Mini-Goals - Happy but frustrated




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whos that girl
03-06-2013, 09:08 AM
Hey everyone!!...Well in the last 2 months I have lost 24lbs..I am no longer obese according to the bmi..I am out of the 200's and as of this morning now out of the 190's:carrot: and only have 29 lbs to go until I reach my goal..I am very happy..but...no one has noticed :( my hubby has been on this journey with me too, mind you he started a few weeks later than me..but he has lost almost 30 lbs and people are going crazy..constantly saying"wow have you ever lost weight" or "you look so good"..to be honest, I am a little jealous lol he tries to tell me that he can see me getting smaller, but I think he just feels bad so he says it to try and make me feel better..im not trying to impress the outside world, but when you have worked so hard..a compliment here and there always feels nice :(


betsy2013
03-06-2013, 10:04 AM
Ouch! That does have to sting. As long as he is supportive, others will come around eventually. It's great that you're doing this together, but emotionally it's always hard to accept that the pounds just seem to melt away faster for men than women. I don't know if it helps, but when I read some of the posts of other women whose DH or SOs actively try to sabotage their diets, it makes me appreciate that my family is being supportive. Hope you start getting some of that positive reinforcement that you deserve soon!

elvislover324
03-06-2013, 10:21 AM
Congratulations on your awesome loss!! And your new category!!

I have read a lot of threads on 3FC where people are nervous to say anything to a woman about losing weight in case they offend her. I have had people ask my husband if *I* lost weight!! I tell him not to tell anyone anything but come on, I have lost over 100lbs in the last 7 months so they'd have to be blind not to notice!

Your 24lbs definitely has to be noticeable, I am *positive* you'll be getting compliments soon. :) Make sure you wear smaller flattering clothes too, that will definitely help people notice. I wore the same clothes for a long time even though they were getting too big as I couldn't believe I'd actually fit in smaller ones. No one could possibly tell at that point I had lost anything.

Good luck getting to your goal!!


AlmostMe
03-06-2013, 11:48 AM
I've lost 24 lbs too - I have more to lose which makes mine a little less noticeable. Though I've been working out hard so I have to be smaller everywhere (but my arms!! they're bigger :( ) but anyway - only one person has said anything to me (besides my personal trainer).

I have to ask you.... What are you wearing? Are you still wearing the same winter sweaters and coats? 'Cos that can hide A LOT of weight loss.

firegirl441
03-06-2013, 03:09 PM
Congrats on the weight loss! That is incredible. Keep up the hard work, dress to accent your new figure, and you will start getting those compliments you so rightly deserve.

FickleHearts
03-06-2013, 03:22 PM
Grats on the weight loss!

I also feel your pain... I've lost about 25 lbs.... My husband about 35 with seemingly minimal effort.

So frustrating!!! Then he has the nerve to tell me to stop obsessing about the scale. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I told him today that it's easy for him to ignore the scale because his hormones don't hate him like mine do me. Mine like to put 5 lbs of water on me once a month. But that's another gripe.

People will notice! I'm just now getting to the point where I'm getting compliments. I bet you are looking awesome!

April Snow
03-06-2013, 03:32 PM
I started off higher but have lost just about 25 lbs since Jan 6 and no comments yet. I can totally see a difference in my clothing but it's not dramatic yet, I guess.

And I will say that when I lost 65 lbs a couple of years ago (unfortunately gained most back), the comments started with non-weight comments. So I was getting compliments on my clothing or my hair, rather than a direct question or comment about weight. I don't know if people were afraid to bring up weight, or if they truly didn't quite realize, and it just registered that I looked better than I had before without them realizing it was because I was smaller.

But within a few more lbs people did start to specifically mention that I had lost weight. My guess is that will start happening for you any day now, esp if you do start wearing different clothing that fits your new size more specifically.

1987
03-06-2013, 03:34 PM
Maybe you just carry your weight better? That's a good thing if so!

But yes, maybe people are a little cautious to make comments to you. Who knows. Regardless of the words of others, you should be mighty proud of yourself!

Well done on your weightloss to date! :carrot:

Novus
03-06-2013, 03:48 PM
People that you see every day aren't as likely to notice because their brain just adapts to the changes as normal. It's only when it's incredibly obvious that something will trip in their brain and they'll be like, "Wait. She hasn't always looked like that, has she?" I bet if you saw someone who hasn't seen you since before you lost any weight, they'd notice immediately!

whos that girl
03-06-2013, 05:19 PM
Thank You so much everyone :) I have been wearing the same clothes as before..so im guessing that is part of the problem..lol..there not able to tell under the hoodies and winter coat(its still pretty cold here) I saw my parents last weekend though for the first time since Christmas and wore a smaller shirt..they said I "looked nice"although no mention of weight loss but they sure gushed about the hubbys weight loss grrrrrrr lol Im planning a shopping trip in April...so maybe by then with some new clothes I might get a compliment or two :)

Mozzy
03-06-2013, 05:23 PM
Congrats

MadCowOnTheMend
03-06-2013, 05:30 PM
My husband and I went through the same exact scenario several years ago. I really think it came down to people feeling more comfortable complementing a man.
Have you measured yourself before and after? I always find the loss of inches to be more inspiring. It feels more "real" to me. A number when I step on the scale is private unless I share it. But inches lost? That seems so much more tangible and rewarding!!

Congratulations on such a great loss!!

whos that girl
03-06-2013, 06:06 PM
@Mad cow...no I havent measured inches..wish I had though..but I have been taking side view bare belly photos since day one ...and there is a big difference, when the clothes are off of course lol

ReillyJ
03-06-2013, 07:29 PM
Thank You so much everyone :) I have been wearing the same clothes as before..so im guessing that is part of the problem..lol..there not able to tell under the hoodies and winter coat(its still pretty cold here) I saw my parents last weekend though for the first time since Christmas and wore a smaller shirt..they said I "looked nice"although no mention of weight loss but they sure gushed about the hubbys weight loss grrrrrrr lol Im planning a shopping trip in April...so maybe by then with some new clothes I might get a compliment or two :)

Yes! buy new clothes and don't be afraid to buy them form fitting (but obviously not too tight) the biggest mistake some can make is to constantly wear baggy clothes thinking it hides the pounds. Also i agree that it is more "iffy" to compliment women because you don't want to offend them with compliments about weight loss if it hasn't been drastic just because you don't want to infer that they needed to lose (stupid, yes, i know :)

wannaskipandlaugh
03-06-2013, 08:02 PM
Oh :congrat: to you! That is so wonderful.

As the noticing... sometimes people just don't see differences in certain people. I think (reading other responses) that if you are not wearing more form fitted clothes that your new slender figure is hiding? And there is the comments that people make about others losing weight and they haven't (sickness etc) and people get embarrased. I say.. Strut your stuff and THEY will NOTICE! :)

beachluvr79
03-06-2013, 08:22 PM
Oh heck girl. It's your clothes. I lost about 30 lbs and was wearing the same clothes. Last friday I bought a new top and pants that fit and I got tons of comments. You don't realize how loose your old clothes are. Go shopping!!!

MadCowOnTheMend
03-06-2013, 09:02 PM
@Mad cow...no I havent measured inches..wish I had though..but I have been taking side view bare belly photos since day one ...and there is a big difference, when the clothes are off of course lol

Well if that's the case, you need to go shopping!!! Congratulations on such a change. Get some new clothes to enjoy. :hug:

whos that girl
03-06-2013, 09:06 PM
LOL..thanks everyone :) so glad to have this site and all of you for support and encouragement

nitrus29
04-01-2013, 12:24 PM
Congratulations !!! You have come a long way !!:carrot:

and I can understand your frustration.. a compliment here and there does FEEL GOOD !! If you are not getting enough already.. give it some more time..

Just remember ~ "It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing, 8 weeks for friends and family and 12 weeks for the rest of the world. Give it 12 weeks. Don't give up "
:jig:

:twirly: