Weight Loss Surgery - No "honeymoon" for me apparently :(

02-26-2013, 07:05 PM
I'm new here, really in need of support. I'll try to keep this brief.

I am 5'4"/ 36 years old/ Female

Pre-surgery weight: 245

Day of surgery: 238.2

So, I am now six months post op, and I am around 169-170 lb. I guess I'm an incredibly slow loser. So I've lost only 68 lbs in 6 months. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to others, but come on, of course we all do it. I just don't know what has happened. I have had to fight for ever lb lost since I reached around 185...

I'm not sure what is going on. I am compliant with the surgeon's plan I'd say 99% of the time: exercising 5-6 times per week. I run for about 30 minutes, walk at a steep incline, I usually burn 500 cals per workout, I get my 70g protein, drink my water, and stay away from carbs. Usually I eat 2-3 small meals per day.

I refuse to fail at this. I should not be in maintenance this early out. I have gone to different "support" forums that accuse those who are not fast losers of cheating or failing their RNY. Well, I will not accept this because I am not one who has fallen off the wagon. I know that I should not weigh everyday, but I weight at least twice per day. After becoming so frustrated at not losing, I have resorted to drastic measures. I am now back on full liquids...Obviously I will be talking to my surgeon about my concerns (next week for my 6 month check up), but I just cannot continue doing the right thing and getting minimal to NO results :(

Thanks in advance for listening...


02-26-2013, 08:47 PM
Hi Rainy! i saw your profile - Havanese are sooooo adorable! I just love their fluff and sweetness.

and welcome to this corner of 3FC. We're not going to rant at you for working/not working the RNY. So many things go into weight loss that, unless you're spending your days eating M&Ms and donuts, sometimes all that's needed is tweaking.

first of all - I'm glad you're going to talk with your surgeon about this. I'm hoping he'll order blood work - we don't want any deficiencies or imbalances. has the dietician been of any help [a sore subject with me]?

IN GENERAL, you were a relative lightweight at surgery, and, as we all know, even doing it the old fashioned way, the closer we get to goal, the harder it is to lose. and we hate it. it should move FASTER the closer we get, right? it's only fair.

For surgeries, 'success' is defined as losing 50% of your excess weight. On your surgery day, you weighed 240 [round number], and today, you're at 170 - a loss of 70 pounds. your goal of 130 means that you wanted to lose 110 pounds. So, to date, you've lost 63% of your excess weight. By the standard definition of success, you've done it!!!!

Yeah - i get it - you're not happy with it. When I asked my surgeon how much weight I could lose [because I'd read that many people never reach their goals], he said that it was up to me - that i had the control. So that's the way I look at it - not at the rest of it.

At first glance, I wonder if you're eating ENOUGH. I see that you're hitting your protein goals, which is great - and what's the rest of your food like?

the other thing to consider is that our bodies get used to a certain exercise routine. If we do the same exercise over and over again, it adjusts to that. The one thing that I've found helps break stalls/slow downs [besides drinking extra water], is INTERVALS.

have you ever done them? on your run, alternate running FASTER with your normal pace. So, every few minutes [5? 10?] you have a burst of speed for as long as you can stand it - even 10 seconds can work, if done over and over again] If you can maintain it for 60 seconds, so much the better.

on your walks, break into a run every few minutes. I preferred bike riding [easier on my old knees], and it actually was FUN! you might want to consider adding strength training to build muscle. muscle burns fat. we want that.

i hope this helps in some small way -

02-26-2013, 10:04 PM
Weight loss can seem sooo slow after surgery. I think we expect much higher returns because, lets face it, shouldn't eating minimally and exercising religiously result in bigger losses?

But, Jiffy gave you some excellent insight. A loss of 63% in six months is above average. The average is 50% excess weight loss in the first six months. Remember that just looking at the number of pounds lost of others doesn't take into account what the % of loss is. You are above average in this regard.

As you get closer to your goal weight, your loss will lessen considerably. Is your goal weight realistic? Sometimes what we think the magic number should be isn't what our bodies agree with. Also, and I'm not sure how accurate this is, but if you have been morbidly obese for a long period of time, our bodies compensate by having denser bone structure (from what I've read). So, we want a goal of 130 (for example) and get angry when we can't get below 140, yet we don't take into account that our final weight does include those denser bones we may not have had when younger.

Finally, I have to second Jiffy's advice. Have you tried upping your calories? If you are exercising that intently and just eating 2-3 meals a day, you could be sabotaging your efforts. Have you tried eating smaller meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism up?

It is so frustrating when the scale doesn't move. But you are losing and the honeymoon period is not over yet. You have definitely not "failed" your RNY; your journey is just moving down a path you didn't expect. I wish you much luck.

02-27-2013, 11:49 AM
Thanks both of you for your thoughtful replies. I started to get concerned when I saw so many had viewed my post not not replied. I am starting to feel better and really taken what you both have said into consideration. I know that part of me is just being impatient, but another part is just afraid of failure. I will keep doing what I am doing and have faith that I will soon reach my goal.


02-27-2013, 11:57 AM
glad to help! about the number of views on a post - don't give them a second thought. this site has A LOT of members, but even more lurkers, and lurkers aren't allowed to reply. Also, because we have a lot of people who would be only too happy to swoop in here and say 'see? we told you WLS was wrong and we told you not to do it, and now look at what's happened,' we have a sticky at the top of the forum telling people that if they haven't had surgery, they're not allowed to post if they're going to be critical of the surgery or tell us we did it wrong.

My suggestion: keep your eye on RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow, not what someone else is doing. just on now - your food, water, exercise. step by step - and tomorrow will take care of itself. and experiment a little! switch up your exercise, try some new taste combinations. I got sooooo sick of mixing protein with milk or water that i took the brave step of mixing it with plain yogurt just for a change. it worked!

Attitude is everything - if you think you're going to fail, then you will. If you think you're being 'punished' for not following some life rules or other, it'll be harder to keep on track. Surgery is not a punishment for failure - it's a chance to re-start the system and to learn what food's proper place is in your life. It's such a relief to not be obsessed about it - either what i'm going to eat or what i can or can't eat.

02-28-2013, 04:24 PM
Hun I would KILL to be 169, I think 68 lbs in 6 months is AMAZING. You haven't failed at all, you are just so eager to get to 130 I think you aren't seeing how much you have accomplished so far! :)

03-06-2013, 12:12 AM
Looking at your weights, it looks like you and I are very similar, although I'm just now preparing for surgery. One of the things that I am trying to prepare myself for is to look at my long term goal and not get focused on how much I can lose right away. For me, I know that has been where I failed before. I got so caught up in the "sprint" of losing that I never prepared for the cross country long run of weight loss. Does that make sense? I mow that I can diet. I know hat I can lose. I want to focus on my forever and look at the goal end maintenance from day one. Learn not to rush, b up to Dow complete job of setting myself up for long term success. I hope I'm where you are at after 6 months of surgery!

I know that you feel discouraged, but reading where you are at already is an encouragement for me. :-)

03-10-2013, 01:44 AM
Agree with all of the above! I also get worried that I haven't lost enough or fast enough. It's hard not to compare! Ni think you're doing great! Keep your chin up and keep tweaking things. I can tell you're gonna keep going gangbusters!

03-11-2013, 04:36 PM
I am at 172, 7 months out. I have lost 108 lbs since my pre-op but I have had several stalls! The one I just broke was 2 months long! When I am not stalled I will loose about 1-2 lbs every week or so.. far from the 1-2 lbs a day I was losing in the start. You should change up your work out some so your body will not get used to it. I do this when I stall now and it helps. Also, you are burning a lot more calories than you are taking in. Make sure you are not having too much of a deficit in your calories in/out. Too much and you will slow down your weight loss.
It's a hard balance for sure. I am right there with you. Just keep going forward and know that you have conquered the hard part. You got moving and healthy!

I know how frustrating it is to be so close and feel like your never going to get there. I have just had to take a breath and lean how to enjoy how much better things are from where they were.. in the year I have been watching the scale to see if it's moved.. a whole year of my kids and my life has passed. I'm learning to enjoy that more than seeing the numbers on the scale move 2 lbs.

Keep your head up, I think your doing great!

03-14-2013, 04:12 AM
Sounds like you are also exercising a lot and we all muscles weigh more ;) You're doing great! Weight loss is not only to be thin but mainly to be healthy..and you are on the BEST possible way.

03-22-2013, 05:43 PM
I wanted to chime in with support. I am nearly a year out from surgery & have lost 89.5 lbs--surgery day weight 251.5--so I'm older, shorter, & fatter than you :D. I know that many others have lost all the weight by a year out, but I still have about 22 lbs. to go & I have also adjusted my goal weight up. Before surgery, I thought that I wanted to end up at 125 (I'm 5'3"), but now that I am further down the road, I don't think that I will be happy at that weight--too skinny for me. I feel like I have not really had much of a "honeymoon" period either because I really did not lose my appetite for very long after the surgery so I still battle hunger--my biggest enemy. I am also losing at a much, much slower rate than I was in the beginning so for a while I also feared that I was going to "fail". Now, I just have to think about where I used to be & not focus so much on my actual day to day weight. I know what works (what has been working) & I know that if I just keep with the program, the right things will happen.

I definitely think you should talk with your surgeon, but I also think you should stop weighing yourself more than once a week. Celebrate the 68 lbs you have lost because that is AWESOME! Celebrate that you are healthier than you were 6 months ago. Know that there is no time limit on this. Don't create a deadline in your mind, or let what you read or what other people say to you give you a false sense of urgency. This is your life & how it's going to be & it's all GOOD. It will come off when it comes off because you are committed & you are doing great.