Depression and Weight Issues - I feel depressed..




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may77
03-17-2013, 02:07 PM
Hello everyone..

I've suffered from a long term depression do to my weight back when I was 20 years old and I remember locking up myself in my house for a whole five years, I wouldn't accept my friends seeing me the size I've become, I did not go out for years and years until the last 9 years where I started coming out, working, meeting up with new people every now and then, starting to accept myself and working on my weight. Growing up I've always had the body that all the girls in my family wished to have, I had curves in all the good places, I was fit and active, until I was diagonalized with some hormones imbalance, I got treated for it and I gained a kilo after another, which got me very depressed and suffered a low self esteem and couldn't trust the world for anything..

I've got to the highest weight in my life which was 299 pounds (136kg), I've tried all the yo-yo dieting, it just caused me more harm than good and just in 2010 I've started getting treatment again for my hormones and thyroids, I lost 66 pounds (30kg) just eating healthy and little bit of work out every now and then, nothing extreme, I am happy I did lose weight even though it is a very slow process yet my weight keeps losing instead of putting some more on, I can eat some treats every now and then and I don't blow up few kilos up.

My type of job makes me deal with gorgeous models, with amazing fit bodies or just the skinny high fashion ones, I never felt bad about myself being with them since it is all about the job and I would never want to be that skinny I just want to be like I used to be, curvy and fit. So I've trained myself to face all of that and I was ok with it.

Just last week something happened that thrown all my confidence and cheerful self in the garbage.. I always wear nice clothes, do my makeup and hair, I care so much about myself and how I present myself no matter what size I am.. but on top of that, while I was in the mall, I heard some brutal comments coming from some random guys, commenting on how big I am, or saying hurtful words and such, and also some young girls gave me some weird looks.. I don't wear the unusual, I wear decent outfits like everyone else.. Anyhow.. after having that episode.. I came home and I just burst into tears, I've been feeling down since then, I have not gone out for a week, and I am so worried that I will get into that bubble I put myself into 9 years ago.. I don't want to get to that point again.. lose myself..

Has anyone experienced this? How did you over come it?

I haven't had any physical or emotional relationship since I was 22, I used to be the popular girl that everyone want to be with and then I turned into someone that no one even think of.. *sigh* this is so depressing..


seabiscuit
03-17-2013, 03:23 PM
:hug:

May,

I think that others making comments and giving you weird looks is incredibly mean. It shows that those people who made the comments and gave the looks are really the one with self-esteem and respect issues if they sink so low to be that ignorant and mean.

It's great that you have lost the weight that you have lost, good for you! Keep on the right track, and take care of you. Try not to worry about what the ignorant people like the ones commenting on you have to say, as hard as that is, try to not let the turkeys get you down!

Take good care ;)

Patti909
03-17-2013, 05:10 PM
I can understand how you feel. There are days I don't want to leave the house for fear of people staring or making comments. But I try not to think negatively and use their negativity as motivation to prove to myself I can loose weight. Keep your head up! You have a great support team behind you on here!


om namah shivaya
03-17-2013, 06:57 PM
This story breaks my heart! Just remember how far you've come and how much of a difference you've noticed in yourself compared to before. In the end, it's all about your attitude. You are wonderful and kick a$$ and you deserve to be a diva and proud of yourself, so let yourself show it! Believe it! You looked great, then you had the weight loss, and you will only continue on to looking and feeling better! Be excited and keep on your plan!! :D :D

may77
03-18-2013, 10:19 AM
Thank you everyone for your kind words, it really helped me to see through my day. I am still feeling a bit down and this weekend I spent it at home, even now it's Monday I am feeling down and stressed over going out.. I need to toughing up a bit I guess.

Thanks again! I appreciate you reading and replying! :hug:

ChickieBoom
03-18-2013, 04:03 PM
May...I have experienced exactly what you're going through. I was actually in therapy for a little bit before I buckled down to start losing weight. I was incredibly depressed, hated leaving my house unless absolutely necessary and lived in constant fear of running into people I hadn't seen for a long time.

My therapist helped me to understand that my weight (as depressing as it made me) was completely in my control. I didn't need anyone to do anything for me in order to lose weight and that really helped me get started.

Some people are cruel. It's unfortunate but true. They can be especially cruel to people who are battling their weight. Try not to let it get you down. Feel sorry for them that they can't find sympathy in their hearts to treat people with respect.

Good luck.

may77
03-19-2013, 03:10 PM
I was incredibly depressed, hated leaving my house unless absolutely necessary and lived in constant fear of running into people I hadn't seen for a long time.


This is exactly how I feel, I burst into tears just reading this :( I feel the same, the fear of their judgements.

Thank you hun for your support and encouragement it really means so much and thanks everyone for their kind words again.

firegirl441
03-22-2013, 10:57 AM
May77,

I am so sorry to hear about your state of depression. I went through a deep state of depression when I was injured on the job and then I was fired because the doc said I could never work again. I was put in an electric wheelchair and I was soooooo embarrassed to go outside either. I finally decided that staying cooped up in the house was not healthy for me so I started with baby steps like DH taking me to the small local grocery store. I built up to going to Fred's, then the mall, etc. Also as far as your weight loss journey goes, I highly recommend that you take baby steps with that as well. Make mini-goals and complete one then go on to the next and so on and so on. That has been successful for me in the past. I am here cheering you on to the finish line.

Blessings,

betsy2013
03-22-2013, 11:05 AM
May, it is so extremely hurtful to have people treat you (us!) this way. The thing to keep in mind is the progress you've made: losing weight, overcoming your issues with leaving home, working in a challenging environment. I've had comments made about my weight as well. They are hurtful. They stick with you for far longer than they should. But what has helped me eventually is that I remember that I've taken control of my life. I'm doing something to face up to the fact that I got myself in this situation and I'm going to get myself out. Eventually, I will come out the other end of this journey and be a better person for it. The likelihood is that the people who make the rude and thoughtless comments will still be the dweebs they've always been. Instead of giving them the power to make me feel bad, I feel sorry for them.

actualize81
03-22-2013, 06:15 PM
After reading countless stories and hearing the feedback from my own clients, I firmly believe that depression can be healed or dramatically lessened from shifting certain things in our diets....

A big one for me was Wheat... I also gave up Corn and my mood and disposition went up within three days..... and then I lost weight too....

I think timing of meals for me was quite important....

UK US Marketing
03-22-2013, 06:43 PM
It is your choice to feel the depression, your choice to feel the love. Which would you prefer?

Kristeebee
03-24-2013, 10:03 AM
Big hugs to you May :hug::hug::hug:
Hang in there. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Just continue on your incredible journey and show those ignorant people what you are capable of! A lot more than they are, that's for sure.
Oh, I find that if I become depressed or anxious, a good workout helps to lift my mood. Fresh air can do wonders for you as well.
Just remember you are special, no matter what weight you are.
You just need to get healthier and happier so you can enjoy your life.

Flavio
03-31-2013, 05:09 PM
Hello [...] Just last week something happened that thrown all my confidence and cheerful self in the garbage.. [...]

We've all been there and we know how you feel.

I've been insulted before, it used to upset me but not anymore. I couldn't care less about stupid comments and I suggest you do the same. Don't waste any of your precious time with pathetic losers, those people will always find an excuse to pick on someone.

As for depression, the sun, the sea and the company of friends are far better than any medication.

Cheer up, I wish you all the best. :hug: