My family and I recently moved into our new home and I am still unpacking boxes. The most recent box I unpacked had my clothes in it. I had to wash everything because it had been in storage and as I'm taking every thing out of the dryer and putting it on hangers I'm thinking "Why don't I ever wear this?" The clothes weren't my professional clothes from when I was working, but rather nicer casual clothes. Everything I hung was really nice and attractive and I couldn't remember the last time had worn it. A couple of things I took the tag off of to wash. The whole time I am thinking "These are really nice and don't look like 'fat girl' clothes at all".
Then I got hit with an epiphany. I don't wear these clothes because all I want to wear are 'fat girl' clothes. I live in my sweats and yoga pants (do they still count as yoga pants if no yoga is done in them?). I don't wear my cute sandals because all I want to wear are my sneakers and crocs (don't judge me). I also don't take the time to do my make up, or do my hair, can't remember the last time I did my nails, etc. I don't do any of this because I feel like, why bother?
And, believe me when I tell you, that is not me. I am a girly girl on the inside and wouldn't run out for a gallon of milk if I wasn't in full make-up before I gained the weight. But now I just throw on a pair of stretchy pants, a clean shirt, throw my hair up in a pony and go. Maybe I'll put on some lip gloss if I can't find my chapstick.
Well not anymore. I'm already fat, and I'm gonna be fat until I get the weight off, but I can dress that fat up in fabulous clothes.
I know that feeling all too well. I think it was part of the depression I was in for years about being big. I didn't really get motivated to lose until I realized how bad I looked and that I wasn't taking any care of myself in any way.
When I was at my heaviest I felt overall 'blaaaah' and was doing the same things. As soon as the first ten pounds came off, I realized how much I wasn't like my normal, super girly self. So I started doing my makeup and nails and hair everyday. I still have what I call my 'bum' days when I just put on comfy clothes and put my hair in a cute sidebun and dab a little bit of lip gloss with a sweep of mascara, but I realized when I take that time to care for myself and love myself, it makes a big difference in my confidence!
I can't tell you how many times I've read here about people (including myself) that have done the same thing - wearing dumpy clothes, no makeup, not doing your hair, etc. As they lost weight, many found that they discovered a new pride and interest in improving their overall appearance.
For me, the reason was that I never wanted to see "the best I could possibly be" and be disappointed. I fooled myself, telling myself it's because I'm "low maintenance" when in fact I just didn't have any pride in myself in regards to my appearance.
I realize still that yes, I am a low maintenance type person, and get to wear jeans every day to to office, but that doesn't mean I don't do my hair, put on makeup, wear nice casual clothing and even (gasp) jewelry. Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you need to look like you just fell out of bed.
i reached my heaviest at 266 and then my boyfreinds step father took me to the side and talk me that i needed to lose weight. i was shocked at first but then i realized that i DID need to lose weight and be healthy. ive since then lost 20lbs and im really excited. i really hope u get to find what works for you and u lose the amount that you want to!
Yet again this forum has helped me understand that I'm not the only one doing these things. I have started taking much better care of myself both from a dieting/health perspective and from a general grooming perspective. I'm amazed at the difference in how it makes me feel. It feels good to care again.
I did dress up this morning. I am at the hub's office helping with paperwork and spreadsheets. Hub's asked me why I was so dressed up and I just told him I was tired of looking frumpy and these clothes wouldn't fit much longer so I was going to enjoy them while they did.
I had a moment like this yesterday. I was standing in line behind this well dressed, attractive (thin) young woman, and I felt frumpy and hideous. Usually I would just blame it on my weight, but I realized yesterday that it was getting to be less of a valid excuse as I got smaller. I felt gross because my greasy hair was up in a pony, I was wearing a pair of old jeans that are now way too big everywhere, and I hadn't plucked my errant chin hair in a while. What's my excuse????
I take this as a great sign that my self esteem is coming back, because it's the first time I took the thought process beyond "I'm fat and ugly". And I put the effort in this morning, and I feel good about it.
Me too! I can completely identify with the pride in being low maintenance. I wasn't the woman that needed "all that superficial stuff." But somewhere in my journey that changed. I think it was about the time that my mental state shifted from losing weight because I hated myself to losing weight because I loved myself. Then, self care didn't seem so indulgent. I felt like I was worth it. I would always joke that my two little girls left the house every morning with matching clothes, their hair done and everything in its place - but that I threw my hair up in a sloppy pony tail and made sure my clothes weren't too bad. I barely ever wore jewelry and never had any "details." Just a plain pair of dress pants and a plain, solid colored sweater. Half the time I didn't bother with makeup. So, it was clear that to me, my girls were worth it, but I didn't think I was.
I don't think the "switch over" had anything to do with losing a certain amount of weight. It did help to be able to wear necklaces and shoes with heels and clothes that didn't have to hide this or that. But, the "click" happened before that.
In fact, I've learned that when I need a restart or a push to keep going with my weight loss, I go to self care before I go to food/exercise. Just taking the time to pamper myself a little makes me want to start putting healthy foods in my body and enjoying how it feels to move it - and then weight loss starts. It's a lot easier to start a program by doing my nails or shaving all of my legs or committing to wearing makeup. For me, it makes all the difference.
that I'm not the only one. I had this moment today, when I was getting ready to go get the kids. I'll be honest, I haven't felt great today and spent the whole day in bed. As I got up to get dressed in the same bum clothes that I wear almost every day (I do wash them, yay), I realized that I didn't want the teachers and hubby's new co workers when I go to pick him up to see me in the same baggy *** LSU shirt that they've seen every day. So I slapped on some mascara and actually pulled out my jeans and cami and a decent bra, found my cute skully cardigan and got dressed. And you know what? I feel better than I have in days. Must remember this.
Bringing Sexy Back
