I'm just wondering if something is wrong with me because I really don't like going to parties. I end up talking to a lot of people about a bunch of insignificant things that I don't even care about just to keep the conversation going. It feels like a lot of hard work and there's food that I have little control over.
I have friends who I adore and see on a regular basis but at a party, I'm kind of lost and miserable.
How do I just not go? People are so intent on having my husband and I attend and he hates it even more than I do.
We're really not antisocial...just antiparty. Any advice? Anyone feel the same? Just wondering.
You're not alone! I don't like being in big groups of people for a long time, it just kinda wears me out. Also, I loathe small talk. Seriously, I hate it. I can be polite & carry on a conversation but I'd much rather just be with friends that I know well & know I have common interests with. I've had to make appearances at social events lately, mostly weddings, but I tend to stay near my close friends or family members & we're not above bailing out early if necessary
my DH is reallyyyy antisocial and just, over the years, refused to go to so many functions that no one really expects him to show up anymore...you could always go that route
I don't like parties either because of the food, because i'm shy, because I don't know people there, lots of reasons....but I go to most of the social invites because my kids want to go or we're obligated to show up because it's an extended-friends-family setting....I try to sit away from the food and be sociable until I can reasonably leave LOL
I always thought I was the only one that hated parties. They are very tiring and I don't find meeting new people and making small talk with them all that interesting. I'd much rather hang out and have a good time with a couple of friends. But the problem is that some people expect their friends to go to parties with them and get offended if they don't.
Just let people know the party life is not for you. They wont be mad. My fiance and I throw parties once in a while but I think they are different then what you mean. Ours are kind of like a college party? Lots of booze tons or people loud music and the next morning we hate the cleanup. Kitchen is basically a brewery ha
I like smaller gatherings but I do love an opportunity to dress up. Essentially it depends on what type of party it is. I like sophisticated parties with good food and wine. I don't like the beer pong and loud music type of parties and will do anything to avoid going to something where people are drunk. My friends and I do dinner parties all the time and I love it, I host several here at my house. We're doing a pig roast at the end of the month. I seem to get invited to a lot of wine bars as well although haven't had too much opportunity to go it seems.
Small get togethers are fine with me, but I hate large parties. I'm sure this comes from memories of holiday events. Both my parents are from families of 6 kids, so any family event was huge, and a lot of the time they were over at our house. Once I became a teenager, me and my cousins would hole up in my room.
Ok, so I'm not alone! I feel obligated to go because people seem to get offended if I don't. I just need to turn them down more often than not. Last night, I feel like I was kind of tricked into it....hehehehe. I met a woman through my older son's school and she said she was having a few couples over and would absolutely LOVE for us to come. I felt that would be manageable. Turns out there were maybe about 25 couples and a whole bunch of small talk. Tons of food too. I had maybe a 1/4 cup of white wine, lots of water and I ate about 700 calories worth of food (total wild guess). I then came home completely exhausted from the experience and with an urge to binge. Thank goodness I resisted the binge and had a mango and a string cheese. I also ate less earlier in the day because I had a feeling there would be lots of temptations so overall, I'm proud of myself but next time, I'm just NOT going!
I hate going to parties too. When I was in my company's management development program they gave me a personality test and I scored high as an introvert ( I was also told I didn't fit their management profile). A few times a year I have to go to company meetings and they always involve at least 2 evenings out at either a team building event (like dinner and bowling) or at a nice restaurant with an open bar. Usually we go together on a bus so it is difficult to leave early and go back to the hotel. I am absolutely miserable at these events. I sort of have to attend because it's work related. Last time I couldn't stand it any more and I took a cab back to the hotel half way through one of these evenings and everybody noticed I'd left because I won the "prize" for having the lowest bowling score. Fortunately I'm not looking to get ahead in this organization - my career goal right now is to remain employed for the next 2 years and then retire.
I don't like going to parties. I find small talk insufferable. I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) and don't like a lot of overstimulation. I'm pretty up front about it and just be honest when I'm invited and say "it's not my thing, I get really uncomfortable in those situations".
If I do have to go to party, I make sure I tell the host I will only be there for a short period of time. Then, if I am comfortable at the party I can always stay longer.
Last edited by BreathingSpace; 06-10-2013 at 01:12 PM.
I don't like going to parties. I find small talk insufferable. I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) and don't like a lot of overstimulation. I'm pretty up front about it and just be honest when I'm invited and say "it's not my thing, I get really uncomfortable in those situations".
If I do have to go to party, I make sure I tell the host I will only be there for a short period of time. Then, if I am comfortable at the party I can always stay longer.
What is HSP beyond what you describe? The way you wrote it it sounds like a diagnosis rather than a personality trait. Don't mean to pry, just genuinely curious.
Am I the only one who hates parties?
