Weight Loss Support - Little bit of a mental quandary--dress shopping




elvislover324
05-21-2013, 10:22 AM
After reading FlashFact's post with her gorgeous dress and pictures, it makes me want to go buy a dress to wear this weekend for a cookout we are going to. I haven't seen some of these people since before my weightloss adventure so I know my weightloss will come up whether I wear a gym suit or a fancy outfit. (Hello anxiety! I hate to be the center or topic of attention, believe it or not. I get very nervous when I think people are looking at me or talking about me, even if it's in a good way!)

So I was looking at dresses online (very casual style) and in my head I kept saying the following:

1. Nope, not long enough. I have skin on my knees that hasn't tightened up yet (if ever) and it looks like 2 elephant legs with droopy skin.

2. Nope, sleeves aren't long enough (I'd prefer long sleeves but summer dresses don't come that way LOL!). I need the sleeve to be "tight" enough to not let my batwings peek out, but not too tight that my arms look fat.

3. Nope, the waist is too tight and I will look like I'm pregnant.

4. Nope, the waist is too flowy and I will look like I'm pregnant.

5. Nope, the butt is too tight and I will cause a whole "Baby Got Back" song to break out in groups when I walk by.

6. Nope, the butt is too loose and I will look like I'm wearing a full diaper.

7. Maybe I will just wear capris and a nice top and keep dreaming about a dress.

UGH!

Anyone else have these conversations with themselves?

These are 4 styles in my head that I wish I could just wear and be comfortable in. But I look foolish in every single one!

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/llbeandress2_zps061036c5.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/llbeandress2_zps061036c5.jpg.html)

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/llbeandress_zps99c20a50.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/llbeandress_zps99c20a50.jpg.html)

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/landsenddress_zpsc079ec84.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/landsenddress_zpsc079ec84.jpg.html)

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/jcpenneydress_zps562e70d3.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/jcpenneydress_zps562e70d3.jpg.html)


Amarantha2
05-21-2013, 10:29 AM
I bet you would look beautiful in any of these great styles.

freelancemomma
05-21-2013, 10:35 AM
I would go for style 3 or 4: flowy, forgiving, and fabulous! That's just my bias, though. I don't like preppy.

:-) Freelance


Katydid77
05-21-2013, 10:43 AM
Honestly the first two styles I can't wear at all myself and I love them. With being curvy my belly (front) and my hips (side) always bulge in them and they require not touching anywhere on your body to look nice. (IMO)

I love them, and I even tried one very similar to the top one on the other day b/c it was on sale and 2 sizes higher than I wear, so I thought that would make it okay. And even though it didn't 'touch' the shoulders were so big it looked awkward. So, I couldn't buy it, even though it would have been $5. For me to pass up a deal like that was tough. LOL

Anyway, ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE SMALLER! And, like you said, we all have little idiosyncrasies about our bodies that we aren't wild about, you fit into smaller clothes and there IS styles out there that is perfect for you.

My style is very different from my friends, and always will be. For years I thought everyone should wear 'jeans and a tee shirt' when trying to be relaxed or casual, but, try as I might, they didn't look that good on me and I felt weird in them.

It took me a long time, and a bit of independent thinking, to be comfortable with the fact that I simply prefer knee length skirts and tops with collars. I'm VERY picky about the length of the skirt - to the knee or just below, NOT ever above the knee and never past mid calf.

In THAT look I am me. I fade into existence in anything else, but in that simple outfit, I always get compliments from total strangers about how I look, esp women that say "I love that little skirt you're wearing". (not to mention my bf can't get enough of it :D )

I only own one pair of blue jeans and that those I bought on clearance to have in case we got hiking or something that would require that type of pants. I bought them 2 years ago and maybe have worn them twice.

Don't be afraid to experiment and find your style, and don't be discouraged if it's not the current 'thing' they are pushing.

Go dedicate some time and find an outfit that you REALLY want to wear this weekend! It can help you start evolving your 'look'

Lumia
05-21-2013, 10:52 AM
the first style seems perfect for "batwings", and you can handle horizontal stripes now that you've lost right?

just pick a length at the knee and not higher (which is the most flattering for any legs btw)

PreciousMissy
05-21-2013, 11:08 AM
I really like #1, but it doesn't fit the past the knee preference. Have you thought about a maxi dress? They go all the way to the floor, but are very summery. I have one that I love that I wear with a light sweater. Or you could Google a tea length summer dress. No matter what you buy, wearing it with confidence is going to make it even that much more sexy!

bethFromDayton
05-21-2013, 11:13 AM
I agree with freelance--those last two styles are flattering and forgiving.

The first one is pretty, but I don't think the second one looks good even on that slender model--it's just a boring dress :-)

You can find a dress--you'll look lovely!

nitrus29
05-21-2013, 11:37 AM
So I was looking at dresses online (very casual style) and in my head I kept saying the following:

1. Nope, not long enough. I have skin on my knees that hasn't tightened up yet (if ever) and it looks like 2 elephant legs with droopy skin.

2. Nope, sleeves aren't long enough (I'd prefer long sleeves but summer dresses don't come that way LOL!). I need the sleeve to be "tight" enough to not let my batwings peek out, but not too tight that my arms look fat.

3. Nope, the waist is too tight and I will look like I'm pregnant.

4. Nope, the waist is too flowy and I will look like I'm pregnant.

5. Nope, the butt is too tight and I will cause a whole "Baby Got Back" song to break out in groups when I walk by.

6. Nope, the butt is too loose and I will look like I'm wearing a full diaper.

7. Maybe I will just wear capris and a nice top and keep dreaming about a dress.


maybe you need to stop imagining what you 'WILL LOOK LIKE' in these dresses and just go to the store, try them on and get a major NSV ;)

elvislover324
05-21-2013, 12:16 PM
I think I will be planning a trip to the store tomorrow!! Thanks so much for these responses. I was so happy looking at FlashFacts post and then I got myself all wound up looking at pictures of dresses for myself!!

And as far as the boring dress, I want to looking boring and normal!!! :D

Maybe no one will notice I look different. Maybe someone will think my husband got a girlfriend and brought her to the party. Maybe I will have an epiphany by then that I look ok!!

I was thinking too, my hair is so much darker now since I can't color it (my low cal diet and my meds caused hair loss which could be made worse with hair treatment so I can't color it) so with my "invisible making" sunglasses that I hide behind, this could be fun maybe if no one knows who I am?!

Renwomin
05-21-2013, 12:52 PM
Clothes shopping when you've lost weight is so much fun. I hope you have a wonderful time! I'm sure you will find something fabulous. A fun skirt with the right top (or top and fun jacket) might be wonderful too. Sometimes it is easier than finding a whole dress that works great on every part of your body.

Emme
05-21-2013, 03:43 PM
I have conversations with myself like this all the time. It is frustrating. What we are so focused on are things that probably no one else is noticing at all. I think #3 and #4 would be the most flattering on most people. #1 has no shape to it and #2 is just not my style, haha. I bet you actually look great in these...give yourself more credit!

Robin41
05-21-2013, 06:33 PM
I actually own dress number one. The best part of the dress is the sleeves. They're a little longer without looking heavy and wintery, and they do hide that little bit of extra skin quite nicely However, the horizontal stripes are rough. I'm tall and quite thin at this point and they still make me look heavier than I am. The dress really does rely on you to provide the shape; it's a little clingier than it looks in pictures and shows what you've got, good and bad. I think whether you can pull it off depends a lot on your own confidence level.

I like styles #3 and #4. The belt or gathering at the waist gives them some structure that the first two don't have.

Get in there and just try stuff on. It may take twenty dresses to find the right one, but that's fine.

ikesgirl80
05-21-2013, 06:38 PM
And you can take pics from the dressing room and post them here! We will help you decide!

elvislover324
05-22-2013, 05:09 PM
LOL I don't post pics on the internet, I live off the grid as best as possible! I don't even have a Facebook account and everyone I know was warned not to post anything with me in it (how will I know if they do? IDK!).

So...I found a dress!! I think I love it but we'll see.

It is a Chaps dress, it's brown with pinky coral, tan and vanilla dots (it's not as orange as my phone camera shows). I loved it when I saw it...then I saw the price! $95...marked down 90%...$9.50...plus I had a 20% off coupon...$7.60!!!! I'd never pay $95 in Kohl's for a dress as everything is eventually on sale or you have a coupon but less than $8?? I'm very excited! I have strappy brown casual heels to wear with it so I'm all set. I thought of all of you (and what security was thinking) when I went in the dressing room like 5 times with a bunch of dresses at a time!

Kohls site doesn't have my dress on it but this one is the same style, just different colors. You can see the colors in the 2nd picture with the price on it. I can't believe how cheap it was. Even if I wear it just once it will be worth it!!

Kohls doesn't let you copy pictures on their site so I had to screen print and cut.

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/chapsdress_zps61cdcda2.png (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/chapsdress_zps61cdcda2.png.html)

http://i1275.photobucket.com/albums/y455/elvislover324/photo3_zps1c2215d7.jpg (http://s1275.photobucket.com/user/elvislover324/media/photo3_zps1c2215d7.jpg.html)

PreciousMissy
05-22-2013, 05:34 PM
What a cute cut! I like the colors, too! Even more than that...I LOVE the price! Well done!

Remington90
05-22-2013, 05:44 PM
I LOVE the first dress you posted. And I think you'd look beautiful in any of them. Just wear some sort of shape wear underneath to smooth out the "lumps and bumps" and rock the weight loss you've achieved. You definitely deserve to look good and feel good. Don't let the doubt or self esteem get you down. Be proud of what you've done and flaunt the **** out of it, in a beautiful dress like the ones you've posted. You're husband thinks you're beautiful right? You and him are all that matters.

elvislover324
05-22-2013, 08:21 PM
What a cute cut! I like the colors, too! Even more than that...I LOVE the price! Well done!

Thank you! I was very happy. It's a color (instead of my standard black lol) plus the price was right! I had budgeted $60 seeing that I had a coupon to take 20% off so that would bring it under $50. To think I spend a fraction of it AND I loved the dress were so satisfying. There is no sense in buying a cheap dress if I don't love it!

I LOVE the first dress you posted. And I think you'd look beautiful in any of them. Just wear some sort of shape wear underneath to smooth out the "lumps and bumps" and rock the weight loss you've achieved. You definitely deserve to look good and feel good. Don't let the doubt or self esteem get you down. Be proud of what you've done and flaunt the **** out of it, in a beautiful dress like the ones you've posted. You're husband thinks you're beautiful right? You and him are all that matters.

Thanks so much Remington! My husband showers me with compliments (but he did when I was over 300lbs too...so he's a little biased with love :love: ), I could wear a trash bag for a dress and he'd love it! He does like when I dress up (even casually) as he thinks I act happier and more confident. And he loved this dress! I asked if it was too tight, too short, too anything and he said it was perfect! (And I trust him, he'd really tell me if it wasn't right.)

I'm so excited!! I still might have to make the trip to the LL Bean and Land's End (Sears) store eventually to try out the polo type dresses, even if it's just to say they aren't right for me.

Roo2
05-22-2013, 08:45 PM
I like the First dress ! But to me honest I have to try things on . Bought a dress in the Juniors section of Kohls tried it on brought it home and realized it was shorter than I was comfortable wearing ....soo I gave it to my teenage daughter and she wore it to school! When I saw the length on her .... I said to myself What were you thinking ...that is above the knee.. Glad I gave her the dress even though my Hubby liked it ...I would have felt uncomfortable ....and never worn it in public!;)
Did buy 2 Maxi skirts made of kinda like Tshirt material....and I prefer that look ! So I bought colored Tshirt and will wear a My Jean Jacket or vest with it !
Oh I have ventured out in shorts but they are to my knees...just can not flash my skin to the world!
You are doing Great ! I am soo happy for you!:hug:
Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

IanG
05-22-2013, 08:53 PM
I'd look great in any of the above.

elvislover324
05-22-2013, 08:54 PM
Thanks Roo!! And I "think" I like short dresses but my body says otherwise, cover the knees cover the knees!!

Ian, you are fresh! (And a cross dresser?! JK!)

Mozzy
05-22-2013, 10:07 PM
I don't find those dresses flattering at all... Maybe you just haven't found the right dress yet?

wannaskipandlaugh
05-25-2013, 11:29 AM
Elvis... have you tried any of them on? Have you decided on 1 yet? I like the 3 or 4th one... That flatters me better . as I have a waist that is 20 inches smaller than my hips and those dresses hide that... So which one???? :)

IAN... DARE YOU!!

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 11:33 AM
I bought the Chaps one in the later picture with the price tag. I liked it when I put it on, the price was right and then I kept thinking that my weightloss is going to be so obvious to the people I'm seeing for the first time, it's not really going to matter what I wear! I'm 135lbs +/- less than the last time I saw them!

wannaskipandlaugh
05-25-2013, 11:39 AM
LOl well that tells me I need to reread posts again... I am glad that you found a beautiful dress... It is very pretty and yes it will show the world how gorgeous you look... tho it will pale in comparison to you :)

and such a deal!!!!

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 11:45 AM
LOL Sue, my posts get pretty boring (i.e. LONG!) when I get on a roll so I understand!

You are so sweet. You always know the exact thing to say, I wish I was more like you. :hug:

I wanted to go to the Land's End and LL Bean stores early this morning but they are both off the interstate about 30-35 miles away and traffic would be awful with the holiday weekend. So I'll have to wait (and lose a few more pounds!).

I tried on some dresses yesterday at Kohl's again and most of the casual ones made me look pregnant. And the last thing I need is for everyone to ask me about that (seeing that they know I'm trying) and they'd all think I was 4-5 months along with my pouch from weightloss. The dress I got has enough pattern going on to hopefully hide it!

Novus
05-25-2013, 11:47 AM
I adore the dress you picked out and I suspect you're going to look smashing in it! :D

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 11:52 AM
Ohhhhh, Novus!!! Now I have 2 sweeties saying kind things to me! You and Sue!! :grouphug:

Thank you so much. I'm very anxious about this cookout and wearing an outfit that's not "me". "Me" would be black pants, black top, black shoes and then 99% chance of staying home "sick". But not this year!

betsy2013
05-25-2013, 11:52 AM
So glad you found a dress and one for that price makes it all that much more rewarding and fun. Have a great time at the party and revel in the compliments you will get. Enjoy being in the spotlight a little bit -- you've earned it.

Did anyone else get a kick out of the Kohl's ad with the sizes.....small, medium, large, extra large, and then at the end EXTRA SMALL. Guess they felt the need to put the extras together!

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 11:55 AM
So glad you found a dress and one for that price makes it all that much more rewarding and fun. Have a great time at the party and revel in the compliments you will get. Enjoy being in the spotlight a little bit -- you've earned it.

Did anyone else get a kick out of the Kohl's ad with the sizes.....small, medium, large, extra large, and then at the end EXTRA SMALL. Guess they felt the need to put the extras together!

OMG it's my lucky day!! 3rd person's the charm and it's Betsy!! :hug:

Lol Betsy, I did notice that on the tag and I was embarrassed to post the pic with the size but then I figured you would all understand that I'm excited to only need an XL finally, it's been a long road to this point mentally. They only had XLs in the clearance rack so it was my lucky day!

I'll try to revel in the compliments but it's so hard, I almost wish that no one would notice but that's not going to happen!!

wannaskipandlaugh
05-25-2013, 11:59 AM
Elvis...... For you my wish is that someday REALLY SOON.... you can wear a dress and have to tell people that you are pregnant as they cannot tell. That would be such a great and awesome joy!

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 12:11 PM
Elvis...... For you my wish is that someday REALLY SOON.... you can wear a dress and have to tell people that you are pregnant as they cannot tell. That would be such a great and awesome joy!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! And me too!! :D (I just might look 9 months pregnant the whole time and I don't care LOL!)

betsy2013
05-25-2013, 12:27 PM
Elvis, when I hit XL, I will be renting the Goodyear Blimp to announce it to the world! Heck, when I can just shop in a regular store, it will be a huge moment for me.

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 01:13 PM
You are so cute, Betsy. And we will be here to celebrate with you!! You are doing awesome, it will be no time at all!

NorthernChick13
05-25-2013, 01:43 PM
I just found this thread!!1 Elvis, when is the cookout!? I can't wait to hear all about it! Is it this weekend? And the dress you chose is FABULOUS!!!!

elvislover324
05-25-2013, 01:45 PM
Awww, thanks NorthernChick! The cookout is tomorrow, freaking out already! But you know I'll be here with the good, the bad, and the ugly!

NorthernChick13
05-25-2013, 02:01 PM
Girl, with that dress and your confidence and progress, there ain't gonna be no ugly!!! :P

elvislover324
05-27-2013, 09:06 AM
If anyone has any qualms on wearing a new outfit that fits, act like you own it and ROCK it!!

I will admit, I changed my clothes 87 times before we left the house in case I found something better to wear. But I didn't...I put my big girl panties on and wore my dress!! I was so happy to see everyone and someone made a comment that I was half the size I used to be. (I took that as a compliment even though I wanted to DIE inside..I tried to mentally prep as much as I could, plus DH never left my side, thank God!)

Thanks so much for the help and encouragement, I thought of all of you when we were leaving the house and thought I owed it to all of you to practice what I preach. Hold your head up high, suck in the gut (lol) and strut like you got this. (I don't know that I had this, I just pretended I did!)

wannaskipandlaugh
05-27-2013, 09:13 AM
OH I was wondering what happened... .SO GLAD it turned out well!! YOU did ROCK THAT DRESS I am so sure!... I hope you also relaxed, let the stress out and have a really good time with your friends too and laughed ALOT!! :)

ALWAYS :hug: to you SUNSHINE!! (my name for you!)

elvislover324
05-27-2013, 09:17 AM
Awww, I love the name Sunshine!!! Thank you, Sue!! :hug: There were a lot of laughs, a lot of tears and a great time overall. Life is too short and I learned that more in the last year (even though I did know it already but you tend to forget, you know?). We promised each other we'd get together more often even if it's just casual get-togethers vs. a planned holiday party. I missed so many of them in the past years because I was so depressed and unhappy with myself. I don't plan on ever missing one again!!!

zoesmom
05-27-2013, 09:32 AM
.Life is too short and I learned that more in the last year (even though I did know it already but you tend to forget, you know?). We promised each other we'd get together more often even if it's just casual get-togethers vs. a planned holiday party. I missed so many of them in the past years because I was so depressed and unhappy with myself. I don't plan on ever missing one again!!!

^^^^THIS^^^^ My thoughts and sentiments entirely! Glad you found a dress that rocked, and glad you got to show the new you off. You are so my hero :)

Amarantha2
05-27-2013, 09:35 AM
That dress is so pretty and what an awesome price! Congratulations!

Have fun wearing it!

elvislover324
05-27-2013, 09:40 AM
^^^^THIS^^^^ My thoughts and sentiments entirely! Glad you found a dress that rocked, and glad you got to show the new you off. You are so my hero :)

:hug::hug::hug: I swear I get inner strength from 3FC that I carry in my heart every single day. You are all my inspiration and motivation. I was never like this before, this has to be the answer. I love 3FC!!

JRP2689
05-27-2013, 11:37 AM
So glad you went out and rocked that dress! I'm sure you looked wonderful!

NorthernChick13
05-27-2013, 05:48 PM
:hug::hug::hug: I swear I get inner strength from 3FC that I carry in my heart every single day. You are all my inspiration and motivation. I was never like this before, this has to be the answer. I love 3FC!!

it's a two-way street! SO GLAD to hear it went so well!!!1 I hope you one day get over your need to be private and post some pics for us!!! :P I don't really need the proof though- we know you were GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!

elvislover324
05-27-2013, 05:53 PM
it's a two-way street! SO GLAD to hear it went so well!!!1 I hope you one day get over your need to be private and post some pics for us!!! :P I don't really need the proof though- we know you were GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!

LOL there better not be any evidence of me in a dress (or any other clothes!)!! I get so anxious, omg. Sweating just thinking of it now!