Came across THIS ARTICLE. Though it's directly about a woman who lost weight with the help of surgery, I believe it can apply to ANYONE who has lost weight.
Small portion:
Quote:
I want this: I want to say, don't love yourself even though you're not perfect - love yourself because you have a body and it's worth loving and it is perfect. Be healthy, which is perfect at whatever size healthy is and at whatever size happy is. And of course that's totally easy and I have just caused a revolution in body image. Let's all go home now.
Right. So, I don't know what the answer is, and I don't know how to make it happen, and I don't know what to do except keep yelling about it, wherever I can. Saying there's no magic number, and there's no perfect size - and of course you know that, but we have to keep telling each other because it's hard to remember sometimes. We have to keep saying it. We have to figure out how to believe it.
Anyway, read it and thought it was worth sharing. Obviously everyone has a different experience, but I definitely can relate, at least in part, to her story.
Thanks for linking that article. I'm sad for her that the success she had wasn't all that she hoped it would be.
I read some of the comments and this one really stuck out to me.
"Any time I start to not like the way my body is, I look out at nature.
I remind myself that every flower is different from the next. No leaf looks "exactly" like the next one. That every thing in nature is unique yet completely beautiful.
It helps me to see that I'm not "flawed" because of my differences, just different. Which is great!
I can look at any person and find beauty in them, and not have to think that I'm NOT beautiful just because I don't look like them."
That's an interesting article. I guess you take yourself with you wherever you go, be it a weight loss journey or a trip to Paris.
For me, being overweight/obese just adds to my insecurities. Now that I weigh a little less, I feel a somewhat less awkward and self conscious; a little less concerned that others see me as just another fat lady, missing my good qualities.
So, while life may not be perfect, and I may not be perfect, I feel a great deal better than I did 45 lbs ago. In fact, I'd be happy to go to Paris now.
With regard to weight loss surgery, I thought there was a lot of in depth psychological work required along with the surgery. Maybe that's the best case scenario.
Last edited by gailr42; 03-20-2013 at 06:44 PM.
Reason: spelling error
Interesting, this same author/lady was mentioned in another similar article here today too. This one is better - more powerful.
It gets to the root really - and one we don't ask ourselves enough - why did I not love myself enough to take care of the only body I was given? If we can get to that root, I think we can take care of so many ills.
For me, my long weight loss journey has been a tremendous aid to my self-esteem, my health, my joints (especially knees) and yes, how I view my beloved body, which I have loved through it all, 100-plus pounds more, long ago, less than I am now, where I am now, whatever & whenever, I have loved my body and known it was beautiful, but it is nice for me when my joints don't hurt so much and when I can wear whatever capris pants I want and feel good in them.
It has nothing to do with anyone else or whether I have more to offer the world than a jean size (I do).
Not every person who loses weight is suffering from finding out that life STILL isn't perfect, and THEY are STILL not perfect.
Lol, to me it has been worth doing and it is worth maintaining and I'll be moving up and down probably a lot on the scale until I kick the bucket, but I won't mind a bit.
Thanks for sharing the article. Really thought provoking. Later on tonight, before I go to bed, I'm going to journal about all the things I love about myself and what I feel I can offer to the world. Because, though I do struggle to not criticize myself, I do actually love myself, and my flawed body, and my sometimes-irrational mind, and my emotional strength, and... Oh yeah, I said I'd do that later....
I think a big part of what she was saying in the article has to do with whether or not we believe others can love us. Yes, we must love ourselves first, but I think we tend to base that self-love largely on whether or not we think others find us to be acceptable and lovable. I love this line: "...the best we have to offer to the world is an appropriately sized pair of jeans." It brought up so many questions in my mind: Do we only loves ourselves based on how we think we can contribute to the rest of the world? Who cares what I can contribute to anyone else if I can't even contribute love to me? I think the BEST contribution we can make for others is, actually, to love ourselves. If I can forgive myself, look past my own flaws, and love me, surely I can do the same for those around me. At the very least, I can show another person the importance of loving his/herself.
@Am2 - I do hope that me posting this didn't come across as my saying losing weight is NOT worth it. I definitely didn't mean it to come across that way, at all!
I know it doesn't apply to EVERYONE! For many, though, I think that weight loss will solve all their problems, and it's not the case (in most cases anyway).
Weight loss has been WONDERFUL for me as well!!! My gosh, many things in my life have changed for the better, for sure.
What really struck me is that the doctor assumed she was unhappy and hated herself. Why do so many people assume that overweight people are insecure and just devastated over their bodies?
I know I never hated myself and never hated my body. Trust me, if I had hated my body, I would have lost the weight a long time ago. Sometimes a comfort zone can be much worse than not liking something.
What really struck me is that the doctor assumed she was unhappy and hated herself. Why do so many people assume that overweight people are insecure and just devastated over their bodies?
I know I never hated myself and never hated my body. Trust me, if I had hated my body, I would have lost the weight a long time ago. Sometimes a comfort zone can be much worse than not liking something.
See, this is interesting to me... and worthy of discussion.
So, I really never hated my body either. I didn't like feeling fat, but I wasn't "mad" at myself for being fat... hard to make sense of my thoughts here, but I could still the beauty in myself, even fat.
HOWEVER, if we really loved ourselves, would we risk so much by being fat? Being a little overweight is one thing, but I was morbidly obese. If I loved myself - truly, then I would have taken care of my body and not risked my health and early death. Risking fertility. Risking soooo many things.
Can I truly say I loved myself? if I didn't take care of the body I was given? That's a tough one for me.
Now, did I loathe me.. heck no. Never. But I also knew I would feel better if I was thinner. I just didn't want all the effort that came with it and I was afraid... and afraid of a lot of things I don't even know I can put my finger on.
That was an excellent article and something that makes me so sad to see on this site and similar. Thread after thread of people looking to lose weight, and their words are really saying that they want to be more attractive, or outgoing, or feel loved, or get a promotion - you name it, but all these things they attach to weight that have almost nothing to do with it! And many of these folks, if they don't work on the emotional issues, often become regainers because they lost the weight and realized they weren't yet fixed! The mental work is so important and so very, very hard.
I'm grateful - I can't say I struggled much with self worth even at my highest weight and haven't had a hard time doing the emotional housekeeping necessary to both deal with the massive physical shift of losing weight AND tackle all those other things in my life that aren't even tangentially related to my size, yet often get lumped in with it. God has truly blessed me in this area, that of all my struggles in life this is one of the few I didn't fall into. It's entirely grace.
What Losing Weight REALLY Does
