Pregnant - Nursing - Pregnancy Weight Gain after losing weight- Need support from those who understand




GypsyQueen
05-02-2013, 05:58 PM
I lost 140 lbs. which took around a year and a half to do. I did it 100% naturally, eating healthy low calorie foods. I maintained my weight for a year, losing a few additional pounds here and there.

Last Summer I gained around 5 lbs. from just being a little more lenient then I had been. I didn't go off track, I didn't revert to eating unhealthy, I didn't start eating the foods that I cut out completely, etc. Then Summer through January continuing to be a little more lenient, I gained another 5 to 10 lbs. I tried to lose but couldn't seem to lose the 10-15 lbs I'd put on. I'd lose but no matter what couldn't lose the last 5 lbs. and would put on weight in the process. I swore I'd never gain, but I couldn't help it. I was enjoying life with my boyfriend, and as long as I was cautious of my weight gain I wasn't devastated about it.

In February 2013 I found out that I was pregnant with my second child (at that time I was still 11-18 lbs. heavier than I was maintaining my weight). In 2005 when got pregnant with my son I was 240 lbs. but wasn't concerned with my weight at all. I ate whatever I wanted, used the excuse to eat, be lazy, etc. and when I had him I was 260 lbs. It wasn't until 2011 at 277 lbs. that I decided to take charge and lose weight.

At my first visit prenatal doctor visit in March, I asked if I could lose these extra few pounds since the way I lose is natural, and healthy. My midwife said no she would rather me not to continue to losing weight, but that I could maintain my weight. So I did for the first 2 months. She also said that she only wanted to see me gain 10 to 20 lbs. during the pregnancy. I was fine with that. At that visit, all of the nurses and doctors came to talk to me about my weight loss while my blood was being drawn for the initial tests. They've been so proud about my weight loss, and intrigued at the fact that I could do this myself. One of the doctors said that my BMI was perfect, and that I didn't need to change the way I ate healthy. I explained the things that I don't eat, and made sure that the baby would get the proper nutrients it needed. She assured me it would, and said that people gain excess pregnancy weight because they give into cravings, and use the excuse they're eating for two. I told her I refused to give in to unhealthy cravings, or gain more than what's healthy. I must admit in the beginning it was extremely hard. I was hungry all the time, yet sick 24/7 and no food was appealing. Then after the morning [all day everyday] sickness was better, it was even harder to say no. All I wanted to do was eat, but I didn't. Its so difficult, and a bit upsetting now and then knowing I'm pregnant and cant eat what I really wanted. I tried here and there allowing a few extra things like 1 serving of ice cream at night since I'm pregnant and deserve it, but I couldn't or I'd gain 2-3 lbs. in one day. I gain very easily! Like, seriously abnormally easily!

For the first 2 months I maintained my weight, and then gained only 2 lbs. Even when I hadn't gained yet, all my weight started to shift and I appeared to have gained much more. I suddenly was thicker in my legs, arms, butt and stomach. I was so sad because nothing fit, and I felt like I looked horrible after feeling so good since my weight loss. I was only upset because it wasn't a baby belly yet, but everything else! I had this perfect vision of having this cute belly, and being "all baby" now that I was over 100 lighter than last time. I'm not an emotional person, but I even cried when trying to find something to wear. It became a nightmare, nothing fit right. I felt like I was 277 lbs. again and unable to wear what I wanted to wear. I didn't even feel that way at my heaviest, I was used to being heavy all my life so it was normal to me. Now however, I wasn't used to this and it was very upsetting. I was, and still am in the awkward stage of mostly looking chubby, not pregnant. That's what really gets to me....just bring on the baby belly and I'll feel on top of the world!

Now going into the second trimester at 13 through 14 weeks I gained another 4 or 5 lbs. So I've gained 5-7 lbs. total and I'm 14 weeks right now. I haven't changed the way I eat, I don't eat unhealthy foods, but gain no matter what. Its also appearing to be a lot more than just 5 to 7 lbs. still and nothing fits right even at this stage. I walked at the Zoo all day yesterday, ate very healthy meals, yet still gained 1 pound since yesterday morning! The thing that does still make me feel good is how healthy I eat, the food preparation, the fact that I know exactly what I'm putting into my body, and to know how good of a job I'm doing staying on track. Another thing I'm excited about is that it's finally warming up here and I have a lot of Spring, Summer and Fall activities ahead of me that involve walking, and being active!

I feel horrible that I've been so weight cautious this pregnancy, and that my fiance has had to hear about my weight gain the past 3 months. This is his first child, first pregnancy that he has ever witnessed, and he should see me happily eating what I crave not upset about the way I look now. I've hid being upset from him most of the time, but now and then I cant help but vent about the way I feel. I didn't watch my weight during my first pregnancy, ate anything and everything I wanted until beyond stuffed, I didn't exercise, was so happy to wear maternity clothes because I was already big, could really care less about weight loss after the pregnancy....and yet was SO incredibly happy being pregnant, absolutely loved being pregnant, cherished and adored every minute of my growing body, and had not a care in the world. Even with eating the way I did, somehow I only gained a total of 20 lbs. that pregnancy.

I'm sorry this is so long, I just am trying to get it out to someone, anyone, who might understand what I'm going through because NO one understands! I'm hoping if someone understands I wont have to feel so bad, and wont need to try to get my feelings out to those who simply don't understand how I feel. All I hear is, "just enjoy being pregnant, eat what you want. You lost the weight once, you can do it again! Pig out, use the excuse while you can. The baby needs the food, so eat, eat, eat! You look fine, who cares if you gain weight! Eat what you cant normally eat while you can, enjoy it, and worry about weight after you have the baby. You're supposed to get fat while pregnant, who cares." I've tried to explain healthy weight gain, and excessive weight gain during pregnancy....but the advice to just get fat still remains. I don't want sympathy, I just need support! I don't want to continue to be told by them that I'm horrible for feeling this way, looked down at for "not enjoying" the pregnancy when that isn't the case at all, constantly having them roll their eyes at me if I mention how I feel or my unexplained weight gain, telling me to not watch my weight, and being criticized for not ordering butter, pasta, fried shrimp, and pizza. My fiancÚ doesn't do this, he doesn't really know what to say or do when I talk about it. He just tells me that I'm beautiful, he wishes I believed him when he says that, and he wishes he could do something to help me feel better. He's my miracle.

Will you please share your stories of what to expect, what your experience is or was during pregnancy after weight loss, how much you gained, etc. I just need to hear from others who understand.


virginiamom
05-02-2013, 06:16 PM
I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with my third baby (suprise!!). I'm dreading gaining weight when I'd finally gotten on a roll with losing. It has really preoccupied my thoughts in the last two days...that I will get fatter and fatter and go back to square one. I also dread seeing the doctor since I know they'll comment on my obesity and give a hard limit for weight gain. Pfft, as if I WANT to gain weight. Hang in there and do the best you can. I'd advise you to just continue to eat mindfully and worry as little as you can. :)

GypsyQueen
05-02-2013, 06:51 PM
I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant with my third baby (suprise!!). I'm dreading gaining weight when I'd finally gotten on a roll with losing. It has really preoccupied my thoughts in the last two days...that I will get fatter and fatter and go back to square one. I also dread seeing the doctor since I know they'll comment on my obesity and give a hard limit for weight gain. Pfft, as if I WANT to gain weight. Hang in there and do the best you can. I'd advise you to just continue to eat mindfully and worry as little as you can. :)

Congratulations! Mine was a surprise too!

With my Son, like I said above I was 240 lbs. at the time that I got pregnant. My Doctors and Midwife were amazing and never mentioned my obisity. They never gave me a limit to gain, never scolded or talked to me about the warnings or risks of being that weight while pregnant, and never made me feel uncomfortable about it. Like I said I was perfectly fine with my weight. It made me feel better as well that instead of the word fat they referred to it as extra "fluff" which always made me thankful that they were mindful, and considerate during the pregnancy. The only time anyone had mentioned my weight the entire 9 months was when I gained more then my midwife would have liked me to gain in one week. Of course this had to happen during the ONE time that my Sons father happened to be in the room for the appointment. I was so sensitive about the subject of my weight, and this was embarrassing. I lost 8 lbs. in a single week sometime during the last few months of pregnancy due to stress, and that was the only time they were concerned with anything to do with my weight. I really hope your Doctor doesn't make a big deal about your weight. Especially since you're not anywhere near as heavy as I was!


loriehohlf
05-03-2013, 11:10 AM
Pregnancy weight gain, in my opinion, is so hard. This is my 5th baby (24 weeks!). My first 3 pregnancies I was obese. I ate whatever I wanted and only gained like 20 pounds and lost it all by the time I was 6 weeks pp. After baby #3 I decided I needed to make a change, so I joined Weight Watchers and lost 110 lbs. It did take me almost 2 years, but I did it! Four months after I reached my goal weight, I found out baby #4 was on the way. I had good intentions, but my weight skyrocketed. I gained about 65 lbs. It was very depressing. But I worked hard and lost it all by the time baby was a year old. Then....just five months later I find out #5 is on the way. I was determined this time to not gain so much, but here I am at 24 weeks and have already gained nearly 30 lbs. I think my weight is better this time, but not what I want it to be. I feel so out of control and defeated. I know what I need to eat better, but I just can't seem to pull myself out of this ditch!

I love to walk for exercise, but because of a prior surgery I had (hernia repair) walking too much or just being on my feet for like 10 min. gives me a lot of pain in my belly where the patch is (this only happens when I am pregnant and there is nothing they can do for it). I still try to walk when I can (will winter ever end???) though.

Anyway, lots of rambling, but I totally get where you are coming from. I try not to worry about it, but it's all I can think about most days. Really puts a damper on what should be such a happy time. August can't come soon enough.

GlamourGirl827
05-13-2013, 07:30 PM
I just wanted to say I'm glad you posted this. I hve been really struggling with being depressed over my weight gain and feeling guilty for being down about it....I feel like I should be so happy and grateful to be pregnant (I had 2 miscarriages last year) that I in no way should be thinking about my weight.

I was about 25 lbs over weight when I got pregnant with my first and gained about 80 lbs! And lost it all.

Then got pregnant with #2, and gained about 60 lbs...and lost it PLUS the extra 25 lbs I've carried around since high school! I felt amazing and swore I'd never ever regain, and if I got preg, I would only gain like 25 pounds.

After my first miscarriage last year, I fell back into my old comfort eating habits, and then after the second I only got worse, and I gained about 30 over the course of the year. WHen I got pregnant with this baby, I was already starting out much heavier than I would have liked.

I'm going to change my ticker, but I'm about 210 now. Not a day goes by that I'm not upset about it. I try to eat healthy, but to be honest, when I'm pregnant, I feel like bottomless pit. Also, as I get further along and bigger, my sciatica flares up, my hips hurt and I really don't feel like exercising. This is exactly what my other pregnancies were like.

It depresses me to think I will have to start all over again to lose the weight. I felt amazing when the weight was gone, and now I'm back to feeling like a slug. I know after the baby, I will ahve that period of time where I'm too fat to enjoy my days, that it will be hard to climb the stairs and get on the floor to play with my kids. I dread it.

This is our last baby, so I keep telling my self that this will be the last time I have to do this, but it doesn't stop me from feel depressed now.

I have about 3 months left and I know that I will likely see 240 again, and I swore I would never ever EVER be there again...and yet that's where I'm heading.

Sorry I could give you some uplifting advice! lol, just wanted you to know you are not alone.

jessicado22
05-18-2013, 02:30 AM
I gained 90 pounds with my first daughter. Afterwards I was the heaviest I had been in my life. I got my rear in gear and lost over 100. When I became pregnant last year with our 2nd daughter, I was petrified of the weight gain. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of gaining back more weight, but at the same time -- overjoyed with the pregnancy. Quite the emotional roller coaster, especially combined with pregnancy hormones! ;)

No one understood how I felt. It wasn't just that I was going to gain, but also that I had to wait 9 months to work on losing again. I resolved to keep working out, and eat healthy. Then while running about 2 months in, I began to bleed. The baby was fine, but exercising was no longer an option. I still tried to eat well (which was a struggle, but I did "ok". Overall during the pregnancy I gained 25 pounds. After she was born, I was only 10 pounds over my start weight. I was all prepared to start losing again, and a week later resumed my old workout routine...only to have "stuff" fall out of place. I had a vaginall wall prolapse (sorry for TMI), so it was another 3 months before I could resume exercise. During that time, I was so bummed I ate whatever I wanted and gained back another 10.

Getting back to your original question...I've been there and it is HARD. I also took a really long time to show in the belly even though I gained weight, so that was hard too. I would just say -- be happy for the pregnancy. It sounds like you are doing what you can to stay on track with your weight. It sucks having to wait, and watching the scale go up -- but in the end, it is all worth it, right? Your arms and legs will shrink back up, and you can resume your normal routine eventually. And if you're breastfeeding, that is 500 more calories you get to eat each day ;)

banananutmuffin
05-18-2013, 08:23 PM
I think any woman who has struggled with her weight is likely to have issues with weight gain that accompanies pregnancy. Yes, we know the end result is wonderful: a baby to love and cherish. Yes, we know gaining weight is inevitable and necessary. But none of that makes it any easier.

Pregnancy is, in my opinion, and major time of loss of control of your own body. By the end, you've got all kinds of things going on that are beyond your control (peeing your pants, passing gas, leaking boobs, etc.). The weight gain is just another thing we have to deal with, but that doesn't mean we have to like it.

I'm on my third pregnancy (and "oopsie" baby). After Baby #2, who I thought was my last, I busted my tuckus to lose the weight. I got down to my lowest weight since college. I felt great. Then surprise! I'm preggers again. And believe me, I wrestled long and hard with the fact that I knew I was going to get fat again. And I have. (I'm due in 44 days.) I typically gain around 40 lbs per pregnancy, and this time is no exception. It may not sound like a lot, but I'm only 5'0".

On top of it all, I am the world's worst pregnant woman. I do not get that "womanly glow" that so many pregnant ladies get. I get cranky. Fat. Tired. Sore. Achey. Miserable. Uncomfortable. Hormonal. And just generally turn into a b****. The end result is worth it, but the journey is no freakin' fun.

My advice: stick to your guns as long as you're not restricting calories to the point of being unhealthy. Frankly, there's nothing wrong with avoiding sweets and fried foods when you're pregnant. Indeed, it's probably best for your baby and yourself to try and eat as healthfully as possible during your pregnancy. (I say this as I munch a Twix bar... lol). You're a lot more likely to avoid gestational diabetes that way.

BTW, the 40 lbs I gained with each pregnancy was considered "a little high" for my size. With Baby #1, I struggled to lose the weight after she was born and never lost it all completely, despite diet and exercise. Was still holding onto 5 lbs when I got pregnant with #2. After #2 was born, the baby weight flew off. I ate what I wanted, never exercised, and the weight melted away until I was pre-pregnancy weight. I didn't have to work hard at my diet until I wanted to really really REALLY slim down. I nursed both kids. So each pregnancy is different. And our bodies adjust to things differently. It's hard to say what the end result will be.

GlamourGirl827
05-22-2013, 08:37 PM
On top of it all, I am the world's worst pregnant woman. I do not get that "womanly glow" that so many pregnant ladies get. I get cranky. Fat. Tired. Sore. Achey. Miserable. Uncomfortable. Hormonal. And just generally turn into a b****. The end result is worth it, but the journey is no freakin' fun.

.

Me too! My god it feels good to have someone else admit that sometimes being pregnant is miserable. I feel like I'm supposed to love being pregnant, and aside from the baby moving (I do love that!!! ) everything else is like a slow painful deterioration to a dreadful painful finale...then of course when the baby is here its worth it, like you said. :bb:

CanadianMomma
06-01-2013, 08:47 AM
I feel you!

I'm at almost 30 weeks with my second and although my weight gain has been minimal (I started at 160-165, dropped to 155-160 in the first trimester, and am back to 160-165 in the third trimester) I know how you feel.

I think it's the loss of control of your body. Especially for us women who have worked to lose weight, which involves so much learning about how your body works and taking control of it.

You get pregnant and your body takes over and does it's own thing for 9 months, with very little regard as to what you'd like.

I hate having my abs stretched and useless, I hate having to pee all the time, I hate being awkward and clumsy, I hate having to watch how much I lift/carry, I hate having a reduced lung capacity, I want my body back!

But I love those flutters and kicks, even when they go straight into my liver or kidneys.

Our bodies go on autopilot for 9 months when we are pregnant, some women are programmed to gain weight, regardless of what they eat. It's a huge evolutionary advantage, but hard to see it in that light in modern times haha.

But the nice thing is that it ends and we get our bodies back. If you nurse you even get a little extra help in using up some of those fat stores your body decided it needed.

jessicado22
06-06-2013, 01:51 AM
Me too! My god it feels good to have someone else admit that sometimes being pregnant is miserable. I feel like I'm supposed to love being pregnant, and aside from the baby moving (I do love that!!! ) everything else is like a slow painful deterioration to a dreadful painful finale...then of course when the baby is here its worth it, like you said. :bb:

Ha ha, you both are not the only ones! I do love the baby moving, and the end result. But everything else is horrible. My hubby told me that if I had a pregnancy "glow" it must be from being exposed to radioactive waste because I was a wreck....

ultrapeaches
08-20-2013, 11:59 AM
I'm 13 weeks pregnant with my second child. I was overweight when I got pregnant with my son, but about a year after he was born, DH and I both got serious and got down to healthy weights. I lost more than 60 lbs, and swore that when I got pregnant again I would stick to my way of eating and keep my gain around 25 lbs (I gained 45 with my son).

It has been way harder than I thought it would be, but I'm doing a decent job of staying "on plan" so far (no grain, no sugar, no white potatoes) but I still feel guilty that I've gained 2 lbs so far, because at this point in my first pregnancy, I hadn't gained any. Then I feel guilty about this ridiculous focus on my weight, and feel like I can't tell anyone because they'll think I'm selfishly not eating enough for my baby.

My midwife said my diet looked good, and that she doesn't focus on weight gain so much as healthy eating and eating to hunger. I am not restricting my calories so I feel like it is a safe pregnancy diet, but I still feel like there is no one who I can talk to about this without being judged.

GlamourGirl827
08-20-2013, 01:05 PM
I still feel like there is no one who I can talk to about this without being judged.

Well first, Congrats!!!!

Secondly, this statement is true about everything! lol If you say you are watching your weight while pregnant, not watching, BFing, not BFing, co sleeping, not co sleeping, going back to work, staying home etc...

You just cannot win. There will always be someone to judge, so w/ that in mind, I don't typically share my "plans" w/ others unless they ask. Just do what you are doing, discuss it w/ your doc and dh and here lol and I wouldnt even tell anyone else. Its just not worth the headache. :dizzy: