Weight Loss Support - My Husband Is Being Incredibly Supportive




RavenWolf
01-29-2013, 09:49 AM
While we have had a really rough 12 years together, I have to admit that my hubby is really supportive of so many of the things I do.

He is really there for me with my weight loss journey, and is doing what he can to help me become successful.

He got me several work out videos to do when the weather is not good, or when I need something different.

Yesterday he asked if I needed anything from the store and I told him I wanted dessert. So he came home with "thin whole wheat bagels" and Weight Watchers Giant Ice Cream Sandwiches.

He was so excited that he found bagels that I can eat and stay on plan with.

AND even with dessert, I stayed within calories! :carrot:


Ready2Lose2013
01-29-2013, 09:54 AM
Hi Ravenwolf - that is really wonderful to hear. It can make such a difference. A lot of us deal with partners who don't understand the weight loss process, and threatened by it, or don't know how to properly verbalize support. I am so happy to hear that you have a partner who is positively and proactively engaged in your weight loss journey, and think it is wonderful you took some time to articulate your gratitude.

Good luck!!

betsy2013
01-29-2013, 10:00 AM
Does he have a brother? :dizzy:


RavenWolf
01-29-2013, 10:09 AM
Does he have a brother? :dizzy:

LoL! He does, but you don't want him! He's def not boyfriend/hubby material! (I got the "good brother!)

My husband IS threatened by me losing weight, I have to say. After all we have been through, he admitted that he worries I will leave him for someone else once the weight is gone. :( After so long together, and making it through some hard times, I just couldn't do that. I love him way to much.

I know over the years when I have cried over my weight and how much it bothers me, he would comfort me and tell me that he loves me no matter what, weight and all. I know it bothered/bothers him because he doesn't want me to die.

Before Christmas I had to be taken by ambulance to the ER because I thought I was dying! My husband had tears in his eyes and when I came home be begged me not to "leave" him. It was so awful.

Even though he does worry my weight loss will affect me staying with him, he is being super supportive because it makes me happy.

I am sorry that there are many of you who have partners who are not understanding or supportive. Luckily, we still have this forum to fill some support needs. I have to say that you ladies are my rock for this journey!

If anyone needs any support, feel free to pm me, or if you have My Fitness Pal, add monilarac as a friend! :hug:

Silverfire
01-29-2013, 10:21 AM
RavenWolf Wow! It's great to hear that your hubby is so supportive! I know there are lots of people out there who are not as fortunate as you! My Boyfriend has been pretty supportive, he fixed my broken elliptical for me and didn't give me the "you have to be kidding me" look when I brought the thing home. He only grumbles after Salmon and rice for the 3rd day in a row lol.

I have always been overweight, but since we started dating (5 years ago) and I quit smoking (2.5 years ago), I put on an extra 50 lbs. I can see that he is worried about me when I complain about my knees that don't work and when I throw my back out of whack every other week. He doesn't want me to be old before my time I guess. I am 28 but move like I am 80 :(

He has on occasion harassed me about sticking with my plans. And there is something about me that when someone tells me to do something, I immediately want to do the opposite. Not helpful! So I have asked him to not comment if I don't stay totally on track and he has been good so far!

I only want positive feedback! The scale can be all the negative feedback I can handle thank you very much!!!

For anyone else who doesn't have a supportive spouse, that's why we are all here, to support eachother!!!! :D

Pink Hurricane
01-29-2013, 10:50 AM
That is so sweet and beyond wonderful that your husband is supportive of you! I think you cannot ask for better, once you have your significant others' support, it can really make a huge difference. My husband is supportive as well and hearing him praise me for my accomplishments and workout with me keeps me going strong!

Devoncroix
01-29-2013, 11:33 AM
My husband is also very supportive. We have been married for 18 years and for more than half of that time I was thin. He married me when I was thin. He, himself, has that thin without trying body type. Yet he still loves me even when I am not. But he worries about me because I am not happy with being overweight, I don't even pretend to be. I do not buy new clothes when I gain weight, I avoid cameras and public outings. I treat my being overweight like it is an illness.

The last/first time I put on weight he never said anything. We were having some serious financial problems and I was under a lot of stress. We quit smoking to try and save money. Eventually this led to me wanting to be healthier overall. My husband was very hesitant when I said I wanted to start working out at the gym. He was worried about me. He didn't want me to add more stress to my already stressful life at that time. But I did start going and within a couple of weeks he saw the positive change in me physically and mentally. After that he backed me 100%. I made him promise that in the future he would push me to stay healthy and in shape.

He is staying true to his word. It can be frustrating at times, but it is supposed to be! I need him to keep me motivated. He puts stars (stickers) on the calendar on the days I workout (he asks everyday when he gets home). I groan and complain that it is silly, but in truth I love it. He has also agreed to do the p90x program with me when I feel like I am ready for it (I want to be around 150 before attempting it). He has raved over all the veggie heavy dishes I have been making from the skinnytaste website.

My husband means everything to me, after 18 years we are even stronger and closer than we we first fell in love. We have been through so much tragedy and heartbreak, but it always seems to bring us closer rather than tear us apart. I am losing the weight for me, but he is the reason I know I can do it.

berryblondeboys
01-29-2013, 11:33 AM
Having a supportive significant other is sooooo important. My husband has never had a weight problem - no one in his family has, but he believes me when I say why it's difficult to do certain things and what derails me, etc. He doesn't just I'm full of hot air just because he doesn't have the same issues with food.

So I TOTALLY get this.

JossFit
01-29-2013, 11:42 AM
He puts stars (stickers) on the calendar on the days I workout (he asks everyday when he gets home). I groan and complain that it is silly, but in truth I love it.

That is about the cutest thing I've ever seen. :)

RavenWolf
01-29-2013, 02:05 PM
I'm glad others have great spousal support! It does help a lot! Reading some people say how their SO's give them grief, or put bad foods out for them makes me so sad.

This journey is hard enough as it is, and having bad support just makes it all that much harder.

I love the sticker idea!

My husband told me that he has a BIG surprise for me when I meet my goal weight...I wonder what it is? The curiousity is killing me!

the shiv
01-29-2013, 03:42 PM
It's so great to see all these stories! I know not everyone has a supportive partner, family or friends and that saddens me because I know the difference it makes when the people in your life have your back with something as challenging as this.

My bf has also seen me cry over my weight, avoid socialising because of it, and the days when the only time I'd consider running was when there was a camera in the room. When I stumbled across intuitive eating, I told him about it and he told me "that'll never work" (presumably because it sounds like an eat-all-you-want free for all...) but admitted he was just confused about how to help as he could eat half of tesco and still lose weight. When I'm at his we usually eat separately, and he's fine with it. He'll ask me if I want food and knows not to ask again if I tell him I'm not hungry. When I told him today I'd lost 10lbs he was over the moon for me, and honestly, I think he's just happy to see that I'M happy. I explained that there are no "bad foods" but if I don't want something, I won't eat it. He doesn't berate me or even look at me funny if I eat cake, or whatever, he just seems to trust me to know how this works for me. He listens to me racking on about this new healthy eating blog I found, that coat I think I'll fit into in 3 months, whatever stuff I need to make a banana smoothie etc etc etc... So I try not to bore him to tears with it. He told me today how proud he is of me. I honestly could have cried ;)

We are some very lucky ladies :)

avalonmoon
01-29-2013, 04:06 PM
Ravenwolf, you're so lucky...my hubby will do stuff like that too but he likes me allowing screw ups, he says 'I want you happy'. So I fight my own urges/hubbys allowances as well. Your hubby sounds terrific. He cares a lot about you too!!:)

RavenWolf
01-29-2013, 05:12 PM
Less than two weeks into this attempt at weight loss, I lost it, broke down and cried sitting on the back steps. He came out and held me and told me to keep it up, I WAS going to see progress. Yet at that point, nothing had changed and I had gone since the first without all the crap I used to eat. I felt so deprived, the cravings were evil, and I was so sore from getting out and exercising.

I'm glad he is standing beside me on this journey. If not, I'd be back to drinking my way into more weight (sodas) and back to eating out.

It really must be hard for him, too, to see the emotional roller coaster I have been on about my weight!

Avezy44
01-29-2013, 05:28 PM
I absolutely love this! My boyfriend of 4 going on 5 years has also surprised me with his level of support. He is very small and always has been (5'5" 130lbs) and so I have always been pretty self conscious. About two years ago I lost almost 90 lbs and felt great but then we hit some major bumps in the road and I gained it all back plus 25 extra. I decided with the New Year I wanted to get healthy (I have had a lot of medical problems with my rapid weight gain).

We are ALWAYS strapped for cash with both of us being full-time students and we both work. Since I have gotten serious about the changes, he has been giving me a fair grocery budget and cutting back on his fast-food. He has also been walking 2 miles every other day with me and just giving me so much positive reinforcement.

I can't even tell you how happy this makes me. It not only motivates me to be better, it shows me how strong we have become and how much I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him.

Good luck on your weight loss journey and congrats on having such a supportive and wonderful man in your life! :)

Avezy44
01-29-2013, 05:55 PM
My husband IS threatened by me losing weight, I have to say. After all we have been through, he admitted that he worries I will leave him for someone else once the weight is gone. :( After so long together, and making it through some hard times, I just couldn't do that. I love him way to much.


Back when I lost weight for the first time my boyfriend was also worried about me "getting skinny" and leaving him for someone "better looking". It's silly but I feel like it's a common fear with couples. I am sure the fear is minimal and I am sure that once you do reach your goals and are still right beside him, he will see just how strong you two truly are :)

Mozzy
01-29-2013, 08:35 PM
yay for supportive husbands

the shiv
01-30-2013, 12:25 PM
Well, after I posted yesterday... Today I had to post something, and I ran to the post box (it's what... Half a block?) I can do that now! I was so happy... I haven't had a NSV for a while. Told the bf about it, and what he said was pretty much "so what? Anyone can do that". He did go on to say I'm doing really well, losing weight a sensible way, not doing any fad diets or going to extremes.

Question is: am I being over sensitive about thinking that was a pretty **** reaction? If I look proud of something, just agree with me, damnit! :/

kgurlstar
01-30-2013, 01:39 PM
It is such an awesome feeling to have support from those around you. I've tried multiple times to lose a little weight. I'm not that old, only 23 but i've probably been trying since i was 16. Every time i gave up, i was accountable to no one and my family always had horrible food in the house. This time though my boyfriend has been there for me every step.
He doesn't stop me from having treats and when i say that i want something he gently asks me if i REALLY want it. To which i usually question myself and then the whole thing gets dropped. But that's what helps me.
My parents on the other hand are the exact opposite. Anything i do is never enough. I have lost 7 pounds since January 1st and my mother proceeds to tell me not to tell her anything until i have lost 10, because that's a real weight loss.
It just makes me that much more thankful of my boyfriend. Because of him i have made it a whole month eating well, the first time!!

chubbiegurl
01-30-2013, 01:58 PM
Although my hubby has been supportive I think he does have a small fear that my losing weight will cause me to leave him. He is also dieting so he tries to help me figure out the right foods and exercises to help me out.

RavenWolf
01-30-2013, 02:20 PM
Well, after I posted yesterday... Today I had to post something, and I ran to the post box (it's what... Half a block?) I can do that now! I was so happy... I haven't had a NSV for a while. Told the bf about it, and what he said was pretty much "so what? Anyone can do that". He did go on to say I'm doing really well, losing weight a sensible way, not doing any fad diets or going to extremes.

Question is: am I being over sensitive about thinking that was a pretty **** reaction? If I look proud of something, just agree with me, damnit! :/

I know I would be hurt if my husband gave me that reaction. :( And not "anyone" can do that. Heck, just a few short weeks ago, I couldn't walk around my back yard or up a flight of stairs without feeling like I was going to drop! So you know what...be proud!!! It IS an accomplishment!

My husband has been proud of my victories, no matter how small. Today I had to do 30 second runs followed by heel lifts and 1 minute of walking intervals. He came outside and quietly watched me. When I was done, he told me I looked great running, he was proud of me and that just 2 weeks ago I couldn't run 10 seconds without difficulty!

Hey..it may only be 30 seconds at a time now, but if I'm not proud of that, I won't make it to 45 seconds...or a minute. And my goal right now is to finish the 5k training in 8 weeks, the most 10 and go on to do an actual 5k!

I think him letting you know he sees the progress you are making him does save him from being a complete jerk, so at least he is letting you know he does see your effort! :hug:

bethFromDayton
01-30-2013, 02:28 PM
I told DH about some men being concerned their partners would lose weight and then leave them. He just looked confused. I asked if he worried about it and he just looked at me like I'd grown an extra head--of course not. He said he's happy for anything that makes me happier and healthier.

He is quite skeptical of the Beck Diet Solution tasks and eating exercises, though, but if they work for me, that's fine. I don't mention many specifics to him, because I don't want to argue about why they're good ideas. (So, he's not perfect, but that's okay, because if I'd ever met the perfect man, he'd have been looking for the perfect woman, and I'd have been s*** out of luck.)

XLMuffnTop
01-31-2013, 10:29 AM
He is quite skeptical of the Beck Diet Solution tasks and eating exercises, though, but if they work for me, that's fine. I don't mention many specifics to him, because I don't want to argue about why they're good ideas. (So, he's not perfect, but that's okay, because if I'd ever met the perfect man, he'd have been looking for the perfect woman, and I'd have been s*** out of luck.)

Haha! Quite true!!! My husband and I are imperfect in mostly compatible ways. ;)

My husband is supportive especially with food choices. We've mostly switched away from fatty meat choices, like pork and beef sausages and changed to turkey. It was a serious adjustment for him. We both lack some serious will power though and he has a wicked sweet tooth. Mostly he eats sweets out of the house or gets single servings. If he's having ice cream or something, he'll usually eat it while I'm in the garage working out so I don't even know what's going on.

He tells me I'm beautiful daily even if I have a hard time believing it. I've gained a lot of weight from the bliss of a new relationship, into having two babies, stationary job, etc. He's never once complained. I don't think he worries about me leaving him because we both know we're the most compatible people for each other. I could probably look most of my life and never find another person I could be around for more than a few hours at a time, let alone marry!