Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat Mar 11 - Mar 17




BillBlueEyes
03-11-2013, 06:42 AM
It's exciting to believe that bargoo's house will happen.

My challenge is to get my taxes ready by Wednesday to take to the accountant. Our business is handled rather promptly, then we listen to her tales of travels far away. I'm always in awe, and always aware that I'm one of the folks paying for those trips, LOL.

I've let the snow interfere with trips to the gym. Have called the shoveling my exercise. It is, of course, but it's a wimpy substitute. I need to shape up - Summer, itself, might arrive which means displaying this body at the beach.


Shannon in ATL
03-11-2013, 07:21 AM
Ah, summertime wear. I'm looking forward to dresses, not so much the beach.

It is an early morning for me. Awake tossing and turning until after 3, up at 5:30, DH is sick so off to take DSS to school in a minute, then back to shower and head out to work.

Mudpie
03-11-2013, 07:51 AM
Ah summer :beach:. Is it really coming? I work at the beach so that's not a big draw for me. I prefer to go to cool ravines and listen to birds singing while enjoying a shaded warmth.

I am holding steady @ 137 lbs. Given the stress :yikes: of the last 6 months I figure I'm doing well. The weight loss to my 'summer" weight of 132/133 will begin after Easter/closing.

DH and I saw one semi yesterday. It was a wreck and lists for $400K. Real estate in Toronto is ridiculously priced. At the small detached house we went to next a little poodle greeted us at the screen door, which was locked. Despite repeated ringing of the bell no one else showed up to let us in.

I will have to keep alert for all sorts of people today who are sluggish from the time change. I too am not sleeping well but that's due to anxiety. I'm still not 100% convinced that the house closing won't somehow be stopped by my father doing something crazy. I am staying away from him. DH and I are plenty crazy enough without him adding to it.

Dagmar :crazy: :tired:


ICUwishing
03-11-2013, 08:18 AM
Yawnyawnyawnyawn! :coffee:

Pleased to report that DS was selected for one of the 8 spots on the swing choir! It's a little bittersweet because it does mean shelving the Boychoir for a year - and when/if he goes back, he will almost certainly no longer be in the treble choir. We agreed that we will attend all their concerts and continue to support them. It should be an interesting transition as my classical and opera-loving kid makes the leap into the pop, jazz and Broadway genres. :) So that concludes the craziness of figuring out the high school class schedule for next year. My work here is done! :woohoo:

It was a glorious weekend - yesterday it was 60! DH's large beehive was awake and ready to play; we were awash in our fuzzy orange and black bees as they stretched their wings and scouted the territory. Sounds like they'll have to go back in and cuddle up for a few days. I'm just happy it hasn't been warm long enough to wake up the frogs and the tree buds. It's the one year anniversary, I heard this morning, of the beginning of the long warm stretch last year that destroyed much of Michigan's fruit crop.

We have reached the end of about a 10 day stretch of carby pasta/sauce combos meant to clean out the freezer. Thank goodness. Raw veggies have never sounded, looked, and tasted so delicious!

WardHog
03-11-2013, 09:08 AM
Good morning! Yes, spring break is about three weeks away, and that means putting on a swimsuit. :eek:

My kids are home again today (teacher furlough day). Let the games begin.

saef
03-11-2013, 09:58 AM
I took about $75 in gift cards to Macys on Sunday and went through the 70% off racks like a gleaner, flipping through the well-picked-over merchandise.

From the shorts and pants that I tried on, I see my winter training has resulted in a curious problem: My waist is small but my thighs are, if anything, slightly bigger. Also, the wall-to-wall mirrors and unrelenting hard fluorescent overhead lighting is unforgiving. It made me not want to buy anything at all, but I ended up going home with a sleeveless leather vest and one of those long-sleeved, scoop- or boatneck stretchy cotton tops that I always seem to buy & then discard after I get a few drops of olive oil on the bust.

The racks were riotous with color, the spring clothes that I never buy -- because I don't do the resort thing, my wardrobe skips spring and goes straight to summer. Maybe it's because I no longer get an Easter outfit for church, as I used to do up through my teens.

I am thinking of Easter longingly, as a marker for spring. The little market down the street has forsythia branches and pussy willow out on the sidewalk, stuck in white plastic buckets, and also what looks like branches of apple or cherry blossoms.

krampus
03-11-2013, 10:34 AM
sleeveless leather vest

Yesssss! That is glorious, and I have noticed the same issue you mentioned with small waist/substantial thighs. One of the better problems to have with clothes, I think.

I've blown up 3.2 lbs "overnight" - in reality I didn't weigh until 1 PM yesterday so yesterday was probably a false low - but that was shocking to see. Lots of BF's amazing parsnip-carrot-onion-celery chicken soup apparently = lots of water weight.

Trying not to FREAK OUT since this is my highest weigh-in in months, and I didn't get to the gym this morning because my body wouldn't cooperate with (A) waking up on time and (B) going to the bathroom. Hopefully drinking an entire pot of coffee will (in the short-term) make me less irritable, since today won't be a quick or easy day at work.

alinnell
03-11-2013, 10:44 AM
My birthday dinner last night was fabulous! We started with some sushi and then I chose the shrimp and scallops for my entree (FIL did as well). DH had the surf & turf, MIL and DS had the lamb and DD had duck. I got to sample the lamb and duck and they were superb! I didn't feel too well afterward (DH thinks the pain killers and wine didn't go together well) so I ended up going to bed as soon as we got home. This morning the bruise on my thigh sprang up--strange that it took a day to show. But it's huge and very purple. I need to be more vigilant in looking for dog drool from now on.

My, oh, my it's early! Not looking forward to the day. It is, after all, Monday.

Shannon in ATL
03-11-2013, 11:03 AM
Saef, I've had the same trouble with smaller waist and bigger thighs after exercising the last few years, too.

WardHog
03-11-2013, 11:54 AM
I have this problem, too. It makes it difficult to buy jeans, especially.

Tudor Rose
03-11-2013, 12:14 PM
This time change is making me feel all wibbley wobbley, timey wimey (any other Doctor Who fans out there?). Plus it was raining when I woke up and all I wanted to do was sleeeeeeep. But I can tell spring is just around the corner just have to push through the next few weeks. I have a race this Saturday and so far the weather is showing high-30s with possible snow. But such is the life of a runner in Northeast Ohio :)

paperclippy
03-11-2013, 12:17 PM
Happy belated birthday, Allison! :hb:

Becky, congrats to your DS on getting into the choir!

Bill, luckily my taxes are (for now) still simple enough to use TurboTax. DH and I got them done and paid last month. It will be interesting to see what craziness happens next year when we add dependents and take away an income halfway through! Maybe we'll actually get a refund for once instead of owing $2k.

We need to figure out what to do about making a will/advance directive/that kind of stuff. Ultimately I think we need to have a living trust or something like that, but I don't know if it's worth the effort to set up right now. DH got the card for his parents' estate lawyer, but the guy charges at least $1500 for doing your will, more to set up a trust. That's a lot of money! I don't know what the going rate is for this kind of thing. I should ask some of my lawyer relatives and friends.

Dagmar, maybe the person whose house you went to see forgot about daylight savings? Good luck house hunting!

Saef, I've always had a small waist and big thighs/butt. When you're looking at jeans, try to always go for the "curvy" fit if they have one. I usually buy pants that have at least 1% spandex.

Thanks to the folks who are keeping us updated about Gary. I am also hoping that his release from the hospital means he is recovering.

TudorRose, I didn't catch you on last week's thread, but I'm in Indiana and our weather was also great yesterday! We opened the windows so the dog could get some fresh air. It's pretty warm today to (so far anyway) but it's raining. Oh well.

My accomplishment for this weekend: I made one panel of one set of curtains, and I finished making pillowcases for some throw pillows. I think maybe I can finish the curtains this weekend, but I need some special tools to make ties for the pillows to tie them onto my rocking chair. Also, we finished our baby registry, so I'm glad that's out of the way.

I think these kids are on some kind of 40 or 70-hour schedule. They'll move around like crazy for a day, then a medium amount, then there will be a day where they hardly move and I start worrying, then the day after they're wriggling so much I wish they'd stop. :lol: Last night I don't even know what was going on in there but I think one of them was doing flips. That one got lodged weirdly on the side of my belly so I had this big lump in one spot for a few minutes. We get measurements done again at this Thursday's ultrasound so we'll see how much they've grown since last month.

alinnell
03-11-2013, 12:21 PM
Happy belated birthday, Allison!

It's not belated. We celebrated a week early since I won't be in town on my actual birthday the 17th.

Our attorney charged us about $1900 for a trust. She has all the "will" stuff incorporated into the trust. We didn't get around to doing it until the kids were in middle school (couldn't afford it earlier) and we've gone back at least once to make changes that were necessary. I don't think we paid much at all for the changes.

Culley the office cat is really happy we're here this morning. He's acting very kitten-y and is demanding a lot of petting.

bargoo
03-11-2013, 12:27 PM
Re: Gary update, he was released from the hospital but is in a skilled nursing facility, I haven't heard if he has been released from there. Our friend is not out of the woods, yet. C-Diff is difficult to treat. Angie appreciates prayers.

Steph7409
03-11-2013, 08:11 PM
I did some spring clothes shopping this weekend too. I'm going to Bald Head Island in May and I need to have some decent clothes. I scored some great shorts and pants at BJs and a couple of cute sweaters at Target, so I'm set.

And then I bought a new car. My Honda dealer called and asked if I'd like to trade in my 2011 CRV for a 2013. It was a good deal, so I went for it. Very unusual for me, as I generally keep cars for 8-10 years. The big thing was that I talked them into installing a roof rack for $300 (down from a ridiculous $900). I'll need that for vacation, since I'm going with 2 people and 2 large dogs so we need to be able to tie a crate and a Sherpa pack to the rack.

dagmar, good luck with the house hunting. Real estate is high everywhere, but I know Toronto has been crazy expensive for a long time (it's such a great city!). And fingers crossed that your closing goes smoothly.

ICU, congrats to your son! Swing choir sounds like a lot of fun.

Jessica, $1500 for a will seems a bit steep unless you've got something complicated going on. As for your taxes, 2 new dependents next year will mean almost $8,000 off your income!

I'm off to read a book about accounting for work. My boss is irritated that I haven't read it yet but it looks incredibly boring. Ugh.

traveling michele
03-12-2013, 01:46 AM
Sorry to not comment on stuff yet, but I'm freaking out. Dh just told me that we might be moving to Beijing!

I thought my book fair this week was enough to freak out about.... I was already over the top with my stress, and now dh dropped this bomb on me.

I can't tell anyone (in real life) until I know more.... so I'll let you all in on the secret...... We did tell our girls and they were excited about the prospect....

Mudpie
03-12-2013, 06:23 AM
Sorry to not comment on stuff yet, but I'm freaking out. Dh just told me that we might be moving to Beijing!

I thought my book fair this week was enough to freak out about.... I was already over the top with my stress, and now dh dropped this bomb on me.

I can't tell anyone (in real life) until I know more.... so I'll let you all in on the secret...... We did tell our girls and they were excited about the prospect....

WOW! How exciting/scary for you!

But then again your 3FC "name" IS "traveling michele". I can't imagine a more "different" place than China in terms of language, culture, etc. But I think Beijing is becoming rapidly westernized - one of my former clients (the dog died last year) works in travel and he was one of the first agents to start tours to Beijing when it finally "opened" to western tourists.

How long would you be there?

Dagmar :dizzy:

Mudpie
03-12-2013, 06:38 AM
I am really getting the analogy thing, as far as my life situation goes :dizzy:. DH and I watched a program about hot air balloons last night.

Again this is quite flawed. This morning I imagined the house situation in terms of hot air ballooning. I can let go of a lot of the ballast and soar :D. But I risk then plummeting :eek: to earth. The alternative is to remain anchored to earth by fear and anxiety :( and never soar at all.

Think I'm gonna soar. :woohoo:

I never have let myself have the life I want due to the fear and anxiety that it will be snatched away by someone more powerful than me. I'm 56 years old now and it really is now or never. I am tired. Tired of not being able to do anything, go anywhere. Tired of being afraid of taking any steps forward. Tired of making myself :crazy: imagining all the bad things that can happen, rather than enjoying the good.

So I will buy a house I can afford with no debt but I won't settle for a house I hate because it is cheaper (which is what DH wants). And I will look at resale because I do intend to move away from Toronto and have some sort of real retirement, rather than continuing to work myself into collapse.

It's time to think of life as a positive thing.

Dagmar :cheer:

BillBlueEyes
03-12-2013, 07:02 AM
Just WOW at the thought of a stint in Beijing. What an opportunity. With zillions of challenges, of course. Just mind boggling. Good luck thinking it through.

Tudor Rose
03-12-2013, 09:27 AM
Wow, Beijing! That would be so exciting but all of that change would be also very overwhelming. Good luck with it!

Dagmar, I'm the same way, often letting anxiety and fears cause me to imagine all the bad things that could maybe happen rather than enjoy the good and I am also trying to look at life through a more positive view :) But I agree you shouldn't settle for a house you hate just because it's cheaper. the money you may potentially save won't make up for not being happy in your environment.

ChrisMohr
03-12-2013, 10:18 AM
Beijing! OMG! Stay in touch with us during the Traveling Transition... grateful for internet!!!

Our two-week-long "Restaurant Week" ends tomorrow. Karen ended up taking me out to really nice restaurants every other day at about half price. I thought, OK, she's a 30-year maintainer so if she can do this so can I. We both gained about two pounds and plan a pretty serious ten-day diet/semi-cleanse starting Thursday. I'm actually pretty happy, during this whole time I've managed to isolate each dining experience and otherwise eat very lightly. Last year I lost 30 pounds from June 1 to September 15 or so (ah, summer!). This year I have just over ten pounds to lose and I CAN DO IT!

Good luck Dagmar in your house search. Karen and I moved into our present digs in 1989 and have no intention to move again till we're too decrepit to climb the stairs. That's how much we hate moving. Unfortunately I'm married to a bit of a packrat and I can't get her to throw things away!

alinnell
03-12-2013, 10:25 AM
Bejing~wow. That would be a huge change for you. DD went there in high school and really enjoyed it, but it's such a huge city. Best of luck with whatever happens with that.

Dagmar~nice analogy. Go and soar and don't be held down by DH's desires over your own.

That blip on my scale last week (6.1 pounds overnight) was not the scale. It really was me for some strange reason. I've managed to get all but .4 of it off, but it really bugs me that it piled on so fast and then lingered. Had it been salt related, I'd think it'd have flushed faster.

We're going out with my BFF from Utah and her boyfriend tonight. I think we'll take them to a happy hour at one of the local restaurants. The one we went to Sunday has a great happy hour menu (sushi, sliders, etc.) that will be a nice change of pace for us and not too large a meal.

JenMusic
03-12-2013, 11:07 AM
Sorry to not comment on stuff yet, but I'm freaking out. Dh just told me that we might be moving to Beijing!

I thought my book fair this week was enough to freak out about.... I was already over the top with my stress, and now dh dropped this bomb on me.

I can't tell anyone (in real life) until I know more.... so I'll let you all in on the secret...... We did tell our girls and they were excited about the prospect....

Glad I lurk occasionally and saw this! :)

Michele, if this ends up happening, let me know! I lived in China from 2004-08 and loved it. I would go back for a vacation in hot minute if I could afford it. I was in far NW China, much less Westernized than Beijing, but ended up in Beijing a few times a year for flights and meetings and things. After the initial culture shock, which would be substantial, I think you'll find that Beijing is very easy to navigate and get used to.

I'm jealous! :)

bargoo
03-12-2013, 11:17 AM
Michele, Exciting news ! A bit scary, too. but what an opportunity. I know there are quite a few posters living abroad, I don't know about Beijing. I believe krampus lived abroad, Japan, I believe.

Shannon in ATL
03-12-2013, 11:18 AM
Oh Michele, that is exciting! And terrifying. Wow. :)

paperclippy
03-12-2013, 11:39 AM
Michele, how do YOU feel about going to Beijing? It would be quite a change! To provide the flipside opinion, I was there in the summer of 2004 for a few days vacationing and it's probably a place I would never go back to. The pollution was so horrible that my skin and the inside of my mouth and nose got coated with black film from going outside, the weather was extremely hot and humid, and I had trouble dealing with some of the culture shock (e.g. people don't get in line, they just push and shove in a giant crowd; people try to sell you things constantly if you look like a tourist; I had a number of bad experiences with people running up to me and waving mutilated limbs in my face to try to get money from me). I'm not saying it's all bad -- I certainly wasn't there to live, only to visit, and there are a lot of sites of cultural and historic significance in the area. I also believe that they've cleaned up the city a lot since then, particularly for the Olympics, so my experience might be totally irrelevant. FWIW I went to Shanghai in 2006 and liked it far better than Beijing. (I also loved Hong Kong which I went to in 2004.)

Dagmar, sounds like you have a plan! I don't know your DH so I don't know how it would affect your relationship, but if I were you I might pull the "It's my money, I can do what I want with it, and don't forget I'm the breadwinner of the two of us" card if he complains about what house you plan to buy. Just make sure to account for things like insurance, property tax, and home maintenance when you buy so you know how much you'll actually have to pay annually to take care of your new home.

traveling michele
03-12-2013, 11:51 AM
We would be there for 2 years. Dh has been there many times working the past few years and has told me about the horrible pollution so that is the thing I'm most worried about. That, and our pets. They have a 30 day quarantine and we wouldn't bring Jozi, our Great Dane. She had a horrible time traveling when we moved from S. Africa to the states and she was only 2 then. She is now 9 and an old woman. We would have our older dd take her (the one with Owen, the service dog, and her own kitty). We would bring our dachshund and our two kitties though. Beyond that-- I'm not sure how I feel. I barely slept at all. Just mind going crazy. We are very upside down in our mortgage and this would get us out of it, so it makes sense financially.

Jen-- It looks like a very real possibility. I'd love to hear more from you....

bargoo
03-12-2013, 11:59 AM
Dagmar, sounds like you have a plan! I don't know your DH so I don't know how it would affect your relationship, but if I were you I might pull the "It's my money, I can do what I want with it, and don't forget I'm the breadwinner of the two of us" card if he complains about what house you plan to buy..
My thoughts, exactly.

Shannon in ATL
03-12-2013, 12:10 PM
Dagmar, second what Jessica said. :) And definitely get the house that you want either way. You've worked hard for a long time for it.

saef
03-12-2013, 03:30 PM
I'll add to the drama in this thread with my own unhappiness and worries: My mother's cat, Fritz, is ill.

He had a wound on his leg that was healing strangely. The doctor first attributed it to a cat bite, then thought it might be ringworm, then sent it off to a lab for a biopsy.

In the meantime, Fritz quieted down, did not want to play, and began eating less and less. Today, he has my mother in tears on the phone with me, and me nearly in tears, too. He never came up to stay with her last night, but remained on his cat bed all night. He wasn't interested when she came downstairs. He didn't want to eat. He only drank a little water. Then he went upstairs and hid under one of the beds, in his hiding place right in front of a heating grate and between two boxes of books. He hasn't come out all day.

This doesn't sound good. My mother was going to wait for the vet to call with the biopsy results but I've advised her to call now and describe his behavior. We both feel so hopeless, though.

As for Michele's possible move to China -- now that is way up there on the list of stressful, disruptive events. Is it any more manageable to you, Michele, when you think that it would only last for two years, rather than an uncertain or open-ended length of time? For me, that would help considerably, at least as I contemplated my age-old question for myself, when faced with a life-changing choice: "What's my worst fear about being there?" Mine would probably be: "It's a permanent stay, it feels like exile, and I'm unhappy and never adapt." But this isn't permanent. Things with a duration can be bearable. (I've learned that in the gym ;-) On the other hand, the worst thing about NOT doing it might mean passing up an opportunity to change and grow, to have an adventure, or your husband forgoing career advancement -- or you learning you are more resourceful, strong, resilient & adaptable than you ever thought you were.

Dagmar, from your posts, I think that I understand how fraught your interactions with Male Authority figures can be, if they seem unhappy, disapproving or angry. But you don't always need to please or placate those figures, as you know. You can assert yourself and advocate for your own needs in this relationship. Particularly since you have the power of your own money. There are some things that are really worth spending money on, and some things that lend themselves to economizing. I think that it's smart to put money into one's home.

paperclippy
03-12-2013, 03:45 PM
Saef, sorry to hear about Fritz's illness. :hug: I agree, I would take him in to the vet straightaway. I hope they can find out what's wrong and help him!

alinnell
03-12-2013, 03:57 PM
Oh, saef, I feel bad for you and Fritz and your mom. Hiding is definitely a symptom of something awry. Hopefully it isn't anything serious and a round of antibiotics will solve the problem. Keep us posted.

Tudor Rose
03-12-2013, 04:07 PM
Oh, Saef I'm so sorry to hear about poor Fritz. I hope they are quickly able to figure out what is wrong and get him some help!

Shannon in ATL
03-12-2013, 04:17 PM
Oh saef, I'm thinking good thoughts for Fritz.

bargoo
03-12-2013, 04:20 PM
saef, so sorry about Fritz. I know how difficult it is when our beloved pets are sock.

saef
03-12-2013, 05:08 PM
Thanks, all. My mother got Fritz out from under the bed and took him to the vet, where they hydrated him (I don't know if they run a little IV line or what), gave him a shot for nausea and also a pill that was supposed to increase his appetite. They said his temperature was up just slightly, but that being at the vet's can cause this in cats. The vet still didn't have the lab work results. Anyway, he's home now. When he got out of his carrier, he ate a little. He got up in a hassock & is sitting there, my mother tells me. Which seems good, as he's not hiding.

Please keep him in your thoughts. He is beloved.

When my father was dying of cancer at home, Fritz sat n the hospital bed we'd set up in the living room right by my father's hip.

After my father died, my mother kept going partly because she had to feed Fritz, let him out, clean out his litter box. He was a great comfort to her and became a lap cat who stayed with her while she watched TV in the evenings.

And after I moved in with my mother temporarily, Fritz also comforted me, as he left my mother & started sleeping with me every night, woke up with me in the morning, and always came by the desk while I worked on the laptop to get his ears rubbed. Or else I'd play with his fishing line toy with him while I was on the telephone.

Now that I live back downstate, when my mother visits, she brings Fritz in his carrier, with his scratching post & litterbox & other assorted Fritz-related miscellanea, and he stays in my apartment with us. He isn't particularly pleased by this, but he does cuddle with us at night and likes my really deep windowsills, which are more than ample for a sprawled-out cat.

He is a good little guy, but he's 14 years old, with detectable kidney issues, that pending biopsy, and obviously, he's not well just now. Though a little better since his trip to the vet.

I didn't think that hiding away was a good sign, Allison. I definitely don't know as much about cats as some people on this board, except that I love this one the way I'd love a person.

Steph7409
03-12-2013, 07:43 PM
Saef, sending good thoughts to you and Fritz. Hydration will certainly help whatever kidney issues he might be having. But, you're right, 14 is fairly old for a cat and it makes it hard for them to come back from illness.

Michele, eek. I'd be freaking out, too, at the idea of going somewhere so far away and so culturally different from what I'm used to. I do think that Beijing cleaned itself up a lot for the Olympics but that pollution...scary stuff.

Dagmar, definitely get the house you want that fits into your budget. It's a big purchase and you shouldn't have to settle too much (although I think most of us have to settle some, since we can't afford our dream homes). And resale is a good thing to consider, if you're planning to sell when you retire.

My big accomplishment for today was figuring out how to get my Ipod to play in the new car. Nothing is ever simple - I had to get Pandora, which meant going to the Itunes store, which I just hate. And I used the backup camera to park at work - fun!

bargoo
03-12-2013, 08:54 PM
Saef, cats and dogs can sense when something is not right. Your story of Fritz sitting by your father in his hospital bed is testament to that. Try and stay strong and remember all the wonderful memories, your Mother needs your strong support right now. Hopefully Fritz will recover but I would try and be prepared for what may be inevitable.

saef
03-13-2013, 06:38 PM
Bargoo, thanks.

Thanks, all, for your kind words. If anyone understands worrying over a sick but beloved cat, you all do.

Poor little guy is hardly eating, though he's not hiding anymore. We're still awaiting test results.

Mudpie
03-14-2013, 06:16 AM
Bargoo, thanks.

Thanks, all, for your kind words. If anyone understands worrying over a sick but beloved cat, you all do.

Poor little guy is hardly eating, though he's not hiding anymore. We're still awaiting test results.

I'm sending Fritz :goodvibes . I hope the vet has some good test results for you today. Maybe your mom could put a bit of beef or chicken broth on Fritz's food as an enticement to eat it? Sometimes animals respond well to scent.

Dagmar :dizzy:

JenMusic
03-14-2013, 10:11 AM
saef - I'm so sorry about Fritz. I was never a pet person (we just never had them) but BF has a menagerie of 3 dogs and 2 cats. It's really opened my eyes to the love people have for their animals, and I'm sorry for you and your mom.

Michele - Feel free to PM me! Yes, pollution is an issue, and not a small one. The city I was in is even more polluted than Beijing, and some days were hard, but you get used to it and make adjustments. I agree with Jessica, actually; if I'd just been vacationing, China would be a really difficult place. But when you know you're living there your perspective changes.

I originally only intended to live in China for 2 years, which became 3, then 4. I only moved back to the States because my nephews didn't know who I was. :)

ChrisMohr
03-14-2013, 11:07 AM
Saef, Really really sorry to hear about Fritz. Hope things turn around for the little guy! We lost two cats in two years about five years ago and I cried for days. My pet-loving friends understood totally, non-pet-owners are often baffled (it's only a cat).

Day One of our ten-day quasi-cleanse post-Restaurant-Week-dietary-reboot begins today for me 'n Karen. I'm a little nervous but at least sort of confident. Daylight Savings Time leaves me feeling like spring is here and I am definitely responding well to the warmer temperatures and later sunsets!!!

traveling michele
03-14-2013, 11:30 AM
Saef-- fingers crossed for Fritz!!

I'm still in panic mode. Day four of my book fair and I'm exhausted and brain dead. Couple that with my two girls home from college not getting along (and one with PMS), worrying about this impending move-- there is so much to think about! We will have to move eldest dd to Houston (hopefully)-- assuming she gets a job-- move our Great Dane out there too (driving from CA to TX)-- find and settle younger dd back in college in an apartment-- but the bulk of the stress is figuring out how and when to sell our house-- what do we get rid of, what do we store, what do we ship and where to? Just so much to figure out. Not to mention figuring out where to live on the other end, how to get animals over there, quarantines, etc.....

And eldest dd wants to take a cruise this summer (family cruise) to celebrate her graduating with her masters-- and she needs it to be service dog friendly so we may be fairly limited-- some lines are better than others-- some ports are better than others (ie-- she doesn't think she wants to leave US)-- so.... we have a lot to do and figure out in the next few months-- understatement of the year.

I'm hoping my weight will just fall into line without much panic....

bargoo
03-14-2013, 12:11 PM
Michele , that is a lot going on but I want to compliment you on having such a wonderful daughter. Many daughters her age may want to go on a cruise, but heaven forbid if parents come along ! Friends, yes, but parents NO .

alinnell
03-14-2013, 12:51 PM
Michele~I don't know how you can think of all those impending changes and not go bonkers! I know I would!

DH and I met with our attorney the other day and something that came up was the last suit that we're involved in (the HUGE one that has been going on for the past 6 years is finally over and we were deemed not to blame!). One of the attorney's "solutions" was to dissolve our corporation and start a new corporation. Sure it's be a bit of a hassle, but the attorney would do the majority of the legwork but DH basically put his foot down saying that the move itself has been a huge hassle and he'd rather not do that. I said later that I didn't feel that the move was a huge hassle--not compared to getting set up to do business in another state (Washington, which we did years ago). That, to me, was a huge, huge headache and I never want to go through that again--and when it was suggested we do a job in Mexico and another in Dubai, I firmly stated NO!

Meanwhile, an update on the office cat, Culley. We've been letting him out and he will go outside for 10-15 minutes and come back! This morning, he was protesting the closed front door, so we propped it open for him. He ran back to our desks, demanded a head rub from both of us and then left for 2 minutes then had to come back to see what we were up to. When he comes back in we give him a treat. We've moved his carrier outside so in case he's gone when we leave for the day he has a place to stay, although I don't want to leave food for him out there.

Keeping Fritz in my mind today and hoping that he's feeling better.

saef
03-14-2013, 02:12 PM
Sorry to report here briefly -- in the middle of a busy day at work, with me about to meet with my manager, and working on a spreadsheet due at the end of the day -- that Fritz has been diagnosed with bone marrow cancer. He went to the vet's this morning & they determined he has severe anemia, very low blood cell count and no new cells regenerating.

After a conversation my mother & I had together about a half-hour ago, my mother has chosen to have the vet euthanize him. I told her to get a neighbor to go with her.

Me, I'm holding it in as well as possible, but once I get in the car to exit the parking lot here at the office, all bets are off.

I've told my mother that once she takes care of Fritz, and in the next few days, does whatever she must for his cremation and burial, she needs to drive down here right away and stay with me.

alinnell
03-14-2013, 02:18 PM
I'm so terribly sorry, saef. RIP Fritz. You were loved.


May I Go Now?

Don't you think the time is right?
May I say good-bye to pain-filled days
and endless lonely nights?

I've lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be,
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?

I didn't want to go at first.
I fought with all my might!
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and loving light.

I want to go! I really do!
It's difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day .

To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you're sad and are afraid
because I see your tears.

I'll not be far, I promise that,
and hope you'll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go.

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I loved you too.
That's why it's hard to say good-bye
and end this life with you.

So hold me now, just one more time,
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you'll let me go today.

Copyright Susan A. Jackson

WardHog
03-14-2013, 02:30 PM
I'm so sorry, saef. Thinking of you and your mother on this difficult day.

JenMusic
03-14-2013, 03:09 PM
I'm so, so sorry, saef.

Megan1982
03-14-2013, 03:19 PM
Wow, I have been traveling for work and have come home to big news on this thread. Saef, I'm so, so sorry to hear about Fritz. He was a good cat and a great companion. :hug: :hug: :hug:

Michele, am I reading this correctly that you're definitely moving to Beijing? Or is it still a possibility that you may not go? How scary but exciting, too!

bargoo
03-14-2013, 03:30 PM
Saef, so sorry about Fritz. Your mother has made the right decision but that doesn't make it less difficult. I do think it is wise for her to come spend some time with you.

paperclippy
03-14-2013, 03:43 PM
Saef, so sorry about Fritz. :hug:

Allison, that poem made me cry! I can't cry right now, I'm at work in an open cubicle! :p

To bring some good news to the thread to counteract the sad news, my ultrasound this morning showed that both girls are doing very well and are still equal sizes. The doctor seemed encouraged that I might be on track to avoid the complications that they commonly see in cases like mine (twins in general, and monochorionic twins in particular). Hopefully this trend will continue.

ICUwishing
03-14-2013, 04:14 PM
saef, condolences to the Fritz family. :hug:

Shannon in ATL
03-14-2013, 04:38 PM
I'm so sorry, Saef. I'm thinking about all of you today. So sad. I'm sneezing and sick today so my cat gracie has been climbing all over and checking on me all day. I'm going to let her sleep on my legs a bit instead of moving her to the floor I think.

And glad for the good news on the babies, Jessica.

CherryPie99
03-14-2013, 04:41 PM
Run free at the Rainbow Bridge, dear Fritz! Say Hi! to my belolved Maxi, and, because I'm confident that dogs and cats love each other at the Bridge even if they didn't here on earth, stick with my boys, Tucker and Riker. They both love cats and will be happy to show you the ropes in your new life!

Mudpie
03-14-2013, 05:04 PM
saef :hug: to you and your mom. Good decisions by both of you - your mom chosing to euthanize Fritz rather than letting him drag on and your having your mom come stay with you for support. Fritz was probably in a lot of pain and your mom will be with his death. I hope both of you can have a couple of good crys together.

Dagmar :(

BillBlueEyes
03-14-2013, 05:05 PM
Sorry to hear the news of Fritz, saef - hope you are able to help your mother with healing.

Neat that the twins continue to thrive together, Jessica. If they can get along together in one placenta, they'll get along in life.

traveling michele
03-14-2013, 08:54 PM
So sorry about Fritz.....

Hugs to you.....

Steph7409
03-14-2013, 10:48 PM
saef, let me add my condolences for you and your mom. Euthanasia is a horrible choice to have to make but I choose to think of it as the last caring thing I do for my pets. To quote David Sedaris, it is required.

Jessica, great news about the girls!

I hate to pile on the sadness, but I just found out my father has had a stroke and is not doing well. He's 85 so his prospects aren't good. My family is fractured so it's going to be a rough time.

bargoo
03-15-2013, 08:41 AM
Steph, sorry about your father's stroke. It is tough to see our parents get old and suffer.

alinnell
03-15-2013, 10:40 AM
So sorry to hear about your Dad, Steph. Hugs to you.

Leaving in a few hours for my drive to Mesquite--the beginning of girls weekend in Moab celebrating our 50th birthdays.

paperclippy
03-15-2013, 11:08 AM
Steph, so sorry about your dad. :hug:

saef
03-15-2013, 12:03 PM
Thanks, all, for the kind words. I forgot that grief is like a physical ache in one's body. And I can only imagine what today has been like for my mother thus far without the familiar morning ritual of being awakened by Fritz and going downstairs to feed him and fill his water dish, with him twining himself around her ankles as she runs the can opener and starts her own morning coffee.

Steph, I am so sorry about your father. In my experience, this is a hard time of year for the health of older people in my family, and I don't know why. Please remember to take care of yourself, too, despite your preoccupations.

And still there's work to do, writing to focus on, and evaluating work by my new charges for the first quarter, which is now coming to a close.

saef
03-15-2013, 12:05 PM
Jessica, your babies and your belly, round as an Easter egg, deserve their own post. They're a sign of good things to come, happy things, the renewal of life. They're the spring-y-est thing I've seen on this forum yet. I am so glad to hear that they're thriving.

krampus
03-15-2013, 12:05 PM
saef and Steph,

Sending strength to you and your families to cope during such difficult times.

bargoo
03-16-2013, 10:20 AM
Gary report. Angie posted om 3fc and Facebook. He is still in skilled nursing. He got pneumonia and infection in the blood stream but antibiotics are helping and he is a feeling a little stronger.

ChrisMohr
03-16-2013, 10:49 AM
Hang in there Gary! We sure want the best for you and all of our little community here.

alinnell
03-16-2013, 11:27 AM
Angie posted an update on Gary on FB: He's still in the skilled nursing facility fighting the blood infection and pneumonia but he's getting stronger every day. No word on when he'll be discharged though.

I'm in my hotel room in Mesquite Nevada this morning. I have a couple hours to kill before I need to head to Moab. I want to try to get there late afternoon. There were a few of the girls that were going to run the Canyonlands half marathon this morning. I understand it is a popular race and hard to get registered for it, so I expect the town (which I haven't visited for over 25 years) is pretty busy today. Thank goodness I have a navigation system in my car so I don't have to refer to maps to find my way there!

saef
03-16-2013, 12:39 PM
I didn't realize that Gary had pneumonia in addition to the infection. I'm glad to hear that he's hanging in there.

When I read stuff like this, I try to remind myself THAT is why I lost more than 100 pounds, and why I should just deal with the sight of my loose skin. Because the weight loss and exercise and eating food that serves my body is meant to put me in a stronger bodily state when & if I ever face a fight like Gary's.

(I've never thought it would **prevent** cancer, though, as I have come to believe cancer is basically a cr@pshoot, since my healthy living friends and family members have fallen prey to it just as frequently as those who have been far less diligent about taking care of their bodies.)

bargoo
03-16-2013, 12:47 PM
I didn't realize that Gary had pneumonia in addition to the infection. I'm glad to hear that he's hanging in there.

When I read stuff like this, I try to remind myself THAT is why I lost more than 100 pounds, and why I should just deal with the sight of my loose skin. Because the weight loss and exercise and eating food that serves my body is meant to put me in a stronger bodily state when & if I ever face a fight like Gary's.

(I've never thought it would **prevent** cancer, though, as I have come to believe cancer is basically a cr@pshoot, since my healthy living friends and family members have fallen prey to it just as frequently as those who have been far less diligent about taking care of their bodies.)

Yes, saef cr@pshoot is the correct medical term for cancer. Why has mine returned after 20 years ? No one knows. I am still in treatment but my experience is a stroll in the park compared to what Gary is going through.PS my doctors are pleased that I have lost weight.

saef
03-16-2013, 12:48 PM
Hating, HATING my job today, since a day and a half of being distracted over losing Fritz has put me behind on work. And I still feel lethargic and not good at focusing, but I'm gonna have to spend part of the weekend working to catch up. Sorry, but I can't completely compartmentalize and function like an efficient, unemotional machine.

And interestingly enough, because I'm sad, I feel fat, but I'm not, I'm holding just below 145, which is about seven pounds less than at this same time last year, despite all the strength training I've done in the past year & the visible upper body muscles. More evidence that I have body dysmorphia (as if I needed more) and I weirdly equate unhappiness & lethargy with fat. What the heck is up with me?

Mudpie
03-16-2013, 02:27 PM
Hating, HATING my job today, since a day and a half of being distracted over losing Fritz has put me behind on work. And I still feel lethargic and not good at focusing, but I'm gonna have to spend part of the weekend working to catch up. Sorry, but I can't completely compartmentalize and function like an efficient, unemotional machine.

And interestingly enough, because I'm sad, I feel fat, but I'm not, I'm holding just below 145, which is about seven pounds less than at this same time last year, despite all the strength training I've done in the past year & the visible upper body muscles. More evidence that I have body dysmorphia (as if I needed more) and I weirdly equate unhappiness & lethargy with fat. What the heck is up with me?

Perhaps you are grieving much more for a lost dear family member than you think? That and you probably were really unhappy and lethargic carrying around the extra weight so you still have those feelings whenever you feel "fat".

Dagmar :dizzy:

Mudpie
03-16-2013, 02:35 PM
I am experiencing a phenomenon which apparently is quite common among potential home buyers. I am really liking a house that is up for sale for no particular reason I can put my finger on. I imagine it will sell (like 4 others have) before I get the money to act but I'm going to go see it with my realtor next Saturday if it's still available. I have been to the open house twice there and won't go again today as the seller's realtor will peg me as interested. That or just :crazy:.

I'm taking DH along to go measure the basement for reno. He is still advocating buying the wreck and doing a big reno. He is also suggesting all sorts of houses in very dodgy parts of neighbourhoods right near ours.

I am also going to go look at a house in an impossible location that has charming "bones". I am not taking DH to this one. Just my own curiosity.

I am starting to believe that my "spirit of success" really has become strong and that I am going to actually buy a house. Just like a "real grownup" :rofl:

Dagmar :?: :dizzy:

Steph7409
03-16-2013, 08:41 PM
Dagmar, I wish you success in your house hunt. A big reno sounds like a nightmare to me, since projects always cost more and take longer than I anticipate. It seems like such a great idea - you'll get exactly what you want! - but the reality is usually different for those of us who aren't millionaires.

saef, I too try to remind myself that losing weight was a good thing even if I'm still heavier than I want to be and will always hate my flabby midsection. I'm still better off than I was 2 years ago!

Allison, I hope you and your friends are having a great time. I'd love to visit that part of the country some day. It looks beautiful.

As for me, the situation with my father is just awful, on so many levels. He can't communicate well, has periods of lucidity intermingled with weird rambling, spends most of his time sleeping or just not engaged, isn't eating...it's heartbreaking. Add to that his lack of money or long term care insurance, and it's pretty bleak both for him and my stepmother. It's been a really rough couple of days and I don't think it's going to get any better for a while. So I'm going to crash on the couch with my cats and watch a comfortable Midsomer Murders dvd and try not to think about it for a while.

bargoo
03-16-2013, 09:11 PM
Hating, HATING my job today, since a day and a half of being distracted over losing Fritz has put me behind on work. And I still feel lethargic and not good at focusing, but I'm gonna have to spend part of the weekend working to catch up. Sorry, but I can't completely compartmentalize and function like an efficient, unemotional machine.

And interestingly enough, because I'm sad, I feel fat, but I'm not, I'm holding just below 145, which is about seven pounds less than at this same time last year, despite all the strength training I've done in the past year & the visible upper body muscles. More evidence that I have body dysmorphia (as if I needed more) and I weirdly equate unhappiness & lethargy with fat. What the heck is up with me?

saef, you have been through so much the last few years. You have come through it all so well and now with losing Fritz it just might be the time where you can think."It is just too much, what next?" We all react differently to stress in our lives . I am in no way a therapist but my thought is that you are reacting to stress in a way that may be familiar to you.

Shannon in ATL
03-17-2013, 12:34 AM
Saef - I believe that when we feel sad and overwhelmed that we default to things we know, feelings that we can predict, a mindset that feels familiar to us. For us, unfortunately, those default feelings lead us back to the comfortable, dysmorphic pathways we have walked so well and so often in the past. I've been sick and mostly sedentary for four days now, and I've been walking those same 'I'm just fat and lazy' paths and haven't been allowing myself to heal. It is okay to be sick, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to grieve for Fritz without piling additional guilt and recriminations upon your head. Enjoy your memories of his life, reminisce and commune with your mother when she arrives and know that this grief doesn't make you less or return you to where you were years ago. You're just sad. It's okay. :hug:

Dagmar - good luck on the house hunt. It is an exciting time.

Steph - I'm so sorry about your father.

I feel pretty terrible still after almost a week. I'm supposed to be planting in my garden tomorrow, not lying in bed again. Bah.

neurodoc
03-17-2013, 01:18 AM
Just checking into this thread for the first time since 3/13. Saef, I too am very sorry for your loss. I had a cat for over 16 years, and while she's been gone for nearly 10 more now, I still miss her. I have no doubt that Fritz will keep his place secure in your heart and memory for life.

Mudpie
03-17-2013, 06:21 AM
I am starting a dogsit with "Lucy the loon" today. She is a wonderful but totally exhausting :faint: dog - the kind that you can run for 3 hours and she's ready for 3 more after a drink of water. I'm kind of relieved that my clients are coming back next Friday instead of the Sunday - will give me time to recover.

I am also going to take some time off from "all things real estate". I have imposed some kind of weird deadline to find a house and find myself wasting a lot of time looking at places I know won't work. I had a reasonable plan that I keep deviating from - kinda like dieting/maintenance :p.

I am making myself :crazy:.

DH has also thrown himself very enthusiastically into it. We are both avoiding things in our lives that have to be addressed. Mine is losing Hap :( - she's leaving March 28th. DH's is finding employment.

On the positive side of things DH has now lost 11 lbs. and is down one pants size. I think this has finally given him the incentive to really give the weight loss/fitness thing a shot. I am very enthusiastic :cheer: whenever he mentions it. I have to get back on track too - I've let the house hunt take over and I've given in to not being mindful of what I'm eating or stepping on the scale regularly.

Dagmar :tired: but :cool:

bargoo
03-17-2013, 09:17 AM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY , ALLISON !!!!!

bargoo
03-17-2013, 11:03 AM
And Happy St. Patrick's Day to everybody who is Irish, or wish they were today !!!!!!

ChrisMohr
03-17-2013, 11:07 AM
So sorry about your loss Saef... As a cat lover I literally feel your pain. And what you just said about "feeling fat" even when your scale says you are doing find is a very helpful insight for me. I too feel fat when I am carrying emotional "weight." I also feel a lot fatter when my weight is going up even a little bit than when my weight is going down--- I mean when the scale says the same weight but one day I descend to weight x and on another day I ascend to weight x. I also wonder if "feeling fat", on some physiological level, can be physiologically very similar whether it is caused by a sugar crash or an emotional crash??? In both cases maybe there's some kind of metabolic "low" our bodies experience??

traveling michele
03-17-2013, 12:28 PM
Hugs to Saef and Steph. So sorry for both of you.

We are definitely moving to China. Just freaking out about all that has to get done.

My latest freak out has to do with my pets. We had already decided not to bring our Great Dane with us as she is elderly. We are going to move her to stay with our eldest dd (once she finds a job, we find her a house/condo, etc).... we plan on bringing our Dachshund and our two kitties with us. Everything I'm reading says a family can bring a maximum of two pets into the country. Dh is telling me he is sure there will be a way around it or someone to bribe! I'm freaking out.

I'm off to yoga to chill out..... then to Nordstrom's for some retail therapy. We are leaving on a planned cruise next Friday night and I need to shop and pack for that on top of everything else!! I went to Lululemon yesterday and bought two new tops even though I hadn't reached my planned goal (122), but I'm 123 and going down..... the stress may take some weight off yet....

bargoo
03-17-2013, 02:30 PM
Michele, when will you be moving ? What a fantastic opportunity, scary, yes, but you are up to it. I like your idea of retail therapy, always helpful to calm ones nerves.

WardHog
03-17-2013, 02:50 PM
Congratulations on the upcoming move, Michele. I agree - scary, but exciting at the same time!

I have been engaging in some retaliation shopping today. I am mad at DH and instead of telling him off I am shopping. Mature, huh? It's better than retaliation eating, though. ;)

traveling michele
03-17-2013, 06:56 PM
Michele, when will you be moving ? What a fantastic opportunity, scary, yes, but you are up to it. I like your idea of retail therapy, always helpful to calm ones nerves.

Dh's start date is April 15, but I don't plan on going until sometime this summer-- probably July. Before it's "official", dh has to get his work visa and pass his physical. Assuming those both happen, we move forward. He'll figure out more this week. He will do a lot of going back and forth between the two countries in the months ahead.

Retail therapy and yoga done. Now to tackle stuff at home.....

bargoo
03-17-2013, 07:08 PM
Michele, I have heard that there are a lot of ex pats in Bejing. I would want to live near them if I could. It is good your DH is going ahead as he will be able to scout around a little re: housing, if he has time. This is an opportunity of a lifetime. I was once offered a job in Arizona, way off in the boonies almost in New Mexico I didn't take it because I thought I would be homesick !!!!!

ChrisMohr
03-17-2013, 09:28 PM
Good luck Michele don't be a stranger!

Steph7409
03-17-2013, 10:24 PM
My dad is doing much better today, so I'm hopeful. He's eating a little (I brought him ice cream tonight and he enjoyed that), doing PT and speech therapy, and is much more engaged. I know stroke victims have a lot of ups and downs so we're all trying to take it as it comes.

Michele, I hope you can bring all the pets you want to. One does get the impression that bribes are fairly common in certain areas, so good luck with that!

Shannon, what will you be planting tomorrow? It has turned cold again up here so spring seems far away. Last weekend, I noticed some little yellow flowers blooming in my yard and the spring bulbs are starting to sprout a little. I have a good spring/early summer garden but it doesn't really get going until May.