Again, the title might not be as you think.
I don't mean generally, I embrace death with open arms (lol maybe I'm being dramatic) but let me get to my point. While losing this weight I have an irrational fear I'm more prone to dying, because maybe I wasn't meant to be happy and be in a healthy body.
I'm scared I'll do something to kill myself, or die in an accident before I can live life in a normal body with a normal weight. Of course I don't feel like this 24/7 but I've felt like this over ten times now. It's like I think some force is out to get me and I won't be able to continue my journey.
Do you think you might have perhaps an anxiety issue? I used to sometimes worry about something similar and I happened to mention it to my doctor and she said I had mild anxiety. My son also has an irrational fear of dying, also not all the time, but it comes and goes. He's on a low-dose of Prozac. What I would recommend is that if it doesn't go away, talk to your doctor. Good luck.
Yes, you fear happiness will be taken away from you because it's probably a common theme in your life. You figure you'll lose weight only to have something worse happen to you. You have what sounds like a case of mild anxiety.
I say keep at it and if you're still not happy when thin, which you may not be, address that with therapy.
I suffer from depression and anxiety and mild OCD. When I am happy I always fear the depression coming back, which makes it hard to stay happy because I know it will end. I have calmed down a bit, I started taking magnesium because the hubby bought it. I noticed when I would not take it my anxiety would get the best of me. So I researched it and found it calms anxiety and helps you sleep better, which I so needed. Try it out if like me you can't see a doctor or don't want to rely on anti anxiety meds.
I don't have depression or anxiety.
But what novangel said made sense to me..
"Yes, you fear happiness will be taken away from you because it's probably a common theme in your life. You figure you'll lose weight only to have something worse happen to you."
Your post brings me back to a common reaction of people who comment on someone's weight loss... 'is it intentional? are you OK?'
Like it's find to walk around with extra pounds, but loss of that weight is interpreted as a sign of illness. Then comes the '...don't lose too much...'
Yes, you can lose weight, enjoy life, and be healthy. Remember . . . you are meant to be happy...
OMG, I have this same fear!!!! I'm sooo close to weighing 199 pounds (a weight I haven't been in 20+ years). I'm getting married this December (I've been with my guy for over 20 years) and I was supposed to go on a cruise 4 years ago but couldn't go because I had cancer! (I needed surgery) And now I'm going on the cruise in 2 weeks with my sis but now that I'm the smallest I've been in decades and my cruise is FINALLY happening and I'm getting married this year, I'm CONVINCED that I'm going to croak before any of it happens!!!! It sucks! I'm a very happy person otherwise, but I just can't shake this feeling. Good luck to you!
I feel the same way Babybat - not that I will die (ok maybe sometimes) but that I will never get to my weight or stay there for long, I have always been over weight so im so scared of what will happen when i get to my goal, just last night my boyfriend of 5yrs dumped me, now im convinced its coz i lost too much weight and i am not allowed to be *that* happy. I dont know it just feels like I dont deserve to be happy.
We are in the same boat - so terrified that our happiness with be snatched from us before we can enjoy it!
OMG, I have this same fear!!!! I'm sooo close to weighing 199 pounds (a weight I haven't been in 20+ years). I'm getting married this December (I've been with my guy for over 20 years) and I was supposed to go on a cruise 4 years ago but couldn't go because I had cancer! (I needed surgery) And now I'm going on the cruise in 2 weeks with my sis but now that I'm the smallest I've been in decades and my cruise is FINALLY happening and I'm getting married this year, I'm CONVINCED that I'm going to croak before any of it happens!!!! It sucks! I'm a very happy person otherwise, but I just can't shake this feeling. Good luck to you!
-Megan
It made me so sad to read this, Megan! Congrats on your amazing weightloss and I hope your cancer is under control now. I hope you can put aside your fears and enjoy the cruise with your sister, you so deserve this! And you have an upcoming wedding, it's one of the most exciting days of your entire life! You have so much to look forward to, let those happy thoughts warm your heart. I get anxiety too but after my own cancer diagnosis this year, I try so very hard to enjoy life's big and small moments and put the brakes on the negative scary thoughts (not always easy, I surely know that!). Life is too short to not enjoy every moment, as I am sure you know. Make sure you and your sister take lots of pictures of you and your new skinny body. I can't wait to hit onederland either, it's been soooooo long. You and I seem to have a lot in common.
fear of dying (because of weight loss)
Make sure you and your sister take lots of pictures of you and your new skinny body. I can't wait to hit onederland either, it's been soooooo long. You and I seem to have a lot in common. 
