Support Groups - You're BEAUTIFUL! Fashion and Image Issues for US!

03-08-2001, 10:31 PM
Hello! I just wanted to see if anyone would be interested in this topic as
a group. I'm a college student and yes, I'm overweight. I thought it would
be helpful to start a group discussion for fashion issues, image, anything
related to overweight men and women and their bodies.

Even though I'm overweight, I enjoy fashion, like to shop and look good,
because I do! Don't let anyone think you don't! It's all in your mind and
your stride!

If anyone has anything to share including stories about living on campus, or
in everyday life, body image, self esteem, etc, please share! I hope this works
out and that we can all post regularly!

205/200/150 ... Only 50 little stinkers to go!

03-09-2001, 12:16 AM
I love that you started this thread! I too love to look good, and I made a pact with myself that I would do SOME make-up in the morning, even though I work in a lab and hardly anyone sees me. I find that spending the 3-5 minutes to put on a little lipstick and eyeliner will determine if I have a good self-esteem day. Amazing, eh?

I took me a while to be ok with my body. I do love my body and the changes that have come with a 50 pound weight loss. I worked at Lane Bryant for a brief stint and used my discount to buy nice Fall things. I got a lot of compliments.

There are days, however, that I obsess about the fine line of loving your body and knowing that the body could be a little bit better. I do love to dress up, but I really don't work in an environment where I can do that. I live for departmental socials! :)

Do you know what I love to buy? Nice underwear. It's something I like to do every 3-4 months. It makes me feel really good underneath, no matter if I am wearing jeans and a sweater that day.

Thanks for posting this. I think I will be painting my nails tonight (something girly that I rarely do), but it also makes me feel good.


03-09-2001, 05:55 PM
This is an interesting topic for me especially because I think I have given up on looking good. I used to buy fashion and other women's magazines regularly (this is going back about a dozen years) now then I come across the clothes and cosmetic articles in any magazine I happen to be reading I just flip right past them. I haven't owned any really nice clothes in years. I work as a nurse so I have my work uniforms, a few pairs of sweat pants, one pair of jeans and one pair of all purpose dressy looking stirrup pants. I haven't owned a nice dress in I don't know how long. I guess I fell into the 'I'll buy nice clothes when I lose the weight' rut. Also I despise clothes shopping. It always works out that I can't find affordable plus size clothes or they look revolting. Now I am pregnant and I think this is going to be an only child so I don't want to go nuts buying a whole lot of maternity clothes. I'll have to buy some larger sized work clothes but I don't know what else I should get. I don't want to shlepp around in sweat pants all summer! Oh well it is a dilemna.

Big Sal
03-09-2001, 06:12 PM
I can relate to Jen. I used to spend hours looking at clothes, making clothes, buying outsize second hand clothes & rejuvenating them into something bordering on the current fashion, usually adding some unique twist of my own. They would be shorter, longer, embriodied. But now I just keep saying I'll wait until I lose the weight & splash out !!

I have recently come down a dress size & have found that charity/ second hand clothes shop have cheap bargains in my new size. So I love browsing round them looking for bargains. My kids don't think it is such a great past time though.

I don't think I'll ever be a complete slave to fashion again, (don't have the money any more) but I like to keep up to date & would like to keep my look trendy if not bang up to date. I need all the help I can get on this front as I have spent the last 5 years in black leggings & large t shirts. My oldest is nearly 6 and don't think he sees in me in anything different apart form work clothes.

Over here the larger sizes tend to be expensive, hence my love of second hand shops. You would be amazed what some people throw away.

03-09-2001, 09:26 PM
I'm so excited that you ladies replied!

You know what a problem is? These magazines! Don't you get sick of looking like
these women...when only 3% of women in the US really look like that...and it's
not because they exercise or work at it...usually, it's just heredity!

Sometimes I feel like I can't wear a shorter skirt because I'll feel ugly...and
that maybe other people might think that I have some sort of ego...but
hey, why not? We can all look wonderful! All that matters is to ourselves, right?
Now, I'm not saying to dress past your wearing things that are
too tight for what you can wear, etc...we've all see that on the streets...but
we all have SOMETHING about our bodies that we're proud of. Grab a MODE
magazine from Lane Bryant and see all types of models, with rolls and tummies
and big leggs....I was in LB last week and they have a TV set in there playing
a tape of the Lane Bryant LINGERIE SHOW!!! RESSEY, you should see it!
These big, beautiful women, with shaking bootys and large legs walking down
the runway while people are cheering. It was great.

I love underwear too...especially when it matches my PJs! It makes me feel
great and my BF loves it!

SAL and JEN: I'm pretty broke myself...but I love clothes...Lane Bryant has
things that can get pretty pricey, but when they have sales it's great.
My local store has been having a 70% off section for a while including lots
of UNDERWEAR! Including string bikinis and thongs, YES THONGS!
Just check it out once in a while to see.

It's really hard for me to find good clothes that fit...I wear 14/16. Places like
LB and other plus-size clothing stores seem to think that larger gals like to wear
their pants up to their I do like stores like the Gap. Did you all know
that the Gap sells sizes 18 and 20 and carry tops in XXL for women
at their website? I can usually wear a Gap 16 pants, but out of curiosity I
ordered a pair of 18's online (they were $6.99 on SALE). They are very loose
in the waist, but fit my booty okay. Plus, the pants come in X-short through X-tall
so they have a great range and great fit!

Anyway, I've written a book....lemme know what's new with all of you. If
you do post again and feel comfy, I suggest posting your highest/current/goal
weights or sizes so we all get a feel for each other and can share tips!

205/200/150 - a muscular 5'4

Big Sal
03-10-2001, 10:20 AM
I didn't know Gap did larger sizes - I'll be in their website shortly.

My underwear is a disgrace & it's just as well nobody every gets to see it - except hubby that is. It's another thing I keep putting of buying until I've lost the weight. I did buy a new bra, but it is too tight round my back - making it my inspirational piece of clothing - I try it on once a week & see if it fits any better. It is getting there.

I know all about your short skirt problem - I feel my knees are too chunky. But everyday I see other people making much worse mistakes - so why don't I just get on with it???

Am also 5' 4" - still working on the muscular bit

03-10-2001, 12:54 PM
Hi girls! I'm stuck in that nowoman's land between the plus sizes and the regular size stores. I guess I have two options...get smaller or get bigger. :D I'm hoping for the get smaller option. I'm wearing a size 15/16, which is almost impossible to find in most of the stores...they bring in ONE if you're lucky...but the smallest size 14 in the plus stores swims on me. *sigh*

Luckily, my office dress code is casual...even jeans if I want, but no sweatshirts or torn jeans, etc. I have discovered Mark's Work Wearhouse. I'm in Canada...not sure if they are in the States or not. They carry several styles of casual and dress pants and jeans in sizes up to 24 and they fit like a glove! (not to mention those wrinkle free pants!)I don't know who's responsible, but they are genius! Reasonable prices too...avg. $40 CDN for a pair of jeans or pants. They also carry casual clothes like sweaters, tops, t-shirts in sizes up to XXL.

Now, if I could only get a decent haircut....but that's another story....

03-10-2001, 12:57 PM
I am currently 218lbs and probably on my way up a bit due to the pregnancy.

My undies are also in a sad state. I recently bought some undies that actually fit, sad to say what size they are. Have you ever seen that movie with Kevin Bacon, I think it is called She's Having A Baby, where he is folding underwear and in the first scene he's got this cute sexy little pair that would fit Calista Flockhart and in the next he's got this huge pair, that is about the size I am wearing. I only have 2 bras as well, they are the pullover sport kind. Can't remember when I last had a lacy, sexy bra.

I know that I shouldn't feel this way, I still feel like I should just wait to buy some nice clothes (if I still know what nice clothes are) until I have the baby and lose some weight. I refuse to spend a lot of money on plus size clothes that look awful anyway. It is awful how clothes stores can charge more for plus size clothes that look horrid. Maybe it is just me, I can't look at anything that is plus sized and find anything good about them.

03-10-2001, 02:07 PM

I understand you not wanting to buy a new wardrobe when your body is changing, but I think one piece of clothing--a new shirt or new bra, is a terrific way to make you feel great and reward yourself.

I used to reward myself with food, so spending a few more bucks more was hard, but worth it when I went to work and someone said "is that new? You look great"

Congrats on your pregnancy. I know some women go through some serious emotional rollercoasters (my best friend did), so to cheer her up, I would buy her nice little things that you can find at Target or Wal-Mart. A nice purse or make-up, etc. since she was fluctuating big time with the baby. Perhaps if you want to hold off, you can buy yourself something small like that.

Big Sal--make sure you get measured for a bra. DId you know that almost 75% of all women wear the wrong size? BUT, I do hope you make it into that other one real soon!

There was a thread on one of these boards a while back that mentioned the sacrifices that women make for their families and careers. Most of it was the attention we spent on ourselves. How can we expect people to look at us with admiration and desire if we don't take a little bit of time to do the things that make us feel good? For me and girlie, it's dressing nice and it can be something completely different for Sal and Jen and Wildfire. Think about that today. What small thing can you do completely for yourself that would make you happy, passing the happiness to your family?

P.S. Jen--there's nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman--think about that today! :)


03-11-2001, 10:55 AM
Ressey, you are so right! For me, I make sure I get at least 1/2 an hour every day just for me. I listen to music with the headphones on, sometimes with a facial mask applied, sometimes I paint my nails...whatever I need that day. Also, once a week I do a total pedicure...I have a Dr. Scholls foot bath with the aerating's heaven! I have very dry skin and my heels will crack if I don't pay attention to them, so it's become a weekly ritual for me. I usually do that on Sunday evenings....and it's an hour I look forward to all day. I put those headphones on and soak my piggies for 20 minutes while the rest of the world just disappears. I have a basket with all the goodies...pumice stone, this wonderful foot scrub from the Body Shop, lavender foot cream, peppermint foot cream, funky nail polish, even cotton booties to wear while the creams do their work! Sure, no one but my hubby and the cats see my perfectly manicured toes all winter, but it's something I do for myself.

So, even you gals who aren't ready to spend on clothes just yet can find something you can do that will make you feel good about yourself, and that will carry over to other areas of your life.

Jen, congrats on your pregnancy! Why don't you treat yourself to a great pair of lounging pyjamas that have a little room to grow? Pamper yourself with a great scented bath and some luxurious body lotion and slip into those pj's!

I'm really trying to accept myself as I am now and along the way during my weight loss, rather than focusing on what I'll be like at goal, which is still months away for me. I've always felt inferior because of my clothing size, but I'm now realizing that a lot of thin people that I know are far more inferior in their characters than I am because of my size. Food for thought. (calorie-free!:D)

03-11-2001, 11:16 PM
Well, ladies, you all sound like you're doing well!

I understand what you mean when you say you want to wait to get new clothes and things...mostly because of money...just
make sure you're not doing it because you don't think you
deserve it or think you won't really look good!

Or yes, just do a little something for yourself. For me,
sometimes, it's either eating or shopping - they both make
me feel good. But, I'd rather spend some money one day
rather than gorge on food. Then, go home and feel good
in a new pair of pants or a secret new bra that no one
knows about! Or even a new hair thingie.

I think the fun parts will be shopping for more when I drop
a size or two. Honestly, my ideal size is a 10/12. My best
girl is that size and she looks perfectly proportioned and
great!We're both 5'4, but I don't know...big boned or
whatever you want to call it. When I graduated from high
school I was a healthy, muscular 160 pounds in a size 13/14.

I have a real headache and need to finish this ad campaign
for class...I cooked dinner for my boyfriend's family today
and it was really nice.

Thank you all for joining. I hope you all learn a lot.

I hope you all had a great weekend.


03-12-2001, 08:45 PM
So, ladies...

what did you do for yourselves TODAY???

I got a new washer and dryer! No, it wasn't spur of the moment. I really needed
them! Yay!

Otherwise, I dropped one of my classes (too much stress!) and am going to the
gym tonite to say hello to my elliptical machine! You guys every try one? It's
great low impact cardio! I'm going to try for at least 45-60 minutes.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

03-12-2001, 09:32 PM
Hi everybody- I was just scanning around the boards and this is a great thread!! Way to start such a fun topic. I love the comments about being at an "in-between size" and I agree about LB pants- what's up with those waistbands being so high? Gosh you could almost wear them as a tube top/pants combo! Anyway I just wanted to tell everyone how good you made me feel when I read all the posts. I'm still smiling! Hope everybody has a great week!

just gettin' started :cool:

03-12-2001, 09:35 PM
Yes, we use it to help measure our health, etc, but
I think we should all remember that the number can't
be the source of our "happiness". I don't know why
I started preaching, but I was just thinking about it.

I had a friend who was 5'5 and weighed about 135
pounds..I think she was in a size 6...and she was still
so focused on the number rather than her general
happiness and the way she looked and felt. I think
her true goal was like 120 pounds or something,
and it just seemed so ridiculous to me because she
looked great. I just think it's so strange that
after a while it became an obsession, which it
shouldn't have been.

When I went to my first WW meeting, they told me
that my WW goal weight was 134 for my height. Now,
I haven't been that weight since I was in 8th grade and
I don't plan to get that low. With my muscular frame,
I don't even think I'd look right. In high school, I was a
in track and field, toned, and 160 pounds in a size 12
which was great for me. So, I set my ultimate goal to
150 pounds (I'm 5'4).

Maybe I'm just frustrated or something, but I mean,
I'm in this for health mostly...I think my friend told me
that I'd be different once I started getting closer to my
goal. Maybe. Anyway..what do you think?

me that when I

03-14-2001, 11:19 AM
Hey, Girlie....I have plenty of laundry to be done if you want to give that new washer/dryer a test drive! :D As far as the whole number game, I'm aiming for 150 lbs but I'm only using it as a measure of how far I'm come (or still have to go!). It's not a 'set-in-stone' thing for me...I'll know when I reach a size I'm happy with. I'm 5'8", so that size 12 I want to get back into might be 160lbs....I won't know until I get there.

I have a hair appointment today with Carmen...a fabulous hairdresser in the next city, and I booked a manicure while I'm there. So I'm spending the afternoon on ME! :) That decent hair cut I've been longing for may just come true today!

Big Sal
03-14-2001, 05:10 PM
I could do with a decent hair cut - I'm trying to grow mine - but it has been at that in between sticking out stage for a few months now. Hopefully it'll settle soon.

I've been feeling under the weather for the last few days so noting has got done in my house, so Girly I too have pile of laundry you can do for me - will I just courier it across ???

I've been back at work today - dead exicting - but my skirt does feel a bit looser. It's a size 22 (UK sizes) think thats a 20 in Amercian sizes. I am seeing some changes. Will be scouring the shops looking for a 'disco' outfit on Saturday, my son will be 6 on the 25th & is having a birthday disco. I want somethig decent to wear so I can try not to show him up. My dancing will show him up heaps enough - cause I'm going there to enjoy myself not to stand at the side & watch him & his pals.

Gotta go do some of that washing.

03-14-2001, 05:50 PM

Do you have Lane Bryant there? That would be a great place for you
to find a swingin' outfit!

Let me know what you find! I'm really interested! If you do have a LB there,
sign up for the credit card. You can pay off your account as soon as you
get the bill, but then they send monthly savings coupons so you can get
yourself a kicka** new outfit once you get to size 18US!!!! Good for
you that your skirt was loose! Doesn't it feel good?

Actually, I haven't even TOUCHED the washer and dryer!I bought my house
with my boyfriend and he likes to do laundry! I haven't done laundry since
August! I wanted to do a load, but by the time I got home from work,
it was all done! Sounds great doesn't it? But he won't TOUCH dishes!
Ha! :) How is your hair?! I wish I could go see Carmen too! I really need a new
cut! My hair is very, very thick and very, very wavy/curly and jet black. I just don't
know what to do with it! I used to straighten it every day, but too much
work! I'll be in Chicago on Friday, so maybe I'll pass a salon....


I hope you're still lurking! How's it going? You and I kind of have similar goals.
Except I weigh more than I thought..I'm at 209 and my goal is 150. Are you
following any particular program? Good job on your success! It must feel
good! What size do you wear? When I was about your weight, I was on
the verge of a size 14/16. I'm right about 16 now. I like Gap pants and jeans.
Their sizing is a bit smaller than LB so maybe if you're 14/16, a Gap 14 will
work for you...Most Gap 16's fit me well. It's just my darn behind!

Hope all of you are doing well!


03-14-2001, 06:10 PM

You go crazy babe and get a smashing outfit. It's a party and it sounds like you are going to have a great time. Good luck clothes shopping.

I wore a sweater today that my lovely fiance washed (dry clean only) and it shrunk something wicked, but it's fitted now instead of big and loose. I wore it today and one of my friends said that she thought I was lookin' good. Little things like that make all the difference sometimes, eh?

Girlie---I think your goal is reasonable for October. Remember the exercise and the water and you should be on your way!

Talk to you guys soon! Abby

03-14-2001, 06:19 PM
Thanks for the tips, Ressey!

The water is my big bad "oopsy". I just
can't seem to drink enough water in a day, unless
i purposely gorge myself every once in a while.
Hey, if it works, maybe i'll do it!


03-14-2001, 11:39 PM
Sal, isn't the growing out stage fun? :rolleyes: I actually cut my long hair short a couple of months ago, so we're doing the opposite! Hope you have fun at the party...sounds like a blast!

Girle, my hair is great! Very Charlize Theron...except my hair is auburn, not blonde. Very short! Will be very easy to work with when I'm running around half conscious at 4:30 am getting ready for work. :D My hair is straight and fine....think we could trade for a while? Oh, my hubby does laundry, dishes, bathrooms, name it. See, I got one from the US Navy....already trained to take orders. :s:

Ressey, isn't it great when you get compliments!


03-14-2001, 11:52 PM
I hear ya about the H20- I have a heck of a time getting it all down! I'm pretty sure this is what people mean when they refer to "water torture". You and I are about the same size-I'll take you up on the GAP idea- I never knew they made jeans to fit the vertically challenged like myself. (I'm convinced I could be a size three if I were 7ft tall!):lol:
I am on the WW points program-weigh in tomorrow-wish me luck!! If I lose I'll post it tomorrow.

Wishin' ya luck through the rest of the week:D

Everybody sounds like they're doin' great-here's to a good week! Cheers!


03-15-2001, 06:52 PM
I'm driving to Chicago this weekend with a gal of mine and I'm really excited.
I will watch what I eat, but I'll be happy to know of all the walking I'll be doing!

I'm really glad that you're still around! I hope you stick around too!
Yes, I like Gap pants....their tops are mostly a little too preppy-like for me...
They seem to think that everything you wear has to be form-fitting!
I was happy when I went to and they have almost all of the
tops in XXL for women, which make them fit well and looser on me.
Almost all the pants and jeans there come up to size 20, with inseams
of x-short to x-tall! I usually get the ankle length with is usually 29/30
inches. Regular is usually 31/32 inches, so I'm guessing short is 29
and x-short is 27. Sometimes they have really cool pants like my favs..
these wool plaid flared legs!

Hello! I bet your hair looks better than Charlize's! Did you know that she's a
very tall size two? How terrible! I know you're way more of a sexy woman than
she is! Don't say no, yes, you are! That's BF is in the Air Force..
don't you just love these military guys?!


How are you doing? Been getting more compliments? If you haven't today,
I'll give you look GREAT!!!!


What did you get for your outfit? I'm dying to know!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!


03-15-2001, 07:00 PM
I am really into flared/wide leg pants....

I went to this military surplus store with my BF...he collects military garb and
it's sometimes very boring while he pours through memorabilia and spends
$300 on patches and shirts and haversacks and things...

This one store that I went to also had an upstairs that sold old, retro type stuff..
they had Navy issue sailor denims. They discontinued this old style of
flared denim pants, so this store had tons of them. I found two pairs!
They are cool because they are the superflared style that I like with flat pockets
in front. I think it's flattering because they're trim in the waist then flare out in
wide bells.

It's cool because these are really men's pants, so you can get a wide variety
of waists and lengths to fit, rather than going by one women's size.

Anyway, if you're a pants fan, you'd like this..if not, then you are totally bored
and I'm surprised you made it this far!

Thanks for reading!


03-15-2001, 11:16 PM
Your fashion sense is amazing! I'm so jealous of your finds! I have never found a pair of flares that weren't made to fit a twig-and the selection around here is pitiful. I have to drive at least 2hrs to get to a town big enough to carry clothes that look good and are fashionable. I'm not kidding! The best bet around here is a feed sack. (It's a small rural area town.)

Thank goodness for e-trade, or I might have to wear a paper bag!

Had a good week:D


03-19-2001, 07:49 PM
I hope all of you are out there and doing well!

Race: Hey! Congrats on the weight loss! Yay! I'm happy for you! You'd best hold out on
buying any flare pants...pretty soon, you'll be swimming in them! (or you can just hand
them down to me as we both lose!)