Faith Based Support Groups - Confession and Apology
06-07-2013, 06:35 PM
Oh well, I'll just get straight to the point. Today I realized that I've been guilty of being judgmental of some of the posters on 3FC concerning the area of measuring food portions, and I want to apologize to them for being so ignorant and immature. I'm going to be honest; I've always thought that weighing and measuring food and beverages was a bit compulsive and obsessive. I turned up my nose at it, and I was wrong on all counts. I was wrong because measuring your food portions is not a sign of mental instability:D, and I was wrong because holding yourself accountable for your daily food intake is a good way to lose the excess pounds and to get healthy. But of course, as I turned up my nose at the folk who were weighing and measuring, my weight has steadily moved up on the scale.
However, my expanding waistline wasn't the smoking gun that showed me the error of my ways. Believe it or not, caring for my flower garden brought about this epiphany for me. This morning as I was measuring out the correct amount of water soluble fertilizer and fish emulsion per parts of water for my finicky yet beautiful plants, it hit me...Why am I measuring fertilizer and supplements, etc. for these plants, yet I "poo-poo" the mere thought of food measuring, supplementing, and meal planning for myself? I love my plants, which is why I put in so much effort to make sure they're healthy. The question is, "Do I love my plants more than I love myself?" All of the evidence would point to the following answer, "Yes, I do love the plants more than I love myself." After all, they're healthy, and I'm not. We both have the same caregiver--me."
This nearly knocked me off my feet. I love the plants more. I have a higher regard for them. So the food "measurers" and "weighers" are not fanatical and overly controlling. They care about themselves, which is something that I need to learn. Later on in the day, I went to the 3FC forum to see what I could find on the topic of self-love because quite frankly I didn't even know where to start. I was blessed to have found a great thread by Justwant2BHealthy AKA Rosebud. Her insights are helping me to make sense of a lot of things. If you're like me and you have trouble loving yourself, check out her thread:
It's quite an eyeopener.
06-07-2013, 07:03 PM
Wow! Grace filled moments of illumination! You are on the path moving forward! Blessing to you~
06-07-2013, 07:10 PM
You are awesome.
06-07-2013, 08:12 PM
In my past attempts at wait loss I too poo-pooed weighing & measuring. This time around I weigh or measure EVERYTHING!
06-09-2013, 11:11 PM
Thank you for sharing the beautiful thread by Rosebud. I enjoyed reading it so much!
06-10-2013, 02:04 PM
I hear ya, I've been that way too. Now I'm more able to think, well, I may not choose to do that myself, or at least not right now, but I can see where it has its merits.
Sometimes a lot depends upon the context where we first encountered the idea of something. With regard to weighing and measuring, I encountered it during my stints in Overeaters Anonymous many years ago, where it and other practices were presented in a very strict manner that felt controlling and judgmental to me.
I finally, after much agonizing and talking with a counselor I was seeing, dropped out of OA permanently and got the residue of guilt voices out of my head. And now I understand that there are folks who really like OA for its structure or at least are able to make it work for them. Even when I was still a member of the organization, I knew there were some who were easier to take than others, but even the ones I found obnoxious I realize I need to forgive because they were just trying to do the best they could at the time.
We are individuals, and our diet needs change over time. I think God wants us to keep striving to be healthy and to be thankful He made us and wants to help us keep going in a positive direction. So now you have had a cool epiphany into how measuring foods can be a really helpful thing for you. :bravo: May you have much success with your newfound helpful tool! :cp:
06-10-2013, 02:18 PM
Oh well, I'll just get straight to the point. Today I realized that I've been guilty of being judgmental of some of the posters on 3FC concerning the area of measuring food portions, and I want to apologize to them for being so ignorant and immature. I'm going to be honest; I've always thought that weighing and measuring food and beverages was a bit compulsive and obsessive. I turned up my nose at it, and I was wrong on all counts. I was wrong because measuring your food portions is not a sign of mental instability:D,
I've saw this thread yesterday, but kept getting stuck at mental instability.
I at first thought that was a harsh assessment of meal watchers, but then realized that I myself don't take calorie counting/meal proportioning to seriously.
Looks like I might need to do my own research into this subject to see if it would work for me.
06-11-2013, 02:26 PM
Yes Ijustcant, I know my use of "mental instability" sounds very harsh, but you interpreted my use of the phrase correctly. I was being very harsh and judgmental toward folk who measured and weighed their food, and I'm not proud of it. I really did think that they were being too rigid, obsessive, and beyond Type A. However, I have discovered that I was as wrong as a three dollar bill. These folk are just trying to take good care of themselves in a responsible way.
SkinnyMinnie, I joined OA some years ago, and I didn't get much out of it. However, it may have just been my state of mind at the time. I know that OA isn't for everybody, but I may try it again to see if a "more mature version of me" could make better use of it. Measuring and weighing food isn't for everybody. But for immature food addicts like me, it's a good place to start to teach accountability and self-love. My "ah-ha' moment made me realize that I take better care of my plants than I do myself. I needed to pay attention to food and beverage serving sizes if I was to ever achieve good health and a healthy weight. Because of my immature attitude about food, I must learn to parent myself (measuring the quantity and controlling the portions) just like I parent my beautiful plants when I measure out their water, supplements, and fertilizer. I must care for myself with that same kind of love and commitment. I've stopped judging because being a food addict is very hard. You can't abstain from food like an alcoholic or a drug addict abstains from their substances. You must eat to live. When you are a food addict and you're faced with food every day, some hard choices must be made (to overeat or to not). If you are an immature food addict who is in denial (that was me), having a more structured daily meal plan is needed. I need boundaries; no matter how much I hate them. I've got to do the "grown-up" thing and control the quantity and the quality of my food. Incidentally, I think that people who can stop eating when they are full and who don't use food for something other than fuel for their bodies are so fortunate and blessed. I know that that's not my situation, so I must face my reality and do what I can to correct my attitude and my behavior.
Thanks to everybody who has responded. I need the encouragement; I need to stay on the right path.
06-11-2013, 09:10 PM
Melissa thank you for sharing, you hit the fact of the matter with me, not with just me but others too. Thank you so much!
06-13-2013, 01:32 PM
Thanks Bootsie. Right now, I'm just so grateful to God that He has sent you guys to me to help me figure things out. I've been confused and frustrated for such a long time. Clarity and new revelations are blessings. I'm praying that we all continue to trust in the Lord and to stay on this journey towards our goals and our real purpose in life.
I love your "Sometimes we gotta do" quote. It speaks volumes to me at this particular time in my life.
09-04-2013, 12:04 PM
awesome post gamechanger- thanks for sharing- off to explore more threads here on 3FC from my Sisters in Christ :)
09-04-2013, 02:07 PM
I was blessed to have found a great thread by Justwant2BHealthy AKA Rosebud. Her insights are helping me to make sense of a lot of things. If you're like me and you have trouble loving yourself, check out her thread: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/faith-based-support-groups/fait...-how-heal.html
It's quite an eyeopener.
THANKS, GAMECHANGER -- I am so glad that you find it helpful. It comes from my own experience, of course. I am still growing in this area, but I have found the tips there helpful for myself as well. It was well worth posting; and it is so encouraging to me to know that it is helpful to others too ... :hug: