100 lb. Club - Wanna throw a tantrum like I'm 5




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Michelle125
04-09-2013, 11:14 AM
Ok, I'm not a food addict. I don't give in to cravings and I swear off junk food from my house. I'm totally on the organic/health bandwagon and it's a way of life for me and has been for years. However, my own food plan has not been working for me so I hired a nutritionist. She sent me a food plan to follow for Insulin Resistance. It's ALOT of produce. It will not be fun digesting all this roughage. Plus, I think I have issues stemming from my childhood around controlling food. My food was always strictly controlled by my parents and now as an adult, I eat healthy because "I" want to, and not b/c someone else told me to. Since that plan still is not helping my IR, I obviously need outside advice. But just the fact that someone else is telling me what to eat (and to a "T" she said)... I totally want to flip out because I'm no longer in control. The food plan is very restrictive and there is no room for substitutes. I can't even have 1 glass of wine per week on a Friday night. There is not even a 'free' meal.

I can totally restrict myself to this degree on my own.. but now someone else is telling me to, and my childish demons are surfacing. Blah. Anyone else feel that way at times? Mind you, this meal plan is great for my health and there are so many reasons why I should follow it and not stray.


Keep Moving Forward
04-09-2013, 12:35 PM
When I was kid, if one of my parents or grandmother commented on what I was eating "Oh you don't need that," "That's enough ice cream," "No more cookies" that just made me want to eat more to spite them. I definitely hate when someone tells me what to do, especially with food.

What if you tried to mentally reframe this nutritionist situation? She gave you the plan, sure, but it's totally under your control now. You could have the wine, but you're taking control & choosing not to. That kind of thinking helps me out a lot when I want to eat junk because I can't handle feeling like something is off-limits for me. I guess I'm just rebellious like that ;)

Desiderata
04-09-2013, 02:17 PM
Oh, yeah, I totally relate! You can definitely still have these issues when eating organic/having a relatively good diet. I had tons of food restrictions growing up due to health issues (still do), and rebelling from those restrictions in secret is one of my challenges. Though it's a lot better now -- it's v. different (easier) to be the adult choosing my choices - but it can still be hard, even though these are voluntary choices I'm making for my health.

You've got to manage this in a way that works for you, regardless of what your nutritionist says. Your nutritionist may be 100% on point as far as what's ideal for your body, but that doesn't mean she can relate fully to what it takes to keep you in compliance with it. Accept you might fall short here and there of the nutritionist's template, but don't let that keep you from striving towards it as your goal.

Look at it as an experiment. Aim for better, not perfect. And what Rachel said is great advice - try reframing this away from "I CAN'T have it" to "I COULD have it, but I'm choosing not to for right now." Having a mental escape hatch of "it's possible" seems to quiet the tantrum-y part that hates the restriction.


BreathingSpace
04-09-2013, 02:46 PM
Yup, I understand. But that's your ego screaming at you. The ego kicks and screams when it doesn't get what it wants :-)

What you were doing is not working, right? That's why you hired her in the first place. So tell your ego to shut up for a few weeks and try this plan and see how it makes you feel. It may be that you need something restrictive for a bit for whatever reason (don't know, I'm not the nutritionist) and you will have to trust her/him.

I agree with the reframing. You *could* have that glass of wine but you are choosing to set your ego aside, let the nutritionist guide you and see what happens. :-)

Just try and quietly accept this instead of fighting it, it will make it easier. Resisting against something makes it so much harder!

Michelle125
04-10-2013, 02:26 PM
Wow thank you everyone! Such great advice that really hits home.

@BreathingSpace... you are dead on. I have such an ego!!! I'm realizing it drives a lot of what I do. I mean, I did hire her to assess my eating and give me recommendations... then I found myself not wanting to follow what she gave me at all. She is a friend of my parents' so it was sort of like my mom telling me to eat this way and my ego just went crazy. I actually wanted to cry when she sent me the meal plan, it struck such a cord. And what's dumb is that I've totally restricted myself like that before. It was just my decision at the time. ;)

Ok, time to grow up, be a big girl, and do what needs to be done!

bethFromDayton
04-10-2013, 02:31 PM
As others have said, you actually DO control this. You decided to seek out help. You decide to follow the plan that help gave you. She isn't telling you what to do--you are deciding.

One doesn't want to consider a person as a 'tool', but in a sense she is--another tool in your arsenal to get healthier. If that tool was a book, it might feel different to you--she is an expert giving nutritional guidance, not a controller in your life.

So, if any of these thoughts were helpful, that's good. Please ignore any that don't resonate with you!

Michelle125
04-10-2013, 02:50 PM
@Beth- you are right. I was seeing her as a controller! But in reality I can choose to stop paying her and never use her again.

BreathingSpace
04-10-2013, 08:41 PM
Wow thank you everyone! Such great advice that really hits home.

@BreathingSpace... you are dead on. I have such an ego!!! I'm realizing it drives a lot of what I do. I mean, I did hire her to assess my eating and give me recommendations... then I found myself not wanting to follow what she gave me at all. She is a friend of my parents' so it was sort of like my mom telling me to eat this way and my ego just went crazy. I actually wanted to cry when she sent me the meal plan, it struck such a cord. And what's dumb is that I've totally restricted myself like that before. It was just my decision at the time. ;)

Ok, time to grow up, be a big girl, and do what needs to be done!

I have a huge ego too, I think we all have that part of us. There was a quote I read that really spoke to me about ego:

"The ego speaks first because it speaks loudest. The ego needs to speak loudly in order to seem real. Your internal teacher (your inner wisdom) is a soft, honest whisper. It whispers because it is truth, and truth is gentle and honest."

:-)

Michelle125
04-12-2013, 08:55 AM
*update* been on the food plan for 3 days and I feel really good and in control! Lost 3lbs, too. Thanks for the advice everyone :) It really helped. I am now more aware of my ego in all areas of my life, too!

lunarsongbird
04-12-2013, 10:47 AM
Oh- I was also reading yesterday and came across a passage that reminded me of this thread. Let me find it...
It's out of Intuitive Eating: http://www.amazon.com/Intuitive-Eating-Edition-Evelyn-Tribole/dp/1250004047/

"One Problem we've seen with our chronic dieters is that they've been 'veggied out.' For example, nearly every diet regiment prescribes celery and carrot sticks as the safe and approved snack of choice. If that's your case, ask yourself how can you incorporate vegetables (and fruit) in a manner that's pleasing and does not smack of a weight loss diet, such as adding grated carrots to a favorite pasta sauce."

For me...it's all about the pleasure. In fact- I started an entire pinterest account dedicated to pleasing foods.

What do you think of my veggie/salad board so far?
http://pinterest.com/cofinchfamily/vegetablessalads/

charliee
04-12-2013, 11:18 AM
Congrats on the loss Michelle! When it's working it's easier to get over your frustrations right? :)

Lunar, I love it! The fried cheese with the arugula from edamam is like my favourite ever!