Living Maintenance - Heading towards 10th year of maintenance and it's hard every day




sacha
04-15-2013, 01:37 PM
I say 10, because I don't count my 2 pregnancies/losses, obviously at 120ish lbs, I had to gain a bit.

But I'm in year 9, heading into year 10, and it's hard every day.

I was (am) an alcoholic - and yet quitting drinking is easier than this. At least I don't have to touch alcohol, but I have to eat every day.

My figure looks so effortless to others but really, every single meal requires thought, planning, or at least a mini-analysis in my head. It sucks. It didn't use to be this way (when I was normally slim in high school without even thinking about it), but once I gained the freshman 15 (and more!!!), it's been a battle every since.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, I guess just wondering if there are any other long-term maintainers who can relate.

PS to the short-term maintainers- even though I rant, believe me, it's better than the alternative of when I was winded walking up 10 steps!!!


bargoo
04-15-2013, 01:44 PM
Congratulations on maintaining for 9 almost 10 years. That is remarkable ! I have not had as long maintaining as you, but find that is something I have to think about most of the time. My meals are well planned, it does get tiresome at times but I would rather do some planning than have to wear xlarge clothing again.
Excellent job on not drinking, congratulations.

traveling michele
04-15-2013, 03:39 PM
Congratulations on maintaining so well for so long. Though I've not been maintaining as long as you, it is a constant struggle and battle. Sometimes I want to give up. Yet, you are right-- others don't see that. They think I'm maintaining easily. They don't see the 10 pounds I've gained that torment me and my mind. Yesterday I went into Cheesecake Factory with my dd because she wanted a piece (she was home from college for the weekend)-- she will need to start watching her weight but I wasn't about to say that-- I hope I've modeled well enough so she knows what to do. While we were looking at the display (and I was trying not to drool-- seriously-- I'm drooling now just thinking about it)-- everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?! Some of the people were thin, some a little heavy.... normal.... I never feel "normal". It is a battle, but as bargoo says-- I'd much rather be happier with myself in the mirror, in my clothes, and having more energy than I did when I was obese. That is why I rely so heavily on 3FC's. It keeps me sane (somewhat). Let's me vent. Helps to keep me motivated.... Recently, I've started following a lot of fitness/inspirational people on instagram (that and dogs and cats!)-- it always helps me-- though it can be depressing to see bodies that I know I'll never have no matter what.....


krampus
04-15-2013, 05:50 PM
I'm not even at 1 year yet and I'm 26 and have had no babies, but I had a couple questions -

How many years of maintenance did it take for you to start feeling like it was hard? Was it just always a struggle?

What is the extent of everyone's planning? Obviously a single person with hours and hours of free time every day has more time to cook and therefore doesn't need to make a menu for the week on Sunday or Monday.

elvislover324
04-15-2013, 05:53 PM
Just wanted to say congratulations!! You have done amazing things with your life and inspire so many of us every day!! :)

VermontMom
04-15-2013, 06:02 PM
Big, big congratulations to you!! :cheer2:

sacha, I always read what you have to say, and have admired your tiny size :cool: I know you're just a little north of me, so it's easier to realize you're a real person dealing with everything we all do, yet you have done it!

You have 'chosen your hard' and you can always, always vent or talk about how difficult it is with your 3FC sistahs (and bros)

freelancemomma
04-15-2013, 06:14 PM
everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?!

Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance

traveling michele
04-15-2013, 06:36 PM
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance

I am currently trying to take off 10 pounds that I gained, otherwise I might not be as restrictive. Considering the slices of cheesecake there are mostly over 1,000 calories each, they aren't in my budget at the moment. I gain weight very very easily so it will be a long while before I allow such indulgences (and then it will likely be a few bites-- not a whole piece).

sacha
04-16-2013, 07:30 AM
Wow, thank you for all the lovely responses!!! :) I will try and respond to each one of you, just gotta wrangle these two little guys demanding attention 24/7. Give me time!

sacha
04-16-2013, 07:38 AM
Congratulations on maintaining for 9 almost 10 years. That is remarkable ! I have not had as long maintaining as you, but find that is something I have to think about most of the time. My meals are well planned, it does get tiresome at times but I would rather do some planning than have to wear xlarge clothing again.
Excellent job on not drinking, congratulations.

Thanks Bargoo. My last drink was summer 2009, it was an easier decision because I got pregnant and said I was done. It's been 4 years. It's so much easier to turn down alcohol - after all, I am nursing a baby, it's easy to say no. I live in Quebec, and the idea of not drinking is quite shocking to most, I'm not sure how I will navigate this once my youngest weans.

You're right, it is tiresome, but it's the alternative that is worse right??


Congratulations on maintaining so well for so long. Though I've not been maintaining as long as you, it is a constant struggle and battle. Sometimes I want to give up. Yet, you are right-- others don't see that. They think I'm maintaining easily. They don't see the 10 pounds I've gained that torment me and my mind. Yesterday I went into Cheesecake Factory with my dd because she wanted a piece (she was home from college for the weekend)-- she will need to start watching her weight but I wasn't about to say that-- I hope I've modeled well enough so she knows what to do. While we were looking at the display (and I was trying not to drool-- seriously-- I'm drooling now just thinking about it)-- everyone that was waiting for tables was telling us their favorite types there-- I wanted to yell out-- IT'S NOT FOR ME! I would never eat this! How can you all eat this?! Some of the people were thin, some a little heavy.... normal.... I never feel "normal". It is a battle, but as bargoo says-- I'd much rather be happier with myself in the mirror, in my clothes, and having more energy than I did when I was obese. That is why I rely so heavily on 3FC's. It keeps me sane (somewhat). Let's me vent. Helps to keep me motivated.... Recently, I've started following a lot of fitness/inspirational people on instagram (that and dogs and cats!)-- it always helps me-- though it can be depressing to see bodies that I know I'll never have no matter what.....

It's amazing what goes on behind the scenes eh? That's what I love about 3FC.

I'm not even at 1 year yet and I'm 26 and have had no babies, but I had a couple questions -

How many years of maintenance did it take for you to start feeling like it was hard? Was it just always a struggle?

What is the extent of everyone's planning? Obviously a single person with hours and hours of free time every day has more time to cook and therefore doesn't need to make a menu for the week on Sunday or Monday.

It was easy from 2004-2009 - when I got pregnant with my 1st baby, I went absolutely nuts with eating because I had been "on plan" for 5 years straight. Gained 40lbs (and only 9 of it was a baby). Excused myself thinking since weight loss was easy the 1st time (at age 20) that it would be easy again. I was a busy college student, no time to think about food. Being a stay at home mom, sitting around bored in a kitchen all day? No time to work out??? Oh boy. Plus, I got into terrible eating habits again. Thin girl trapped in a growing girl's body I guess.

For planning, I just guesstimate for dinners (which is not too hard after 10 years) and count for everything else. 2 kids under 3 means restaurants are easily avoidable, the only ones we go to, are chains with menus published. No poor soul in a nice restaurant should suffer my annoying toddler LOL

Just wanted to say congratulations!! You have done amazing things with your life and inspire so many of us every day!! :)

Thanks :)

Big, big congratulations to you!! :cheer2:

sacha, I always read what you have to say, and have admired your tiny size :cool: I know you're just a little north of me, so it's easier to realize you're a real person dealing with everything we all do, yet you have done it!

You have 'chosen your hard' and you can always, always vent or talk about how difficult it is with your 3FC sistahs (and bros)

True, I'm only 20 minutes from the border ;) Thank you!

Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance

I've found that over time, over-restriction causes freak outs. I like substitutes - I cannot control myself with a bag of Lays, so I have popcorn with the salt and vinegar shakers! Besides I MUST learn this, because my husband and 2 kids do not adhere to my plan! My kids aren't fed junk, but full fat cheddar is still on their menu. That one is a killer!

Mudpie
04-16-2013, 07:59 AM
Sacha Congrats! re turning down alcohol - I find it easier to walk around with a glass of pop or a beer bottle in my hand I don't drink it but it looks like I'm drinking. Most people will not ask if you have one in your hand.

I have been sober for almost 20 years and you're right - it's easier than food 'cause it's not something you HAVE to have.

Dagmar

lin43
04-16-2013, 08:27 AM
Congratulations!

joefla70
04-16-2013, 09:28 AM
Why is eating an occasional slice of cheesecake not compatible with maintenance? Cheesecake is one of my favourite foods, and I think I'd rather be fat than give it up entirely. I don't keep it in the house, but once in a while I'll order a slice at a restaurant (if I know it's fresh and high-quality). Or are you on some kind of special plan that restricts carbs or dairy?

Freelance

It depends on the person. For some people, it might not be. Like OP said, she has found dealing with her alcoholism easier because she can completely avoid alcohol. One certainly wouldn't ask a recovering alcoholic why having an occasional drink is not compatible with their recovery from alcoholism. The same could be said for certain people who have issues with sugar. There are people, like yourself, who can eat just that one, occasional slice and not trigger a sugar binge. For other people who have problems with sugar, and who weened themselves off of it, having a slice of cheesecake might like the OP deciding to have a drink.

evilwomaniamshe
04-16-2013, 09:42 AM
Sasha, CONGRATS on being SOBER & Congrats on 10 years!!! That is AWESOME!
You ROCK girl & congrats on your new babee too! :)

newleaf123
04-16-2013, 10:00 AM
Congratulations on your years of maintenance!! Quite an accomplishment!

bargoo
04-16-2013, 10:10 AM
It depends on the person. For some people, it might not be. Like OP said, she has found dealing with her alcoholism easier because she can completely avoid alcohol. One certainly wouldn't ask a recovering alcoholic why having an occasional drink is not compatible with their recovery from alcoholism. The same could be said for certain people who have issues with sugar. There are people, like yourself, who can eat just that one, occasional slice and not trigger a sugar binge. For other people who have problems with sugar, and who weened themselves off of it, having a slice of cheesecake might like the OP deciding to have a drink.

Very good point. If I eat something loaded with sugar my body says , "More,more give me more".

traveling michele
04-16-2013, 10:48 AM
Yep, that's me too, and I wake up @ 2 a.m. all sweaty with the shakes. I wonder if some of the sugar stuff, for me, has to do with all that artificial sweetener I consumed with pop and caffeine drinks all those years? Would be interesting to see a study done on those who extensively used and then quit sweeteners.

Dagmar :mouse: (lab rat?)

Dagmar-- I also have been known to wake up sweaty with the shakes-- I even passed out once after eating large amounts of sugar-- my body just can't handle it.

Sacha-- my body also doesn't handle alcohol. I just don't drink (minus my last cruise but that's a different story-- I'm not an alcoholic-- I just choose not to drink usually). I'm just matter of fact about it and people don't usually ask. They are often happy to find a designated driver which I'm happy to be.

Mudpie
04-16-2013, 10:49 AM
Very good point. If I eat something loaded with sugar my body says , "More,more give me more".

Yep, that's me too, and I wake up @ 2 a.m. all sweaty with the shakes. I wonder if some of the sugar stuff, for me, has to do with all that artificial sweetener I consumed with pop and caffeine drinks all those years? Would be interesting to see a study done on those who extensively used and then quit sweeteners.

Dagmar :mouse: (lab rat?)

paperclippy
04-16-2013, 11:18 AM
Sacha, thanks for this post. Congrats first off on so many years of maintenance and on quitting drinking! I am very interested in your story as I am also a long-term maintainer and I'm currently pregnant with my first children (twins). I've just passed my high weight from when I was fat, and it's only going to keep going up from here until the babies are born. This is as expected for twin pregnancy and the doctors are happy with my weight, but I admit to being extremely nervous about losing it later. I think one of the reasons I'm nervous is that I've had to pretty dramatically change my diet in order to meet the protein goals my doctor gave me, whereas typically for maintenance I eat a diet that is largely vegetables and grains. I think it will probably be difficult to figure out how to eat to lose weight while still eating enough of the right things to breastfeed.

In general, I have had ups and downs in maintenance, and a couple times I have had to go back to dieting to re-lose some weight. Sometimes it seems easy, sometimes it seems hard. Basically it seems easy until I notice that I've gained a bunch of weight, at which point it suddenly seems very hard. :lol: It's never easy to refuse unhealthy food that I love. I've generally taken the approach of letting myself have a "cheat meal" once a week, so I don't start feeling too deprived. I am one of the people who needs to include everything in moderation rather than eliminating categories of food -- if I eliminate something entirely, I become obsessive about how badly I want it and end up caving in and eating way too much of it.

Krampus, you asked about planning. I always do a weekly plan, because then I only have to go to the grocery store once a week. :lol: My weekly planning consists of picking out about 4 recipes to cook during the week, each of which makes at least 4 servings (up to 8) to feed myself and DH. Lunches are always leftovers from dinner, and some dinners are also leftovers. Breakfast is always either cold cereal or oatmeal with fruit. Snacks are always fruit and/or yogurt or light string cheese. So I don't plan out exactly what I'm going to eat at every single meal for the whole week, but I do have a menu of options to choose from on any given day (like if I picked out a chicken recipe and a beef recipe, and on one day I don't feel like eating beef, it's no big deal because I can cook chicken instead). All of the recipes I use come from magazines and websites that specify the nutritional information so it's easy for me to portion them out and count calories. When I'm in losing mode I use a food scale to monitor my portion sizes for things like cereal; when I'm in maintaining mode I eyeball them.

I don't know if any of this blather is useful to anyone at all, but since I already typed it all I might as well post it. :lol:

bargoo
04-16-2013, 11:32 AM
I'm not even at 1 year yet and I'm 26 and have had no babies, but I had a couple questions -

How many years of maintenance did it take for you to start feeling like it was hard? Was it just always a struggle?

What is the extent of everyone's planning? Obviously a single person with hours and hours of free time every day has more time to cook and therefore doesn't need to make a menu for the week on Sunday or Monday.

Krampus I plan my meals daily, it takes me about 5 minutes to plan a days menu. My breakfasts and lunches don't vary much so that makes the rest of the day pretty easy, I am not so rigid that if I want to alter something, I do just staying within my calorie allotment. Planning is an absolute must for me, when I don't plan I gain. It is as simple as that.

freelancemomma
04-16-2013, 12:25 PM
Dagmar-- I also have been known to wake up sweaty with the shakes-- I even passed out once after eating large amounts of sugar-- my body just can't handle it.

Wow, it's interesting how we're all different. I've always been able to handle huge amounts of sugar, and I do mean huge, without any symptoms whatsoever. It's been more of a curse than a blessing, because I had no feedback mechanism to prevent me from overindulging in sugar. When I was a kid I would eat my entire pillowcase of Halloween candy in one or at most two evenings. I've had similar sugar-fests as an adult, though I haven't indulged to that extent for a few years.

F.

freelancemomma
04-16-2013, 12:32 PM
One certainly wouldn't ask a recovering alcoholic why having an occasional drink is not compatible with their recovery from alcoholism. The same could be said for certain people who have issues with sugar. There are people, like yourself, who can eat just that one, occasional slice and not trigger a sugar binge. For other people who have problems with sugar, and who weened themselves off of it, having a slice of cheesecake might like the OP deciding to have a drink.

Just to let you know, I wasn't trying to contest the OP's choices, just to understand them.

F.

berryblondeboys
04-16-2013, 12:33 PM
Wow, it's interesting how we're all different. I've always been able to handle huge amounts of sugar, and I do mean huge, without any symptoms whatsoever. It's been more of a curse than a blessing, because I had no feedback mechanism to prevent me from overindulging in sugar. When I was a kid I would eat my entire pillowcase of Halloween candy in one or at most two evenings. I've had similar sugar-fests as an adult, though I haven't indulged to that extent for a few years.

F.

Funny you should mention that - it's so different person to person, for sure.

My MIL yesterday was at IKEA. She bought: 3 milk chocolate bars for the kids, a blueberry syrup for making juice, for the kids, and a pack of cinnamon rolls for the kids.

Now, she had some juice and a cinnamon roll too, but it was 'mostly' for the kids.

The second my sons got home she offered it up to them. Stupid me allowed it.

My older son doesn't have issues with sugar. And, he tends not to be a sugar addict. AND he doesn't get sugar lows or highs and neither does my mother in law.

My younger son had two cinnamon rolls. Then we went to the gym. a 90 minutes later and he was having a full blown hissy fit. Like out of control crying jag and bad behavior. The workers at kidspace who know him were shocked. They had only seen him on good days. and truly, he RARELY has these bad days.

He was bad until I got him to eat some protein and fat rich food at home. Then he leveled his sugars and was fine. He has sugar issues like me. AND he has a tendency to pudge up. Like me. He's going to have to watch his food more carefully forever, like me.

I told my MIL about it this morning and she laughed and said, "Oh, Mladen (kid's great uncle) was like that. Ha. Ha... Not me. I can eat all the sugar I want." No concern for the kid who LOST it last night... just happy she can go on eating sugar to her heart's content. Learned a lesson to not feed my kid sugar? Probably not.

But I learned mine.... he can't handle it. and I have to teach him to watch it.

sacha
04-16-2013, 12:41 PM
I think you guys mean traveling_michele, not me :)

saef
04-16-2013, 05:37 PM
Sacha, yes, it's difficult. I think my life has about four settings:

1) Forgetfulness: Blessed and few are these moments when I'm so absorbed in other stuff that I don't think much about food or habits and just follow my healthy routine and hard-learned good habits. This is one form of happiness for me: I'm preoccupied with my life in a way that's akin to someone working out a puzzle for diversion. This is what they call "flow." I wish I could have this more often.
2) Hard to maintain: The default setting. It's a lot of work. It's mindfulness. It's having to take the long way around and not using all the shortcuts other people seem to be able to use.
3) Painful to maintain: Certain social occasions and times when I'm full of anxiety and uncertainty.
4) White-knuckling through it: When I feel like someone portraying a drug addict going through full withdrawal in a Hollywood movie.

It's not only due to life events, it's my state of mind.

Roo2
04-16-2013, 05:54 PM
Congratulations on your amazing accomplishments .... How close to your maintenance weight have you stayed bedsides of course time out for pregnancies?

I have heard it said repeatedly maintenance is harder then losing weight!

What kept you on track all these years?
And how do you feel about food ? Do you enjoy cooking,baking ...and being near it as a hobby....or are you white knuckled around certain food and don't allow it in your house?
Just curious how everyone else deals with it.

In our house there is a variety of snack food in the frig and freezer.
And a lot of it ....is things I truly have Pigged out in the past!
Thanks for the info , Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

sacha
04-18-2013, 04:04 PM
Thanks everyone! I've had a rotten day and it was nice to see this :D



Congratulations on your amazing accomplishments .... How close to your maintenance weight have you stayed bedsides of course time out for pregnancies?

I have heard it said repeatedly maintenance is harder then losing weight!

What kept you on track all these years?
And how do you feel about food ? Do you enjoy cooking,baking ...and being near it as a hobby....or are you white knuckled around certain food and don't allow it in your house?
Just curious how everyone else deals with it.

In our house there is a variety of snack food in the frig and freezer.
And a lot of it ....is things I truly have Pigged out in the past!
Thanks for the info , Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

Hi Roo

I've always stayed from 118-123 for many years, until pregnancy (of course). I'm 129 right now and currently trying to lose back to 125ish but he's only 5 months old and I'm nursing so I can't be aggressive in my deficit.

Kept on track just from consistency and changing my goal to fitness rather than the scale - I work hard in the gym and it's more incentive to show it off. I bake daily actually! It's one of the fun activities my 3 year old loves, since the weather sucks and I've got the baby too. I generally do not eat what we bake, but I also don't bake junk either. We do apple muffns, cranberry/flax muffins, etc. Applesauce instead of fat or sugar, etc.

But I don't keep "junk" in the house for sure. I don't because I won't be able to control myself over chips (sugar, I can live without) and most of all, my toddler will beg for it! So that makes it easier to say no.