Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss - Oh. My. Lanta. Where the heck did that come from/go?




tubolard
02-26-2013, 09:00 PM
I am down about 80 pounds so far, 30 from goal. I knew there would be.....issues after losing so much weight but dear sweet Lord, all I want is a nice shape. :tantrum:
I bent over last night and my boobs were like tear drops, my belly skin was hanging down in at least 2, I don't even know what to call them, plops? They looked like nippleless boobs. I stood up so fast I almost gave myself a nosebleed.
My lower belly looks like I don't even know what, all squishy and with stretchmark white lines running all crazy over it (I have an almost overwhelming urge to do the truffle shuffle when I see it and I faintly hear Cyndi Lauper in the background singing about Good Enough???) and it just looks bizarre and well, kind of gross.
My thighs have these little..... flaps? Anna Richardson calls them thingo wings, bingo wings but on the thighs, lol. They aren't huge but they are just blech.
Last night during (tmi) sexy time with hubby. I looked down and my boob was so far away from me I think it was trying to run away. I had to reach out, pick it up and put it back where it actually belonged! I was hoping hubby didn't see me have to do that :( :o :o :o
Hubby says he thinks I am beautiful, but I don't see how. I thought I wanted to lose weight, but I almost think being heavier can't possibly be as bad looking as what I see now. (I don't really believe that deep down, I like looking nice in clothes now). I think I have even gotten checked out a time or two, and I don't mean at the register. :faint:
Does the skin ever get better? I know it will never be perfect, I don't expect the stretch marks to disappear magically, I know that I will show the reality of the damage I have done to my body for the rest of my life. But great googily moogily, I guess I didn't think it would be this bad :(
Don't get me wrong, I would rather be the saggy baggy skinny than the filled out version of me but......:dunno:
On the good side, I feel muscle under the squishy tummy, even when I am relaxed, there is muscle. Along my sides too. I have a space between my thighs now. My double chin is gone, I have cheekbones. I have actual bicep muscles you can see, I wish the bingo wings, bat flaps whatever you call them weren't there but I think they seem to be getting smaller the more tricep work I do. :crossed: I actually have muscle tone all over now, not much yet, but it is a start. :yay:
My wrists are downright tiny, my feet are, well to honest a bit creepy to me, I can see bones and veins in them and my hands. My ribs and hips hurt when I lay on them because there isn't as much fat padding them. I actually can see ribs poking out, not much, just at the bottom part where they stick out the farthest but still, I can see them, along with the points of my hip bones.
I am trying not to be too upset with it, I knew it would happen, and that maybe the skin will tighten a bit, maybe it won't. I am just shocked at what I see now and I guess it hurts me a bit to see what I have done to myself. :(
I know I am not alone feeling and looking like this, I guess I just need to know others are going through this with me.


berryblondeboys
02-26-2013, 09:31 PM
First of all, I LOVE your style and descriptions. I totally get it!

First question is, how fast did the weight come off? This might give me an idea of how much more shrinkage you'll get.

Many people think that losing slower prevents lose skin, but that's only a half truth. Skin shrinks up slower than fat can disappear, so if If you lose slower, you don't have as much of the temporary loose skin. Down side is that you aren't as thin as quickly!

But I totally hear you. I have terrible underside of the arm flaps, my boobs are like water balloons being held by the knot (i'm large chested), so yes, a type of tear shape and yes, definitely to the nippleless boobs of hanging skin. WHich is why I wear compression clothes when I work out.

Some of that may shrink up. It might not all. For me, I definitely see less of it than I did a year ago, but it's still that squishy, "I just had a baby" wobbly stomach - with tons of wrinkles of the stretch marks from having babies. My tummy at the bottom kind of looks like a paper all folded up finely to make a fan.

I just tried to google some images, but it's hard to see.

Anyway... my husband is totally uncaring of the loose skin. He LOVES the firmer, thinner body. It's my hang-up, not his and I try not to dwell on it as at least I'm healthy now.

ReillyJ
02-26-2013, 10:11 PM
Ummm, HUGE YES to everything you said, i'm dealing with all of it, i'm pretty much at goal after losing roughly 90 lbs (i don't have a scale so i don't really really how much i've lost) but i'm dealing with all of that and especially what you described around the gut area (both upper and lower tummy) and it makes me feel like i still have more fat to lose even though i'm slim everywhere else--i don't know--maybe i still do have some belly fat to lose but i sure as heck don't want to lose any more everywhere else!!

i think the saggy belly is what's keeping me from calling it goal and posting pics although maybe i should just go ahead and do it, i'm super envious (not jealous but just envious) of the lucky ones on here that have anywhere near a flat belly with hardly any loose skin but..... i would NEVER want any of that weight back on me because in my opinion, clothes do make up for it. One really cannot tell that much what we're dealing with when we have our clothes on and i really doubt that husbands spend too much time worrying about us if i have perceived men correctly, they really don't expect us to look like supermodels but that really doesn't help our heads any, i know!!

i don't think you can expect too much in the loose skin shrinkage department from what i understand. i so feel your angst about it, i deal with it every day and especially hate that tummy sag that is apparent through some tops but when i'm clothed i take time to enjoy what i've achieved and TRY not to let what's underneath steal my joy!


berryblondeboys
02-26-2013, 10:28 PM
Reilly - it's almost certainly just loose skin. Women have thicker fat layers with their skin, so when you look up loose skin, don't look at men's loose skin. Women won't look like that. They will have some fat with that skin in the arms, tummy, thighs.

And yes... last year I "thought" about getting a bikini. Um. No. Way too much wiggly stuff! And loose stuff. ugh....

My arms are really bad and what I hate the most. I could almost take off with the way the wobble to and fro and of course in fitness class it is a bit discouraging to see it flapping away!

ReillyJ
02-27-2013, 02:28 AM
Soooo, i googled loose skin on women and came up with a couple images (this is NOT me) of what my tummy looks like (i'm a little trimmer than the frontal pic of the tummy) and i hate that little flap that hangs over the belly button the most, believe it or not. i hate the "apron" too but that can usually be compressed by jeans but ugh the "spare" tire around the middle...i'm actually losing a bit more and it's going down a bit but i guess this is what i'm going to be stuck with? Which is why i'm looking at compression garments, spanx, etc. and tubolard, maybe that is what you should look into if you're concerned about how you look in clothes?

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSN2ce7DCbVxA3mqR_ZhB-3uobAxk9F99UDz866m3bvI190-tFI5Q

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRnpfCa-QwGDHOj6g06HFIo4LhxBSP1-ItKxEfw1U5GFDRSbjXv

LockItUp
02-27-2013, 11:01 AM
I can definitely relate. I think what's also hard is, at least for me, the more weight I lose the more kind of vain I've become and the harder on my appearance I am. 220 pound me would have embraced the jiggles and have been thrilled just to wear normal clothes. I would have considered myself skinny where I am now, yet I don't feel that way.

I agree about the shapewear. Though that doesn't help in the nude.

I look alot like the pic above, the top pic, with a little less lower tummy hang.

I hold hope that over the next year, with weight training, and maintenance, that things will tighten a bit. And if not I will work on self acceptance more.

tubolard
02-27-2013, 12:56 PM
I started losing weight and working out/eating better on October 3rd of 2012, so I have lost this much weight really quickly.
I am a lot more vain as well, lockitup! I am starting to be more interested in girly colors and clothes that actually show my shape, not hide it away.
I know my brain hasn't caught up to my body yet, I still see myself as fat in the mirror sometimes, and I have to tell myself that my brain is lying to me.

ReillyJ
02-27-2013, 02:14 PM
I know my brain hasn't caught up to my body yet, I still see myself as fat in the mirror sometimes, and I have to tell myself that my brain is lying to me.

Congrats!! pat yourself on the back

i can completely relate about the mirror, i have to sneak up on it sometimes in case i see a fat girl instead of how i really look :(

BreathingSpace
02-27-2013, 03:43 PM
I started losing weight and working out/eating better on October 3rd of 2012, so I have lost this much weight really quickly.
I am a lot more vain as well, lockitup! I am starting to be more interested in girly colors and clothes that actually show my shape, not hide it away.
I know my brain hasn't caught up to my body yet, I still see myself as fat in the mirror sometimes, and I have to tell myself that my brain is lying to me.

I think your skin will improve greatly as time goes on. You've lost 80 lb since October?!!! That is really, really quick, your skin is probably like "what the **** just happened here?" in total shock.

Give it a chance to tighten up and adapt. That is what human creatures are best at - adaptation. I bet a 6 months to a year from now you will be much happier with how you look.

In the meantime, now focus on tightening up - strength training and I know I always say this in all my posts, but I'm a HUGE fan of hot yoga and how it tightens my body. I have 50 lb in total to lose (lost 20 so far) and this is the 3rd time losing that much and I have to say hot yoga is doing wonders for me. I highly doubt I will end up with loose skin anywhere because of it.

:hug:

berryblondeboys
02-27-2013, 03:51 PM
I started losing weight and working out/eating better on October 3rd of 2012, so I have lost this much weight really quickly.
I am a lot more vain as well, lockitup! I am starting to be more interested in girly colors and clothes that actually show my shape, not hide it away.
I know my brain hasn't caught up to my body yet, I still see myself as fat in the mirror sometimes, and I have to tell myself that my brain is lying to me.

Holy moly! How did you lose it so fast? That's like lightening speed!

And I agree - your skin will get a lot better. It's just slower to shrink up. it might not get perfect, but it is still tightening up.

Vex
02-27-2013, 09:04 PM
Yep, I've got that lovely (not) shape now too, and am entirely self conscious with my husband.

Guess what though? If your husband is like most married men, he's happy to be having sex at all and probably doesn't care one bit about what you look like in bed, as long as you're naked. :)

epi123
02-27-2013, 11:38 PM
I started losing weight and working out/eating better on October 3rd of 2012, so I have lost this much weight really quickly.
I am a lot more vain as well, lockitup! I am starting to be more interested in girly colors and clothes that actually show my shape, not hide it away.
I know my brain hasn't caught up to my body yet, I still see myself as fat in the mirror sometimes, and I have to tell myself that my brain is lying to me.
I relate to this as well. Sometimes I get dressed in the morning, and I feel like "wow, I look pretty good". Later on in the day, I'll catch my reflection in a mirror or window - "I thought I looked good this morning? Really?" Maybe I should just stick with the morning look loo and run passed all reflective surfaces for the rest of the day.


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LockItUp
03-01-2013, 10:29 AM
Yep, I've got that lovely (not) shape now too, and am entirely self conscious with my husband.

Guess what though? If your husband is like most married men, he's happy to be having sex at all and probably doesn't care one bit about what you look like in bed, as long as you're naked. :)

Truer words have never been spoken!

I relate to this as well. Sometimes I get dressed in the morning, and I feel like "wow, I look pretty good". Later on in the day, I'll catch my reflection in a mirror or window - "I thought I looked good this morning? Really?" Maybe I should just stick with the morning look loo and run passed all reflective surfaces for the rest of the day.


Posted from 3fatchicks.com App for Android


OMG that happens to me all the time. I'll always say "welp, I looked at myself too much and now I'm ugly". Honestly I'd rather walk around all day thinking I look fabulous even if I don't rather than feeling like crap so I really try to just not look all too much.