100 lb. Club - Jacob – I promise you...
06-12-2003, 05:31 PM
June 13, 2003 - 3:06 pm
Jacob – I promise you...
That starting right now, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, right now I will stick to my weight loss program. I will do what I need to do to become a healthy, active, vibrant mom for you. I love you with all my heart and soul and this is going to be my gift to you. I want to be there when you go off to 1st grade, I want to be there when you graduate, I want to be there when you get married. I just want to be there for you. You deserve to have a mom who is of normal weight and is healthy. Who can run with you and play tag. Who want to go to the water park and go on roller coaster rides. You deserve to have a lap to sit on. I will do this for you. You don’t know yet that I am fat, you have never been made fun of for having a fat mom. I will start now and maybe those things (that would break my heart) will never have to happen. You will be the thought that keeps me going when this journey gets tough. You will be my rock. And by helping myself I will be helping you. I will teach you as I learn to eat healthy. My good habits will become your good habits. I refuse to pass my sickness on to you. You don’t know yet that I am sick. So starting now, I will make myself well. I don’t want you to ever sit in a hospital waiting room and say to dad, “How come mom never just lost the weight?”. I want you to say “Well, at least she is strong and healthy, that should help her heal quickly”.
I think often about what life would be like if we ever lost your dad. Well, I think, then I’d get healthy and strong because I’d be all you had. But I just realized, I have it all wrong. What if my weight has already deteriorated my health and then he is called up. Then what. It’ll be too late. And also, I love you and your dad so much. Don’t you and your dad deserve the best of me. I am not at my best at this weight. It is constantly hanging over every day, every event. Don’t we as a family deserve the best right now. I am so lucky to have the 2 of you. I want to give you the best. And starting now, I will.
So, Jacob, my dear sweet 2 year old, to you…I promise.
06-12-2003, 08:01 PM
06-12-2003, 08:15 PM
You made me cry, but you did it so beautifully! Jacob is very lucky to have such a wonderful mom that loves him so very much.
06-12-2003, 08:28 PM
Very powerful, Sandi--thanks for sharing that. You're a great mom!
06-12-2003, 08:46 PM
You're making me cry! That was absolutely beautiful!!! I've thought the same things for my son Matthew too. They're the biggest reason to get healthy, besides doing it for ourselves too!
We will all continue to help each other as much as possible.
06-13-2003, 12:20 AM
Jacob is so lucky to have a Momma like you. :)
06-13-2003, 12:25 AM
OH MY GOSH!!! I am sitting here crying, that is the sweetest thing ever, and he is SO lucky to have such a caring, wonderful Mommy! I know that you WILL be around to see him graduate, we will make sure of that! You have the right attitude, and he is so worth EVERY struggle that you will EVER have to go through, just keep his beautiful face in your mind whenever you struggle, and let your feelings carry you through :) Just beautifully written, thanks for that! Wow!
06-13-2003, 12:40 AM
i KNEW i shouldn't have read this without the tissues!!!
very moving, worth saving
06-13-2003, 12:55 AM
you should print a copy, or write it down, and save it with things for jacob to read or see when he is older. it was wonderful. :)
06-13-2003, 01:22 AM
Awww Sandy that is so nice (I am tearing up). :) I have the exact same thoughts when I think of my daughter (our kids are almost the exact same age, my daughter will be 3 on July 28th). :)
06-13-2003, 10:50 AM
Is there anything as strong and pure as a mothers love? You have a lucky little boy.
06-13-2003, 11:05 AM
That is so special:) I also have a two year old son...and I have the same thoughts. I know you can do this.....we can do this....all of us can do this. Jacob has a special mom.
06-13-2003, 12:38 PM
Thank you so much for sharing with us. You really are a great mom, Jacob is a lucky little boy.
06-13-2003, 12:53 PM
*sniff* How beautiful. I agree with everyone ~ you should print this up and read it every day. Sounds like you've found what it takes for it to "click". Proud of ya!!! :D
06-13-2003, 12:53 PM
Oh Sandi...how sweet. I am just crying my eyes out now! I grew up with an over weight mom. It was so hard once I got into school, and like you said, realized that she was "fat". It was heartbreaking because my mom was and still is my best friend. Now she battles congestive heart failure, diabietes, knee problems and a nuber of other conditions that break my heart. I am so glad you are doing something for you and Jacob now:)
06-13-2003, 02:52 PM
Thanks you guys!!
I am going to print it out and put it in the front of my motivation book.
It has been my click. I am doing great. passed up cookies, even!!
06-14-2003, 03:21 AM
Oh the innocence of little children, how they love and adore you now matter what your weight. It is horrible to think one day he may be teased for having a plus size mom. It really is a motivation to stay OP
That was so lovely Sandi do keep it. You can really write well. Good luck
Sandi that was really great. I know that so many of us are in the same boat. We want so much to lose weight and it is so darned hard even when we have the best motivation in the world. Our kids. I think the exact same thing as you. My little guy is starting to be too much for me and it is only because of my weight and it makes me absolutely sick. I've thought so many times that I don't want my son to grow up with a fat mom. They have such a tough time as it is and peer pressure has only gotten worse. I don't want to add to his problems by being teased because of my weight. I want to be able to do so much with him and I won't if I continue down this path I am on.
I know Sandi that both of us have made many new starts that have unfortunately not been as successful as we might have hoped. Let's make this our last new start and keep on going til we make our goals. Best wishes!
06-15-2003, 11:06 PM
Thanks for giving me something to think about. My sons are 11 and 13 but that doesnt even matter, they're still my 'baby boys'. Luke, my 11 yr old, is overweight also and I just have to do this so that he'll be able to do it also. I didnt have a weight problem until adulthood and it breaks my heart that he's going thru it already. I've got to be the example he needs!
06-17-2003, 04:47 PM
You just made tears come to my eyes.
I feel exactly the way that you do and I talk about doing it for Brandon (my 14 month old).
There's nothing that I wouldn't do for him, so why should I stop there. I need to get to a healthy weight now.
You are so right!
06-17-2003, 04:56 PM
Hey Sandi - My daughter was my click, too. She's 14 now, and I heard her saying things like "god, I'm SO fat." and "I hate how I look, I hate who I am!" And you know what, it broke my heart. I realized that my unhealthy attitudes and habits had been inflicted upon those people I would never have intentionally hurt, my children. I realized the only real way to teach was to be an example... soooooo, here I am. When my daughter realized I was serious (her first comment when I mentioned I was going to start working out and eating right was "oh yeah, right Mom, sure.") and I'd lost about 15 pounds (when her comment was, "Gee Mom, you have lost weight, your gut doesn't stick out past your boobs now!") she started asking me for help. And then my son took interest, too. And as my daughter keeps reminding ME now, it's not about the number on the scale as much as it is about losing inches and fitting into smaller clothes and feeling healthy. It doesn't mean I don't have bad days, but I know why I'm doing this, and there is no question that I will go the distance now.
:grouphug: Jacob has a Mommy who really cares, he's a lucky boy. :)
10-23-2003, 12:38 AM
Sandi ~~ That is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us. I also have a two year old named Jacob who is the love of my life along with his older brother Matthew. :) They are the main reason I am on this journey.
06-25-2004, 11:37 AM
Sandi, no fair making me cry! That was so amazing! Jacob is one very lucky boy to have a mom who not only loves him so deeply, but is aware of what she needs to do to fully be there for him and is willing to do it, no matter how hard. Bless you for being such a great mom, and for giving me further inspiration to lose this weight so I can do all the things you mentioned with my future children!
BTW, my mom has never lost her weight. She tries, and I know that she loves us, but she just hasn't been able to do it. And we do worry, a lot, that we'll lose her because of it. Thanks for showing me that we don't all have to end up that way. :grouphug:
06-25-2004, 04:56 PM
Sandi, that was so sweet and written with some much love. I can relate to everything that you said. I am happy to say though that since I changed my families eating habits my son has lost an additonal 20 pounds. He has lost a total of about 40 pounds. He has about 20 to go I would say. Once he tones up his belly he will be good to go. I am so proud of him. For being only 14 he has done an exceptional job.
06-29-2004, 12:56 AM
Thanks Guys!! I still mean every word. I will do this for him!!!
Tammy - How wonderful that your son is having success!! You must be very proud of him.
01-11-2006, 03:29 PM
bumping for Sandi, cause I love ya!
01-11-2006, 04:09 PM
Wow! I just saw my response to your note too...
I can't believe the time has flown - Brandon is going to be 4 in March.
01-11-2006, 04:32 PM
This is so cool that it got bumped :)
there are so many people on here that I miss!! gonostar, denise.. where did they all go?
01-11-2006, 05:02 PM
Oh Gosh, now I'm fat and have mascara running down my face. LOL!
Seriously that was very beautiful. It's wonderful to have something that can motivate you that much.
I have two little "motivaters" at home myself :)
Aww - that is so sweet! My DS is my motivation, too - I don't want him to develop the terrible habits that have plagued me my whole life.
01-11-2006, 11:13 PM
Jacob is a fortunate boy to have such a caring mom! I know exactly where you are coming from. My daughter Katy is my motivation and weight loss inspiration. :)
To help me keep focused on why I am doing this - here is a picture of my goals page that I have up at home and at work were I see it everyday.
I wish you the very best. I know you can do it!
01-12-2006, 02:03 AM
Beautiful and eloquent.
Bless you and your family you are all very lucky.
01-12-2006, 04:48 PM
I just got the chance to read this - there's tears in my eyes as well.
01-12-2006, 06:52 PM
Sandi...*HUGS* that was beautiful. Every little boy should have a Mother like you.
01-12-2006, 07:33 PM
That was beautiful and if you don't mind with your permission im going to steal It and put my 17 month old daughter's name in place of it. That's something i'd like to put on my fridge to keep me going in times like these. thanks for posting that it saved me.
01-13-2006, 02:17 PM
Wow...thank you for writing this letter. As a mother, I share all your thoughts and dreams! We can do this. May all your desires come true!
01-13-2006, 02:24 PM
wow,and i JUST put on my makeup too.gee thanks.just kidding,that was wonderful.really makes me think about my life with my kids.i think all the time too about what if i lost my hubby but i never think about them losing me.thanks for your words.