Calorie Counters - Failing when setting goals




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kmac1196
04-09-2013, 08:31 AM
Ok....every time I set a goal regarding weight loss/exercise I fail miserable. If I don't set a goal, and just keep plugging along, I'm good. For instance, I got to 210 right before Christmas...39 lbs down. I wanted to hit 40 by then but didn't. That's ok. Then, I had a cruise in Feb so I wanted to be under 200 before I went. Completely, doable...but I didn't...in fact....I went way off the other way. Then I come back and take off the cruise weight and say...well, I have a dr's appt for my yearly physical at the end of April, I'd love for them to see me down 40 lbs. Well, once again....so far off the track. Now I am down only 22.8 lbs (which really means I've gained 16.2 lbs). So, why? I'm certain it's psychological. But what do I do about it? Anyone else have this problem? The usual motivators don't seem to work on me. I think this is what happened when I got down to 146 in 2005 and then gained back up again. If I don't fix it....I'll forever be in this cycle. Lose, gain, lose, gain...........


scout83
04-09-2013, 11:30 AM
I totally know what you mean. Often in the back of my head, I'll think something like, "Oh, I want to be down 30 pounds by my birthday" or "I need to be down 25 by vacation." I've stopped (or am trying to stop) articulating these goals by dates and pounds. Yes, I'm monitoring my weight in pounds, but I'm no longer saying "Lose __lbs by___date!" I find I'm healthier when I say/think things like, "Focus on water intake" or "Find a late afternoon snack that works" or "Hit your veggie goals." It takes away some of that guilt (and ensuing pig-out) that comes from failing a somewhat arbitrary goal. My weight loss isn't on a schedule anymore. Health is health.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-09-2013, 07:42 PM
well why are you gaining weight on the cruise? dieting isn't about losing weight then going back to eating fried chicken and chocolate cake, it's about changing your diet for LIFE. and don't most cruise ships have a gym, too? so if you DO want to have something extravagant, calculate the calories, and go to the cruise gym and burn them off!


seagirl
04-09-2013, 08:34 PM
I find setting behavior goals rather than results goals better for me, since I control 100% of my behavior, and the scale will do what it will.

So, rather than saying "I'll lose 20 pounds by a certain day" I say "I'll stick to my calories 100% of the time, I'll exercise x number of days a week, I'll eat 3 veggies per day."

That way if I go on vacation or have a night out, I still have my "goals" that I can meet that day.

Make your goal "stay on plan 100%" or "Be able to show my doctor a full month of my food journal and exercise journal," or "walk in a charity 5K."

jefferzzzz
04-09-2013, 09:08 PM
well why are you gaining weight on the cruise? dieting isn't about losing weight then going back to eating fried chicken and chocolate cake, it's about changing your diet for LIFE. and don't most cruise ships have a gym, too? so if you DO want to have something extravagant, calculate the calories, and go to the cruise gym and burn them off!


I wish this site had a "Like" button for this post... Very well put!! :)

Novus
04-09-2013, 09:24 PM
Weight loss is all about creating a whole new life. You have to learn to eat healthy. You have to learn to think differently about food. You have to learn how to incorporate exercise into your daily routine. THESE should be your goals. And then the pounds will disappear and you will become a thinner healthier you.

newleaf123
04-09-2013, 09:28 PM
If you lose weight just fine when you don't set goals, then the answer seems to be: don't set goals. Just keep plugging along, one foot after another. Just because goals work for other people doesn't mean that using them is the mandatory approach.

I say, go back to what you were doing when you lost the first 39.

The fact that you gained a little on vacation is completely understandable to me. Most people gain a little on vacation. Heck, I just trekked 80 miles in 6 days through mountainous terrain on vacation 2 weeks ago and only lost 2 pounds. The important thing isn't putting on a couple of pounds when you are away; it's how you respond after the vacation; you need to just get right back to it...

But all is not lost. Just get back to it now. You know how to lose the weight, so just go back to what worked before.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-10-2013, 01:15 AM
I wish this site had a "Like" button for this post... Very well put!! :)

lol thank you! a lot of people fail at dieting because they stop drinking soda and eating cake, then once they get to their goal weight they think "i'm trhin, i can eat whatever i want now~!" and i've seen this happen. my late stepmother weighed about 400ish pounds and decided to go to weight watchers (this was back in like 2001). she lost 80 pounds. got excited. started cheating on her diet. suddenly, she had gained 120. that means she gained back the weight she lost AND added on 40 pounds! you can't just force-feed yourself veggies to lose weight fast, you need to actually learn about proper nutrition and good calories vs empty calories (150 calories for 1 slice toast with 1 tbsp preserves on them = good calories, 190 calories for half a packet of ramen = empty calories). and vitamins are very important! no, i'm not talking about pills, i'm talking about EATING and DRINKING food with nutrients in them! i personally drink v8 on days i don't have any vegetables, and when i have chocolate cravings i go for a carnation breakfast drink because it is LOADED with vitamins. plus i cut out high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup solids, aspartame, gelatin, and 90% of sugar. i'll still have a sugary soda every so often and i still eat normal chocolate made with sugar, but when it comes to making my cooked berries or sweetening my coffee/tea, i use agave nectar. however, i don't eat totally clean. i have bacon nearly every day. so how am i losing weight while eating bacon? i only eat 1-2 slices in one day. AND i dab the grease off. the other day i had a piece of fried chicken, yet i still lost weight. why? because i still made sure not to go over my calories. dieting should be a learning experience, and anyone having trouble dieting should read Nutrition for Dummies. it is very interesting.

kmac1196
04-23-2013, 07:47 AM
Thanks all for your input. I'm rededicated and going forward. I know its a mental thing. I'm working on it. One day at a time.

L J
04-23-2013, 09:36 AM
Sounds like you are going at this in a way that must be too extreme, if you are falling off the wagon so to speak. What is your plan, when you are on plan? How many calories do you eat? Do you have any macro goals? Do you exercise? Tell us more about what you are doing and maybe we can make some helpful suggestions based on what has worked for us.

patns
04-23-2013, 11:32 AM
I find setting behavior goals rather than results goals better for me, since I control 100% of my behavior, and the scale will do what it will.

So, rather than saying "I'll lose 20 pounds by a certain day" I say "I'll stick to my calories 100% of the time, I'll exercise x number of days a week, I'll eat 3 veggies per day."

That way if I go on vacation or have a night out, I still have my "goals" that I can meet that day.

Make your goal "stay on plan 100%" or "Be able to show my doctor a full month of my food journal and exercise journal," or "walk in a charity 5K."

I was going to say much the same thing. The trouble in setting a goal of X pounds by a certain date is not a goal you can control. Your body will react in its own way. Your goals have to be action goals such as the ones listed in this post because they become life changing habits.That is the part that is under your control.

kmac1196
04-24-2013, 07:14 AM
Sounds like you are going at this in a way that must be too extreme, if you are falling off the wagon so to speak. What is your plan, when you are on plan? How many calories do you eat? Do you have any macro goals? Do you exercise? Tell us more about what you are doing and maybe we can make some helpful suggestions based on what has worked for us.

Nothing extreme. From August to December last year I found my groove. Calorie counting. Fitting in a nice dinner date night with dh once a week. Exercise 1 hour everyday (including weight lifting). Even lost weight over Thanksgiving. Ok through Christmas. Then I had a cruise in February and I started running numbers of what I could be if I lost at the rate I had been losing doing the same thing....then BAM. Then I came home and thought ok...I have a dr's apt in April...I can still be down xx by then. Then bam. It's like there is a disconnect with setting those types of goals for me that make me throw it all away. What didn't help also, is that my husband and I do this together and he lost his way, too. And also, no excuses...I know I need to navigate my way anyway, he has a rare, serious, congenital, degenerative heart defect. And we had some stuff go on early in the year. Still going on. Sometimes it's overwhelming. And anyone who has ever dealt with a terminal situation, knows that there isn't always time to think about/worry about yourself. I know there is a difference between missing workouts and quitting all together. I know I need to do the work to get there. I am. So for now, I am just back to easy goals. Walk for 1 hour a day this week, stick to calorie goals this week, more fruits and veggies this week, no salt (high blood pressure scare). That's what I can control this week. Thanks for the input.

kmac1196
04-24-2013, 07:15 AM
I was going to say much the same thing. The trouble in setting a goal of X pounds by a certain date is not a goal you can control. Your body will react in its own way. Your goals have to be action goals such as the ones listed in this post because they become life changing habits.That is the part that is under your control.



Yes! I'm a slow learner. ;)

kmac1196
04-29-2013, 08:17 AM
Thought I'd update! One week down. I chose 3 goals. No salt. Walk 1 hr a day. Stay within my calorie limits. Made all three goals. Will weigh in in a half hour but I can't control the number on my scale. I've met the 3 goals and feel good. In control again and on my way. This weeks goals are no salt. Weights M.W.F. (walk to make up a full hour) C25K T, Thu, Sat. (walk to make up a full hour), and Sunday 1 hour walk. Stay within cal. limit. I feel frustrated that I gained 17.8 lbs back but happy that I caught it before I gained it all back and then some. That's better then I've done in the past so I'm learning. Now I will work on not stopping.