Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Anyone up for some whine and cheese? (Calf related rant)




flashfacts
03-25-2013, 02:00 AM
Ugh, I almost feel bad for posting this, but I know reading other people's rants has been cathartic for me, so maybe writing one will too.

I'm just so frustrated by my calves :(

I went shopping today and tried on several dresses and skirts. I'm at the point that I think I look pretty awesome in a some clothes and I was able to find things I liked, which is amazing. But the second I looked past where the dresses stopped I got sad and frustrated again. I still carry a decent amount of weight in my calves (15.5 in circumference and I can pinch a good amount of fat in the area between my ankle and calf muscle) and I'm so self-conscious about them :(

I know a big part of this is just a mental block, and I don't think negative things about other women's bodies, but I guess I assume the worst about what others are thinking. For example, we talk about working-out at work a decent amount, and one of the men asked me what I do a while ago. When I mentioned that I'm getting into lifting heavy he said something to the effect of not being surprised because of my calves (which he's only seen through straight leg jeans). I know he didn't mean anything bad by it and he thought that they must be muscular, but I know they aren't. I remember getting that sort of comment when I was younger and was about this weight, so I know that at least some people notice their size. I guess I just never want to give people the opportunity to actually see them and show that they aren't mostly muscle. On the other hand, I hate that I'm avoiding things that I like/enjoy (knee length dresses) over something that seems so trivial. I mean, I feel like I should be able to say "who care's what they think!" but I do care and I know that I would be uncomfortable showing my calves in public right now.

I'm hoping that they will lean out some more with exercise and losing the last little bit of weight (they've already gone down from 16 in over the last 5 or so pounds), but I'm still a little disappointed in myself that I feel like I need to wait.


Jez
03-25-2013, 02:02 AM
I have broad shoulders. I can't diet that down. We is what we is. :-/

flashfacts
03-25-2013, 02:15 AM
Haha, Jez, short and sweet. And you are right of course.

I guess I have to accept that I have more mental work left to do then I thought and this is just the last in string of things reminding me of that. Hopefully actually writing something down will help me actually do that.


Cattails
03-25-2013, 04:34 AM
I just saw this on somebody else's post; maybe you'll like it as much as I did. :hug:

Be your own kind of beautiful.

Changergirl
03-25-2013, 04:48 AM
Hey.

This isn't helpful at all, but I was wondering if you knew how big your calves were at their biggest. Mine are currently 17.5 and they were 18 at their biggest, about 30 pounds ago. I'm just wondering if there is any hope for getting them even down to your size!

elvislover324
03-25-2013, 07:27 AM
I have big calves too. They look so much better when I wear heels with my skirts and dresses. Try not to let them stop you from wearing what you want to!

flashfacts
03-25-2013, 09:59 AM
Thanks guys :hug: And Elvislover, you are probably right about heels helping. I should find some I can wear with jeans and dresses and wear them the next time I go shopping.

Changergirl, I looked back at my old measurements and sorry but I don't have any for my calves. I do know they have gone down though. I know that my thighs have gone from 33 to 22 and I don't remember my calves looking disproportionately small then, so I'm sure I've lost inches there too.

(And it just occurred to me, but the widest part of my belly is now smaller then one of my thighs where. I'm...going to have to process that.)

LRH
03-25-2013, 10:07 AM
My calves are "shapely." They are not straight and they never will be. It's **** trying to find boots that fit and I will never get into stick-straight jeans. But you know what? That's okay. I look good in a lot of other things. I think what that man said to you really mattered on some level and you are carrying it with you. Let it go and love the things about yourself that make you YOU. It's a gradual process of learning to accept, but well worth it.

586
03-26-2013, 05:13 PM
I used ot get noticed for my musclular calves as a teen - and I acquired them from walking and running. Then I got big and my calves were annoying and fashionkillers. Now They are back to a reasonable size and I still have that "Are they too big compared to hers, or his, or theirs?"

I just judge it on "Can I wear those stockings, boots, jeans". I just gave up the comparison thing, which isn't easy. The mind is a mean place, sometimes.

That others are noticing your fitness in respect to the muscles showing in your calf area - this is not a negative! That someone asked how you did it - a total compliment! :)