Chicks in Control - Anyone manage to quit dieting with positive results #2




veggiedaze
06-01-2013, 01:53 PM
Well I've tried to start this new continuation thread a couple times and my internet has crashed each time. So here goes number 3!

This thread is for people to share their stories and give advice on how they've managed to give up strict dieting and find some kind of peace with food. I have taken this approach for about 2 months now, due to being tired of the food obsession and binges that were taking over my life and denying me of happiness.

It has been quite a journey for me in only 2 months. I have not binged, but have certainly done my share of overeating. I have learned however that overeating is a welcome change from bingeing. I am by no means perfect, but I guess that is the point of this thread; letting go of perfection that lead me down the dark road of an eating disorder.

I hope people will continue to use this thread to vent their struggles in letting go of the dieting mentality and provide any new insights they have discovered along their journey. For me "positive results" doesn't mean achieving a certain weight/shape/health etc., but in finding some kind of balance where one can find peace of mind without having food rule over every aspect of their life.

As for me, I just got back from vacation. The tail end was a little heavy on the social indulgences. In the past, I would have viewed it as an epic failure and would have applied some strict rules once returning home in an attempt to reign myself in. But now I see it as a huge learning experience in letting go of the guilt, not seeing things as black and white, and just doing the best I can in the moment. I am not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. I am just thinking about today and this moment. I hope to hear some new stories on this thread, and the wonderful suggestions and advice of others who have found any success in non-dieting.

How is everyone doing anyways?


SouthernMaven
06-01-2013, 02:17 PM
I hope people will continue to use this thread to vent their struggles in letting go of the dieting mentality and provide any new insights they have discovered along their journey. For me "positive results" doesn't mean achieving a certain weight/shape/health etc., but in finding some kind of balance where one can find peace of mind without having food rule over every aspect of their life.

veggiedaze - So glad you were able to start the new thread! I was beginning to worry if I had stopped it in its tracks when I suggested that you begin a second one - and that would have been a great loss. This has been one of the most informative threads on 3FC. Thank you for continuing it.

As for me, I just got back from vacation. The tail end was a little heavy on the social indulgences. In the past, I would have viewed it as an epic failure and would have applied some strict rules once returning home in an attempt to reign myself in. But now I see it as a huge learning experience in letting go of the guilt, not seeing things as black and white, and just doing the best I can in the moment. I am not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. I am just thinking about today and this moment. I hope to hear some new stories on this thread, and the wonderful suggestions and advice of others who have found any success in non-dieting.

How is everyone doing anyways?

I also went on a mini-vacation, and I promised myself that I wouldn't even think about the food I was eating. I was able to do that and did not over-indulge, although I drank far too much wine! I can relate to exactly what you're saying - In the past I would have thought "Okay, now I have to start really buckling down, counting calories, exercise X amount per day" yadayadayada. But none of that - any more. It's such a wonderful feeling of freedom.

I hope everyone will continue to share their experiences here.

veggiedaze
06-03-2013, 11:22 PM
veggiedaze - So glad you were able to start the new thread! I was beginning to worry if I had stopped it in its tracks when I suggested that you begin a second one - and that would have been a great loss. This has been one of the most informative threads on 3FC. Thank you for continuing it.



I also went on a mini-vacation, and I promised myself that I wouldn't even think about the food I was eating. I was able to do that and did not over-indulge, although I drank far too much wine! I can relate to exactly what you're saying - In the past I would have thought "Okay, now I have to start really buckling down, counting calories, exercise X amount per day" yadayadayada. But none of that - any more. It's such a wonderful feeling of freedom.

I hope everyone will continue to share their experiences here.

Yes it's true. It has been freeing not to beat myself up over my overindulgences. I definitely had my fair share of wine too. It has felt good to just be able to cook again. There is something though that is worth mentioning that really has me wondering. This morning when I went to make my usual oatmeal, I noticed I was out. I was quite upset because I just love my oatmeal so much and it put me in such a bad mood not to have it. So instead I made a big spinach omlette (I usually have a really small spinach omlette on the side of my oatmeal) and I added some other veggies. I did not have any other starchy carb source in the house. Anyways, I was worried I would not be satisfied and that I would be starving by the time my first break at work came. But to my surprise, I was not hungry at all and was actually less hungry by the time my break came. I was really surprised. I'm almost wondering if there is something to be said about starches making people more hungry. Obviously this is only one day and there could be all kinds of factors behind why I didn't feel as hungry as usual. But I'm going to give the big omlette another try tomorrow to see if the same thing happens. Quite frankly, it's quite a nice change not to be starving by the time I get to my first break, despite eating more and more food before leaving my house. I've heard other people on this forum say that eating higher glycemic starches (even starches on the lower end of the glycemic index like oatmeal, sweet potatoes, brown rice etc. as opposed to things like bread, refined cereals etc.) makes them more hungry.

Obviously I'm not willing to give up my oatmeal for good as it is one of my very favourite things, but maybe it's a good thing to avoid for me on a workday morning when I don't have the opportunity to eat again for almost 6 hours. So I guess I am doing a bit of an experiment. I am wondering though if I will as opposed to not being hungry, if I will instead start to feel lethargic and low energy without the oatmeal after a couple days. I guess I will see.

Anyone else care to chime in about this? has anyone actually timed how long they stay satiated from various types of foods? For me eating and work days is a tough thing to get right. In my job I cannot eat or snack when I'm hungry as food is strictly prohibited on the worksite for safety reasons. It is strongly enforced.


veggiedaze
06-03-2013, 11:26 PM
Also kelly, how's it going with the meds?

SouthernMaven
06-04-2013, 08:31 AM
Anyone else care to chime in about this? has anyone actually timed how long they stay satiated from various types of foods? For me eating and work days is a tough thing to get right. In my job I cannot eat or snack when I'm hungry as food is strictly prohibited on the worksite for safety reasons. It is strongly enforced.

I'm always satisfied by a very large breakfast (eggs, bacon, toast or biscuits, hash browns) so most people would probably say it's mostly the protein in all that that keeps me satiated. However, I will say that if I eat ONLY protein (eggs, bacon, & cheese) I will get hungrier a lot sooner than if I add in the bread. I am a person who, for some reason, can remain satisfied a long time on only bread. That goes against the traditional wisdom I know, but it's true for me. Give me a bagel at 9:00 am and I probably won't eat again until 5:00 pm.

Yesterday I wasn't hungry at all in the morning. Went to my knitting class from 10:30 to 12:30 and STILL had no appetite. Came home, finished up a few things and then went out again to run errands. Finally got hungry so I went to Cracker Barrel and got grilled catfish, turnip greens, fried apples and biscuits. Ate all of it except for about 1/2 of one of the biscuits. I didn't get hungry again until late last night and just had a little yogurt before bed. I can eat one big meal like that mid-afternoon and it will satisfy me for close to 24 hrs. OTOH, if I try to break it up into small meals throughout the day I'm starving all day and all night, and inevitably I end up overeating in the evening.

This is something I've always known about myself but never allowed myself to eat that way because I've always been told it's wrong. During my 20-year "thin" phase I think that's probably the way I ate, although I can't quite remember exactly how I ate during that period of time.

kellycg102
06-04-2013, 10:56 AM
Thanks for thinking of me veggiedaze:). Meds are doing ok. I am feeling better mentally for sure and it seems to helping with my food obsessiveness as well.....not sure how long that will last, but I am not thinking of food as much. I was away for a girls getaway and everyone was drinking and eating crap and I stayed on my plan and felt fine. I didn't obsess at all about the cupcakes and cans of icing around, the 10 bags of chips....the bread! I really feel so much better when I restrict my carbs, something I believe I will always have to do, but I am looking at it in a different way other than "restriction". I just feel better not eating it and I haven't had the wild feeling of wanting to binge so far. So I am hoping it will all fall into place and be able to continue eating to make me feel good and healthy, not to lose weight. I am wanting to lose a few.....am I making any sense at all lol......but I am not obsessing over like I have been. If I am hungry I have extra, if I am not hungry I wait til I am.....just really trying to prepare myself with my plans of ongoing healthy eating after I get to where I feel better with myself physically. Anyway thanks again and glad to hear you are still learning new things about yourself. I have found in the past having starchy carby stuff in the morning leaves me all day craving them.....having protein and veggies.....I just don't get that. I love oatmeal for breakfast too but I may need to rethink when I eat the carby stuff, which I think will end up being end of day.

Have a great day everyone

veggiedaze
06-05-2013, 10:24 PM
I'm always satisfied by a very large breakfast (eggs, bacon, toast or biscuits, hash browns) so most people would probably say it's mostly the protein in all that that keeps me satiated. However, I will say that if I eat ONLY protein (eggs, bacon, & cheese) I will get hungrier a lot sooner than if I add in the bread. I am a person who, for some reason, can remain satisfied a long time on only bread. That goes against the traditional wisdom I know, but it's true for me. Give me a bagel at 9:00 am and I probably won't eat again until 5:00 pm.

Yesterday I wasn't hungry at all in the morning. Went to my knitting class from 10:30 to 12:30 and STILL had no appetite. Came home, finished up a few things and then went out again to run errands. Finally got hungry so I went to Cracker Barrel and got grilled catfish, turnip greens, fried apples and biscuits. Ate all of it except for about 1/2 of one of the biscuits. I didn't get hungry again until late last night and just had a little yogurt before bed. I can eat one big meal like that mid-afternoon and it will satisfy me for close to 24 hrs. OTOH, if I try to break it up into small meals throughout the day I'm starving all day and all night, and inevitably I end up overeating in the evening.

This is something I've always known about myself but never allowed myself to eat that way because I've always been told it's wrong. During my 20-year "thin" phase I think that's probably the way I ate, although I can't quite remember exactly how I ate during that period of time.

That sounds like an awsome meal at Cracker Barrel. I wish there was one around here.

I am thinking people are probably really individual as far as carbohyrates go. I think for me they really satisfy me on a mental level; afterall the brain runs on only glucose. But I am honestly finding that when I really pay attention, I don't really get as intense physical hunger when I skip them. I do feel a bit low on energy though; like if I exercise when it's been a couple days of no starches, I feel like I'm carrying a lead ball around. But, carbs make me kind of sleepy. I just find it so interesting. I love love carbs and would never give them up. But I really think a person can gain alot of benefit from really paying attention to the effects of foods and use them to their benefit.

veggiedaze
06-05-2013, 10:38 PM
Thanks for thinking of me veggiedaze:). Meds are doing ok. I am feeling better mentally for sure and it seems to helping with my food obsessiveness as well.....not sure how long that will last, but I am not thinking of food as much. I was away for a girls getaway and everyone was drinking and eating crap and I stayed on my plan and felt fine. I didn't obsess at all about the cupcakes and cans of icing around, the 10 bags of chips....the bread! I really feel so much better when I restrict my carbs, something I believe I will always have to do, but I am looking at it in a different way other than "restriction". I just feel better not eating it and I haven't had the wild feeling of wanting to binge so far. So I am hoping it will all fall into place and be able to continue eating to make me feel good and healthy, not to lose weight. I am wanting to lose a few.....am I making any sense at all lol......but I am not obsessing over like I have been. If I am hungry I have extra, if I am not hungry I wait til I am.....just really trying to prepare myself with my plans of ongoing healthy eating after I get to where I feel better with myself physically. Anyway thanks again and glad to hear you are still learning new things about yourself. I have found in the past having starchy carby stuff in the morning leaves me all day craving them.....having protein and veggies.....I just don't get that. I love oatmeal for breakfast too but I may need to rethink when I eat the carby stuff, which I think will end up being end of day.

Have a great day everyone

Kelly that is so great that you are doing better with the food obsessiveness since starting the meds. Even if the effects wear off overtime, it is just nice to get a break from that darkness to see that it is possible to get out of it sometimes. For me, I have taken meds, had them wear off or to where I don't want the sideeffects, after which I stop them and try to go at it on my own. Then after some point if I fall back into a mental hole, I start up on them again to pull me out of the darkness. Each time I go at it on my own, I seem to go longer and do a little better. I think that when I get the boost from the meds, I learn some coping and life skills that I am able to hold onto. And it sounds like you did great with all those temptations around.

I also really think I am on the same wavelength as you when it comes to wanting to use food to make you feel better; and if you find carbs make you feel like crap and wanting more or leading to bingeing, then all the power to you to leave them out. I think I will leave them out in my morning meal before work, but I am sure I will eat them on other days, and probably eat more of them when I notice my workouts arn't as good etc. I think every stituation can call for something unique to that situation. I think that's why cookie cutter diets that have someone eating the exact same thing at specific times day after day just throws away the chance to use food in a way that is uniquely tailored to a persons day. I find myself eating "intuitively" more and more now. It is so much easier to say "yes" or "no" to specific foods when you are thinking in terms of "how will this make me feel" and "how long will this hold me over for".

kellycg102
06-06-2013, 12:37 PM
Thanks Veggiedaze, I feel soooo much better, pretty amazed actually! I have done the same as you with meds been on a couple but go off after feeling I am coping better, so I will wait and see what happens this time around. This time around was really quite scary for me, really don't ever want to feel those feelings or have the thoughts I had again. Really hoping the food thing continues, it is a huge relief like you said not having to think of the food so much too.........amazing!

Hoping I can move more towards what you are doing one day.....it finally feels like maybe it is possible for me.

freelancemomma
06-06-2013, 02:37 PM
Give me a bagel at 9:00 am and I probably won't eat again until 5:00 pm.

I wish I came from that planet.;)

F.

Pinkhippie
06-06-2013, 02:38 PM
I was just kind of roaming around in the 3FC forums when I came across this thread. It really struck a chord for me as I just re read my old book Overcoming Overeating. It's an old book that I really recommend. I also love Geneen Roths stuff. I feel like I could write a novel for my first post here but I will try to condense it down.

I have loved reading all your personal journeys, experience and wisdom on this thread. I actually got a little bit of happy tears in my eyes, Veggiedaze to see your transformation as far as how you were thinking and your realizations. I guess I am posting to share my story.

I have a bit of a unique situation from what I see so far of who has posted on this thread. I have 3 kids and I am nursing my baby almost exclusively. She doesn't eat much solid food. She nurses constantly and it makes me SO HUNGRY. I am also a stay at home mom who homeschools so I am surrounded by food, children and STRESS. Lots of stress. In fact this might be kind of choppy as I have to hop up down and tend to the needs of said children through out this post.

I also have a history of ED. I was a weird combination of bulemic anorexic as a teen ager and my early twenties. I eventually healed myself from that with an amazing book that I can't remember the name of and also Overcoming Overeating. Basically the premise was the same as what in now called intuitive eating and also included legalizing food and body acceptance. So, I did. I legalized food, I worked on accepting myself as I was and I started eating only when I was hungry and seeing it as a gift I was giving to myself. Every time I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied I saw it as an act of self love and self care. I pretty much stopped emotional eating which was a big one for me. I used to eat when I was angry or sad. I managed to stop doing that by doing just as was mentioned in the original thread, sitting with the emotion and letting it pass. I also got better at talking about my feelings. Eventually, I was one of those rare birds. I was naturally thin, I ate only when I was hungry and I ate whatever I wanted. I was passionate about how much diets didn't work and how I didn't agree with them. So, all was good until I became pregnant with my first child. I don't know if its because it threw my hunger signals off or if it was the weight gain triggering my ED but basically I couldn't lose the pregnancy weight. I did eventually lose my pregnancy weight through extreme stress when my husband and I got divorced when my first daughter was about 2. I basically just stopped eating and would only eat a few crackers to remove the gnawing sensation in my stomach. But once I was down to my pre pregnancy weight I stayed there with no trouble because I went back to eating the way I had been.

So remarried and got pregnant again eventually. As usual got into bad eating habits while pregnant (ie eating when not hungry) and after baby could NOT drop the weight. I just felt constantly hungry and was craving sweet stuff like a crazy person. I went from being the kind of person who would eat a few oreos and think they were too sweet and let the package get stale in the pantry to someone who could eat an entire package in ONE sitting. I started counting calories and exercising and keeping a food journal and I started to lose the weight very slowly. But, I never got back to prepregnancy weight. We decided to have our third and final child and I decided this time was going to be different. THIS time I would eat healthy and not gain tons of weight blah blah... RIGHT. This time I gained more weight and have stayed at a higher weight than last time. I have sucessfully dieted down to about 20 lbs this prepregnancy weight which is still 30 lbs over my ideal comfortable weight but then all my restriction kicks in and I go NUTS and overeat everything until I am back where I started.

So, all this to say that I started reading my overcoming overeating book AND came across this thread and from reading it I realized that my ED is back! I didn't realize it because I am not purging but all the same thoughts I had when I had my ED are in full force. I feel fat and hate myself and how I look after I eat, I obsess about food, I constantly go on diet after diet, I exercise like a maniac until I injure myself and can't do it anymore, foods are now GOOD or BAD. I am out of touch with my hunger signals, its like a horrible vicious cycle. I can only assume it was triggered by my natural weight gain of getting pregnant and then it keeps me from naturally losing the baby weight. So, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. I am trying to get back to eating only when I feel hungry and right now I am working on self acceptance. ( I realized I was having horrible judgmental thoughts about my appearance because it is so different than how I used to look which really just makes me want to eat MORE) I need to work on my stress eating and my "reward" eating. The eating I do when all the kids are finally in bed and its time to party. I cant wait for them to go to bed so I can have my treat. And I am working on legalizing foods. I am trying to get them back from BAD and GOOD to just FOOD. I also am working on trying not to eat when stressed out. I guess this is a big one for me.

A real lightbulb went on for me with this thread when I realized the reason I turned into a person who could eat a whole package of oreos was my restricting. ESPECIALLY while nursing! DUH. It never really occurred to me that my bingeing could be related to my restricting. I know that seems so obvious now. My body is trying to keep me and my baby healthy at any cost.

So the answer to the question: yes I managed to quit dieting with positive results and was happy and at a good weight for me for years and years. I also usually only ate about twice a day. lunch and dinner. Lunch was usually a sandwich and an apple and then dinner was dinner. I also was always very aware of my appetite fluctuations. Sometimes I was hungrier than usual and I ate more for a few days and then the next few days I wasn't as hungry and it would even out. I was a HUGE proponent of listening to my body. And now I am totally out of touch with my body and it shows. :( Anyway, thanks for this thread and to anyone who actually got through my novel.

SouthernMaven
06-08-2013, 01:03 PM
A real lightbulb went on for me with this thread when I realized the reason I turned into a person who could eat a whole package of oreos was my restricting. ESPECIALLY while nursing! DUH. It never really occurred to me that my bingeing could be related to my restricting. I know that seems so obvious now. My body is trying to keep me and my baby healthy at any cost.

So the answer to the question: yes I managed to quit dieting with positive results and was happy and at a good weight for me for years and years. I also usually only ate about twice a day. lunch and dinner. Lunch was usually a sandwich and an apple and then dinner was dinner. I also was always very aware of my appetite fluctuations. Sometimes I was hungrier than usual and I ate more for a few days and then the next few days I wasn't as hungry and it would even out. I was a HUGE proponent of listening to my body. And now I am totally out of touch with my body and it shows. :( Anyway, thanks for this thread and to anyone who actually got through my novel.

Pinkhippie, I loved reading your story! I've never read Overcoming Overeating but it is a book I've considered ordering (since it isn't available anywhere in our very large library system).

Odd that you should mention you only ate twice a day when you were at a good weight. That's pretty much my normal eating pattern when I listen to my body and follow my natural hunger cycles.

I emphasized in your post what I think is really important to remember - we are just going to be hungrier some days than others, and it's okay for us to eat more on those days. Not binge or gorge ourselves, obviously, but it's okay to take that second helping if you've really listened to your body and you know you are still hungry.

So glad you posted here. I hope you will continue to do so.

SouthernMaven
06-08-2013, 01:30 PM
I wish I came from that planet.;)

F.

LOL - I know that seems very strange and it goes against the generally accepted wisdom that "carbs beget more carbs" but that's just the way my system works.

Perhaps it is due more to the butter I have on it as opposed to the bagel itself. But the funny thing is I don't generally eat a lot of bagels; every once in a while I'll go to Einstein Bros with my daughter (who LOVES bagels!) and get a plain bagel toasted with butter. Now that probably has about 400-450 calories so it shouldn't surprise me that it fills me up, but it's a bit confusing because I can eat 2 eggs, 3 slices of bacon and a banana which has approximately the same number of calories and I'll get hungrier much more quickly. Substitute two slices of toast (again, with butter) for the banana, remove one egg, and you again have a comparable number of calories, and it will satisfy me longer than the bacon, eggs, and banana.

Odd, I know. And it may have a psychological component to it, since I have always been a big bread eater, love it, and really can't imagine not eating it. I could go the rest of my life and not eat a candy bar, ice cream, cake, or donuts. I could probably go the rest of my life and not drink wine (although I don't want to!). But if I were told that I could no longer have bread in any form I would be very depressed! :(

And if I were told I could no longer drink black coffee, well....I cannot even imagine life without my coffee! And that has NO calories!

lin43
06-08-2013, 03:15 PM
I'm always satisfied by a very large breakfast (eggs, bacon, toast or biscuits, hash browns) so most people would probably say it's mostly the protein in all that that keeps me satiated. However, I will say that if I eat ONLY protein (eggs, bacon, & cheese) I will get hungrier a lot sooner than if I add in the bread. I am a person who, for some reason, can remain satisfied a long time on only bread. That goes against the traditional wisdom I know, but it's true for me. Give me a bagel at 9:00 am and I probably won't eat again until 5:00 pm.

Yesterday I wasn't hungry at all in the morning. Went to my knitting class from 10:30 to 12:30 and STILL had no appetite. Came home, finished up a few things and then went out again to run errands. Finally got hungry so I went to Cracker Barrel and got grilled catfish, turnip greens, fried apples and biscuits. Ate all of it except for about 1/2 of one of the biscuits. I didn't get hungry again until late last night and just had a little yogurt before bed. I can eat one big meal like that mid-afternoon and it will satisfy me for close to 24 hrs. OTOH, if I try to break it up into small meals throughout the day I'm starving all day and all night, and inevitably I end up overeating in the evening.

This is something I've always known about myself but never allowed myself to eat that way because I've always been told it's wrong. During my 20-year "thin" phase I think that's probably the way I ate, although I can't quite remember exactly how I ate during that period of time.


SouthernMaven, based on reading a few of your posts, I seem to share similar food preferences as you do. For example, I, too, need carbs as part of my meal to be full/satisfied (I fare better if those carbs are combined w/ some protein and fat, too). Also, I remember you mentioning on a previous thread that you do not get hungry until late morning. It's the same with me: If I follow my hunger signals, I usually don't get hungry until around 11 or Noon. If I eat exactly what I want in the amount I want, I won't be hungry until dinner. If I were to eat a big meal in the afternoon as you just described, I would not be hungry for dinner.

I've been giving intuitive eating some thought lately, and I realize that my two biggest impediments to it are these: 1) Even if I am not physically hungry, I mentally want to eat. Today, for instance, I overate just because I wanted to, not because I was hungry. I had gotten a bagel, and I was going shopping, so I had the cream cheese and the bagel in my car. I told myself I would not eat it until I got hungry, but I ate it before I even started shopping. (ETA: Later, I ate two candy bars---a rarity, I must say, but I have been craving Twix & Snickers for some reason. Later I ate a turkey sandwich and two peaches---at no point today was I physically hungry before eating any of this). It was as if I needed to eat even though I wasn't physically hungry. I tried to think about why, and I realized that maybe it's just that I want that pleasurable feeling from tasting good food. Do you ever have this challenge? 2) I really can get in tune with my hunger signals. I can distinguish when I'm physically hungry. The problem for me is knowing when to stop eating. I remember trying IE years ago, and this was my biggest struggle then, too. I realize that I actually like to feel full---not I-feel-sick full, but [B]full/B]--as in I can feel the food in my stomach and am satisfied. That may be the sticking point for me because in order to get to that stage, I have a feeling that I have to overeat. This is probably because I eat too fast (I say this because when I eat at a fine restaurant and the courses, obviously, are spaced out, I get full MUCH more quickly on less food).

Does anyone here struggle with the above two problems? Any advice for overcoming them? Also, for those on IE, I know you probably do not regularly weigh yourself, but do any of you know whether you've gained since you stopped formally "dieting"?

veggiedaze
06-08-2013, 03:20 PM
Thanks Veggiedaze, I feel soooo much better, pretty amazed actually! I have done the same as you with meds been on a couple but go off after feeling I am coping better, so I will wait and see what happens this time around. This time around was really quite scary for me, really don't ever want to feel those feelings or have the thoughts I had again. Really hoping the food thing continues, it is a huge relief like you said not having to think of the food so much too.........amazing!

Hoping I can move more towards what you are doing one day.....it finally feels like maybe it is possible for me.

So good to read this kelly. It's just so tough the depression thing. But just escaping from time to time to be able to see things differently is so wonderful and something important to remember if brought down again. Just the memory of things being better can give great hope. As far as doing what I am doing one day is really humbling. I don't think I am doing anything too special. Just taking things day by day. It's still tough sometimes not to be pulled into the extreme dieting especially after an episode of over indulgence.

Being back at work has been good this last week to get back to my routine. Everyday I did the omlette thing for breakfast and it worked out really great. My hunger was so much less. But then I had to work a day overtime due to an environmental emergency. So I worked 60 hours in 5 days and boy was I exhausted. And that last day, although not "hungry", I did notice that draggy feeling that comes after several days of no starches. But I was by no means "planning" no starches. I wondered everyday if there would be donuts brought by someone, and had there been, I would have had one. And on my last day after work, my sister came out to visit and stayed over. She was so sad because her beloved dog was just hit by a car and killed and I feel very sad about it too. I had not had any alcohol since the vacation, and she asked me to pick her up some beer on my way home from work where she was waiting for me at my house. I said sure and decided what the heck, some wine for me was definitely called for after such a stressful workweek, and not wanting to work that extra day. So we had a couple drinks (my drinks are each worth 2 at least :)) and then of course, the hunger kicked in and not having much in the house and not wanting to cook and feeling super bad about the dog, we ordered a pizza. I had 4 pieces!! She had 2. But you know it felt really good. And again it was a good thing I think because it again reinforced the idea of being able to overeat on occasion and not having the guilt turn it into a binge. I think the overeating thing is my biggest obstacle when it comes to resisting bingeing. Had I just had 1 or 2 pieces of pizza, and just 1 glass of wine, I would have felt really in control and I doubt I'd get a binge urge. But having 4 pieces (especially when my sister just had 2), I did fight a bit with the guilt inside my head and did get binging urges. But I just sat with the discomfort; reminded myself how important it is to be able to just sit with it, and we watched some TV, talked, and then went to bed. It also helped to combat the self destructive "all or nothing", "black and white" mentality.

And today, although a bit hung over, I feel fine. I can't help but recognize the old me would have binged last night due to the guilt of eating too much pizza, and I would be feeling so much worse today. It is afternoon now, and I am just beginning to get hungry again. I'm not sure what I feel like. There is more than a whole pizza left (we ordered 2 medium pizzas- one veggie and one pepperoni) and honestly I really don't feel like it. Again this is contrary to what would happened in the past. In the past the guilt over the previous day would have me diving head first into any lefterovers (which there would likely not have been leftovers) to help numb me from guilt as well as get in on it while I could since my mind would have decided that I would have to severely restrict again. Maybe tonight I will have pizza again, maybe not. I will just decide at the time depending on what I feel like. My sister had pizza again for breakfast, and holding strong at 110 pounds. She is the queen of intuitive eating. She is still my greatest example of moderation. I am very happy she is staying a couple days at my house. I always learn so much from her.

veggiedaze
06-08-2013, 03:30 PM
I was just kind of roaming around in the 3FC forums when I came across this thread. It really struck a chord for me as I just re read my old book Overcoming Overeating. It's an old book that I really recommend. I also love Geneen Roths stuff. I feel like I could write a novel for my first post here but I will try to condense it down.

I have loved reading all your personal journeys, experience and wisdom on this thread. I actually got a little bit of happy tears in my eyes, Veggiedaze to see your transformation as far as how you were thinking and your realizations. I guess I am posting to share my story.

I have a bit of a unique situation from what I see so far of who has posted on this thread. I have 3 kids and I am nursing my baby almost exclusively. She doesn't eat much solid food. She nurses constantly and it makes me SO HUNGRY. I am also a stay at home mom who homeschools so I am surrounded by food, children and STRESS. Lots of stress. In fact this might be kind of choppy as I have to hop up down and tend to the needs of said children through out this post.

I also have a history of ED. I was a weird combination of bulemic anorexic as a teen ager and my early twenties. I eventually healed myself from that with an amazing book that I can't remember the name of and also Overcoming Overeating. Basically the premise was the same as what in now called intuitive eating and also included legalizing food and body acceptance. So, I did. I legalized food, I worked on accepting myself as I was and I started eating only when I was hungry and seeing it as a gift I was giving to myself. Every time I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied I saw it as an act of self love and self care. I pretty much stopped emotional eating which was a big one for me. I used to eat when I was angry or sad. I managed to stop doing that by doing just as was mentioned in the original thread, sitting with the emotion and letting it pass. I also got better at talking about my feelings. Eventually, I was one of those rare birds. I was naturally thin, I ate only when I was hungry and I ate whatever I wanted. I was passionate about how much diets didn't work and how I didn't agree with them. So, all was good until I became pregnant with my first child. I don't know if its because it threw my hunger signals off or if it was the weight gain triggering my ED but basically I couldn't lose the pregnancy weight. I did eventually lose my pregnancy weight through extreme stress when my husband and I got divorced when my first daughter was about 2. I basically just stopped eating and would only eat a few crackers to remove the gnawing sensation in my stomach. But once I was down to my pre pregnancy weight I stayed there with no trouble because I went back to eating the way I had been.

So remarried and got pregnant again eventually. As usual got into bad eating habits while pregnant (ie eating when not hungry) and after baby could NOT drop the weight. I just felt constantly hungry and was craving sweet stuff like a crazy person. I went from being the kind of person who would eat a few oreos and think they were too sweet and let the package get stale in the pantry to someone who could eat an entire package in ONE sitting. I started counting calories and exercising and keeping a food journal and I started to lose the weight very slowly. But, I never got back to prepregnancy weight. We decided to have our third and final child and I decided this time was going to be different. THIS time I would eat healthy and not gain tons of weight blah blah... RIGHT. This time I gained more weight and have stayed at a higher weight than last time. I have sucessfully dieted down to about 20 lbs this prepregnancy weight which is still 30 lbs over my ideal comfortable weight but then all my restriction kicks in and I go NUTS and overeat everything until I am back where I started.

So, all this to say that I started reading my overcoming overeating book AND came across this thread and from reading it I realized that my ED is back! I didn't realize it because I am not purging but all the same thoughts I had when I had my ED are in full force. I feel fat and hate myself and how I look after I eat, I obsess about food, I constantly go on diet after diet, I exercise like a maniac until I injure myself and can't do it anymore, foods are now GOOD or BAD. I am out of touch with my hunger signals, its like a horrible vicious cycle. I can only assume it was triggered by my natural weight gain of getting pregnant and then it keeps me from naturally losing the baby weight. So, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. I am trying to get back to eating only when I feel hungry and right now I am working on self acceptance. ( I realized I was having horrible judgmental thoughts about my appearance because it is so different than how I used to look which really just makes me want to eat MORE) I need to work on my stress eating and my "reward" eating. The eating I do when all the kids are finally in bed and its time to party. I cant wait for them to go to bed so I can have my treat. And I am working on legalizing foods. I am trying to get them back from BAD and GOOD to just FOOD. I also am working on trying not to eat when stressed out. I guess this is a big one for me.

A real lightbulb went on for me with this thread when I realized the reason I turned into a person who could eat a whole package of oreos was my restricting. ESPECIALLY while nursing! DUH. It never really occurred to me that my bingeing could be related to my restricting. I know that seems so obvious now. My body is trying to keep me and my baby healthy at any cost.

So the answer to the question: yes I managed to quit dieting with positive results and was happy and at a good weight for me for years and years. I also usually only ate about twice a day. lunch and dinner. Lunch was usually a sandwich and an apple and then dinner was dinner. I also was always very aware of my appetite fluctuations. Sometimes I was hungrier than usual and I ate more for a few days and then the next few days I wasn't as hungry and it would even out. I was a HUGE proponent of listening to my body. And now I am totally out of touch with my body and it shows. :( Anyway, thanks for this thread and to anyone who actually got through my novel.

WOW pinkhippie! I really enjoyed reading your story and am so happy this thread and my journey have helped you. You sound alot like me in some of your thinking, and I'm so happy to hear you have indeed had positive results with quitting dieting. As I am sure you have noticed, not dieting is and always will be a work in progress. I think the whole allure to dieting in the first place is thinking it will give us a sure thing where we will not have to worry about anything, having our preplanned diets "take care of it" kind of thing, and let us avoid having to actually make decisions spontaneously while listening to the needs of our bodies. We just don't want to put that work in and pay attention. But we lose in the long run when we try to delegate that to something other than our own instincts.

I hope you will continue to post and give feedback and give updates on how it's going and any lessons you learn along the way.

veggiedaze
06-08-2013, 03:45 PM
SouthernMaven, based on reading a few of your posts, I seem to share similar food preferences as you do. For example, I, too, need carbs as part of my meal to be full/satisfied (I fare better if those carbs are combined w/ some protein and fat, too). Also, I remember you mentioning on a previous thread that you do not get hungry until late morning. It's the same with me: If I follow my hunger signals, I usually don't get hungry until around 11 or Noon. If I eat exactly what I want in the amount I want, I won't be hungry until dinner. If I were to eat a big meal in the afternoon as you just described, I would not be hungry for dinner.

I've been giving intuitive eating some thought lately, and I realize that my two biggest impediments to it are these: 1) Even if I am not physically hungry, I mentally want to eat. Today, for instance, I overate just because I wanted to, not because I was hungry. I had gotten a bagel, and I was going shopping, so I had the cream cheese and the bagel in my car. I told myself I would not eat it until I got hungry, but I ate it before I even started shopping. (ETA: Later, I ate two candy bars---a rarity, I must say, but I have been craving Twix & Snickers for some reason. Later I ate a turkey sandwich and two peaches---at no point today was I physically hungry before eating any of this). It was as if I needed to eat even though I wasn't physically hungry. I tried to think about why, and I realized that maybe it's just that I want that pleasurable feeling from tasting good food. Do you ever have this challenge? 2) I really can get in tune with my hunger signals. I can distinguish when I'm physically hungry. The problem for me is knowing when to stop eating. I remember trying IE years ago, and this was my biggest struggle then, too. I realize that I actually like to feel full---not I-feel-sick full, but [B]full/B]--as in I can feel the food in my stomach and am satisfied. That may be the sticking point for me because in order to get to that stage, I have a feeling that I have to overeat. This is probably because I eat too fast (I say this because when I eat at a fine restaurant and the courses, obviously, are spaced out, I get full MUCH more quickly on less food).

Does anyone here struggle with the above two problems? Any advice for overcoming them? Also, for those on IE, I know you probably do not regularly weigh yourself, but do any of you know whether you've gained since you stopped formally "dieting"?

Lin43 - Yes I struggle with the whole wanting to eat just for pleasure thing. And have done alot of pleasure eating while trying to free myself from bingeing as I felt it was important to allow this to learn that it was normal sometimes and to not beat myself up over it. Before, eating for solely pleasure always turned into a binge due to the guilt. But my brain is starting to get rewired to know that I don't have to binge just because I ate something when I wasn't hungry. It has been a while now for me without bingeing and I am really trying to move more into the Intuitive Eating mindset, instead of only focussing on not restricting. Not restricting means eating whatever I want when I want too. It is part of the healing proccess from an eating disorder I am sure of. But I think to be a healthy person, and especially for a person who wants to lose weight (once a person feels like they have conquered or got their eating disorder under control), moving from simply not restricting to intuitive eating is the way to go. I am constantly trying to remember to ask myself "am I hungry?" before I decide to eat. I am getting better at this, and eating less just out of pleasure. But I am very careful not to engage in the all or nothing mentality and turn intuitive eating into a diet. I don't want a strict rule saying "never ever eat just for pleasure". Because if I applied such a rule, I believe my bingeing would return over the guilt of slipping up and succumbing to a pleasureable eating episode. Last night I had 4 pieces of pizza. The first 2 were for hunger. The second 2 simply for pleasure. I accept that. Next time maybe I will just have 2 for the hunger and none for pleasure; or maybe I will have 2 for hunger and 1 for pleasure; or I might just eat a whole pizza for pleasure. The point is to keep going forward and just do the best you can and try to get better at it. Like I've said before, progress not perfection.

veggiedaze
06-08-2013, 03:55 PM
Pinkhippie, I loved reading your story! I've never read Overcoming Overeating but it is a book I've considered ordering (since it isn't available anywhere in our very large library system).

Odd that you should mention you only ate twice a day when you were at a good weight. That's pretty much my normal eating pattern when I listen to my body and follow my natural hunger cycles.

I emphasized in your post what I think is really important to remember - we are just going to be hungrier some days than others, and it's okay for us to eat more on those days. Not binge or gorge ourselves, obviously, but it's okay to take that second helping if you've really listened to your body and you know you are still hungry.

So glad you posted here. I hope you will continue to do so.

Southernmavin, I too find that some days I am just so much hungrier than other days. It is an important thing to learn that it's okay to be hungrier sometimes and not to distress over it.

lin43
06-08-2013, 04:04 PM
But I am very careful not to engage in the all or nothing mentality and turn intuitive eating into a diet. I don't want a strict rule saying "never ever eat just for pleasure"

Yes, this is exactly what happened to me in my past attempts at IE.

Last night I had 4 pieces of pizza. The first 2 were for hunger. The second 2 simply for pleasure. I accept that

I realized that three pieces of a large pizza is enough to satisfy me. Two (maybe even one) will take away the hunger, but I will not be satisfied without three. Four, for me, would be eating just for eating's sake; that fourth piece would not be as pleasurable for me to eat as the previous three, so I'm okay with three. As I mentioned on another thread, I do not believe I am a binger. I am an overeater, though. If I get enough of what I want, I will not continue to eat or even think about food. For instance, on Thursday night, I had three slices of pizza. I did not think about food for the rest of the night. The problem is that to get enough of what I want, I would have to overeat, and then I would gain. Maybe not much (10 lbs or so), but for my mindset right now, that is too much. I have been toying with the idea of applying two rules that take into account my intuitive eating habits but still provides me with some structure: eat two meals per day (that seems to be enough if I really don't just mindlessly eat); don't eat after dinner, except occasional (2 times a week) dessert.

magical
06-08-2013, 04:14 PM
Does anyone here struggle with the above two problems? Any advice for overcoming them? Also, for those on IE, I know you probably do not regularly weigh yourself, but do any of you know whether you've gained since you stopped formally "dieting"?

I put on weight initially after going the non-restricting route - I did not weigh myself but my clothes were tight and in some instances, I had to move a size up. That was more than a year back. The last time I weighed myself (end May) was 127lbs and back to my old size.


I realized that three pieces of a large pizza is enough to satisfy me. Two (maybe even one) will take away the hunger, but I will not be satisfied without three. Four, for me, would be eating just for eating's sake; that fourth piece would not be as pleasurable for me to eat as the previous three, so I'm okay with three.

Strange that you and Veggiedaze mentioned pizza. I had an entire large seafood pizza from Pizza Hut just last week - all in one meal. Plus 3 pcs of garlic bread. That was my meal for the day.

Pinkhippie
06-08-2013, 07:17 PM
Pinkhippie, I loved reading your story! I've never read Overcoming Overeating but it is a book I've considered ordering (since it isn't available anywhere in our very large library system).

Odd that you should mention you only ate twice a day when you were at a good weight. That's pretty much my normal eating pattern when I listen to my body and follow my natural hunger cycles.

I emphasized in your post what I think is really important to remember - we are just going to be hungrier some days than others, and it's okay for us to eat more on those days. Not binge or gorge ourselves, obviously, but it's okay to take that second helping if you've really listened to your body and you know you are still hungry.

So glad you posted here. I hope you will continue to do so.

Thanks for the welcome Southernmaven. :) It is really true that sometimes we are just hungrier than other days. I remember sometimes I would have an entire 2 weeks where I felt like I ate a lot and just when I would start to get worried, I was just not that hungry for the next two weeks. I really believe our bodies know what we need and if we listen to them and give them what they need, we will be in harmony and balance and at a good weight.

WOW pinkhippie! I really enjoyed reading your story and am so happy this thread and my journey have helped you. You sound alot like me in some of your thinking, and I'm so happy to hear you have indeed had positive results with quitting dieting. As I am sure you have noticed, not dieting is and always will be a work in progress. I think the whole allure to dieting in the first place is thinking it will give us a sure thing where we will not have to worry about anything, having our preplanned diets "take care of it" kind of thing, and let us avoid having to actually make decisions spontaneously while listening to the needs of our bodies. We just don't want to put that work in and pay attention. But we lose in the long run when we try to delegate that to something other than our own instincts.

I hope you will continue to post and give feedback and give updates on how it's going and any lessons you learn along the way.

Yeah when I first start eating more along the lines of waiting until Im hungry and waiting for what I want it seems like so much more work! I think that is why it has been hard for me to get back in the groove. It's easier for me to just wake up, eat my bowl of oatmeal and my apple snack whether or not I am hungry than to wake up and be like "what do I want to eat today and am I even hungry?"

The past few days I have waited to eat until I am hungry. Both days I haven't been hungry until 12 o clock. I have a hard time figuring out what I really want to eat. Made doubly hard by making the kids lunches and breakfasts. Yesterday I calculated badly and by the time I was hungry to eat we had to leave the house. I took some stuff to eat but it wasn't enough and I spent the whole time out of the house REALLY hungry. I tried to tell myself that hunger wasn't a bad thing but it wasn't very comfortable. I did much better today. Im also working on legalizing foods and body acceptance. I have been eating treats and trying to be aware of the fact that I am eating them and enjoy them but even if I am eating out of mouth hunger I tell myself it's ok and this is just how I am learning. I am working on body acceptance with an exercise described in Overcoming Overeating where you basically look at your body without judgement. HARD to do. The way they say to do and what I find helpful is to just observe it. Like instead of "wow my stomach looks so fat and I have no waist" more like "my stomach goes out here and curves in here but then curves back out." This has been SO HELPFUL I can't even say. Getting rid of those judgmental thoughts about my body has shown me how judgmental I really was and also made me feel more happy and comfortable. I realized when I feel "fat" I want to EAT! My goal right now is to just normalize my relationship with food and to accept my body just as it is right now. Im not worried about weight loss. I think like someone said in earlier in the thread, you have to treat the disorder before you can worry about losing weight. I am also trying to be more aware of if I am eating for reasons other than hunger. I realized I was feeling pretty unhappy lately and I sat down and talked with my husband and we realized we havent taken any time to talk after the kids go to bed so we have been doing that and I feel much less like bingeing on treats after kids go to bed. Also, I am tricky and I think I can often trick myself into eating less than I really need because I spent so many years ignoring my hunger. Which backfires at the end of the day when I eat the entire contents of my pantry to make up for it. Anyway after only a few days, I feel better about myself when I look in the mirror than I have since I had the baby. I notice when I feel good about myself I am also more active. So, here I am on this journey. I am so glad to be here. As soon as I saw this thread I knew this was the thread for me. I really appreciate everyones experiences and what they are learning. It is so helpful for me! :)

Pinkhippie
06-08-2013, 07:26 PM
Oh and I also had pizza tonight! I had 3 pieces. I was really in the mood for it and i ate it slowly and savored it and then stopped when I felt like I was satisfied. 3 was enough. Then I had some cookies and really enjoyed those. when I was done I told myself what a great job I did listening to my body and eating what it wanted and felt really good. I did NOT beat myself up for eating too much or eating cookies even though the cookies were pure pleasure. It annoys me how much work goes into FOOD and thinking about FOOD. I can't wait until I am free from so much thinking about food. I hope that day comes soon. :)

surfergirl2
06-10-2013, 12:43 PM
It has taken a while but i think i am finally finished with the re-feed phase...where you (or at least i did) go a little crazy once you allow yourself to eat whatever you want. It took 2 or 3 months. i went through food phases...first i went crazy with protein bars, and most recently i ate a couple of store-bought cakes with the thick frosting...i ate a disgusting amount of cake but i think i'm finally over the obsession with cake. I am finally beginning to feel like i am not constantly craving food. Sometimes i still think about my next meal right after i'm finished with the last meal, but now it's more out of habit/boredom than anything--i don't actually feel like eating. Which is a change. I think i've probably gained a couple pounds (which is a lot considering i was already at my high weight when i gave up dieting 2-3 months ago), but i think i've stopped gaining at least. Now i have hope that my weight will eventually go down because my food obsession is finally over. I think the whole IE process takes a long time. It's not like you quit dieting and all of a sudden your problems are over. It's taken me a long time to get rid of my obsessions and i'm still not 100% there yet, for sure.

Pinkhippie
06-10-2013, 02:47 PM
It has taken a while but i think i am finally finished with the re-feed phase...where you (or at least i did) go a little crazy once you allow yourself to eat whatever you want. It took 2 or 3 months. i went through food phases...first i went crazy with protein bars, and most recently i ate a couple of store-bought cakes with the thick frosting...i ate a disgusting amount of cake but i think i'm finally over the obsession with cake. I am finally beginning to feel like i am not constantly craving food. Sometimes i still think about my next meal right after i'm finished with the last meal, but now it's more out of habit/boredom than anything--i don't actually feel like eating. Which is a change. I think i've probably gained a couple pounds (which is a lot considering i was already at my high weight when i gave up dieting 2-3 months ago), but i think i've stopped gaining at least. Now i have hope that my weight will eventually go down because my food obsession is finally over. I think the whole IE process takes a long time. It's not like you quit dieting and all of a sudden your problems are over. It's taken me a long time to get rid of my obsessions and i'm still not 100% there yet, for sure.

Wow good for you surfergirl2!

I am going through that right now I think. I have been letting myself eat things like donuts and oreos and trying not to stress or feel guilty as I eat them. I DO feel like I am going crazy sometimes but I think I eat less of them because I do not yell at myself or feel despairing as I eat but try to savor it and feel enjoyment. Today for lunch I had two chocolate donuts and grabbed a third and on that first bite of the third I realized I was all done with donuts and didn't want any more. I think Im also kind of getting tired of Oreos. I have more foods to work my way through but I think Im getting there. I think legalizing food is SO important. :)

I have to admit over the weekend I felt a little panicked and wanted to count calories for a day or two but I reminded myself that that never works and If I was counting calories I would want to eat the entire package of donuts rather than just the 3 I had because I would instantly feel deprived. ( It was a donut kind of weekend. :) )

lin43
06-10-2013, 06:07 PM
Strange that you and Veggiedaze mentioned pizza. I had an entire large seafood pizza from Pizza Hut just last week - all in one meal. Plus 3 pcs of garlic bread. That was my meal for the day.

I can see myself doing this if not for the fact that I am married, and my husband and I eat breakfast and dinner together. So, to some extent, the times I eat are dictated by that.

surfergirl2
06-11-2013, 03:38 PM
Btw this weekend, i went to a friend's party. I happened to have eaten something before, so i wasn't too hungry--ate a little food and didn't touch the desserts at all. I just remember around the same time last year, i went to the same party and i ate three cupcakes (and other stuff) and felt so awful about myself that after the party, i went home and binged. But more than anything i just remember the feeling of self-hatred that i had during that party, while i was trying to talk to friends and pretend everything was normal. It was so awful. I am so glad i will never go back to that again.

krampus
06-12-2013, 12:43 PM
Isn't that the best feeling??? I reread my diet blog (linked in my sig) and I was so desperate and unhappy and, ironically, heavier and eating less than I am today. I sometimes reread my old posts in the binge-free threads around here and realize how far I've come and how fortunate I am that life basically dictated I drastically change my lifestyle and behaviors...

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:29 PM
Yes, this is exactly what happened to me in my past attempts at IE.



I realized that three pieces of a large pizza is enough to satisfy me. Two (maybe even one) will take away the hunger, but I will not be satisfied without three. Four, for me, would be eating just for eating's sake; that fourth piece would not be as pleasurable for me to eat as the previous three, so I'm okay with three. As I mentioned on another thread, I do not believe I am a binger. I am an overeater, though. If I get enough of what I want, I will not continue to eat or even think about food. For instance, on Thursday night, I had three slices of pizza. I did not think about food for the rest of the night. The problem is that to get enough of what I want, I would have to overeat, and then I would gain. Maybe not much (10 lbs or so), but for my mindset right now, that is too much. I have been toying with the idea of applying two rules that take into account my intuitive eating habits but still provides me with some structure: eat two meals per day (that seems to be enough if I really don't just mindlessly eat); don't eat after dinner, except occasional (2 times a week) dessert.

Lin43 - hows the 2 rules working out for you? On my days off I generally eat just two meals unless I am unusually hungry. On my work days though I eat 3. The day is just too long, but my meals tend to be smaller than on days I eat just 2 meals. Every now and again I will just have one big meal but not very often. I pretty well never eat anything after dinner. When I do I tend to get bingeing urges. But on the rare occasion that I do want something, I have it and use it as practice to sit through those bingeing urges. I try to think of it as a positive opportunity to rewire my brain.

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:31 PM
I put on weight initially after going the non-restricting route - I did not weigh myself but my clothes were tight and in some instances, I had to move a size up. That was more than a year back. The last time I weighed myself (end May) was 127lbs and back to my old size.




Strange that you and Veggiedaze mentioned pizza. I had an entire large seafood pizza from Pizza Hut just last week - all in one meal. Plus 3 pcs of garlic bread. That was my meal for the day.

Funny how we were all eating pizza :D

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:36 PM
Thanks for the welcome Southernmaven. :) It is really true that sometimes we are just hungrier than other days. I remember sometimes I would have an entire 2 weeks where I felt like I ate a lot and just when I would start to get worried, I was just not that hungry for the next two weeks. I really believe our bodies know what we need and if we listen to them and give them what they need, we will be in harmony and balance and at a good weight.



Yeah when I first start eating more along the lines of waiting until Im hungry and waiting for what I want it seems like so much more work! I think that is why it has been hard for me to get back in the groove. It's easier for me to just wake up, eat my bowl of oatmeal and my apple snack whether or not I am hungry than to wake up and be like "what do I want to eat today and am I even hungry?"

The past few days I have waited to eat until I am hungry. Both days I haven't been hungry until 12 o clock. I have a hard time figuring out what I really want to eat. Made doubly hard by making the kids lunches and breakfasts. Yesterday I calculated badly and by the time I was hungry to eat we had to leave the house. I took some stuff to eat but it wasn't enough and I spent the whole time out of the house REALLY hungry. I tried to tell myself that hunger wasn't a bad thing but it wasn't very comfortable. I did much better today. Im also working on legalizing foods and body acceptance. I have been eating treats and trying to be aware of the fact that I am eating them and enjoy them but even if I am eating out of mouth hunger I tell myself it's ok and this is just how I am learning. I am working on body acceptance with an exercise described in Overcoming Overeating where you basically look at your body without judgement. HARD to do. The way they say to do and what I find helpful is to just observe it. Like instead of "wow my stomach looks so fat and I have no waist" more like "my stomach goes out here and curves in here but then curves back out." This has been SO HELPFUL I can't even say. Getting rid of those judgmental thoughts about my body has shown me how judgmental I really was and also made me feel more happy and comfortable. I realized when I feel "fat" I want to EAT! My goal right now is to just normalize my relationship with food and to accept my body just as it is right now. Im not worried about weight loss. I think like someone said in earlier in the thread, you have to treat the disorder before you can worry about losing weight. I am also trying to be more aware of if I am eating for reasons other than hunger. I realized I was feeling pretty unhappy lately and I sat down and talked with my husband and we realized we havent taken any time to talk after the kids go to bed so we have been doing that and I feel much less like bingeing on treats after kids go to bed. Also, I am tricky and I think I can often trick myself into eating less than I really need because I spent so many years ignoring my hunger. Which backfires at the end of the day when I eat the entire contents of my pantry to make up for it. Anyway after only a few days, I feel better about myself when I look in the mirror than I have since I had the baby. I notice when I feel good about myself I am also more active. So, here I am on this journey. I am so glad to be here. As soon as I saw this thread I knew this was the thread for me. I really appreciate everyones experiences and what they are learning. It is so helpful for me! :)

Just so true about how paying attention to when we are actually hungry instead of following a specific diet takes so much more work in the beginning. People who have followed diet plans for so long are just not used to doing this. It gets easier though, at least for me. It sounds like you are really learning alot about yourself and are coming a long ways with your thoughts. I am happy this thread has been helpful for you.

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:40 PM
It has taken a while but i think i am finally finished with the re-feed phase...where you (or at least i did) go a little crazy once you allow yourself to eat whatever you want. It took 2 or 3 months. i went through food phases...first i went crazy with protein bars, and most recently i ate a couple of store-bought cakes with the thick frosting...i ate a disgusting amount of cake but i think i'm finally over the obsession with cake. I am finally beginning to feel like i am not constantly craving food. Sometimes i still think about my next meal right after i'm finished with the last meal, but now it's more out of habit/boredom than anything--i don't actually feel like eating. Which is a change. I think i've probably gained a couple pounds (which is a lot considering i was already at my high weight when i gave up dieting 2-3 months ago), but i think i've stopped gaining at least. Now i have hope that my weight will eventually go down because my food obsession is finally over. I think the whole IE process takes a long time. It's not like you quit dieting and all of a sudden your problems are over. It's taken me a long time to get rid of my obsessions and i'm still not 100% there yet, for sure.


Awesome to read your update surfergurl and that you feel you are getting out of the overeating phase. I feel the same way about myself. we pretty well started this no dieting thing at the same time. You are so right I think that the IE thing takes a long time time. I have to remind myself all the time of the listening to my body thing. Some days are easier than others.

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:43 PM
Btw this weekend, i went to a friend's party. I happened to have eaten something before, so i wasn't too hungry--ate a little food and didn't touch the desserts at all. I just remember around the same time last year, i went to the same party and i ate three cupcakes (and other stuff) and felt so awful about myself that after the party, i went home and binged. But more than anything i just remember the feeling of self-hatred that i had during that party, while i was trying to talk to friends and pretend everything was normal. It was so awful. I am so glad i will never go back to that again.

Congratulations on this victory. I have had a couple moments like this that is such a reminder not to go back to my old ways no matter how tempting it is during those times of overindulgences that I have. But I just hang in there and notice the overindulgences are usually followed by natural underindulgences if there is such a word; so it keeps me believing in the process. Everything seems to balance out.

veggiedaze
06-14-2013, 02:46 PM
Isn't that the best feeling??? I reread my diet blog (linked in my sig) and I was so desperate and unhappy and, ironically, heavier and eating less than I am today. I sometimes reread my old posts in the binge-free threads around here and realize how far I've come and how fortunate I am that life basically dictated I drastically change my lifestyle and behaviors...

I have also gone back and read some of my older posts; ones that I wrote before starting this thread and ones from the beginning of this first thread. I am surprised at how my thoughts have changed so much.

Pinkhippie
06-14-2013, 09:55 PM
Just so true about how paying attention to when we are actually hungry instead of following a specific diet takes so much more work in the beginning. People who have followed diet plans for so long are just not used to doing this. It gets easier though, at least for me. It sounds like you are really learning alot about yourself and are coming a long ways with your thoughts. I am happy this thread has been helpful for you.

Thanks! I am learning but I feel like I am learning that its impossible. :mad:

Here are my challenges.
1st: the nursing! My baby is a year old but still eats very little solid food and nurses a ton. I am always HUNGRY. yet, I must be eating over my caloric needs because I either stay the same weight or gain a little weight and have to be careful and conscious to get back down to my 30 lbs overweight. So its really hard to get in touch with my body when I feel like its lying to me.

2nd: I want to wind down after the kids are in bed with FOOD. The problem is I am a little hungry from the bedtime nursing AND I want to unwind and relax. My husband pops in Killzone ( a first person shooter) to relax and unwind. I realized that I need a Killzone. :D I am totally conscious of the fact that I really am not that hungry and that I don't need to eat chocolate to satisfy my bodys physical needs but my mental self tells me that in fact yes in order to relax and unwind I DO need chocolate and if I don't have it I am miserable. And I say chocolate loosely. I usually eat way over my hunger needs when I eat treats at night.

Things I have improved on:

I have gotten MUCH better at eating slowly. At first I was really anxious about going slow, it was SO hard. now it is slowly becoming more of a habit and I do find myself leaving food on my plate more and more as I realize that I am not hungry anymore. (problem is I often seem to think Im full before I really am and then end up snacking after meals. I need to get better at figuring out my real satiety point. Again, a challenge with the nursing and the constant hunger)

I also am eating more mindfully. Even when I eat my treats at night now I am sitting at the table doing nothing but eating. No reading or tv or computer.

I have gotten much better at legalizing food and not feeling guilt for eating treats. I just recognize that I have a need that is not hunger that I am filling with food. And I am getting better at identifying what those needs are. However, it still doesn't seem to stop me from eating yet.

So improvements but its still very daunting. Sorry to blather on about myself, I just hope that reading my thought process and challenges could help someone else down the road. :)

Pinkhippie
06-14-2013, 10:00 PM
Oh also I realized I do the same thing with exercise that I do with food and restriction. I use it as a tool to feel bad about myself and I obsess and overdo until I injure myself so I stopped exercising in a formal way. I got a pedometer and I try to get 5,000 steps in a day. That is actually cool because I find I get way more done around the house because I need an excuse to walk. When I first started I actually had under 1000 steps a day so its been an improvement but with no pressure. my long term goal is 10,000 steps a day.

veggiedaze
06-15-2013, 12:49 PM
Thanks! I am learning but I feel like I am learning that its impossible. :mad:

Here are my challenges.
1st: the nursing! My baby is a year old but still eats very little solid food and nurses a ton. I am always HUNGRY. yet, I must be eating over my caloric needs because I either stay the same weight or gain a little weight and have to be careful and conscious to get back down to my 30 lbs overweight. So its really hard to get in touch with my body when I feel like its lying to me.

2nd: I want to wind down after the kids are in bed with FOOD. The problem is I am a little hungry from the bedtime nursing AND I want to unwind and relax. My husband pops in Killzone ( a first person shooter) to relax and unwind. I realized that I need a Killzone. :D I am totally conscious of the fact that I really am not that hungry and that I don't need to eat chocolate to satisfy my bodys physical needs but my mental self tells me that in fact yes in order to relax and unwind I DO need chocolate and if I don't have it I am miserable. And I say chocolate loosely. I usually eat way over my hunger needs when I eat treats at night.

Things I have improved on:

I have gotten MUCH better at eating slowly. At first I was really anxious about going slow, it was SO hard. now it is slowly becoming more of a habit and I do find myself leaving food on my plate more and more as I realize that I am not hungry anymore. (problem is I often seem to think Im full before I really am and then end up snacking after meals. I need to get better at figuring out my real satiety point. Again, a challenge with the nursing and the constant hunger)

I also am eating more mindfully. Even when I eat my treats at night now I am sitting at the table doing nothing but eating. No reading or tv or computer.

I have gotten much better at legalizing food and not feeling guilt for eating treats. I just recognize that I have a need that is not hunger that I am filling with food. And I am getting better at identifying what those needs are. However, it still doesn't seem to stop me from eating yet.

So improvements but its still very daunting. Sorry to blather on about myself, I just hope that reading my thought process and challenges could help someone else down the road. :)

Pinkhippie - sorry to hear you are having some frustrations, but it also looks like you are making some great improvements too with legalizing foods, eating mindfully etc. Because I have never had a baby or breastfed, it's really tough for me to give advice on this particular thing. I notice though you say you are hungry all the time, but then also say that sometimes at night after dinner you are concious that you are not that hungry but feel you need chocolate. Maybe what you need to work on is differentiating the difference between physical hunger and mental hunger (just an idea, I could be wrong). I have a very tough time sometimes differentiating these 2 things as well. What I've read in some of the books that have helped me is realizing that when actual physical hunger is not the driving force behind eating, there is no point of satiety that can be reached since there is no physical symptoms that need to be shut off by the eating. I don't know if I'm explaining it right, but when I have actual hunger and I eat, I can feel the hunger feelings go away. When I eat for emotional reasons like wanting to unwind at the end of a stressful day, there is just no off switch since nothing to do with physical hunger was turned on in the first place.

Another thing that has helped me to differentiate between physical hunger and mental hunger is the foods I am wanting. When I am physically hungry, I usually want real food (not all the time but mostly), and when I'm mentally hungry I want hyperpalatable foods like cookies and chocolate etc. I think it has helped me to recognize that hyperplalatable foods have a drug like effect on the brain like a sedative. It seems like for alot of people (like tonnes and tonnes of people) have difficulty from the time after dinner until bedtime. It is natural to want to unwind in the hours leading to bedtime, and all the daily stressors and thoughts and worries can make it really tough to do so.

EDIT: opps, posted before I was done. I am continueing this post below.

veggiedaze
06-15-2013, 01:14 PM
I think you have to decide where you are in this journey. For me to get my bingeing under control I had to firstly allow myself to feed both my physical and mental hunger. Denying either made me want to binge. Once I had gone a period of time without bingeing and felt like I didn't have to binge, I began working more on IE and trying to only feed my physical hunger. Denying my mental hunger meant getting bingeing urges that I just had to sit wih and feel uncomfortable with until it passed. I still do get the urges and sometimes I try to do something to distract myself, but mostly I just have to accept the feeling and know that it is just that part of my brain that is wired incorrectly. I can actually turn that negative into a positive by realizing I am trying to rewire it and decondition it. Every time I sit through that feeling and do not act, I know I am reinforcing a new behaviour and it gives me confidence to know I can get through the next time. This is not to say I never give in to mental hunger. I do sometimes. But when I do I am aware that because I am feeding mental hunger, there will be no shut off switch. So I do not count on satiety ques to tell me when to stop. I just try to stop. Like I might have some chocolate, and of course when I do I want more and more (the animal brain talking). Being aware of this helps me stop before it turns into a binge. Sometimes I am able to stop at just a little chocolate and sometimes I stop at alot. but I don't binge. The toughest part is not to feel guilty if I stop at alot rather than a little. But this is where the getting away from the "all or nothing" mentality comes in and instead of feeling like a failure for having too much, I remind myself that being able to have too much and not binge is actually a victory. I then put it behind me and try to improve and listen to my body more the next time. And sometimes the next time will be better, and sometimes it is not better. Overall though, I think I do do better with it all. It is like 2 steps forward and one back.

I think also you might be too hard on yourself. Maybe it is unrealistic for you to lose weight while breastfeeding. Maybe also the pressure you are putting on yourself to lose weight is actually causing some of this mental hunger. I think a big part of getting over some of the mental hunger for me was not tracking anything incuding what the scale said. I mean, how can someone honestly just relax at the end of the day when they have numbers floating around in there heads?

So I'm not sure if anything I've said helps. Obviously I am talking from my own experiences and what is helpful to one person doesn't necessarily apply to someone else. But it does sound like there are many positiive discoveries you have made. The key I think is to just keep trying things and staying positive and focus on the victories and build on that. We are all a work in progress. I am still progressing.

veggiedaze
06-15-2013, 01:26 PM
Oh also I realized I do the same thing with exercise that I do with food and restriction. I use it as a tool to feel bad about myself and I obsess and overdo until I injure myself so I stopped exercising in a formal way. I got a pedometer and I try to get 5,000 steps in a day. That is actually cool because I find I get way more done around the house because I need an excuse to walk. When I first started I actually had under 1000 steps a day so its been an improvement but with no pressure. my long term goal is 10,000 steps a day.

This is a huge victory! I used to be the same with exercise. I would obsess and run until the point of injury. Now though, I use exercise as a treatment for my mental health. It gives me a huge mental boost and alleviates alot of the mental hunger. It is easy to fall into the thinking of feeling bad about not exercising. I know all too well about that. I just have to keep reminding myself "why" I exercise and make sure it is about health and sanity and not what I look like. I also do activities I truly enjoy.

surfergirl2
06-17-2013, 01:50 PM
Just wanted to post about another victory. I went camping/hiking/rockclimbing last week. I took a similar trip to the same place last year. While i didn't really binge (i don't really binge when i'm out and about, having fun; only at home) on the trip last year, food was definitely on my mind. I was so happy to notice that i was free from my food prison this trip. I didn't worry about it, didn't worry about how much i was eating in front of others, didn't look forward to going home so i could binge, etc.

surfergirl2
06-17-2013, 07:21 PM
I think you have to decide where you are in this journey. For me to get my bingeing under control I had to firstly allow myself to feed both my physical and mental hunger. Denying either made me want to binge. Once I had gone a period of time without bingeing and felt like I didn't have to binge, I began working more on IE and trying to only feed my physical hunger. Denying my mental hunger meant getting bingeing urges that I just had to sit wih and feel uncomfortable with until it passed. I still do get the urges and sometimes I try to do something to distract myself, but mostly I just have to accept the feeling and know that it is just that part of my brain that is wired incorrectly. I can actually turn that negative into a positive by realizing I am trying to rewire it and decondition it. Every time I sit through that feeling and do not act, I know I am reinforcing a new behaviour and it gives me confidence to know I can get through the next time. This is not to say I never give in to mental hunger. I do sometimes. But when I do I am aware that because I am feeding mental hunger, there will be no shut off switch. So I do not count on satiety ques to tell me when to stop. I just try to stop. Like I might have some chocolate, and of course when I do I want more and more (the animal brain talking). Being aware of this helps me stop before it turns into a binge. Sometimes I am able to stop at just a little chocolate and sometimes I stop at alot. but I don't binge. The toughest part is not to feel guilty if I stop at alot rather than a little. But this is where the getting away from the "all or nothing" mentality comes in and instead of feeling like a failure for having too much, I remind myself that being able to have too much and not binge is actually a victory. I then put it behind me and try to improve and listen to my body more the next time. And sometimes the next time will be better, and sometimes it is not better. Overall though, I think I do do better with it all. It is like 2 steps forward and one back.

I think also you might be too hard on yourself. Maybe it is unrealistic for you to lose weight while breastfeeding. Maybe also the pressure you are putting on yourself to lose weight is actually causing some of this mental hunger. I think a big part of getting over some of the mental hunger for me was not tracking anything incuding what the scale said. I mean, how can someone honestly just relax at the end of the day when they have numbers floating around in there heads?

So I'm not sure if anything I've said helps. Obviously I am talking from my own experiences and what is helpful to one person doesn't necessarily apply to someone else. But it does sound like there are many positiive discoveries you have made. The key I think is to just keep trying things and staying positive and focus on the victories and build on that. We are all a work in progress. I am still progressing.

I took a different approach. I guess i'm not exactly following IE because if i "mentally" want to eat, even without physical hunger, i allow myself to. It took 3 months, but i think i've finally gotten to the point where there is no "mental" hunger anymore. That's because i gave myself unconditional permission to eat whenever, whatever i wanted.

And i'm applying this not only to eating, but to other aspects of my life (in a more general sense, of course). I am trying to be more true to myself and not live in denial about what i really want out of life. I am more happier as a result. It's still a work in progress, but i am happier now.

Pinkhippie
06-17-2013, 10:49 PM
I think you have to decide where you are in this journey. For me to get my bingeing under control I had to firstly allow myself to feed both my physical and mental hunger. Denying either made me want to binge. Once I had gone a period of time without bingeing and felt like I didn't have to binge, I began working more on IE and trying to only feed my physical hunger. Denying my mental hunger meant getting bingeing urges that I just had to sit wih and feel uncomfortable with until it passed. I still do get the urges and sometimes I try to do something to distract myself, but mostly I just have to accept the feeling and know that it is just that part of my brain that is wired incorrectly. I can actually turn that negative into a positive by realizing I am trying to rewire it and decondition it. Every time I sit through that feeling and do not act, I know I am reinforcing a new behaviour and it gives me confidence to know I can get through the next time. This is not to say I never give in to mental hunger. I do sometimes. But when I do I am aware that because I am feeding mental hunger, there will be no shut off switch. So I do not count on satiety ques to tell me when to stop. I just try to stop. Like I might have some chocolate, and of course when I do I want more and more (the animal brain talking). Being aware of this helps me stop before it turns into a binge. Sometimes I am able to stop at just a little chocolate and sometimes I stop at alot. but I don't binge. The toughest part is not to feel guilty if I stop at alot rather than a little. But this is where the getting away from the "all or nothing" mentality comes in and instead of feeling like a failure for having too much, I remind myself that being able to have too much and not binge is actually a victory. I then put it behind me and try to improve and listen to my body more the next time. And sometimes the next time will be better, and sometimes it is not better. Overall though, I think I do do better with it all. It is like 2 steps forward and one back.

I think also you might be too hard on yourself. Maybe it is unrealistic for you to lose weight while breastfeeding. Maybe also the pressure you are putting on yourself to lose weight is actually causing some of this mental hunger. I think a big part of getting over some of the mental hunger for me was not tracking anything incuding what the scale said. I mean, how can someone honestly just relax at the end of the day when they have numbers floating around in there heads?

So I'm not sure if anything I've said helps. Obviously I am talking from my own experiences and what is helpful to one person doesn't necessarily apply to someone else. But it does sound like there are many positiive discoveries you have made. The key I think is to just keep trying things and staying positive and focus on the victories and build on that. We are all a work in progress. I am still progressing.


Veggiedaze you are so wise. You are right, I realized I have totally been lying to myself about not worrying about losing weight. I told myself I was not going to worry about that but its not true. I was unconsciously trying. And, of course that means for me starving myself without even realizing I was doing it. Of course I was hungry at night. I wasn't eating enough during the day. I read your post on Friday but when I came to post a response the malware warning for this site was up so I had to wait. But all weekend I was concsious and made sure that I REALLY ate plenty of food. I realized when I did that that I could easily tell what mental hunger or physical hunger was. I realized I mostly DO eat out of physical hunger. The thing about nighttime is that I eat a treat AND Im hungry so Im eating a ton of treat. When I eat enough food during the day I don't feel that strong chocolate urge. But if I do, then I eat some. I am still at the point of feeling like I am depriving myself if I don't eat if I want to even if I recognize that is just mental hunger. So thank you, thank you for your words. I think you are right about the nursing and the weight loss. I need to just accept it and try to eat enough so I don't trigger my need to eat junk. I think my body is just trying to get enough fat and calories so it goes a little crazy when I deprive it. I have really been making an effort to eat MORE. It's crazy how I can fool myself into thinking I am not hungry until I am going to pass out from hunger and then have to eat my weight in chocolate. I hate being 30 pounds overweight SO MUCH but I have to really truly learn to accept myself just as I am right now or I am not going to get my eating normalized. I have been working really hard on self acceptance over the weekend too. Thanks again for your perceptive observations. They really helped me.

Just wanted to post about another victory. I went camping/hiking/rockclimbing last week. I took a similar trip to the same place last year. While i didn't really binge (i don't really binge when i'm out and about, having fun; only at home) on the trip last year, food was definitely on my mind. I was so happy to notice that i was free from my food prison this trip. I didn't worry about it, didn't worry about how much i was eating in front of others, didn't look forward to going home so i could binge, etc.

That is awesome! Sounds like you are really doing great!

Pinkhippie
06-17-2013, 10:51 PM
I took a different approach. I guess i'm not exactly following IE because if i "mentally" want to eat, even without physical hunger, i allow myself to. It took 3 months, but i think i've finally gotten to the point where there is no "mental" hunger anymore. That's because i gave myself unconditional permission to eat whenever, whatever i wanted.

And i'm applying this not only to eating, but to other aspects of my life (in a more general sense, of course). I am trying to be more true to myself and not live in denial about what i really want out of life. I am more happier as a result. It's still a work in progress, but i am happier now.

I feel the same way about mental eating. It's good to hear that you were able to get to a place to give yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever and whenever you wanted. I am still working on that. I never realized how many unconscious "rules" I have for myself regarding food. It's crazy!

surfergirl2
06-18-2013, 12:04 PM
Another benefit of letting go of the food guilt...you can actually tell how the food really makes you feel. This morning, i ate a very large, sugary breakfast, and i felt really tired afterward. No guilt, just tired. I think i always experienced that before, but it was covered up by the guilt...i never even knew that carbs actually made me physically tired, i thought it was just me being depressed!

krampus
06-18-2013, 03:06 PM
The other night I ummmm "visited the 1960s," lucy in the sky with diamonds, whatever you want to call it, and ice cream tasted foul while raw bok choy tasted delightful.

Not wanting to give too much credit to psychedelic experiences but it was surely interesting!

lin43
06-18-2013, 04:59 PM
When I am physically hungry, I usually want real food (not all the time but mostly), and when I'm mentally hungry I want hyperpalatable foods like cookies and chocolate etc. I think it has helped me to recognize that hyperplalatable foods have a drug like effect on the brain like a sedative. It seems like for alot of people (like tonnes and tonnes of people) have difficulty from the time after dinner until bedtime. It is natural to want to unwind in the hours leading to bedtime, and all the daily stressors and thoughts and worries can make it really tough to do so.

I never consciously categorized it this way, but this is so true for me as well.

freelancemomma
06-18-2013, 06:24 PM
The other night I ummmm "visited the 1960s," lucy in the sky with diamonds, whatever you want to call it

"Took a walk in the foliage," perhaps? Oh wait, it probably wasn't foliage.

;) F.

KittyKatFan
06-18-2013, 09:47 PM
This is a really interesting thread, particularly because I'm in the middle of reading "Intuitive Eating" and it has already helped me turn a corner, I think :)

I have been getting treatment for BED, and have made tremendous progress, IMO, on the binging side. I am much better able to reduce the pre-binge anxiety and the urges to binge. When I have binged, I have been able to contain the damage to one day and get back on track, compared to the "well, I will get back to it on Monday" mindset I used to have.

My biggest challenge has been restriction. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but because of an intense fear that I would gain weight if I ate everything prescribed by the treatment team's meal plan. I have been very resistant to letting go and giving myself totally to the process.

I'm not even halfway through IE and I feel like I can do it. The center where I go teaches us that IE is the way to go but I worried so much about eating past fullness (like others have cited, I have trouble reading fullness cues). But now I understand that the meal plan is there to help me with identifying the portion sizes that are appropriate and will get me to fullness.

Anyway, I also read Overcoming Overeating and yes, IE is similar. But IE has just clicked for me. The scales are out of the house, I am choosing the foods I crave rather than just going for what I think I "should" eat, and I even succeeded in eating a donut for breakfast guilt-free (a donut challenge started my last two binges :(). I still think I may be eating too much, but like clockwork, the hunger cues have popped up every 3-4 hours.

Still early days, but I feel so proud and confident. And free.

DanielleGraceP
06-20-2013, 06:05 PM
Intuitive Eating is one of my favorite books! I also love Women, Food, and God. I gave up dieting a few years ago and can honestly say it really helped me kick binging to the curb. It was certainly a process and didn't work for me right away but with enough time and persistence it did. I also found it very important to be really kind and loving to myself and not beat myself up for every slip up I had. I got really aware too of all the feelings I was pushing aside by eating. This helped immensely!

kellycg102
06-21-2013, 10:20 AM
Ok so I haven't posted in awhile........still trying to figure me out....wow quite a job lol I have an appointment with a counsellor who specializes in having a healthy relationship with food. It is pricey $160 for an hour and I have no coverage, so I am not sure how often I can go, or how often she would like me to see her. My appointment isn't until July 9th but I have been doing low carb for a couple months with a couple slip ups, but haven't lost anything. So I thought why the **** am I doing this and getting no results. At least the first time I lost 50lbs.......results help to stay on track. So I am on day 2 of not dieting....again. Gosh it is scary.....and just hard to let go of everything I have learned over the years about how I "should" eat......I do know that I have to be careful with carbs.....only becuase as much as I love them, I feel like crap when I eat them. So just trying to eat healthy, have something if I want it and try not to binge.

Pinkhippie
06-27-2013, 10:33 PM
This is a really interesting thread, particularly because I'm in the middle of reading "Intuitive Eating" and it has already helped me turn a corner, I think :)

I have been getting treatment for BED, and have made tremendous progress, IMO, on the binging side. I am much better able to reduce the pre-binge anxiety and the urges to binge. When I have binged, I have been able to contain the damage to one day and get back on track, compared to the "well, I will get back to it on Monday" mindset I used to have.

My biggest challenge has been restriction. Not because I wanted to lose weight, but because of an intense fear that I would gain weight if I ate everything prescribed by the treatment team's meal plan. I have been very resistant to letting go and giving myself totally to the process.

I'm not even halfway through IE and I feel like I can do it. The center where I go teaches us that IE is the way to go but I worried so much about eating past fullness (like others have cited, I have trouble reading fullness cues). But now I understand that the meal plan is there to help me with identifying the portion sizes that are appropriate and will get me to fullness.

Anyway, I also read Overcoming Overeating and yes, IE is similar. But IE has just clicked for me. The scales are out of the house, I am choosing the foods I crave rather than just going for what I think I "should" eat, and I even succeeded in eating a donut for breakfast guilt-free (a donut challenge started my last two binges :(). I still think I may be eating too much, but like clockwork, the hunger cues have popped up every 3-4 hours.

Still early days, but I feel so proud and confident. And free.

Im glad you mentioned the IE book. I always loved Overcoming Overeating but IE takes it so much further. I just started reading it and I am really happy with it so far. Im so glad IE is working for you!

Intuitive Eating is one of my favorite books! I also love Women, Food, and God. I gave up dieting a few years ago and can honestly say it really helped me kick binging to the curb. It was certainly a process and didn't work for me right away but with enough time and persistence it did. I also found it very important to be really kind and loving to myself and not beat myself up for every slip up I had. I got really aware too of all the feelings I was pushing aside by eating. This helped immensely!

Yes I think it really helps to become aware of what feelings I am stuffing down with food. Something that has really helped me feel aware is just always eating in the same place (at the dining room table) with nothing else to do other than eat. I find that I pay attention to my food and really am more aware of why I am eating and sometimes realize I am bored or sad or whatever.

Another benefit of letting go of the food guilt...you can actually tell how the food really makes you feel. This morning, i ate a very large, sugary breakfast, and i felt really tired afterward. No guilt, just tired. I think i always experienced that before, but it was covered up by the guilt...i never even knew that carbs actually made me physically tired, i thought it was just me being depressed!

I have found this to be totally true! Once the guilt voices go away you can start to notice how you feel. If you are busy beating yourself up for eating chocolate you don't even notice that actually suddenly you feel kind of light headed and tired. I am tuning even more into that and discovering I don't like how I feel when I have a bunch of sugary stuff.

Ok so I haven't posted in awhile........still trying to figure me out....wow quite a job lol I have an appointment with a counsellor who specializes in having a healthy relationship with food. It is pricey $160 for an hour and I have no coverage, so I am not sure how often I can go, or how often she would like me to see her. My appointment isn't until July 9th but I have been doing low carb for a couple months with a couple slip ups, but haven't lost anything. So I thought why the **** am I doing this and getting no results. At least the first time I lost 50lbs.......results help to stay on track. So I am on day 2 of not dieting....again. Gosh it is scary.....and just hard to let go of everything I have learned over the years about how I "should" eat......I do know that I have to be careful with carbs.....only becuase as much as I love them, I feel like crap when I eat them. So just trying to eat healthy, have something if I want it and try not to binge.

How are you doing? It is scary to let go.

I have been plodding along on my journey. My journey is a little different because of the nursing but here is what I have discovered:

I am hungry. really really hungry. I can't deny myself anymore. When I am craving junk food, its actually because Im really hungry. Apparently breastfeeding lowers your blood sugar so when you need a quick fix the sugary goods appeal. But really twinkies are not what your body is trying to tell you it needs. Its thinking more along the lines of yams or carrots or fruit. So my old pattern was to eat a meal and then be done because I couldnt possibly eat any more than that because it was "too much". But I would feel like I wanted something sweet after the meal. Commence gorging on chocolate or ice cream or whatever. Because I actually still was hungry! So I was eating a treat to satisfy my hunger and ended up eating a ton of junk because its not really high up on the nutrition spectrum and my body was trying to get what it needs.

New pattern. Eat a meal. think to myself, does a treat sound really good right now? If it does, eat more food, have seconds whatever and suddenly I am aware I am at the satiation point and I realize sugary foods do not sound appealing in the least. Also if its between meals and I suddenly am craving a pop tart, I know take that as the sign that I am hungry. And I go get something to eat like REAL food. And then I feel fine. It took legalizing foods to realize this though. The other day I wanted a pop tart after lunch. I obviously allowed myself to have it but I ate it without guilt and realized hey I am actually still really hungry and this is NOT hitting the spot. So I put it away and made myself a sandwich. I find that I am not craving chocolate or treats anymore. I have a bar of chocolate that has been sitting untouched on the top of the fridge for almost two weeks now. This is unheard of in the past few years. I would have felt compelled to polish off the entire bar in a night or maybe two nights just so it wouldnt be in the house anymore. But if I wanted it, I would go eat it and it would be ok.

When I first legalized foods I ate a lot of cookies and donuts instead of meals. Then I started eating lots of cookies and donuts after meals. Then I started eating lots of pasta and breads. Then I suddenly realized I really wanted some protein and I went crazy on meat for a while. I just came out of that yesterday and am suddenly craving fruits and vegetables. I think our body really does know what we need if we can listen to it. I am still in the fledgeling stages and I know I will have steps forward and back. But I feel good about where I am going.

kellycg102
07-03-2013, 12:38 PM
Gosh how am I doing......I am not sure really..lol. I was eating crap while camping, felt like crap....been back since Monday....went to the gym yesterday and today, trying to make healthier old choices that I know make me feel better. The problem is I want and crave junk food all the time, I don't really get tired of it. Still reading intuitive eating, but I have a large fill point and hard to not eat just for the sake of eating. I go to see my new counsellor next week, so really trying to just coast until then. Very hard not to jump on the low carb diet wagon again.....my pants are tight and I feel like people are looking at me thinking wow she has gained so much in so little time. Once I introduced carbs again, I hold more than usual so it is like a 7lbs gain, plus the crap eating for two weeks.....it is adding up. So that is me so far....trying to find my way!

CinnamonApples
03-21-2014, 04:20 PM
Hi all! I have been reading the first part and this thread and find it so relevant. Looks like no one has posted for a while, but I hope to be read. This is my first post here ever, I joined 3FC just to post here, because I just had to. I would like your help... I have been dieting and I have been binging. I also feel that the only way out is to stop dieting, but I find it hard to let go. I have a severe anxiety about how I look and I always hope that if I could lose that weight and THEN do intuitive eating, it would be perfect. But, obviously, I wasn't successful at that if I am back to and over the weight I have started at. In fact, I was trying to get back in control for over a year, but... The more I try the worse it gets. I am not even able to follow a diet for a week anymore. Before, I was quite successful at restricting with only occasional binges, but with some circumstances that led to stress and anxiety, I turned to food... Anyway, how do you deal with giving up dieting while still wanting to lose weight? Also, do you still feel anxious about how you look? I am painfully aware of my body and I am trying hard to ignore negative feelings about it, but I just can't. My brain is screaming fat fat fat, I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, and my hands grab my belly fat with disgust... Not sure what to do. And, because of that stress over how I look, I only feel more anxious and want to binge more. I am aware that I am digging a hole to myself and I should just let myself be, but awareness does not change how I feel. I wish I could just shut off my brain and relax. How you were able to let go?

I have not lost my hunger signals, like I read some people have. Although I find it hard to wait until I feel hungry, especially when I am not busy doing other things. But, I do have problems with feeling satisfied. My mom used to make me clean the plate. I have some memories from my childhood when I felt awful full, but she forced me to finish. But at some point I stopped feeling this way, I learned to ignore that feeling and that was even before dieting. Now I am able to eat eat eat and yes, I do feel kinda full, but my brain does not scream STOP like it should. I can easily go past comfortable fullness. This was ok when I was eating low calorie food, actually I used to be glad that I can eat huge amounts of food and still be thin. That was when I was eating low calorie foods, but that's not what I am doing now... I think that my stomach is really stretched, so it is harder to understand when enough is enough with any kind of foods. Furthermore, when I try IE, I am afraid of stopping too soon. I am afraid of binging and so I overeat so that I wouldn't binge. I have tried IE a few times before, but I would only end up overeating. Eventually, I would say to myself that I can't do this and I need to be accountable and start counting calories again. Also when I attempt IE, I am eating lots of sweets and stuff that I would not like to eat not just for the weight, but also because it makes me feel bad and anxious. And, I eat it not because of hunger, but just because it tastes good, so that is probably even against IE. But for some reason, when I try IE, I feel like I Should eat everything, like it is part of a programme or something. What I am trying to say is that I want to eat healthy and I do not want to eat all that sugary crap that makes me feel bad afterwards, but I do, I guess to prove myself that I can. I don't know if I make any sense, but it hard to explain. I just wish I could Intuitively Eat healthfully.

When I am trying to ignore feelings about my looks and just try to enjoy living, it feels like faking, it feels like I am lying to myself, because deep down (not even so deep actually) I do want to look and feel good. At the same time I do want to enjoy life and let go. It's like I am in a trap and I don't know how to get out. I wish I have never went on a diet and that is another source of mourning for me, another reason why I feel bad. I think about all these years that I have ****ed up with dieting and I am terrified that I will never get my life back, that I will always be obsessed with food, never able to enjoy it, never able to just eat and not think about it 24/7.

Also, did you manage to become an intuitive eater on your own or did you have some support? I am attempting this on my own. I am in a normal weight range, so no one even suspects about my struggles with food. They would think I am crazy if I told that I binge eat. People think that only super skinny and really overweight have problems with eating.

It turned out to be a very long post. Sorry about that, but I have a lot on my mind. Much more than that! I'd be grateful for your advise. Thanks!!!!

Wannabeskinny
03-22-2014, 08:24 AM
Hi CinnamonApples, welcome to the forum. I read the anxiety in your post and I think you've come to a good place for support. There are a few of us here who are intuitive eaters, some of us have been doing it for a long time and others who are new. All the conflicting issues you have are very normal and typical with starting IE. My observation in your post is that you don't fully put your trust into the process yet, it's sort of like jumping off a cliff. You can't inch your way down but we all try to at first. Hey I know, it's scary!!!

There is an intuitive eating thread ongoing each month you can check in with:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-diet-plans-questions/293494-intuitive-eating-march-2014-a.html

And on the Chicks in Control forum there are threads that start with the the title IE which are all subjects covered through the lens of intuitive eating.
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293423-ie-sadness-letting-go-diets.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293505-ie-compulsion-return-diets.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293664-ie-eliminating-fear-hunger.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293521-ie-process-eating.html
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control/293524-ie-eliminating-our-envy-others.html

You'll see that you're not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through a similar process of feeling guilt over eating foods that I enjoy and wishing that I crave healthy foods. But I promise you, if you hand over a little trust to your body it will eventually start to treat you much better than you've been treating it. You will not bury yourself in a mountain of cake, and even if you do, your body will push through it. You just have to trust in yourself, go over that cliff so to speak.

Welcome and please stay, there is support here.

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 05:09 AM
Hi Wannabeskinny! Thank you for the links - I will definitely go through those threads. You are right about my anxiety. I tend to be a perfectionist, so I feel disappointed for not being able to control what I eat any-more. I guess that is even more so, because everyone around me is striving to look their best and I was one of them for a long time until I fell off the vagon. A lot of pressure. I have just finished reading "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans" by Josie Spinardi - a great book indeed. I like that she acknowledges one's desire to be thin. And I am sure it would work if I ate when I am hungry and stopped when I am full, but even knowing that I can have anything I want when I am hungry, I still want it all and want it now. So it is hard to wait until I am hungry and then stop. When I had rules and portions there was less of willpower involved. Maybe things will get better with time. I hope so! How long did it take you to feel comfortable with IE?

Wannabeskinny
03-23-2014, 08:49 AM
Hi Wannabeskinny! Thank you for the links - I will definitely go through those threads. You are right about my anxiety. I tend to be a perfectionist, so I feel disappointed for not being able to control what I eat any-more. I guess that is even more so, because everyone around me is striving to look their best and I was one of them for a long time until I fell off the vagon. A lot of pressure. I have just finished reading "How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans" by Josie Spinardi - a great book indeed. I like that she acknowledges one's desire to be thin. And I am sure it would work if I ate when I am hungry and stopped when I am full, but even knowing that I can have anything I want when I am hungry, I still want it all and want it now. So it is hard to wait until I am hungry and then stop. When I had rules and portions there was less of willpower involved. Maybe things will get better with time. I hope so! How long did it take you to feel comfortable with IE?

I was comfortable with IE right away. I'm not saying it hasn't been difficult because it has. But I finally started working on what's important. Diets were making me crazy, they took all the control out of my hands. I didn't like being told when to eat, what to eat, and how much to eat. I didn't like being told that I can't eat something. I didn't like judging myself for eating something off plan. And I especially did not like the way diets approached hunger, like it was something I had to push away, will away, grit through, trick, and not allow hunger to even happen. IE taught me that I was born with the skills I need, hunger and the ability to feed myself. And if I really listen to my body and cultivate those skills that I could build a normal relationship with food.

Your posts sound like you're coming from a good place but that you are confused. You don't know where to start. I would urge you to read Overfed Head (easy read, free pdf online if you google it). There's a lot of steps you can take, one is to eat everything you want for a few days until you get it out of your system. Another is to spend a few days allowing yourself to get really hungry between meals, just so that you can really wrap your mind around what the physical feeling of hunger is.

For me the first step was to eat mindfully. I sit down with my food without distraction, no tv/book/phone/computer, look at everything carefully, eat very slowly savoring each bite. Stay focused on what you're eating, don't zone out. Believe it or not this helped me a lot. None of the books mention mirrors but I find that watching myself eat in a mirror can be quite painful, but it helps me sometimes (when I can stand it) to face the real me. During that time I give myself loving thoughts like I am nurturing myself, that I am beautiful, that I deserve to eat just like everyone else, that there is no shame in eating etc. Halfway through the meal I take a nice long 2-3minute break. I go into the other room, get a glass of water, check my email, go to the bathroom, answer a phone call, put the clothes in the dryer, whatever I have to do to get myself away from the plate. Then I tell myself "when I go back to the food I can have as much of it as I want." But usually I find that the little break helps me tune in to my fullness signal and I usually don't want much more of it let alone the rest of it. I'm very happy with how this is working, and I'm eating all the foods I crave and actually enjoying them. Before I wasn't enjoying anything, I was saying hateful things to myself all the time during and after eating. It's amazing what a little self love will do.

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 09:00 AM
I have downloaded that book and will read it shortly. Also, good tips regarding the mirror and a break. I eat alone a lot, so it may be useful to have someone "seeing" me (i.e. in the mirror). I never eat as crazy when I am with other people as I do when I am alone. Thank you!!! :)

Wannabeskinny
03-23-2014, 09:05 AM
I have downloaded that book and will read it shortly. Also, good tips regarding the mirror and a break. I eat alone a lot, so it may be useful to have someone "seeing" me (i.e. in the mirror). I never eat as crazy when I am with other people as I do when I am alone. Thank you!!! :)

All well and good, just make sure you don't use that mirror as a judge. You need to kill yourself with kindness my dear, don't let negative thoughts get in the way. The mirror is hard to take, maybe leave that out for a few days until you get accustomed to eating mindfully first.

CinnamonApples
03-23-2014, 03:31 PM
Maybe. I haven't used it yet. I am thinking that it would be ideal to simply think less about food and give it less importance (easy to say). I never had to meditate and focus on the food and be mindful when I was a child, but I never had weight/eating problems when I was a child. Food was just food and that's it. Down it quickly and run outside to play. Food had way less space in my mind back then. But of course, life was different then, less stress, more fun and games.

SouthernMaven
03-26-2014, 12:12 PM
I think it says a lot when this thread (and the original one, which exceeded 500 posts requiring this new one) has been resurrected by new people searching for an answer to the never-ending diet-go-round.

I've been re-reading The Overfed Head and I've just re-read the section where he discusses how pregnant women's cravings are accepted and expected, yet we reject those same urges in anyone else's body as being dangerous or somehow not worthy of honoring. It's particularly interesting because Wannabeskinny and I have discussed on other threads how we both ate completely intuitively while pregnant. For me, this began a 20-year cycle of eating intuitively with absolutely no weight gain until my late 40's when I started experiencing a small weight gain due to entering menopause. At this point I began dieting again and I've been battling the weight ever since.

This last few weeks I've found myself suddenly extremely busy. I started a new part-time job, I had jury duty for several days followed by a quick out-of-town trip, and now I'm back and still running. I've given almost zero thought to what I'm eating and have truly only eaten when I'm hungry. I haven't weighed (got rid of that albatross of a scale quite some time ago) but I can tell I've dropped a few pounds by the way my clothes fit.

I still have a way to go, but I can honestly say I'm finding real peace with food at last. I hope others who have stumbled across this thread as well as the many others we have here dealing with intuitive eating can find some answers for themselves.

Wannabeskinny
03-26-2014, 12:41 PM
Ah, the magic of pregnancy and being completely accepting of what your body needs. I spoke about this a little with my nutritional therapist and I suspect it will arise again in a subsequent visit. If only I could be pregnant all the time! What a serene feeling of self-acceptance and abundant love from those around her. I can't remember a time I was more self-nurtured and nurtured by everyone around me more than I was when I was pregnant. I was coddled almost. When a pregnant woman says she wants a cookie people stumble over themselves to get it for her, they don't judge and she doesn't judge herself. I ate everything I wanted during my pregnancy, except for a few restricted foods for obviously reasons (sushi, unpasteurized dairy, undercooked meats etc), but being unrestricted general was the first time I lost weight naturally weighing 10lbs less at the birth of my child than I did when I first got knocked up. It was wild!

And now I know why, because I listened to my body and gave it everything it wanted and everything it asked for. Because I didn't judge myself for the food choices I made. Because I wasn't embarrassed of myself and how I looked, the rounder the better lol!

magical
03-27-2014, 12:14 AM
Popping into the forum after a week and saw this thread and the original one having been resurrected. Wow!

I really agree with the need to adopt a "thinking less of food" mindset. For me, it was really important to pursue activities that kept my mind busy and away from thoughts of food when I was in the transitioning phase and I still do my best to keep my mind active now (be it on work, studies or other activities or events).

Wannabe, thanks for the kind words in your post in the original thread. I'm happy that things are working out with IE.

As for pregnancy, lol, I put on so much weight during pregnancy that everyone was totally shocked! Couldn't help it, I was so nauseous and just wanted to have something in my mouth all the time to get rid of the nausea.

Pinkhippie
04-07-2014, 11:05 PM
I have been practicing IE since I first posted in this thread last year. I have definitely had some bumps along the way. But, I have lost about 20 pounds. And, unlike with dieting, I haven't only been able to maintain it for a week and then shot right back up, I have been hanging out around this weight for a while. I think I started losing weight again recently though. I haven't weighed myself in a while, but I am fitting into pre pregnancy pants and today for the first time in over 2 years, I was able to put my wedding ring back on! :)

Key for me has been to allow myself to eat whatever I want. I had a hard time with this. I had to kind of work up to it. Like first, instead of any treat type thing, I started out with protein bars, then granola bars, then chocolate,then oreos, and then my ultimate ice cream cake. I also made sure to buy a LOT of those, enough where I didn't worry about running out or decide that I needed to stop eating so I would just eat the rest of the box to get it out of the way. When you have 5 boxes in the pantry, that urgency just goes away. Well, it did for me and all those foods lost their forbidden magic. Then I started noticing that I felt like crap after I ate a lot of sugar, wheat and dairy. So I naturally started to look for food that didn't have it. I stopped craving sugary treats all the time and started eating more vegetables and protein. All on my own! And I have tried diets before that tell you not to eat wheat or dairy or sugar and I have lasted only a few days on those before rebounding into mountains of treat food. But when I am doing it for myself because I recognize that I just feel better, well its amazing. I enjoy it. I eat a salad almost every day for lunch now because its delicious and I love how it makes me feel, and gives me energy where as after lunch I used to be dead tired. But, these guidelines couldn't come from outside, they have to come from inside.

I also started tuning into my hunger and trying to eat only when I was hungry and stopping when I was satisfied. This took a LOT of practice. In fact, I feel like I only recently got the hang of this. It took months before I was able to leave the table without the feeling of a hurting stomach because I ate too much. But, I just kept on trying and trying to be mindful. Eating used to be stressful because I was concentrating so hard on if I was full, if I was satisfied, if it still tasted as good. Now, I barely think about it, I just eat until I am satsified. I can tell now. My body actually speaks to me and I finally hear it. I am still working on eating slower though. I still want to race through my meal. Probably because I have 3 small children that I am always dealing with and sometimes eating with. And sometimes, I still do emotionally eat, but that is ok, I just recognize that that is what I am doing and then later try to figure out why I did it. It's totally a process, and not an overnight process. Im still working on it.

Just this week I finally decided I would like to do some exercise. I have been really resistant to exercise because I used to treat exercise like food and when I finally let myself eat anything I wanted, I also gave myself permission to never exercise again if I didn't want to. But, lately I find myself enjoying moving more and I like the feeling I get when I exercise. So I started again. Im hoping because it comes from inside me, that it will be more lasting, like the eating is.

Anyway, sorry for the extreme novel. :)

eta: I just read my last post here from last year and I have to say I was on the right track but I only THOugHT I was legalizing foods. I didn't fully commit to the process and so eventually I ended back up craving sweet things and eating things when I wasn't hungry. It took me a long time to get out of "diet" mindset and even today I sometimes think maybe I should count calories... but I can't bring myself to do it. So yeah, its a long process, at least it has been for me.

eta2: I am obviously not saying it is neccessary to cut down on wheat sugar or dairy, I just noticed that for me I feel worse when I have wheat dairy or sugar right now and I feel better when I don't. That could change at any time, and I am totally open to that. One thing I do notice for me, is when I eat bread I don't feel satisfied and it makes me feel more hungry, the same with sugar. But I still have it if/when I want it. Like yesterday I still had a slice of my birthday cake and enjoyed it. But noticed later that I felt lightheaded, with a sore throat and was hungry again. But still, I chose to have it. :)

Wannabeskinny
04-08-2014, 07:17 AM
Welcome back Pinkhippie and please do stick around to share your experiences with us. I'm so glad that IE has worked out for you long term, 20lbs is an amazing byproduct and I hope that if I lose 20lbs within a year it's because I've kept it off, not because I've gritted through it. There is such a big difference between working hard to lose 20lbs and losing 20lbs without working hard.

My goal for every day is to end the day satisfied with what I ate. I've noticed that when I am not satisfied that the next day becomes more difficult. I'm not seeing any weightloss right now but I haven't gained any over the past couple of weeks since I last weighed. The progress I am making has more to do with state of mind and amount of anxiety which has lessened.

I do have a stressful situation coming up though, Easter with my friends and family. It just so happens that both my best friends have recently lost a bunch of weight and they will both be there, along with another family member of mine who has also lost weight too. We were all about the same size or so and now I fear I'll be the biggest one. Everytime I think about Easter I think about dieting. I won't, but it pops into my mind.

Pinkhippie
04-08-2014, 01:12 PM
Welcome back Pinkhippie and please do stick around to share your experiences with us. I'm so glad that IE has worked out for you long term, 20lbs is an amazing byproduct and I hope that if I lose 20lbs within a year it's because I've kept it off, not because I've gritted through it. There is such a big difference between working hard to lose 20lbs and losing 20lbs without working hard.

My goal for every day is to end the day satisfied with what I ate. I've noticed that when I am not satisfied that the next day becomes more difficult. I'm not seeing any weightloss right now but I haven't gained any over the past couple of weeks since I last weighed. The progress I am making has more to do with state of mind and amount of anxiety which has lessened.

I do have a stressful situation coming up though, Easter with my friends and family. It just so happens that both my best friends have recently lost a bunch of weight and they will both be there, along with another family member of mine who has also lost weight too. We were all about the same size or so and now I fear I'll be the biggest one. Everytime I think about Easter I think about dieting. I won't, but it pops into my mind.

Thank you! I hope to stick around more and have more to share as well. :)

I know exactly what you are talking about with gritting through it. Every time I diet and count calories I feel like I am barely hanging on and I go in the bathroom to look in the mirror at least once a day to see if I look thinner. It is not maintainable for me. This time has been, I wouldn't say easy but its been doable. The not easy part has been more just being aware when I eat if I am really hungry, learning new habits like not going to town on ice cream after I get the kids in bed, etc... but I feel like I am just living and just eating so its not been hard at all in that sense. I have also been doing a lot of emotional work as well and that has been difficult but rewarding.

I know what you mean about social events. Those always make me want to diet down to something quickly. But, I know that it will for sure trigger crazy bingeing for me, and I will actually gain weight so it won't be worth it in the end. If you are feeling anxious about it, maybe go buy a new outfit that you feel really good in? Do something awesome with your hair? those are things I do (if I can afford it) if I am anxious before a big social event.

I really like the idea of stopping halfway through the meal and coming back a few minutes later. I actually did that for lunch just now and was surprised to realize I wasn't hungry anymore. I have lots of opportunities to jump up and do stuff during mealtime since I have 3 kids who have constant needs the moment I sit down to eat myself, so that has been pretty easy.

I had another slice of birthday cake last night and it was good. I had the crazy thought in my head that I would let myself eat the whole rest of the cake if I wanted to, but I realized that after most of my slice, I really was satisfied (and feeling buzzy) so I stopped. And I didn't feel all gross and stuffed and like I needed to eat vegetables or fruit to make up for it, therefore stuffing myself more, OR feeling guilty and deciding just to eat everything in the house until I can't move. I ate my slice, recognized that it was good but didn't make me feel the greatest, and left it at that. I didn't eat again until breakfast this morning and it was fine. I really have come far. :)

CountryLiving
04-08-2014, 02:00 PM
I just found this thread. I've been struggling with IE for over a year. My biggest issue is emotional eating. I know food won't solve the problem but I still do it. This thread has been very inspirational.

SouthernMaven
04-08-2014, 09:47 PM
I eat a salad almost every day for lunch now because its delicious and I love how it makes me feel, and gives me energy where as after lunch I used to be dead tired. But, these guidelines couldn't come from outside, they have to come from inside.



Congratulations on your 20 lb loss, Pinkhippie.

That, and the line that I bolded, sums up success with Intuitive Eating.

Well done.

Wannabehealthy
04-09-2014, 10:15 AM
I have battled overeating for years. Up a few pounds, down a few, and every time the loss was less than the gain, so I ended up where I am. I have diabetes and my blood sugars have been out of control for a while. I recently decided that I don't want to lose my eyesight or any limbs, so I'd better do something.

Although I have tried every diet plan known to man, I finally quit dieting. I changed my eating habits permanently. I made 2 major changes. 1) I cut way back on carbs to lower my BS and 2) I researched nutrition. Before I eat anything I consider the nutritional value of that food. Cookies, cake, candy, chips, pretzels, have no nutritional value, and for some reason unknown to me, I now have no interest in eating them. I might eat too much at dinner, but if I do, it's nutritional food, not empty calories. This is a major change for me, as I have been a binger for many years. The weight is coming off, slowly, but surely, and my blood sugar average has dropped about 70 points.

I think for me it took something major threatening my life to make me change. I will always be a carb binger. I will never be able to go back to the way I ate before, for health reasons. I doubt if I could ever eat a slice of pizza without wanting to finish the whole thing. It's similar to alcoholism. Most of you girls sound young. I hope that you are all able to get a handle on this issue. Don't wait until you're an old lady!! LOL