Weight Loss Support - any other moms of littles have a hard time getting out to exercise?




rubidoux
05-26-2013, 05:51 PM
I'm so frustrated! Why is it that when we're all sitting around the house, hubby can yell from the front door, "be back in a while!" and be off on his run, but I have to beg and cheat in order to get a workout in.

Yesterday, he went out for his run, when he came back, there was almost no time for my exercise before we had to meet people at the beach. He said he figured we could just be late and I could get my workout in. But we were going at 4 pm and I felt bad about the idea of my kids getting there when it'd be getting cold, so I cut my workout in half. I figured that today would be my big workout day this weekend.

So this morning I ask him when he thinks would be a good time for my run bc I don't want to risk running out of time again as we're going to a bbq tonight. So, he says he'll think about it and the next thing I know he's at the door yelling "be back in a while!" Sigh... So, I think I'll just go about my business and do all the stuff I need to for the bbq, costco, etc... And when he gets home I'm getting out of the shower to go shopping and he's like, "what're you doing? aren't you going out for your walk? why take a shower before you workout?"

Well... at that point I just was not mentally ready to do my workout. I was completely not in the mindset. So I say I'd rather do it later before the bbq, but he doesn't like that idea. So, I say fine I'm going. I get ready. It's 1:15 and he says "be home by 2!" So I say, alright, yesterday I got 30 min, half of what I wanted to do, thinking I'd make up for it today. I'm ok with a short workout today but tomorrow, I want a long leisurely time to do my workout. But no, of course there's some reason that that cannot happen. I seriously think he was out for well over an hour on his run today. :mad:

Does anyone else have this problem? I feel like he's all liberated in every other area, but he just can't see that this is important to me, even though his running is hugely important to him.


sacha
05-26-2013, 06:25 PM
I have a 6 month old and 3 year old. I'd have trouble too if I was trying to run outdoors - I use kettlebells at home as well as a gym membership with childcare. I go 6x a week and the kids are dealt with by others, lol!

I would try and find some form of exercise that is more practical when there are kids. I love to run outside too but there's just so many other things to do.

GlamourGirl827
05-26-2013, 06:36 PM
First I'm sorry that life (and hubby?) have somehow pushed your workouts to the very very back burner...**** its not even on the stove anymore, its like on the counter waiting for a burner! ;)

I can kind of relate. My DH is not a runner, or an exerciser at all. Now before I was pregnant this time (I have a 5 year old and 3 year old), we had some similar issues, in that he kind of doesn't like being stuck watching the kids while I workout. Its weird because he's ok with watching them while I do school work, or cook, or even if I were to go out shopping, but working out, he kind of sees that as a waste of time, so when I disappear to do it, I think he feel frustrated.

I noticed you ask you hubby when would be a good time for you to work out. While I can see that you are trying to be considerate I think this type of approach has backfured, especially since he said he;s think about it!

I noticed with my DH I had to basically make my workout that 500 pound gorilla in the room. I had to advocate for it, stand up for it, defend it, carve out a time for it, and dig my heals in for that time slot. I wasn't a complete tool about it lol. I realized that first thing in the morning was the best time. I got up before anyone else woke up and went out to run. And that was it. At first hubby wasn't thrilled with having to get up with the kids, but I had to stand my ground. ANd it was way easier than trying to get out the door once everyone was awake! THere was always an excuse for me not to!

Try scheduling your runs. I did this with long runs. I scheduled them for later in the morning on weekends hubby was home. And I let him know a week in advance. And reminded him. And yes the day would come and he'd say "lets go to XYZ" and I've say after my run. My run was not important to him, so I had to make it super important to me, or else he'd wipe it off the do to list without a second thought.


Scedule your runs. Do it a week or even a month ahead, what ever works for you. And remind him. And that's your time. If you notice he tend to go out around the same time (same 1pm) then schedule your for 11am. Grad the first schedule block so you arent the one waiting around and you aren't losing time off your run for later day activities. For something like a BBQ you probably knew a few days in advance? If you have to move a run up for something added to the schedule that week, like the BBQ then do it, but don;t let activities crowd out your runs.

It sounds like you DH just goes without worrying about the time or what has to be done. Mine is like that with showers...yes showers...we could have somewhere to be at 9am, and I will set my alarm so that I allow enough time to shower, get dressed, make breakfast for me and the kids, and get them ready. He always just acts like he only has to get himself ready! He gets up last minute and jumps in the shower. There have been a few times I have purposely left the kids for him to get ready after his shower, and you know what? We were late!! He does NOT think about getting teh kids ready and does not allow for that task. I tell him, as a parent that should be a natural part of your existance and that just thinking for himself went out the window years ago...but mayeb its just men, idk...but yes I know what you mean about they just live freely. Kind of like they *know* someone else will take care of the details.

But like I said you have to make your runs important to you and show that you will not allow him to make them optional. This is the boat I will be in when this baby is born, because I will be staying inside on my treadmill until I feel comfortable "running" out side, (I have a lot of weight to lose before then) anyway when I am inside, there is this idea that I should stop my morning workout to get the kids (and new baby) when they wake up. Going outside meant my workout was UNINTERRUPTED!!! :carrot::carrot:


Arctic Mama
05-26-2013, 06:52 PM
I'd have a hard time if I was running or going to the gym. The only way I get it in is in the evenings while my husband is doing his part of the day with the kids (bath/reading bedtime stories) and I do my T-Tap. I cannot get in a more physically extensive workout in a short period of time than that one - I only need 15-20 minutes most days, or an hour for the veeeery longest DVDs, to get a rigorous workout. Thus, I can fit it in because I do it in my bedroom with my iPad or in front of the tv downstairs (it only requires four square feet of space to complete).

I even disassembled my recumbent bike because the duration of the workouts for adequate physical exercise were too long, and it took up too much space. And I have resistance bands that have been gathering dust because I get a better strength workout from the body resistance moves of T-tap than I do with the strength program of the bands. Works more muscles at once, generally :)

So that's me - there are lots of things that can be done by mommies - I did my DVDs until the last two weeks of pregnancy, and with my last two newborns I have been consistently working out. But since I do my bible study in the early morning, homeschool and chores all day, and my husband isn't available to help until 7 pm each night, it is a definite challenge to get in a normal workout that isn't quite as comprehensive and effective as the one I'm doing. There just isn't much time for an actual 'workout' that isn't just the normal activity of working around the house. It can be done, but it takes planning and prioritizing. Things like bands, DVDs, kettle bells, plank/pull-ups/burpee/push-up/lunge sequences and the like are going to give you the most bang for your time and and buck at home with smalls, I think.

sacha
05-26-2013, 07:00 PM
I'd have a hard time if I was running or going to the gym. .

I forgot my shoes yesterday so I ended up working out at the gym in bare feet and occasional flip flops. After herding the children into a van and driving there and checking them into gym daycare, there's no darn way I'm going to turn back!!!! :D

sacha
05-26-2013, 07:04 PM
BTW I totally agree with you Arctic Mama. There are lots of things we can do. I think for me, the hardest part was accepting that I was a mom of young kids and I couldn't just go do XYZ like I could before hand. Once I really searched out the other possibilities, it was not so hard.

I don't personally like 'trading off' workouts with my husband, between the two of us, that uses up 2+ hours daily of together time. I'd much rather train at the same time as him and use some form of adapted workout/public gym with childcare.

Arctic Mama
05-26-2013, 08:02 PM
I forgot my shoes yesterday so I ended up working out at the gym in bare feet and occasional flip flops. After herding the children into a van and driving there and checking them into gym daycare, there's no darn way I'm going to turn back!!!! :D

Ha! I know, right? The effort of getting everyone into the car is almost a workout in and of itself. I had everyone dressed, changed, and herded the other day, only to have the car not start! After the half hour of planning and prep I just about cried :tantrum:

Arctic Mama
05-26-2013, 08:05 PM
BTW I totally agree with you Arctic Mama. There are lots of things we can do. I think for me, the hardest part was accepting that I was a mom of young kids and I couldn't just go do XYZ like I could before hand. Once I really searched out the other possibilities, it was not so hard.

I don't personally like 'trading off' workouts with my husband, between the two of us, that uses up 2+ hours daily of together time. I'd much rather train at the same time as him and use some form of adapted workout/public gym with childcare.

That's actually a great idea. My husband doesn't work out, he doesn't care or seem to need much beyond home improvement projects and chasing the kids around, so I don't hassle him about it. Otherwise we'd probably do the same thing. The cost of the gym and the childcare is pretty prohibitive for us, it's be $40 per day we worked out! Thus for just me I couldn't justify it on our budget. But if both of us were going multiple times a week, together, it would make a lot more sense.

I'm just so grateful I found something a) highly effective, b) extremely inexpensive when amortized over the period of usage, and c) minimally time intensive. It was like angels singing, even as my abs and quads were shrieking :D

GlamourGirl827
05-26-2013, 08:19 PM
That's actually a great idea. My husband doesn't work out, he doesn't care or seem to need much beyond home improvement projects and chasing the kids around, so I don't hassle him about it. Otherwise we'd probably do the same thing. The cost of the gym and the childcare is pretty prohibitive for us, it's be $40 per day we worked out! Thus for just me I couldn't justify it on our budget. But if both of us were going multiple times a week, together, it would make a lot more sense.

I'm just so grateful I found something a) highly effective, b) extremely inexpensive when amortized over the period of usage, and c) minimally time intensive. It was like angels singing, even as my abs and quads were shrieking :D

Expensive! THat is the main reason I dropped the gym membership a few years back. $50 for the month then $20 a month per child! That's $90 a month, I just could do it at this point, maybe in the furture.

GlamourGirl827
05-26-2013, 08:22 PM
BTW I totally agree with you Arctic Mama. There are lots of things we can do. I think for me, the hardest part was accepting that I was a mom of young kids and I couldn't just go do XYZ like I could before hand. Once I really searched out the other possibilities, it was not so hard.

I don't personally like 'trading off' workouts with my husband, between the two of us, that uses up 2+ hours daily of together time. I'd much rather train at the same time as him and use some form of adapted workout/public gym with childcare.

Very good point. As of now my husband does not work out but after the baby, he SWEARS! this time he is going to address his weight, and the thought has crossed my mind that the two of us switching off means a big chunk of time out of our together time. Thats the other reason I work out in the AM (or will be again) because I get up at like 5am, by the time I'm done everyone is just waking up or has only been up for a little while, really only his workout is the one that takes up time...unless I have a long run...gotta see if he starts working out this time around and we'll cross that bridge then.

sacha
05-26-2013, 08:41 PM
That's actually a great idea. My husband doesn't work out, he doesn't care or seem to need much beyond home improvement projects and chasing the kids around, so I don't hassle him about it. Otherwise we'd probably do the same thing. The cost of the gym and the childcare is pretty prohibitive for us, it's be $40 per day we worked out! Thus for just me I couldn't justify it on our budget. But if both of us were going multiple times a week, together, it would make a lot more sense.

I'm just so grateful I found something a) highly effective, b) extremely inexpensive when amortized over the period of usage, and c) minimally time intensive. It was like angels singing, even as my abs and quads were shrieking :D

I think if I lived in Alaska I wouldn't go to a gym either! I am originally from British Columbia and had a gym outside all day long :( It sucks here LOL, just flat and boring!!!

forkeeps
05-26-2013, 11:08 PM
My husband and I set up a schedule. He gets to walk/run after dinner on MWF, I get to go T-Th and the weekends. If it's too dark after dinner to run (I run on a bike trail nearby that closes at dark), I will just walk the neighborhood.

Sometimes he'll go with me on my days, or I'll go with him on his days, and bring the four year old with us. Since she can't walk as far as we want, when she gets tired the person whose day it's NOT, takes her home while the other person can finish the route.

Though often hubby walks a couple miles during his lunch hour at work, which means I get his time slot that night.

Starting this week I want to add an extra run on Wednesdays, so I am going to experiment with getting up early and running while he's getting ready for work. I'm not a morning person, so we'll see if that works.

Wannabeskinny
05-27-2013, 08:41 AM
This really gets my goat, I can really relate to this! I tell people that being married without kids is like being single with someone to come home to. I remember being my own priority, exercising in the morning, having my own social life, spontaneous weekend trips away with my girlfriends and it was awesome! Now with a baby and having slashed my work schedule (cause we can't afford childcare) it's me and baby being mostly supported by hubby's paycheck.

Hubby knows how important it is to me to work out, especially since I've gained weight since the birth! But his work comes first and when he walks in the door from work he's all like "I gotta run to the bank" or "I have to go to home depot" or something else important. It's like he only accounts for his own activities and I get the back burner no matter what!

I know men don't mean this intentionally to hurt us they're just prioritizing themselves as they always do and we prioritize our families, as we always do! We're always sacrificing ourselves for everyone's benefit! Your husband doesn't even consider you when he plans his runs because they're important to him and he doesn't even ask you if he can go. All that says to me is that his time is important and you're just supposed to fit in around him. Luckily my hubby and I are working on this and this might help you too:

1. Talk to him about how he prioritizes his work out over your work out and that can't happen anymore. You're a family and you need to help each other take care of yourselves. Get this through to him right away so that he understands that he's consistently valuing himself over you.

2. Create a schedule. Whether it's going to the gym, runs, or whatever, try to carve out the time where each of you can accomplish something for yourself. And don't ask him when it'd be a good time for you to work out because then he'll make a decision you won't like. Claim what time you want to work out, just like he does.

3. Stick to the schedule!

If all else fails then do this.... I've done this a few times and it totally works! You know what time he comes home right? Be dressed for your work out, shoes on and keys in hand. As soon as he walks through the door walk right past him and say "be back in a while, going for my run!" He's left you with no choice so stick it to him lol!

Wannabeskinny
05-27-2013, 08:42 AM
By the way, there are other options to consider. I don't know how old your kids are but I only have one and I've considered buying a jogging stroller. That might be an option.

Also, my gym offers free child care. I can take LO to the gym with me and he's in full view on the monitor as I work out.

rubidoux
05-28-2013, 08:27 PM
I knew I wan't the only one! ;) There're so many good ideas here, and some I had not considered at all. Not sure if I'm ready to, but if it comes to that... I really like walking and zumba and I'm not sure if I'd be willing to trade that in for something I can do in the living room or pay a gym membership.

By the way, there are other options to consider. I don't know how old your kids are but I only have one and I've considered buying a jogging stroller. That might be an option.

Also, my gym offers free child care. I can take LO to the gym with me and he's in full view on the monitor as I work out.

My younger one is 4 1/2 and hasn't been in a stroller in about 1 1/2 years. I'd love to get one and try that, but I feel like I'd need a pretty good stroller to made it a good workout and then what if he rejects it? I don't mind the idea of the stroller, though. I used to get awesome workouts when my older one was little and in the stoller. We did hills together and I think he liked it. :D

Lecomtes
05-28-2013, 08:43 PM
"If all else fails then do this.... I've done this a few times and it totally works! You know what time he comes home right? Be dressed for your work out, shoes on and keys in hand. As soon as he walks through the door walk right past him and say "be back in a while, going for my run!" He's left you with no choice so stick it to him lol!"
Hahaha! Hilarious suggestion. :) I have to say, I finally got a decent treadmill at home and it sure it nice to have around! I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old, they jump on a little inflatable bounce house thing (best money I ever spent, lol) while I hop on the treadmill. Doesn't always result in hour long workouts, but it's something! I wish you luck.

zoesmom
05-28-2013, 09:30 PM
I sat down and had a heart to heart with my husband. I WILL get an hour, TO MYSELF, EVERY DAY, whether he likes it or not. It is set on the alarm clock, 6:30 till 7:30 pm is MY time. I don't care when he takes his time, I don't care how long he takes his time, he will NOT take my time or I will go to my mother's. Of course, he thought it was a bit harsh, and in retrospect, it might have been, but after several months of him pushing me to the back burner, I simply snapped. Since then, I get an hour, every day, from 6:30 till 7:30, except on days we have other arrangements, in which my time is moved to another slot in advance, since we always know our schedule. It helped our relationship...he knows I need my time and I know I am going to finally get it

banananutmuffin
05-29-2013, 09:37 AM
My kids are 5 and 2 years old, and I got a bun in the oven. I know exactly how you feel. I have a double jogging stroller that I never use because it looks odd to put my (tall) 5 year old in it (too big for stroller!).

My idea of a "workout" used to be a hard or long run, but I had to modify that once I had kids. Especially once I had two. God only knows what I'll do with three.

As much as it goes against my idea of what a workout should be, I've had to modify my fitness regime a bit. And some may call me a terrible mother, but I've also had to utilize some less-than-productive entertainment for my young ones in order to squeeze in that workout. For example, often I jump on the treadmill (which I moved to my bedroom) first thing in the morning. To occupy the kids, I give them something to drink and let them watch TV in the room next to mine. This gives me about 50 minutes of peace. Or I give them their Nabis (tablets for kids). I'll do whatever it takes to get that almost-hour of exercise, even if it means entertaining them with mind-numbing junk.

On Hubby's days off (weekends usually), I make sure to get in my workout because then I can go outside or whatever while he watches the kids. But sometimes we make it a family thing: a long walk, a hike, etc. It's not a real workout, per say, but he works full-time, so that quality family time is important to me. I'll consider those "active rest" days.

As for lifting, I can't do it like I used to because my weight equipment is in a dark and dingy basement: not the best place to exercise and entertain kids simultaneously. So instead I've come to rely in bodyweight exercises like squats, lunges, pushups, etc. I do them a few times throughout the day in my living room, whenever the kids are occupied with drawing a picture or playing with toys of whatever. There are a few really good books out there (though mostly geared to men) that show tons and tons of different bodyweight exercises that you can do. I doubt I'll ever get buff this way (I'm a slow gainer anyway), but it's enough to keep me toned and strong.

Hope this helps. All in all, though, I'd say your bigger problem is getting your husband on board. If running is a priority for him, then it shouldn't be hard for him to understand that it's a priority for you. Perhaps a long conversation is in order. Either that, or maybe just telling him, "Look, dear, this is the way it's got to be."

CIELOARGE
05-29-2013, 12:21 PM
I totally understand! I didn't mind paying daycare at the gym when I had the Costco deal for 24hrs fitness. Paid $34 for both of a kids a month. Once my Costco deal was up I went month to month to find a whopping $80 monthly bill from the gym. Let's just said it only lasted a month!

I am buying my own elliptical to keep it at home. I won't be able to return to the gym till the baby is at least 6 months... And ofcourse nobody will watch him... I also got me a few weights from Walmart (two dumbells of 20lbs each, that can range anywhere from 2.5lbs to 20bls... I only paid $19.95 for both of them! )

In your case... How about a jogging stroller??? I know you want your time, but sometimes it just won't happen. Maybe you can take the little one with you. I know is not the best solution but it will you your run ;)

Munchy
05-29-2013, 01:05 PM
When I was married and my daughter was a baby, I'd go workout (outside) while everyone was asleep around 6am, then get ready and head to work.

Now as a single mom, I try to get out of work by 5 at the latest (working through lunch) so that I can change in my office, head to our on campus gym, run/lift, then go to pick up my daughter from after school care before 6. If I need to do more work for the day, I usually can answer emails/work from home/etc when she's asleep.

GlamourGirl827
05-29-2013, 10:42 PM
My kids are 5 and 2 years old, and I got a bun in the oven. I know exactly how you feel. I have a double jogging stroller that I never use because it looks odd to put my (tall) 5 year old in it (too big for stroller!).

My idea of a "workout" used to be a hard or long run, but I had to modify that once I had kids. Especially once I had two. God only knows what I'll do with three.

As much as it goes against my idea of what a workout should be, I've had to modify my fitness regime a bit. And some may call me a terrible mother, but I've also had to utilize some less-than-productive entertainment for my young ones in order to squeeze in that workout. For example, often I jump on the treadmill (which I moved to my bedroom) first thing in the morning. To occupy the kids, I give them something to drink and let them watch TV in the room next to mine. This gives me about 50 minutes of peace. Or I give them their Nabis (tablets for kids). I'll do whatever it takes to get that almost-hour of exercise, even if it means entertaining them with mind-numbing junk.

On Hubby's days off (weekends usually), I make sure to get in my workout because then I can go outside or whatever while he watches the kids. But sometimes we make it a family thing: a long walk, a hike, etc. It's not a real workout, per say, but he works full-time, so that quality family time is important to me. I'll consider those "active rest" days.

As for lifting, I can't do it like I used to because my weight equipment is in a dark and dingy basement: not the best place to exercise and entertain kids simultaneously. So instead I've come to rely in bodyweight exercises like squats, lunges, pushups, etc. I do them a few times throughout the day in my living room, whenever the kids are occupied with drawing a picture or playing with toys of whatever. There are a few really good books out there (though mostly geared to men) that show tons and tons of different bodyweight exercises that you can do. I doubt I'll ever get buff this way (I'm a slow gainer anyway), but it's enough to keep me toned and strong.

Hope this helps. All in all, though, I'd say your bigger problem is getting your husband on board. If running is a priority for him, then it shouldn't be hard for him to understand that it's a priority for you. Perhaps a long conversation is in order. Either that, or maybe just telling him, "Look, dear, this is the way it's got to be."

We are in a similar situation. I have 5 (almost 6) and just turned 3 y/o and one on the way!
I did the double jogging stroller but my 5 year old was too big, it looked silly and to be honest, even at my fitness level (5-6 miles 4x week 10 min mile) when I loaded up that jogging stroller with 60 lbs of kids I barely jogged for a minute or two!!

My older son will be in full day 1st grade next year but now I have the baby on the way.

I have the treadmill, but there's nothing that will hold my kids attention for an hour! lol Even an awesome snack, or movie or their DS gives me about 10 minutes.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what I'll do when baby gets here. I expect the baby to sleep, long naps. When each of my other two were little they go down for long enough naps (2-3) hours that getting in a workout if easy...its my 3 year old I'm have to keep away from the treadmill and from waking the baby!! :dizzy:

sacha
05-30-2013, 06:19 AM
If all I had was my peaceful 6 month old, I could work out 3x a day, with him napping or staring from the baby jail! But my 3 year old... oh dear. He never napped as a baby either. I think this can depend on so many factors, not just their age but personality. I really find dance videos working well for the toddler.

emurph
05-30-2013, 07:25 AM
I have a 2.5 year old and a deployed husband, so I have 2 options. I get up at 5am and workout or I do it during naptime. I'm too tired after DS goes to bed to motivate myself.

I am starting an evening 1x week barre class in July and will drop my son off at my parents' for the hour long class. If I like it, I plan on continuing in the fall/winter after DH is home. His work schedule is completely inflexible because that's just how the Navy is, but I can use my parents as a backup if he will be home late or not at all those evenings. I just can't ask my parents to keep my son every single day during the times I want to exercise which is why I have to fit it in where I can.

We also do a lot of activities that require a lot of walking. Exercise for me and energy burning for DS so he takes a good nap.