40-Somethings - So I just turned 40...

View Full Version : So I just turned 40...

02-15-2013, 01:16 PM
I guess this is my intro. I've been visiting 3fc on and off over many years, through many different email addresses and user names mostly attached to various phases of my life. I think I started when I was in my mid 20s and newly married. I weighed about 235 pounds and was freaking out because I'd never been so large. Well, here I am 15 years on and I've dieted myself up to 289 pounds. I don't think I'm doing it right.

Many times I have said, "This is it, probably. I am going to TRY...I am going to THINK ABOUT...I am going to START..." but today I woke up and said, "I am going to DO..."

Forty has kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. I have friends my age who look ten years older than me, and friends who look fifteen younger. I have friends who constantly complain about this health issue or that ache and friends who run marathons. At some point I have to choose which I'm going to be before the choice is made for me.

Even though I've always been overweight, I've always been somewhere in the middle as far as fitness - not totally sedentary but not an athlete. I am starting to be one of those aches and pains people, my back hurt, I pinched a nerve, need to take my blood pressure meds, pre-diabetic, why can't I squat down and hop right back up? Why does my knee click when I run, OMG WHOSE BODY IS THIS?!?!?!

*deep breath*

So today I'm changing my life.

02-15-2013, 01:20 PM
Happy birthday, and congrats on deciding to change your life! Hope u find success on your journey.

02-15-2013, 01:26 PM
LOVE this: At some point I have to choose which I'm going to be before the choice is made for me.

Great job - sounds like you're READY ... yay! Good for you!

02-15-2013, 01:59 PM
Welcome TheSecondHalf!! I know what you mean about starting to become one of those aches & pains people... I was finding myself going down that route, too. "Oh, I can't shovel, it will hurt my back." "Oh, I can't help you move that couch, it will hurt my back." ETC

You can turn this around, and we are here to cheer you on!!

02-15-2013, 03:08 PM
I was telling my dad that I feel like an old person because it takes me ten minutes of yoga go get my back right in the morning. He assures me that if I can do ten minutes of yoga in the morning, I do not yet know what it feels like to be an old person.

My mom takes 20 something different medications for all her various issues. She's not terribly over weight, but she's just never taken care of herself and it's wearing on her. I don't want to be limited because of health problems and I do not want to take all those pills.

Thanks for the well wishes, I feel truly ready and determined to have a different kind of life. I feel very much the way I did when I finally gave up smoking - that time, I just knew it was different. This time, I just know it's different. I don't want to lose weight so much as I just want a different kind of life and if I start living that life, the weight loss will follow.

02-15-2013, 03:11 PM
What specifically are you doing to change your life? Are you formulating a plan?

02-15-2013, 03:13 PM
Welcome! Good luck on your plan! I'll be 40 in a month, so I'm right there with you!

02-15-2013, 04:07 PM
:welcome2: to the 40-something board. I hope you find the support & encouragement you need.

Yes, it is better to make changes now BEFORE a doctor or you own body tells you, "Girl, you better make some changes or you are going to have some issues." I didn't think that my body would ever "let me down"...I was wrong. I have the aches, the pains, the grunts/groans in the AM. But my body hasn't let me down, I let it down. I wasn't eating right. I wasn't exercising. I wasn't drinking H2O. What was I to expect? Garbage in equals garbage out. :(

Being that I am only a few years from joining the 50-somethings...please learn from me. Those wonderful fried foods & sweets aren't as wonderful as being able to walk up a flight stairs or around the block without getting winded. Sitting there on the couch watching tv or at the computer isn't as fulfilling as going out for a walk & seeing nature's program unfold before you. Getting a great night's sleep because your body is content with how you treated it today instead of grunting & groaning to move the next day.

Dearest Second Half, do this for you. You'll be SOOOOO GLAD you did. You feel better, sleep better & definitely enjoy more of life. Remember if you take care of yourself you'll enjoy the years you have ahead of you!!! You OWE IT TO YOU!!! :hug::hug:

GOOD LUCK!!! Stick with us! We'll help you! We'll encourage you! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

02-15-2013, 04:28 PM
2nd half, what a great intro post. I'll be 45 in a few months and like you, I know people my age who run marathons and others who live like they're 90. I want to be a runner!

Keep posting here..there is tremendous support. We just started a St. Paddy's Day challenge..think about setting a goal(could be anything - weight, water, exercise, etc) and joining us! I post in that thread every day and it's really helped keep me on track.

Welcome to 3fc!

02-15-2013, 04:44 PM
Thanks, natamars! I have a new friend who wrestled his life back from depression and obesity at 40 and his happiness is an inspiration. I don't think I'll ever have the interest in fitness that he does (there is no Ironman in my future, I just have zero desire) but I have a whole new perspective on what's possible.

MrsTryingAgain, I can relate to your whole post. It was a big wake up call for me when I jumped up out of my chair one day and made a dash down the hall and...oh, wait. I didn't. My BRAIN told my body to jump up and run down the hall to get the phone, my body stood up slowly, took a few steps to work itself out, and proceeded at a slow, cramped pace till I got there and the phone had stopped ringing. I thought girl, this is not your life! God blessed me with a healthy body and I've spent 40 years running it into the ground.

Happy early birthday, Eagle River Dee!

newleaf, I have a pretty detailed plan. My first plan is to spend some time every day planning, journaling, and focusing on the kind of life I want and how I can get there. I realize I drink way too much Diet Coke and I never ever get enough sleep so I'm chronically exhausted. Exhausted people don't make good choices. I've learned a lot from past attempts at weight loss and I know what works for me and what does not. I'm writing it all down, I'm keeping track. I am my new project.

02-15-2013, 05:38 PM
TheSecondHalf you sound really committed, which is awesome! And you write really well, which is a bonus! I loved your description of running down the hall to catch the phone...

Last April, I decided to make health & fitness my job for my 47th year -- sort of similar to your decision to make it your project for your 40th year. It has worked out really great; I am hopeful that it will be the same for you. Happy Birthday!!

02-16-2013, 03:26 PM
If you enjoyed the description, the actual event would have been very entertaining. I can only imagine the look of confusion when my brain realized my body was just not following commands anymore.

I feel really committed. I feel less like I'm doing some horrible thing because I have to and more like I'm really lucky to have a chance to turn my life around.

And I've gone a whole day and a half with no Diet Coke and no one has gotten stabbed or even spoken to harshly! WINNING.

02-16-2013, 10:45 PM
Today I woke up with one thing on my mind: Izzo's salad. I don't know if Izzo's Illegal Burritos are everywhere, but they're really good for fresh salads. I love them. They are massive so you can easily get one and split it among your family as a side or it's a generous meal for two (most often I get one and have half for another meal). It's kind of hard to figure how many calories might be in it so to be on the safe side, I decided to eat conservatively all day and leave myself a big chunk of calories for my salad (I don't get dressing, just piles of vegetables, extra lime and cilantro and pico!!!). Good plan, right? Makes sense, doesn't it?

All was going well till I got home and found a huge bag of chips in the bag! Tortilla chips! FRESH. DIE. I love tortilla chips and some day I hope to be one of those people who can eat a reasonable number with salsa and get on with my life...but that day is not today. I know myself.

I have been staring at that bag for like, two hours. All through the evening and everything I've been doing, that bag has been on my mind. My daughter is finally in bed so I have two seconds to myself and of course, bee line for the bag. I opened up, I ate a few, and then I thought...WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

I threw it out. It's in the trash, opened and poured out so I won't be tempted to rescue them. I mean, I've never done that before but who knows what can happen when a girl is left unobserved with a bag of tortilla chips. I can't decide if this means I'm crazy or brilliant. I know it means I'm not finishing that bag of chips. This is probably not a reasonable way to go through the rest of my life, but it's a reasonable way for me to get through today.

02-17-2013, 11:02 AM
Brilliant, you are brilliant! It's all about choices...I've never heard of Izzo's before, but I see they have a website and a really great nutritional info calculator. And those yummy chips...are almost 700 calories, yikes! The salad looks fantastic, I love Mexican-style salads.

Welcome, happy birthday, and congratulations on making this your decade of health!

02-17-2013, 01:31 PM
SecondHalf I can totally relate. I have thrown open bags of Jelly Bellys away, and also open bags of candy corn. I always think that "this will be the time" that I won't devour them, but it just is never so... Its funny how everyone is so different. An open bag of chips?? Meh.

And, I can relate to your comment " I feel less like I'm doing some horrible thing because I have to and more like I'm really lucky to have a chance to turn my life around." That's exactly it. When I was approaching 47, I wanted to be able to look back at 48 and say, "This is the year I turned things around." I think that's one of the beauties of being older, you really can see things in time perspective like that, or at least for me -- I'm able to do that now, when I couldn't younger. And so here I am, at the dawn of my 48th birthday, exactly 2 months from now, and I have totally rocked being able to say that 47 was the year I turned things around.

02-17-2013, 10:04 PM
Thank you, cattails, and I'm off to check out that nutritional calculator right now!

newleaf, the tortilla chips get me because they are fresh and they are the perfect salty carrier for pico or salsa. Store chips? Potato chips? Doritos...eh. Not my thing. But warm salty chips and fresh salsa? Oh but yes.

Also, you are rocking my socks! I feel ready to say I got my act together when I turned 40!

02-18-2013, 02:01 AM
Secondhalf and everyone else, this thread perfectly captures my mid-forties feeling too. It's like a chance to give myself the gift I've always wanted but was scared I wasn't worth. This year, my health is finally as important as everyone else's.

02-20-2013, 11:27 PM
That's fantastic and so true! I often find myself showing up to something without makeup or looking a mess because someone else in my home needed something, or I skip the gym because of homework that is not mine or something I volunteered to do for PTA or whatever. All the women I know who are in shape OBVIOUSLY think they're worth spending the time on themselves. How am I any less important than they are?

02-21-2013, 12:09 PM
Welcome to the group! Sounds like you've got a great plan, that your head is in the right place, and you're ready for success!! I do believe this is YOUR year!

02-26-2013, 11:11 AM
:wave: Hey!

I just turned 40, too. I'm not exactly happy about it, but it beats the alternative. I've put on 10 pounds since I was here last (Aug 2012), so I need to get myself together!

Nice to meet you!

03-02-2013, 12:28 PM

I need to weigh myself. I have been super busy over the past few weeks with our spring fund raiser at school, Girl Scouts, PTA, etc.

I am faithfully riding my recumbent bike and keeping busy and trying to make good choices when I can't count. I sort of feel like I just don't want to eat crap anymore. I want interesting, beautiful, nutritious food that won't kill me.

Also, I tried an Asian pear for the first time yesterday. Recommend! I thought it was going to be kind of awful because the slices felt really dry, but when you eat it, it's really juicy.

Sadly, I don't think any of this is going to add up to real weight loss anytime soon. I just have to count SOMETHING because I can still over eat on "better choices." I can easily, EASILY, eat a whole avocado in one go, or half a container of hummus on carrot sticks.

So...calories? That seems easiest and I have the Lose It app on my phone.

03-08-2013, 02:07 PM
Boy, I sure can relate. Before turning 40, I was half my size and could eat twice as much. Now I'm twice my size though I only eat half as much.

And, if I may...It's just not fair that men typically age well and still get youthful partners, but a woman is expected to maintain her youthful qualities in order to remain attractive.

*Memory is the other thing affected beyond 40. I lose something every day and can't for the life of me recall where I put it. I can't commit numbers to memory anymore, either.

**One more thing...fear. I'm far less courageous now than 20 years ago. The older I get, the closer to the ground I want to be. My dad jokes not to worry because once I'm my oldest, I'll be "in" the ground. I don't like driving great distances anymore and I double check to make sure all of my doors and windows are locked at night.

All this in addition to fighting weight gain.

Florida 1
03-13-2013, 10:32 PM
SecondHalf, you remind me of when I turned 40. I had been heavy for a few years prior to turning 40, but never really realized just how much until my 40th. My husband and I went to Hawaii and I got to swim with a dolphin for my birthday. Usually I'm the one taking photos so didn't see myself as others did. When they gave us our pictures afterwards, I was SHOCKED at how large I was! Took just a few weeks for me to join JC and never looked back. I kept it off for about 6 years because I learned to eat differently. We moved out of the area, my knees went bad, I had both replaced just recently which means I've gained about 25 back in the last year because I went from being very physically active to not at all. Now that I'm getting my strength back after the surgeries I'm determined to get back to my "fighting" weight. You can do this, just set rules for yourself and don't let anything stop you from getting to that goal!

03-14-2013, 10:34 AM
I'm only 46, but my body thinks it's 92! It's bad when you can't turn the hot water on in the morning to loosen up your fingers, because your fingers are too stiff! LOL But I'm there! My doctor keeps telling me to keep moving my joints to help with the arthritis, but the more I move them, the more they ache the next morning. My joints and my doctor just don't seem to be in sync!

I've had a weight problem since I was 16. I remember spraining my ankle, making me live on the couch for six weeks, and that's when I started gaining. Becoming an adult, where I could eat anything I wanted without my mom getting on to me, didn't help matters either. Then there were the pregnancies. OK, I didn't gain DURING the pregnancies (actually lost weight during my last one), but dang did I put on the weight afterward!

I know I'm not in the greatest of health, but I know I can still improve it with losing weight and exercise. I have way too many things I want to experience in life to cut it any shorter than it already will be, so improving my health is very important to me. Besides, with my first grandbaby on the way, I need more energy!

You are all headed in the right direction, and should all feel very proud of yourselves. I agree that the 40's are a great time to reflect on life...where we've been and where we still want to go. I lift my hot cup of tea, as a toast that we all make it to our destinations!


Florida 1
03-14-2013, 09:56 PM
Kristy, your doctor is right - trust me! The reason I got heavy leading up to my 40th was because the arthritis (mostly in my feet then) hurt so much that I stopped being so active. Then I started JC and made an effort to get 10000 steps in a day and discovered that my doctor was correct - I did feel better the more I moved. However, I did have to take Advil every day to alleviate the residual pain like you're talking about. The arthritis is a tough one to deal with, but I learn to manage it well enough until my knees cried uncle over a year ago. Now I'm back to taking Advil/Ibuprofen each day so that the aches everywhere else don't stop me from LIVING! :carrot:

03-17-2013, 11:55 AM
Florida, thanks for your support. Unfortunately I can't take aspirin, ibuprofen or naprosin, I'm stuck with Tylenol which doesn't work so well for me. I have a prescription for norco, but can't take it when I have to work as it's a narcotic. Heat helps loosen them up, though, so I usually try to start my day with a nice, hot shower to get all them achy joints. I did notice that when I was off work for 9 months, my arthritis lessened. Still, I would rather work with arthritis, than not work without.


03-17-2013, 08:08 PM
Hi all! I am deep in allergy **** but hanging in. I have lost maybe five pounds doing things like avoiding fast food (I stick to salads when I am stuck and HAVE to get something on the go but come on, fast food salads aren't exactly health food), fried foods, and Girl Scout cookies. I will obviously need a PLAN to lose any actual weight and I think that's about to be decided for me. I am going to have some blood work done tomorrow. My doctor told me six months ago that I was a step before pre-diabetic and I haven't done any hard work to change that. I've got a few books on the topic on my Kindle, I've got my bike, and I've got my walking shoes. As soon as I finish this book, I'm just going to do whatever it says and that's it. I don't do well without a plan, I need to have something decided with some rules. Flexibility is not my friend and I can't do moderation. My husband is in. Wish us luck.

I just spent a few days at the beach and while it was beautiful and relaxing, it was also a kick in the pants. I'm 40, I'm not trying to look 18 and I never will again but I can't walk as far as I used to and if the elevator had gone out, that hike to the 8th floor might well have been beyond me. More than anything, I feel so cumbersome and clumsy with all this weight.

03-19-2013, 10:22 AM
TheSecondHalf: Seems like everyone has the allergy thing going on right now...at least here in California. People at work have been sneezing like crazy, LOL

Good luck with the new plan, and so glad your hubby is in with it too. Having a supportive partner helps tremendously! Hopefully you are still not full blown diabetic yet, and that you can get those numbers to turn back around. I have a lot of family and friend who have it, and it does not sound like anything I would want to live with. I did have an aunt, however, who got well enough to not need medications anymore by losing the weight, so there is still hope.

As for the elevator, there is no way I could walk up eight flights of stairs! It would be a good workout though. I try to take the stairs whenever I can, but only if it's no more than two flights. That is pretty much my limit.


03-23-2013, 03:21 PM
Well that book turned out to be for crazy people. I don't know why the good doctor (who wrote the book) thinks going off my one pill (high blood pressure) only to go on his 43439 supplements (that my insurance won't cover) is a winning deal but...that's crazy people for you.

In the last week I have gotten into what some people might call a rut but I prefer to think of as a groove. I have one of two meals for breakfast, ride my bike after I drop my daughter off at school, have a piece of fruit mid morning, one of two or three lunch choices and a side of vegetables for lunch, lots and lots of water and iced tea, fruit again in the afternoon if I'm hungry, and whatever I cook for my family for dinner (which will usually be healthy, none of us needs junk) and another large side of vegetables. I am making sure to cook my vegetables in a measured amount of healthy oil so they're filling. Having fruit for snacks and large servings of vegetables as sides allows me to feel like I actually get to EAT at meals. If I get hungry again after dinner and can't ignore it, I have a bowl of oatmeal with either a banana or some natural PB. I'm using the LoseIt! app and logging every bite.

I have just enough choice not to get bored but enough predictability to avoid having to make "the right choice" every time I eat. I have a plan, my choices are made.

Yesterday I bought some local strawberries. I dipped them in the thinnest possible layer of dark chocolate. SO good. The strawberries are sweet and filling and because there's chocolate involved, it feels and tastes like a really special treat.

Hope everyone is doing well! Thanks for all the kind words!

03-25-2013, 07:44 PM
hey secondhalf, I am mainly a reader here because I am usually surfing on my Nook and I don't like typing on it, lol. I just made 40 myself(3/22) and wanted to tell you that you can do it! I started out my 39th year weighing nearly 230 and now weigh 125, I started so many many times and would always fall off the wagon. Just remember never give up! if you fall off just dust yourself off and get back on!

03-26-2013, 02:47 PM
Thank you so much! It's SO INFINITELY HELPFUL to hear from people who have made it. It seems impossible or just soooo far away sometimes. It's been so long since I was a reasonable weight, I've just lost any sight of myself that way. Thank you thank you thank you for checking in!

05-01-2013, 11:45 PM
This thread was exactly what I needed to see today. I was pretty active on here for about for months three years ago, then let life derail me again, so I am returning. I thought that I was "making better choices" until I inputed what I ate into one of the food apps in my new smart phone.. I stopped adding when I was almost 500 calories over my alloted limit for the day! I turned 40 back in November, and I am okay with my age, I am not okay with not being able to enjoy it because I am out of energy.
I am so happy to see about your journey, and look forward to seeing everyones progress. Congratulations and good luck!