100 lb. Club - Losing weight over months/years and staying patient




belovedspirit
05-10-2013, 11:45 AM
I have a question about losing a large amount of weight (especially to folks who have done it (although all thoughts are welcome!)). How do you stay patient while losing the weight when it takes months upon months or years to achieve?

For example, if I lose about 2 lbs a week, I can expect to reach onderland by December. That is freaking DECEMBER...! I know the time will come, but it seems SO far away. So much so that I wonder how I can keep this up day in and day out? I can handle healthy eating as a lifestyle, because that is what I try to do in my regular life anyway. But how do I handle the motivation to create enough of a calorie deficit to lose weight, how do I keep up the intent to lose weight, and the energy to believe I can do this *day after day* all the way until December and beyond?

Sorry if this is partially a whine. :o I feel nervous about being able to actually achieve this. And the possibility of not being able to scares me, because I feel so tired of failing at it. I'm afraid if I fail I won't pick myself up again this time. :(

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!


Mozzy
05-10-2013, 12:12 PM
This is how I look at it:

The time will pass anyways. I can either get fatter, get fitter, or stay the same.
I make the decision everyday that I'd rather put in the effort to get fitter even if it takes months or years or the rest of my life.

Good luck on your journey!

Candeka
05-10-2013, 12:23 PM
The time will pass anyways. I can either get fatter, get fitter, or stay the same.


This ^^.


Issaknits
05-10-2013, 12:33 PM
I've decided to keep an open mind about my weight loss this time around. In the past, I've been so obsessed about the number that I'd get discouraged when I didn't meet my goal, so I'd just give up.

This time, I'm focusing on how I feel. Scale didn't budge this week? That's okay, you can run a mile a minute or two faster than you could before and your clothes fit better! It took me six months to lose twenty pounds, and it's going to take a lot longer to lose the rest of what I need, but for me, creating small mini-goals like quickly walking up several flights of stairs without getting winded or finally fitting into clothes that I've stubbornly kept in the back of my closet for years help out a lot.

sluggerbean
05-10-2013, 12:44 PM
Each day I wake up and re-commit myself to weight loss. I choose to keep going. I totally agree with Mozzy; the time will pass anyway so I might as well make healthy choices.

Does it get easier? Some days more so than others. For me it is staying present and making a conscious, deliberate choice to eat healthy. Do I stray? YES!! I would not be human if I didn't.

The main thing is to take it one day, one meal, one choice at a time. Don't get overwhelmed by how much you have to go; break it down into manageable chunks. Hope this helps! :hug:

lunarsongbird
05-10-2013, 12:59 PM
I think it also depends on shifting your mindset....

As I was reading your post, I was thinking...."Holy cow...belovedspirit is going to be in ONEderland THIS December. Only months away! By next year- she will be in an entirely new chapter in her life! How exciting! That time is going to go by in a flash!"

bargoo
05-10-2013, 01:11 PM
I planned on losing 10 pounds at a time . Each time I lost ten pounds I started the next 10. If I had ever thought I needed to lose 90 pounds that would have seemed impossible.

kaplods
05-10-2013, 01:23 PM
I truly believe we're taught to be frustrated and impatient with weightloss and to expect rapid results (2 lbs per week may be safe weightloss, but it's not at all even close to average weightloss even for those of us starting in super obesity (over 300 lbs). We're taught to expect extraordinary weight loss, and we're taught to quit in frustration long before our losses fall to average, largely because we don't know what average really is, and we quit thinking we're failing even as we're doing exceptionally well, or at least pretty good.

A mindset that has helped me is to celebrate "not gaining" every bit as much as losing, because that really is half the battle, sometimes 90% of the battle. I try not to think about when I might reach my ultimate goal weight, and it really doesn't matter nearly as much as not gaining, and eating foods that are doing good things for my body besides weight loss.

When you stop worrying about dates and deadlines, and expect weight management to be a long, up and down, life-long battle, you don't have to work at patience, because impatience and frustration are a factor of unrealistic hopes and expectations - wanting something now because you deserve it now, or because you think everyone else (or at least everyone important) already has what you want.

Elladorine
05-10-2013, 01:31 PM
December seems so far off for me as well, but for completely different reasons. :preg:

I keep my focus on making each day as healthy as possible with my choices. Sit and watch TV or go for a swim? Have a donut for breakfast or a homemade smoothie? Have a slice of pie for dessert or fresh berries? Grab a Bic Mac and fries or a chicken wrap? The choices and possibilities are endless, and I've made the decision to feel good about any choices I make and how they affect me, both short-term and long-term. And I made a commitment to myself to keep up with the healthier lifestyle, regardless of the results. In other words, if I didn't lose for the week I still have to keep on trucking. In the past, not having a consistent loss was considered a failure and made me give up. Instead, I remember that healthier decisions have to be a way of life and is something I cannot give up on; trust the process and the weight loss will happen on its own.

I've lost about 150 pounds (which has taken years to accomplish), and was hoping to finally work my way to my goal by next summer since I only average a 1 pound loss per week. And even that has to be further postponed since I'm now pregnant (so talk about having to be patient)! I could choose to relax and go hog wild with my eating since I can't focus on losing right now anyway, but I'm continuing on my healthy lifestyle regardless because of my commitment and will get back into being at a calorie deficit sometime next year.

It can totally be done! :) Just don't get too focused on the numbers or on losing such-and-such by a certain date. Instead, focus on how long you can stay on-plan. For my reboot I challenged myself to stay on-plan for a full year ("on-plan" for me is keeping a fitness journal and continuing to do my best, even after the occasional slip-up) and have been going strong for 14 months. Despite the fact that I'm at my lowest weight since junior high(!) I think I'm more proud of my changed mindset than my actual weight loss.

Lecomtes
05-10-2013, 01:50 PM
I see some serious wisdom being shared in this thread...heeding it! Thanks for sharing ladies!

joefla70
05-10-2013, 02:58 PM
I planned on losing 10 pounds at a time . Each time I lost ten pounds I started the next 10. If I had ever thought I needed to lose 90 pounds that would have seemed impossible.

You know, I never really thought about it much until now, but I kinda do this too! I mean, 10 pound goals / milestones are big for a lot of people, but what I have noticed myself doing lately is do WHATEVER it takes to get to the next 10 pound increment loss... then ease up a little bit and give myself a break. I NEVER go off plan. But sometimes I will eat a little bit more of a certain item that I typically only have as a once-in-a-while treat. Some days I "take the day off" and eat a little bit less restrictively.


But then when I get impatient with the pace of my weight loss, I get obsessed again and make a commitment to do whatever it takes to take off the remaining pounds to get below that next 10 pound increment.

Unicorn67
05-10-2013, 03:05 PM
"The time will pass anyways. I can either get fatter, get fitter, or stay the same.
I make the decision everyday that I'd rather put in the effort to get fitter even if it takes months or years or the rest of my life."

This is going up on my fridge!! What wonderful words of wisdom.

Nikel1979
05-10-2013, 03:33 PM
This is the first time I've been able to stick with it and not give in to the frustration. The difference for me is that the focus isn't losing weight. I started with the focus of training for a half marathon, and the weight just came off. I did hit a plateau, but I was in the middle of a string of half marathons so I just kept doing what I was doing. Now I'm starting to focus on losing weight. I'd like to get at least 25 lbs off by the time fall classes start. I'm still working within the fitness mindset though. The less I weight, the faster I'll run. With marathon training looming, I'll take any speed boost I can get. I just added swimming in too as cross training. Plus I do some yoga and strength training. My more athletic body doesn't tolerate junk food as well, so it's becoming much easier to avoid.

I also don't focus on the big goal. Saying I want to lose around 75 more lbs is overwhelming. Focusing on how far I've come rather than how far I have to go helps. I also break it down into smaller chunks, usually 10-15 lbs. Seeing how fast my ticker can move losing 2 lbs on a 15 lb goal is encouraging. 2 lbs on a 75 lb goal is a less impressive jump, if I look at it big picture. For me, 15 lbs isn't a scary amount, and I only have to do that 5 times.

thnknthin1
05-10-2013, 03:44 PM
I agree with the other posters here. If I would have looked at it when I first started back in January 2012 on how far I had to go, I probably would have given up. But, I am soooo glad I didn't. Like others have said, you take it one day at a time. Yes, there will be those tough days and you just have to stick thru it and know it's a temporary feeling. The feeling you get seeing those numbers go down on the scale and clothes getting looser is the absolutely best feeling in the world. THAT is what keeps you motivated.

I knew I was in it for the long haul and accepted it. It was hard when I first started but it got easier and easier, now it's second nature. Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this, keep notes and pictures around the house for reminders and inspiration. Like Mozzy said, time passes either way. Make the best of it! Stick around here for extra support and motivation. Good luck! :hug:

newleaf123
05-10-2013, 03:48 PM
I planned on losing 10 pounds at a time . Each time I lost ten pounds I started the next 10. If I had ever thought I needed to lose 90 pounds that would have seemed impossible.

I do this but take it in even smaller increments. I really focus on 1 pound at a time, even 1/10th of a pound at a time. I really just work to try to get my scale lower each day, even if it is only minuscule, since all those tenths of a pound really do add up.

Even as recently as this morning, I so hoped to break into 154.x. But before I got on the scale I reminded myself -- I was 155.2 yesterday; I will be happy with 155.1 today. So when I saw 155.0 I was able to say YAY rather than BOO.

Sounds silly, I know. But you do what you've got to do...

elvislover324
05-10-2013, 04:02 PM
So much good insight and communicated so eloquently I don't even know what I can add. This forum never ceases to amaze me when one of us reaches out for help and encouragement. Simply amazing.

I don't have any words of wisdom to add but just wanted to say you are doing fabulous and I know you can do it. And we will be here every step of the way. :hug:

CherryPie99
05-10-2013, 04:56 PM
In some ways I was so naive when I started this journey. Being so heavy, I just didn't even really think I could get down below 250.

Sunday became my official weigh in day. So the only thing I focused on was hoping that on Sunday I would weigh less then I did the previous Sunday. The only time I grew inpatient is when I neared onederland and then again when I was THISCLOSE to goal.

If I had gone into this trying to calculate how long it would take me to lose 228 pounds, I would have either quit, lost my mind or both.

This journey is NOT one of leaps and bounds, it is of small steady steps.

Jen

the shiv
05-10-2013, 08:03 PM
What Mozzy said! What Kaplods said! And...

NSVs are your friend! The scale is a finicky little thing, that will make big promises, tell you want to hear, then lie to your face as soon as you eat something with salt in it. The thing that convinced me slow is ok, is that every time I've tried to lose weight quickly, I've put it back on with interest. I had a choice between being 212lbs in December, 194lbs now (via 189), and maybe by this coming December, I'll be... 170ish? 150ish? Down to 188? OR being 212lbs in December, 160lbs now, and maybe 240lbs this coming December! If you've ever done the yo-yo diet you'll know what I mean. Maintenance breaks are fine because they teach you to "do" maintenance.

Find the easiest habit for you to change and do that next, and keep at it until the change feels permanent, second nature. Then add another. I read something, somewhere once in a business context that has helped me here:

If you're pointing in the right direction, and time is passing, success is inevitable.

One thing I've learned is that there's only so much you can micromanage the whole process before it drives you mad with impatience. I've tried to maximise my weight loss efficiency to the point of stupidity. You'll get there. As long as things are changing for the better, and you can make it part of your life for good, you'll get there and stay there.

Oh, and it's... 30ish weeks to December? Imagine yourself 30lbs lighter NOW! Imagine waking up like that tomorrow. How awesome does it feel? You will get to experience THAT exact feeling, before you know it! Remember things that happened in October? If you think that feels like yesterday, it's 7 months. That's all, it's not long :)

:hug:

ubergirl
05-10-2013, 08:24 PM
A mindset that has helped me is to celebrate "not gaining" every bit as much as losing, because that really is half the battle, sometimes 90% of the battle. I try not to think about when I might reach my ultimate goal weight, and it really doesn't matter nearly as much as not gaining, and eating foods that are doing good things for my body besides weight loss.

When you stop worrying about dates and deadlines, and expect weight management to be a long, up and down, life-long battle, you don't have to work at patience, because impatience and frustration are a factor of unrealistic hopes and expectations

Thank you so much to everyone who posted on this thread! So many words of wisdom here. Especially, I want to thank Kaplods for these wise words. My ups and downs over the last 4 years have been more extreme than some, but I try to always remind myself that I weighed 295 pounds when I started this journey in June 2009, and there has never been a single day since when I have weighed that much, and that is a blessing in and of itself.

I am so guilty of doing the 2 lb a week math and fast forwarding in my head until that moment when I'm wearing all the small clothes hanging in my closet... but I'm trying very hard to stop thinking about that, and sometimes, maybe not often enough, I think like Kaplods, and I remind myself that this is a process with no end point.

SuperHeroTeacher
05-10-2013, 08:38 PM
So much amazing advice!

I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with the amount of time this process takes, and long for next spring when I can "eat normal" again. Then I remind myself that I'VE NEVER "EATEN NORMAL!" and that I'm just now beginning to learn how to eat well. I think having an end date in mind is dangerous and if you think of weight loss as having a beginning an ending, you're really risking regaining everything lost when you're "done." Just my philosophy.

AnnMarie77
05-10-2013, 08:54 PM
Such good advice here. I'm on a slow losing path. Deliberately. Because it's what I can handle in my life. I'll probably reach goal at the end of 2014.

The thing is, as you go down the scale, you will feel better as you go. That is the reward as you go.

wannaskipandlaugh
05-10-2013, 09:05 PM
Patience is such a hard thing to learn and accept. This process of losing weight is a test of and a teacher of patience. Beloved... you are really doing so well... I see it in the threads that we are in. You are so comforting to everyone and you inspire just by being you. Its just patience. Life is just so long... but time sometimes seem so long to get to the end of your journey and get what you wish for. Remember being a kid and wanting that *put an object in here... like Bicycle* and your parents said save up 1/2 and we will pay the other half and it just seemed so long before you actually saved the 1/2 and then low and behold... you had a new bike as the time had passed, you earned or whatever the 1/2 that you needed. Back then you probably also remembered how you saved or earned that money and it made that bike even more important. YOU are that important goal. You are putting the time in yourself to reach for your best. We know we have bumps (you have heard me rant about that Stupid Cake Argh) but bumps make us learn... they happen and each time they happen we learn to deal with them alittle easier. We also learn to forgive ourselves for being human and having alittle freedom and by making mistakes. I learn so much from you and everyone else... I kinda feel like a kid again learning instead of the 55 year old battleax LOL that I am.

I am thinking a dream board might be fun for you to put together items that you want when you make goal or your goals and tape them to a poster board or mirror or something that you see everyday and make it a reminder of what you are doing this for... Just thinking.

You are something special and I believe it. You the strength and fortitude. I believe in you!

MissGingerSnap
05-11-2013, 06:19 AM
Hi Everyone! I am new to the forum and in serious need of support. I have been dieting on and off for 4 years and it seems that nothing works. I was just recently on a diet and lost 12 pounds in 12 days, I was so happy and a month later I have gained 10 pounds right back. It is very frustrating. I have a new goal now. I want to get back down to 160 pounds, I am currently 252 pounds. 4 years ago I was 275, but constantly being discouraged it seems that I have frozen in the 250s and will not lose any more. I am getting married in April of 2014, I have 344 days until my wedding. Is 95 pounds possible? :?:

joefla70
05-11-2013, 07:38 AM
Hi Everyone! I am new to the forum and in serious need of support. I have been dieting on and off for 4 years and it seems that nothing works. I was just recently on a diet and lost 12 pounds in 12 days, I was so happy and a month later I have gained 10 pounds right back. It is very frustrating. I have a new goal now. I want to get back down to 160 pounds, I am currently 252 pounds. 4 years ago I was 275, but constantly being discouraged it seems that I have frozen in the 250s and will not lose any more. I am getting married in April of 2014, I have 344 days until my wedding. Is 95 pounds possible? :?:

It is absolutely possible. I've been just where you're at now... as recently as last summer. I've been obese for over 20 years. I have "tried" to do something about it in the past. I say "tried" because I'm not sure how hard I really tried. But this time I really committed to losing weight. I made a plan and followed it. An important part of success is finding a plan of eating that you can live with and thrive on long term. You have to be able to find ways to keep yourself satisfied so that you don't revert to your old ways of eating. In short, you have to find out what works for you, because what works for others, may not.

Pink Hurricane
05-11-2013, 09:08 AM
I agree with all of the PPs and Mozzy's sentiment.

The time is going to pass. I also have a large amount of weight to lose, but if I think December is too far away so I might as well say screw it for now and worry about doing it closer to then, I will have wasted so much time in which I could have already created healthier habits and been closer to goal instead of putting my health at more risk, possibly gaining more weight or just not moving any closer to my goal.

We all have off days, expect that. But keep going no matter what! In December, you will be glad you didn't give up!

punkrocksong
05-11-2013, 09:26 AM
Thank you so much for all of the incredible words of encouragement and insight! I have been guilty of of constantly thinking - "I have to lose 150 lbs...that is going to take forever...what if I can't make it." I've been so focused on the big goal, the big number, that I'm taking for granted how well I've done so far. This thread has been a big inspiration for me!

I've never tried to lose weight before...just consistently gained it. And I've learned so much through the kind and intelligent people I've met on here. I just wanted to say that I'm so happy I've found this forum.

fadedbluejeans
05-11-2013, 09:53 AM
This thread is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks everyone for sharing :-)

Kitcherella
05-11-2013, 10:04 AM
Beautiful words said. I'll just add a picture that has moved me.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c8.0.403.403/p403x403/483776_606721936007851_1902109397_n.jpg

time2lose
05-11-2013, 12:46 PM
I also focus on small goals. Looking at losing 100+ pounds is overwhelming.

I also remind myself that I have completed and excelled in large endeavors that took a long time. When I started college, I knew that it would take years but I just took it day by day, semester at a time. This is just as big a project but I can do this if I focus on what I need to do today. Do the best that I can do today and the weeks, months, and years will take care of themselves.

belovedspirit
05-11-2013, 01:32 PM
Oh wow. Thank you so much, everyone! You've all given me valuable suggestions for how I might want to deal with this. Thank you so much. I have every intention of keeping at my goals, so all of your advice is very much appreciated. :hug:

This is how I look at it:

The time will pass anyways. I can either get fatter, get fitter, or stay the same.
I make the decision everyday that I'd rather put in the effort to get fitter even if it takes months or years or the rest of my life.

Good luck on your journey!

This ^^.

Thank you for the luck wishes! lol
You're both right. Sigh. I know the time will pass. I started this journey in mid-March, and already I'm nearly 30 lbs down. Looking back on these two months, I'm so glad I started. And I know I will feel that way in December. I didn't gain the weight overnight, and I don't expect to lose it overnight. I just miss feeling the way I did at 200lbs. lol... impatience. :o

Maybe I need to start focusing on other goals to get onderland out of my mind..

I've decided to keep an open mind about my weight loss this time around. In the past, I've been so obsessed about the number that I'd get discouraged when I didn't meet my goal, so I'd just give up.

This time, I'm focusing on how I feel. Scale didn't budge this week? That's okay, you can run a mile a minute or two faster than you could before and your clothes fit better! It took me six months to lose twenty pounds, and it's going to take a lot longer to lose the rest of what I need, but for me, creating small mini-goals like quickly walking up several flights of stairs without getting winded or finally fitting into clothes that I've stubbornly kept in the back of my closet for years help out a lot.

Thank you, that's great advice!
I started out with this intention in mind, and I somehow lost track of it. You're absolutely right, though. There is SO MUCH I can focus on. This isn't about just the weight, but fitness level, how active I can be, how I feel, and so on. I don't know why I developed such a laser-point mindset. I'll be expanding it, for sure.

Each day I wake up and re-commit myself to weight loss. I choose to keep going. I totally agree with Mozzy; the time will pass anyway so I might as well make healthy choices.

Does it get easier? Some days more so than others. For me it is staying present and making a conscious, deliberate choice to eat healthy. Do I stray? YES!! I would not be human if I didn't.

The main thing is to take it one day, one meal, one choice at a time. Don't get overwhelmed by how much you have to go; break it down into manageable chunks. Hope this helps! :hug:

Thank you! I really like the idea of recommitting yourself each morning. :hug:

I think it also depends on shifting your mindset....

As I was reading your post, I was thinking...."Holy cow...belovedspirit is going to be in ONEderland THIS December. Only months away! By next year- she will be in an entirely new chapter in her life! How exciting! That time is going to go by in a flash!"

Awww, thanks hon. :)

I planned on losing 10 pounds at a time . Each time I lost ten pounds I started the next 10. If I had ever thought I needed to lose 90 pounds that would have seemed impossible.

Thanks bargoo, that's a great idea. I've seen others do it, and I think I do it a little bit but not as intentionally as I could. It might be a great way to get my mind off of the total amount. :dizzy:

I truly believe we're taught to be frustrated and impatient with weightloss and to expect rapid results (2 lbs per week may be safe weightloss, but it's not at all even close to average weightloss even for those of us starting in super obesity (over 300 lbs). We're taught to expect extraordinary weight loss, and we're taught to quit in frustration long before our losses fall to average, largely because we don't know what average really is, and we quit thinking we're failing even as we're doing exceptionally well, or at least pretty good.

A mindset that has helped me is to celebrate "not gaining" every bit as much as losing, because that really is half the battle, sometimes 90% of the battle. I try not to think about when I might reach my ultimate goal weight, and it really doesn't matter nearly as much as not gaining, and eating foods that are doing good things for my body besides weight loss.

When you stop worrying about dates and deadlines, and expect weight management to be a long, up and down, life-long battle, you don't have to work at patience, because impatience and frustration are a factor of unrealistic hopes and expectations - wanting something now because you deserve it now, or because you think everyone else (or at least everyone important) already has what you want.

Thanks Kaplods. I gained a lot of weight very quickly, and I miss being much smaller. I don't like the constraint I feel due to my weight. That is really what is driving my sense of impatience. I definitely will be shifting my mindset, though. I don't really expect overnight weight-loss, and getting frustrated with reality is not helpful.

December seems so far off for me as well, but for completely different reasons. :preg:

I keep my focus on making each day as healthy as possible with my choices. Sit and watch TV or go for a swim? Have a donut for breakfast or a homemade smoothie? Have a slice of pie for dessert or fresh berries? Grab a Bic Mac and fries or a chicken wrap? The choices and possibilities are endless, and I've made the decision to feel good about any choices I make and how they affect me, both short-term and long-term. And I made a commitment to myself to keep up with the healthier lifestyle, regardless of the results. In other words, if I didn't lose for the week I still have to keep on trucking. In the past, not having a consistent loss was considered a failure and made me give up. Instead, I remember that healthier decisions have to be a way of life and is something I cannot give up on; trust the process and the weight loss will happen on its own.

I've lost about 150 pounds (which has taken years to accomplish), and was hoping to finally work my way to my goal by next summer since I only average a 1 pound loss per week. And even that has to be further postponed since I'm now pregnant (so talk about having to be patient)! I could choose to relax and go hog wild with my eating since I can't focus on losing right now anyway, but I'm continuing on my healthy lifestyle regardless because of my commitment and will get back into being at a calorie deficit sometime next year.

It can totally be done! :) Just don't get too focused on the numbers or on losing such-and-such by a certain date. Instead, focus on how long you can stay on-plan. For my reboot I challenged myself to stay on-plan for a full year ("on-plan" for me is keeping a fitness journal and continuing to do my best, even after the occasional slip-up) and have been going strong for 14 months. Despite the fact that I'm at my lowest weight since junior high(!) I think I'm more proud of my changed mindset than my actual weight loss.

Thanks Elladorine! That's such great advice. :)

You know, I never really thought about it much until now, but I kinda do this too! I mean, 10 pound goals / milestones are big for a lot of people, but what I have noticed myself doing lately is do WHATEVER it takes to get to the next 10 pound increment loss... then ease up a little bit and give myself a break. I NEVER go off plan. But sometimes I will eat a little bit more of a certain item that I typically only have as a once-in-a-while treat. Some days I "take the day off" and eat a little bit less restrictively.

But then when I get impatient with the pace of my weight loss, I get obsessed again and make a commitment to do whatever it takes to take off the remaining pounds to get below that next 10 pound increment.

Hmm.. thanks Joe! I am really thinking about focusing on 10 lbs at a time, too. It seems like a much saner approach compared to an overwhelming 120 lbs mentality!

"The time will pass anyways. I can either get fatter, get fitter, or stay the same.
I make the decision everyday that I'd rather put in the effort to get fitter even if it takes months or years or the rest of my life."

This is going up on my fridge!! What wonderful words of wisdom.

Glad you can get something from this thread. :)

This is the first time I've been able to stick with it and not give in to the frustration. The difference for me is that the focus isn't losing weight. I started with the focus of training for a half marathon, and the weight just came off. I did hit a plateau, but I was in the middle of a string of half marathons so I just kept doing what I was doing. Now I'm starting to focus on losing weight. I'd like to get at least 25 lbs off by the time fall classes start. I'm still working within the fitness mindset though. The less I weight, the faster I'll run. With marathon training looming, I'll take any speed boost I can get. I just added swimming in too as cross training. Plus I do some yoga and strength training. My more athletic body doesn't tolerate junk food as well, so it's becoming much easier to avoid.

I also don't focus on the big goal. Saying I want to lose around 75 more lbs is overwhelming. Focusing on how far I've come rather than how far I have to go helps. I also break it down into smaller chunks, usually 10-15 lbs. Seeing how fast my ticker can move losing 2 lbs on a 15 lb goal is encouraging. 2 lbs on a 75 lb goal is a less impressive jump, if I look at it big picture. For me, 15 lbs isn't a scary amount, and I only have to do that 5 times.

Thank you for sharing your ideas! I also feel there is so much more to this process than the weight change. I want to be healthy, fit, and able to participate in life unconstrained by my weight. Those are truly my main goals. I need to reframe my thinking so I can accomplish those goals rather than drive myself insane with impatient frustration. :dizzy: Thank you for being yet another voice of reason. :)

I agree with the other posters here. If I would have looked at it when I first started back in January 2012 on how far I had to go, I probably would have given up. But, I am soooo glad I didn't. Like others have said, you take it one day at a time. Yes, there will be those tough days and you just have to stick thru it and know it's a temporary feeling. The feeling you get seeing those numbers go down on the scale and clothes getting looser is the absolutely best feeling in the world. THAT is what keeps you motivated.

I knew I was in it for the long haul and accepted it. It was hard when I first started but it got easier and easier, now it's second nature. Just keep reminding yourself why you're doing this, keep notes and pictures around the house for reminders and inspiration. Like Mozzy said, time passes either way. Make the best of it! Stick around here for extra support and motivation. Good luck! :hug:

Thank you! :hug:

I do this but take it in even smaller increments. I really focus on 1 pound at a time, even 1/10th of a pound at a time. I really just work to try to get my scale lower each day, even if it is only minuscule, since all those tenths of a pound really do add up.

Even as recently as this morning, I so hoped to break into 154.x. But before I got on the scale I reminded myself -- I was 155.2 yesterday; I will be happy with 155.1 today. So when I saw 155.0 I was able to say YAY rather than BOO.

Sounds silly, I know. But you do what you've got to do...

Naw, not silly at all. It sounds like it works well for you, and that's really most important. :carrot: The "small" successes sure add up quickly overtime!

So much good insight and communicated so eloquently I don't even know what I can add. This forum never ceases to amaze me when one of us reaches out for help and encouragement. Simply amazing.

I don't have any words of wisdom to add but just wanted to say you are doing fabulous and I know you can do it. And we will be here every step of the way. :hug:

Aw, thank you Elvislover! I appreciate your vote of confidence. :hug:

In some ways I was so naive when I started this journey. Being so heavy, I just didn't even really think I could get down below 250.

Sunday became my official weigh in day. So the only thing I focused on was hoping that on Sunday I would weigh less then I did the previous Sunday. The only time I grew inpatient is when I neared onederland and then again when I was THISCLOSE to goal.

If I had gone into this trying to calculate how long it would take me to lose 228 pounds, I would have either quit, lost my mind or both.

This journey is NOT one of leaps and bounds, it is of small steady steps.

Jen

Thanks Jen. Indeed... wise words. :)
I need to reframe my mindset.

What Mozzy said! What Kaplods said! And...

NSVs are your friend! The scale is a finicky little thing, that will make big promises, tell you want to hear, then lie to your face as soon as you eat something with salt in it. The thing that convinced me slow is ok, is that every time I've tried to lose weight quickly, I've put it back on with interest. I had a choice between being 212lbs in December, 194lbs now (via 189), and maybe by this coming December, I'll be... 170ish? 150ish? Down to 188? OR being 212lbs in December, 160lbs now, and maybe 240lbs this coming December! If you've ever done the yo-yo diet you'll know what I mean. Maintenance breaks are fine because they teach you to "do" maintenance.

Find the easiest habit for you to change and do that next, and keep at it until the change feels permanent, second nature. Then add another. I read something, somewhere once in a business context that has helped me here:

If you're pointing in the right direction, and time is passing, success is inevitable.

One thing I've learned is that there's only so much you can micromanage the whole process before it drives you mad with impatience. I've tried to maximise my weight loss efficiency to the point of stupidity. You'll get there. As long as things are changing for the better, and you can make it part of your life for good, you'll get there and stay there.

Oh, and it's... 30ish weeks to December? Imagine yourself 30lbs lighter NOW! Imagine waking up like that tomorrow. How awesome does it feel? You will get to experience THAT exact feeling, before you know it! Remember things that happened in October? If you think that feels like yesterday, it's 7 months. That's all, it's not long :)

:hug:

Thank you Shiv! I really like that quote, as well!
The more of these posts I read (again -- for the 2nd time now, lol), the more I see how much I can change my mindset and focus on other goals rather than something tremendous like onderland. Slow and steady wins the race... :)

Thank you so much to everyone who posted on this thread! So many words of wisdom here. Especially, I want to thank Kaplods for these wise words. My ups and downs over the last 4 years have been more extreme than some, but I try to always remind myself that I weighed 295 pounds when I started this journey in June 2009, and there has never been a single day since when I have weighed that much, and that is a blessing in and of itself.

I am so guilty of doing the 2 lb a week math and fast forwarding in my head until that moment when I'm wearing all the small clothes hanging in my closet... but I'm trying very hard to stop thinking about that, and sometimes, maybe not often enough, I think like Kaplods, and I remind myself that this is a process with no end point.

You can do this, too! :hug:

So much amazing advice!

I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with the amount of time this process takes, and long for next spring when I can "eat normal" again. Then I remind myself that I'VE NEVER "EATEN NORMAL!" and that I'm just now beginning to learn how to eat well. I think having an end date in mind is dangerous and if you think of weight loss as having a beginning an ending, you're really risking regaining everything lost when you're "done." Just my philosophy.

Thanks Superhero teacher! My sense of urgency was coming from wanting to be smaller. I don't expect to change my eating habits much from "losing" to "maintenance"... I'm in this for life and I know that. I just wanted the perk of being small more quickly.

I really like your point about not ever having eaten normal. I don't know when I did the last time, either. And I never want to resume eating the way I used to. It's not at all what I want for myself.

Btw, that's a great username! ;)

Such good advice here. I'm on a slow losing path. Deliberately. Because it's what I can handle in my life. I'll probably reach goal at the end of 2014.

The thing is, as you go down the scale, you will feel better as you go. That is the reward as you go.

Thanks for the reminder, AnnMarie. :)

Patience is such a hard thing to learn and accept. This process of losing weight is a test of and a teacher of patience. Beloved... you are really doing so well... I see it in the threads that we are in. You are so comforting to everyone and you inspire just by being you. Its just patience. Life is just so long... but time sometimes seem so long to get to the end of your journey and get what you wish for. Remember being a kid and wanting that *put an object in here... like Bicycle* and your parents said save up 1/2 and we will pay the other half and it just seemed so long before you actually saved the 1/2 and then low and behold... you had a new bike as the time had passed, you earned or whatever the 1/2 that you needed. Back then you probably also remembered how you saved or earned that money and it made that bike even more important. YOU are that important goal. You are putting the time in yourself to reach for your best. We know we have bumps (you have heard me rant about that Stupid Cake Argh) but bumps make us learn... they happen and each time they happen we learn to deal with them alittle easier. We also learn to forgive ourselves for being human and having alittle freedom and by making mistakes. I learn so much from you and everyone else... I kinda feel like a kid again learning instead of the 55 year old battleax LOL that I am.

I am thinking a dream board might be fun for you to put together items that you want when you make goal or your goals and tape them to a poster board or mirror or something that you see everyday and make it a reminder of what you are doing this for... Just thinking.

You are something special and I believe it. You the strength and fortitude. I believe in you!

Thank you, hon!
I really like the bike analogy! Sadly, my parents never did that, but I am that important goal.. this is definitely something I need to internalize.
:hug: thank you for your support and encouragement since the start of this.

Hi Everyone! I am new to the forum and in serious need of support. I have been dieting on and off for 4 years and it seems that nothing works. I was just recently on a diet and lost 12 pounds in 12 days, I was so happy and a month later I have gained 10 pounds right back. It is very frustrating. I have a new goal now. I want to get back down to 160 pounds, I am currently 252 pounds. 4 years ago I was 275, but constantly being discouraged it seems that I have frozen in the 250s and will not lose any more. I am getting married in April of 2014, I have 344 days until my wedding. Is 95 pounds possible? :?:

:Welcome: MissGingerSnap! Feel free to join one of our "decades" threads... there's a "getting out of the 250s/260s" in this sub-forum. Also, feel free to start a new thread if you'd like. :)

It is absolutely possible. I've been just where you're at now... as recently as last summer. I've been obese for over 20 years. I have "tried" to do something about it in the past. I say "tried" because I'm not sure how hard I really tried. But this time I really committed to losing weight. I made a plan and followed it. An important part of success is finding a plan of eating that you can live with and thrive on long term. You have to be able to find ways to keep yourself satisfied so that you don't revert to your old ways of eating. In short, you have to find out what works for you, because what works for others, may not.

Wise words. You're such an inspiration, Joe. :D

I agree with all of the PPs and Mozzy's sentiment.

The time is going to pass. I also have a large amount of weight to lose, but if I think December is too far away so I might as well say screw it for now and worry about doing it closer to then, I will have wasted so much time in which I could have already created healthier habits and been closer to goal instead of putting my health at more risk, possibly gaining more weight or just not moving any closer to my goal.

We all have off days, expect that. But keep going no matter what! In December, you will be glad you didn't give up!

Thank you. You're totally right!

Thank you so much for all of the incredible words of encouragement and insight! I have been guilty of of constantly thinking - "I have to lose 150 lbs...that is going to take forever...what if I can't make it." I've been so focused on the big goal, the big number, that I'm taking for granted how well I've done so far. This thread has been a big inspiration for me!

I've never tried to lose weight before...just consistently gained it. And I've learned so much through the kind and intelligent people I've met on here. I just wanted to say that I'm so happy I've found this forum.

I'm glad. :) This place is amazin', yep. :D

This thread is exactly what I needed right now. Thanks everyone for sharing :-)

Yay! :D

Beautiful words said. I'll just add a picture that has moved me.

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/c8.0.403.403/p403x403/483776_606721936007851_1902109397_n.jpg

Aw, thank you for sharing, Kitcherella. Those are such wise words. I saved the image to my desktop.

I also focus on small goals. Looking at losing 100+ pounds is overwhelming.

I also remind myself that I have completed and excelled in large endeavors that took a long time. When I started college, I knew that it would take years but I just took it day by day, semester at a time. This is just as big a project but I can do this if I focus on what I need to do today. Do the best that I can do today and the weeks, months, and years will take care of themselves.

Thank you, time2lose. That is a fantastic analogy. I think one issue I'm having is that I'm looking at this from far too a short-sighted perspective. If I start thinking about December 2013 in light of the year of 2014, the year of 2015, and the year of 2016, December 2013 does not seem that far away at all! I really need to adopt a more future-minded perspective and way of operating. Not just with weight loss but in general. Thank you for the suggestion! And best of luck with your own goals! :D

IanG
05-11-2013, 01:37 PM
Early on, for the first 20 lbs or so, you need to use that scale for motivation, watching the numbers drop.

Then this is what happened to me.

My clothes started to get looser. I felt better. My body felt better to touch. Next motivation. And I started to look different. Less tummy, different face. More motivation.

At about 40lbs down other people started to notice. More motivation.

At 50lbs down, joined a gym. More motivation.

At about 60lbs down, started running. More motivation.

So use the small changes to keep you going and implement larger changes later to give you that extra boost.

As others have said, mini-goals are really important too.

You hit a point where there is no going back. And that seals the deal, at least for me.

Reading this, it's all about NSVs. But I still weigh every day!

I have come to the point whereby I actually enjoy losing weight. I'll miss it. We'll deal with that challenge when I get there.

AlmostMe
05-11-2013, 02:14 PM
Yep, I agree with Ian. It's all about the NSVs, but I weigh daily to keep me focused. I'm not scale obsessed. I went away for a few days and only thought about it once.

I know a lot of people break their weight loss down into 10lb chunks, but I can't do that because the math is too easy! It's easy for me to go...lose 10lb 9 times - hmmm - that's 90lbs. Instead I just focus on one or two goals at a time. Sometimes it's a specific amount (like 25lbs) or sometimes it's to get to a certain weight - like 100kg. I also never set my rate of loss at more than a lb a week...if I'm faster...awesome. I also have fitness goals which I focus on more than the weight.

IanG
05-11-2013, 02:16 PM
I'm scale obsessed. And PROUD!

Remington90
05-11-2013, 02:26 PM
In 6 months you're going to wish you started today.

Thats what I live by basically. To me it says that those 6 months (or in your case a few more, me too by the way) are going to fly by. And if you don't make a change right NOW, you're going to kick yourself. I think about ti all the time how last summer I said "by next summer I'll be fit and hot". Well I didn't do anything about it. And to think if I HAD start then, I'd be in maintenance right now. That single quote gave me the kick in the a$$ I needed.

tehshort1
05-11-2013, 02:26 PM
I've recently had a few very hard weeks. I haven't been able to break into the 160's and this morning I was near tears with frustration. Almost every person on 3FC has been there, but all the people that have replied here are so right - even if it's slow, it's better to get fitter over time than stay the same or get fatter.

One thing I've been focusing on all day is the little things that I've achieved. I just bought a pair of 12 jeans (I started WW wearing super tight 20s), I have become so much more active, I can keep up with my German Shepherd on jogs, I've lost 15% of my starting weight... The list goes on. Right now my focus is to work hard and break that barrier and get into the 160's. Without Mini-goals losing 90 pounds and meeting my goal weight seems impossible. Keep it simple, keep it small and you will get there!

IanG
05-11-2013, 02:30 PM
I have never been in the 160s!

Vex
05-11-2013, 03:21 PM
I actually am not a fan of being patient. I was one of those people that set a time/date goal. They help me with motivation.

It's OK to be impatient, to want everything now.

What doesn't work is when you don't meet a goal or allow impatience to stop you in your progress. Not meeting a time based goal does not mean failure, at least in weight loss.

SuperHeroTeacher
05-11-2013, 04:06 PM
I'm scale obsessed. And PROUD!

Ditto ^^^

I think it's okay to be scale obsessed as long as you're realistic and don't beat yourself up about it. I'm only six weeks into this process though, perhaps when I hit a plateau I'll be singing a different tune... :dancer:

IanG
05-11-2013, 04:12 PM
I don't think you'll have plateau issues Superheroteacher for a while yet.

If you do, then let's talk. Stepping it up a little normally works, either on the diet and/or the exercise.

Novus
05-11-2013, 04:19 PM
I'm not on a diet. I'm creating a new life.

So while I'm happily watching the numbers drop on the scale, what really motivates me is knowing that I'm becoming an entirely different person - in appearance, in habits, in mindset. It's a NOW thing, not something that's going to magically happen in X number of months. Today I am closer to the new me than I was yesterday.

ETA - I love this quote:

http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/550x/b7/9e/42/b79e42f289f942fbd4174fe3f5587ee5.jpg

Tziri
05-11-2013, 05:06 PM
I also agree with the other posters. I just take it day by day and the time goes by faster than you think it will. The decade threads on here are/were one of my favorite ways to stay motivated.

rachieready
05-12-2013, 12:08 AM
So much amazing advice!

I sometimes find myself overwhelmed with the amount of time this process takes, and long for next spring when I can "eat normal" again. Then I remind myself that I'VE NEVER "EATEN NORMAL!" and that I'm just now beginning to learn how to eat well. I think having an end date in mind is dangerous and if you think of weight loss as having a beginning an ending, you're really risking regaining everything lost when you're "done." Just my philosophy.


This... epiphany. Wow.
I have never thought of it in this way. "Normal" for me... the normal that I miss, that some part of me wishes to be back to... well... THAT normal is what has kept me heavy. Unless I DO change what is normal, my body will never change.

I know I'm just repeating what you said. But wow. I feel like I was just knocked over the head with a cartoon hammer and my brain is screaming, DUH.

Thank you for that.

SuperHeroTeacher
05-12-2013, 01:35 AM
This... epiphany. Wow.
I have never thought of it in this way. "Normal" for me... the normal that I miss, that some part of me wishes to be back to... well... THAT normal is what has kept me heavy. Unless I DO change what is normal, my body will never change.

I know I'm just repeating what you said. But wow. I feel like I was just knocked over the head with a cartoon hammer and my brain is screaming, DUH.

Thank you for that.

I hear you! It was a total epiphany for me too... I know that eventually I will be able to eat foods that I don't allow myself now, but I absolutely can never go back to the dysfunctional relationship with food I had before. I'm not strong enough to do this twice, so I can never go back to that way of life.

SuperHeroTeacher
05-12-2013, 04:12 AM
I don't think you'll have plateau issues Superheroteacher for a while yet.

Thanks Ian! My nutritionist said the exact same thing yesterday. :D

punkrocksong
05-14-2013, 07:14 AM
SuperHeroTeacher and rachieready - I suppose that is what I've been doing, I just didn't really think about it in those terms before. I started out just wanting to lose weight, but I've realized I've started to simply have a healthy relationship with food and I've started eating like a "normal" person, at least normal portions. I've been eating clean for the most part, and I know for a lot of people not eating processed foods is not practical or an option, but for me that was really my best option.

My progress in so far has really taught me what an unhealthy relationship I had with food. There were days where I probably ate 6-8 thousand calories in a 24 hr time span. I still freak out when having to eat at restaurants and I can't really go near sweets yet, but I've noticed that I'm happier and healthier than I've been in a long time.

It's only been 30 lbs, but I'm already not as embarrassed to be out in public or to go out to eat, and I haven't had any problems getting into restaurant booths - so for me that is a huge goal that has been met!

kakeJ
05-14-2013, 07:48 AM
I planned on losing 10 pounds at a time . Each time I lost ten pounds I started the next 10. If I had ever thought I needed to lose 90 pounds that would have seemed impossible.

that is how I saw it too. I thought 100 was lofty but the mini route of 5 and 10lbs. worked and it took 2 years but it worked for me. I am glad I did it this way.

Ubee
12-30-2013, 07:45 PM
Belovedspirit, it is December and you made it. Good job! Any insight you wish to share?

AwShucks
01-12-2014, 12:59 PM
I also wanted to point out that BelovedSpirit, you made it! You're in the 100's -- How does that feel? Think back to your original post in May. I think we've all been there, but like Mozzy said... the time will pass anyway, so you might as well be working toward a goal, and YOU DID IT!! :congrat:

scarletmeshell
01-25-2014, 04:04 PM
This is the first time that I am really thinking I will make it this time. I have a long way to go and then what? I wil still have to eat healthy food and exercise.

Mad Donnelly
01-25-2014, 04:18 PM
This is the first time that I am really thinking I will make it this time. I have a long way to go and then what? I wil still have to eat healthy food and exercise.

Me, too. I'm not on a diet BUT, I'll be honest, I'd rather be maintaining than still hoping for losses. Months are fine but years will be tough.

CharityMarie
01-25-2014, 04:24 PM
I saw a tagline in a users signature from some obsolete thread a while back that has seriously motivated the crap out of me, I apologize to whomever it was that I cant remember the users name but the quote is still fabulous!

BEING FAT IS HARD. LOSING WEIGHT IS HARD. MAINTAINING IS HARD. PICK YOUR HARD.

belovedspirit
01-29-2014, 10:53 AM
Belovedspirit, it is December and you made it. Good job! Any insight you wish to share?

Tbh, I'm still wrapping my mind around this process and the entire experience. What I've come to experience is how profoundly worth it this journey has been for me. I am still about 50 lbs from goal, but life is remarkably easier. I feel better physically, I feel better emotionally, and I appreciate the removal of barriers in my everyday life that losing weight has facilitated. I understand these aren't necessarily experiences everyone will have, but these are some of the reasons that have made the process worth it for me.

The second (equally important, imo) concept I've come to terms with is the issue of time. For some reason, we all lose on our own terms. I imagine many of us have heard stories about people who try to lose weight for 20 years without making headway and finally one day the ball gets rolling and stays rolling. I don't know if there is always a clear-cut answer for what made it work THAT time, for what made habits stick THAT time as opposed to all the others. What I do know is that there is nothing to be gained from shaming ourselves for attempts that might feel futile and disappointing. We can do our best and focus on taking care of our bodies and our health regardless of our weight. This is not a race to the finish line. This is day after day after day... Focus on making healthy choices in the various aspects of your life, on nurturing yourself in the ways that keep you feeling good emotionally, on dissolving the barriers and demons that keep you needing to binge eat or that tell you you're less than who you are and diminish your value, character, and skills. Love yourself and take care of yourself at ALL weights, and the weight will more likely than not come off in time.

And be sure to educate yourself. Consult a variety of sources for what healthy living and taking care of yourself means and looks like. If you transform the way you think about yourself on the inside, the outside will follow suit.

I also wanted to point out that BelovedSpirit, you made it! You're in the 100's -- How does that feel? Think back to your original post in May. I think we've all been there, but like Mozzy said... the time will pass anyway, so you might as well be working toward a goal, and YOU DID IT!! :congrat:

THANK YOU!!! :hug::dizzy::D:carrot:

This is the first time that I am really thinking I will make it this time. I have a long way to go and then what? I wil still have to eat healthy food and exercise.

Indeed. :)

Me, too. I'm not on a diet BUT, I'll be honest, I'd rather be maintaining than still hoping for losses. Months are fine but years will be tough.

Good luck!

I saw a tagline in a users signature from some obsolete thread a while back that has seriously motivated the crap out of me, I apologize to whomever it was that I cant remember the users name but the quote is still fabulous!

BEING FAT IS HARD. LOSING WEIGHT IS HARD. MAINTAINING IS HARD. PICK YOUR HARD.

That's a great line. :)

Slashnl
01-29-2014, 12:34 PM
Well done! And well said! Nice to relive a great thread!