Weight Loss Support - Wow, you lost a TON!




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elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:05 PM
"Wow, you lost a TON!"

Said the neighbor up the street that I never talked to before...

I thought I would die from embarrassment. Thank God the dog and the husband were with me! My husband knows this guy from "man talk" with the guys in the neighborhood but I didn't!

My husband reached and squeezed my hand after that comment came with some small talk we were having with him on our walk.

During the walk home, my husband said this guy is very direct in all his conversations and not to be offended. So after he said that, I smiled and agreed. I *have* lost a ton!

I hope it might have something to do with the fact that I had on nice clothes too and not my standard workout gear!


newleaf123
05-03-2013, 08:07 PM
My sister said that to me after I had lost about 25 pounds. I found it very embarrassing, especially since when I demurred, she kept insisting. But whatever... What she must think now!

joefla70
05-03-2013, 08:09 PM
lol. I get a lot of those kind of comments, but usually more tactful! Normally the word "ton" doesn't get thrown out! I'm guessing it was that word that made you feel embarrassed, right? I wouldn't imagine you'd be embarrassed if he had chosen his words more carefully, would you?


wannaskipandlaugh
05-03-2013, 08:11 PM
Oh that was sweet of your hubby and how cool (unless there were alot of other people around) of a non-friend man to say that outloud. I kinda take it as a compliment. He coulda wolf whistled you when you were alone LOL. (I know that you are a private person but I hope the inside person is beaming!!) and I love that your husband held your hand :)

elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:13 PM
I haven't seen my sister, newleaf, since I lost about 40lbs. She might include a couple of colorful words when she sees me now LOL!

And Joe, yes, the filter of not saying "ton" would have been nice!! I told my husband that the neighbor's wife must have been thin her whole life as no husband would ever say "ton" to a woman!! (I missed you posting these last few weeks, I saw you on the jeans thread and commented to you. Glad to see you back!!)

elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:16 PM
Oh that was sweet of your hubby and how cool (unless there were alot of other people around) of a non-friend man to say that outloud. I kinda take it as a compliment. He coulda wolf whistled you when you were alone LOL. (I know that you are a private person but I hope the inside person is beaming!!) and I love that your husband held your hand :)

Very true, Sue! I think I was more shocked that he noticed and called me out on it!! I do walk our street day and night so maybe he waited for me to be with my husband or....maybe he didn't realize I was the same woman!!

My husband is the best, we have our secret signals to each other after all this time (squeezing each other's hand 3x means "I love you", yep we are goofy!) and he can read me like no one else. He must have seen the panicky embarrassment run over my face!

Arctic Mama
05-03-2013, 08:21 PM
I always just assume someone is complimenting me, however clumsily :). Your husband made a good call!

wannaskipandlaugh
05-03-2013, 08:23 PM
Oh.... I love to hear of a love/best friend/partner life like you have. You make me happy(for you) and hopefull just reading that. (and JoeFla is right... Ton is not a good word.. but your neighbor just must have realized who you were and that word jumped outta his mouth and we know how "some" men are :) )

elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:27 PM
I always just assume someone is complimenting me, however clumsily :). Your husband made a good call!

Exactly Arctic Mama!! I could tell this guy was so happy for me and it was definitely a compliment. I just hated that he knew I was big before but I know I was and there is nothing I can do about it! And I know my husband is proud of me too!

Oh.... I love to hear of a love/best friend/partner life like you have. You make me happy(for you) and hopefull just reading that. (and JoeFla is right... Ton is not a good word.. but your neighbor just must have realized who you were and that word jumped outta his mouth and we know how "some" men are :) )

Awww, Sue, my husband really is the best. We have been through so much (not me and him having issues, just things in our life on both sides of the family) and I thank my lucky stars for him every day. And you are right, it was just a man thing to say! He was genuinely happy for me, I could tell that much!

Lecomtes
05-03-2013, 08:30 PM
I'm glad your hubby helped you to see the man may not have meant to be so obnoxious. I would have been embarrassed too probably. I guess some people are just trying to be kind and aren't sensitive to others experiences. I am starting to understand that a little better.
My dad saw me for the first time since losing some weight the other day and he said, "I've never seen you so thin." I thought...hmm, that's strange since you've known me since I weighed 8lbs and I can hardly be classified at thin at well over 200 lbs. BUT, I'm learning to accept my father's comments. He was trying to be complementary and I'll take what I can get since he's been extremely critical in the past. My fiance helped me see the lighter side of that situation. Some men are true blessings, I'm so glad your hubby was beautifully supportive!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a motivator! :)

elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:40 PM
I'm glad your hubby helped you to see the man may not have meant to be so obnoxious. I would have been embarrassed too probably. I guess some people are just trying to be kind and aren't sensitive to others experiences. I am starting to understand that a little better.
My dad saw me for the first time since losing some weight the other day and he said, "I've never seen you so thin." I thought...hmm, that's strange since you've known me since I weighed 8lbs and I can hardly be classified at thin at well over 200 lbs. BUT, I'm learning to accept my father's comments. He was trying to be complementary and I'll take what I can get since he's been extremely critical in the past. My fiance helped me see the lighter side of that situation. Some men are true blessings, I'm so glad your hubby was beautifully supportive!
I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are a motivator! :)

Awww, you are too sweet Lecomtes!! But you are so right, we have to see the blessings in the compliments. I think I was more shocked that he was so boisterous in his comments but with a big smile and totally complimentary!! I was taken aback I think. And I haven't perfected the "thank you" part of the compliments yet that I should be doing, I always make excuses or reasons for my weightloss. This time I was so shocked I kept silent! I'm glad your fiancÚ seems like my husband, totally down to earth and doesn't read into things. I wish I was more like that, my husband never sees the negative possibility things like I do. And I have a feeling my neighbor must be the same way, he probably didn't realize the "ton" comment could be taken any other way than "a lot". At least that's what I'm going with at this point!

Thedollylala
05-03-2013, 08:40 PM
My fave is when they shout it across the room with several others in there.

joefla70
05-03-2013, 08:41 PM
I haven't seen my sister, newleaf, since I lost about 40lbs. She might include a couple of colorful words when she sees me now LOL!

And Joe, yes, the filter of not saying "ton" would have been nice!! I told my husband that the neighbor's wife must have been thin her whole life as no husband would ever say "ton" to a woman!! (I missed you posting these last few weeks, I saw you on the jeans thread and commented to you. Glad to see you back!!)

Thanks Elvis. :) I always enjoy reading your posts too.

elvislover324
05-03-2013, 08:44 PM
My fave is when they shout it across the room with several others in there.

OMG thedollylala, there isn't enough hand-holding my husband could do in that situation. I'd crawl under a rock and hide...I don't like attention anyways but that would stress me to the max!

ReillyJ
05-03-2013, 08:47 PM
My fave is when they shout it across the room with several others in there.

haha this! ^

My friend works at Boeing Everett WA plant and they're notorious for lay offs. After an extended lay off, they called people back. My friend (she's statuesque and beautiful and was probably about 30 lbs overweight) was in a PACKED elevator and when it dinged open, standing right in front of her on the opposite side of the door (along with a lot of other people) was an older asian gentleman she used to work with.
He took one look at her and in his asian accent said "Mrs. Benson! You have gotten FAT!"
talk about wanting to d i e !!

wannaskipandlaugh
05-03-2013, 08:50 PM
ReillyJ (Susie)..... OH MY GOD....

Lecomtes
05-03-2013, 08:57 PM
"totally down to earth and doesn't read into things."
He is like that, I wish EVERY DAY that I were more like that. Haha! Work in progress over here. :)

IanG
05-04-2013, 01:05 AM
You have not lost a ton Elvis. You've lost one-sixteenth of a ton.

Anyway, well dealt with. I get comments like that a lot now. The last time someone asked me if I had had surgery. Not that that would be a problem if I had of course, but way too personal especially as this was asked at work in front of other colleagues.

joefla70
05-04-2013, 07:35 AM
You have not lost a ton Elvis. You've lost one-sixteenth of a ton.

Anyway, well dealt with. I get comments like that a lot now. The last time someone asked me if I had had surgery. Not that that would be a problem if I had of course, but way too personal especially as this was asked at work in front of other colleagues.

LOL. Reminds me of the "what have you lost" thread. I can't tell you how excited I was to be able to contribute to that thread that I had lost the equivalent of a baby giraffe! :) (Ok, maybe "excited" isn't the word I was looking for. But it was cooler than some of the other milestones, such as cinder block, etc.). Anyway, I believe Elvis can say the same too!

Mission Fat to Fab
05-04-2013, 07:58 AM
Aww hun I would accept that as a compliment and be really proud of myself if I were you. And your husband sounds like he's so supportive of you on your weight loss journey.

I'm indian and we're not really known for being subtle in my community. I went to the temple the other night and I was wearing my work clothes and my friend's mother-in-law was demanding to know how much I've lost because it looked like my clothes were hanging off me. I mean how rude! but my mum was like "She's lost more than 15 kilos"... by the next day word had spread among my community. Now I just smile and say "Thank you" and change the subject when someone asks.

JenMusic
05-04-2013, 08:03 AM
Hilarious! I think you have a great attitude about this - a sense of humor can take us far.

I teach English as a Second Language here in the States. My students are all adults, but language barriers and cultural differences sometimes add up to awkward moments. When I was losing weight and people started noticing, my students made some great comments. My favorite? One day at the beginning of class, when everything was in total silence, a student looked at me and said, "Teacher, you have lost your weight. Before, you were fat. You look better now." The words were blunt and at the time stung a little, but after reflection I accepted it as the compliment it was intended to be. :)

Wannabehealthy
05-04-2013, 08:19 AM
My 82 year old cousin yelled "Boy, did you get fat!" across a crowded restaurant! I just laughed and said "Now the whole restaurant knows" and the people around me laughed. I did not want to show my embarassment to everyone so I joked about it. You would think that would make me start a new diet right away, but no, I am still fat. LOL

My mother was very big. She was only about 5'1 and probably was wider than she was tall. After having a heart attack the doctor told her to walk every day and put her on a diet. She followed it faithfully and lost about 100 lbs. One day she was outside sweeping her front walk and an old man from across the street came over and said "What happened to the fat lady who used to live here?' She said, "That was me....I lost weight." He said "Oh, no, she was really fat. Did she move?" My mother replied "I have lived here for 20 years." Sometimes the elderly have a way of just blurting things out. LOL

Wannabehealthy
05-04-2013, 08:25 AM
Anyway, well dealt with. I get comments like that a lot now. The last time someone asked me if I had had surgery. Not that that would be a problem if I had of course, but way too personal especially as this was asked at work in front of other colleagues.

With bariatric surgery being so common nowdays, many people just assume if you lost a lot of weight you must have had surgery. It's very rude to ask. What are people thinking? Some people may need that surgery as a tool toward their weight loss but it's not a walk in the park. It is possible to lose a lot of weight through diligence and hard work.

Wannabehealthy
05-04-2013, 08:26 AM
I think it would be much better to say "You look very nice, today." and let the person choose to tell you that they lost weight or just say "Thank You." Everyone likes to get a compliment, but it depends on the way it's done.

CherryPie99
05-04-2013, 09:06 AM
I've gotta that comment a lot and I've taken to saying "Well, not quite a TON - I wasn't THAT fat!"

LOL

elvislover324
05-04-2013, 09:10 AM
Thanks so much for the replies, everyone!

I have to go find a baby giraffe stuffed animal that I can put on a leash and walk around the neighborhood with my dog! The next time someone says I lost a ton, I'll just straight-faced say "No, just a baby giraffe!" :D

The more I thought about this man and all the replies here, the more excited I got that he noticed and was kind enough (in his own way) to mention it and give me credit for my hard work. There are people in my life that haven't acknowledged my weight loss (and it's ok with me, I'd prefer not to talk about it) but seriously, it's definitely noticeable now. :)

In the past I have received some blunt comments about my weight but I always held the tears back as they were from people who are from a different culture like some of you mentioned above. And I know they were just being honest (but ow, that hurts!).

Thank you all for sharing your comments and stories. I'm feeling much better today about my 1/16th of a ton weight loss!

Mozzy
05-04-2013, 12:22 PM
Some people are very direct, it was probably meant as a compliment

IanG
05-04-2013, 01:36 PM
Sometimes I find it is the people closest to you that don't comment on your weight loss. Weird.

ReillyJ
05-04-2013, 01:40 PM
Sometimes I find it is the people closest to you that don't comment on your weight loss. Weird.

Yes!!!

like my best friend. She hasn't said anything really positive or negative, well she did reassure me that i look good when i lamented over rubber face, looking so different etc but over all not really any words (which can actually be GOOD) and i don't think it's from jealousy, either, in her case.

dcapulet
05-04-2013, 01:41 PM
I saw my father last week for the first time in 8 months. He said, "you look a lot better than you used to."

belovedspirit
05-04-2013, 03:46 PM
Hmm...I guess we're imperfect in various ways. Sometimes people just don't know how to employ tact! :lol:

Elvis, congratulations on losing 1/16th of a ton or a baby giraffe. ;) (so cute!) You have so much to be proud of, and I hope you can celebrate in a way that makes you feel wonderful. :D

Ronja
05-04-2013, 03:54 PM
I got a good chuckle out of this and I hope you did too. I mean, obviously it was rude, but also kind of harmless...I can just imagine the type of guy he is, he really thought he was playing you a compliment - never realizing he's hinting you did weight more than a ton to start with :D

Speaking about weird compliments, here is one I got from my father when I lost around 40 pounds couple of years back...he saw me sitting at a table with my husband, he turned to him and said: "you know, I've always thought you had a bad taste in women, because you married her. Now I see it's not the case, she actually looks good!".

And he thought I would be flattered. True story!

thinkfit
05-04-2013, 04:49 PM
Some people are so tactless! I know they mean well, but man that would have made me uncomfortable. It's so hard to accept compliments when there's that little voice in the back of your head trying to twist it into something negative! A baby giraffe - what a fun way to look at it! Congrats haha

Ronja - OMG that's awful!! I'm sorry you even had to deal with that, how ridiculous. Some people are just straight up rude, there's no excuse for that.

Garnet2727
05-04-2013, 04:49 PM
I know that intent is not magic but I really do try to take it into consideration. Just today when I was out on my walk, one of my neighbors down the street who hasn't seen me all winter let out a loud, "HOLY S***! Where's the other half of you?" The look on his face and his big grin made it obvious that he was paying me a compliment. I burst out laughing, he was so funny! He actually made me feel good.

thinkfit
05-04-2013, 04:55 PM
I know that intent is not magic but I really do try to take it into consideration. Just today when I was out on my walk, one of my neighbors down the street who hasn't seen me all winter let out a loud, "HOLY S***! Where's the other half of you?" The look on his face and his big grin made it obvious that he was paying me a compliment. I burst out laughing, he was so funny! He actually made me feel good.

I sure hope by the time I get to the point where people start noticing that I can handle it with a sense of humor! Job well done, congrats on the loss so far :)

meltitaway
05-04-2013, 10:45 PM
My neighbor showed me with ARM gestures how large she perceived me as being prior to weight loss. Oh yes! Neighbors can be interesting characters, but on the other hand...maybe it is their only way of complimenting! Cheers to you for "Losing A TON!!" Awesome!!

ReillyJ
05-04-2013, 10:59 PM
My neighbor showed me with ARM gestures how large she perceived me as being prior to weight loss. Oh yes! Neighbors can be interesting characters, but on the other hand...maybe it is their only way of complimenting! Cheers to you for "Losing A TON!!" Awesome!!

haha, that's so funny. Yes i don't think the majority of them can even comprehend how comments affect us and they probably don't really mean any harm.

shcirerf
05-05-2013, 12:51 AM
While it might have been said, sloppily, the good intention and praise was there!:carrot:

I do so get, how some days, it's tough to take/here a compliment, no matter how well meant.

I've tried very hard, and am getting better at saying thank you, and realizing, it was a compliment, take it in the spirit it is intended, and not in the delivery.

Cali Doll
05-05-2013, 08:43 AM
Speaking about weird compliments, here is one I got from my father when I lost around 40 pounds couple of years back...he saw me sitting at a table with my husband, he turned to him and said: "you know, I've always thought you had a bad taste in women, because you married her. Now I see it's not the case, she actually looks good!".

And he thought I would be flattered. True story!

Goodness! I'm sorry you had to deal with that Ronja. Once I had a conversation with my father about how I'd lost about 60 pounds. He said, "60 pounds!! You must have been really big!"

I swear I chuckle every time I think of this. He didn't mean harm, but it's just so very much NOT something you should ever say.

Yes Dad, I was terribly huge. Thank you.