40-Somethings - Here I am...at the start.

View Full Version : Here I am...at the start.

05-10-2013, 01:28 AM
I am 40 and I weigh 250 pounds. It's nuts to hear myself say that. I remember 180 and thinking "whoa...do something before it gets out of control" It's out of control, I'm out of control. I have never been taught healthy food habits. My mother was obese...though she has lost a lot of weight. No blame, she was a great mother, but couldn't teach us what she was never taught.
I feel like I am sometimes obsessed with food. Like if I go grocery shopping and buy something particularly yummy to me and that's all I think about until I eat it, or eat it even if I am not hungry, or eat ALL of it when it several portions (like if I don't eat it now it wont be there for me later). It's very embarrassing for me to admit this.
I don't care about my appearance because I have no clothes that fit and don't have the money to buy myself clothes that fit right except for a piece here or there. I think it also stems from the fact that I stay at home and take care of my 4 yr old son (he has some mild special needs issues).
I just stopped caring about myself and I want to start again. I don't want to be disgusted with myself anymore. I want to look how I used to...but I have such a loooong way to go. Oh well, that's me in a nutshell. A kind of rant and not very organized by they are my thoughts as they came to me and I wanted to put them down before I chickened out. I hope to get to know many of you and lean on you for support and get to the point where I feel I have something to offer back to someone in the near future. I guess I will spend some time browsing and try to formulate a plan, figure out how to start become a healthier, happier me. Good night all. :D

05-10-2013, 10:05 AM
Hi, IrishOnyx!! You've taken the first steps, which are to analyze your problems, identify your trouble spots, and commit to the need for change. Welcome!

There are lots of people on this site who have been exactly where you are and had incredible success! And there are lots of people on this site who are exactly where you are right now, just starting out. And of course, everywhere in between. Browse around, figure out what kind of "plan" you want to follow, and go for it!

I put "plan" in quotes because you really don't need to do anything formal if you don't want to. I've lost my weight by just practicing the mantra of healthy food, portion control, exercise. Although in your case, if you haven't had a lot of experience / education in healthy foods and proper portion size, I bet counting calories or some other type of more guided program would be really beneficial for you.

Best of luck to you; you can do this! You've already taken the first steps.

05-10-2013, 10:11 AM
hi and welcome!!
I know the helpless feeling of obesity...being so uncomfortable. In january, I was 283 lbs, and I thought there is no way I have the willpower to do this. but, all i did was limit my calorie intake and taa daaa....IT WORKED... I am now 247 and steadily going down...such an amazing feeling!! I hope you find the power within yourself to find health and happiness. if I could recommend anything to you, it would be to download my fitness pal on your smart phone or visit www.myfitnesspal.com. good luck!!!

05-10-2013, 12:01 PM
Just want to add my welcome to the group! Bravo for starting on this journey! In a way, I always feel like, "Here I am...at the start," because every day is a challenge. Every day is also a new chance to get healthier than you were the day before.

You will find this to be a great place for encouragement and inspiration. The ladies here are awesome!

Good luck!

05-10-2013, 12:41 PM
Welcome! You are i the right place for support. We are all on the same journey and the support and advice help immensely.

05-10-2013, 04:58 PM
Thank you all so much. I quite literally got a little watery eyed at the warm welcome. :)

05-10-2013, 06:06 PM
Irishonyx you are so welcome here.....we help a eachother here whether we are 140 or 240...none judges and we are all in this boat together....

05-10-2013, 07:13 PM
Welcome :welcome3:

05-10-2013, 08:02 PM
Welcome to 3fc irishonyx! Youre gonna love it here! 1 day at a time and 1baby step after another and before you know it your journey will get easier and better! Remember... when you fall off dont give up just dust yourself off and jump right back on! Its not about perfection its about persistance!

05-10-2013, 08:24 PM
Welcome! You've come to a great place for support, advice, and friendship. I wish you success on your weight loss journey. Believe in yourself, set small goals, have determination, and keep on going- you CAN do this!!

05-10-2013, 11:23 PM
Welcome and great job on taking the first steps. There are a lot of people here who've been in your shoes. It comes down to you taking the steps no matter how small each day. Losing weight is new for me and here are some of the things I've learned:
1. If you cheat, down trash the entire day.
2. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels
3. Be patient with yourself. The weight did not come on over night so it
will take time to come off.
4. Pick a day (mine is Saturday) to not worry as much about eating. I
have found I still make better choice than before.
5. Take measurements because sometimes when the scale doesn't
move the inches are still coming down.
6. Add 64 oz. of water each day and start steaming veggies each night.

Good luck and hang in there,

Moving Forward
05-10-2013, 11:30 PM
Welcome! You will be successful if you take your journey one day at a time, one step at a time. If you get lost or need a road map, stick with us and we will help guide and support you. I'm so glad you found us!

05-10-2013, 11:36 PM

Your story stuck a chord with me - I have been almost exactly where you are - I'm 5'9" and my high weight was 258. I also had the same issues/relationship with food. Icecream, for example. I would fixate on it...knowing it was in the freezer...almost taunting me to eat it. Then I would have a little. I would tell myself just a bite. Then just a small bowl. I would sit down to watch tv but the icecream would be so much on my mind(can you say obsessed?) that I couldn't pay attention to the movie! Then I'd 'give in' and go eat it. All of it so I wouldn't have to think about it any more. Then: enter The Guilt...you know the pattern! I felt like I was weak and helpless and food controlled me instead of the other way around.
I haven't left all those issues behind but I'm making great progress! It's still a dialogue I have with myself (just less and less often these days!).

Just know you aren't alone in this - we've all been there (or somewhere nearby) and back! And we are all here for you - through triumphs and trials!

05-11-2013, 11:21 AM
I am soon to be 49 years old and weigh 185 lbs. I am 5 ' 4" tall and cannot believe i have reached this weight! I have never had a problem with my weight until the last several years. Also i had surgery 2 months ago and gained 15 lbs during my recovery. I have no clothes that fit well and can't bring myself to shop for new clothing, as it is too depressing. I find it is difficult to enjoy intimacy with my husband, as i am so self conscious about my weight. I begin IP Monday and i am so excited! I am happy i found this site and everything i have read gives me great hope i will be successful. I am worried that i will have a hard time following the diet with my work schedule, as i travel quite a lot. I will give it 100% effort though.

Moving Forward
05-12-2013, 11:56 PM
Dak1lls--Your stats are pretty similar to my starting stats. You can do this!

05-13-2013, 10:09 PM
Well, day one is about over! I was amazed at how hard it is to eat so many veggies! I went shopping to get more variety. I will definitely need to come up with some new recipes. I am so happy to have started. Thank you Moving Forwar
d for the encouragement. It helps to know others have done it.

05-13-2013, 10:36 PM
IrishOnyx-I'm with Guac always at the start...
You've come to a wonderful, healing place. You sound like you're off to a good start. None of us are perfect, so know if you have a little slip up,you're not the first and someone will be here to help you through it!

Best to you :sunny:

05-13-2013, 10:41 PM
Dak-I predict you will come to love veggies, as I have. The more you eat them the better they are. try roasting, we sometimes cook the steamer veggies, then roast in the oven a little bit with some spices, awesome.
Also, I try not to worry too much about dressings, if they're helping me eat veg instead of something else, it's good in my book.

05-14-2013, 10:11 PM
Thanks kelijpa for the ideas about roasting my veggies and using dressings. I made chicken soup for dinner and added all the veggies i would need. It was so good, but man-o-man am i full. I was impressed with myself since i got to count water in my soup as part of my daily intake.

A friend suggested scrambled eggs with turkey and maybe veggies. So, i will try that tomorrow. I find i don't like the IP food but i can handle the drinks pretty well so i am doing those and the snacks.

I am curious if anyone else has had problems with (i want to put this delicately) loose stools? I can't stray far from the bathroom. It's terrible! Any suggestions?

Moving Forward
05-14-2013, 11:38 PM
Dak--You're welcome! I agree with Kelijpa that you will take on a whole new appreciation for veggies. I'm eating so many more fruits and veggies now. They have been my low calorie life savers that have allowed me to feel full while eating low cal. I'm not doing IP, nor have I had the same problem you are having. I'm sure that your body will adjust. You might want to post that question on the IP board to get more responses though.

05-15-2013, 11:08 PM
Well....day 3 and i am down 5 lbs! I can't even believe it. I cannot believe how such a small amount has affected my attitude!

I have been able to drink all the required water. That was a concern, since i don't like water. I have cotton mouth today and my mouth tastes icky so i think i am in ketosis?! Yay!

I made scrambled eggs with turkey, mushrooms, and spinach for dinner and it was delicious! I never thought i could eat an omelet or eggs without cheese but it was sooooo good! Finally something yummy. I need to try stuffed peppers next. I might just be able to do this!

This site is so awesome. Everyone is so supportive. I have never told anyone what i weigh. It is just so embarrassing that i have gotten to this weight, as no one in my family has ever been overweight. I only told my husband Monday when i started so he could understand my goal. He loves me no matter what, but i really want to feel attractive again.

Can't wait to lose the weight.

06-01-2013, 12:39 PM
Congratulations to you on taking this first step towards a more healthier you!