Weight Loss Support - My weight loss has become everyone's business




IanG
05-29-2013, 08:30 PM
I am becoming a firm believer in the toilet roll theory bounced around here that as you lose more, further losses are more noticeable.

I used to crave for people to notice my efforts but today was a bit over the top. Almost everyone I met spoke about it. I don't mind the one-on-one conversations much but we had a work meeting today and several members from the group were firing questions at me about my weight loss that made me feel quite uncomfortable and self-conscious. They were asking everything, from how much I had lost, to my goal weight, to whether my new clothes were just to show off my new look (answer: no, I needed new clothes else my pants would be around my ankles.)

From day one, I knew I would have to ignore what other people said or thought about my journey. But it was tough today. And I imagine it will only get tougher for a while yet.

There remain, however, a trusted few that never mention my weight loss. They are good friends.


PUPMOM5
05-29-2013, 08:57 PM
Right now, I work at the front desk at a vet. Most of our clients are very friendly, and I like them a lot... But now that I've lost so much, I am getting a lot of comments. They're all supportive, but it makes me feel incredibly anxious. I have social anxiety anyway - I've lived with it a very, very long time and I do very well but I have a desperate need to be invisible and I'm not getting that so much anymore.

Sum38
05-29-2013, 09:02 PM
I LOVE it when people notice my weight loss. It makes me feel good about my progress and how hard I have worked at it. Maybe I am vain??


bargoo
05-29-2013, 09:08 PM
I don't mind people noticing , it is the questions that Ian has described that annoy me. I give vague answers. Have you lost weight ? Oh, yeah , a little. How much? Some . How much more are you planning to lose ? I don't know yet.

IanG
05-29-2013, 09:09 PM
My "issue" is I don't want to be making excuses to people for what I am doing. I feel (perhaps wrongly) that some people clearly had me pigeon-holed in one box and want to know why I have moved to another.

So the "why did you" or "what are you doing" questions are pretty tough. The good answer would be "well, I'd be dead pretty soon if I kept going like I was dim-sh!t", but because I can't say that I am left in a vulnerable place of ums and ers.

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 09:09 PM
:hug: A friendly hug for you Ian. You have worked so hard and done so well, of course the compliments and questions are flying at you. But I totally understand not wanting to be the center of the conversation, esp. when it's weight related. There is so much emotion wrapped up in weightloss for me and that's not something I want to share in the workplace or with acquaintances. But I guess it's impossible for us too hide for too long. :)

IanG
05-29-2013, 09:34 PM
Thanks guys.

Well, I am going to wear a bright pink shirt (tailored fit) and tie tomorrow, as I will be going out for dinner after work. So I will kinda be asking for it I suppose.

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 09:37 PM
Thanks guys.

Well, I am going to wear a bright pink shirt (tailored fit) and tie tomorrow, as I will be going out for dinner after work. So I will kinda be asking for it I suppose.

Ok....I don't have your back on this one ;) ....a bright pink shirt is asking for conversation about your body and clothes!!

IanG
05-29-2013, 09:39 PM
Hmm. Decisions. Decisions.

I guess it can't get any worse.

Sum38
05-29-2013, 09:44 PM
Oooh, you should definitely wear it! I personally think that men in pink, are hot!

IanG
05-29-2013, 09:48 PM
Thanks Sum. It is a great shirt. And with black pants and black shiney shoes too. This is going to be a tough call.

Happymomof2
05-29-2013, 09:50 PM
I have thought it quite odd that one of the first things people ask is "how much have you lost?" Would they ever dare ask "how much have you gained?" if it were opposite?! People can be intrusive and some , I have experienced, down right rude. I.e : " don't get rid of your fat clothes just in case!"

You are doing this, I assume, for you. You have every right to have boundaries about your journey, it's no one else's but yours. You have done amazing, you should be very proud!

Happymomof2
05-29-2013, 09:51 PM
PS: i love a man in a pink shirt... Go for it!!

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 09:52 PM
Sometimes men in pink are HOT, HOT, HOT:
http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/pink1_zps8c642649.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/pink1_zps8c642649.jpg.html)

Sometimes not so much:
http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/pink2_zps31691ba9.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/pink2_zps31691ba9.jpg.html)

Sum38
05-29-2013, 09:55 PM
Hehe Elvis.

Sum38
05-29-2013, 09:56 PM
And you should listen to Sum, Ian! -- One thing I know in this world is fashion ;)

ETA: My hubby looks like a male model how I dress him. Ya, in pink as well.

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 09:56 PM
I miss Lunarsongbird. She had pictures for EVERYTHING!!

And Ian, your clothes sound perfect to me. I was just giving you a hard time. :)

IanG
05-29-2013, 09:56 PM
LOL. It is definitely a plain shirt and tie. I'll post a pic tomorrow. But won't read the responses because it will be too late to do much about it by then.

And if Sum says it's good, then it's good.

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 09:58 PM
(And I was just thinking...we made your weight and clothes our business in this thread...oops!)

IanG
05-29-2013, 10:00 PM
Yeah Elvis, but my business is your business on 3FC!

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 10:01 PM
Yeah Elvis, but my business is your business on 3FC!

Ok good!!! :D

Emma4545
05-29-2013, 10:04 PM
I have noticed this kind of snow ball effect. Perhaps it is different on men. But last year I went from 160 to 155 pretty fast. Since it was only 5 lbs... I didn't understand why people went insane at work, but I have come to conclude that there are certain key points where it takes less weight to have more for me.. 160 and up it takes 10 lbs to go up or down a size. 210 and up it takes 15 lbs to go up or down a size. But under 160 it takes only about 5 lbs to go up or down a size.

Congrats on people noticing. More incentive for more weight loss.

Sum38
05-29-2013, 10:07 PM
So pink shirt it is then, and we want pix!

Garnet2727
05-29-2013, 10:22 PM
My "issue" is I don't want to be making excuses to people for what I am doing. I feel (perhaps wrongly) that some people clearly had me pigeon-holed in one box and want to know why I have moved to another.

So the "why did you" or "what are you doing" questions are pretty tough. The good answer would be "well, I'd be dead pretty soon if I kept going like I was dim-sh!t", but because I can't say that I am left in a vulnerable place of ums and ers.

I'm generally not arsed about people noticing and commenting on my weight loss. I'm actually gratified by it unless they're being snotty. I tend to answer the "why did you" question with TMI, though. "I started losing weight because I was over 300 pounds, insulin resistant and heading towards diabetes, terribly out of shape, in a lot of pain from arthritis, had high cholesterol, couldn't stand up straight, could barely get in and out of my car, couldn't walk 50 feet without huffing and puffing, and my feet and ankles felt like they were full of broken glass. Oh, and I was so miserable I wanted to die." The response I usually get from that is, "Oh." :devil:

IanG
05-29-2013, 10:28 PM
Thanks Garnet! I'll write that on the back of my hand for next time.

Garnet2727
05-29-2013, 10:30 PM
Lol! If you really want to give them TMI, (this was true for me, probably not for you but you could use it anyway) mention that you were so big that you had trouble wiping your rear end after defecating. I actually said that to a Nosy Nellie one time. It was kind of fun to watch her splutter and turn red. It's funny, for some reason she never asked me another question about it.

Mozzy
05-29-2013, 10:30 PM
Hugs

IanG
05-29-2013, 10:38 PM
I'm thinking a T-shirt with that last one on Garnet!

Garnet2727
05-29-2013, 10:44 PM
:devil: Toilet paper on a stick!

OK, I'll stop now.

I think I need to go to bed. :dizzy:

wannaskipandlaugh
05-29-2013, 10:49 PM
I have to say IAN.. I dated a guy... (David) who's nickname was Pinky as he wore a pink shirt in his band and HE was Something ooohhhh my....

I was trying my best to not get out of hand tonight... but I had to say something :)

and yes... weight loss is noones business... but compliments are nice to hear as long as they are not tarnished with questions. :)

MAK247
05-29-2013, 10:53 PM
At my work we wear smocks that are basically trash bags with sleeves. I have asked a couple friends at work if they notice a difference and they have all been rather blunt and said no. :( I can barely even notice a difference myself, and I've lost 30 lbs...My only real 'aha!' moment was in the car and looked down, my fat didn't block the view of the seat belt. :D

I would take people's questions and comments with a grain of salt, they may not have any tact about it but probably mean no harm. :)

elvislover324
05-29-2013, 10:57 PM
I was trying my best to not get out of hand tonight...


You Sue??? Out of hand??!! You are one of the sweetest, kindest people on this site. I have never seen even one hint of you getting out of hand!! :)

But I wouldn't object to see Wild Sue in action around this place!!! :D

JohnP
05-29-2013, 11:09 PM
Pictures of the pink shirt or it didn't happen. :D

wannaskipandlaugh
05-29-2013, 11:11 PM
You Sue??? Out of hand??!! You are one of the sweetest, kindest people on this site. I have never seen even one hint of you getting out of hand!! :)

But I wouldn't object to see Wild Sue in action around this place!!! :D

OHHH that would be something.. Hmmm I know I have a bottle of 1800 Tequila around here somewhere LOL Truly I just get sillier hhhmmm Losing weight has done that too to me HHMMMMMM

memememe76
05-29-2013, 11:31 PM
I used to crave for people to notice my efforts but today was a bit over the top.

I think that's the key. Most people believe that if they lost weight they would want everyone to know so they have no problems making mention of your progress.

As for people not saying anything when people gain weight, what about pregnant women? Don't people constantly want to touch your stomach? And amongst men, male friends will "go there" with each other.

SuperHeroTeacher
05-30-2013, 12:14 AM
I will be checking this thread all day tomorrow to see the hotness - Ian in his pink shirt! I love a man in a shirt & tie anyway, but a PINK shirt and tie, I may just swoon...

IanG
05-30-2013, 07:00 AM
I will need to take the picture at work because my nice shoes are there and not here. I'm taking a spare shirt just in case.

If I get caught taking a picture of myself in the men's restroom, this could go so wrong in so many ways.

Kitcherella
05-30-2013, 07:09 AM
If I get caught taking a picture of myself in the men's restroom, this could go so wrong in so many ways.

Once again, I am laughing in front of the computer. :lol:

sacha
05-30-2013, 07:20 AM
Part of the problem with being so noticed is that now you're dealing with additional outside pressure about regaining. In theory, people might think that would help keep them in check but I personally found that to be quite depressing. After I re-lost the weight, people said to me "yeah, you were getting pretty big there again for a while"~ ugh

kmac1196
05-30-2013, 07:26 AM
What is this "toilet roll theory?" I often wonder why so few people have noticed my weight loss when I think it's blatantly apparent. Hmmmmm.......I'm asking for it, huh?

IanG
05-30-2013, 10:01 AM
Here is the pic. It's pink alright.

I have to survive a day at work like this.

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/attachments/weight-loss-support/44670d1369918863-my-weight-loss-has-become-everyones-business-img096.jpg

elvislover324
05-30-2013, 10:07 AM
I LOVE it!!! It's refreshing and summery, you are good to go!!!

And..Ian...you look SKINNY!!!! Be prepared for lots of compliments today. You look awesome!!!

IanG
05-30-2013, 10:10 AM
Thanks Elvis.

Chronostasis
05-30-2013, 10:18 AM
Looking sharp, Ian! I like the pink. :)

ikesgirl80
05-30-2013, 10:24 AM
Looking good Ian! Pink is your color!

mygirlvj
05-30-2013, 10:29 AM
Love, love, love, the pink shirt. You totally pull it off. Good for you.

bethFromDayton
05-30-2013, 10:30 AM
Oooh, you should definitely wear it! I personally think that men in pink, are hot!

That is exactly what I was about to post! (I think men in tuxes are hot, too, but that might be too formal for your dinner outing.)

fadedbluejeans
05-30-2013, 10:30 AM
What is this "toilet roll theory?"

When you have a new roll, its circumference is large, so it takes a while for it to start shrinking. Once it gets going though, the circumference is smaller so it disappears faster and faster. It's the same with people. When you lose weight you lose a little bit from all over your body. If you start out very large, you lose a little bit from a large total area, so it's not as noticeable as when you start getting smaller and losing the same amount from a smaller total area.

fadedbluejeans
05-30-2013, 10:31 AM
Oh and, I love the shirt Ian!

bethFromDayton
05-30-2013, 10:34 AM
Woah, Ian--you do look hot in pink! And you look GREAT--your hard work is really obvious!

IanG
05-30-2013, 10:46 AM
*Blush*

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and confidence boost.

It is going to be a big day! You've made sure of that!

Sum38
05-30-2013, 12:34 PM
Waiting for the pix (from the men's room)...getting impatient over here...tap...tap

elvislover324
05-30-2013, 12:40 PM
Sum, it's posted at 9:01am on page 3. He looks great!

JohnP
05-30-2013, 12:43 PM
Nice! Love the shine on your shoes.

Sum38
05-30-2013, 12:44 PM
Ah, how did I miss it??!! Thanks Elvis. Ian...sizzling HOT. And I love the pose; a man with confidence! Wow, wow and wow!

betsy2013
05-30-2013, 01:03 PM
I missed this whole thread yesterday, but got to say Ian, you look good in the pink shirt and the diet is obviously working. Way to go.

On the comments side. If I get a nosy question, I just answer it with a question. How much have you lost? Why would you ask that? What made you want to lose? Why would you ask that? How did you do this? How do you think I did this? The only people who get something other than the glacier treatment are those who very sincerely compliment me, ask for suggestions, and obviously are in pain (emotionally and physically probably) with their own weight issues.

You are an inspiration! And a hottie to boot -- just thinking that you may not consider a 63 year old telling you you're a hottie as a good thing, but it's meant with love and good humor.

joefla70
05-30-2013, 01:18 PM
Looking good, Ian. Nix that.... Looking fantastic! Congrats on your success!

Since you are so close to your goal, when you get there have you have a plan for maintaining (since you're losing at a fairly big rate now)?

joefla70
05-30-2013, 01:24 PM
Waiting for the pix (from the men's room)...getting impatient over here...tap...tap

LOL Sum. You post -- if read out of context -- is reminiscent of the Senator Larry Craig scandal. Tap tap! :)

Silverfire
05-30-2013, 01:28 PM
Wowzers Ian!! You are totally kick @ss!! You are rocking that pink shirt too :D Those are some crazy shiny shoes there too lol!

Keep doing what you are doing man!

P.S. Love the bottom bit of your sig!!!

crispin
05-30-2013, 01:33 PM
Looking fit!

SuperHeroTeacher
05-30-2013, 01:36 PM
Wow! Looking great Ian!!! You're downright skinny!!!

IanG
05-30-2013, 01:43 PM
Wowzers. I certainly have a fan club! Thanks for all the replies.

My shirt has received a rather mixed reception at work. Virtually all the ladies like it, some a lot. And virtually all of the men "would not wear it".

Sounds like a winning combination to me!

But you told me it would be, so thanks!

elvislover324
05-30-2013, 01:54 PM
My shirt has received a rather mixed reception at work. Virtually all the ladies like it, some a lot. And virtually all of the men "would not wear it".


I think you have to have a certain fun personality to pull off a pink shirt and you have that down! Plus you are looking good, plus you have that British accent. What's not for the girls to love and the guys to not be jealous about!?! :love:

PreciousMissy
05-30-2013, 02:05 PM
You look awesome!

bethFromDayton
05-30-2013, 02:57 PM
My shirt has received a rather mixed reception at work. Virtually all the ladies like it, some a lot. And virtually all of the men "would not wear it".

Sounds like a winning combination to me!

If you're only going to please 50% with your appearance, you picked the right 50% :devil:.

I have a (straight) friend who is a dance instructor. He often teaches dance at social events where there are a lot of teenaged boys. He points out to them (and the smart ones listen) that women love to dance. :carrot: They might feel silly at first and the other guys might laugh, but the dancers will be the ones on the dance floor with the women while the non-dancing men will be talking to each other. Who'll be laughing then?

DH didn't wear bright colored clothes when we met. Neat, put together--BORING earth tones. He now wears bright colors (why? because that's what I put in his closet). He gets lots more compliments. Some men just look great in bright colors!

Garnet2727
05-30-2013, 06:14 PM
Ian, you ROCK that shirt and time combo! Well done!

IanG
05-30-2013, 06:15 PM
Thanks. I have had some amazing reactions from ladies today. Some quite provocative and which I thought only men did towards women (e.g. thumbs up, nods, hugs, OK hand gestures, winking).

Dinner soon. So the tie has come off for the day, but the shirt remains firmly in play!

charliee
05-30-2013, 07:44 PM
And..Ian...you look SKINNY!!!! Be prepared for lots of compliments today. You look awesome!!!

This x 100000!!!

You look great Ian!! Congrats!

wannaskipandlaugh
05-30-2013, 09:27 PM
Wow... You even look thinner than that other image you posted in our 5lbs area. That color is just wonderful on you! Such a striking man! No wonder all the women were offering you words of praise and the guys were being Nimnuts.... (They don't like competition and you sir are!)

Gosh... you are such a wonder and I hope you hug yourself tonight and tell yourself that you are marvelous! and yes.... I know that that shirt is gonna get too big REAL SOON! :)

Lolo70
05-30-2013, 10:02 PM
Shirt is a winner. Perfect color.

IanG
05-31-2013, 07:38 AM
A big thank you and hugs to everyone for helping me out yesterday with the encouragement and opinions on my attire!

The pink shirt and tie was an amazing success.

The dinner was fantastic. I removed my tie for that but several ladies asked me to put my tie back on! A few had not even seen the tie but had heard about it from other ladies and wanted to see me wearing it!

It was hilarious and attention of the nice kind as it was about my clothes and not (directly) about my weight.

So thanks to all. You are my guiding lights!

And you got my back!

My next social adventure is mixed doubles tennis on Monday.

Followed by bowling on Tuesday. I think I have an outfit for that which may also need to be previewed...

Anyway, up 1lb today after the big meal last night so it's out for a run.

Have a good Friday and I will be back posting (not posing) tonight.