40-Somethings - 40-Something Emotional Eating Support - How You Doin'?

05-20-2013, 06:21 PM
Anyone watch Wendy Williams? If so, you'll get the title!

Ok...I thought I kicked my addiction. You know the one where anything with flour and sugar will cure everything that's wrong in your life? Yeah, I thought I kicked that bad habit to the curb ages ago, but no. It seems that any time I feel stressed, angry, lonely, depressed, anxious, you name a negative feeling - I head for the sweets or salty carbs.

So, maybe it's a good idea to have a daily mood check-in to match up with how well I stayed on plan with my eating. Maybe some patterns will be found. Who knows?

Is anyone else with me? All you need to do is check in each day and answer the question - How you doin'? :carrot::carrot::hug::hug:

Today for me -
5/20/2013 - I am somewhere in the middle. Not too shabby, but not overjoyed. I stayed on plan pretty well today - so far.

Update at 6:50pm - Ate 2 pieces of homemade pizza around 5pm during stressful time due to basement construction project. My house is a mess and I now have no laundry facilities to use - guess it's the laundromat for me for the next few weeks. Ugh! Still clocked in at under 1500 calories according to MFP. Another interesting finding is that I juiced a lot of fruits and vegetables today and my allergy symptoms have disappeared all afternoon and into the evening. My husband thinks it's pure coincidence, but I will try it again tomorrow. I haven't felt this symptom free in weeks.

05-20-2013, 08:26 PM
I could use the support, too. Sugary, junky candy is my downfall. Sometimes chips & pretzels. Sometimes, just chomping to chomp (oral fixation??!).

5/20 On plan and under control, despite stressful behavior from DS2.

05-20-2013, 08:48 PM
Yeah, Newleaf! So glad you have joined me in tracking our emotional health along with our physical health! Let's see what we learn about our eating patterns....

05-20-2013, 08:54 PM
I'm in....guilty as charged....today I actually doin okay...did low carb and feel satisfied..I was starving on isagen ix. I am done eating for the rest of the night.....hope I have a drop on the scal tomorrow.....

05-20-2013, 09:42 PM
I definitely need this thread! I had a really tough weekend emotionally and, unfortunately, tracking and staying on program went out the window. Which, you know, JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE! Ugh! When will I learn?


05-21-2013, 09:28 AM
Good morning and welcome Ottermommy and Zumba! Woke up hungry and am having some Greek yogurt and kashi cereal. Boiling some eggs for later. I hope I don't have the munchies all day. Feeling slightly anxious waiting for the work crew to show up for my basement.

Here's to an on plan day! Will check back in later.

05-21-2013, 11:30 PM
Good day today. I'm finding that tracking with MFP is giving me some good insight. It's no wonder I always lack energy; my iron consumption is very low. I knew that, but seeing it this way is eye opening.

Anyway, I'm feeling in control and somewhat dispassionate about food. That won't last, nor would I want it to. But for now, all is good.

05-22-2013, 08:12 AM
Good morning! I feel okay this morning but last night wasa different story. Since none of my summer lot he's fit I went to buy a few things to get me through....seeing myself in cropped pants made me tear up and I eft the store with nothing.....depressing....I came home and tried on my favorite maxi dress from last year.....it was way too small...even spanx couldn't help.....

But the good news is I'm back on low carbing and I've lost a few lbs...so I'm in the right direction. I feel in control today.....

05-22-2013, 09:59 AM
newleaf123 - you are lucky to be in that dispassionate phase. I am going through sugar withdrawal cravings like crazy! It took all my self control not to go get myself an ice cream concoction at my local ice cream shop yesterday! I settled for an extra pomegranate Greek yogurt.

Zumba - I hear you! Clothing that I was swimming in a few months ago, now fit me perfectly (No, I do not want to be in 12s or 14s again!). Other things in my closet are too tight to wear now. It feels awful. I don't even want to go anywhere near a store, because it would be too depressing to try on clothes. I guess gaining weight is saving me money (unless I get even bigger and need to buy new fat clothes - never!!!).

I didn't do as well as I would have liked yesterday. Caved into the last 2 pieces of my homemade pizza for lunch, ruining my low carb day. I also ate a lot of spaghetti squash with a canned tomato sauce that had lots of sodium. The scale is not moving for me, and I am still weighing in at 161. Ugh!

I juiced up a bunch of fruit and am having it for breakfast right now. I am supposed to meet up with a friend later for a brunch/breakfast. I don't trust myself to order well, but I hate to cancel the plans because of my bad eating. I don't like how out of control I am with food that I have to be worried all the time about what I will eat. I have felt so many episodes of guilt over the last few weeks after eating off plan. I want to be back in control - food is just food, not a friend!

Good luck today! :hug:

05-22-2013, 10:59 AM
Happy Wednesday! :D

I'm in too. I'm overwhelmed with things to do and being forced to skip exercise because we don't have enough cars to get all the drivers in the house where they need to go. I'm losing things...Ugh. It's a snowball. Of course, I'm craving sugar.

Thanks for this thread!

05-22-2013, 11:09 AM
I am also an emotional eater. I don't know if I can ever be truly cured, but would like to limit my emotional eating and channel stress into other outlets whenever possible.

Lately I am very stressed about my mom's cancer. I'm not sleeping well, which makes me want to eat and not want to exercise..it's a vicious cycle. I have forced myself to go to the gym the last 2 nights, and I walked and ran already today. Getting myself sick isn't going to help anything..I need to remember that.

Binged on ice cream yesterday, hoping to do better today. Still too much sugar and processed food..why is it so hard to get out of this cycle?

05-22-2013, 01:06 PM
Moondance - Those sugar cravings are a killer! So glad that you joined this thread. The more support, the better for all of us!

natamars - I think I am realizing that I will never be cured of the desire to eat my emotions. I can go for long stretches when I am on a low-carb whole foods cycle without having the urge to binge. But it seems like if I go off track with carbs and sugars for too long, the emotional/physical need to keep eating those foods kicks in again. Right now I am trying to get through withdrawal symptoms....and it's tough.

What I am proud of today - went to a coffee shop with my friend, and resisted ordering any food. I ate before I went and had a coffee with skim milk instead. Yeah!! Boy, I could have easily ordered pastries or a sandwich, but resisted! Yeah! Plus, I really enjoyed spending time with my friend, and that really cheered me up. My goal is to get some exercise in today.

So far, I have had salad with broiled salmon and hard boiled egg and tomato. I juiced up a bunch of fruit this morning, and my youngest son tried some, and is now insisting I make some for him when he comes home from school!

I am still sad and scared that the scale isn't going down, but I will just have to keep on even without the payoff for now.

Have a good day, everyone!

05-22-2013, 01:39 PM
Binged on ice cream yesterday, hoping to do better today.

This is in no way meant as a criticism of natamars, but really a reminder to all of us, myself included. When I find myself saying "I hope to do better..." it kind of makes it sound like its out of my control, sort of a random act of the universe. I try to catch myself and change it to "I plan to do better.... " and ask myself what exactly I will do to make that happen. It puts the accountability back on me, not to say I always act on it. :hug:

05-22-2013, 09:11 PM
I had a really rough day emotionally but did not turn to food....yay me....

05-22-2013, 09:56 PM
Zumba yay, you, indeed! :hug:

05-23-2013, 12:13 AM
newleaf - I sure have been struggling with accountability lately - blaming everyone and everything for my weight gain except me! It's not like anyone tied me down and forced me to eat cookies, although that wouldn't be so bad! ;)

Zumba - Way to go! You are one day closer to kicking the emotional eating habit.

It was raining today, couldn't bike outside, so I actually went to the gym for the first time in ages. Hated every moment, but I burned 500 calories. Yeah! Ate within my calorie range for the day too - kept things fairly low carb.

Here's to a good day tomorrow!

05-23-2013, 12:22 AM
Good day today. I've been really deliberate in my food choice, which feels good. According to MFP, it was a very high carb day, but honestly I've never paid attention to the carb/fat/protein ratios and have lost weight just fine. That seems to be an anomaly on 3FC; I count myself as lucky in that regard.

05-23-2013, 08:35 AM
Newleaf- I never used to count carbs either, until
for me, I realized that "carbs beget carbs." Meaning, carbs make me hungrier faster than protein or high fiber veggies and fruits. I find I crave more and more carbs after eating them. They seem to increase my appetite. I also find that my mood is affected when I eat carbs. Kind of like a sugar crash. While I am eating I feel great, but 30-60 minutes later I feel tired, down, and want more food.

Stepped on the scale to 160. Anything starting with a 16 is bad for me, but at least I am 1 lb down from yesterday.

05-23-2013, 09:28 AM
It's interesting that you say that, Guac. I had 225 more calories yesterday than Mon or Tue, and went to bed ravenous. Whereas the other nights I went to bed feeling fine. So maybe there's something to that... I had a sweet potato and a small ice cream, both unusual for me. I'll have to keep an eye on whether there's a trend of high carb = high hunger for me. Thanks! Glad to see you are down a pound :)

05-23-2013, 11:15 AM
It's going to be a rollercoaster day. This morning I found something I've been intensely looking for over the last 2 days, but then left breakfast and lunch on the counter at home.

I'm still hanging in there. It's been a tough week of balancing. Stress sucks!

We're camping this weekend with another couple. She's a gourmet cook and uses butter like Paula Dean. My husband was getting annoyed at the list of food I want to bring and I reminded him that the only way I can control my calories is to bring my own food. He shut up after that!

05-23-2013, 11:41 AM
Moondance, I think it's really smart to bring your own food. Having to rely on other people's cooking is definitely a source of stress to me. Heck, I even plan my errands so I can be home in the safety of my kitchen for lunch.

05-23-2013, 11:36 PM
Moondance - Good luck this weekend! I will be tested too, as I leave tomorrow for a long vacation weekend. It's going to be tough. Good for you for planning ahead!

Newleaf - Great new picture! You look so skinny

05-24-2013, 11:29 PM
Thanks for the compliment, Guac. I'm feeling really good these last few days. I hope everything is off to a good start for you and for you, too, Moondance, this long weekend. I remember reading once on these boards about how the calendar really does have at least one celebration every month to trip us up:

New Years, Valentines, St. Patrick's, Easter, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Chanukah/insert-your-favorite-December-holiday-here

And then throw in there all your family birthdays, graduations, and weddings, and you can see what a minefield it is that we walk through.

Sometimes it feels like the deck is stacked against us. But recognizing that calendar pattern is important, as is devising strategies to avoid the minefields, which you both are doing.

05-28-2013, 11:27 PM
Hello, all! The weekend was not kind foodwise...and...TOM is raging! Every 3 weeks? Really? I am either in PMS mode or TOM mode, it seems.

Scared to face the scale....I need to get a few good on plan days under my belt.

I hope you all are doing well! :hug:

05-29-2013, 01:35 PM
Hey everyone.

Weekend food was ok. Our camping partners lived up to their history...sooo much butter and oil, fatty meats, dessert (not to mention the alcohol). I kept pretty good control of myself (except the 2nd slice of cherry pie). I insisted on going for a hike on Saturday, just to burn the calories. 4.5 miles (and it was great!).

We got some devastating news when we got back into cell phone range. A family we're good friends with lost their 19 y/o daughter in a dune buggy accident. It's been a very sad few days and I'm doing my best to not eat my emotions. Friday's funeral will be especially hard. :cry: Sometimes life really sucks.

05-29-2013, 03:51 PM
Oh, Moondance, just terrible, and a reminder to hold precious those close to us.

Guac, hopefully things settle down for you...

Here, I'm doing well, but I did have an episode on Sunday where I just felt deprived. Deprived that I couldn't gobble as much shrimp as I wanted with dinner. I really had to stop and think about what emotion it was that I was feeling (deprivation) and then came up with some questions to myself to get to the bottom of this. In the end, I felt like I handled it well and was able to move on. But there is always a next time... And I think that has been the greatest life lesson that I have finally learned. The beast never goes away. Sometimes you can get it to retreat to a corner, but it lurks and waits. Knowing that it will eventually come back, that this is cyclical, that I can count on it, actually helps me to feel more in control and in tune with life's cycles.

ETA: And the funny thing about not gobbling up all the shrimp Sunday night is... I have enjoyed putting shrimp on my salad every single day since then at lunchtime. Another lesson in there, perhaps??

05-29-2013, 06:28 PM
Moondance - how horrible! I am so sorry for everyone involved!

Newleaf - Good for you for thinking before eating! It's true, the beast will never go away.

I biked 16 miles today, juiced breakfast and lunch, and am having salmon and veggies for dinner. Had a headache all day, but so far, it hasn't caused me to comfort eat. I will have to be aware of this, because I think I eat when I am in physical pain too.


05-30-2013, 11:13 AM
Happy Thursday! :D

I couldn't believe my eyes this morning...scale read 181. Woohoo, that makes an even 20 pounds lost. It's taken forever (since Jan 6) but that's ok. It's not a race and I feel that they will never be back on my body. :) I also expect the scale to go back up a pound or two. Seems that I get teased with a low number once, then it takes me a couple of weeks to see that number again, but then it stays. 6 more pounds to my first big mini goal (I have little mini's and big mini's) I got down to 175 briefly, about 13 years ago then went back up. Yea me!

Funeral is tomorrow. I will do my best not to eat my emotions.

guac: Sounds like you had a great bike ride!:bike2: Hope the weather was nice. It's an interesting observation you had about eating your physical pain.:hun: I'll have to pay attention to that and see if I do it to. Kudos to you for recognizing it! Did you figure out the PMS vs. TOM? My mood is all over the place so I know I'm PMSing.

newleaf: "The beast never goes away". :jig: So true! Thanks for putting it into words as I hadn't thought of it that way. And it is all cyclic, going hand in hand with the calendar thing you brought up (that was me, BTW, who posted about that. I think we're looking at the same issue from different sides!). Whatever you say "no" to now will be back around again, and probably soon. I LOVE that you put a little bit of shrimp on your salad each day to compensate for not gobbling as you wanted to. In the end, your enjoyment has lasted a lot longer. I actually said no to birthday cake a couple of weeks ago, because I knew there would be cake again, soon, and I didn't want to derail my hard work. :goodvibes

Have a great day!!

05-30-2013, 01:09 PM
Moondance - woo hoo on the scale going down! :carrot::carrot: 20 lbs gone forever!!

I think my cycles and hormones are not helping my weight. My cycles are like, every 25 days or so. I know going on birth control pills would help regulate things, but with my age and my former blood pressure issues, I would rather stay away from them.

The scale read 159lbs today. Back in the 150s by the hairs on my chinny chin chins!

Good luck today, everyone! :hug:

05-31-2013, 10:33 AM
Feeling good to see 158 on the scale this morning. I have been fighting the 150s forever! Will I ever get down into the 140s? Am I just too old, is my metabolism just too slow, am I just not willing to do the hard work to get there? These and other questions are going through my mind.

Good luck today, everyone! :hug:

06-02-2013, 04:28 PM
Guac you are not too old... you can do this! I hope you've got some positive self-talk going on today...

Ugh, spent yesterday and today overeating for DS' birthday. It is amazing to me how one bad choice begets others. We are planning a very light dinner and a long walk. Then back to basics tomorrow.

06-03-2013, 11:17 PM
Well, another tomorrow has come and gone. My trigger was that I ate too much at dinner, and then figured I might as well go totally overboard since I had already "ruined it". I ate so much, I truly felt sick. Feeling better now. I need to keep working on my head... Not looking forward to the scale tomorrow.

06-04-2013, 11:15 AM
newleaf - weight loss truly is a mental and emotional game. You are on a positive roll and getting lots of great scale validation that you are going things right! Keep going with it. I have found that NSVs keep me going for a short while, but if the scale get stuck or moves upward, I start losing motivation. It is really hard not to say I already "ruined it" so why bother, but having that attitude has put me 12 lbs up since last year. Don't lose your mojo - you've got this!

I didn't eat so great this weekend, but I did watch myself better than in the past few weeks. I biked 17 miles yesterday and ate well. Even so, the scale jumped back up to 160 this morning. I have no idea why, the only thing I can blame it on is residual effects from the weekend. Sigh....

Good luck today!

06-04-2013, 11:58 AM
Thanks, guac. Yeah, I have ridden up that roller coaster in the past, and I vow to never let it happen again. You have made that same vow. We've got this! Good exercise *always* makes a difference to mental outlook; I'm so glad to read that you are getting out on your bike! I wish I could ride more; the roads around here are too narrow, hilly, and windy (long i), and while it makes for a great workout, you also feel like you are risking your life. Cars just don't have a lot of sight distance to be able to see you.

But, I did just do 60 min on the elliptical doing my "Advanced Peak Performance" work-out, which is a really good one. I haven't done it since before Patagonia, and I feel like I'm in better shape than I was. So, feeling good right now :)

06-04-2013, 02:41 PM
Damn...I'm on an emotional rollercoaster today. You may recall I went to a funeral last Friday for the 19 y/o daughter of our friends. I just found out the young lady's ex-boyfriend (who still wanted to be with her) is gone now too--as of Saturday, the day after the funeral. I don't know what happened, but I'm thinking the worst. I'm literally feeling sick to my stomach. I'm so angry at the senseless loss. First Rachael, now Fisher. When does it stop? So many families heartbroken and in such pain.

Thanks for listening. Just needed a place to put down my thoughts.

06-04-2013, 04:03 PM
Absolutely heartbreaking. So much future lost. Praying for strength for all who loved the youngsters.

06-04-2013, 04:32 PM
What awful news, moondance. Heartbreaking...

06-04-2013, 06:45 PM
moondance - so sorry to hear this awful news. Just tragic. Now is the time to pay attention to your own emotions about this and how it relates to your food and exercise. I know for myself, during time of great sadness I tend to cave in to comfort eating.

Stay strong!

06-05-2013, 11:09 AM
Thank you all for your support! It means a great deal to me.

Today is better. Guac, you are right, that these emotional times can be a real trick to handle. Other than my TOM chocolate cravings, I've managed to stay right on track. Rehearsing for my show really helps too...the distraction plus its one of two things that really feed my soul.

Thank you all again!

06-05-2013, 11:55 AM
Hello all. Incredibly depressed this morning, as the scale is still at 160. I really don't know what is wrong with me. Just feeling really down. I am still committed to healthy eating and exercise. I suppose if I gave up everything I would be back to my high weight in no time. It's just scary to be gaining even while watching my calories, sugars, and carbs.

Good luck today.

06-05-2013, 04:55 PM
:hug: guac :hug: I'm so sorry you are feeling down. It seems like, unless there is something medically wrong (have you checked that?), it's time to do something drastically different. When I counted calories for a couple of weeks, what I found was that I intuitively knew what size my meals should be, but then I outdid any loss with snacks. It's not like I was having huge snacks or a lot of snacks, but certainly way more calories than I thought. For example, take nuts. Now I'm eating maybe half a handful of nuts every other day, whereas before I was eating maybe 3-4 handfuls of nuts every day. Is there anything like that where you can drastically cut back?

06-05-2013, 09:27 PM
Newleaf - thanks! I think I had a lot of sodium yesterday - went out for sushi with hubby and had fried rice with dinner. Tons of soy sauce. I am sure the rice from both meals didn't do me any favors either. This was my food log for today. For some reason, I am below calories, but I don't feel hungry. Maybe it is because I didn't exercise, because normally after exercise, I am ravenous.

Foods Calories Carbs Fat Protein Cholest Sodium Sugars Fiber
Dunkin Donuts - Decaf Iced Coffee With Skim Milk, 14 oz 21 4g 0g 2g 0mg 0mg 0g 0g
Kashi Golean Crisp - Toasted Berry Crumble Cereal, 0.6 cup (51g/1.8oz.) 144 28g 3g 7g 0mg 100mg 8g 6g
Chobani - Greek Yogurt Strawberry, 6 oz 140 20g 0g 14g 0mg 65mg 19g 1g
Salmon - Atlantic Salmon Baked In Oven, 1 oz 29 0g 2g 3g 9mg 9mg 0g 0g
Egg - Egg - Hard Boiled - Large , 1 egg 78 1g 5g 6g 186mg 62mg 1g 0g
Riceland - Extra Long Grain Natural Rice, 0.4 cup cooked or 1/4 cup dry 64 13g 0g 1g 0mg 0mg 0g 0g
Love's - Low Fat Frozen Yogurt, 1 cup prepared 200 39g 2g 8g 14mg 100mg 0g 0g
TOTAL: 676 105g 12g 41g 209mg 336mg 28g 7g

06-06-2013, 08:42 AM
Scale was at 158 this morning, despite not making the best food choices yesterday. I think low sodium does play a role. I hope to get in some exercise this morning, as I have a busy afternoon. The most important thing is to watch what I eat.

Good luck today!

06-06-2013, 08:52 AM
guac I'm glad the scale is down today. Keep drinking your water, hopefully that will help! How did the rest of yesterday go? Did you make up those extra calories, or did it end up being such a low-cal day?

I thought your food looked fine, all good stuff. The only thing I noticed was it was a lot of processed food (all of breakfast, lunch,and snacks). I know it's not everyone's style, but maybe try getting a bit more whole foods? Throw in some fruits, vegetables, whole grains?

I know you said that yesterday wasn't the best food choices, so maybe you do get the other stuff, and that's how you would normally make up those missing calories. But if not, maybe give that a try?

06-06-2013, 11:54 AM
I don't have much to add, except to say keep plugging away at it, ladies! One day, sometimes one choice, at a time!

06-06-2013, 07:15 PM
I normally eat lots of fruits and veggies and juice them too. I don't think of Greek yogurt as processed, nor salmon or hard boiled egg. The rice and frozen yogurt were bad choices, and I could do without the cereal. I kept it low cal yesterday ad didn't eat anything else. Just floundering here.

06-06-2013, 07:50 PM
I agree that the salmon, egg, and rice aren't processed. The Chobani? Not so much. I just pulled my plain Greek yogurt out of the fridge; it's got skim milk and yogurt cultures. And I pulled one of my son's Chobanis out of the fridge - black cherry. It's got skim milk, yogurt cultures, black cherries, evaporated cane juice, cherry juice concentrate, pectin, locust bean gum, and natural flavor.

Anyway, I'm not trying to nitpick your food; I hope you didn't take it that way :hug: Like I said, I thought your food all looked fine. If I were looking to change anything, that was just the one thing I noticed, though. Happy to hear that you do normally have lots of fruits and vegetables :broc:

06-07-2013, 08:34 AM
I'll have to revisit the yogurt. I hate plain yogurt, but like to get low fat dairy in my diet. Any suggestions for non processed low fat dairy? I don't like milk by itself - except skim in coffee. I also don't like cottage cheese. I guess I am picky when it comes to dairy - except for ice cream! :)

Scale stayed at 158 today. I need to keep plugging along.

Good luck today! Thanks for the support - I really appreciate it. I don't talk to anyone offline about my dieting struggles.

06-07-2013, 10:07 AM
First, I don't think Chobanis are evil, and they are so yummy. If they are serving a purpose in your diet, which they are, then I would say, stick with them! I also don't like / drink milk, so I hear you. Luckily, I love plain Greek yogurt!

The only other thing I can think of depends on how you feel about drinking your calories. Because with all that fruit or veggies that you juice, you could make whey protein shakes (although that's highly processed). Or, and I like this one, you could indulge in a wonderful cup of tea with milk - yum! There are some wonderful chai tea bags out there. Mix in your skim milk and half a tsp of sugar? Heaven.

But, this from someone who splurges on a homemade cappuccino each morning with whole milk, clocking in at 87 calories. So, clearly I enjoy drinking my calories!

06-07-2013, 10:05 PM
Thanks for the ideas. I might try plain greek yogurt and add in my own blueberries or strawberries or other fruit. I don't think I can handle it plain - too sour! :p

About to tackle a big family dinner tonight. Wish me luck in making good choices!

Good luck to all!

06-08-2013, 12:25 PM
Oh, to clarify, when I say I love plain Greek yogurt, I mean with my own fruit tossed in. Yeah, totally plain? Yuck. Last night I made a strawberry rhubarb compote, which I think will be a good mix-in.

06-12-2013, 12:32 AM
Quick check-in. Graduation weekend ruining my best intentions! DD graduated elementary school today, so, let's get back in gear! It's going to be a challenge getting in exercise and staying within calories with kids home for summer. DD got a bike for graduation, so, maybe she and I can go biking together while the little ones are in camp (which they don't start for 2 weeks!). Eek! My only hope is to eat right! I have been scared to step on the scale this week. Feeling bloated and antsy.

Hope everyone is doing well.

06-12-2013, 12:41 AM
I always buy plain greek yogurt and add in fruit or a teaspoon of honey..time consuming but way fresher than the fruit greek yogurts ...FAGE is by far the best brand in terms of all natural ingredients.....

My emotional eating is not going anywhere fast....i have made peace with the fact that this is how it is going to be until my divorce is over...if it is ever over.....

06-12-2013, 09:12 PM
Zumba - just want to offer ((hugs))! I am so sorry you are going through the pain of a rough divorce.

Remember, you are an inspiration and doing good things everyday for yourself and others! :hug:

06-19-2013, 10:12 AM
How fortuitous that I come back to this thread after a month. I'm sorry so many of you are having stressful problems. Hugs all round.

As for me, I am mystified. After a long history of weight problems since childhood, I took the last nearly 10 years off from dieting; there was just too much going on, so I concentrated on not gaining any more, which was what seemed to be happening at that time when I tried to diet. I read a lot of anti-diet books and books about emotional eating and thought a lot about the concept of deprivation, emotional vs. edible, substituting one for the other, etc.

This time, it's not so much a diet, as a lifestyle change and an effort to find that elusive balance of feeling like I've given myself everything I need, even if it's m&ms, but not just eating because the nom whisperers are in my ear.

But danged if I can figure out what makes me eat when I'm not hungry! Eat things I realise afterwards I didn't even want to eat! I get through horrible emotional days, still doing fine with exercise and nutritious food, and then suddenly blow it for no reason that I can see on an otherwise good day! No particular stress, nothing. Danged if I can figure out what's going on, and it's doing my head in. It's like the wind just happened to shift and took my resolve with it and there is no other connection. I don't get what makes me binge, I don't know what my triggers are, and can't figure out why it's so bleeping hard to figure it out, if that makes any sense.


06-19-2013, 10:25 AM
MagicSusan - makes total sense. :hug:

06-19-2013, 04:08 PM
I just got up from my computer and went to the pantry, pulled out a 180calorie bag of Fritos and ate the whole thing. Why? Part boredom, partly masking my disappointment from not hearing any news on a job I applied for that I would be perfect for, and that I really need financially.

Eating for boredom and procrastination, these are part of my problem.

06-20-2013, 07:38 PM
Magicsusan and junem - I totally get you both! I am thinking about going for counseling for my emotional eating. I reached out to the wellness program through my insurance, and someone is going to call with some therapist referrals in my area within a week or so. We shall see....

06-22-2013, 03:46 AM
Thanks, New Leaf, and hugs, junem.
Yes, boredom. I think this must rank high.
Good luck with the therapy, Guac.
Really, this whole 'why can't I stop eating when I'm not hungry' scourge is rather bizarre, viewed from the future. Can you imagine kids learning about it in history three centuries from now?

Why is it so hard?

06-24-2013, 09:17 PM
Magicsusan - I wish I had the answer! Hope you had a good day.

Stayed under 1400 calories today, went walking yesterday, nothing doing with exercise today. Kids are home until Monday. Scale was at 161 this morning, ugh! TOM is almost over and I hope the scale will be kind in a few days. Dealing with some old emotional stuff, but I'm glad I didn't eat my feelings.

I tried those 100 calorie plain Quaker instant oatmeal packs for breakfast, with 1 tsp of raw honey and 1/4 blueberries. It kept me full, although I can't say I loved it. I bought a large container of plain Greek yogurt, and might try 1/2 cup tomorrow with some berries. Hope I don't gag! I hate plain yogurt. I ate lots of spinach, salad greens, and a hard boiled egg. Drank my water.

Just keep swimming.....just keep swimming....

06-25-2013, 02:36 AM
Guac, how old are your kids? If they are old enough to sort themselves out for half an hour, you could squeeze some sit-ups or dumbbell lifts in when they are home. Not trying to be a nag, just I've been there myself and try not to let anything get in the way if I can, because when I start letting anything stop me, then it seems pretty soon everything stops me.

I'm basically okay, but a bit bummed; my mood hangs on the weather and our lovely weather front that had so inspired me is gone. I'm trying to keep my *** moving anyway, but I just did some math and realised that at my current rate it will take another 2 1/2 years till I hit goal. Trying to remind myself that the journey is as important as the goal...

(ETA: make that 3.5 years... Derrrr...) Megabummed.

06-26-2013, 06:38 PM
MagicSusan, even if it takes 3.5 years, remember that you are going to enjoy the fruits of your labor for another 40 - 50 years, right? So really, the extra year or two don't matter. What matters is that you keep plugging along and stick with it.

I am going to my boys' cello recital tonight, and there is always a huge table of cookies afterwards. I'm visualizing not eating any, and anticipating feeling good about it when I get home. I'd say fingers crossed, but that would imply the outcome was somehow out of my control... I'll report back.

06-26-2013, 11:43 PM
Magicsusan - :hug: I know it seems like forever. I was certain I would reach my goal by the end of 2012 or beginning of 2013. Hasn't happened. I didn't realize that the last 30lbs come off much slower than the first 30+lbs. We have to hang in there. If this really is a lifestyle change, then it is for life, right? We've got the time to lose and then enjoy, as Newleaf said!

Newleaf - good luck with the recital and cookies! The treats they serve at events always get me every time!

Ate under my calories today, but I'm not hungry and in bed, so it looks like I will have a deficit today even without exercise.

06-27-2013, 01:20 AM
Thanks, guys; I know you're right. It's probably for the best in terms of making sure it's a permanent lifestyle change (not to mention loose skin issues, which I hope to avoid) but It's a battle not to panic some days. I feel like the last 10 years have been stolen from me because of not having the confidence to do anything but react. The weight is a symptom of that, and like the rest of us I want it gone *now* so I can start afresh.

New leaf, I just had the same thing at a flute recital. Nicked a tiny corner off a cake that one of my girls had just to try. Then I'd "had some, thanks" if anyone asked, and I drank oj and lots of mineral water.

Guac, I need to lose about 150 pounds total, so even getting within 30 pounds of goal would surely be a new life. I'm just not a very patient person.

06-27-2013, 11:37 AM
I kept to my plan after the recital last night. Someone even brought fruit, but I didn't have any, figuring it would just be a gateway to everything else on the table (cookies, pretzels, brownies, oh my!).

06-28-2013, 09:12 AM
Magicsusan - I am the queen of impatience! I want to results and I want them now! I need to see progress in each lb lost.

Newleaf - Great job on the reception food! I hear you about one small item leading to a free for all....reception fruit - the gateway drug!

I also will have to watch myself this weekend - have a few events to attend and am invited for lunch at a friend's house. Socializing and food can be a challenge.

The past 2 days the scale was at 157. I have been doing well with my food and calories. I just don't want to blow my "lead" over the weekend. Hopefully, next week I will be incorporating more exercise into my routine, with the younger kids in camp.

06-28-2013, 05:10 PM
I hear you on the impatience, Guac. It can be so discouraging.

06-29-2013, 02:31 PM
Hi Guac, it seems like the two of us have been struggling for the longest time and not getting anywhere. I have no explanation for why I can't get it together this past year...I can blame the personal problems...but I dont want to use that as an excuse . I wish I could say that I was eating cookies, donuts, ice cream and chips and this is why my weight is not dropping, but that isn't the case...I am not saying that I have the best eating habits..far from it...but all things considered i'm not taking in all that many calories and for the love of God I"m doing a zumba class five times a week! So frustrating..but just like Newleaf said to you not too long ago something drastic has to change. Other than sticking a stick of dynamite up my butt I don't knw what that would be. I've tried it all, have every diet book ever written.......know that i feel your pain and hope that we figure this ish out..and when you do let me know becuase I am at the end of my rope.

07-08-2013, 08:54 PM
zumba - hope you are hanging in there. I am having trouble staying on track. I have absolutely no time for myself, and it's a killer having to make snacks and lunches for the kids all day. Usually, I eat my 3 meals a day and stay away from the kitchen. Can't do that this summer. Also, biking has been a challenge between rain and kids home. On a brighter note, I have been doing my elliptical machine for at least 30 minutes per weekday. I've been avoiding the scale again, because I am afraid of the read out.

Sigh....just keep swimming....just keep swimming

07-08-2013, 10:35 PM
Hi guac......I hear ya with the kids home, it is hard....but I snagged to put weight on when they were in school also.....I am going to try and be active every day and eat clean..I did ok today..but I get so hungry especially late in the day...I'll keep swimming....:(

07-12-2013, 10:11 PM
Working very hard here not to give into emotional eating... I'm not even having emotions to speak of, I just want to eat, eat, eat. I swear, at Target, it felt like the candy was leaping out of the aisles at me... It's like there's a switch in my brain. I'm not thinking about candy, and then all of a sudden a switch flips and it's all I can think of! That, and anything else remotely sweet. Anyway, posting here is my diversion...

07-12-2013, 10:47 PM
All I can picture is a hyena fresh after a kill, with blood dripping off its face, and that sated look. That's me, after the candy binge. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN.

Eeewwww, I just googled images of bloody hyenas. Yeah, not going to happen.

07-14-2013, 02:55 AM

Eeewwww, I just googled images of bloody hyenas. Yeah, not going to happen.


That's one way to avoid a binge!

07-18-2013, 07:02 PM
Wow! That bloody hyena image is pretty powerful! LOL! I can relate.

I am in the middle of TOM from ****! I've had PMS for 1 week and cramps and aches for the past 4 days of TOM. The scale is up to 161. I managed to stay at a calorie deficit for the past 2 days. 3 if I can hold on for the rest of today without binging. All I want is sugar and chocolate! I can't keep doing this every month. I am thinking about calling my gyn about hormonal birth control options, even though I have managed to stay away from the pill for the past 8 years. I just don't know what to do about these symptoms and cravings.

I had a nice comment today, but it brought me down too. A woman I know lost a lot of weight recently. She always used to compliment me last year and ask how I was losing the weight. Today it was my turn to compliment her. She looks amazing. She told me I was her inspiration! That was nice to hear, but I feel so fat, it seems like I really blew it. I know I should take this as motivation to finally achieve my goal and not feel down about myself.

Anyway, keep on trucking, ladies! :hug:

07-19-2013, 12:05 PM
Awww, Guac, I'm sorry you're having a tough time of it :hug:
Anyway, a setback in no way stops you from being a hero, does it? I mean, aren't the most boring heroes the ones who never have a tough time or a struggle? If not for the meanies and the Kryptonite, it would just be Superman tidying up day after day. *Yawn*

Seriously, though, all I can say is look for patterns so you can try to identify what makes you lust for sugar and then try to avoid those triggers... Not much help, I know...

07-19-2013, 05:25 PM
Hello everyone.....as you can see from my ticker I am gaining instead of losing..not fun. I look and feel lousey. Today I purposely went to the mall to look at pretty clothes for inspiration. I wont buy anything the way I look now. I read somewhere that our weight is a symptom of our lives. well ain't that the truth! My life is falling apart and so am I. I am actually becoming unsocial because of it too....I have the opportunity to go out tonight but i'm staying in because I just feel fat and ugly...not healthy, huh?

07-19-2013, 05:34 PM
Magicsusan - Thanks! My triggers are both hormonal and emotional. I think I need to try the easier fix first - the hormonal.

Zumbachica - :hug: Take inspiration where you can get it. I'm so sorry you are going through rough times. At least the summer sunshine is here. I always feel better in the summer - which is pretty scary considering how lousy I feel! I hope that you can look ahead to the months ahead and see a way through past your divorce. It won't always be this bad! It's stormy now, but there will eventually be calm waters ahead.

07-19-2013, 11:39 PM
Thanks Guac. We have had a heat wave so it's just as bad as winter....in the house with the A/C.....hiding from 90 degrees and extreme humidity....bleh...I'm in a bad depression...not much could cheer me up now.

07-20-2013, 11:56 PM
zumba - hang in there, girlfriend! I am going through some mental garbage right now too. Having flashbacks to a bad time in my life, and it's causing me to self soothe with food. I feel so heavy right now, and I look it too. We'll get through this somehow! :hug:

07-24-2013, 03:49 PM
I'm new here and am an emotional eater. I think this is a great thread.

I'm doing good because I got on the scale and I've lost 5.2 lbs! I know it's fluid, but the number sure looked better! :D

One of my emotional crutches is Pepsi Throwback (real sugar). I'm trying very hard to cut it down and eventually out, at least at home. I've gotten it down to twice a day, am and supper. (AM for the caffeine, I don't drink coffee.) It seems to be working!

07-24-2013, 04:18 PM
I need this thread, too! My recent conundrum is that I've lost almost 100 pounds, but I still have some very unhealthy habits .... I just do the unhealthy habits less often. I can still make a batch of cookies and eat a third of them before the end of the day, so I stopped baking cookies at home. Baked goods don't stay in my presence long. I've also noticed that it's not just baked goods, it's whatever's the best "crave" food in the house! If I eliminate sweets or comforting carbs, it becomes the next best thing in the house, even if it's just a brick of cheese.

I almost always wake up thinking of drinking a diet soda as a way to energize. If I stop to get a soda before work, I am often tempted with pastries. Today, I decided if I have time to stop for soda, I have time to walk around the block quick before work. I made coffee at home instead, and walked around the block. I hope to train my first morning thought to be about that quick walk as a way to energize, instead of a diet soda.

It turns out my day was more challenging than expected, and I'm glad I got the walk done!

07-24-2013, 05:26 PM
Good job Hyacinth! :dancer: You also saved yourself some $$.

07-24-2013, 06:24 PM
Lass322 - Congrats on the 5.2 lbs! :carrot: Changing habits bit by bit works well for me. Cutting down to 2 Pepsi drinks per day is awesome! I was a "coke" addict myself! :) I could drink 8-12 cans per day. Now I can't even imagine drinking one.

Hyacinth - 100 lbs is amazing! I think I put on 10 lbs this year from my home baked cookies. I haven't baked any in over 2 months. I just can't handle them! Knowing your triggers is half the battle!

Welcome to the thread!

07-24-2013, 06:38 PM
Thank you! :)

07-29-2013, 07:05 PM
Hello, everyone. I've kind of been missing in action because of my summer schedule with my kids. I haven't been able to focus on diet and exercise nearly as much as I would like. To top it off, my hormones have been going crazy. I finally broke down and went to my gyn today. My options are limited because of my high blood pressure, but she put me on a progesterone pill for 2 weeks every month on the 12 day of my cycle. I started the pill today. I am terrified about weight gain, although I have read there is an initial gain/bloat, and when your body/hormones normalize you start losing again. All I know is that the emotional PMS state that is plaguing me almost all the time needs to end. The craving and emotional eating are out of control. I surely hope this helps, although I am scared about trying it. She also said I should take vitamin B and vitamin E and vitamin D. Those can help with PMS symptoms and cravings. She is also did bloodwork for thyroid, vitamin D, and Iron. Waiting to hear back on those.

07-29-2013, 07:50 PM
Guacamole, I have a friend who has similar hormonal swings, her weight doesn't fluctuate but she also is on thyroid meds. I hope you hear some answers soon! Not knowing is the worst part.

I've been pretty good on the energizing walk instead of a diet soda. I think I got a soda one day out of the past five, and I have done walks all days but the day I got the soda. I hate having to vamp up discipline enough to become a daily morning exerciser, but I love-love-love getting the exercise done first thing in the morning!

I'm doing tons of yard work these days. Mowing (half-acre with a walk-behind mower), weeding landscape rock, trimming bushes, removing seedlings that I thought WERE bushes, trimming trees, sweeping driveway, etc. It may not be proper exercise, but I'm more active than if I were sitting inside burning through my netflix queue! :comp:

I'm mostly ignoring my eating habits these days, but been good about rotating in some healthier proteins that have fallen out of rotation lately: lentils, beans, fish, tuna, cottage cheese.

I made brownies BEFORE I had some short-notice company the other day, not after. Ha ha. And when they left, I sent all but one of the brownies with them in a to-go container. I was able to get my brownie fix without having to deal with a binge-worthy amount of brownies in my house.

07-29-2013, 08:41 PM
Hyacinth - Sounds like you are in a good place and building some great habits! Great job on giving the brownies to your guests! I actually did something similar this weekend....served a pan of brownies for lunch and left them out as treats for my kids and their friends during the afternoon. They were polished off by evening!

07-29-2013, 10:25 PM
Hi everyone...still no progress here....I haven't been eating sweets and hardly any diet coke.....it isn't making a difference on the scale but I feel it is baby steps.

I spoke to my therapist a bit about my eating hang ups....I don't want to call it a disorder, but I definitely do not have a healthy relationship with food....we talked and I discovered that it isn't just weight loss that I'm having a problem with..it is most areas of my life....I need to give myself a break during this divorce process.......but I know I'll feel so much better if I could control my weight....I'm going back to my shakes starting tomorrow...lots of lemon water...

07-30-2013, 01:46 AM
Did fairly well today. I started a food diary, ate raw string beans instead of cookies when I was hungry, & drank lots of lime water. I'm going to join the Y this week so I can start swimming. All in all, a good Monday!

07-30-2013, 03:20 PM
Hello all. Really down today. Since my doctor's visit yesterday revealed a high blood pressure, I took it again last night at the local pharmacy. 163/101! I took it again this morning at the pharmacy and it was 157/101! I haven't had high blood pressures like this in at least 5 years! No wonder I am feeling so crappy. I have worked so hard to naturally lower my blood pressure through weight loss and diet. I was so proud of my accomplishment in this area, as much as the weight loss if not moreso. I know I haven't been doing well food wise in the past few months...well, not like I was rocking it before. Is that what is making the difference or is it something more? Waiting for my bloodwork to come back, and then I will take it from there. I am supposed to receive a new electronic blood pressure cuff from Amazon tomorrow, so I can take my pressures at home again. My old one broke earlier this year.

07-31-2013, 01:15 PM
I'm so sorry, Guac! What a drag. I hope you get that BP sorted out. I guess this is nature's way of holding us accountable for what we eat, a bit :(

Hello, lass, I haven't said hello to you yet. Looks like you're off to a good start!

08-01-2013, 02:12 PM
Moon dance..I am so sorry.

Guac..I'm right up there with you...take a deep breath.....you still are committed and that is in itself is half the battle.

08-01-2013, 09:19 PM
Love you ladies! I have been on a regimen of lisiniprol upping it by 10mg each day and seeing how my blood pressure is doing. I was on 40mg before, today I took 30mg. BP was at 143/87. Better, but not normal. Probably take 40mg tomorrow....back to the maximum dose. I will take it from there. Looks like I will have to be on meds to normalize my pressure. Then I can work on diet and exercise and weight loss and see if I can slowly wean off again. Last time my pressure was this bad I was over 200lbs! What gives?

Bloodwork still not in and my BP cuff did not arrive yet. Been taking pressures at the pharmacy, which is a pain. Yesterday I went walking and for a short bike ride. I am starting to feel better. I didn't have to take Advil this morning for a headache. :carrot:

I kind of feel like I am not going to be able to get fully sorted out until the kids go back to school and I have more time to myself. We are going on a road trip in 2 weeks and I really need my BP to normalize by then.

Hope you are all doing well....


08-02-2013, 04:25 PM
Quick check-in - blood work is back and thyroid and kidney functions are normal. :carrot: Low potassium, which I knew, but within normal range. Everything on the chem panel was normal except - really low vitamin D! That could explain why I have been feeling so down and crappy! It doesn't explain the hypertension, though. Ahh well, still taking the BP meds and my monitor should come in later today.

Take care, ladies!

08-02-2013, 04:44 PM
Guacamole, good news! Hope the BP remains in control, and getting more sunshine doesn't sound like a horrible doctor's order. :)

Zumbachica, I have similar thoughts about eating habits. I am not sure a full "disorder" makes sense to me, but I certainly am no stranger to episodic disordered or unhealthy eating.

Things are pretty good here. The past week was slightly frustrating at work, but I don't feel like I responded with food in a bad way. I'm glad the work week is almost over. I'm expecting the weekend be balmy and nice, in weather and in mood. :)

08-06-2013, 11:14 PM
Doing crappy....my handle on stuff was short lived....in one week I will be at an event with five thousand people and I'll be feeling oh so awful...

08-06-2013, 11:15 PM
Guac glad you're good..how much vit d did they suggest you take?

08-07-2013, 03:26 PM
Zumba, I hope you get things on an even keel! Sounds really stressful at the moment. Try not to panic, if you can. :hug:

08-08-2013, 09:33 PM
I'm finding I'm hungry every 2 hours or so. I wonder if it's because I'm so focused on food. I can't get a break from thinking about it. Should I be concerned about this?

08-08-2013, 10:24 PM
Lass, I go through phases like this too. I find if I can make my obsessive thoughts about a different project, I can get through the day without making food my "project." Filling my day with the following activities helps: chore-related goals (especially physically active ones), making a list of errands and ticking a few off in a day, hobbies, meeting friends for walks, etc.

If I am feeling a consistent and compelling hunger, I ask myself if it is "head hunger" or "stomach hunger." Usually it's head hunger, which often allows in my mind an opportunity to think of a non-food solution.

If I still must eat, I try to fill up with raw vegetables and fruits, and whole foods.

That said, the past week or so I have been not following a lot of my own advice. Probably anxiety-based comfort eating, but I decided that whatever I am anxious about isn't going to be any better if I anxiety-eat ten pounds on!

08-09-2013, 12:39 PM
Guac I wish I can give you a big hug thru the computer...I say it's scary that I aimed 15 lbs while working out almost every day...I guess I've hit that point in my forties that I'll have to starve and run marathons to lose weight...and I know neither is happening...

08-25-2013, 12:17 PM
Hello all! Been away for awhile on vacation and trying to catch up with all of you!

Zumba - Big hugs to you!! I am on 50,000 iu (international units) of Vitamin D once a week for 8 weeks. It seems to be wreaking havoc with my digestive system! However, my hair doesn't seem to falling out in clumps like it was before! :)

My BP is still in the pre-hypertensive range even on meds, but that's about as good as it gets for some of us. I still don't have myself sorted out, and will have to make some appointments after kids start school later this week. I am getting confused organizing my pills and vitamins each day - some pills I take at night and others in the morning. I'm going to have buy myself a decent pill organizer because my simple weekly one isn't cutting it.

My weight just doesn't seem to go down without some deprivation/hunger pangs on my part. Also throw in a dab of muscle fatigue from serious work-outs. If I take it easy diet or exercise wise my weight either stubbornly refuses to go down or it pops up at the slightest gastronomic indulgence.

Getting old is no fun.

Lass - When I am in serious weight-loss mode and often hungry, I too see chicken legs and donuts in every lamp post and car tire. Food becomes even more of an obsession than when I am off the wagon diet-wise. It's normal.

08-25-2013, 12:58 PM
Guac, glad to see you are still chugging away. I bet it will feel good to get your health sorted out once and for all... Yeah, September is always a big dr's month, once the kids go back to school. Which reminds me... I need to make an appt!

08-29-2013, 10:46 AM
Out of the mouths of babes...

I had to meet my daughter in town the other day, and she said "I found you easy, Mom! I just looked for a big blue lady!" (I was wearing blue that day.)
I'll be so happy when 'big' isn't the first word people think of to describe me.


08-29-2013, 12:14 PM
Awwww, magicSusan, mouths of babes indeed... You will get there! I loved you "kick the can" emoticon; hadn't seen that one before.

09-03-2013, 05:21 PM
I'm fine about it, really, Heidi; just get these attacks of impatience from time to time. And, as you say, I have an excuse to use the can-kicker emoticon. :D

09-03-2013, 09:03 PM
magicSusan, I am so impressed with your weightloss -- I saw your numbers in the weigh-in thread. Keep up the great work!!