I hope this thread doesn't sound too negative. But anymore, I can't help but wonder if I will ever really reach goal or anywhere near it. I have all kinds of starts where I am "going to do this!" and then I'll lose some and then I peeter out...gain it all back and go back to my normal unhealthy routine. I've been doing this for over 10 years now. This lovely routine of mine. I am better. My highest was 3 years ago and I have not been near it since. If fact I haven't been over 300 since, but I am awfully close.
If I am REALLY honest with myself, I am not so sure I will really ever make it to goal. Do you believe you will. What makes you so sure??
05-27-2003, 05:35 PM
i believe i will. i've lost 38 pounds in 8 months - that's slow. BUT. i've got a hang of it. i don't fall off the wagon as much anymore. i'm in control. i'm not giving up.
mark my words -- by this time next year (convention time!!) i will be at goal. =)
05-27-2003, 05:45 PM
I have to believe it. If I don't believe it, I may as well just throw in the towel. I believe it because I AM NOT going to be fat like this for the rest of my life.
And Sandi, I think that the fact that you've stayed under 300 lbs. for as long as you have is promising. If you didn't want it, you wouldn't be concerned with the number. If you really didn't want it, you'd be well over 300 lbs. by now.
05-27-2003, 06:33 PM
Hmmm.... very good thread Sandi!
I don't know if I'll ever be 150. I know that's my "goal" but sometimes I think that's crazy.
I've started thinking that the way of the mini-goal might be the answer. Like 200 sure does look attainable compared to 150 and 230 by the 4th of July sure does look appealing. I almost feel like mini chunks might help me to not give up hope all together. Does that make any sense?
05-27-2003, 07:01 PM
Originally posted by Goddess Jessica
I don't know if I'll ever be 150. I know that's my "goal" but sometimes I think that's crazy. Amen, sista!
I think I'm going to have to revamp my goal to 180. I'll have to see how I look/feel at that weight; do a kind of re-evaluation of my eating habits, exercise routine, emotions, how I deal w/tough times, etc. Of course, @ 180, I will have lost 150#, a whole person! so that's certainly nothing to sneeze at.
I know how you feel, Sandi, check my journal from Sunday for more info. I feel like I've come pretty far, but have miles to go before I sleep. *sigh*
05-27-2003, 07:02 PM
i thought about this more as i biked to school. i kinda threw a fast answer up there before.
yes, i believe i'll make it. but part of me doesn't because i can't envision myself as not fat. it seems like it's a part of who i am. i know i'm going to be one of those people who has a hard time seeing herself for the "thin" person she is when i get there.
but i WILL get there, and i won't let myself gain it back.
05-27-2003, 07:07 PM
Well, I have met my first goal - that was to live a healthier lifestyle regarding food choices, water and exercise.
And I've never stated a final weight loss goal because I don't know what the heck that would be anymore. I just figure it I get there, I'll know it.
With that said, I have lost 40 pounds. It's been almost a year. But other than the water weight ups and downs, I haven't gone backward. Yes, I've had days when I've eaten things that don't reflect a dieting lifestyle. And it's meant I have not lost as much as I might have. But I've felt from the beginning that one reason I've failed in the past is that I was too stringent and therefore ended up bingeing out and giving up. So this time I went for the overall and have improved my general health a good bit. Not enough yet but I'm keeping that as my goal and not focussing on number of pounds, etc. The second year will be harder because I'll have to cut back more to keep losing but easier in that I've made so many good lifestyle changes that I don't miss some of the bad habits anymore.
Don't give up. You've made changes. You've kept weight off. Just be nice to yourself and thing of all the good things you've done (and all the good you've done for all of us on the thread). Once in a while have those things you love and miss, in moderation. You'll make it.
05-27-2003, 07:48 PM
I'm gonna be the spoilsport here and say no I don't think I will. Everytime I get going well on the weightloss journey something mentally spooks me and I gain it all back plus more very quickly...maybe it's the fact that food is my comfort (and no I don't mean fruits and veggies). I'm really honestly afraid to do this. When I originally started this board in Sept 2000 (had a different name) I weighed 308 it'll be 3 years here in a few months and I've only managed to gain weight even though I probably tried 10 diets. I'm sabotaging myself.
05-27-2003, 08:03 PM
Yes, I do believe I will make it to goal. I've done this for what seems like a million times, but for some reason, this time is different. Like others, I'm not totally sure I will make the number goal I've set for myself, but I also have other criteria that I want to meet, and if I do that, I will know that I have made it to what I consider my weight/health goal.
The more important question for me is will I be able to maintain my goal. But that's so far in the future that I'm not going to dwell on it, but trust that I will learn what I need to learn to maintain as I continue along this journey.
05-27-2003, 09:13 PM
I agree with Sheila, for some reason this time is different. I do think that I'll reach goal. I'm over half way there and haven't cheated even once, so something just clicked for me this time. The goal weight that I've picked of 140 isn't super thin for my 5'3" body, so I think that it's a goal that's attainable and maintainable. I think that if I picked 110, or something like that, then I'd be setting myself up for failure, but I think that 140 is a realistic goal.
05-27-2003, 09:17 PM
I have been having major doubts that I can make goal .. life has been crazy since I started working..
I really don't know if I can get back on track at this point.
05-27-2003, 09:35 PM
This thread actually just gave me a swift kick in the ***. I WILL get down to 300 pounds that is my goal....not setting a specific date...not aiming any farther.....that's it for now.
05-27-2003, 10:20 PM
i'm going to be very honest here. if i had not had the surgery, there's no way on this planet that i'd be anywhere near goal. or even thinking about it.
and even so, i now have officially 35 pounds to go [and then another 20-30 pounds of skin to come of at plastic surgery], and i'll weigh about 180. and each and every one of my doctors, even the tiny little size 4 PCP, agrees that this'll be a good weight for me.
now, i'm working very hard at this. and i'm not sure i'll make it. i know i'[ll come close, but will it actually happen??? i'm not convinced.
05-27-2003, 10:22 PM
God, I hope so. I just think about how horrible the last 2 years have been... and I'm like "Yeah, I'm not going to live the next 70 this unhappy." Also, I feel like I have to if I want to be ALIVE in 50-60-70 years! -Apryl
05-28-2003, 01:05 PM
I have absolutely no doubt that this time is the time for me. This is the first time that everything has "clicked", the first time I'm not rushing at breakneak speed and half-starving myself in a desperate attempt to get as much weight off as possible, the first time I'm not jumping on the scale every day, etc.
This time it's about learning to love the food I eat, and learning to listen to my body and trust myself. I rarely think about "dieting" or food anymore, because I'm building a healthy relationship with food. I'm exercising every day because I enjoy it, not because some diet dictionary says that I must.
It took a few years, but it did finally "click".
05-28-2003, 01:21 PM
Bill Phillips calls it crossing the abyss and turning your dreams into substantial goals. But as some one else mentioned there are plans of action which in themselves are mini-goals to make it there.
The other thing that has occured to me as of late is that this process is continous. My goal for today may be different than 6 months from now.
I refuse to give up. I may slip and slide along the way, I will have set backs. These things are transitory. I am in no hurry. I have time, and if my life were to end today it would end with progress. I have continued to change and grow. Perfection is an illusion, I can only measure my progress.
I am the warrior, my biggest foe myself. For now there is a peace treaty on the table, but I am strong enough to stand in battle as needed. I recognize the signs of an impending battle. Some battles may be lost, but the war is mine!
05-28-2003, 02:05 PM
A couple of people have mentioned the click factor. And I think it's happened to me too. This hasn't been like a diet, I feel like I'm really changing my life. That being said, I try not to set any hard goals for myself--every pound I lose is a pleasant surprise. I have no need to be a skinny little thing, I just needed to change my life and stop hiding behind my fat. At this point, I've really gained an understanding of the 12-steppers' One Day At a Time motto. That's how this is for me.
05-28-2003, 02:49 PM
So I'm thinking that if I don't believe I will get to goal...I never will. I guess it's called stinkin thinking. I am trying to reevaluate and come up with a plan. I need to find some outside motivating factors.
05-28-2003, 02:58 PM
I do believe that I will get to goal, I was close about 7+ years ago. I would kill to be back there again. There was always something stopping me.
Now that I've had my son, I realize that I need to be healthy both for me and for him. He's 14 months, so I can't exactly say that it's still baby fat.
I've made up my mind that I want to be at goal by his next next birthday March 30th. It gives me some time to get there. It's a struggle everyday, but it definately is "One Day at a Time".
Good Luck to everyone.
05-28-2003, 02:58 PM
Whatever we can do to help Sandi, let us know!!!!!!!!
05-28-2003, 03:31 PM
Sandi, I felt like you did for so long. I needed something that was beyond me. It turned up in the form of my 14 year old daughter looking in the mirror and saying "Mom, I'm so FAT, I hate myself!" I felt crushed. I woke up one morning very shortly after that and realized I was no longer going to live the way I had been, nor would my children.
This is not an overnight thing... Like Peekaboo said, this is...
the first time I'm not rushing at breakneak speed and half-starving myself in a desperate attempt to get as much weight off as possible...
Well, I have met my first goal - that was to live a healthier lifestyle regarding food choices, water and exercise.
And I've watched my children change their attitudes and perspectives. They LIKE fish and brown rice now. They happily drink water instead of juice or soda. They are excited for me as I get into better shape and am less fat. And they want to join me in being strong and fit. That is a HUGE reward for me. As I've seen said by so many people on this site, this is not a diet, this is my LIFE. And yes, I will achieve my goal. Whatever that is as I lose weight. Right now it's 135, but I'm not sure I'll be happy with that. I may be much happier at a more muscular 145. I don't know, but I'm going to have fun finding out! :D
05-28-2003, 09:50 PM
I am certain I will make it, no matter how long it takes. This is my life now and I'm going to live it to the fullest.
05-28-2003, 10:08 PM
I get overwhelmed when I think to much about my ultimate goal weight.
I am CERTAIN I will make my mini-goal though - my adoption goal. It seems very attainable to me. I'm fine with that for now.
I will continue to set mini-goals as I go down. That works for me.
05-28-2003, 10:36 PM
good question, Sandi! I don't know what my goal is yet. I'm setting mini goals for now. My next one is to get under 217, which is what I weighed before getting pregnant. I was under that right after Matthew was born, but that was due to severe anxiety from post partum depression. I went from 234 on the day he was born down to 206 in about ten days from the horrible anxiety..not a recommended way to lose weight! After starting medication, I just kept gaining up to 256. I'm now down to 222.
After 217, I want to see under 208, which was what I think was my weight when I got married. After that, under 200....I'm not sure where after that.
I don't know what to set as a goal. When I was in college freshman /sophmore year, I weighed around 155, and thought I was fat then...now it's sounding like a good goal weight. I'd love to get to 145, but I think I'd have to starve myself to get back there. I didn't exercise back then, so I think 155 with a well toned body will look better than a flabby, out of shape 145.
05-29-2003, 09:42 AM
I think of everyday as a goal. Sometimes we see a final goal and it seems so daunting and discouraging when things aren't going as well as we hoped. As lots of people have mentioned, it is just taking things one day at a time and making lifestyle changes that are permanent.
I just got back from a trip to the Bahamas with my friend Julie. She recently has been losing weight and is down about 30 pounds. She mentioned that her "goal" was to eventually get down to 180 (she is about 210 now). She said that she knows she will always be a big girl but that she would be happy to maintain around that weight.
I've been thinking lately about my final "goal" waist size of 34. Julie said that because I am tall, that this was unreasonable. She said maybe a 38 would be best. I have no idea, I guess when I get down to that size I will see how I feel and look.
BTW, the vacation was too quick! The beaches were great and I did lots of swimming (and have a nice tan too boot). In other news, the scale that I ordered has arrived, but I wasn't home to sign for it. Maybe it will be left at my door tonight (i left a note, hopefully they will leave it). I'm a little nervous to find out what I really weigh.
05-29-2003, 10:37 AM
Great to have you back! Whatever the scale says, just remember that you've come so far and you're doing so great, so don't let a number scare you or throw you off track. Keep up the great work!
BTW, remember we're waiting for those vacation pix!!
05-29-2003, 10:54 AM
I wish I could emphatically say "Yes!", but I'd be lying. I've been considered overweight for most of my life and have yo-yoed up and down the scales so much that I'm not even sure what a realistic goal weight is for me. I'm hoping that I can make it to between 135 and 145 (145 is the most I can weigh and still have a normal BMI). My dietician's goal for me is 175 (and I'm not even confident that I'll make that goal -- I haven't weighed that low in almost a decade!). So who knows where I'll end up?
05-29-2003, 01:26 PM
Welcome back, Matt & ditto on what mothergoose said--they're only numbers. the most I can weigh and still have a normal BMII think this is 150 for me, but like I said, I'll have to see how i'm feeling when I get to 180.
05-29-2003, 02:56 PM
Welcome back Matt! :)
I know I will reach my goal weight, I am so confident and I have the motivation to get there. I'm not sure how long it will take, and the least I've ever weighed since I was 16 is 203, which I was a few months ago. I felt so good and so confident at that weight, I just want to be there again. :)
05-29-2003, 03:27 PM
Yes, I believe I will this time! And if you had asked me this 6 months ago, I would have been forced to say no, considering where I was mentally. The strength to believe that I can comes from many places, One in particular, but the day to day living it is also a goal like Matt said.
Every day we spend OP is one step closer to our dearest, most heartfelt goals for ourselves. Every good day shortens the distance between where we are and where we want to be.
We all need anchors to hold us in place on the long journey. Something individual to each of us, that grabs us to the core and makes the connection, or the "clicking" happen.
Everyone, keep struggling! Keep confident! Carpe Diem! This is part of life, it is OUR lives that we are fighting for!
05-30-2003, 12:31 AM
I think this is a great thread, and something for many to think about.
I cannot say for certain if I think I will reach my "goal" or not. I suppose I feel almost 50/50 about it because I have always been big, have never been sucessful at losing weight, and like a few have said, I cannot imagine myself as "thin".
BUT then again, I have lost 31.5 lbs in about 7 weeks, and met my 30 lb goal before my set date of June 15th. That makes me feel wonderful, and really makes me think that I CAN meet my goal.
My goal that I would LOVE would be 180 lbs - but then again, I have to be realistic. 200 lbs is very realistic to me, and by setting smaller 30 lb goals, I feel like I can get there.
It's hard, but we'll all make it.
~ Kari ~
05-30-2003, 02:52 PM
I think I'll be able to reach my goal, and that's only if I can remain unemployed and have the ability to save as much money as possible in my savings account til I get to my goal weight of around 140. I'm really seriously surprised even at my own self for making it this far. My starting weight was 304, I'm now at 264. I watch the carbs (as directed by my mother--a diabetic), ride my bike EVERY day for 10 kilometers, then do about 20 minutes of weightlifting. It just feels like it takes forever for the weight to even start coming off though that makes me discouraged. I had always been used to telling my mom when she went shopping at X-mas, to get me size 26 jeans that last weekend when I had to go shopping for size 24 (!) jeans, I just about had a Chonda Pierce moment in the dressing room. *LOL* Since I'm off work, I have time to work out, it's just feeling like it's going ot take so long even though the way time seems to fly around here lately, it may take shorter than I think. Who knows? I'm really glad I joined this board yesterday too, you guys are great!
05-30-2003, 03:06 PM
That's wonderful that you've gone down a size--yippee! And you've done amazing with your weight loss. Congratulations!
I'm finding that it's taking a lot more effort for me to lose weight, which is sometimes discouraging, but I'm really committed to this. I do aerobics 3X per week, weightlift 2X per week, walk 2X per week (and also at other times) and do stretching exercises daily. I track calories on fitday.com (although I'm on WW--I just find it interesting to look at them) and usually have a 1,000 calorie deficit or more per day. But still I only lose one pound. But, hey, I'm gonna take that pound--it's one pound less of me and all those "one pounds" add up.
I love the monthly challenges, and the holiday challenges here. Setting those little minigoals is so much easier than looking at the fact that I have 62 more pounds to lose. In fact, until I wrote that, I hadn't really thought about that, but I have been thinking about the 8 more pounds I'd like to lose by July 4. That's doable.
Glad you're here, and good luck on your journey!
05-30-2003, 03:26 PM
One thing that I've found though is just the staying active part. I mean, because I eat a Budget Gourmet thing for lunch with 41 carbs in it, then I eat something small for dinner. I have been keeping a chart, and almost every day for the last month, I've had around 60-80 carbs a day, and only around 500-850 calories a day. I guess that helps though, but the working out really makes me feel like I've done something, more than just the food part.
05-30-2003, 03:32 PM
F-5 Diva....At the risk of sounding completely clueless, who's Chonda Pierce? :?:
05-30-2003, 03:42 PM
*LOL* It's ok, chica, Chonda Pierce is a female Christian comedian. If you go to a music store or a Christian bookstore, look for her Four-Eyed Blonde CD. It's from one of her live shows, it is the best one of any of hers that I have ever heard, in my opinion of course. Speaking of, there's one part on it where she's talking about how guys make sure they always get credit when they do stuff. She's like, "You drive down the road and see a sign that says 'Men At Work'...when you're at home, do you see a sign that says 'Mom's Doing Dishes'? NO!" *LOL*