40-Somethings - Facing Menopause




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Espressowhip
01-28-2013, 04:40 PM
I don't know why the thread was closed, so I started a new one. It seems it's an interesting discussion with different voices and experiences.

I wasn't offended at all, I only wanted to express my different perspective on getting older.

Being childless doesn't mean one isn't tethered to the responsibility of caring for family members.

There are a lot of reasons why women don't have children, let's not presume that a women who has found contentment in being childless is also insensitive to those who are struggling to become pregnant against the threat of a hysterectomy.

Elivis, I hope you get your wish, if for no other reason than you wish it!

I hope this thread doesn't digress to a conversation about how insensitive childless women are, because I feel there is a constructive conversation to have about how women with children, and women without children, experience menopause differently.

I'm curious what "natural" remedies you have tired. HRT is more controversial than I ever realized, and the warnings are so strong, I'm opting to try everything else before resigning to HRT for my sleep problems.


ImImportant
01-28-2013, 04:58 PM
Hi Espressowhip, I did post a reason for closing the thread. My initial post was about skipping TOM and still feeling the symptoms of cramps & cravings. The discussion veered off in a different direction.

I hope you don't think I discounted the experience of childless women. I have several friends who are childless for various reasons and for years I have worked as the lone mom in an office full of 40 something women who have chosen not to raise children. We discuss menopause often because we are all on the same timeline.

elvislover324
01-28-2013, 04:59 PM
Thank you, espressowhip! I didn't realize the other thread got closed. I apologize if I had anything to do with it going a bit off topic. Thank you to everyone else too that replied to me there. :)


ImImportant
01-28-2013, 05:03 PM
Elvislover324 you had nothing to do with it being closed. The discussion became bigger than the initial post.

elvislover324
01-28-2013, 05:10 PM
Thank you, Imimportant. :)

Espressowhip
01-28-2013, 05:29 PM
Sorry about that, I must have overlooked where you said why.

You mentioned skipping periods (again). What have your heard/read/experienced?

I haven't cycled for 2 full months, and I'm hoping this is it! I know, it takes 12 months to be official, but I wondered if anyone missed for 2 full months then started back up? Or can I invest more in being hopeful that I'm done with the monthly visitor?

ImImportant
01-28-2013, 06:13 PM
Every woman on both sides of my family have had hysterectomies before 45 so skipping is something they never experienced. From my sister (49) and my co-workers I see that they can go as many as 6 months and still get a surprise. I have gone 2 months at the most. One co-worker (51) went a year and had to request supplies one day in the office. She was not a happy camper.

April Snow
01-31-2013, 02:09 PM
I'm 50 and finally starting to skip a cycle once in a while. But per my doctor, full menopause is likely to still be several years away.

I got the Mirena IUD which for some women stops periods completely, but I wasn't that lucky. They are lighter though, which is nice. And the doctor said that the small amount of hormones may minimize menopause symptoms. So far, so good on those but I don't know if it's the Mirena or if I'm just not having any yet!

Cramps and cravings are intermittant - some cycles yes, some cycles no, and yes, I have still experienced that on the cycles with no bleeding. But not as badly as before the Mirena, so maybe that helps with that too.

Unicorn67
01-31-2013, 03:32 PM
Espressowhip, I missed three in a row and then it came back with a vengeance!
I'm only 46 and my doctor says that is young to have missed that many and he did bloodwork but I haven't been back to get the results. He also wanted to do an ultrasound but I'm hoping I can wait til spring and it's quite a drive and our winter has been horrible for driving this year.

I have found that the last couple months losing weight is impossible. My cycle seems to be completely messed up. I can have PMS symptoms really bad and then it's two weeks before anything happens. It's driving me crazy!

Espressowhip
01-31-2013, 08:25 PM
My symptoms are such that I'm done questioning the age factor...it's on like donkey kong! I also read that peri-menopause can go on for years and years and years.

Thanks for the feedback about the absence of the cycle, I'll keep my stash of feminine products handy!

Thanks for bringing up the Merena, I'll research it. In addition to all the warnings for the HRT, I was also worried that they would cause me to cycle.

VermontMom
01-31-2013, 08:29 PM
Sorry about that, I must have overlooked where you said why.

You mentioned skipping periods (again). What have your heard/read/experienced?

I haven't cycled for 2 full months, and I'm hoping this is it! I know, it takes 12 months to be official, but I wondered if anyone missed for 2 full months then started back up? Or can I invest more in being hopeful that I'm done with the monthly visitor?

Hey ladies :) I am 52, and I missed for 3 months, then it came again :rolleyes: but thank goodness I haven't had to deal with unpleasant surprises, spotting, etc. I really should read up on the subject but I guess I don't want to face reality, deal with it and am avoiding it.

berryblondeboys
01-31-2013, 08:36 PM
The first time I ever skipped was when we were on vacation in Croatia. What a nice treat! Since then I've been like clockwork or up to every 6-7 weeks. The worst part is that I can tell my body is TRYING to ovulate and for me that means I hold onto water and don't lose. I only lose from a few days after ovulation to about a day before my period starts.

This month it's going like clockwork, but next month? 6 months from now? Ugh!

I'm only 43, but my mom was through menopause at 42, so we'll see.

MinnyTX
02-02-2013, 12:13 PM
I am 49 and have gotten very irregular going without for a couple of months then having periods for a couple of months. My problem is that back in October - which is the first month I had a period - I began having pain in my abdomen that was so bad (never even considered that it could be related to my periods) I was sent for a CT scan because my doctor thought I either had diverticulitis or kidney stones. I won't complain about the "new" missing months, but I don't like the other changes that I have experienced.

Espressowhip
02-02-2013, 05:51 PM
@berryblondeboys I also had that water gain as if I was going to start...and then never drained. Boo! Luckily that only happened once (*knock on wood*)!

I didn't bother to research until the symptoms started to get in the way of my happiness.

My paternal grandmother said she started at 40, but she tells lots of stories these days so it's hard to know if what she says is true. My mother's side is full of hysterectomies, so there is no measure.

Natalie42
02-02-2013, 10:12 PM
I am 42 and stopped having periods in October of last year. I've spotted a couple of times. About two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS/insulin resistance. This can also influence periods. My doctor has me on a low carb diet with Metformin and says that my periods will likely return. Here I just thought I was going through menopause young...I had no idea.

caryesings
02-02-2013, 11:11 PM
My gyno and I are having a bit of a standoff on this issue. My GP prescribed BCP for me at age 50 when I decided to resume my sex life after a 20 year hiatus (yes you read that correctly). 2 years ago the GP referred me to gyno when I had a positive HPV reading. Now that issue has been resolved, the gyno would like me off BCP because of my age. However I don't want to go off BCP unless I first have permanent birth control in place. She doesn't think I need to worry about it, but my periods were increasing in frequency when I went on the pill 3 years ago, so in my mind it seems like my body was trying to get me pregnant and I'm just not willing to take a chance on a late life pregnancy after doing everything possible all my fertile life to avoid.

We're currently discussing me going off BCP for 2 months and having a blood test which will tell her if I'm still fertile, and if so, then pursuing permanent BC options.

However, beau and I have only been together 2.5 years so we're not ready to put sex life on hold for 2 or more months. Anyone else having to make this decision?

Espressowhip
02-03-2013, 08:12 PM
@Natalie The doctor ran a bunch of tests on me too, at age 41, because of my reports of peri-menopause symptoms, but all came back negative. There are lots of reasons for irregularities, and unfortunately as we get older our systems are more likely to have problems, thus complicating the whole thing.

@Carysings I've never been in your position, but from what I've read, your doctor is correct. Once fertility starts to decrease, it does so rather rapidly, so at 53, it's incredibly unlikely! Do some research on your own and you'll put your mind at ease. Rock on!

So that stuff I was taking decreased the frequency and duration of the hot flashes for 5 days, and then on the 6th day my body made up for all the hot flashes it didn't have in the days before. I still slept well, but while I was awake I was pretty miserable. It seems back to tolerable levels today.

Espressowhip
03-02-2013, 11:37 AM
That stuff I'm taking seems to be helping. I take the day time and night time capsules. My hot flashes are less frequent overall, and generally don't last as long. Or, that is to say, I'm a lot less bothered by hot flashes and night sweats than I was 3 weeks ago.

trukmek
03-10-2013, 11:14 PM
Interesting subject.

I have been on BCP for about five years now, but only to regulate my cycle as I was getting very heavy periods every three weeks. I was wondering if that was the beginning stages of peri-menopause. Now I take a diuretic that messes with my hormones, and have noticed that my periods are unpredictable in duration and heaviness of flow. Problem is, I don't know what is caused by the BCP, what is caused by diuretic, and what is mother nature.

LaVon
03-20-2013, 04:12 PM
Hello everyone! I am hoping (desperate actually) for some help. I am in pre-menopause and am having a terribly time losing weight. I joined a gym in the hopes that it would work, but I ended up gaining weight! I cannot lose a pound to save my life! Please, does anyone have any suggestions? I am open to them! Thank you!

trukmek
03-21-2013, 10:07 AM
LaVon...what else are you doing to lose weight? Do you count calories, fat grams, cut out carbohydrates? Just exercising won't necessarily do it.

Is it at all possible that what you are losing in fat weight, you are gaining in muscle weight? Remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so a little muscle will replace a lot of fat.

Kristy

bbrides
03-21-2013, 12:09 PM
My gyn has seen my weight increase steadily over the past 6 years. She prepared me that being pre-menopause can be very challenging not only emotionally, but also with a completely different type of weight gain. This abdominal weight is crazy. She told me increasing my activity and reducing daily calories is the best approach to, but to be patient because the weight comes off slower as you age. I think we should all receive a special notice when we hit 40 "Start getting fit now, because menopause is coming". I was
pretty much in denial that my weight would get this high. My whole family is heavy but I never had any weight challenges until my last cancer when I was 42. My doctor said all the radiation put me into pre-menopause. I am having to learn how to eat a better balance of foods, push myself to exercise, go without my cycle for 4 months, have it start again, getting use to my VERY straight hair having crazy waves in it now from my hormones and
finding a way to like myself while trying to lose this weight. It has been a very strange 6 years so I'm hoping to just ignore the menopause and get on with a healthy life.

Garnet2727
03-21-2013, 12:54 PM
My gyno and I are having a bit of a standoff on this issue. My GP prescribed BCP for me at age 50 when I decided to resume my sex life after a 20 year hiatus (yes you read that correctly). 2 years ago the GP referred me to gyno when I had a positive HPV reading. Now that issue has been resolved, the gyno would like me off BCP because of my age. However I don't want to go off BCP unless I first have permanent birth control in place. She doesn't think I need to worry about it, but my periods were increasing in frequency when I went on the pill 3 years ago, so in my mind it seems like my body was trying to get me pregnant and I'm just not willing to take a chance on a late life pregnancy after doing everything possible all my fertile life to avoid.

We're currently discussing me going off BCP for 2 months and having a blood test which will tell her if I'm still fertile, and if so, then pursuing permanent BC options.

However, beau and I have only been together 2.5 years so we're not ready to put sex life on hold for 2 or more months. Anyone else having to make this decision?

I turn 50 this year. I've been on depoprevara for 13 years and haven't had a period in all that time. At my appointment for my yearly poke and prod last year, my gyno talked about taking me off depo for a while and then doing that blood test to see if I'm still fertile or not. I'm a bit worried about the notion. The main reason I'm on depo to begin with is that I had horrible, debilitating periods. I'm concerned that those will come back and really put a crimp on my life.

I have my appointment next month. I'm going to ask for a reprieve until next year so that I can lose this last 50-some pounds without having to try to deal with my period. I think she'll go for it. At least, I hope so!

LaVon
03-21-2013, 04:13 PM
LaVon...what else are you doing to lose weight? Do you count calories, fat grams, cut out carbohydrates? Just exercising won't necessarily do it.

Is it at all possible that what you are losing in fat weight, you are gaining in muscle weight? Remember, muscle weighs more than fat, so a little muscle will replace a lot of fat.

Kristy

Hi Kristy,

Yes, I am practically watching everything I put into my mouth. I think my brain tells me that I should be losing much faster than I am because I used to be able to. I probably just need to keep pressing on and not think about the pounds so much. Just the fact that I am doing something healthy for myself. I was just hoping there was some sort of herbal thing I could take to move it a little quicker! So frustrating!
:chicken:

threekidsandasheltie
03-25-2013, 08:03 PM
Hi Kristy,

Yes, I am practically watching everything I put into my mouth. I think my brain tells me that I should be losing much faster than I am because I used to be able to. I probably just need to keep pressing on and not think about the pounds so much. Just the fact that I am doing something healthy for myself. I was just hoping there was some sort of herbal thing I could take to move it a little quicker! So frustrating!
:chicken:

any chance you may be insulin resistant or have PCOS? my daughter is only 15 but she could not drop a pound no matter what she did, she actually kept gaining weight. She was finally diagnosed with insulin resistance and PCOS, she was put on birth control and metformin along with a low carb way of eating she has lost 50 pounds since August of 2012. A side note also, she was already eating low carb starting in May 2012 but could not loose the weight without the help of the metformin

2FatCats
03-26-2013, 11:56 AM
I was told I was in peri about 1 year ago @ age 41. Periods then went nutso and started getting closer and closer together, heavier and heavier and lasting longer and longer. After an ultrasound, biopsy and bloodwork, my new ob/gyn said I have PCOS and probably have had it my entire life. Good to know now.... And some fibroids/ovarian cysts now that I am over 40. Yippee. As for insulin resistant - both my parents were diabetics so no telling if it was that or the PCOS but I've had sugar issues since forever. It has not, however, affected my ability to lose weight. Thank goodness! Nor have I taken any meds for it.
Fast forward to this Thursday - D&C with an HTA endometrial ablation. Next option: hysterectomy. Double yippee.