Weight Loss Support - Waiting to eat with the family for dinner about KILLS me!

01-31-2013, 09:04 PM
I've mentioned it in several places, but my hunger pattern goes like this:

Wake up - not hungry. 30 minutes to 45 minutes later and I'm starving. I eat about a 300-500 calorie breakfast (high protein, low carb) around 7:30 am. Then, I am starving at lunch time - 11:30 to 12:00 pm. I eat a 500 calorie lunch. Now, if I have my choice, I eat dinner around 3:30 pm for around 300-500 calories. I will not be hungry again for the day even if I stay up to 11 pm.

BUT... my husband doesn't get home until after 6 pm usually (and recently my teen as he's part of a robotics club in school that meets until 6 pm). That's fine when it's leftovers or I can make myself something separate - like if they are eating pasta and I don't eat pasta.

BUT... on nights like tonight I'm famished by the time we eat and the smell of cooking food drives me bonkers. I was eying the trail mix, the chocolate, the cheese sticks - ANYTHING to be able to EAT as i was hungry, but I wanted to wait for dinner as it was a good dinner for me!

We were eating for dinner roasted chicken and roasted brussel sprouts and roasted beets. (I eat very little of the roasted beets). I couldn't eat it earlier as it didn't get done until 6 pm.

And how do I go about the rest of my life eating dinner at 3:30 pm? It's when I'm famished! Eating later gets me to eating MORE food and more calories, but no one eats dinner at 3:30 pm.

It seems I have to choose to eat with my family or not and sometimes preparing TWO meals is impossible and definitely impractical. Plus, right now I work part-time and my schedule allows me to eat whenever I want, but how do I juggle eating by my body's rhythms versus societal patterns?

I simply find it torturous waiting for a meal. So torturous that I find myself snacking when I shouldn't be snacking because I am hungry and a little bit of something just won't do it.

It would be much easier to be an intermittent faster who waited to eat until the later part of the day, but that's OPPOSITE of how my body prefers to eat!

01-31-2013, 09:23 PM
Speaking from the perspective of a single person, can you just tell them you need to eat on your body's schedule and eat when it is optimum for you. If only one meal can be made, couldn't you just make a meal and portion it out for them to heat later and sit and talk with them while they eat? Then you could maybe have special meals with them on weekends?

01-31-2013, 09:28 PM
There are some days I have to eat before my husband gets home, even if it means that I eat leftovers or a can of soup vs. what we planned on for dinner. An afternoon snack just won't do, I need real food. Some days I am just STARVING and I can't wait a minute longer.

The only thing good about me eating when I have to (and my husband understanding that) is that before I started my new eating plan, I'd eat leftovers or a can of soup and then eat a 2nd dinner when he got home. I cringe just thinking about it and it makes me sick to admit it to you.

April Snow
01-31-2013, 09:41 PM
can you tweak your calories around to have 4 meals a day? Something like 300, 400, 300, 300 +/- 50 each time would give you the same daily total but allow you to eat while you are hungry.

01-31-2013, 09:42 PM
Why not eat part of your dinner early and eat the rest with them, or eat all of your dinner except one item and eat that with your family.
I eat early , too but I live alone so it is not a problem but I do understand that need to eat earlier than most.

01-31-2013, 09:51 PM
Yep between 3 and 5 is my leeriest time for snacks.

I will eat early if I can, but honestly, if I have to wait, I try to find something to do for those couple hours - like come on here or do something to take my mind off being hungry.

If I really can't stand it, I'll have a greek yogurt or nutrigrain bar to tide me over.

01-31-2013, 10:18 PM
Have you tried a low calorie protein drink? I have been LOVING mine. For me- it's being hungry before/while I'm trying to prepare a healthy dinner. So they cut the hunger and allow me to make good decisions. :)

01-31-2013, 11:07 PM
I can change things around a million ways, but in all other combinations it means overall I eat more.

when I eat, I like to EAT, not nibble and snack.

And really, how fair would it be for me to eat a full meal all to myself at 3:30 and reheat for the remaining 4 family members? And not like I like to eat a 'real' meal to myself - one that takes real time to prepare.

I think what I'm going to try to do (hard with 4 adults and one kid in the family) is to prepare enough food the night before for me to have the leftovers for my early dinner the next day. Works for many things, but not all (like fish).

But eating smaller meals end up in more calories consumed - without fail.

01-31-2013, 11:25 PM
Your hunger pattern is exactly like mine. I HATE waiting for dinner :< I would love to have my dinner at around 3:30...and on the weekends I usually get to do that! It's a blessing. Everyone thinks it's weird when my fiance and I trot off to dinner at 3:30 or 4 (well for him it's lunch and/or his only meal of the day) but who cares? We're hungry so we eat.

On days I must have dinner later, I eat 4 or 5 meals. My breakfast is usually around 150-250 calories, Lunch is 350-400 calories, and that meal between lunch and dinner is anywhere from 150-300 calories. It really helps because otherwise I'm starving come dinner and I scarf it down and don't enjoy it at all. I'm not starving come dinner time and I can enjoy the meal more.

I really find that the timing of my meals/snacks is key to staying within a certain calorie range.

02-01-2013, 04:48 AM
I don't know if you realise that you are practising IF everyday with those eating times. You are eating from 7:30 am to let's say around 4 pm. This is a 8 hour eating window and a 16 hour fasting time. It's normal that you are hungry at the 16th hour of your fast in the morning.

I think If you want you can try to change your eating window later in the day. It will take your body sometime to get used to the new eating times but in the end things will settle down fine. Let's say you start eating at 11 am and finish by 7 pm then you can eat with your family. Just a suggestion you can try and see if it works for you.

02-01-2013, 01:22 PM
Can you have a cup of low calorie soup (100-200 calorie range) or something at 3:30 then have dinner with your family? I eat a cup of soup for lunch almost every day and it's filling enough to tide me over for a few hours, and sometimes is only 75 calories or so.

02-01-2013, 01:38 PM
I get really hungry around that time too and I have found that one serving of low fat cottage cheese will tide me over until dinner (80 calories) and it helps to keep me from over eating at dinner.

02-01-2013, 01:56 PM
I wake up between 6 & 7, my husband gets home sometimes after 7pm, maybe 8pm or 9pm on busy days. We are odd in that when we do eat together, we eat in the living room and watch tv. It is actually the only time we do watch tv. We watch 1 tv show per night on weekdays and 2 tv shows per day on the weekend (or a mix of 1 movie, 1 tv show). So if he comes home late, I eat then watch tv with him as he eats.

02-01-2013, 02:56 PM
Same here, nelie! Although my husband gets home at 10:30 several nights a week (classes after work), which just pushes it even later. I used to wait, but eating that late (and then going to bed not long after) was not helping with some digestion issues, so I stopped waiting and now eat earlier, and I either serve him food later or fix him a different meal.

When I first met my husband he thought it was nuts to have different foods on different schedules - he was oddly stubborn in thinking everything should be the same. Now a lot of days we share no foods in common, and oddly it's made life so much easier. :D I would have expected it to be more complicated and time-consuming, but it's not. I can choose foods/meals that I like and that support my goals, and he gets 'his' tasty food. I admit I'm spending less time on elaborate recipes or experimenting with new dishes at the moment - which I love to do - but that's OK for now.

Melissa - I think the leftovers idea is a great fix for your situation. Maybe you could also add some crockpot meals that you could dip into earlier, but wouldn't suffer from continuing to warm for a few hours? (Chili comes to mind.) And on the days when there aren't leftovers, maybe you could fix something for yourself that you really enjoy/is ideal for your plan but your family wouldn't want? (This way you feel rewarded for the hassle.)

Arctic Mama
02-01-2013, 05:10 PM
Melissa - I have found that just eating when I'm hungry and sitting with my family for their dinner works best. Yes, it's two different mealtimes, but I make my own meals anyway and it is much less of a hardship than getting too hungry and barely being able to make it. My dinners take less than ten minutes to prep and I'd have to cook for them anyway, so I see little difference in taking it an hour or three earlier than doing it with them.

02-01-2013, 05:22 PM
I know how you feel! Yesterday at 2:30 I was eyeing the clock and really wanting to start dinner early. I get up around 5 am and have to eat within a half hour, usually about 260-300 ish calorie breakfast. Then I have a snack around 8 or 9, lunch at 11 which is about 350 or so, second lunch at 1 or 2 at about 300 calories and then dinner around 5. I eat 1500-1600 calories a day.

You need to find something low calorie and filling that you can have as an additional meal. I usually do a salad as my second lunch.