Depression and Weight Issues - What if it's not enough?




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Mii
04-25-2013, 10:39 PM
I have been losing motivation lately.

Usually when I start a goal I back off / forget / give up after a few days / hours of defining it. For whatever reason losing weight has actually been on track for me for quite some time - I lost ~ 5#/week for a few weeks, but lately I haven't been feeling up to it. I have emotional-eaten a lot less lately, prefer clean eating, etc. and I walk at least 2 miles / day. But I feel like I can't take that next step and subsequently I'm plateauing.

I know that the next step is more exercise and less slip ups (still haven't completely broken old habits) but I feel like there is no point to continuing my improvement. Sometimes I look back on my life and remember when I was a lot thinner how unhappy and alone I still was/felt. And I worry that if I lose weight I won't have anything else to blame my feelings on.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people. I don't want to feel "seen" but I don't want to waste what little time I have left as a young person. I missed out on a lot when I was in HS and in college and now I wonder if there is anything left socially to do that being slim would even be beneficial for. I just don't know what to do at this point.

What if there really is nothing better out there for me?

I feel like I am giving up my old security blanket but I don't have anything else to feel secure with. When I got anxious or sad in the past I used to just curl up with a comforter and watch something and eat. Now I just curl up and cry. I miss my old friend but I know I can't go back to the way things are.

That's it, I guess. Good night. :(


Fluffypuppy
04-26-2013, 12:28 AM
I feel for you. It is really hard to leave something comforting behind unless you have something to replace it. Maybe don't worry about the next step, more exercise etc, until you are steadier with the current step. Search for something that makes you feel comforted. Journaling, incense, this website, a friend or support line, certain tv shows or movies, tea, being productive or lying down. Those are the things that work for me, but it took a long time to believe these things would work as well as food and your list will inevitably be different.

As for missing out on things, I say don't feel pressure to do things that other people your age do if they make you uncomfortable. If you actually think you might enjoy these activities then let it be a motivation. I'm sure some of those things can even be enjoyed at your current weight but you didn't mention what you had in mind. But you are really not that heavy for your height so go for it! You have done great already!

If you need a break, maintain for a while. It is alot to adjust to.

Mii
04-26-2013, 12:36 AM
Thanks for your advice.

I am actually kind of excited to go back to 4HB and to start kettlebells - I have done a modified version when I was a member @ PlanetFitness months ago and I really liked it. I was just worried about bulking up / out.

I will try lots of green teas and maybe nature walks as well. When I'm alone at night is when I start to stress out & worry. Maybe I will add something relaxing to do @ the end of the day or just watch something funny.

The carbs @ night is starting to taper off for whatever reason. I still lose weight but it's no longer at the 4-5# / week. This week so far it's been about 1.5# or so. I walk to work and it used to be a challenge , now it's a breeze. Looks like I need to up the cardio if I want to keep going.

I wanted to try SUP and I want to wear a bikini / shorts this year. :x

I have KP so that is part of why I cover up so much. I have felt hopeless about a lot of things (weight, skin, looks, job search, social life, etc... etc...), and when I feel like I can't improve anything, I gain.


Fluffypuppy
04-26-2013, 11:15 PM
1.5#s is still really good!

I stress out at night sometimes too. Deffinately have the past few days. Right now I am being totally crazy and watching one of my dogs sleep and worrying he is breathing too fast. One thing I do that helps is I keep a list of times I have worried but then everything has turned out fine.

What is SUP?

You said when you feel hopeless you gain. Try to think of it this way. There is a lot in life we can't change or control but for most of us, our weight is not one of those things!

You have done great already. Don't lose sight of that either.

thinner
04-27-2013, 04:08 PM
SUP = Stand Up Paddling