40-Somethings - Difficulty Getting Started on this Weight Loss Journey

03-19-2013, 02:25 PM
So I have been trying for the past several weeks to get this weight loss going and I have to say this is the most difficult thing I have ever tried to do. Sure I have done this in the past but now it just seems like it is getting so hard whether it be because of age (40 something), lack of will power, addiction (and I use this term loosly) to certain foods, etc..... I plan the next day either the night before or the morning of and the plan looks great then the day starts and it all goes out the door. For some reason I dont want what I planned or i want more or this or that....the point is that I just cant make this work and I dont know why.:?:

Another thing that gets me is when I have to hear about others weight loss all the time or when someone pops up out of the blue and has all of a sudden lost "my" 30 pounds and I never knew they were even trying. Then I have to hear them say all they did was stop drinking pop or stopped eating candy. They didn't log or plan anything to eat.:(

I have tried so many different things and its the same ole same ole stuff. I will be the first to say that breads of any kind be it bread/chips/cakes/etc..... and sweets are my ultimate weekness. I thought about trying just the veggies/fruit and maybe do breads/sweets 1x a week but then I feel im depriving myself which is how I also feel when I plan meals in advance.....For some reason I feel like.....this is all I can have....is what I planned?

Any thoughts/suggesstions/advice would be so appreciated!!!:^:

03-19-2013, 05:19 PM
dms6k, welcome to the boards.

I've been trying to think of a helpful way to respond to your post. Unfortunately, I can't give you motivation or willpower. You have to want to lose the weight more than you want to eat that roll.

That being said, you can help by setting yourself up for success. If you crave bread and sweets, limit how much comes into your house. If it's not there, you can't eat it. Plus, you need a plan you can live with. For me, I'm a sweets addict (and I don't use the term loosely...I get crazy, addict-driven behavior when denied my chocolate) so I allow myself a little every day. I'm a calorie counter, so I know how many calories to leave so I can have 4 dark chocolate kisses in the evening. I don't feel deprived, I can make it through the day knowing I can have them after dinner, and I stick within my plan limits.

Good luck with whatever you choose. Keep coming here for support, tips, and laughs!

03-19-2013, 05:29 PM
Welcome dms6k!

You made the first step towards your weightloss mission by posting here and that's a huge part in getting started.

Losing weight for me can be so overwhelming, I get all gung-ho to eat right and exercise and drink my water and log everything, etc. etc. Then I get tired out in a day or two, overwhelmed, sore, hungry, and wanting to eat junk. But this time, I *wanted* it. I wanted it with all my heart and I wanted it with my brain. I can't explain it in words well, all I can say is I wanted it so bad.

What I finally learned this time around...start slowly making changes and then it will all come together. Maybe start logging your food to start so you can see where your calories are being spent, maybe start walking just 10 minutes a day to get some exercise in, or start drinking one less can of soda a day. (These are just examples and might not apply to you if you already log your food, exercise or don't drink soda!)

Small changes add up quick and once I lost my first 10lbs, I was HOOKED!

3FC is a huge motivator for me, so many positive people and posts to help me remember I am not alone in all of this.

I wish you lots of luck. If I can lose weight, believe me, anyone can!!

03-19-2013, 05:55 PM
Try to find some low calorie foods that you like and stick to them.

I never used to eat salads and now I love them. One trick is to only eat when you are hungry. You'd be surprised how many foods you once thought were not very tasty become tasty when you are a little hungry.

I love bread, sugar, candy and chips too but they have all had to go. Reducing your intake of these things is a good intermediate step if you can't let go immediately. Or you can try to keep just one treat to yourself. Mine is beer. I still drink beer.

You won't feel deprived once you start seeing the weight loss and feeling better, which is one big advantage for us 200 pounders losing weight compared to those that are just a little overweight.

03-19-2013, 09:17 PM
I can relate! I am a breadaholic! I can't eat bread at home, or I will eat an entire loaf. Bread is simply not part of my daily diet. I can have wraps - for some reason I don't have the same desire to eat them plain or binge on them and can stop at one wrap sandwich. However, even wraps are a once or twice a week treat, and when I am really rocking, I don't even eat them either. I allow myself to have bread once a week - but it is usually when I am eating away from home and there is a finite amount and other people around. I used to buy fresh bread and rolls every day - I could eat 6 rolls in one sitting, no joke! I haven't done so in over 1 1/2 years, but I know I could so easily slip back. I also love baked goods (can anyone say brownies or chocolate chip cookies?). I can't have those around either, and always find it a challenge to bake for my family and not scarf every crumb down myself.

For me, it's always about making one change at a time, letting myself get into the habit of living that change, and then moving on to making an additional change. Just build upon each change. I know that when I tried to go cold turkey on everything at once (e.g. no bread, no sweets, no soda (can you say "Crack-a-Cola?"), I gave up after a few hours! I could never even last one day. However, eliminating one thing and/or replacing it with something healthier - that I could manage!

Good luck!

Florida 1
03-19-2013, 10:19 PM
For me, I just thought "I can do anything for a week". Then I found out it wasn't so bad and 9 pounds were gone, so I'm going for another week. If I get tired of the slim-fast (so far so good - no one more surprised than me) then I'll count calories. So maybe just deciding that you don't have to give those things up forever, just a day or week at a time? Good luck!

03-19-2013, 10:33 PM
as a mom (or former mom) long story
I know that little rewards work well with kids
stickers for going potty, little toys and treats for good behavior
money for chores, etc etc

I suggest finding inexpensive rewards for yourself (not food related)and giving yourself big treats for milestones - just some ideas are -

get a massage
a manicure/pedicure
buy new music
take yourself to a concert
maybe NOT out to dinner :)

and since we're all kids at heart, little rewards are still fun
nail polish
new magazine
a movie
a "scratch ticket" (but be careful, that's a slippery slope, at least for me)

I found a direct correlation between when I started this "diet/change in lifestyle" and my new found craving to gamble, which as everyone knows can be addictive, and has made Donald Trump a very rich man :devil:
so, maybe there are healthier treats?
I'd love to hear from you out there :hug:

03-19-2013, 10:34 PM
two more posts and I'm "officially here" :)

03-19-2013, 10:53 PM
You have to want to lose the weight more than you want to eat that roll.

That is an excellent way to think!! i love it. I now have two thoughts to keep me motivated!!

03-19-2013, 10:56 PM
For me, I just thought "I can do anything for a week". Then I found out it wasn't so bad and 9 pounds were gone, so I'm going for another week. If I get tired of the slim-fast (so far so good - no one more surprised than me) then I'll count calories. So maybe just deciding that you don't have to give those things up forever, just a day or week at a time? Good luck!

Great Ideas!! I love everyones tips on this site. I also like the mini goals of 5lbs at at time. I have so much to loose, 5 at a time seems like something i may be able to accomplish :)

03-19-2013, 11:00 PM
I know exactly what you are saying. People seems to just be able to loose 30 lbs and look great. Seems so easy for them. I have much more than that to loose BUT 30 lbs..I'll take it if i can:) I wish you all the best and will be thinking of your post, I feel like we are on the same page for sure!

03-20-2013, 12:43 PM
Two years ago I was diagnosed with heart disease. Part of my treatment was reducing the sodium in my diet, so I didn't have much choice but to change what foods I ate. I turned it into an adventure. I started reading labels, counting sodium content, getting creative with recipes and eating a new way. It was hard, and time consuming, but I did it because my life depended on it. The silver lining was creating recipes that both of my at-home kids love (they rarely like the same thing!) Over time, I started memorizing sodium content and it got easier and easier. I know that sodium isn't the same as calories, but changing is the same. I got sodium cravings, and still do. I've learned to curb my cravings with little treats...pre-packaged so they are already measured out for me. I've also learned that two of the same foods, by different companies, do not have the same sodium or calorie content...so read labels! Make a list of the ones that fit within your guidelines.

Now I'm having to up it a little more to count calories, so it's challenging again, but I know that in time it will get easier.

I knew a woman who had lost a lot of weight, and she used journalling to help her. Whenever she would eat something, she would first write down her feelings at the moment. She could then determine if she was eating for hunger, or emotionally eating. Focusing on what we are eating, instead of the TV, computer, phone call, etc. helps us to enjoy what we are eating even more, helping to not feel so deprived.

Post-it notes are great for putting up around the house. I put little messages of encouragement on them. This way, they are a constant reminder to love myself and take care of myself. I used to be bad at mindless eating. I would eat something and not even realize I had eaten anything. The post-it notes make me stop and think now.

Sadly, low sodium doesn't always mean low fat, though, which is why I'm here, LOL Still, I'm working on that aspect of my diet now too.

03-21-2013, 09:12 PM
I live/work on a cattle farm. I'm getting more tired of the daily grind of taking care of the cows and their babies with all this snow and cold weather. My husband and I are both lacking sleep and I'm getting stresses out. I am so ready for spring to come to Manitoba! When I'm feeling this way I* always eat. I teach preschool in town is 2 days. It's a break but has it's stressful moments as well. I get so upset with myself b/c I have been doing lots of physical labor around here and have been too tired to exercise...I've actually gained 3 lbs. Just needed to share this with you. I have not given up, just frustrated I guess!

Just Dance Girl
04-22-2013, 12:22 PM
I always start with exercise. I love to eat, but if I've exercised then I don't want to waste it. But I might be exercising for a week before I start eating better.

05-04-2013, 02:47 PM
I am having the same problem, just can't seem to put together 2 days in a row, that is if the entire day stays good. I haven't has this problem in the beginning in past efforts. Maybe age related now? I don't know. Perhaps instead of calorie counting (which I really feel is ultimately the best method) is too easy to skip out of? I don't know, maybe I need to spend some bucks on a plan to feel invested?


I want to feel great
05-08-2013, 02:53 PM
Great start for ur goal setting 5 pounds not to overwhelming

I want to feel great
05-11-2013, 10:55 AM
Dms6k hi I have just start less than a week ago too and I sure hear u loud and clear.
I have the same thoughts also.but im in the proccess of changing what I have been thinking I took a deep breath .took sum advice decided I cant change it all over night.and now I feel better and focused on changing one thing at a time,as in I have started to walk for 30min a day,this is my 6th day of doing.next week I will focuse on one more thing and by having others posting there thoughts is a big help for me, because im not thinking as I use to and feel im finally getting out of my rut. Good luck to you have a good day!