Support Groups - Sisterhood of the Big and Tall Pants




gamechanger
06-14-2013, 03:12 PM
Hey All! After discussing this topic with a few of my statuesque friends on the Introductions forum, we decided that the female 3FC members who are big and tall would like to start a little support thread for ourselves. I've looked through the threads for something similar so that I wouldn't be repeating something that's already available. I found one active thread for the big and tall woman, but it's located in the "20 Somethings" sub-forum. I don't know about you, but it has been a while since I've seen my 20's ;). So, I'm starting this "Sisterhood of the Big and Tall Pants" (my friend Warrior Princess came up with the title--big shout out!!!) here in the Support forum so that ladies of all ages can participate.

You may be asking, "Why do big and tall girls need their own thread?" Well, I'm glad you asked. :) When you are overweight or obese, you have a many issues that plague you. You guys know them all because those issues drove you to join 3FC. However, when you are overweight or obese and tall, your issues are compounded somewhat. As females, most of us have been taught since childhood to be feminine and dainty. But if you're tall and big, your femininity, womanhood, and attractiveness often comes under siege and can suffer at the hands of people who have decided that you are a target. (Yes, mean people and the media) We statuesque/Rubenesque ladies need a place to commiserate, to vent, to share, to offer support, and even to rant as we go throughout our lives heads and shoulders above the crowd. We need a place to talk about how to find clothing to fit us, especially as our sizes and shapes change. We need a place to discuss the latest jerk who decided that we were just "too much woman" to handle. We need a place to rant about how we had to practically eat our knees because the airplane seating rows are place too closely together. In other words, we just need a place in the world where it's okay to be big and tall.

If you're interested in joining in on the "Sisterhood of the Big and Tall Pants" discussion and support thread, please just jump in and let us know what you're thinking.

I'll leave you with this wonderful stanza from Maya Angelou's "Phenomenal Woman":cool:

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


Hyacinth
06-14-2013, 04:13 PM
I love the group idea and the name! I agree, tall-fat problems are slightly different!

ReNew Me
06-14-2013, 05:42 PM
I totally agree that being big and tall has it's own set of problems ... heck, just being big boned in general is a headache -- even at "normal" weight I'm around a size 10 or 12. I find the whole process of shopping for clothes and shoes literally traumatizing. IF I can find my shoe size in the store it's doubtful if they'll be comfortable (because apparently all shoe manufacturers think if you wear a size 11 you have wide feet) and just forget finding decent shoes on the sales rack at all. Everything looks like castoffs from a drag queen's closet -- a drag queen with no taste.

Oh yeah, and apparently, in addition to having wide feet, all women over a certain size have skinny biceps, narrow shoulders and large breasts ... and I'm just the opposite.

Long story short, as you all know, it is not a one size fits all world, "average sized" people can't relate. Until you've sat in DSW trying on shoe after shoe after shoe trying to find just ONE pair that fits comfortably ... or you've ever bought multiple numbers of the same thing because it happens to fit whether you like what it looks like or not you can't relate. I've pretty much given up and just wear stuff to death, by the time I'm done with it there's nothing left to donate, I simply hate shopping that much. Frankly I just do most of my shopping in the mens department. I tried to buy a nice dress for a party last winter, I ended up shopping online and bought THREE just so I'd wind up with one outfit, good thing, too, because it turned out only one of the dresses DID fit ...


gamechanger
06-14-2013, 06:41 PM
Yes Renew Me. I agree. You know it has to be something mighty powerful to make a woman not enjoy shopping, especially for shoes. Finding only "mufugly" plus size clothing items that are generally too short and "clog-hoppers for shoes" available for large women is a definite and powerful shopping deterrent. I've been adverse to clothes and shoes shopping since I was a pre-teen. Over the past 12 or 13 years, I've basically Internet shopped for clothes and shoes. In this way, I can avoid exhausting, frustrating, and embarrassing myself in the attempt to find the correct size for my height and girth. When I receive my purchases via home delivery, I hold my breath as I try on the articles in the privacy of my own home to see if they actually fit . Sometimes the articles fit, and sometimes they don't. If they do, Hooray!!! If they don't, I'm disappointed, but at least I'm not subjected to finding this out in a store where there's always an audience. I can always return the articles of clothing and exchange them for another size, or I can get them altered. The only drawback to the whole Internet ordering/alteration thing is that it can get overly expensive. My big/tall clothes already cost more than average size clothes cost. When you add on the cost of shipping and the cost of possible alterations into the equation, the purse is going to feel the pressure. At any rate, it's not easy being a big and tall woman.

Renew Me is correct. Even when I lose the weight and get down to a healthy weight for my height and bone structure, fitting into clothes (especially pants, jeans, and shoes) is still a challenge. I think that is one of the reasons behind my weight loss challenge and sometimes (dare I say it) reluctance. Because in the back of my mind and heart, I'm thinking and feeling, "Why should I put myself through all of this change, effort, and discomfort when I'll still be considered "big" even when I'm of normal weight for my height?" Yes, to people who are not large or better yet to people who have not been battling their size for most of their lives, the above statements may seem irrational. However, this is how many big and tall women feel. I'm just honest enough and/or crazy enough to say it aloud to an audience. I'm not saying that it is the right way to think, but it is indeed a reality. I'm just giving the feeling a voice. Quite frankly, now that I'm older and more mature, I have long since relinquished all thoughts or desires of wanting to be model thin or petite. I just want to be healthy and to be my best self. For whom, you may ask? Answer: FOR ME! :-D

I'll catch all of you Phenomenal Ladies later...Have an awesome weekend.

gamechanger
06-14-2013, 09:34 PM
Hyacinth, I love the Brit Coms on PBS. Keeping Up Appearances is one of my favorites. Patricia Routledge plays Hyacinth Bucket (aka Bouquet) to perfection. She's totally nuts! :-) Your choice of avatar has brightened my day.

changeforme
06-17-2013, 09:25 AM
how about boots? in my head I feel like I have big legs, but I know they're actually pretty damn average for my size - so why is it so hard to find a boot that will zip over my calf? pisses me off every single stinking winter

and don't get me started on dresses for tall girls ... they think my waist is where? all the empire dresses make me feel like I'm pretending to be pregnant - nope, not preggers, just chubby, thanks.

:) I like this group :) happy Monday everyone!

betsy2013
06-17-2013, 11:42 AM
Ooohhh. Women after my own heart! Yes, the joys of being large, big framed, tall, etc. are definitely a mixed bag. I'm in my 60s, so I've just accepted that the likelihood of finding attractive clothing/shoes/accessories/underwear is remote. And I remember when I was in high school (the last time I was at my goal weight) that I still wore a 10 or 12. So, even when I get to goal, I'm not going to be a tiny little thing. Thank heavens that women's feet are getting bigger. My feet hit a size 10 in 6th grade way back in 1960 (yes, I know that the majority of you weren't even born then). Finding shoes that would fit an 11 year old in a size 10 was almost impossible and it took years before it got easier.

All I can say is thank heaven for the Internet.

Hyacinth
06-19-2013, 01:51 PM
Thanks, Gamechanger! She makes me laugh every time I watch her.

Betsy2013: I know how hard it was to find large women's shoe sizes in the 80s, I can only imagine what a nightmare it must've been in the 60s!

My DSW strategy: head straight back to the clearance racks, because clearance is grouped by size, and regular shoes are grouped by style. Way easier to find the 11Ws!

I've heard that drag queens in the UK dress a lot less trashy than the US drag queens. Does anybody know a transgender or drag queen in the UK who can give us some online shopping sites? LOL. Speaking of drag queens, whenever I donate shoes to the Goodwill, I always imagine I am going to make some man's day!

Big calves: Don't get me started. My mom says I have nice, eastern-European calves, lol. I did learn that a good leather boot can be brought in to have the calves stretched, but I haven't done it yet.

How about "there's no such thing as big bones?" I am 5'11" and have never been a willowy supermodel. I almost always have to buy men's gloves, even when I am in a normal height-weight range. For contrast, I have a friend who is 6'0" and has a bone structure like Olive Oyl.

Getting rings, bracelets, or socks is always an awkward gift, as they almost never fit.

In some ways, it was easier to be a fat person, because fat is more common than overly tall and seemed to mask the tallness a bit. As I lose weight, I have to get at peace with the fact that my core size doesn't change and I'm still going to be "a solid girl" when I weigh 170. My features are becoming more angular, and I feel more masculine. Also, as your face thins it seems your nose, eyes, and mouth look bigger. Kinda weird.

gamechanger
06-19-2013, 05:14 PM
Hi Ladies,

It's been a minute since I last posted. I've been battling a cold/flu. I think stress is compromising my immune system to be perfectly honest. But anyway...

Yes, I can identify with everything that has been written on this thread especially in the matter of boots and jewelry. I don't wear either of them. I don't wear boots because of the calf issue, and I don't wear rings or bracelets because of the size issue. As for earrings, I stop wearing them because the pierced kind infect my earlobes and the clip-on type give me bad headaches. I'm a big sturdy looking lady, but my body is more sensitive and highly-strung than an 80 pound weakling. (I inherited this from my mother's side of the family. I think her family tree must be riddled with mutants.)

Here in Houston summer has appeared in all of its scorching glory. Once again, I'm experiencing another fat summer. I hate summertime. Everyone's wearing shorts and tank tops and cute strappy sandals. In other words, they're wearing the type of clothes that I dare not wear. Because I'm almost totally covered, the summer just becomes a type of sweltering oven of misery for me. This just feeds my desire to stay inside (in cooler temperatures and out of public viewing). I would like to experience a fun summer at a normal weight (I'm tall so I know that I won't be normal size). I would like to be one of those people wearing shorts and a tank top without being self-conscious or shamefaced. This is one of my weight-loss goals: a fun, active and self-confident summer.

Hyacinth
06-19-2013, 06:10 PM
Gamechanger, fat summers do suck. But you're changing your game, and next summer will suck less ... heck, you are likely to notice change by the end of this summer!

gamechanger
06-20-2013, 06:46 PM
Hey all of you gorgeous goddesses!!! :hug: I hope everyone is getting along great. I'm doing okay. However, something just happened recently (yesterday) that begs me to pose a question to you and pick your collective brains. As a big and tall female I've experienced problems with this particular issue before, but it has just been recently that I've begun to recognize the behavior immediately and to address the issue head on so that I don't suffer any repercussions because of it. Ever so often people (especially women) project their feelings onto me and want me to take ownership of them and want others to believe that those feelings and opinions are authentically mine. I find this not just annoying but also dangerous especially in the workplace. I've also learned that people in management positions are much more likely to believe that a big/tall woman would harbor aggressive or belligerent emotions and tendencies more so than a regular-sized or petite woman. So when someone projects their negative emotions onto a big/tall woman and then involves co-worker, etc. by spreading the word that the big/tall woman is upset about something (and it's not even true), people tend to believe the message and begin treating the big/tall woman differently. Has this happened to any of you? If so, how did you handle it?

My Example: Yesterday, I was teaching a class at a community center. I've been teaching this class since February, and the schedule never varies. A new group came in, a cheerleading squad. The group's manager was clearly upset that I was present with my three students. She felt that we were in the way (we weren't but oh well). I even moved my students to a small corner of the room to make sure we weren't in the way. This was not satisfactory for her. She wanted the entire room for just her group. I never said anything to her except to identify myself when she rudely asked me for my name and my purpose for being there. She took off to find the manager of the facility. Of course, she told him that I was not happy that the space had been double booked. She even confronted me in front of an audience of parents and apologized for the amount of noise her classes had made. Now ladies, no complaint had passed my lips to anyone. As far as I was concern, I didn't care who I shared the space with because I share the space with different groups on a daily basis. Clearly, this woman was upset about having to share the space, but her passive-aggressive way of dealing with this was to project her feelings of displeasure, frustration, and annoyance onto me. I hate this when it happens because it means that I have to spend precious time going behind the perpetrator and speak with "management" after she's spoken with them in order to divulge the truth. I have to be proactive about the situation because I've learn that left to their own devices "management" will believe the negative report about you and will nurse a grudge instead of coming to you for clarification. This is especially true if you are big and tall and the person who is reporting on you is not. To everyone you seem way more menacing, so it is easier for them to believe that you are the problem.

Well ladies, thanks for allowing me to get this off my chest. If any of you have had any experiences like this, let us know. Also, how did you handle it, and what was the outcome?

Hyacinth
06-20-2013, 07:07 PM
I hate to perpetuate stereotypes, but the fact that she is an aged cheerleader and teaching a cheerleading class leads me to believe that part of the problem is her own entitlement. At any rate, her behavior sounds a little passive aggressive.

I'd simply smile, be as sweet as pie, and tell the manager you never complained, with a puzzled look on your face. And then explain that you even took your small group into a corner, as to not impose on the others needing the space.

I've definitely gotten some projection like this, but it usually has to do with responsibility or stability. More of the "let's trust the big strong girl" sort.

gamechanger
06-20-2013, 07:31 PM
LOL!!!! "AGED CHEERLEADER" :-D You crack me up! Yes, I think she did suffer from a false sense of entitlement. You're right. I cleared up everything with the manager, but I just resent the fact that I must go on "clean-up" duty in order to quell potential problems and drama.

Oh yes, I can definitely identify with the "leave the big girl holding the bag" syndrome. Unfortunately, in some cases, being smart, trustworthy, responsible, mature, capable, and big is not advantageous. This type of situation makes me avoid group projects like the plague.

ReNew Me
06-20-2013, 09:24 PM
I know I'm big boned, and my chiropractor confirmed it, so I've got a professional certifying it! I never bother shopping for gloves in the women's department, even if they fit my hands the fingers are like an inch too short. Men's isotoners work nicely.

And talking big bones, anybody remember the big shoulder look of the 80s? With my shoulders if I didn't cut the shoulder pads out it looked like I was walking around in a permanent hunch. I wanted to try to use the shoulder pads as bra fillers but they overflowed my cups :(

Hyacinth
06-21-2013, 03:09 PM
Yeah, styles that have shoulder pads or even raglan-style sleeves will make me look like a linebacker.

Once, my sister-in-law's relative told me I came from "good stock." Moo?

I think another Big Girl stereotype is that we are good at blue-collar jobs: I get asked for help with moving, to lift something, to open a jar, etc.

And, alas, an inspiring blog entry many of us can relate to (marginally NSFW photos): http://villainouslove.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/my-body-is-amazing/

Hello Nurse
06-22-2013, 11:45 AM
I love this thread! I'm built, like a male friend once so eloquently put it, like a "linebacker breeder". I wear size 11w shoes, men's gloves, and my wedding ring size is larger than my husbands! Even when not working out I stay fairly muscular, and build muscle easily with minimal work. Basically I'm pretty solid, at least under all the flab on top, lol. It makes it really hard to determine a goal weight, because the "experts" want me around 160, which I have listed as my goal weight but in my mind it's up for debate. I remember weighing 160 when I was around 12, very fit, and hadn't developed boobs yet! I'm thinking I'll be better off around 185-190, but I guess we'll see as I get closer to it.

gamechanger
06-23-2013, 11:56 AM
Hello Nurse, I can totally relate. I build muscle easily as well, so a lot of those exercise videos that are being advertised on TV just make me bigger and more masculine looking. It's a terrible thing to workout and sweat so hard and the only result is that you build bigger muscles under your fat. You burn very little fat if any with these exercise routines, but you build muscle like crazy. I was informed a while ago that my body type is called "endomesomorph", which is the most exasperating body type to have. If I want to lose weight, lose fat, reshape and tone, I have to be veryyyyy discipline with my diet (high lean protein, very few carbos). I must walk (in the fat burning zone at a steady pace) for at least an hour a day. I must use fluid ballet-like body movements using my body's own weight to reshape and tone. I must never lift weights, not even 5lbs. dumbbells. Yes, I've tried all of this simultaneously, and it works. However, I have to be discipline and organized to do it and to stick to it. Usually, I fall off the wagon if a crisis distracts me. And then, it takes a long time before I can get back on the wagon again. For the past month or two I've been working on my mind and emotions to set myself up for success in this area of my life. I know how to lose weight; I just need to start thinking correctly and managing my emotions and stress correctly so that I can really take good care of my body.

gamechanger
06-23-2013, 12:36 PM
Why don't people think before they speak? I mean, really. I've been reading your posts, and most of you have mentioned the unflattering comments that have been lodged at you by folk who seem to me to suffer from diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain. Who in their right mind would tell a woman that she is a "linebacker breeder" or "she's from good stock" as if she were livestock instead of a person. Maybe I'm overreacting. However, for most of my life I was surrounded by negative, judgmental (even mean) people who always thought that it was their duty to keep me informed about my appearance, so I have formed some strong opinions about people making personal and oftentimes insulting comments that are unwarranted and unsolicited. The funny thing about it is that if we were to turn the tables on these "commentators" to show them how it feels, they would be very upset and would hate us forever. For instance, one of my former principals (yes, a principal of a school) decided to inform me (out of the blue) that I had broad shoulders like a swimmer or a gymnast. He went on to say that I was genetically built this way. He said this to me in a public setting. I was mortified. I wanted to tell him that his receding hairline (he was noticeably self-conscious about this) with its pitifully thin widow's peak meant that he was follicle-challenged-- its genetic you can kiss your hair goodbye. But I didn't issue a retort, he was my boss. But I would have loved to have returned the favor.

Hello Nurse
06-23-2013, 06:18 PM
That bothers me too. Why would anyone feel they have the need, or the right, to comment on another person's body. The "linebacker breeder" comment was innocent, however. I'm friends with both he and his wife, and she is naturally tall and super thin. She has a lean, not naturally muscular build. We were talking about our respective body types when he made the analogy. It was pretty accurate, and not in an offensive context at all :)

gamechanger
06-23-2013, 06:51 PM
Well, most importantly I'm glad you weren't offended and that you didn't consider the person's comment to be mean-spirited or out of context. However, usually these types of comments generally carry their own unique kind of sting.

ReNew Me
06-23-2013, 07:23 PM
Oh I loved my muscle, I have a beautiful home gym. Had to give up serious weight training due to tendon deterioration but I'm really, really thinking about getting back into it, just need to consult with my doctor.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one that's been in the supermarket and had a shorter person tap them on the shoulder from behind and say "Excuse me, sir, could you get that can off the top shelf?" even with my long hair. I have a story I like to tell, from the time my husband and I were vacationing in Provincetown. For those of you not familiar, Provincetown (nicknamed P-town) is very popular with the gay crowd. I was standing at a counter waiting to pick up our classic New England style lobster boil dinner in this shanty restaurant on a dock while my husband held the table. Now you have to know, my husband and I both have long hair and prefer large framed glasses. On vacation we tend to dress similarly, basically cargo shorts and tees. As I head back to the table with dinner I see my husband laughing his head off. He's sitting there alone so I've gotta ask what's so funny. Turns out that two rather effeminate men at the table next to him were having a quiet debate about me. Specifically they could not decide whether I was a guy or a girl. I couldn't decide whether to be humiliated, indignant or proud that I was able to completely throw off not one but TWO gay mens gay-dar.

gamechanger
06-24-2013, 07:10 PM
Hi ReNew Me, did you do any pro or amatuer bodybuilding before your tendon injury? I've always been interested in toning (not bulking)my muscles while stripping off the fat that's covering it. It seems that I really have to be extraordinarily discipline to do this, and it usually occurs at a slow rate. My diet must consist of almost no carbs, which is really, really, really, really hard. Did I say that it was really hard? :-) If you have any pointers or instructions on how to strip the fat off so that I can see my muscles (they are naturally big) without losing my mind because I crave bread and pasta, please let me know.

ReNew Me
06-24-2013, 11:09 PM
Hey GameChanger, I wanted to compete so badly from the time I was in my 20s. My personal life prevented the training and dieting the way I needed to. By the time my life was in a place where I could do the diet/training, I started having health problems (my health has been screwed up since the late 1990s, but I was able to weight train until about three years ago).

The simple facts are that most people do not have the metabolism to strip fat while maintaining the majority of their muscle. It can be done up to a point but as you already pointed out in your post it requires discipline and regimented eating.

I could go into a dissertation that explains metabolism, anabolism, catabolism, blah, blah, blah ... I'll give you the simplest metaphor I know: Ever watch Survivor? By the end of the season just about EVERYONE left on the island has ripped abs. Why? Diet. There is an old saying in the weight training community: "Abs are built in the kitchen." It's true.

POWERLIFTING (as opposed to bodybuilding) is about leverage and pure strength. Many powerlifters do not "look strong" or can look downright pudgy. Many bodybuilders can look like they can rip the roof off your car but they don't have the strength of powerlifters, they just have really low bodyfat ... hang with me for a moment and I'll bring this together.

Muscle is actually metabolically wasteful from a biological perspective. What that means is simply that one pound of muscle burns more calories than one pound of fat (or bone, or just about anything that falls under the "not 100% critical" category -- like heart or brain). So, in a famine situation, our bodies are going to do everything they can to reduce metabolism which is why starvation diets result in rapid weight loss: Our bodies cannibalize our muscles BEFORE they attack fat stores (to a point) to reduce overall metabolism. And that's why starvation diets ultimately fail: After the person goes back to eating normally they've now got a significantly reduced metabolism because of lost muscle and now they're eating above their requirements and they yo-yo back up the scale.

This all is both too long and yet is EXTREMELY condensed but I'm trying to explain how the whole fat/muscle thing works and it helps to understand why cutting fat and retaining muscle is so hard. What successful bodybuilders can do is find a "personal sweet spot" where they can retain an enormous amount of muscle while simultaneously burning fat. That requires basically fanatically precise eating, seriously. I'm talking eating everything weighed to the gram, eaten on a schedule. And still not everyone's body is capable of getting down into single digit fat levels. It's a genetics thing as much as a discipline thing ...

Long story short ... if you really, really want to lose fat and retain muscle (a/k/a toning) you have to be a total diet psycho and watch the proportions of carbs to protein to fats vigilantly. It's very hard for a lot of people, they often go at it the wrong way and lose patience (you can't be half-way about this kind of diet, you have to go completely clean and sacrifice the junk for months at a time) and even if they go at it totally balls to the wall with complete dedication they still might not have the genes to achieve the results they want.

Did I answer your question or go completely south? I've been doing that a lot recently. If I went off the reservation let me know. I realize you aren't really interested in so much competition but more general body image but the concepts apply, which is why I ended up covering so much ground.

ReNew Me
06-25-2013, 09:50 AM
I was kind of tired and distracted when I wrote that earlier post and I failed to give you the ratios that most bodybuilders start from when it comes to cutting (which is the process of dropping bodyfat while retaining maximum muscle). Please bear in mind I'm coming at this from the perspective of a female bodybuilders looking to cut. Men can approach things differently and still have success, women need to be highly disciplined.

One thing you need to know is that for the most part people who are considering serious cutting are usually weight training anywhere from two to five hours a week in three to five weekly sessions, in addition to anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes a day of cardio.

Now, having that knowledge, the general rule of thumb to cut is 10 to 12 times your bodyweight in calories broken down into macro ratios (in grams) of 40% protein/30% fat/30% carbohydrate. You don't start at the lowest percentage, you start at the highest percentage and then assess progress, which would work like this:

Assume (for the sake of math simplicity) you weigh 200 pounds. You will be eating a total of 2,400 calories a day in about five or six small meals. At the end of the day you would have needed to have consumed 240 grams of protein, 180 grams of carbohydrate and 80 grams of fat while drinking anywhere from one to two gallons of water a day. You will not eat refined foods or sugars. The usual diet consists of eggs/egg whites, plain oatmeal, chicken breast, low fat fish, brown rice, sweet potatoes, low carb veggies, olive and/or flaxseed oils and protein powders if the person is having a hard time getting their protein macro in.

Most people start with the 12 x their bodyweight number, weigh themselves before they start the diet, weigh and measure themselves weekly, maintain a weight training log, and then consider adjustments after anywhere from two weeks to a month. Those adjustments are based on if they're losing too fast/too slow or gaining fat or their lifts are stalling or going down. Depending on what's happening with their weight and lifts (and even photographs from all angles) calories may be raised or lowered or macros adjusted.

gamechanger
06-26-2013, 12:18 AM
Hey Renew Me, I'm sorry that you've suffered from ill health, and I'm also sorry that you didn't get the chance to pursue your dream earlier in life. However, if you still desire it, it's not too late. I've read about female bodybuilders who competed well into their late 50s. So if you still want to go for it, I say, "Go for it!";) You would probably be spectacular.

Thank you for all of this helpful information. I appreciate it very much. You're right, I don't desire to be a bodybuilder or to have a total bodybuilder's physique. (I doubt that I could achieve it anyway, like you said--genetics.) However, I do want to significantly decrease the fat I have covering up everything. The diet you've written is similar to a plan that I was on a few years ago (everything except the oatmeal). And you're right again, the diet worked like a charm. I lost weight and fat, felt better physically, and many ailments I had been suffering disappeared. At first, it came off fast (25 pounds the first month), but then it slowed down somewhat (8-10 pounds a month). I was very pleased with the results, but the diet was so restrictive. After about six months, I fell off the wagon due to stress, time-management, and cravings.

Let's face it. I've got to get more disciplined about my food choices and gain better control of my mind and emotions. Hopefully, I'll be able adopt this meal plan as a life style change instead of a temporary experiment so that I can reach my weight loss goal and maintain it. It will also help in correcting some of my health concerns. I've just got to wrap my mind around it and accept the fact that I can't just eat anything I want. Thanks again Renew Me. I appreciate it.

gamechanger
07-01-2013, 11:10 AM
Hi Ladies,
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I was surfing the net and found the following resource for big and tall women. It's a sort of pathfinder for clothing and shoes (yes, even boots). Check it out when you get the chance:

http://www.tallwomen.org/clothes/usa/

I hope this is helpful.:hug:

ReNew Me
07-01-2013, 02:02 PM
Oh, GameChanger you are so sweet but serious weight training like I used to do is completely out of the question for me and I'm not so sure at this stage of the game, with hormone issues and the fact I'm lucky to be able to use my one arm at all. Heck, if I can do a few things down the road (even if I have to buy assistive devices) I'll be happy but there are certain moves that I would be placing certain tendons under too much strain and I've spent too much time and money over two plus years of recovery to jeopardize it.

Oh, you mentioned that you found good success with cutting fat on a clean, managed diet but fell off the wagon due to the restrictiveness. Bodybuilders run into the same problem, which is why they build a planned cheat day into their diet (for some people it's just a cheat meal) Usually they have ONE day every two weeks to a month that is their cheat day (some people call it a refeed). The thing is, your body usually needs it, too and it keeps the fat burning process moving along.

mountain mama
07-01-2013, 02:56 PM
Awesome! So glad I found you guys:) been dealing with the big n talk for well... Ever!
I've recently moved to the USA from Canada and my fiancÚ always says I've got that northern blood- that's why I'm so talk- lol I can't help it!
I'm far from dainty- but I like to pretend! ;)

gamechanger
07-01-2013, 06:59 PM
Hey Renew Me, how's it going. I've been celebrating dropping 14lbs. since May. I may not be dropping it like its hot and 14 may not be a big number, but I promised myself that I would learn to celebrate small successes. I have so much weight to lose, and waiting the two years it will probably take me to drop all of it to celebrate is just stupid. So I'm celebrating the little steps.

I love the cheat day idea. If I can have one of those every other week, that would definitely help my morale which will help me to stay on target. Thanks for the info. I appreciate it.

gamechanger
07-01-2013, 07:02 PM
Hey Mountain Mama and welcome to the Sisterhood. I sometimes pretend about the daintiness as well. I think it's fun.;)

Hyacinth
07-05-2013, 09:45 PM
Welcome, Mountain Mama!

Gamechanger, thank you for the link! I saved it and shared "Gargantuan Wear" with my son.

Shopping Rant: I went to the Deb store to buy what they were referring to as capris. I think they basically cut a bunch of skinny-jeans off at the knee and rolled a one-inch cuff. This is fine, and they make for cute shorts, except for the skinny-jeans part. I tried on what would be my regular size, and they practically cut my circulation off at my knee! But everything else fit. So I tried the next size up, which fit on the knee a little better, but was too loose in the waist. I have the same problem with skinny jeans, when they fit on the leg they are way too big in the waist. Is this common to you all as well? I'm thinking it's a big-boned problem, because my waist is not particularly small. (I don't wear skinny jeans anyway, but more often than not I grab jeans to try on before checking to make sure they aren't skinny).

mountain mama
07-05-2013, 10:33 PM
I have the same issue when buying capris- they need to have more width at the knee, or else there's no hope- I bough z few with the little slits at the knees and I love em!

gamechanger
07-07-2013, 07:23 PM
Hi Hyacinth, I'm glad you found the website useful.

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, skinny jeans, skinny capris??? You guys are killing me with this skinny stuff you're able to fit into??? LOL!!! I'm just kidding. But seriously, I run a country mile when I run into any article of clothing with the word "skinny" on it. My thighs are not built for that particular word. :-) However, I can relate to the problem of having to buy pants or jeans in a size that fits your thighs, knees, and hips, but gaps like crazy in your waist. Every time I question someone about this problem, they always give me the same remedy-- Get the pants altered and tailored to fit your waist. In other words, spend more money on clothing. :-(

MauiKai
08-06-2013, 08:33 AM
Hello! Another tall girl here. I guess though, unlike many, I LOVE being tall and wouldn't trade it for short or average ever. I'm happy to walk through the world looking right over the top of others...it's the best view ever! My DH is 5 or 6" shorter than I as well. Besides, without me, how would all the people at the grocery store get stuff off the top shelf? I'm forever being asked to retrieve this, retrieve that, haha!

Being tall is AWESOME.

I usually buy jeans from Alloy (up to a 39" inseam, though I need 37") or occasionally Wrangler and VS. I like shirts from Gap in the tall size because of the long sleeves. I wear tankini swimwear because one piece suits either run up my heiny or pull down off my chest...yikes!

One thing that always gives me a laugh is my friend, who is between 5'7 and 5'8, and she thinks she's "so tall." She tries to commiserate with me about the difficulties of "tallness" yet she's really just on the high side of average, scraping the bottom of "tall." She can wear the sad little "tall" pants you find occasionally in stores, you know, the ones with the 34" inseam that look like capri pants on actual tall people? She can also wear a normal shirt without it looking like a 3/4 sleeve shirt. I let her have her delusion, but really, if you can find clothes in an average department store, you've not suffered the difficulties of really searching for tall clothes! Don't get me wrong, I love my height, but clothes shopping is so annoying! It's always online, and then you hope and hope that when it gets here it will actually fit, or it's back to UPS again!