100 lb. Club - Horrible Picture. Depressed!




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ubergirl
05-20-2013, 06:24 PM
So, I do a lot of public appearances, and today, I opened the mail and found to my horror, that someone had sent me a picture of myself posing in a photograph that was part of the official event photography. I was wearing an outfit that in my mind looked good. Problem is, it was a patterned shirt with black pants. And BOY DO I LOOK FAT!!! And the outfit isn't flattering either.
Of course, it came as a shock to me. I have a lot of event photos from last year when I weighed 70 lbs less. Am trying not to feel discouraged by it, but I was just so embarrassed when I saw it. That was a week ago, and I weigh one pound less now. I know there is no point in beating myself up when I'm trying to change it. But I really didn't realize I looked that big. I'm down 14 lbs since April 13th, but it sure doesn't show.


Tai
05-20-2013, 07:17 PM
We are really our own worst enemies. I bet you look very professional and much nicer than you give yourself credit for!

Congratulations on your loss so far; it will continue to add up and be noticeable before you know it.

time2lose
05-20-2013, 10:38 PM
We are really our own worst enemies. I bet you look very professional and much nicer than you give yourself credit for!

I agree. Try to look at the picture as you would a stranger. If you still hate it, know that you will like the pictures next year much better.


ubergirl
05-20-2013, 11:07 PM
I agree. Try to look at the picture as you would a stranger. If you still hate it, know that you will like the pictures next year much better.

Thanks guys. I'm sure you're right. I was just horrified because the outfit I was wearing did not flatter as much as I thought it would, but also, ever since I've regained the weight I look awkward and uncomfortable in the way I hold myself. The difference is noticeable. I just look so uncomfortable in my own skin. Ugh.

I really can't stand doing all of these functions knowing that I'm going to look like this in the pictures. It's too stressful!!!

punkrocksong
05-21-2013, 09:06 AM
That's how I feel about pretty much every picture of me...I've just had to deal with the fact that I don't have the best perception of my own body and I've learned to take other's compliments at face value. I try not to get down about photos...considering in today's photo happy world I can't seem to go a week without someone snapping a photo.

Going2BeThatGirl
05-21-2013, 09:44 AM
I bet you looked amazing! Don't make yourself feel bad, it can ONLY get better ;)

Leaves
05-21-2013, 09:52 AM
I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend snook a picture of me yesterday on my phone and all I could see was a double chin! :(

It's hard to brush off the feeling after seeing a bad picture, but think about how good you felt in the outfit. To me, I think, how you feel is more important!

elvislover324
05-21-2013, 10:41 AM
That's how I feel about pretty much every picture of me...I've just had to deal with the fact that I don't have the best perception of my own body and I've learned to take other's compliments at face value. I try not to get down about photos...considering in today's photo happy world I can't seem to go a week without someone snapping a photo.

This is how I feel too. And I don't think it's ever going to change no matter what my weight is in the end.

I dive quite fast out of pictures as I don't want any evidence of myself at any weight.

One of my aunts is the "family picture taker" and she's such a sweet woman that I won't be difficult with her (even though I could die inside). The worst part though? She sends us copies of the pictures from each family event so we can have a copy too! And one of them that she took of me and my husband, she framed in a gorgeous frame and sent to us in the mail. How can I not keep it (even though I swear I can see my gut peeking under my shirt...). Pictures make me want to cry. But when I see everyone else in a picture, they all look good and natural like I know them to be in person. So either I look really bad in person too OR my perception of myself is just as bad when I see it in a picture like when I do in a mirror.

That was a long response to really say :hug:, I totally understand how you feel.

betsy2013
05-21-2013, 10:55 AM
I totally understand and know how you feel. I'm so looking forward to the day when I can be in a family photo and not feel that I've ruined the picture. The ones I really hate are when "friends" post pictures on FB and tag me. It's bad enough that I feel/know that I look like a beached whale but having everyone who knew me 40 years ago know it too (especially since all of them seem to have magically remained the same size!) is just too much.

Campana
05-21-2013, 11:01 AM
That is a hirrible feeling. Just line you I have seen recent pictures of me and boy i do not line what I see. I also gained back over 50 lbs and I get mad at myself for it. But we got to think positive and get back on track remember how good you looked and FELT when you were thise 70 lbs ligther just think about all the positives to get you thru this.

ubergirl
05-21-2013, 11:03 AM
This is how I feel too. And I don't think it's ever going to change no matter what my weight is in the end.

I dive quite fast out of pictures as I don't want any evidence of myself at any weight.


LOL, Elvis. I'm totally the opposite. When I lost the weight, I was just SO AMAZED how normal I looked in photos that I became quite the photo hound. I couldn't believe that in picture after picture I looked perfectly normal, and I always looked so much smaller in pictures than I looked in my own head.

But now, I'm having the opposite problem. I regained very fast, and in my mind, I'm still thinking of how I looked before and I can't believe what I see. It's awful!!!!!!!

I think you are going to start loving how you look in pictures very soon!

ubergirl
05-21-2013, 11:07 AM
I totally understand and know how you feel. I'm so looking forward to the day when I can be in a family photo and not feel that I've ruined the picture. The ones I really hate are when "friends" post pictures on FB and tag me. It's bad enough that I feel/know that I look like a beached whale but having everyone who knew me 40 years ago know it too (especially since all of them seem to have magically remained the same size!) is just too much.

Arggh Betsy. I can't stand that either!!! One of my most cherished photos is a picture I have from two summers ago, standing with my daughter. It made me so happy that we looked so nice standing there together, but also so SAD that we have very few pictures like that. My husband is a small man, and my children are all slim and athletic, and I always look like I just don't fit in in family portraits.

abetterme
05-21-2013, 12:52 PM
This happened to me about 4 or 5 days ago. I saw a picture of myself and I couldn't believe how big I looked! It really depressed me. But we tend to be way more critical of ourselves than how others see us. Don't let the picture get to you. Just focus on your healthy goals. You have already achieved so much. :)

AnnMarie77
05-21-2013, 03:33 PM
I'm sorry you're bummed out about this picture. I hate that feeling. I am always shocked when I see myself in pictures. Sometimes I wonder if I have some sort of reverse body image disorder where I see myself as thinner in the mirror than I really am.

If it's any consolation, most people looking at the picture will be focused on looking at themselves and criticizing themselves. I look old, fat, balding, you name it.

The people who aren't in the picture won't look at all.

Don't worry too much about it, hang in there!

ChickieBoom
05-21-2013, 03:41 PM
I think we've all seen "that picture" that's burst our bubble. I'll attach mine from my cousin's wedding that was uploaded to Facebook for the world to see.

The great news is that if you stick to your diet and exercise plan...you will lose the weight and love the way you look in photos again. The time will fly by. Don't focus on how far you've got to go, just commit to today and know that time flies. It's almost summer! I can't get over the fact that Memorial Day is next weekend! Where has the time gone?

Lolo70
05-21-2013, 03:53 PM
I have had a similar experience just now. Two weeks ago I was so happy as I fit into a very small cut size 12 European designer suit and thought I looked great. The last couple of days I had to work on a Birthday video. There were some old pics of me (15 yrs past) when I was at my small weight. Then I looked at the video of me today (half way back to my old weight). I got depressed instantly. I thought my face still looked fat, my boobs looked huge, though I already lost a lot in that area, and my arms clearly looked bigger than I imagined even in my worst nightmares. Nevertheless, despite my newly discovered fatness, my ex-husband now thinks I look great and he is back in hot pursuit. I guess, we are just not used to seeing pictures of ourselves and have a different perception. I take my "Oh NO" moment as a new motivation to get rid of the rest of my surplus weight.

ChickieBoom
05-21-2013, 04:01 PM
Weight loss can be so subjective. I feel pretty small and then I'll see someone on this site who weighs 20 pounds less than me complaining about their double chin. So I guess I feel small compared to how big I'd gotten. I'm still quite a bit larger than I was at my smallest but I'm so much happier that I feel great most of the time.

I know that at my largest, I'd gotten very good at avoiding my reflection. I never looked at myself in the mirror (not a full length one anyway) and if there was a glass door or a mirror, I was an expert at averting my gaze.

That picture I uploaded on the first page was the first time I'd seen myself as other's probably see me in years. It seems crazy but I still saw myself mostly as I looked before I ever gained the weight. I think that made the shock of the picture even greater.

I look at myself a lot now. In pictures in the mirror. I have to accept all of the loose and stretched and saggy bits that will never look the way they did before. They don't even bother me much anymore. I'm mostly amazed at how well my body handled such a major loss. I look much better with my clothes on but I know every inch of my body as I see no reason for us to hide from one another anymore.

It's just a picture. They'll be more and no one will give that one a second thought. When you see it again in the future, it will stand as a testament to your great strength and I'm sure you won't mind it as much.

irishsarah
05-21-2013, 07:32 PM
I don't think there are too many of us that don't feel the same way you do. :hug:

I have friends that work for a production company in Canada. I've helped out, visited the sets, help with publicity in the US...I've even done background work in the holiday special and visited the set when a very famous musician was there ( a band I love btw), That said, I don't have ONE picture. Not one. Even when I did the background work in the special, I was hidden so all you could see was me from the chest up. :(

I have 4 boys and not ONE family photo. :(

Then, I was at a publicity event for our local NFL team. The photographer LOVED my boys and took pictures of them with the players. There was ONE I was in. ONE. I didn't realize it. It was published on a local sports talk radio station's website that sponsored the event. I almost cried. I THOUGHT I looked pretty good when I left the house. What I saw horrified me. I was so depressed. I still haven't gone back to look at it.

My Facebook account is set up so that NO ONE can tag me in anything without my approval too.

I can't tell you how much I long for the day when I don't care a bit if my picture has been taken or not. When I actually smile and pose for a camera.

Radiojane
05-21-2013, 11:00 PM
I had a meltdown about the pictures taken a few weekends ago at my SIL's stagette. I felt like a rock star and I was 100 pounds lighter than I was when she got engaged. Standing next to the perfectly proportioned bridesmaids?? Ugh. I cried.

But for all of you avoiding the camera, please remember someday down the road, someone is going to miss you, and not having photos of loved ones suck. Of course photos aren't the only way to leave a mark, but they're sure nice to have.

And no one will care what you weighed in them.

Mozzy
05-22-2013, 12:29 PM
We are really our own worst enemies. I bet you look very professional and much nicer than you give yourself credit for!

Congratulations on your loss so far; it will continue to add up and be noticeable before you know it.

This^^

Quirky Chick
05-22-2013, 01:03 PM
I'm sure you're right. I was just horrified because the outfit I was wearing did not flatter as much as I thought it would, but also, ever since I've regained the weight I look awkward and uncomfortable in the way I hold myself. The difference is noticeable. I just look so uncomfortable in my own skin.


This. I can completely identify with you. I notice when comparing pictures before I recently lost weight, and pictures from 2009 whe I was in the 100's, I look very different. The way I carry myself is very different. I look very awkward when I get heavier, and the way I carry myself is totally different. I'm generally not a highly photogenic person , anyway. But I look so uncomfortable in my skin, and look extremely awkward when I am bigger. I also wasn't aware exactly how I looked after my last weight gain, until I saw some full-body photos of me, and I looked a lot worse than I had noticed when looking in a full-length mirror. It's also amazing how some things appear to look cute when you put them on, but when photographed, it doesn't look much like you thought it did. Hang in there, though. You can do it!! :smug:

elvislover324
05-22-2013, 01:11 PM
I had a meltdown about the pictures taken a few weekends ago at my SIL's stagette. I felt like a rock star and I was 100 pounds lighter than I was when she got engaged. Standing next to the perfectly proportioned bridesmaids?? Ugh. I cried.



I skipped part of my brother's wife's bachelorette party as I was petrified of pictures with the thin girls. I faked sick. Imagine that? This woman is now my "sister" and she loves my brother more than anything in the world. But I just couldn't do it. (I also declined the invite to be a bridesmaid, how rude am I?)

I give you so much credit, Jane. You are so supportive of everyone here and in your personal life. I was too selfish and made it all about me (even though I tried to not make it about me, it really was).

So many regrets I have.

Radiojane
05-22-2013, 01:16 PM
I skipped part of my brother's wife's bachelorette party as I was petrified of pictures with the thin girls. I faked sick. Imagine that? This woman is now my "sister" and she loves my brother more than anything in the world. But I just couldn't do it. (I also declined the invite to be a bridesmaid, how rude am I?)

I give you so much credit, Jane. You are so supportive of everyone here and in your personal life. I was too selfish and made it all about me (even though I tried to not make it about me, it really was).

So many regrets I have.


Oh, believe me, I've done that. I've stayed home from FUNERALS because I didn't want to see people or have them see me. I did an ultra long bee line around the pool yesterday when I realized one of the moms on the kiddie side was an old classmate. I haven't seen her in years, I didn't want her to see me like this, and in a bathing suit no less! As the wedding approaches I'm literally choking back dread. And had she asked me when I wasn't dieting, when I was at my heaviest? I probably couldn't have gone through with it.

I just see the other side though. My dad hid from the world to the point where he wouldn't go into stores and I have very few photos of him past when I was a few years old, and I hate that I have so few to show my nephews.

No one should "not exist" in photographic history solely because they were fat.

punkrocksong
05-22-2013, 11:37 PM
I had a meltdown about the pictures taken a few weekends ago at my SIL's stagette. I felt like a rock star and I was 100 pounds lighter than I was when she got engaged. Standing next to the perfectly proportioned bridesmaids?? Ugh. I cried.

But for all of you avoiding the camera, please remember someday down the road, someone is going to miss you, and not having photos of loved ones suck. Of course photos aren't the only way to leave a mark, but they're sure nice to have.

And no one will care what you weighed in them.

That's a great point and why I don't put up too much of a fuss for family pics, but they know how I am and with digital cameras I get final approval. Even on here...with fellow 'weight challenged' people...I can't bring myself to post a picture.

Oh...I feel you on the bridesmaids...my sister is the tiniest person I know and it getting married next year. I hope and pray I can get into a 16/18 by then so I won't look as huge standing next to her. I sometimes feel like my Mom got rid of all her genetically deficient crap with me and saved all the good stuff for her.

Radiojane
05-23-2013, 01:13 PM
I sometimes feel like my Mom got rid of all her genetically deficient crap with me and saved all the good stuff for her.

I'm pretty sure that's what happened to me too. :D