Depression and Weight Issues - June chat

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06-01-2013, 08:35 PM
Hello ladies. How is everyone?

I can't believe it is June already. It is time to chat so bring your thought and vents here.

06-01-2013, 08:42 PM
Well, I hurt my right hip the other day and it was really paining me so I made a Dr's appt. She sent me for an x-ray and they called me a couple of days later.

They preceded to tell me a really really long word, actually it was about 4 words to tell me what I had wrong with my hip. Finally, he said, you are bone on bone in that hip. sigh I am scheduled to see a orthopedist in early July.

I am going to go back to walking at the gym, even though they called off physical therapy for me. I will just take pain meds before I walk.

What is going on with everyone else?

06-01-2013, 09:27 PM
Thanks for starting the June Chat ohiofreespirit! I can't believe it's June already :)

Sorry to hear about your hip. Sounds like your cartilage is gone, since you're now bone-on-bone. I would recommend swimming - my mom has a similar issue with her knees, and swimming is great cardio, low-impact. Just a thought. Glad to hear that you're still motivated to exercise!

So, I've done 3 workouts this weekend, and today we cleaned the entire apartment. In other words, I smell like cleaner, lol. I'm a bit achy in my muscles, but I'm devising a plan to get back on track.

I'm so all or none that it bugs me at times. It's like I either work out, eat healthy, and lower my stress level, or be lazy, eat like sH$t, and embrace my stress. Anyone else go through the same thing?

06-01-2013, 11:11 PM
:hug: Ohiofreespirit,

Thank you for starting the thread this month! :D I hope that you can get some treatment for your hip. I have issues with thinning cartilage in my knee, and it can be painful at times. Good luck with everything.

Hi Coffeeshopgirl,

:carrot: Yay for you on working out!! That rocks, way to go! I hear ya on being all or nothing with the eating, exercising and stress management. At times my life is severely up or down, with a lot of fluctuations and not as much balance as I would like. I have never coped well with stress, I hear ya on that definitely. :hug:

I am doing pretty well tonight. I am sunburnt! :sunny: I was at my friend's pool with her and some of her family and I applied sunblock but it obviously didn't do much good. I had a lot of fun though and I enjoyed showing one of the little girls how to swim, that was really cool. :cool:

Today was a good day overall. I got to speak with a close family member and we had a good chat. I will be seeing him soon when I visit my family in a few weeks. It is hard to believe that it's June already, crazy!

Last night, I was really annoyed that Vonage, my phone company called me around 12:30 am, past midnight!!! :mad: At first I actually did not recognize the phone number so I called the police because I was a bit scared, Vonage called me twice and it was almost 1 am. I called Vonage and they couldn't trace the call as to who called, so ridiculous! So, I got very angry with them and I am seriously considering switching to a different landline phone provider, I do not get very good phone service here with them. When I did call Vonage back to explain my frustrations, the individual said that only sales representatives would be calling me, no one from any other department would be calling. They should know better than to call at almost 1 am. A few days ago, a tech support person from their company said I have a "intermittent internet connection" and my internet is through Comcast. I spent over an hour explaining this to Comcast which wasn't that effective, it is complicated, I have a lot of devices hooked up to what I call a "loop" where there are numerous wires and devices involved. The Comcast tech thinks that my network device "loop" is affecting my connection with Vonage and I may as well switch back to Comcast or some other carrier, sigh.

Well, I am going to go rub my aloe vera gel on my sunburn and get ready for bed. I am tired. I think I will go to church tomorrow. I haven't been for quite some time and I miss it. After that I will do laundry.

Take care everyone!


06-01-2013, 11:38 PM
Sorry I fell off the grid for a while. I've been doing an intensive out patient program and it takes a lot out of me. My last day is Monday, so back to the real world after that. My meds seem to have stabilized so I'm feeling ok. I found a new therapist, and I see her on Thursday. I hope it goes well. I'm going to tell her up front that I'm not into the whole spirituality thing and that I'm an atheist. I found on her FB page a bunch of things about how through God everything is possible, and I'm seriously not down with that. I kinda wish I would've seen that first before making the appointment. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.

I also signed up for the ASPF Out of Darkness suicide prevention walk. It's in October and it's 3 miles long. So I gotta start training now, so hopefully I'll be able to do 3 miles by then.

Hope everyone had a good Saturday. I was stuck doing work. I did run to the thrift store though and got 3 pairs of pants and 5 shirts for $25. So I think I did pretty good.

06-02-2013, 11:12 AM
Hi Moreta - Good to see you again :) Glad to hear that your meds have been stabilizing and that you're almost finished with the out patient program. Hopefully with your new therapist, God/spirituality is her driving force, and not something that she pushes into her patients. I agree with you, if you're not getting a good vibe after the first session, then look for someone who's a better fit. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Seabiscuit - How spooky getting that phone call at 1am! Hopefully Vonage will fix it, but yeah I would def be looking into other carriers. Sorry you're sunburned, but glad to hear that you got out to the pool and got to hang out with friends and family. Hope you have a good Sunday!

As for me, I'm just waiting for the husband to wake up and then hopefully we will go for a bike ride. Right now I need some coffee and breakfast, so off I go.

06-02-2013, 06:59 PM
Hello everyone. I'm sitting here with the breeze coming in on my face. It's so nice. What a nice day it has been.

I've been practicing my crochet. Jennifer wants a beret. I have no clue how to make a beret, even with the directions. lol I have been practicing half-double crochet, which the directions for the beret call for. I am getting pretty good at. Now I need to learn how to work in the round. ack

I am kinda bored right now. I need to find something else to do.

I have been worrying about what the Dr is going to say about my hip. I know there is no use in worrying but I can't help it. I tend to be a worrier.

I hope you all have a great Sunday evening.

06-02-2013, 07:02 PM
Hi Moreta,

It's great to see you again! I hope you are feeling better. Regarding the therapist, I would be completely up front with her and honest as to how you feel, maybe even in the beginning. That way, you can voice how you feel and then sense whether or not she is going to work for you as a therapist or not. Good luck with that. It's great that your medicines are becoming stabilized. :cool:

Hi Coffeeshopgirl,

Thanks, yes, it was bizarre getting that phone call so early! I am definitely considering switching landline phone carriers.

Did you have a nice bike ride? I like to bike also, I have to get a cap for my bike's tire.

Take care. :)

As for me, I am doing so-so. Today I didn't feel very well because of my sunburn. I finally ate some food and slept a lot which allowed me to feel better. I still feel fatigued and I have to do laundry, sigh. I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow. I am also irritated, I was going to do grocery shopping from home, where they would deliver and I had so much difficulty with this supermarket's website, so frustrating. I have been more angry lately, I don't know why. I wonder if it is partially due to my Topamax being reduced somewhat??

Take care everyone.

06-02-2013, 09:16 PM
hi ohio - My mom does crochet, and she's made a bunch of blankets and slippers for us throughout the years. I'm sure the beret will come together. What color are you making it? Also, i would certainly be worried (conscious) of the issue with your hip; after all, it's your body. And I know what you mean about the boredom - I've been feeling similar as of late.

seabiscuit - Sorry to hear that you're feeling angry. You have really good coping mechanisms though, so I wish you all the best in working through it. Also, sounds like you had quite the sunburn - glad to hear you're eating and sleeping a bit more comfortably now.

Unfortunately, no bike ride today either. Too much cleaning (although still calorie burning, lol) and the weather just wasn't in our favor. We did take a motorcycle ride to see the new Star Trek movie, which was really good in my opinion.

For this upcoming week, I'm going to try two things: (1) work out 30 minutes every day Mon-Fri and (2) do one chore each day after work. Hopefully, this will give me something to do in the evenings rather than binge eat and free up our weekends for bike rides and picnics. I made it 3 days (of the 4 day week)
last week of working out, so I'm hoping that I can make it through a 5 day week.

Wish me luck!

06-03-2013, 09:26 PM
Hi coffeeshopgirl,

How are you? I hope that you are having a good day.

I am angry and frustrated. I got my most recent blood work results and my hemoglobin dropped significantly, I am iron deficient anemic, and I don't know why! :mad: I am angry at life, also frustrated that my iron levels are lower than they were a month ago, and I am so ticked off right now!! :mad: I am also angry with my hematologist whose office didn't call me to let me know about the blood test results!! Wow, I am really annoyed. I am going to call a doctor in the city tomorrow to see if I can go to a better doctor, not one who shows me videos of his kids!

I am really upset, I just want to scream.

Sorry I am in such a pissed off mood.

06-03-2013, 10:56 PM
Hi coffeeshopgirl,

How are you? I hope that you are having a good day.

I am angry and frustrated. I got my most recent blood work results and my hemoglobin dropped significantly, I am iron deficient anemic, and I don't know why! :mad: I am angry at life, also frustrated that my iron levels are lower than they were a month ago, and I am so ticked off right now!! :mad: I am also angry with my hematologist whose office didn't call me to let me know about the blood test results!! Wow, I am really annoyed. I am going to call a doctor in the city tomorrow to see if I can go to a better doctor, not one who shows me videos of his kids!

I am really upset, I just want to scream.

Sorry I am in such a pissed off mood.

Hey Seabiscuit :hug: i am sorry that you received disappointing news and that you're feeling so annoyed. I hope it doesn't disturb your sleep tonight, and that you can contact a doctor you feel confident with!

Coffeeshopgirl - congrats on cleaning the whole apartment ( a few days ago) and I like your resolve to try to do a chore each evening. That would be very sensible! Oh and for the 30 minutes of exercise per day. Hey have I asked what kind of motorcycle you guys have? I really liked the last new Star Trek movie.

Moreta - hi!! it is good to hear from you. I sure hope that the therapist can keep her strong religious thoughts separate from work. Really good that it seems your meds have stabilized.

ohio - thank you for starting the June thread :) So very sorry to hear of your hip diagnosis :( I hope you're not in too much pain.
I have all confidence that you can turn out a kewl beret for your daughter :cool: My husband does the website for an online yarn outlet, I wish I liked knitting or crocheting because I would SCORE with all kinds of stuff. Wish I could give you some!
Hey I am still looking for some white jeans to be like you :)

Well I don't want to rub it in but I am feeling so good, but I always do at this time of year. It is beautiful outside, I take such good care of our lawn and flowers and it shows and i take pride in that :cool: I love riding to the summer job on the motorcycle so much. I love doing laundry and hanging it outside! Just everything is better.

06-05-2013, 02:17 AM
Hi everyone, I have about 5 minutes until my Seroquel turns me into a zombie! I had a bad binge today but I'm trying not to beat myself up too badly. Tomorrow is another day, right ?

06-05-2013, 11:50 PM

I am sorry that I was in such a negative mood the other day.

Holly- Thank you for your support! I did make an appointment with a different hematologist for another opinion and I see him soon.

How have you been doing?

PudgyFlamingo- I know the feeling about Seroquel. I used to take it and when I did, I felt exhausted at times from it. How are things with you?

Things are a bit better tonight. I went to my local tennis court and hit a few tennis balls, which felt great, it got out some pent up frustration! :cool: I've had some good conversations with family and friends, which has been good for the most part. I did have one experience with a family member which has been upsetting but I am hoping that will be resolved soon.

Tonight, I called a prospective employer and I had a good conversation with the manager there. I am planning to stop into their workplace on Friday and I will out an application then!

Have a good night everyone.

06-06-2013, 12:34 AM
Seabiscuit - hitting balls is great! Brfore I gained weight I also thought kickboxing would be good for anger. I am also looking for a job and it's really incredibly frustrating. Keep on trying though, and you will find something!

I am feeling down tonight. Today I had the pins removed from my hand and found out that the surgery didn't work out so well. Turns out it was a really complex break to fix, especially the fracture in the joint of my pinkie. I have absolutely NO range of movement in my pinkie at all. I cant make a fist without the pinkie sticking straight out. I have to learn to use the hand again, but the pinkie is useless and I keep dropping things because I am used to being able to grip with it. Now I have to decide between learning to live with relatively no motion in my pinkie or having a second surgery that might not make anything any better. I am terrified of surgery and so I am leaning toward the first option, but on the other hand I am 30 and I'm going to be stuck with a less functional hand for awhile. *sigh* i'm stressed and depressed and all I want is comfort food.

06-07-2013, 08:01 PM
I've been hurting a lot the past couple days. I saw my back dr and he changed my muscle relaxer Zanaflex, but wouldn't change anything else, and now i don't see him for 2 months. :mad: I am so pissed. The muscle relaxer is working, but now I can feel all my other pain. He was going to up my gabapentin, but he only wanted to do one thing at a time. I hate drs sometimes.

I saw my new therapist on Thursday, and I think we got along well. The session was an hour and a half long. I didn't know I had that much to talk about, and I only got about 80% done. I see her again next thurs.

My mood has been ok. My husband is going to a comic book convention tomorrow and I'm bummed that I'm not going, but my back can't handle walking around that much and standing in lines.

06-07-2013, 11:32 PM
Hi Pudgy Flamingo-

I hope you feel stronger. I understand the feeling of wanting comfort food, I actually gave into that feeling today, sigh. :hug: Take good care of yourself. I hope that you can find some other positive ways to cope.

Hi Moreta-

I hope things improve for you. I take generic Zanaflex every night for my Fibromyalgia. I like it because it seems to work. Can you talk to your doctor next time about your feelings and try to explain how you feel? Is there any way you can leave a message for his office?

That's great that you like your new therapist. I understand what you are saying, some days I feel like I have so much to talk about too.

I am doing okay. I am exhausted though, I don't know if it is my anemia, fibromyalgia or the combination along with the dreary, rainy weather. I slept a lot when I got home and I am frustrated because I have been so tired. I get another opinion regarding my anemia in a few weeks. I did have an interview today and that went well, I will hear back within a few days as to whether or not I get it.

Take care everyone ;)

06-09-2013, 11:04 AM
Hello ladies,

I hope you all are doing well.

I am struggling. My neck, upper back and right shoulder are hurting me. I went the chiropractor on Friday. Yesterday I went the ER, I was in such pain. They put me on muscle relaxers and steroids. I am due to go back to the chiropractor tomorrow but I don't know if I will have the money. I need to call them and talk to them before my appt. The meds seem to be helping a little bit.

I am sorry I haven't been here to keep up with everyone. I am not a very good friend, I'm afraid.

My hip is doing just fine.

Jennifer is home from Colorado, she went to comic con there in Denver and had a really fun time.

I promise to check in more often.

06-09-2013, 10:09 PM
:hug: Ohiofreespirit,

I think you are a great friend! I know that you are going through a lot right now, don't feel obligated to check in more than you have time for. We are here for you!

I am sorry you are going through so much right now. Take good care and take it easy. :hug:

Today was a good day. I saw some friends and I had fun with them, I enjoyed teaching a boy how to swim the front crawl. :cool: I want to swim more often, I just had been feeling tired lately and a bit overwhelmed. Tomorrow, I have a tennis lesson, that should be fun! :carrot: I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I had a local interview recently so I should hear back from the company soon, I am hoping for the best. Even if I don't get the position, at least I know that I tried.

Take care everyone.

06-10-2013, 08:17 AM
Ohio - I'm so sorry you were in such pain :( :( I hope you are better now! :hug: and you are a GREAT friend here :)

Seabiscuit, have fun with your tennis lesson today and best wishes on the results of the interview :carrot:

Hi :wave: to everyone else

06-10-2013, 11:04 AM
Hi Holly,

How are you doing? It's great to see you! ;)

Thanks for the good luck on my tennis lesson and the results of my interview. I didn't get much sleep last night, I am not sure why because I was definitely tired, yawn.

Well, I hope everyone has a great day! :)

Take care.

06-10-2013, 11:11 AM
oops, it looks like I was posting twice, sorry!

06-12-2013, 10:51 PM
Hi everyone,

Sorry it's been a while since I posted. I had some very bad news over the weekend - a very close death in the family. So, the husband and I are handling those arrangements. Needless to say, it hasn't been a good week.

In other news, I'm just going to admit that I'm back to binge eating almost every night. I'm kinda depressed about it, simply because I know it feels good when I'm overeating. It's really that simple.

I guess I'm just really bogged down right now. Still, thought I would check in and say hello.

Hope all is well :)

06-13-2013, 03:35 PM
:hug: Coffeeshopgirl :hug:

I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. My condolences to you and your family. I hope that you can find a way to take care of yourself without food.

I am doing okay, I have been really tired lately though. My stomach has been bothering me, I don't know why. I am glad that I will be away with my family for a few days in July, I am really looking forward to that.

Later today, I see my psychiatrist, I'll see how that goes, hopefully okay.

Take care.

06-15-2013, 07:38 AM
coffeeshopgirl :( :hug: :hug: i am so sorry to hear what you have to go through, strength to you!

06-15-2013, 12:45 PM
coffeeshopgirl, i'm sorry for your loss. :hug::hug:

I've been doing ok. Been kinda paranoid though. Mostly about stupid stuff. Like getting hit by a car when I go get the mail or getting shot at while I'm outside smoking....

On the therapy front, I'm really comfortable with my new therapist. Not sure quite why. It might be the fact that I just feel the need to tell someone everything...idk. But so far, so good.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

06-15-2013, 08:08 PM
Thanks everyone for the kind words. Each day is another step of healing, ya know?

We found out that the health problem she had was aggravated by obesity. If the experience has done anything, it's encouraged me and my husband to LOSE THE WEIGHT. I come here most days and complain and plan about stopping the binge eating and plan to exercise more. You know - I just have to do it. Just do it. Do it or don't do it. It's up to me.

And I want my family to be healthy.

We've been going for after dinner walks and this morning we went for a bike ride. I still have trouble controlling my night eating, but I know that my metabolism is revved up from exercise so I'm being slightly patient with myself. TOM doesn't help either, lol.

Seabiscuit - How did your appointment go today? Is your stomach feeling better?

Moreta - Glad you're feeling comfortable with your new therapist. It's good to talk it out, and I'm glad you're building a good support system with this person.

VTMom - Have you been having good biking weather over there? We've done a few motorcycle rides lately - I think it helps clear the husband's head.

06-15-2013, 08:31 PM
Hello everyone. Coffeeshopgirl, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I too am struggling here. I feel so down. I feel like everything is getting to me. I am so tired, I just want to sleep all the time. I've lost my driver's license and I can't figure out where in the world it would be? It is really bothering me.

i'm going to go get some rest, maybe a good night's sleep will do me good?

06-15-2013, 10:59 PM
Hi there-

Holly, How are you doing?

Moreta, It's great to see you. That's great that you like your new therapist, that's wonderful news.

Coffeeshopgirl, It sounds like you are feeling a little better. I am glad that you aren't as depressed, I hope that you continue to feel stronger.

Ohiofreespirit, I understand what you are saying about wanting to sleep all the time. I have been exhausted lately and it feels like I can't get enough sleep. Take care.

I am doing okay, just extremely tired and I am not sure as to why I have been so exhausted lately. I am seeing a different hematologist a week from Wednesday. He is the head of the department of hematology at a major hospital and I hope that I can get a good opinion from him. I feel frustrated with my current hematologist so I hope that I will like this doctor.

I feel frustrated because it seems like I have medical appointments a lot of the time and after awhile it gets old. I want to improve my health yet I am still drawn to some of the unhealthy foods, I can feel myself slipping lately. I am not sure that following a specific diet is what is right for me, I have tried so many diets that I have lost count. I don't know what my approach will be next.

This next weekend I am going to see family and perhaps a friend, then after that I am going to see family again about a week or two later for a few days on a little mini vacation. :cool:

Tomorrow, I am going to hang out with a friend and her dog. That should be fun! I am going to go to bed pretty soon, take care everyone.

06-17-2013, 08:53 PM
Hello everyone. I am feeling a little bit better today, not so exhausted.

I am trying to learn half-double crochet and well, I've not having much success. :( YouTube is a tricky place to try and learn from. I am not giving up though.

I still haven't found my license.:(

Not much going on here but work. I'm all work and no play.

06-17-2013, 11:02 PM
I was laid off at the end of April. I've been unemployed since then. I can't seem to get anyone to bite, for one reason or another, so I just keep tossing out resumes.

Besides the financial strain this causes - student loans, rent, utilities, car inspection, gas, food, etc. - it's also making me feel afraid to return to work. I feel rusty.

I also feel like the weak link in my relationship. My boyfriend is doing pretty well. He wants to move in with me but any place we try wants a certain income level that he's just short of. If I had even a part time job, we'd be fine. He can pay the rent and whatnot, we wouldn't apply if we couldn't, but these places want several thousand above what he's currently making on his internship. After he gets a full time job, we'll be fine but I hate that it's my lack of income that cuts us off at the knees.

I'm also afraid that I've missed a loan somewhere and that I'll get in trouble. All of this is so overwhelming, I wish something would go right. :( I have an interview tomorrow for a part time job in my field but I'm afraid I'll mess it up...

06-18-2013, 06:09 AM
lovedancelive - you sound like a very sensible person and please don't consider yourself a weak link!! you did not chose to be laid off! that was a sucky curve ball life threw ... best wishes for the interview! oh and did you discover the possible missing loan? we know that it's best to even try a little payment or some kind of contact to let them know you're aware and trying.

coffeeshopgirl - yay for doing after dinner walks! and isnt' it sad that possibly the death could have been avoided , due to obesity. Very glad you are coping. We have had a LOT of rain, above average, which has cut down on my motorcycling to work but hopefully it will dry out a bit soon.

Ohio, Hi :wave: did your license turn up ? And you are clever to be able to crochet and try to learn more advance work via utube!

Hi Seabiscuit :hug: I am sorry you're so exhausted, hope you can get some answers. How was hanging with your friend and dog? :cool:

I am feeling..I guess anxious . Strange because its kind of new to me. I guess I can describe as just worrying over and over about things that really aren't that big a deal? but feel overwhelming when put altogether. Car needs inspection by the end of the month but I don't want to find out that something horrible and expensive is wrong, so I put off making the appointment. I know my motorcycle needs front brakes and a front tire but have put off making appt for that because of time. We have friends coming on july 5 and I HAVE to make the house more presentable but its overwhelming. ANd I'm five pounds heavier than I thought, (155 yesterday) so that makes me ten pounds more than I should be; my every waking thought is my weight and appearance yet I still cannot stick to good eating. But I workout out every day I guess thats my saving grace.

06-18-2013, 01:30 PM
I was able to track down the info for all of my loans except for one so I know that two need paid while the rest are going to have to go back into deferment or whatever. But one loan's info was confusing and I couldn't find it. I finally figured out that it was cancelled for some reason. =/

Interview went okay, I'm meeting with someone else next week. I'm going to study until then, pick up any knowledge I can, maybe even take in a list of notes with ideas for them.

I still have to go to my welfare appointment and I'm quite nervous. I'm afraid of that place, it's not a nice place to go. :(

Then is my apartment showing at 5:30, which has me nervous because I'm still the financial weak link.

BUT last night my roommate and I got to talking about religion and normally, I leave those talks feeling frightened and confused; I'm Agnostic, I find it hard to stop asking questions and no one usually has any answers. But she really made me feel better, I feel some sense of calm now. Who knows, maybe I'll have an epiphany. =)

VermontMom, I understand the feeling. Maybe try making a list. That helps me sometimes, it gets my thoughts in order. Or I'll start to work on something bit by bit and it makes doing the rest easier. So maybe clean bit by bit each day, you have plenty of time! Once you start moving, it makes doing everything else seem like a piece of cake. =)

06-18-2013, 04:13 PM
I'm so all or none that it bugs me at times. It's like I either work out, eat healthy, and lower my stress level, or be lazy, eat like sH$t, and embrace my stress. Anyone else go through the same thing?

I am exactly this way!! I thought I was the only one, or that my personality was just defective. Is this a result of depression, do you think?

06-18-2013, 08:00 PM
Hello friends.

I found my license. wooooooooo It was right by the computer. lol

I have a headache tonight. I need to take something before it turns into something really bad.

I have had a good couple of days here. I am going back to school online. I am excited. It is going to put me in the poor house though. College is ridiculous, what they charge to go to school...outrageous. I am studying Graphic Arts.

I hope everyone is ok, I always keep you all in my thoughts.

I still haven't sat down and learned half-double crochet. I will though. I really will. It will not defeat me. LOL

06-20-2013, 11:34 AM
I feel like such a loser today. My back went out yesterday. I had to leave work early and go to the ER. I thought they would just give me a shot of something. They only gave me hydrocodone and a steroid pack. I was so pissed off, I just walked out of there.

I got up this morning and I was feeling a little better, so I got ready to go to therapy and halfway to the car my back seized up on me. OMG it hurt so bad. So I hobbled back into the house and called my therapist and told her I couldn't come. :( I needed to go to therapy this week. I had an interview today too, that I had to reschedule to tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be better then. Then I called off work, cause there was no way I could sit there all day.

Ugh....I wish I didn't have back problems. I also wish people would understand that I'm not a drug seeker, I just need them in times of an emergency like now.

06-23-2013, 10:11 PM
I am exactly this way!! I thought I was the only one, or that my personality was just defective. Is this a result of depression, do you think?

I think my all or none way of thinking comes from the perfectionist part of my personality. When I was younger, it was easy to work out for a summer, sports season, and lose 20 pounds and tone up. Now that I'm older, I'm tired after working all day, and I have a husband and errands to come home to. So, I think the perfectionist ideal somewhat causes depression when I can't do everything perfect that day, ya know?

The hard part is breaking out of the "I have to be perfect 100% of the time or else I may as well fail" way of thinking. It's tough! Especially when you just want to do well, and that's how I always did well - was all or none! :) I think the other aspect of this is realizing I'm getting older, and my body has limitations.

3FC has been such a support for me in realizing that little changes, accepting our dieting/workout cheats, and getting back on track right away are the way to go these days. When you get older, 100% is really just a fraction of what you have left over from the day. And, if I can give 100% for 30-60 minutes when I'm working out, then so be it. It's better than feeling like crap for earning a rest day :)

Thanks for the response Kori - I'm glad I'm not the only perfectionist out there :hug:

06-23-2013, 10:19 PM
coffeeshopgirl - yay for doing after dinner walks! and isnt' it sad that possibly the death could have been avoided , due to obesity. Very glad you are coping. We have had a LOT of rain, above average, which has cut down on my motorcycling to work but hopefully it will dry out a bit soon.

Thanks VTMom! Yeah, it was sad that her death may have been avoided, but taking care of yourself is only a choice you can make. No one can make it for you, which is something me and the hubby realized a little while ago. We had tried being each others motivational coaches, and that was a flop. We had different work schedules, and we concluded that we need to be our own drill sergeants. We will motivate each other with eating habits though - He doesn't mind that I do my insane food prep, and I trust him to portion out his meals for himself. Turns out, he likes the availability of the portioned out meals for busier days :devil:

Has the weather been nicer for you? We had a bit of rain last week, but the weekend has been great for motorcycling! We're actually getting tan too, which is impressive (we were SO pale).

06-23-2013, 10:46 PM
Hi Everyone!

Sorry I've been absent for a bit. VTMom, I can def relate to your feelings of anxiety - I've been stressing over the little things lately too. No idea why I do it either. For me, it comes and goes. I agree with lovedancelive; lists help me work through the things that have to get done.

Speaking of being up in pounds - I've been working out for the past week, and I'm up too! I figured its because I've been building muscle rather than decreasing my calories enough. Last time I was losing weight, it took me a good month of training my body to rev up my metabolism and desire less calories. Right now, my body is asking for more, so I'm giving it what it's asking for. I'm back up to 186-187 though and it's discouraging. I know it's my body building muscle, so I should just be patient and stick with it. Which means I'm going on the elliptical tonight. *joy*

Ok, time to tell you all about my food prep! I'm so proud of myself for getting back to it. I had been half-**ing it for the past few weeks, and now I'm back to prepping all three meals plus snacks! Here we go:

Food Prep
Breakfast - Homemade oatmeal bar, coffee w 2% milk
Snack - Greek yogurt w/honey
Lunch - Cole Slaw, Pasta Salad, Chicken breast + small apple
Prep work out snack - Carrot sticks, cucumbers, strawberries + hard boiled egg
Dinner - Chili loaded w veggies + watermelon

I'm back to the pre-workout snack when I get home from work. I have a system with my workouts, where I need to relax for an hour before I start my workout, but eating dinner that early makes me want to snack after my workouts. So, we'll see how this goes.

Have a good week everyone! Thanks for listening :listen:

06-24-2013, 03:27 PM
I'm getting anxious today as well. My kids want go go to the mall after school, and I KNOW we're gonna end up eating there. I'm terrified as I haven't ate out since I started losing weight. I figure I should be ok with a 6 inch veggie sub from subway, but I don't know how many calories to log for that. And what's better, whole wheat bun flat bread? I know its silly to get anxious about this but I'm trying hard to make the right decisions and plan ahead as that's what works best for me.

06-24-2013, 10:34 PM
Shyleia - i know this is 'after the fact' but I think you can see the calories on each Subway choice posted at the did you do? :)

Moreta , how is your back? :hug:

Ohio, I'm sooo glad your license turned up. And congrats on the decision to go back to school!! that is VERY brave I think. But I am chicken of any change :p

coffeeshopgirl - yay to your working out and WOW I am impressed wtih your food prep!! that is fantastic. And so kewl that your husband is on board with you too. wish mine was.
Our weather has been a crazy mixed bag! we're stuck in a pattern of warm and humid and isolated yet strong thunderstorms. I got kinda drowned on the way home today :devil: getting drenched is OK when the temps are so warm, but it is hard to see and I made it home before the lightning, thank goodness! Yay to your tan too :) My moisturizer, makeup and mineral powder all have suncreen; so my face never gets color, my DH looks like a Native American and I ride more than him! But at my age *ahem* I need all the anti-aging help I can get :p

lovedancelive how are things with you? was there another interview or was that last week..?

Hi Seabiscuit :wave: how are you?

My anxiety is ALOT better, thanks for the input and support :) When there is something I do NOT want to do, I try to recall what a good friend told me, 'JUST DO IT' because it has to be done anyway, and sometimes you are surprised that things turn out ok. And my car turned out okay!! infact I finally got my driver's window fixed and my check engine light is now off :D and it passed inspection after the work, and it was 'only' $350 instead of the possible thousand I was afraid of. Regarding my motorcycle..i will just have to schedule that. And the fact that visitors are coming and I am so ashamed of my house, well I don't know what to do about that; I bared my anxieties to DH and he didnt even respond so I have no help there. sigh. It's not a matter of just tackling a mess; it's a pile of old computers and crap and I just dont' know what to do with it.

Well I am still working out alot but eating too much and not good things, what else is new :?:

06-26-2013, 08:40 PM
VTMom - My back is a lot better, went on a 1.5 mile walk last night.

In other news, I'm 6 days late. I took a preg test this morning and it said neg, but I'm going to my GP tomorrow to get a blood test. Just want to make sure. If I am preg, I have to come off most of my meds and quit smoking....

Idk what to think. I really hope I'm not, but I kinda hope I am. Me and my husband tried for 18 months, but then we decided to take a break until I got a permanent job, which hasn't happened yet. The fertility dr said that chances were low that I would get pregnant, so we haven't been using protection. :o Oh well. Hopefully I'll get the test results back on Friday.

My husband is going down to FL for his grandfather's funeral this weekend. I was kinda mad that I couldn't go, but I called my therapist and she gave me some suggestions about what to do, since I can't go. I hate being alone, so I'm going to go spend the night with my mom Saturday night and I'm going shopping with my friend on Sunday. So hopefully I'll do ok this weekend.

06-26-2013, 08:58 PM
I just wanted to check back in with everyone. I am doing alright. My anxiety is still active every day. I use my skills to try to keep it under control, it's really hard.

I have been working a lot lately. I have 2 clients now but it is only temporary, just for a few weeks. I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for about 2 weeks now and it isn't going to stop any time soon.

I hope everyone is alright. Lots of thoughts sent your way.

06-27-2013, 07:03 PM
Hello everyone.

I went to see the orthopedist today and he said whoever read my x-rays didn't know what they were doing. My hip is not bone-on-bone. It is simple arthritis and is recommending to my Dr to put me on an arthritis medication. My hip is really bothering me right now, I am in a great deal of pain. I just took a pain pill. I will be fine pretty soon.

I have decided because Jennifer and I cannot take a "vacation" this year, I will take her to a water park sometime in July. She is going to invite some friends to go with us. Right now, the date is up in the air but it will be in July. I am excited to get away, even if it is only for a day.

I worked today and now I'm relaxing from a long day. I am going to read my book pretty soon. It is by Carl Hiaasen, called Nature Girl. It is a really good book, I am hooked.

Much love and thoughts to everyone.

06-30-2013, 06:42 PM
I guess everyone has disappeared on me lately. I hope you all are still out there???

Everything seems to be ready for me to go back to college online. Wish me luck, please. Keep me in your prayers. I am going to need them.

My weight has gone up. sigh I need a bicycle badly so I can get out and get some exercise. I lost my membership to the gym do to lack of funds. It is just so hard for me. Jennifer and I live hand to mouth, we do the best we can with the money I get but it's hard.

I hope you all are well, Jennifer and I are doing very well. Things are always tight financially but we are so very lucky. We have each other and a house, plus a car and jobs so we are always grateful.

Please, someone come talk to me.

06-30-2013, 10:05 PM
Hi Ohio! Looks like you've been manning the chat lately - thanks for keeping up on it :)

I may have missed this in a previous post, but what are you going to study in college? That's awesome that you're going back to school! I'm glad to see that you had a Dr give you a second opinion on your arthritis - looks like he pointed you in the right direction. Are you feeling any better since the visit? And, about the bicycle - have you checked out Craigslist? There's some decent stuff out there for only 40-50$. What kind of bike are you looking for? Where do you like to bike - trails, around town?

As for me, TOM is back around, and I caved and got ice cream. I'm trying to portion it out, so wish me luck. I have NO energy today, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to work out tomorrow.

Other than feeling out of energy, things are alright. Just gotta pull through the TOM.