Overeaters Anonymous - I'm scared and need help... I can't control myself.




abootflock
03-15-2013, 05:49 PM
When I go to school, I eat crap. While I eat it, it feels great. Although I know I shouldn't eat honey buns and Pop Tarts, I always make an excuse or just forget about my knowledge of good/bad habits.

Then I get home. I get home and I hate myself and I want to die because I hate what I've just eaten. It feels like I can't control my own actions during the day, and then in the afternoon my brain turns back on again. And it happens every day. I don't know what to do... I have such a hard time committing that I never stop eating crap and I continue to feel bad about myself.

How do I get control of my body? I mean, I know I have control, but it doesn't seem like I do... It seems like my taste buds are making all the decisions.

I also know I can't do this alone. Can anyone help?


lasttime
03-15-2013, 06:45 PM
I am the same way. Would love to get some advice.

Candeka
03-15-2013, 07:36 PM
If I have something, I eat it. It doesn't matter if I'm hungry or not. Chips, icecream, crackers.... you name it and I will eat it. The only way I prevent this from happening is by not buying it. My school has several fast food places so I just avoid going to that area or I leave my money in my locker or at home. I only bring healthy snacks and only have healthy food at home.


ruthali23
03-15-2013, 07:54 PM
First thing first, this is not something only you are experiencing, ask anyone who is trying to loss weight and they will tell you at one point or another they have felt the same exact way you are feeling. Now with that said realize what is done is done, unfortunately you can not uneat (I realize that is not a word) those honey buns or pop tarts but the good news is you can absolutely change those habits. When I first started dieting and exercising, I would be good the whole day and when I got home I would raid my fridge and then I realized I was doing that because I was basically starving my self the whole day. The reason you feel like you have no control over your body is because your body is probably hungry and wants food and you can fix this by first making sure you have a Good healthy breakfast that includes some kind of protein and then about 3 hours later eating a small healthy snack and for lunch again eat some kind of healthy protein with vegetables then have a healthy snack again whenever your hungry and for dinner have something light like a salad or smoothie or chicken. Now I understand it is hard to manage your cravings while your going to school trust me it is a big struggle for me, but what I noticed helped me is cleaning all junk food out of my house and replacing them with healthy snacks like almonds and carrots and also ALWAYS ALWAYS have some kind of healthy snack in you bag so this way when your hungry instead of eating those pop tarts you can choose to have almonds or whatever other healthy snack you have available. And remember losing weight is a continues struggle some days are gonna be good some days are gonna me bad but not matter what don't give up and soon enough eating healthy will become a habit instead of a pain in your ***.

Misti in Seattle
03-16-2013, 06:48 AM
Great advice ruthali23! I also broke the junk food/night eating habit by having bowls of chopped veggies or fresh fruit out on my kitchen counter all the time, and "free" to eat. Or for work or going places, Ziploc bags of it.

abootflock, one very important fact to remember is that most of those junk foods actually contain LOTS of chemicals and addictive substances! So it IS hard to control it, even when your brain knows you should be able to. But once you begin to get that out of your system, it becomes so much easier, and you CAN break it!! I was the world's worst, and I did it so I know you can. And fresh fruits and veggies really TASTE so much better once the junk craving is gone (especially if you can get organic ones).

Hang in there! You've made a great start by honestly sharing, and this is a great place for support and encouragement.

You can do this.

abootflock
03-16-2013, 03:20 PM
Thanks everyone for the encouraging words and advice! I never expected this kind of feedback. I'm going to follow all of these strategies and lose weight... and try not to over complicate it. Thanks!

dreamy2007
03-18-2013, 07:50 PM
Since this is the OA section, have you every been to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting? I started attending meetings about a month ago and it felt so different than a "diet". I've been on diets (atkins, south beach, detox, eat clean, weight watchers....) and I've hired personal trainers and ran marathons to try to lose weight and they will work for a little while. Sometimes I could even keep the weight off for 2 years BUT at the beginning of this year, I reached my highest weight ever in my life! It scared me and I started attending OA. I'm basically eating what I was eating on the eat clean diet but OA also focuses on emotional and spiritual recovery which were the components that were missing for me in the past. One day at a time, I have not eaten sugar or flour for 28 days. I don't even know how that's possible! OA does not dictate what you should or should not eat and my sponsor has not told me what to eat or not to eat but I know what my binge foods are so I'm abstaining. I haven't eaten any rice and noodles yet either but it would have not been possible to go this long without attending OA meetings. I go to at least 2 meetings a week, sometimes 3 because I NEED IT! I also call my sponsor and do daily writing assignments exploring my compulsive overeating and read the 12 steps and 12 traditions book. Check out a few OA meetings and see if that helps you like it did for me.

Angeldove97
03-29-2013, 10:23 AM
You can also go to OA online meetings- http://www.starchat.net/chat/?chan=OARecovery That's one group that I attend (usually as MissTati). They have meetings every 3 hours every day- midnight, 3am, 6am, 9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, and 9pm. I highly recommend that you try them out- maybe one meeting before going off to school and another meeting when you return from school :)

ladykahlo
04-15-2013, 03:45 AM
You're eating the food for a reason. What are the reasons? What does the food do for you that you can't do for yourself? What feelings does it give you that you like? What feelings does it hide or get rid of?

mrslosingit
04-16-2013, 11:31 PM
I can relate to you.I work in a high school cafeteria and have to work around it

LaurenM427
05-18-2013, 11:14 PM
Your weight and/or eating are just the symptom of what's going on inside - they are not inherently problems in and of themselves. Sounds like you've already taken step one: We admitted we are powerless over food and our lives have become unmanageable.

Okay - that's done. You're officially off the hook. Your life has become unmanageable and there's nothing you directly can do to fix it.

So step two says Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Do you believe that yet? Have you found a higher power? Do you believe that that power can restore you to sanity?

OA is a program of surrender. You are turning over your addiction to food- and turning it over to your higher power. It's less threatening when you consider that really, none of this is in your hands. You do not need to try and manipulate yourself or calculate or direct your behaviors, because your higher power is doing that whether you fight it or not. So instead of trying to "force" yourself to "improve your habits," realize that the only one who can do that is your higher power. It's simply not within the realm of your individual control. So stop beating yourself up over being unable to do control yourself.

gamechanger
06-01-2013, 10:21 PM
Hi Angel, are the OA online meeting times you're quoting EST?

Aidanqm
06-01-2013, 11:58 PM
I've been there, done that. Here's exactly how I stopped my binge eating problem.

The short & sweet (practical) run down


Quit starving yourself: You only need to reduce calories by 300-400 lower from your maintenance level if you are doing appropriate cardio. Make sure you are eating nutritious, whole foods: animal & fish/shellfish protein, eggs, complex carbs & starchy tubers, nuts & seeds, veggies & leafy greens, fruit & berries, etc. Dairy in moderation is also good if you can process it: cottage cheese, plain Greek yogurt, cheese.
Eat a boat load of veggies, every day. As much as you want. No, seriously. DON'T skimp on the veggies. Especially leafy greens: broccoli, kale, spinach, etc.
MODERATION ... have a "free meal" once a week, or allow yourself a small 200-calorie snack every day of anything you want. Take a diet break once and a while. Don't deprive yourself.
Daily cardio or lifting. DAILY... with maybe a rest day thrown in once a week. The only way you can diet without starving your face off is to do a sh!t-ton of cardio. I usually do 60 minutes of moderate intensity cardio at least 4 times a week
Make yourself accountable ... easiest way I've found to do this is to make your weight loss social. Join a run group, or group exercise class. Grab a real life friend and be "diet buddies" .. post online, etc. Have a strong social support network to help hold yourself accountable.
Food preparation. This one is huge. PLAN out your meals, what food you will have in the house, etc. I spend 2-3 hours a week just cooking and storing my healthy foods for the week. And if I'm going out or planning a "free meal" I still plan ahead and think about which healthier & lower calorie options I can get at the restaurant. I'm always thinking about food prep...
SLEEP. Get good quality sleep every night. Willpower will always fail you if you are overly tired...


The touchy-feely run down

Don't starve yourself to compensate for a binge! I know it can be difficult but never ever starve/restrict or punish yourself for the binge. Return to your normal healthy eating habits and normal calorie range the next day. Forgive yourself, forget the binge, and move on.
View healthy eating and passing up sweets as a victory, not a sacrifice. Every time you eat a healthy food, congratulate yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Get excited about it! Small victories are the key to the road to recovery and health. consider starting a marble jar: For every sweet you pass up, put a marble in the jar. It's a neat visual way to see how many "small victories" you've made.
Pass up sweets/junk and binge eating as a victory, not a sacrifice. I know how terrible the feeling of missing binging can be! Even if it's a horrible habit, I know how it feels to actually miss being able to binge because it was such a long-term habit! And giving up sweets is hard but just see it as a victory not a sacrifice. Every time you pass up sweets and binge eating, you will get: better sleep, a stable mood, more energy, social confidence, and a happier you. Not to mention your body will thank you...
Ditch the food scales and calorie counting for a while. If you used to weigh out food and portions (like I did) try stopping it for a while. It will help you stop the cycle of starving/restricting during the day. Just choose healthy foods and moderate portion sizes. Then add daily cardio on top of that.
Start an exercise plan. Pair a healthy diet with a regular exercise program. Exercising will help motivate you to stick to eating healthy. It can also be a lot of fun and a way to get more social interaction and support! Try joining a running or other sports club. Or check out group classes at your gym.
Prepare meals ahead of time in tupperware containers. Knowing that you have food ready to eat for the day will encourage you to stick to your meal plan and eat healthy/normal portions. It will also help you to think twice about binge eating since your normal healthy foods will go to waste if you do. It's much easier to chose healthy options when they are readily available.
Don't grocery shop late at night or when hungry.
Avoid scales and mirrors for a while. Believe in your ability to succeed and stick to a plan. Celebrate small victories, and learn to love the intrinsic joy of exercising and eating healthy.
Continue to surround yourself with a supportive environment. Post online, hang out with health-conscious friends, join an exercise group, etc. The more support you get, the better.
Always, always, always ... keep trying! Even if you slip up and binge, don't view it as a failure. The only failure is to stop trying completely. Keep hope and know that you CAN and WILL stop binge eating. Think positively and believe in your ability to succeed. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself.


Also, from my experience, binge eating is /always/ about the food. The cause? Dieting. Almost all binge eating was caused because the person was dieting. ... Eating too few calories and/or depriving yourself will always lead to binge eating. You can fix your emotional problems, soul search, find love, reduce stress, change your location, whatever, etc... but the binge eating will always be about the food. We binge eat because food tastes good and we get a craving. It's a bad /habit/ and nothing more. The only thing you need to do to stop binge eating is ... stop binge eating! Kind of simple but it makes sense, right? To fix the problem of binge eating, you need to focus on just ... stopping the habit of binge eating. So don't make it out to be a bigger problem than it is. Knowing that you have the power to stop anytime and easily, that's a huge part of stopping the behavior. You are in control of your choices. Not the food, not other people, not the situation--YOU are. Cravings can't make you binge eat, only you can choose to start a binge or not. So just remember that you have the control and are responsible for your own choices. This sense of power and accountability helped me stop binge eating. Be /mindful/ of your choice and your actions ... and most importantly, follow the practical rules I posted above. You can't just will binge eating away, you need to make sure you are treating your body and mind with respect.

Best of luck to you!

blog
06-03-2013, 01:03 PM
I've been there, done that. Here's exactly how I stopped my binge eating problem.

The short & sweet (practical) run down


Quit starving yourself: You only need to reduce calories by 300-400 lower from your maintenance level if you are doing appropriate cardio. Make sure you are eating nutritious, whole foods: animal & fish/shellfish protein, eggs, complex carbs & starchy tubers, nuts & seeds, veggies & leafy greens, fruit & berries, etc. Dairy in moderation is also good if you can process it: cottage cheese, plain Greek yogurt, cheese.
Eat a boat load of veggies, every day. As much as you want. No, seriously. DON'T skimp on the veggies. Especially leafy greens: broccoli, kale, spinach, etc.
MODERATION ... have a "free meal" once a week, or allow yourself a small 200-calorie snack every day of anything you want. Take a diet break once and a while. Don't deprive yourself.
Daily cardio or lifting. DAILY... with maybe a rest day thrown in once a week. The only way you can diet without starving your face off is to do a sh!t-ton of cardio. I usually do 60 minutes of moderate intensity cardio at least 4 times a week
Make yourself accountable ... easiest way I've found to do this is to make your weight loss social. Join a run group, or group exercise class. Grab a real life friend and be "diet buddies" .. post online, etc. Have a strong social support network to help hold yourself accountable.
Food preparation. This one is huge. PLAN out your meals, what food you will have in the house, etc. I spend 2-3 hours a week just cooking and storing my healthy foods for the week. And if I'm going out or planning a "free meal" I still plan ahead and think about which healthier & lower calorie options I can get at the restaurant. I'm always thinking about food prep...
SLEEP. Get good quality sleep every night. Willpower will always fail you if you are overly tired...


The touchy-feely run down

Don't starve yourself to compensate for a binge! I know it can be difficult but never ever starve/restrict or punish yourself for the binge. Return to your normal healthy eating habits and normal calorie range the next day. Forgive yourself, forget the binge, and move on.
View healthy eating and passing up sweets as a victory, not a sacrifice. Every time you eat a healthy food, congratulate yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Get excited about it! Small victories are the key to the road to recovery and health. consider starting a marble jar: For every sweet you pass up, put a marble in the jar. It's a neat visual way to see how many "small victories" you've made.
Pass up sweets/junk and binge eating as a victory, not a sacrifice. I know how terrible the feeling of missing binging can be! Even if it's a horrible habit, I know how it feels to actually miss being able to binge because it was such a long-term habit! And giving up sweets is hard but just see it as a victory not a sacrifice. Every time you pass up sweets and binge eating, you will get: better sleep, a stable mood, more energy, social confidence, and a happier you. Not to mention your body will thank you...
Ditch the food scales and calorie counting for a while. If you used to weigh out food and portions (like I did) try stopping it for a while. It will help you stop the cycle of starving/restricting during the day. Just choose healthy foods and moderate portion sizes. Then add daily cardio on top of that.
Start an exercise plan. Pair a healthy diet with a regular exercise program. Exercising will help motivate you to stick to eating healthy. It can also be a lot of fun and a way to get more social interaction and support! Try joining a running or other sports club. Or check out group classes at your gym.
Prepare meals ahead of time in tupperware containers. Knowing that you have food ready to eat for the day will encourage you to stick to your meal plan and eat healthy/normal portions. It will also help you to think twice about binge eating since your normal healthy foods will go to waste if you do. It's much easier to chose healthy options when they are readily available.
Don't grocery shop late at night or when hungry.
Avoid scales and mirrors for a while. Believe in your ability to succeed and stick to a plan. Celebrate small victories, and learn to love the intrinsic joy of exercising and eating healthy.
Continue to surround yourself with a supportive environment. Post online, hang out with health-conscious friends, join an exercise group, etc. The more support you get, the better.
Always, always, always ... keep trying! Even if you slip up and binge, don't view it as a failure. The only failure is to stop trying completely. Keep hope and know that you CAN and WILL stop binge eating. Think positively and believe in your ability to succeed. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself.


Also, from my experience, binge eating is /always/ about the food. The cause? Dieting. Almost all binge eating was caused because the person was dieting. ... Eating too few calories and/or depriving yourself will always lead to binge eating. You can fix your emotional problems, soul search, find love, reduce stress, change your location, whatever, etc... but the binge eating will always be about the food. We binge eat because food tastes good and we get a craving. It's a bad /habit/ and nothing more. The only thing you need to do to stop binge eating is ... stop binge eating! Kind of simple but it makes sense, right? To fix the problem of binge eating, you need to focus on just ... stopping the habit of binge eating. So don't make it out to be a bigger problem than it is. Knowing that you have the power to stop anytime and easily, that's a huge part of stopping the behavior. You are in control of your choices. Not the food, not other people, not the situation--YOU are. Cravings can't make you binge eat, only you can choose to start a binge or not. So just remember that you have the control and are responsible for your own choices. This sense of power and accountability helped me stop binge eating. Be /mindful/ of your choice and your actions ... and most importantly, follow the practical rules I posted above. You can't just will binge eating away, you need to make sure you are treating your body and mind with respect.

Best of luck to you!


Hi Aidanqm,

I'm glad you found a formula that works for you. That's really great.

I do need to remind everyone that reading lists like this can be dangerous for people with eating disorders, such as myself. It can be very triggering because it reminds us of the times when we were still very sick in our disease - always making plans and never sticking with them.

At OA, we have important rules for not discussing our own food plans in meetings. The reason for this is that everyone is different. Some people with eating disorders respond differently to advice just like you gave here. It can be a real binge trigger. I know that's a paradox because its all good advice. But that's why we call it an eating disorder or disease. It doesn't make sense.

For most human beings, the idea of unlimited fruits and veggies, or a "free day" are good, healthy ideas. For many compulsive overeaters, these ideas are very unhealthy. That's why we call ourselves "compulsive." We literally cannot just have one treat. We will always eat the whole box. We will always move on from the carrot sticks to the ice cream.:dizzy:

The principles of OA say that we start by recognizing that we cannot control our eating disorder by ourselves. No matter how good the advice, people come to OA with years of getting good advice and failing to follow through. After that important step, we use the principles of spiritual growth and communal responsibility to help each other do what we cannot do alone. Specifically, we stop binge eating.