Weight Loss Support - Fat and Depressed




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needchangenow
05-16-2013, 08:20 PM
I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I remember being in elementary school eating carrot sticks and an apple while everyone around me ate those gummy snacks and cookies. So why have I always been chubby?

I've literally been yo-yo dieting my whole life. Now 26 I have recently reached my heaviest 239, and this has happened in the past year, 10 of those lbs I've put on in the past month. I believe part of it is due to a crappy migraine medication (a whole separate issue) and part of it is due to unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle.

For the past few months I have avoided all of my friends and any large social functions because I feel awful about mysef. Nobody has seen me this big. My clothes don't fit good. I just don't want to be seen. I'd rather stay in my house and eat...and the cycle continues. I now think I may be on the brinks of depression. I didn't go to my friends baby shower, another friends wedding, etc. I know, I feel like a really shitty person. But that's why I'm here. I need change.

Over the past few years I can remember one amazing summer where I dropped just 10lbs for a friends wedding, I weighed about 200lbs and looked and felt wonderful. I know to most people that is still morbidly obese, but to me that's an achievable weight that I can actually remember weighing. I think that was the last time I actually had confidence in the way I looked. I felt good in my clothes, I liked how I looked, and because of that I actually looked forward to social situations.

I want to be me again. I want to be that confident social butterfly. Now where do I start? I've tried atkins, failed miserably and gained more weight back. I've been on phentermine multiple times, that works, but I took one yesterday and still ate chocolate and wendys like it was my job. I have zero energy, again due to a stupid migraine medication, but if I don't take it I will lay around with a headache anyway, so it's a lose lose.

For the past few hours I've been trying to convince myself to get off the couch and do laundry and then do some zumba on the wii, but I wrote this instead. Help!


lin43
05-16-2013, 08:40 PM
I don't have the magic formula for you. I've learned that there just comes a time when you've truly "had it." It's a mental click during which you realize that losing weight is worth more to you than food, wanting to sit around, etc. It's sort of like hitting rock bottom.

However, I have found that sometimes thinking about how far one has to go can be a detriment to starting. That's why it sometimes helps to initially focus on behavioral goals rather than weight loss goals. For instance, you might focus on cutting out snacks at night and walking during lunch (those are just examples; you choose what to focus on). Those are achievable. Even if you're not perfect with them (and most people aren't), if you can make gradual changes that you do most of the time, that will make a difference. Once you get the ball rolling, so to speak, that usually will inspire you to make even more changes.

You aren't alone, though. Read through some posts here, and you'll pick up even more pointers. Good luck!

Sonyasbug
05-16-2013, 09:07 PM
Depression and weight issues goes hand in hand. Sucks. I know. It sounds like your ready and that's all the motivation you need. I get asked all the time what made me want to loose the weight. I don't know that exact answer, just that I was ready. I took it one day at a time and I still do that 390 something days later. Make each day a victory and eventually they add up! Good luck and remember you ARE worth this journey.


Arctic Mama
05-16-2013, 09:24 PM
I'm sorry you're struggling! I was fat for years before I was finally 'ready' to change it, as Lin mentioned. Unless you're truly iron clad committed to changing the way you relate to diet and exercise its a long, hard road to manage your size. Even being fed up and miserable often isn't enough, it's got to 'click', and then it is just a matter of time and adherence.

It CAN be done, we lose two pounds the same way we lose two hundred; that is, one pound at a time. If a full lifestyle overhaul isn't something you can permanently adopt in one fell swoop, maybe focus on one good habit at a time? Or even just focus on not gaining, which is a victory in and of itself? Talk to your doctor as well - some migraine and depression medications are well known for messing up your hormones, especially serotonin. Some also cause out and out insulin resistance, as a documented side effect. It could be that a change in what you're taking could make this much easier on you.

I wish I had better advice, but nothing will work long term unless you're 'there' and willing to never go back to how you were eating and living before weight loss. Permanent changes in how you manage your health are what are needed, and those can't easily be forced. This site is so excellent for encouragement and examples of success, so maybe what someone says or has done will help it click for you - don't give up on yourself!

Arctic Mama
05-16-2013, 09:26 PM
Depression and weight issues goes hand in hand. Sucks. I know. It sounds like your ready and that's all the motivation you need. I get asked all the time what made me want to loose the weight. I don't know that exact answer, just that I was ready. I took it one day at a time and I still do that 390 something days later. Make each day a victory and eventually they add up! Good luck and remember you ARE worth this journey.

Great advice - and something I totally forgot to mention. I don't take this in big chunks either. I just focus on the very next choice and making it a health promoting one. There is no past, no guilt, no ruminating on perceived failures, just moving forward one step at a time. That's life for me and will always be so :)

hhm6
05-16-2013, 09:54 PM
I feel like I could have written this! Some of the things you mentioned echoed my own feelings a couple years ago when I hit my highest weight (which was 200+) but for me, I knew the only thing that would take me out of my "weight depression" was some form of quick weight loss. Which I know is bad, and unhealthy, but I didn't take supplements or anything. I had a friend who did Dukan diet we did the "attack phase" together which is basically all protein (kinda like ideal protein diet) you lose a few lbs pretty quickly, but it's exactly what kept me going, and I'm still on doing it!

I feel like you should find something that is sustainable and not feel like "work" it should be something that even after your goal weight is reached you could keep up with. If you havent' heard of Dukan I would look it up! There isn't any calorie counting, and it's basically low carb/sugar and I love it! YOu don't have to buy anything extra either, it's just picking healthier choices.

This is coming from someone who has a major sweet tooth too. I would buy little debbie snacks and keep a backup of them and not exercise (thank god no one knows me on here otherwise I would never admit to this!) but I'm just saying I know what it's like to feel really trapped and feel like there isn't a way but trust me there is!! I'm 26 too and two years ago when I was my highest weight for 5 months I didn't go anywhere, no social events, no birthday dinners (not even my own), it was awful. I knew I had to make a change quickly instead of giving myself a false sense of hope that I would change "one day".

Anyway, didn't mean to write that much! but your message sounds exactly like something I would write! and also just wanted to say the fact that you're on here looking for help is a great start!! There is a wealth of information on this site. I love the 3FC community! :hug: You can do this!!!

Lecomtes
05-16-2013, 10:32 PM
There is nothing better I could say, and no wiser advice I could give than the lovely people who have already shared their wisdom...but I just wanted to wish you luck and welcome to 3FC. :)

DietHope
05-16-2013, 11:01 PM
Just know that you're not alone
Lots of us have the same issues. I have been overweight for way too long now. I know how you feel. Some days-getting out of bed sucks.
You're not alone.

GMNEVO
05-16-2013, 11:24 PM
As discusses above more than one person can relate, I am 25 and haven't seen a 1XX in my weight in 10 years + its even hard for me to imagine how it would feel. I love food with a passion but I love me more and I want to go to the mall into more than 1 store since thats the only one that sell clothes that fit me, or get out of the women section and start using clothes for people my age!. Its a hardcore journey which I started only a little over a month ago but it all starts with one choice and from there you can see that life is more fun when you can go up the stairs without feeling you will get a heart attack any minute.

needchangenow
05-17-2013, 01:50 AM
Wow, I am surprised how many of you responded. Thank you! It's good to know I'm not alone. I love all of the ideas and support. You're all amazing :)

needchangenow
05-17-2013, 02:01 AM
I feel like I could have written this! Some of the things you mentioned echoed my own feelings a couple years ago when I hit my highest weight (which was 200+) but for me, I knew the only thing that would take me out of my "weight depression" was some form of quick weight loss. Which I know is bad, and unhealthy, but I didn't take supplements or anything. I had a friend who did Dukan diet we did the "attack phase" together which is basically all protein (kinda like ideal protein diet) you lose a few lbs pretty quickly, but it's exactly what kept me going, and I'm still on doing it!

I feel like you should find something that is sustainable and not feel like "work" it should be something that even after your goal weight is reached you could keep up with. If you havent' heard of Dukan I would look it up! There isn't any calorie counting, and it's basically low carb/sugar and I love it! YOu don't have to buy anything extra either, it's just picking healthier choices.

This is coming from someone who has a major sweet tooth too. I would buy little debbie snacks and keep a backup of them and not exercise (thank god no one knows me on here otherwise I would never admit to this!) but I'm just saying I know what it's like to feel really trapped and feel like there isn't a way but trust me there is!! I'm 26 too and two years ago when I was my highest weight for 5 months I didn't go anywhere, no social events, no birthday dinners (not even my own), it was awful. I knew I had to make a change quickly instead of giving myself a false sense of hope that I would change "one day".

Anyway, didn't mean to write that much! but your message sounds exactly like something I would write! and also just wanted to say the fact that you're on here looking for help is a great start!! There is a wealth of information on this site. I love the 3FC community! :hug: You can do this!!!

Yes, exactly!! Everything you said I can relate to, the stashes of sweets, no exercise, telling myself I'll lose the weight "one day".

I lost 7 lbs in one week on Atkins about 2 months ago...then I quit and gained it all back plus 10 more. Low carb was really hard for me. Im not a big meat person and I found that the more I told myself I couldn't have carbs and sugar the more I wanted it. Ugh. It's going to be like that with any diet though. My mom just lost 20lbs on atkins too, of course she is probably 100lbs less than me, go figure, but she could live off of bacon, eggs, cheese and butter. Puke.

Dukan sounds a little bit like atkins? What'd you eat during the attack phase?

needchangenow
05-17-2013, 02:08 AM
I'm sorry you're struggling! I was fat for years before I was finally 'ready' to change it, as Lin mentioned. Unless you're truly iron clad committed to changing the way you relate to diet and exercise its a long, hard road to manage your size. Even being fed up and miserable often isn't enough, it's got to 'click', and then it is just a matter of time and adherence.

It CAN be done, we lose two pounds the same way we lose two hundred; that is, one pound at a time. If a full lifestyle overhaul isn't something you can permanently adopt in one fell swoop, maybe focus on one good habit at a time? Or even just focus on not gaining, which is a victory in and of itself? Talk to your doctor as well - some migraine and depression medications are well known for messing up your hormones, especially serotonin. Some also cause out and out insulin resistance, as a documented side effect. It could be that a change in what you're taking could make this much easier on you.

I wish I had better advice, but nothing will work long term unless you're 'there' and willing to never go back to how you were eating and living before weight loss. Permanent changes in how you manage your health are what are needed, and those can't easily be forced. This site is so excellent for encouragement and examples of success, so maybe what someone says or has done will help it click for you - don't give up on yourself!


Ahh yes how true. I need to focus on one lb at a time. One lb a week is 52lbs at the end of a year! I can't wait to read your blog!

needchangenow
05-17-2013, 02:10 AM
As I look at all of your little weight loss tickers I am dying to know how you all lost your weight?

fitmama84
05-17-2013, 10:48 AM
I know exactly how you feel. I'm depressed about my weight too. But commit to a plan and you can do it!

hhm6
05-17-2013, 10:28 PM
Yes, exactly!! Everything you said I can relate to, the stashes of sweets, no exercise, telling myself I'll lose the weight "one day".

I lost 7 lbs in one week on Atkins about 2 months ago...then I quit and gained it all back plus 10 more. Low carb was really hard for me. Im not a big meat person and I found that the more I told myself I couldn't have carbs and sugar the more I wanted it. Ugh. It's going to be like that with any diet though. My mom just lost 20lbs on atkins too, of course she is probably 100lbs less than me, go figure, but she could live off of bacon, eggs, cheese and butter. Puke.

Dukan sounds a little bit like atkins? What'd you eat during the attack phase?

I'm going to PM you with the details! I feel like I might derail this thread otherwise lol :)

hhm6
05-17-2013, 10:43 PM
Ok, I guess I can't PM you? Weird I have never seen that before lol.

I have never done atkins, but Dukan is basically a diet that is low carb, low sugar, and high protein. There are different phases, attack is the first phase where you kind go cold turkey for 5-10 days and let you body adjust to you eating differently. It's all protein, except for oat bran which you can have two tbps of everyday. Here is a sample of what I would eat one day on the attack phase.

I should also mention that I do a modified version of Dukan, but I'm still losing which is what I love!

Breakfast
-Oat bran pancake
-1 egg white
-fat free milk
-1 tbsp fat free greek yogurt
-occasionally will use agave syrup no more than a tbsp if I want the sugar

lunch
-tuna with fat free mayo

snack
-fat free cottage cheese
-i will add agave syrup on here too if im craving something sweet

dinner
-grilled chicken

I also drink a lot of water, def more than 8 cups a day. I feel like it gets rid of any water weight I'm retaining and quite honestly sometimes ice water can make my hunger pangs go away.

It is difficult in the beginning, but trust me it gets better! I only did the attack phase for 5 days (got bored and not a huge fan of meat either), I lost 8lbs which isn't a lot but it gave me some confidence in myself that I could do this. The next phase is called cruise which is where you stay the longest, and that is where I have lost the other 20lbs! I can eat all kinds of veggies except things that are starchy/sweet (potatoes, yams, corn, peas) but almost everything else is fine! season them and eat them with chicken and slowly but surely after you're away from the carbs you really won't want them anymore.

It sounds crazy but it's true! Anyway, let me know if you have any other questions! :)

shcirerf
05-17-2013, 11:02 PM
Tossing in my 2 cents worth.

Rather than looking at this as a diet, you might be better off, to experiment with limiting or eliminating certain foods, and see how it affects your health and headaches.

Commit to small changes in diet, and commit to small changes in activity. Track it, and observe what works and does not.

While it seems on the surface to be a bit of a backwards approach, from a weight loss perspective, getting a handle on your health and how food and exercise affect how you feel, is important.

This may take a bit of time, but will be worth it in the end.:hug:

LaurenM427
05-19-2013, 09:48 AM
NeedChangeNow:

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling blue. I think probably everyone on this forum has been there at one time or another. I think you should do everything in your power to be happy at the weight you're at NOW (I believe it was 239). Only when you become happy with who you are in this moment will you gain the power to change.

Remember, the weight is just a symptom of what's going on inside your head. It's not the cause of your problems, it's the symptom of them. As a recovered binge eater, I once felt also that there would be no possible way out of my misery. I'm 29, and only in the past year has my disease subsided. That came with doing a lot of work on finding out who I am and making myself happy in other areas of my life. So the point is that often what will make you have a more normal relationship to food, is removing your focus on food entirely.

Have you tried Overeater's Anonymous? That helps a lot with taking the edge off of the stress surrounding any sort of disordered eating.

I think that would be the wisest place to start, rather than jumping in head first with diet and exercise. You can only really succeed in dieting when your head's in the right place.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Love,

Lauren

needchangenow
05-19-2013, 03:46 PM
How do I get a PM? lol Will it just pop up?

needchangenow
05-19-2013, 04:18 PM
Thank you all for your input! I have been trying a little bit of everything the past few days. I'm just trying to eat healthier less processed crap, which ends up being tons more veggies, a little bit of protein, fruit, and whole grain...we will see. My boyfriend ordered chinese last night and I made myself a really good avacado and chicken salad. His food smelt soooo good, and I was tempted, I even convinced myself it was OK to have one crab ragoon because that was better than having a whole meal right? But by the time he was done cooking my chicken on the grill his chinese was cold so he put in in the oven, then by the time it was warm I was done with my salad and pretty content so I wanted nothing to do with his chinese. I never had that crab ragoon. Victory for me. I think I just need to stay one step ahead of my hunger.

As for Dunkan...those pancakes sound great! I use to make these oatmeal, egg white, cottage cheese pancakes before that were yummy and healthy too. Dunkan sounds really similar to Atkins, same idea. I know it works. I just got caught up in using the Atkins bars and shakes with all the fake sugar stuff and I'm sure that put my weight loss on hold. I work in healthcare, and have recently seen a huge spike in cancer, it breaks my heart. I can't help but think it has to do with the chemicals in our food. Even if it's not from that, it can't be good for us, and who knows, maybe cutting all that out may help my headaches too. Time will tell. Sounds like you just stuck to real food on Dukan right?

needchangenow
05-19-2013, 04:33 PM
NeedChangeNow:

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling blue. I think probably everyone on this forum has been there at one time or another. I think you should do everything in your power to be happy at the weight you're at NOW (I believe it was 239). Only when you become happy with who you are in this moment will you gain the power to change.

Remember, the weight is just a symptom of what's going on inside your head. It's not the cause of your problems, it's the symptom of them. As a recovered binge eater, I once felt also that there would be no possible way out of my misery. I'm 29, and only in the past year has my disease subsided. That came with doing a lot of work on finding out who I am and making myself happy in other areas of my life. So the point is that often what will make you have a more normal relationship to food, is removing your focus on food entirely.

Have you tried Overeater's Anonymous? That helps a lot with taking the edge off of the stress surrounding any sort of disordered eating.

I think that would be the wisest place to start, rather than jumping in head first with diet and exercise. You can only really succeed in dieting when your head's in the right place.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Love,

Lauren

Hi Lauren,

Aww your so sweet. You know I watched this show the other day about these plus size women who are super confident and would never change a thing about themselves, and they were a good 100lbs more than me. I was thinking good for them, but I am not comfortable being this big. I was however comfortable at 200lbs, which still makes me pretty big. These extra 40lbs just put me out of my comfort zone. I don't feel good, I'm tired, I feel heavy, I have little energy, I can feel how heavy I am in my legs. I felt ok at 200lbs. I could run and make it up a few flights of stairs without feeling like I was going to pass out. I can also see the heaviness in my face now, which really bothers me.

So I don't know if I can be happy at this weight, because I literally feel awful, physically awful. I'm only 5'2 so going from 200 to 239 is a lot on a little frame. But I do get where you're coming from. Removing the focus from food is a huge problem. Being on a "diet" the focus is COMPLETELY on food. Constantly making grocery lists and thinking about healthy recipes.

What did you do to take the focus off food?

Amarantha2
05-19-2013, 07:39 PM
Saw this yesterday but had nothing to add to the good advice you received. Just wanted to say hi & glad you seem more upbeat. Hugs to you. Don't worry, you'll get where you want to be. It really doesn't come from other people, it really is that little click inside our own head. When you hear that, nothing can stop you. Be well. :wave:

hhm6
05-19-2013, 09:49 PM
Thank you all for your input! I have been trying a little bit of everything the past few days. I'm just trying to eat healthier less processed crap, which ends up being tons more veggies, a little bit of protein, fruit, and whole grain...we will see. My boyfriend ordered chinese last night and I made myself a really good avacado and chicken salad. His food smelt soooo good, and I was tempted, I even convinced myself it was OK to have one crab ragoon because that was better than having a whole meal right? But by the time he was done cooking my chicken on the grill his chinese was cold so he put in in the oven, then by the time it was warm I was done with my salad and pretty content so I wanted nothing to do with his chinese. I never had that crab ragoon. Victory for me. I think I just need to stay one step ahead of my hunger.

As for Dunkan...those pancakes sound great! I use to make these oatmeal, egg white, cottage cheese pancakes before that were yummy and healthy too. Dunkan sounds really similar to Atkins, same idea. I know it works. I just got caught up in using the Atkins bars and shakes with all the fake sugar stuff and I'm sure that put my weight loss on hold. I work in healthcare, and have recently seen a huge spike in cancer, it breaks my heart. I can't help but think it has to do with the chemicals in our food. Even if it's not from that, it can't be good for us, and who knows, maybe cutting all that out may help my headaches too. Time will tell. Sounds like you just stuck to real food on Dukan right?


Yes, I do! This is completely personal, but being a student I hated diets where I had to buy certain foods, it was costly, and I felt like I would gain weight once i stopped buying them.

To be honest, I do a "modified" version of Dukan. I follow the guidelines, like the protein days I will eat all protein like tuna, chicken, but I will add a little soy sauce, chili sauce, something so my taste buds are satisfied lol. Eating bland food makes me crave more sometimes!

I just make sure I eat the oat bran every single day because it keeps me full for so long! I really like it this diet but it doesn't feel like a real diet and it's the only one I've come across that was cheap and I could keep up with. if you have any other questions let me know!:)

Oh and if you want to PM anyone you just click on their name and it will open a drop down menu that says "Send private message to -----" Hope that helps!

gongjubyung
05-23-2013, 11:24 PM
which migraine drug are you taking? depakote is known to cause weight gain. maybe ask if you can get switched to topamax. makes you cloudy, but weight loss is inevidable

Torii
05-24-2013, 09:30 AM
I get depressed about my weight a lot too. And just recently I was in a huge downfall. I went to a gym for an interview and was the fattest person there..lol i went home crying cos of how I looked. But it was kind of a wake up call for me so
what I have been doing since that day was SRSLY breaking down on what I eat. I count calories and say NO to a lot of things. I drink only water and tea. And I go for a walk/jog around 6am when its just day out, cos it feels the most comfy and not a whole lot of people are around. So you don't feel as watched.
And just do a simple workout. Mix up the two.
I've actually lost a little bit already so it feels good~
Just take it one step at a time. Start with trying to eat less of what you eat now.

cincorn
05-24-2013, 09:40 AM
Most of us have been where you are! We eat our feelings, we are sensitive. First of all you have to believe that you are worth it and then just as someone said it "clicks" that you WANT this with EVERY fiber of your being and you DESERVE it, and if others can do it so can you! I believe that's the right attitude. A low carb approach works best for me but their are many fine programs, Weight Watchers, nutrisystem, ideal protein, etc. which will help you. But really, you can do it without all of those too. Become your own best advocate. Research your options and what works within your budget. There are many, many amazing success stories on this forum. Look at all the people who have reached goal, their pictures and their stories for inspiration!

rubidoux
05-25-2013, 04:21 AM
Yes, exactly!! Everything you said I can relate to, the stashes of sweets, no exercise, telling myself I'll lose the weight "one day".

I lost 7 lbs in one week on Atkins about 2 months ago...then I quit and gained it all back plus 10 more. Low carb was really hard for me. Im not a big meat person and I found that the more I told myself I couldn't have carbs and sugar the more I wanted it. Ugh. It's going to be like that with any diet though. My mom just lost 20lbs on atkins too, of course she is probably 100lbs less than me, go figure, but she could live off of bacon, eggs, cheese and butter. Puke.

Dukan sounds a little bit like atkins? What'd you eat during the attack phase?

I have lost almost 50 pounds now doing low carb even though I generally do not dig low carb foods. I love bacon but only w some nice crusty bread and ripe tomato, or pancakes and maple syrup. In general, though, I'm not a big meat person, but I have made it work for me. My favorite meal, which I have several times a week is 1 1/2 ounces of cheddar (this is a really yummy cheddar, before I tried it I didn't even think I liked cheddar), 1 ounce mesquite roasted almonds and two little wedges of dark chocolate. So even though I don't generally love LC food, I have a few things that get me through.

I'm not trying to talk you into LC, but just saying whatever you choose to do, you can make it your own.

You sound to me a lot like how I felt when I started losing. I had just jumped up by about 15 pounds and all of the sudden I just didn't feel right. It was even harder to roll over in bed. And I just knew that I couldn't go on like that. I was also very scared of continuing to gain. Who knows where it would stop??? And like the others have said, something clicked. You may look back at this in a few months and see that something was clicking for you now.

RavenWolf
05-26-2013, 11:50 AM
I've lost 44 pounds since January 1st. I track everything I eat and drink in My Fitness Pal and it has made all the difference. I make sure I don't drink my calories like I used to.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14 but have struggled with it since way before that. I was not always fat, though.

For years I wanted to lose weight, but "couldn't." I thought I was doing everything. But turns out, I wasn't. I didn't weigh/measure my portion sizes. I would drink Mountain Dew like no body's business. My homemade coffees were at least 400 calories each, and I'd have 2 or more a day.

I have to agree that something just clicks and you get serious. It was like that for me for sure.

I think focusing on small goals is essential. Start small. If you tackle to much to soon you will set yourself up for failure.

I suggest you start by focusing on weighing, measuring, and logging every bite or sip you take. You will quickly get an idea of how many calories you may have been taking in.

Coming to this forum will help you tremendously. There is so much support here, and it also helps to have a place to come to and be accountable without fear of judgment.

Feel free to read through my blog below. And if you sign up for My Fitness Pal, I am RavenWolf1977 there if you would like to add me as friend.

I started in January at 229 pounds and am also the same height as you. My highest weight was a couple of years ago at 248 pounds! Just wanted to let you know I was in a similar place when starting.