100 lb. Club - i need love and support

View Full Version : i need love and support

06-12-2003, 09:10 PM
this isn't weight loss related. that seems to be going ok. but my life is having some major bad spots and i just need some support from my ladies.

a few months ago, my car blew a head gasket. i had to junk it. david and i solved that by sharing his car.

this week, david's car blew it's head gasket. we got really stressed, but were glad that i still have a way to work (the bus) and that i can save money this summer. david is still looking for a job, and is stressed about that. money is a big issue.

then today, i got laid off. budget cuts. i'm feeling so much at once - upset, crying, pissed off, stressed out, desperate, scared. we don't know what to do. the options are not great.

i still have a final left. i don't know if i am even going to graduate. i did horrible on my final yesterday, i just know it.

i know you guys can't fix it. but hopefully you'll have some good words, wisdom, and love for me. i really need it.

06-12-2003, 09:28 PM
Oh, Holly, I'm so sorry.

I don't know that I have any words of wisdom, but you have all of my support.

I can tell you that life is full of ups and downs. My son, who worked in the IT field, got laid off in March--he had a mountain of debts, a mortgage, and his wife hadn't worked since they had their baby, now 2.5, who is a special needs baby and can't go into daycare. He got a temporary contract that just ended and is managing to pull through. I know that you will, too.

You WILL graduate, you WILL find another job, you WILL make it through these tough times. Tell yourself that every day!


06-12-2003, 09:57 PM

I'm so sorry that you're going through so much right now. I also don't have any great words of wisdom, but I'm here for you and care about what you're going through. Money problems are always so very hard.

You've already taken control of your health by doing so great on your weight loss and I know that you will get control of this too.

Good things are headed your way.

06-12-2003, 10:51 PM

I to am so very sory about all the bad you have had to go through. I have been going through the same. Hubby leaving and not knowing and hearing from him for weeks at a time, money being very tight. I have 2 kids so for me it's hard to get a job that will pay for daycare. I have found another way around my money problems (pm me if you would like to know) so that is helping. But the rest will only be over when my hubby comes home.

I wish you all the best of luck. I think money problems are the some of the worst kinda problems there is!


06-12-2003, 11:23 PM
Oh Honey I am so sorry :( I know all about those tough financial problems, and when it rains it pours! I was off of work for 3 months, and we went through some TOUGH times, so I know how hard it can be :( I know that I dont have any words that will make you feel better, but I will pray for you, I promise you that :) Take Care!!

06-12-2003, 11:30 PM
Okay Holly slow down. How bad is the head gasket? and why did you junk a car for it? Did you let it overheat completely? Are there other problems? Gasket sets are pretty cheap, and instructions are cheap too. I did one that we thought was going to be a bear and once welifted the top of the engine off the gasket had just slipped.

Money problems suck, but money is a lie and this too shall pass. You lost your job because of the lie not because your not wonderful. So grieve and be determined. We are here to support you!!!!!!!

We all care about you Holly!!!!!!!

Miss Chris

06-12-2003, 11:39 PM
Hey hon, :grouphug:

You are smart, you are worthwhile, someone out there will hire you for the summer. Get your resume out to the temp agencies just to get your feet wet. I will pray for you that things pull through.

As for the car, you guys must have at least one friend between you who knows about cars enough to give you an estimate?

06-12-2003, 11:53 PM
((((hugs)))) I'm sorry hon, I am in the same boat financially. I am fortunate that my car is still alive, but between my rent, student loan payments, daycare, utilities, car/house insurance payments, clothes, food and gas, I have nothing left over at the end of the month. Debt and bills are horribly stressful things.

You'll get a job, I know things are gonna work out for you. :hug:

06-13-2003, 12:27 AM
:grouphug: Holly, money sucks. I totally feel you, and I'm sorry that you're having such a rough time. Three years ago, we had maxed out our Visa card and were buying bread and milk with our Exxon card. We had to borrow $100 from my best friend to get our electricity turned back on. I was going to school full time and thought I was going to have to drop out, knowing that if I had to quit again, I would never go back. Then, I took my English Lit final knowing that I failed it. I cried for a week, then discovered I actually got a C.

Things will get better. I promise.

06-13-2003, 12:38 AM
oh babycakes. so sorry to read about this stress in your life. BUT everyone is right: it'll all work out. we ALL promise.

the company i was with went bankrupt while i was in the hospital. and i was on disability for 5 months afterwards, which ran out. and i had to pay for my own health insurance and had the gastric bypass with an out of network surgeon, and wasn't released to look for work [which meant i could collect unemployment] for 6 weeks after the surgery.

and now, a job that i hate [well, it was money!1!] BUT I also start a new job next month. in the meantime, i got the bills paid, got settled, and acquired a whole new set of skills.

highly recommend the temp route. a path to money, skills, and checking out other companies.

06-13-2003, 12:52 AM
this was very inspiring to hear all these stories of hardship and triumph. i know i will pull through and i am very glad i have all of you for support.

to answer the car questions - the car is an 87 honda accord, worth less than 2k. it completely overheated, head gasket blown, cracked radiator, water in the engine. it would cost more than the worth of the car to be fixed. i am confident we made the right decision, it was just hard to do.

there are other layers of debt and stress, i just informed you all of what was foremost on my mind.

i hope i will have good news for you all, in terms of graduating, in the next few days.

i know i will make it. i know i'm smart and will be an asset to a company. i know there is light at the end of this tunnel. thank you for helping me get down it.

06-13-2003, 01:52 AM
Hey Holly,

I'm praying for you! Hang in there.

06-13-2003, 08:32 AM

HUGS!!!!! I'm so sorry to hear you're having a tough time. We're all here with support for you. You WILL find a job for the summer, and you will graduate. Even if you didn't do well on one exam, that doesn't mean that you won't graduate, honest! Maybe talk with your professor or advisor.
I'll be thinking about you,


06-13-2003, 10:11 AM
(((((GREAT BIG HUGS))))))

I am so sorry!! Looks like everything has hit all at once. It's time to remember that when one door closes, another door opens. Everything happens for a reason.

I think the temp idea is really something worth checking into. Who knows what kind of companies you will be exposed to. Now that your garduating (and I am confidant that you will), you were going to quit that silly old job anyway!! :)

When Steve and I first got married, we were so broke. But we tried to minimize spending and used a consumer credit counseling agency to help us pay off the bills.

(((((MORE HUGS))))

Things will look up - I promise!!!

06-13-2003, 10:39 AM
I can't do any better than this fabulous lot here...just a *huggles*

06-13-2003, 10:47 AM

Sending positive thoughts your way. It will get better soon, I am sure. The economy is rough right now but I have found that sometimes when we think the worst has happened it is really for the best. You just may find an even better job than the one you just lost and I am sure that your boyfriend will find one soon too. Her's to hoping you find a good, affordable car as quickly as possible. Hang in there, sweetie.

Goddess Jessica
06-13-2003, 12:33 PM

I'm sorry babe! I totally understand how you feel. Funny, I had an 87 Honda Civic and the head gasket blew 3 TIMES! At about 2K a pop, and it still died. Then, the dealer told me, "Well, we've had this problem with that year for awhile." Gee thanks!

Of course, since the car was unrepairable, I had to go buy another one. Since my credit sucks, I had to have a FORD financed at 23.5% ACK! (I was a Honda only girl until then). However, I paid off that car and it's my ghetto mobile but it still runs great! Even AFTER I rear-ended someone and it has about 125K on it.

In other related stories of triumph, when the Cute Boyfriend and I moved 7 states away to California, I quit my job and he moved out here for a new job. We arrived on September 11. THE 9-11. Of course, that meant I wan't going to find work any time soon and then, the Cute Boyfriend got laid off! Ack! It was tough. I remember collecting enough change out of my car to buy dinner. But we totally got through it and you will too.

Holly, you're a fighter. A 3 fat chicks warrior. Let me see you kick some butt.

06-13-2003, 01:10 PM
Holly, I'm sure that you things will be looking up for you very soon. About the final, I'm going to tell you what my big sis told me when I stressed out about tests recently. Have you ever not passed a test? Now, I think that I know the answer to that question. You just need to remember that you are smart and this test is just like all of the others that you have passed in order to get to this point.
About the job, temping is a great way to get your foot in the door. I did it for a while. While it is not the kind of money/job I was looking for, it certainly did help me find a great position in a great company. Also, if you go through some companies, they will line up job after job for you, so you won't have to worry about what happens after one job ends.
Good luck. I'm sure that everything will work out great for you and David.

06-13-2003, 03:54 PM
your not alone holly. funeral day today. hits you all at once don't it. an old english saying i thinks appropriate here

Never stand tall and strong like the oak. cos when the storm swells the roots rip up and the oak falls. be flexible and supple like a weed and get blown about by the wind. cos when the storm is past you'll grow new flowers and be stronger for it.

06-13-2003, 04:40 PM

From what I have observed, you are VERY strong. You WILL conquer this!


06-13-2003, 05:10 PM
Holly, hugs (and a hug for Si too, while I'm at it)....things will get better. I cracked my head gasket last year and it's been very tight making car payments, moving, living! But once I made a couple of lists and realized it would be tight but possible, things we're better. Consider list therapy. Sometimes just writing things down will help you form your plan of attact. (p.s., I didn't think I'd passed my exams in college and didn't know for sure I'd graduate until I saw my diploma at graduation...you'll pass and things will get better!)

06-13-2003, 09:12 PM
(((((HUGS)))))))! here is hoping that you soon see the sliver lining on your clouds...

06-14-2003, 12:29 AM
Holly! O no! That sucks... well, bad things happen to the BEST people, just remember that. (Secondly, Si, that was an EXCELLENT saying! Thanks.) Also, Holly, don't let the present times get you down about the future. Think back to another time in your life when everything was falling apart. You made it through, didn't you? Yep. Think of how SUCKY your life would be if you would've kept the same mind-set you had at that time. Eek. Good luck with everything, my prayers are with you. -Apryl