100 lb. Club - What made you start this journey?

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01-30-2013, 12:47 PM

When did your weight loss journey begin? Was it in a single moment? Or had you been thinking about it for awhile?

Did you stumble into the journey? Or did you make a very concerted decision?

Do you remember what that decision felt like?

What would have happened if you didn't make that decision?

01-30-2013, 12:53 PM
I started in October, I just woke up one day and realized that if I didn't do something I'd be 300lbs in the blink of an eye. That epiphany scared me enough to take action. My first step was a visit to the dr.

01-30-2013, 01:16 PM
My eight month old daughter has been the biggest motivation for me. I need to be fit enough to keep up with her (especially during the upcoming toddler years!) and I want to be a good health role model. I never want her to have to deal with obesity as a child or an adult. I need to teach her healthy habits from a young age, and I'd better practice what I preach!

01-30-2013, 01:30 PM
I started this journey for the finally time on November 1, 2011. I woke up and looked at 298.6 on the scale on October 31st and said to myself there is no way I will let myself get over 300 pounds.

It has been a battle I lost down to 242.8 last July and regained 13.6 (256.4) pounds by the end of the year. I am now back on track and losing again and very happy with my progress - It is slow and steady but it is working for me.

01-30-2013, 01:36 PM
I had a couple of reasons, one was the fact that I was close to having gained 20 pounds since November and knew that the path I was going was only going to make it harder on my health.

The other was my boyfriend of going on 5 years and I want to take the next step soon and I don't want to look horrible in engagement photos/wedding dresses.

A very important reason for me is I really want children and want to set a good example for them. I never want them to know me as the big girl who eats a million calories of fast food a day.

Another recent factor too has been my love for adorable clothes that never come in my size.

01-30-2013, 01:58 PM
I saw a picture of myself at Easter 2011 and I almost didn't recognize myself. I bought a scale and was horrified to see how close to 300 I was.

01-30-2013, 02:08 PM
I won't get into all the details again as I have on several threads but I got a rough wake up call!

I didn't even know my weight for so many years but obviously the clothes kept getting bigger and bigger. Wearing a black shirt and black capris doesn't hide you are a big person if they are a 26 pants and 3x shirt. I think I told myself the brand ran small...wonder how many more lies I told myself!

I am dealing with some personal female issues and my doctor told me that weightloss surgery should be my plan after I am done with those. I freaked out to my DH when we left her office, like, I don't want any more surgery than I need to! I don't like needles, pain, all of that. So I emailed her nurse asking about a weightloss program that is medically supervised with a doctor/nurse/nutrition team to help me. She gave me the medical go ahead and here I am, almost 100lbs down! All it took was some food guidance and exercise. Obviously it's harder than that but in reality, it's the easiest thing I have ever done and why didn't I do this 10 years ago? I hated that surgery was the only option offered to me, I must have seemed like a hopeless case. My doctor practically did cartwheels the last time I saw her and I was only down 50 then! Wait til she sees me next week!

199 is my mini HUGE goal; I never thought I'd live long enough to see 199. Once I hit that and pick myself up off the floor from passing out from shock, I will decide how much more I want to do. But I will literally look like a skinny minnie at 199 compared to myself the last many years.

Making this decision is the best thing that ever happened to me. I literally thank God every day for giving me the program and the strength and resources to accomplish what I have. It was nothing less than divine intervention that is saving me from my weightgain literally killing my body.

Pink Hurricane
01-30-2013, 02:18 PM
My weight loss journey began in Jan of 2010 and I weighed at LEAST 275 lbs ( I could have weighed 5lb or more than that, but was officially weighed at the doctor after I had been very sick the week before). I had set out to lose the extra weight as soon as my doctor said I was cleared to exercise after having dealt with health issues that left me stagnant for almost two years. I saw one final picture taken of myself at that weight when we were celebrating a birthday in my family and it clicked that I actually looked like the weight I was at. I never wanted to see that depression in my eyes and the weight (no pun intended) on my shoulders.

I reached 189 pounds (April 2011) before I decided I was very comfortable where I was. I still exercised and ate properly, but then I let a lot of the things going on put myself on the back burner, I ended up gaining weight all the way back up to 235 within the next year and a half.

I rededicated myself to getting to my goal once and for all this past October after my husband and I were married and since December I have been working to get all of this right as a lifestyle change. Now I will not stop because I realize no matter how crazy things get, I am in charge of my health and well being, and also since I cook, I am in charge of helping my husband as well! :D

01-30-2013, 02:44 PM
These are what I wrote down a while back.

I will feel better physically.
I'll be able to get up and down off the floor more easily.
I will be able to wear a smaller size.
I will be much happier when I look in the mirror.
I will be in better health.
My pieces & parts (back, knee, foot, shoulder, etc) & those pains will improve.
I won't be embarrassed to eat around other people.
I will feel that I have really accomplished something important.
I will feel less self conscious when I perform.
I will do more things.
I will feel more in control of this aspect of my life.
My lab numbers will be in a normal range.
I can avoid becoming a diabetic.
I will have food sanity which I have wanted for a long time.
I will be able to look at myself in a photograph and smile.
I will be more active with my grandkids..

I have started this journey many times.

01-30-2013, 02:58 PM
I re-started in April of 2011. I basically saw pictures of myself on a road trip, and hated what I looked like. On that same road trip, I had to get on a plane. The seatbelt was about an inch too short. it was super mortifying for me, and from then on I've been on this journey.

01-30-2013, 03:10 PM
I was 160 at the beginning of last year and wanted so badly to lose weight but didnt want it enough to really do anything about it. In November a friend of mine was getting a mommy makeover and that motivated me to not want to be the big friend. I guess that pushed me enough to start again at 152. I also had seen a doctor lwho told me I was on the path to diabetes. In October I found out most of my estranged fathers family had diabetes. I was tired of letting my weight affect my moods, causing me depression. My knees hurt so bad when walking up the stairs, my back was constantly knotted and in pain just changing the trash bag caused a shock in my lower back. I started making conscious decisions about food. When I had gotten to 146 it motivated me to push harder. I also hated it that simply because I was heavier than my big sis people thought I was older. Her cocky ness about it bothered me too. I have to say there were health reasons involves in my decision but vanity was definitely a factor.

01-30-2013, 03:35 PM
After a very unsuccessful weight loss in 1997 where I lost 50 pounds in 6 months, but gained back all of it plus added 40 pounds to it in a couple years, I said I would never, ever diet again.

I still yo-yoed quite a bit, but by natural fluctuations, never by anything intentional.

My highest was 275 in 2001 where I was for about a year, then I got to 235, up to 265, down to 225, up to 265 and then down to 255 where I stayed for a year which ended in 2010.

I didn't want to go to a doctor as I didn't want to hear what they had to say. I "knew" I wasn't in good condition and so I avoided the doctor for years and years. It's only when I had nonstop, all day headaches for 3 months that I finally decided I needed to go in.

I found out my blood pressure was sky high (and I had never had BP issues before). Then after blood work was done, I learned my blood sugars were sky high - all of them. My cholesterol was high and my thyroid was very low.

I was just shy of turning 40 years old and I was falling apart. I had a 5 year old son on the autism spectrum and and a 14 year old. If I didn't get myself together, my young son was going to grow up motherless. My father died at the age of 42 of a heart attack and he never had a weight problem. So, what was I doing????

So, I first got everything regulated. It seems my thyroid was the root of all evil. I started eating right and exercising and all my levels came down quickly and they only medication I needed was thyroid medicine. Everything else was fine.

I finally had energy and I kind of woke up. I realized this time would be different, that I wouldn't regain everything plus more because I had learned so much about my body and I now knew where the other path would lead me and I don't want to go there.

Sure, I'll have some yo-yoing forever - I'm human, but I'll never just "let go" and not care like I used to. I deserve more than that. My family deserves more than that.

April Snow
01-30-2013, 03:39 PM
In some ways, I've been on this journey for over 30 years now. I don't think I've even had a time or more than a year, 2 at most, where I wasn't doing something to try to lose weight. Unfortunately, I never stick with it long enough to see it through, or even to keep off what I've lost. Almost 2 years ago (May 2011), I started a new plan that I really thought was going to do it. And I had a great run for 6 months, and lost about 65 lbs.

But then I hit the holiday season and kept having reasons why it was ok to keep taking a break. I kept saying I'd get right back on track after the new year, but soon enough, I had stopped logging in here, stopped getting on the scale, stopped watching what and how much I ate. I started pretending I didn't notice that my clothes were no longer fitting and that the ones I did wear were really too tight. I ignored it when my son played on the Wii Fit and said "Mom it wants to know why you haven't been playing." I forgot the promises I made to him and to myself about how I was going to be a fit and active and healthy mom.

I managed to do all of that for a year and suddenly, instead of it being New Years 2012 and my deadline to get back on track, it was New Years 2013. And I knew that I couldn't have another year like that without gaining a whole lot more weight and doing who knows what to my health.

I logged back into 3fc, claiming I was "getting ready" but still giving myself excuses of things that were going on, food already purchased that needed to be eaten. But it only took a few more days before I saw that was a slippery slope and I needed to take action NOW (well, then - over 3 weeks at this point.)

I've been doing a lot of reading, here and elsewhere, to try to figure out why I stopped and how to make sure it doesn't happen again. I hope and believe that each failed attempt has taught me something and that I have all the tools I need to make it a reality this time.

01-30-2013, 04:00 PM
I have always been active. In 2009 I started working out and got down to 135 lbs. My then boyfriend told me I looked like a crackhead (notice I said EX)and his family members asked if I was ill. I was. It turned out I was exercising and losing weight but I had also developed Celiac disease and was losing blood, so much so that the doctor called me at work and told me to go directly to the emergency room. Based on my blood levels I told her, the triage nurse thought the doctor must be crazy. She took my blood and sure enough, the doctor was correct and they didn't know how I was still walking around. I was admitted to the hospital immediately. Fast Forward and after many tests I get the diagnosis of ulcerative colitis. I start watching my diet but with Celiac at that time there was not a lot of options for foods. *I don't understand people who go gluten free by choice* EVERYTHING had gluten, EVERYTHING! I was so hungry I would eat anything in large quantities just to feel full.

I was completely gluten free for 2 years. In that time I gained 50 pounds but I was afraid to lose weight. I stayed active but my brain had linked losing weight to being ill. In October of 2011 I ran/walked a 5K with a friend. All during my "training" I didn't lose a pound. At that time I didn't realize that I was holding on to the pounds in fear of falling ill. After the race I felt accomplished. I did it! Then the race photos were released and I saw how bad I looked. I looked so heavy I was embarrassed. It was at that time that I remembers calorie counting. Yes, remembered. It's like I had the tools ( Apps, equipment, DVD's) but for some reason I blocked them all out. I started gradually and didn't tell anyone. I use my lose it! app religiously and I even purchased a Nike Fuel Band to keep track of my activity for each day. The best part is finding this forum where people talk open and honestly about their methods of weightloss, their struggles, joys and fears. I have lost 40 pounds and as long as I remember to keep track of my eating I think I will be successful.

01-30-2013, 04:18 PM
I started an official diet in October. My hubby and I want to start a family and my Dr. won't support the idea, or my family, until I drop about 50 lbs. I want to lose around 100 overall. I was recently diagnosed with type II diabetes, hence the weight loss need. (getting tired of being asked why I have to lose weight to get pregnant by co-workers and extended family. I don't really, as everything in that department is clockwork. I'm just not in my 20's anymore and I want my pregnancy to be as healthy as possible and starting out obese and gaining baby weight is just not acceptable to me.)

I'm a yo-yo dieter, but this time, I'm 100 times more serious. I want a baby so badly it's literally all I think about. My husband refuses to try until we are both healthier so he's really keeping me on track.

Secondary reason?

Hey, I want to enjoy the heck out of the process of getting pregnant LOL.

01-30-2013, 04:29 PM
As I write this, Ingrid Michaelson's "Keep Breathing" came on. Appropriate, I think: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK_RijnIri4

It's a lovely song, but not particularly inspiring.
"I want to change the world, instead I sleep."

I think that line says a lot...I wanted to change myself, I wanted to change myself, but instead...I slept.

However, at the Christmas last year, DH finally agreed to a baby making timeline (starting in 2014). I've wanted nothing more then to be a mother. I was reading a nutrition book for pregnancy and came across this information- "Women who are obese at the time of conception are four times more likely to have an infant or fetus affected by neural tube defects than are leaner women. "

Time stood still. The rest of my universe faded away as I read those words..."FOUR times more likely." It still stands still when I think of it.

I am doing everything in my power to be as healthy as I possibly can before conception. I'm sad it got to this point, but I must keep looking forward.

If I didn't start this journey, I may or may not have gotten pregnant- and continued to gain. I probably would have hit over 300 pounds. I'm so glad I started when I did.

01-30-2013, 04:29 PM
For the last few months of 2012, I kept thinking to myself I know I need to take better care of myself, but I kept not doing it. I decided that after the first of the year, I was going to call our Employee Assistance Program and ask for a referral to a counselor to talk about why I was sabotaging my life by eating junk and sweets.

I've been in denial about my diabetes for years. I saw several new doctors in November and December, as well as a few regular ones, and they all "lectured" me about my weight/sugar levels. They were all professional--but also obviously concerned (with reason).

A friend of my son's was visiting the first weekend of January and she told me about her sleeve procedure. I knew that diabetics who had bypass surgery often saw immediate improvements in their blood sugar. So, I spent the next day researching WLS--and deciding the risks were too high for me and that I didn't want to give up food at that level forever.

Then I searched for cognitive behavior therapy and diet--and found Beck's book. I also found this forum somehow along the way of that day of surfing. And I found MyFitnessPal as the most recommended of the calorie counting apps. (Don't know why LoseIt wasn't on the lists I looked at because it sounds as if it's also a really good app.)

So, I created an account here at 3FC, I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app, ordered Beck's book (and another book on Cognitive Behavior Therapy for weight management, but it's such a lousy book I intend to throw it away rather than give it away), and decided I was starting Monday morning.

That was 3.5 weeks ago. This is the longest I've stayed on track since I lost 40 lbs 6.5 years ago (all of which I put back on, returning to the same high weight). Every other attempt has lasted days--not even weeks.

Things I'm doing differently

Reading and following The Beck Diet Solution
Checking in on the 3FC Beck Forum daily
Logging all of my food so I really know what I've been eating
Committed to walking regularly--a coworker and I are taking two 16 minute walks a day around our building, DH said he'd walk with me evenings. I'm going to start the 30DS on Feb 1
Making a weekly menu plan and shopping for it
Not going out to dinner as often
Bringing my lunch to workThose are a lot of changes. Several people (including my DD) have suggested I cut back on my Diet Coke addiction, which would probably be good for me--but I already feel I'm taking a lot on at once.

I feel as if I'm on a good path this time. (I'm still in denial about the diabetes, though--I haven't tested my own blood sugar in a year.)

Just edited to add: And writing this prompted me to call my PCP to make an appt for a physical and any input he might have on my weight loss and exercise plan.

01-30-2013, 04:38 PM
Fast Forward and after many tests I get the diagnosis of ulcerative colitis. I start watching my diet but with Celiac at that time there was not a lot of options for foods. *I don't understand people who go gluten free by choice* EVERYTHING had gluten, EVERYTHING! I was so hungry I would eat anything in large quantities just to feel full.

I got diagnosed with crohn's disease last year after an elective colonoscopy. Both of my parents have ulcerative colitis and no longer have their colons, so we wanted to get in there and see what was going on.

Did going gluten help quite a bit? I am doing the Specific Carbohydrate Diet and have eliminated all grains. Feeling good so far.

01-30-2013, 06:17 PM
I lost 12lbs without actually intending too. This gave me the motivation to continue on and get rid of the extra weight I had gained over the years. I think if I was still where I was, I would be eating and drinking everything which used to be normal to me (sweets, crisps, fast food, jellies, fizzy drinks) all the time still. I officially started June 1st 2012 and I'm slowly getting there.

Unfortunately, it has been a very bumpy ride. But, I'm still trying to hang in there. I haven't been having the greatest week. Back to college and the stress is getting to me once again. I want to start again from Monday onwards.

the shiv
01-30-2013, 09:52 PM
I didn't really have an epiphany or decisive moment, thankfully. I say thankfully, because while it's brilliant to see other people doing this and making it work, I never could. Sure, I have a plethora of reasons to want to lose weight, but nothing was ever enough. Not even being told by my doctor I'm too overweight to go back on the pill. And as someone who desperately wants to not get pregnant, that is really sad for me. I have had a horrible year-long experience with the depo shot, I know what works best for my body and I was refused it by my doctor. I'd always been a little heavier than I'd like, about 170-175 all through my 20s but it was never a problem, I only wanted to LOOK better. But to hear I'd need to lose 40lbs to get the contraception that suits me was a huge shock. I was in denial, hadn't weighed myself in years, and fooled myself into thinking I'd maybe put on a stone, when in reality I'd put on 3.

It was never the "right time" to lose weight. I've been through a lot the past few years when I put the weight on, and I knew I didn't have enough willpower, enough resolve, enough self-control, enough whatever... Losing weight was something I would do "one day". So I forgot about it. I started seeing a counsellor, to deal with the other stresses in my life. I set boundaries with people where I should have done so long ago. I started to notice some self-esteem coming back. And now, although I am depressed more often than I used to be, because of circumstances. But, it's manageable now. I no longer feel like I'm teetering on the brink of disaster, like one stressful incident can bring down the whole house of cards. Then, on 10th December, I discovered Intuitive Eating quite by accident. I thought, hey... It probably won't work, but there's no rules, no restrictions, no meal plans, no expensive meal replacements, no guilt. I'll give it a shot. I've done the mental work I need to do, and I keep up that mental work every day, it's just how my life is, and will always be. I recorded my weight and took what I hoped would be "before" photos that day. I was saddened more than anything by what I saw on the scale and the camera. I was sorry for what I'd done to my body. I hoped it would respond to being healthier after years of abuse.

And here I am about 6 weeks later, 10lbs lighter. If the weight suddenly stops coming off, I will change up what I'm doing so it works again. For the first time in my life, I understand that no matter how hard or frustrating it gets, I am worth looking after.

01-30-2013, 10:21 PM
Lunarsongbird. Having Chron's yourself and having parents with UC I know you are familiar with the symptoms. This may be TMI but I kept a bathroom / food diary so I could see when my symptoms would worsen. Flare ups would occur within hours after eating and linger so there was no question of the offending foods. I kept the diary for a few weeks and started avoiding the "bad" foods. Then I looked for a pattern and shared the information with my doctor. He agreed that changing my diet would help and it did. My symptoms went away gradually and even though going gluten free wasn't easy, the relief it brought me was welcome. It changed everything. I am no longer gluten free but I am sure to only eat foods containing gluten sparingly.

01-30-2013, 11:17 PM
When did your weight loss journey begin? Was it in a single moment? Or had you been thinking about it for awhile? Originally, it started a few years back when a 50 year old diabetic told me in a joking fashion that he was outwalking me. It wasn't meant to hurt but I was crying and blabbering to my mother. I always told myself that I wouldn't let my weight hold myself back but it was. It had been for years. But after I was starting to feel better, I forgot the pain and regained half. I've been yoyoing the last years. I'm a hoop instructor that can't get classes and I think it's my weight. Plus I am sick of being the fat girl hooper. Plus my knees were hurting and I was getting too close to 300 again. So for the last few months, I had been thinking about kicking it off after the holidays (or whenever I got my ninja blender).

Did you stumble into the journey? Or did you make a very concerted decision? Concerted decision. A great one at that!

Do you remember what that decision felt like? Just sick of being fat

What would have happened if you didn't make that decision? I think in a few years, I would have eventually been back at 300.

01-31-2013, 01:38 AM
In late 2007, at 350 lbs, I discovered I could no longer wear the seatbelt in my car. It wouldn't fit! So, I drove without it. Driving is a big part of my life, and I was constantly worried that something would happen on the road. A seatbelt had already saved my life 15 years ago when I rolled a Jeep.

Wanting to wear the seatbelt was my impetus. Really? I had gotten that big? I started my journey in late November 2007, and the day after Valentine's Day 2008, I was involved in an accident that totaled my car. Thankfully, I was wearing the seatbelt!

I continued to lose close to 150 lbs in about 15 months. Then life happened, and I let anger and frustration get to me and in several more years, I had gained all but 40 lbs back. I had sworn that I would not regain -- but I did.

I restarted in January 2012, and I'm again moving down the scale. I've started seeing a counselor, and have really worked on my MIND this time. I think that's really the secret for me. I needed to find ways to soothe myself instead of acting out with food. I must say that this time I'm way more aware of my actions and why things are happening in my life. The counselor has taught me to just be more aware... to not zone out and let my old habits take over.
And, that's how it all started...

the shiv
01-31-2013, 08:02 AM
I restarted in January 2012, and I'm again moving down the scale. I've started seeing a counselor, and have really worked on my MIND this time. I think that's really the secret for me. I needed to find ways to soothe myself instead of acting out with food.

I understand this. Therapy and dealing with OTHER situations in life that were "getting in the way" was what inadvertently led me here too, as I'd pretty much put weight loss into the impossible category, along with things like getting out of debt, not being bullied at work, getting a degree and a job I love. It started to occur to me there is no reason I COULDN'T do those things, even if initially the idea I deserved to succeed just sounded crazy.

I hope your journey through the mental stuff brings you patience, perseverance, self-respect, contentment, all the groovy stuff. What happened to you with the driving sounds pretty frightening, and I'm glad to hear you came out of it ok. Onwards and, well, downwards! :)

01-31-2013, 08:39 AM
My life sucks right now. Unemployed. Desperately low self-esteem. Depressed. I'm in a very unhappy marriage with a verbally and emotionally abusive husband (who's actually been quite nice for him since the New Year.... wonder what's up - i.e. not nice or a good husband, but less verbally abusive)

I gained a LOT of weight during my pregnancy and kept gaining. My husband was the one who was all for having kids, but that's when the abuse started and became horrific in my son's infancy - I was in shock. I ate to comfort myself. I was lonely and bored and miserable and sleep-deprived and I had a baby who would cry if set down for a minute and a husband who wouldn't help me look after him so I could get a break. (And I mean a break like taking a shower).

His mother is fat phobic - I mean she freaks out about fat people and thinness and so forth and is naturally thin and small framed. She is also extremely verbally, emotionally and physically abusive (to her husband). I've seen her bully her daughter into a starved state of unhealthiness. My SIL has a larger frame than her mother but is the same size - and is only that way because she is in a state of starvation. And I'm sure my husband has picked up some of this and is meaner to me when I'm fat than when I'm thin - but the meaner he is the more I want to eat.

When I went back to work when my son was 6 mos, I started losing weight - just from being more active. My weight has slowly come down over the years - with occasional forays into the Paul McKenna system. But I didn't stick with it. So even though the trend has been slowly down, I was yo-yoing a bit. Feeling terrible about myself, smoking, losing fitness and then gaining weight. Getting free of cigarettes, being more active, eating intuitively and not emotionally - losing weight. Repeat in a cycle several times. It was very hard to take time for myself as my husband would bully me if I spent "too much" time away. And then my work situation became horrible, too - at the same time as I having a lot of personal success in my field. I won't go into the details, but eventually I kinda crashed.

I always felt more in control when I was eating better and not obsessed with food or using it to comfort or distract myself. But this time, I think there are a few things that are different. I want to make some major life changes. I don't need to be thin to make those changes but I do need to be facing life head on and not medicating with food or nicotine or alcohol.

I also have rugby to thank. I started my son at rugby and I found I wanted to get my hands on the ball. I want to coach and maybe even referee. But I am new to rugby - so I started playing. Thankfully you can be very fat and play rugby! But you do need to be fit. I quit smoking again just before Christmas. I started with a personal trainer back in the autumn. I began running again. I started training with the women's team at the club. I started going back to yoga. And I went back to Paul McKenna and intuitive eating around New Year.

I don't care how fast I lose. I would be thrilled with a US size 14. But I want to be fit enough to ref youth games (I'll get the fitness before I get the knowledge and skills and qualifications- it's several years away on my plan).

I want to be free of my food addiction. I want to be healthy and happy. And frankly, I want to be more attractive to the opposite sex - as when I'm free I'd like the chance to start again in a healthy relationship.

01-31-2013, 05:29 PM
I really can't say I had a defining moment that made me begin this new lifestyle. I have lost weight before and always gained it back along with some bonus pounds. I lost weight about 4-5 years ago and it slowly crept back on. I stopped weighing myself a long time ago because I did not want to see that number on the scale.

I knew things were getting more and more difficult, such as everyday tasks. My clothes were also getting tighter. My husband and I discussed sometime around December 2011 that we had both put on a considerable amount of weight and that we were both ready to start working on it. We chose January 4th of 2012 to begin. We simply started out by making healthier food choices and cutting back portions. We didn't want to start out too extreme because we knew we would tire of it. Little by little we started incorporating some exercise, which for me was simply walking the neighborhood twice each night. Hard to believe looking back, that small walk took a lot out of me back then, now it's laughable to me how short of walk it really was.

A cousin of mine told me about a program she used and was successful, Ideal Protein. I started the program end of January 2012. I have learned most of what I know now from that program. I followed it for about 2-3 months before it got too costly and tried to eat low carb on my own. For some unknown reason that I still do not understand, I started back into my old eating habits. I think some of it was because I wasn't being held accountable going into that doctor office each week and being weighed and measured. Who knows. But before I knew it 5 or 6 months had passed and I managed to regain about 30 of the pounds I had worked so hard to lose.

So, this past October my husband was blunt and said we need to get back into the swing of things, he was also gaining weight back. I'll be honest, I wasn't all gung ho or even mentally ready to get back on the bandwagon. But I did it for him and am so, so glad I did. We restarted beginning of October and I have since lost those 30 pounds (again) and another 20. We have kept at it ever since and are more focused and committed than ever. We are definitely a lot more educated on what to eat and what not to. We know what foods effect our weight just by simple trial and error. This has been a learning process and we are still learning, but I can confidently say we are seeing this thru to the end this time.

Almost Me I wish I could give you a hug and tell you everything will be alright. I have been in your shoes before with a bad, toxic marriage. I have since remarried the most wonderful man in the world and will never look back again or regret the choice I made.