100 lb. Club - This was a first...




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elvislover324
03-24-2013, 05:14 PM
My husband and I went to dinner with friends the other night and we hadn't seen them since I lost all of my weight. The last time I saw them I was so embarrassed as I have known them for so long and really had let myself go over the last couple of years.

To be honest, if I hadn't lost this weight in the past 8 months I probably would have found a reason to decline the invite. I get awful anxiety worrying about where we are seated (such as a booth), making a fattening choice off the menu, declining dessert even though my appearance always suggested the answer would be an automatic yes. You get the picture. :)

So after getting compliments from my friends that I looked really good (no specific reference to weight but they already knew I was sensitive about it in the past), I was quite happy and felt really confident in myself that night (regardless of them, I mean I loved my outfit and my hair cooperated, etc.).

Then it happens...my girlfriend goes into this big song and dance about her unhealthy eating, how she eats so bad because of her work schedule, doesn't make the right choices, goes out too much, etc. etc.!!! I had noticed she gained a couple of pounds but who am I to ever ever judge anyone?! I would never say anything esp. knowing how easy it is to gain weight and then so hard to try to get it off, plus trying to make the right choices can be so hard. And, I still have so much left to lose.

I just felt so accomplished for once (or maybe accomplished isn't the right word)...but I never had anyone justify their weight to me as I was always the biggest one around lately. I didn't say too much, more nodding than anything. I didn't know what to say without sounding preachy things like "My nutritionist says...." or "My doctor told me....". I just let her get the feelings off her chest and then...wait for it...she placed an order for nachos for the table. I didn't eat ONE, no way no how. They looked good, my size 16 jeans looked better (to me!).


rodeogirl
03-24-2013, 05:19 PM
Elvis - you always have the best stories! Way to stay strong and be a good example. If she wants to she'll reach out.

The one thing I ALWAYS tell people is that 3FC is amazing and they should check it out. :)

traci in training
03-24-2013, 05:23 PM
You go, girl! Way to not follow! Isn't it awesome to feel so in control? :carrot:


Tziri
03-24-2013, 05:26 PM
Congrats!
I always tell people about 3FC now too! I feel weird about advising anything else.

L J
03-24-2013, 05:26 PM
I love reading your posts. You seem to articulate so well what I imagine a lot of us have felt, or will. Congratulations on your self control both in not saying the wrong thing and the nachos. I can imagine it felt amazing to see them after not seeing them for so long, and look so good!

pixiefalls
03-24-2013, 05:43 PM
Yay, way to go!! Nachos are a toughy, but I bet those jeans do feel way better! And good for you on just listening to your friend. Sometimes all people need is an ear to listen and a shoulder for strength. :)

lunarsongbird
03-24-2013, 06:04 PM
Awesome, Awesome, Awesome!!

Good for you!!
http://funnygasm.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Whos-Awesome.jpg

elvislover324
03-24-2013, 06:10 PM
Thanks ladies!!!

If I haven't had a nacho yet (or a chip or a pizza or a chicken wing!) I am not going to start now!

And for my friend, I am so glad I did keep quiet (that's probably more amazing than skipping the nachos!). It probably helped that I was only drinking sparkling water and everyone else was having a few drinks. I wouldn't have said anything mean, I just know I would have been more "helpful" with my volunteering advice than I would need to be. I surely don't want to come off as a weightloss know-it-all now that I lost a few pounds.

I just found it interesting that she was almost confessing to me that she gained weight only because I lost weight. Weightloss does funny things to people, both the losers and the observers! :)

lunarsongbird
03-24-2013, 06:29 PM
Elvis, You're my weight loss expert. LOL. You've lost nearly 120 pounds!! 120 POUNDS! That is MORE then a few pounds! Haha. It's exceptional. SO FANTASTIC.

But you're right on about how people react when you start losing weight. It's like they feel guilty about their decisions in your presence. I have someone telling me they are being "so bad" like....every day at work now. It's interesting. I wonder why it makes them feel better.

elvislover324
03-24-2013, 06:38 PM
Aww, thanks Lunar. I stare at the number sometimes thinking I lost a person. Not a baby or a child but a small woman or man!! And wait til I am at goal, that will be more mind-boggling!

You are so right, it makes them feel better somehow to confess to us. But then she turned around and ordered nachos!! I just thought it was funny. If one of the husbands had done it, it wouldn't have fazed me. Hope they were worth the calories!! (It's amazing how my mindset has changed, this time last year I would have been the one suggesting the nachos and something else to go with it!)

pixiefalls
03-24-2013, 07:42 PM
Elvis, You're my weight loss expert. LOL. You've lost nearly 120 pounds!! 120 POUNDS! That is MORE then a few pounds! Haha. It's exceptional. SO FANTASTIC.

Very well said! You have done FABULOUS! :cool:

Misti in Seattle
03-24-2013, 09:20 PM
Way to go and glad you didn't let those nachos get in the way of your being able to wear those jeans!

I always recommend 3FC too when people express concern about their weight.

IanG
03-24-2013, 09:22 PM
Your size 16 jeans look better to me too ;)!

I'm always getting nachos pulled on me. I try to ignore them. The good thing about nachos is that everyone else tends to tuck in so no-one notices that you are not! Good camouflage.

Mozzy
03-24-2013, 11:09 PM
Way to go and glad you didn't let those nachos get in the way of your being able to wear those jeans!

I always recommend 3FC too when people express concern about their weight.

This^^

Great job on your weight loss and good for you for not being "preachy".

Hugs

Fit dad 2b
03-24-2013, 11:51 PM
That's so great - it must have felt wonderful! Look at how you're riding this good feeling - it's lasting a lot longer than the pleasure you would have gotten from the nachos!

Jez
03-24-2013, 11:59 PM
Man, I love nachos. And I understand declining invites because I'm too heavy. Half of my life is a small community (cultural, not physical living-in community) where I get to hear "Wow, you got fat!" when seeing someone for the first time in a while. I know it's true, but I don't want or need to hear it, so I avoid a lot of situations. Good job, you!

betsy2013
03-25-2013, 11:44 AM
Wow, what a great story. I told my doctor about 3FC and the fact that it's finally given me the kind of support that I need. She has advised me on using myfitnesspal and to look into Sugar Busters (one of the many diets I tried before realizing that I needed to change my eating HABITS), but she kind of blew off telling patients about an online support forum. We've talked about society thinking it's ok to be bigoted about fat people. Doctors are just as prejudiced sometimes in their own way.

BreathingSpace
03-25-2013, 02:18 PM
But you're right on about how people react when you start losing weight. It's like they feel guilty about their decisions in your presence. I have someone telling me they are being "so bad" like....every day at work now. It's interesting. I wonder why it makes them feel better.

It's probably because they deem you "safe" to talk about it with and they know, because you are going through or have gone through it, that you won't judge.

Most of the time people just want to talk - in a safe, supported, nonjudgemental setting :-)