100 lb. Club - Made the mistake of




View Full Version : Made the mistake of


Kat117
03-19-2013, 10:15 AM
Looking in the mirror this morning before getting dressed. Everything is so loose and wobbly. It was just gross. My boobs looked like the after photo of a mountain that has just had a landslide. My neck is so wrinkled and I have a freaking turkey wattle that wobbles and wiggles. My gut ... well that is just so sad. old stretch marks that look like tire tracks across my midsection, it hangs down past where a stomach should be. But that isn't so bad now because it partially covers those lovely bubbled out pockets of fat on the inside of my thighs.

So I am doing all this weight loss to be healthy and happy with my body and all I can think is - wow - if this is how gross I look after loosing 90, what the heck is it all going to look like after losing another 70????

I really try to look at this as an adventure - I know that in the end I will have surgery for all the parts I possibly can. But how, in the meantime, do I not let something like this morning screw with the psyche?

I will never get undressed in front of another human being again.


lunarsongbird
03-19-2013, 10:23 AM
Oh, Kat, I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. :( I've read that it can take your skin up to a year to catch up with your weight loss. Also- of course there is that awkward terrible phase you hit between dropping big numbers where everything seems squishy and terrible, before things firm up again.

Maybe it would help to know that you are nourishing your body and doing something to help it along? I've read that a good bone broth (chicken broth) can help with skin quite a bit. I know that it helps with my knees too!
http://bodyecology.com/articles/bone-broth#.UUhmqCcp-8A

emid78
03-19-2013, 10:25 AM
For a minute there I thought you saw me naked!

You'll be fine. The hardest part is losing the weight. You've obviously done an awesome job at that so far. When seeing yourself gets you down, just think of where you started and how far you've come. That will surely bring your spirits up. I cannot wait until the moment that I can do that.


SarahFairhope
03-19-2013, 11:28 AM
I sometimes have to deal with some of this type of thinking too. This is what I say to myself (when I remember to!): "This is a body in transition, and I am healthier than I was yesterday."

I also know that surgery is nearly certain in my case, so knowing that this state of my body is only temporary, helps. Its transitional. And if you look at some tummy tuck pictures, I think that really helps. What you cant do on your own, can really be improved upon if surgery is something you can/are willing to do.

elvislover324
03-19-2013, 11:44 AM
I had the same thing happen recently when I got so excited (??!!) to try on my bathing suits. What the heck was I thinking? I have a feeling I will be wearing some type of wetsuit into my pool this year covering everything up. And the worst part is, I always just wore my big bathing suits in the pool and enjoyed the pool. I mean, I knew I was big and that my suits were big but it was all about enjoying the pool, you know?

I don't have any advice as I am struggling with this myself. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone. And congrats on your weightloss!! We surely are healthier on the inside even if we don't look perfect on the outside. :)

fadedbluejeans
03-19-2013, 11:51 AM
I had the same thing happen recently when I got so excited (??!!) to try on my bathing suits. What the heck was I thinking? I have a feeling I will be wearing some type of wetsuit into my pool this year covering everything up. And the worst part is, I always just wore my big bathing suits in the pool and enjoyed the pool. I mean, I knew I was big and that my suits were big but it was all about enjoying the pool, you know?

I don't have any advice as I am struggling with this myself. Just wanted you to know you aren't alone. And congrats on your weightloss!! We surely are healthier on the inside even if we don't look perfect on the outside. :)

I need a wetsuit too! your posts always crack me up :)

allieballiebee
03-19-2013, 12:15 PM
Oh man, I know how you feel. I'm down 90 lbs as well, and hope to lose another 50. I went clothes shopping over the weekend and had plenty of opportunities to examine my mostly naked body in full-length fitting room mirrors (cue shudder). I've clearly done some irreparable damage to myself, including a stretched-out lower belly that hangs down way too far, the little fat/skin pockets on my inner thighs, and deflating boobs -- oh, and stretch marks galore.

Some parts will eventually firm up (I've heard it takes time), and some things may never fully bounce back. We may never have perfect bikini bodies -- at least not without surgical intervention in my case -- but we will be HEALTHY. And hey, we can think of those stretch marks like battle scars, reminding us that we fought morbid obesity and eventually, against all odds, won. :)

Mantuagirl
03-19-2013, 01:52 PM
The good thing is that not everyone is going to see us naked. (Unless you’re a Kardasian) There will even be people that say, “There goes those chicks with the hot bodies.” Ok, ok, so they’re blind, but it still counts. I’m planning ahead; I’m buying stock in Spandex!

mnemosyne
03-19-2013, 02:02 PM
I had the same thing happen recently when I got so excited (??!!) to try on my bathing suits. What the heck was I thinking? I have a feeling I will be wearing some type of wetsuit into my pool this year covering everything up. And the worst part is, I always just wore my big bathing suits in the pool and enjoyed the pool. I mean, I knew I was big and that my suits were big but it was all about enjoying the pool, you know?

Yeah. IIIII am feeling the same way. I need a new bathing suit and CRIMINEY I have ugly loose skin at the top of my thighs. I want a normal bathing suit, not a SKIRTED suit as those drag you down, but ugh. It is a struggle.

Kat - I know the feeling. I am... hmmm. Well, also on some level I am a bit perversely proud of the loose skin. That shows how much I've lost. I am shedding this old self, but she will never be gone. So I try to channel my amazement (and dislike) into that feeling of perverse pleasure and remind myself that I am a bada**. Seriously, Samuel Jackson and Bruce Willis have nothing on me. Neither of them have lost 130 lbs.

That's my only real advice, which does nothing for interpersonal self-conciousness. And may be a sign of delusional thinking (of the "I am a super-hero!" variety. Though really, losing 90 pounds, going from 280 to 190 as you have? That is pretty close to superhero status. IMO.)

synger
03-19-2013, 07:52 PM
I'm definitely feeling more deflated and wobbly bits as I lose. But I've never been a looker when naked anyway. I really try to see the stretch marks and wrinkles and wobble as battle scars, and focus more on the fact that I can walk without a cane and without pain and my blood sugar is level and controlled.

But it's hard. I've never really been vain (I've had it drummed into me that fat women can't be pretty for far too long), but I know it's gonna get worse before I'm done. It's a little scary, but at this point I'm clinging to the health aspect and avoiding the aesthetic issues.

1987
03-19-2013, 07:56 PM
I have these issues too.

The way I see it, is that I'd rather be slim and at a healthy weight with a few loose, saggy bits than obese, unhealthy and filled out!

As others have said, not many people have to see us naked. I look reasonably good in clothes now so I don't really worry about it too much.

Vex
03-19-2013, 09:46 PM
I hear you. Boy do I hear you. I'm still annoyed I'll probably still wear one of those swimsuits with a skirt because my thighs are just so ...floppy?

What helps though at these times is to go back and look at all your before pictures. I'd take floppy over any one of those.

MissKoo
03-19-2013, 09:57 PM
BUT. . . there are so many WAY CUTE skirt type bathing suits now! I can't believe it. Even the catalogs from non-chubby-gal stores (like ll bean and land's end and such) have these darling skirt bathing suits. Maybe people are getting more modest? I don't know but I'd wear this one:

Daimere
03-19-2013, 10:30 PM
I get super proud of the squishier areas. My body changing makes it obvious that this is all working! My one friend even at her lowest weight has saggy skin but she is still rocking a 2 piece when exercising:
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/73776_10150326521265273_4464343_n.jpg

Someone on here said that it can firm up.

Mozzy
03-19-2013, 10:34 PM
Hugs

NightowlAnnie
03-20-2013, 12:18 AM
Way to go!!!!

Radiojane
03-20-2013, 12:50 AM
I hate my body right now. Not all the time, just when it's uncovered. I actually just caught a glimpse of my left arm gleaming in the lamplight. It's completely blighted by silver stretch marks.

But you wouldn't notice if you looked at me. We're the only ones judging ourselves this harshly, and its even worse because its a disconnect from our success on the scale. Put on something you feel sexy in and hold your head up. You've made amazing progress!

sandeestep
03-20-2013, 07:53 AM
Wow, I understand your frustration. I had a friend once who had all the tummy tucks, etc. after losing a lot of weight. After the surgery, the doctor told her that she would continue to have loose baggy skin if she did not wear a body suit that holds it in while it is healing. This was one of those skin tight deals...spandex all the way. How the heck she got that thing on with healing skin without it killing her, I will never know. She had to wear it for months. That basically ensured that all that money she spent would not go to waste and she could see results. However, I have been told that in time, the skin will slowly shrink. Keep your skins moisturized and....don't look in the mirror.;)

merilung
03-20-2013, 11:19 AM
We're the only ones judging ourselves this harshly, and its even worse because its a disconnect from our success on the scale. Put on something you feel sexy in and hold your head up. You've made amazing progress!

Yes, this! People are so often their own worst critics.

The body you have is gorgeous - it was at your highest weight and it is now. Beauty exists independently of weight, stretch marks, loose skin, scars, blemishes, and all the rest, thank goodness! Think of how many amazing things your body can do! All the places it takes you! All women are beautiful and you are no exception.

When I feel the burn of societal pressure, it helps me to look at blogs of real, amazing, beautiful women and see how much variation there really is - all lovely, but all very different. Some of my favourites are shapeofamother.com, tumblr.com/tagged/fatkini, adipositivity.my-expressions.com/ - first and last contain nudity and are NSFW.

Kat117
03-25-2013, 10:40 AM
I took a few days to read and reread and absorb all teh wonderful advice you each offered. I want first to say thank you for the support. It makes this so much easier to deal with.

Second, I wanted to say that each of you has helped me look at this weight loss journey in a way other than scale related. I cannot thank you enough for that. In the grand scheam of things, the number on the scale, some loose skin, and wobbly thighs are so minor. I have to remember that I have turned my health around, can do things now that I couldn't 8 months ago and am starting to see possibiliies to change my life in so many other areas now too.

My most sincere thanks and gratitude go out to all of you!

Terese2
03-25-2013, 10:48 AM
These posts made me laugh and cry - but mostly I am feeling so proud of those of you who have lost enough weight to show the "battle scars."

Thanks for sharing your stories with new people like me. I have 100 pounds to lose and I will try to remember that there may be loose skin and wobbly parts when I get closer to that finish line.

I know one thing for sure. Losing all that weight makes your heart and other organs much happier - and they don't care a bit if there is some loose skin covering them up. :)