[Babybat]

Hi
so I'm happy with how I look. I don't feel ugly most of the time, etc.
But I'm SO shy!!! To the point where I obsess over my looks and feel ugly. I feel like I'm going to "die" when I post pictures of myself online. I linked a photo of myself on my blog tonight and It's already bugging me.

This is mostly when I'm online, but I do feel shy in real life too.

I just don't understand where this shyness and anxiety is coming from... I can accept myself when I'm alone but I still feel like a hideous monster around others...
Will losing weight change this?


I give too many f's.

[the shiv]

Hi *waves* I am quite shy too! I'm tending more towards regular introvert though as I'm growing in confidence, it's really helped my shyness. Maybe that seems weird as I'm prattling away at you here Online is easier, it's too much in-person interaction that wears me down

As for losing weight making you happier, I'd say a bit of both. Being more comfortable in your own skin definitely increases confidence. But, there are no circumstances when you need to be thinking you're ugly! If you can accept yourself alone, then others can accept you too. And if they don't? Well, they are stuck being a**holes for the rest of their lives. Are you afraid that people are going to poke holes in your insecurity? When you feel like that, try taking the focus off yourself and thinking about the other person/people. Do you admire them? Want something from them (like in job interviews)? Want them to complement you? Compare yourself to them? Want to be friends? Want to hit them in the face with a frying pan?

Figure out your relationship to that person in your mind, and consider why you're coming up unfavourably in your own opinion. Journaling has helped me with this stuff a lot... If you feel ugly/inferior/whatever your thing is, start writing a stream of consciousness rant, and see what falls out of your head. Therapy can be good, it's like weight training for the mind and really helped me. Weight loss can make you feel more comfortable in yourself, but it won't make you love yourself if you hate yourself. That **** starts in the mind.

You only get so many f's you can give in a day, spend them on people who count. That includes yourself.

I hope you figure this out, and I'm going to subscribe to this thread as it's something that matters to me, it's probably the most important aspect of weight loss I went through and I always remember how much it meant to me to get this thinking under my control *hugs*

[Misti in Seattle]

Personally I have found that the "key" to getting over shyness was learning to get the focus off of myself and onto other people. It is true that when we worry about what other people are thinking about us, they aren't thinking about us at all! I used to be painfully shy but once I started forcing myself to do this and just get out there and talk to people, I found that life is a LOT more fun this way, as well as it enabling me to be more of an encourager to others!

Why not give yourself "goals" such as going up and speaking to 5 people, etc. It's a great way to get started.

[Daimere]

Honestly, finding a hobby that was body-positive helped me get less shy, even at a not small weight. The reasoning here is in studies on girls in sports, their self-confidence was higher than girls that weren't participating in sports. I link that to the fact that being able to have a physical skill allowed them confidence (learning a new skill/trick/manevour is an amazing feeling!). Now, when I was at my lowest weight, I was happier. Even people made comments about it but I don't remember being more confident...except for once. I was playing fishie fishie with the kids at work and I was out running the skinny-all-their-life coworkers. I felt proud of myself then and confident for those few minutes.

My story is: Two years ago, I wanted to lose the weight again. I wanted a fun cardio cause I was sick of the WATP. I wanted to hula hoop (or die). Well, I never did lose weight that time but I did start hula hooping. When I started really learning more tricks, I started to feel more confident with my body. Even though I was fat, I could do amazing things with my body. It made me proud of myself. I started to feel more confident around others. I still have social phobias but I put myself out there much more now, than I did years ago.

[ImImportant]

I am painfully shy, not just in person but online too. I second guess everything I say or do. I have been using this message board not only as weight loss support but also to become more comfortable expressing myself. I am using this transformative time to work on that aspect of my life so at the end of this journey I will take much more than a smaller body with me, I will have confidence. Practice, Practice, Practice. I even posted photos of my body on this message board this week, something I never thought I would do.

[luckymommy]

I've always been shy.....regardless of weight. However, when I'm skinny, I do have more confidence and people seem to find me a lot more interesting for some reason. I actually have a lot of friends and they never believe me when I tell them that I'm shy.....it's always hard work for me to hang out with them because I try so hard to be entertaining. They're usually laughing and having a great time and I come home feeling like I need a nap! I still wanna socialize...that's the weird part of it. Ok, I went off on a tangent...sorry. I think losing weight really helps but it doesn't solve the underlying personality, at least for me.