100 lb. Club - Today I did not weigh in.
04-16-2013, 08:24 PM
Today was my weigh in day. I did not weigh in. In fact I did not even shower. I did not go to work. I did not do these things because yesterday my city was bombed. I was downtown during the chaos, terrified and sick to my stomach in the historic public downtown Boston building I work in. Are there more, were we next. A member of my staff was on the street between where the explosions went off watching the marathon on what is historically an amazing day in Boston. I thought i was going to be sick that she was there at ground zero, even after confirming she hadnt been injured. I chose to leave the city and come home. I thought i was going to be sick as they made bomb awareness notices on my jam packed train out of the city. I thought I was going to be sick when I spoke to my parents, my boyfriend telling them not to worry, i was ok. We are ok. I am so thankful everyone I know is safe. I'm so thankful.
Today I took a sad day. I watched the reports, spoke to friends and family and clients from home, I did not count calories, I let myself cry. I weeded through what was hundreds of emails and texts and social media measages from around the country checking in on our well being. That was today. That is today and I still cry. The messages still come and I am in love with everyone I have ever known for reaching out. They do not see me cry, it is why I am home. It is why i chose to share these feelings here anonymously. So I can grieve in my own way and return strong and supportative and level headed tomorrow. Tomorrow I will resume my normal life because its the only way. It is the only way because I love my city, my state that has been my home for my entire life. I want to be brave. I am not afraid of the terrorists. I will not be, because that is what they want. I will not be because I'm a Bostonian and I am tough. I will do my best for my traumatized staff, my friends, my family. I will do my best for my customers now worried about their travel to my fair city. I will continue my healthy path and not let these tough and emotional times derail me. Tomorrow I will count my calories. Tomorrow I will weigh in.Tomorrow I will start training to run.
Thank you to anyone who reads this. I am sad and I needed to just put it out there.
04-16-2013, 08:35 PM
04-16-2013, 08:36 PM
Glad to know you're safe. My condolences to anyone who was injured, terrified or knows someone that was/is, and their friends and families.
04-16-2013, 08:43 PM
I'm so sorry what you have been through over the last 24 hours +/-, I can't imagine how you feel. I'm glad you have a plan for tomorrow, it's part of the healing process. We are here for you.:hug:
04-16-2013, 11:09 PM
:hug: I'm glad you're safe. :hug: We are here for you. :grouphug:
I will say a special prayer for strength, healing and guidance not only for you :hug:, but for all of Boston and those affected by this cowardly act. :hug:
Keep Moving Forward
04-16-2013, 11:19 PM
I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm glad you're safe & I'm glad you're taking the time to heal. Hugs.
04-16-2013, 11:36 PM
I'm glad you are safe, and my heart is with you in Boston today.
04-17-2013, 03:19 AM
04-17-2013, 04:54 AM
I have no words of my own to share but (even though I am pretty sure you might have seen this already) I found this piece.
Boston. ****ing horrible.
I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."
But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem -- one human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.
But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in a while, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.
But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evildoers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.
So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."
04-17-2013, 08:48 AM
I am so sorry. Not just for you, but for Boston and honestly, America as a whole. It breaks my heart. I wasn't there, and I have been teary since it happened. I am sad for the children. I have 4, 3 who are old enough to ask questions... Not all of which I was prepared for. I think it is fine for you to take a sad day. I can't imagine being there. I know you are doing your best to heal and recover. I am praying for you.
04-17-2013, 09:37 AM
How are you feeling today, Sunshine?
04-17-2013, 10:21 AM
Good morning. Thank you all so much. This morning started better. Then I got on the train which was emergency evacuated 2 stops after I got on. There was swat team, bomb sniffing dogs, fire, local and transit police. They searched the train, the people and got us back on. I am actually back on the train now which has been stopped on the tracks for 20 minutes but for once the wifi is working. How am I, I am scared. I hear Fox News was reporting our evacuation at least locally. I just want to get into the city so I can get off this train. On a good note, my eating has been on plan today. I think I might leave early before rush hour and do my first jog.
04-17-2013, 10:26 AM
:hug::hug: I can't find the right words. My sorrow and prayers are with all of you in Boston.
04-17-2013, 12:46 PM
It takes a lot of strength and courage to get up and continue on with your life when someone/something knocks you down.
Bravo to you.
04-17-2013, 01:22 PM
Drying my own eyes for Boston as I read this. I am so, so sorry for everyone injured and the lives that were lost, I'm sorry you had to go through that, and be so frightened. I am praying for all Bostonians, and I pledge to push myself harder than ever in their honor, as I train for my first 5K.
04-17-2013, 01:27 PM
Drying my own eyes for Boston as I read this. I am so, so sorry for everyone injured and the lives that were lost, I'm sorry you had to go through that, and be so terribly frightened. I am praying for all Bostonians, and I pledge to push myself harder than ever in their honor as I train for my first 5K.
04-17-2013, 01:29 PM
Also what Numina said...Bostontonians have much to be proud of, even in chaos they exemplified the American spirit, putting concern for themselves aside as they reached out to help the injured.
04-17-2013, 01:35 PM
Words seem inadequate, but just know that the whole country is with you all and heartbroken for you.
04-17-2013, 01:48 PM
I have watched with disbelief and sorrow the events unfolding in your lovely city. One thing I want to say to you and everyone else in Boston: you should be so very, very proud. Runners, spectators, bystanders, police, EMT personnel --- everyone I saw acted with courage and compassion for one another. Watching the selfless way everyone came together after this cowardly act, I have no doubt whatsoever that Boston will carry on and that in the long run, the person(s) behind the bombing failed, because of all of you.
Kudos for you for being back on that train today and back to work, strong so others can lean on you if they need to. I admire you very much.
04-17-2013, 04:22 PM
This was a hard day. After finally coming down from the anxiety of this morning it left me exhausted. Add to that trying to support my poor staff member who is just trying so much but is suffering and struggling (and who I did send home) and the now off and on reports about suspects I decided to call it a day. Tomorrow is a new day and we will try again. For now I'm just going to get home, try to have a meal ( I couldn't eat after this morning) and get some fresh air.
Thank you all for your kind words and support.