Weight Loss Support - So I got asked the big question...




Mozzy
01-23-2013, 01:13 AM
I've been on my weight loss journey since October 28, just shy of three months. I just hit 30lbs lost. Yay me! But I've been very low key about the whole thing, not mentioning anything to friends or family except my husband.

Well today my mom asked me the big question! How much have you lost???

I'm surprised at my own reaction. My first thought was "why? Do I look different?" My next thought was "oh just a little..." (Downplaying my efforts)

In the end I told her the truth, but I still feel weird about the whole exchange. I kind of wish I could continue losing weight unnoticed.


Lindsayanne716
01-23-2013, 01:17 AM
Good for you. I know how you feel. I find myself reluctant to tell ppl how much I've lost so far for fear that they will be able to calculate roughly how much I weigh lol

Arctic Mama
01-23-2013, 01:29 AM
I just give the number proudly and continue on with most folks, or to those who might give me lip about it I say 'a good amount so far!'. It's not their business, but I'm not ashamed or about to downplay it, either :)


kisskiss
01-23-2013, 01:36 AM
Good for you. I know how you feel. I find myself reluctant to tell ppl how much I've lost so far for fear that they will be able to calculate roughly how much I weigh lol

Yes to this! I know I shouldn't downplay how much I've lost. But I definitely do. I've lost 100 pounds, but if someone asks me I'll shrug and say 35 (if I even give a number). I know I should be proud of that number, and I am when I'm online, but I just feel a little uncomfortable when people ask me weight related question in real life.

Kitcherella
01-23-2013, 03:30 AM
:congrat:

Marniadec
01-23-2013, 04:48 AM
I always have to do the math right when they ask me. I always forget how much I lost. :p But why be ashamed? It's an accomplishment that you should feel proud of!

Mer du Japon
01-23-2013, 04:50 AM
I proudly tell the number! And people are always amazed at how much I lost :)

baileyboo9
01-23-2013, 07:36 AM
Ive up until recently have rejoiced at telling people how much Ive lost . For some reason Ive started to get a little weird about it now when people ask. I think its like telling someone how much i weigh (which i would never do).I got asked the other day by my sisters skinny beautiful friends and when i told them they were like "oh that's amazing well done" but i was thinking god now they must be thinking if shes lost that much and still fat how MUCH did she weigh. I think i'm being paranoid and am going to be determined to be proud of how much I've lost . YES i was that heavy ,YES i did let myself get that bad. But I have lost 73lb woohoooo

deb813
01-23-2013, 08:24 AM
I hate sharing how much weight ive lost. I always just tell them my scale is broken so im not really sure exactly.

newleaf123
01-23-2013, 08:38 AM
Congratulations!

I normally say, "oh, I'm not really focusing on the numbers, but I'm feeling great!"

April Snow
01-23-2013, 08:50 AM
I'm thinking when I get closer to goal, I might be able to tell the number and be able to be proud about it. But from past experience, I know that I didn't like giving it, even when I was over 50 lbs gone. I felt like people would think "wow, you've lost 50 lbs and you are still that fat!" :( I tried to find some middle ground and say something "I've lost a good amount but still have a ways to go."

But it's still great that you got asked the question, your hard work is showing!!

berryblondeboys
01-23-2013, 08:59 AM
Part of our problem in society is that we think we are HIDING our weight. I think it does more harm than good. We can hide many things - pill popping, bulimia, alcoholism, child abuse, extra marital affairs, but we cannot hide our weight - when we lose it and when we gain it and pretending that it's a secret is comical!

Sure, people might not know the number on the scale, but they can tell if you are a little fat, a lot fat or just right or too skinny. No long sweaters, jeans or shaggy hair will hide that. yet, we like to pretend it does. It's comical and sad at the same time.

For me, when I was getting close to goal and people would say, "Oh, you don't need to lose more." I would say, "I'm working on getting my body fat percentage down so that I'm fit. I don't really know where the scale will settle". And that was the truth.

My 160 is to another's 130 or 150 = all depending on body build. So I was honest when I said I wasn't hung up on a number.

Now that I've been close to my ideal body fat percentage and weight, I have a good idea of where the scale will be, but it's just a number and that's how I try to educate people around me too.

LockItUp
01-23-2013, 09:15 AM
It's always interesting to me how different people feel about sharing this information. When it comes down to it, you gotta just share what you're comfortable sharing!

I'm very open about it, I don't mind sharing my starting weight, current weight, measurements etc etc. I figure people saw how big I was, the number I've lost or the number I started at doesn't make me look any different!

Something I no longer openly share is how much more I want to lose. People get awfully weird about that, so I just say I don't know. In some ways that's true!

Silverfire
01-23-2013, 09:27 AM
I think I have finally come to realize that its just a number. Obviously most of us would like a smaller one, but that number is not going to determine how you feel. I got on a scale at work, for our little weight loss challenge at work and the friend who was recording the numbers looked shocked that I weigh as much as I do. Apparently I "wear it well" lol It was kind of a nice feeling to have someone think I weighed less than I do, instead of the opposite that I have always assumed people would think. I don't care if people know how much I weigh. I don't care if people know how much I lose or need to lose!

Berryblondeboys nailed it, hiding your weight is kinda silly!

Congrats on your loss and keep it up!

Ready2Lose2013
01-23-2013, 09:56 AM
I don't like to talk about it either - I feel like it invites people into the process in a way I don't want them, especially with my parents. Once they know I'm actively trying to lose weight the comments start, the judgment of everything I eat: "Are you really sure you want to eat that? You look so good!" "How many calories are in that?" "You don't want to blow your hard work!"

I hate to say it, but those comments just get under my skin and they demotivate me so much! I am way more motivated when it's a private experience...

Missy Krissy
01-23-2013, 12:23 PM
Part of our problem in society is that we think we are HIDING our weight. I think it does more harm than good. We can hide many things - pill popping, bulimia, alcoholism, child abuse, extra marital affairs, but we cannot hide our weight - when we lose it and when we gain it and pretending that it's a secret is comical!

Sure, people might not know the number on the scale, but they can tell if you are a little fat, a lot fat or just right or too skinny. No long sweaters, jeans or shaggy hair will hide that. yet, we like to pretend it does. It's comical and sad at the same time.



This is spot on! I don't get asked how much I've lost often (though people have noticed and I have gotten positive comments), but when I do I just tell the number.

This whole weight loss process has really helped me to come to terms with the scale, and realize that a number truly is just a number. Granted, I want to see that number going down, but the number the scale shows isn't as scary as it once was. It's funny, I remember weighing myself in high school and I was at 137 - that number devastated me at the time! Now I can't wait to see it again.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want the amount of weight I've lost to empower me rather than deflate me, so when asked I share it with pride!

LockItUp
01-23-2013, 12:29 PM
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want the amount of weight I've lost to empower me rather than deflate me, so when asked I share it with pride!

I LOVE that!!!

It seems like there's so much shame that can go along with being overweight, then to be ashamed of the numbers after losing it, that is not the way I wanna go! I will no longer be ashamed of myself, not of my body, not of some trivial numbers, not of anything! Even though there are definitely times I feel a bit uncomfortable with the attention I get, I do enjoy it and I've worked hard to lose all of this weight, so I try and enjoy it as much as possible.

April Snow
01-23-2013, 12:55 PM
Sure, people might not know the number on the scale, but they can tell if you are a little fat, a lot fat or just right or too skinny. No long sweaters, jeans or shaggy hair will hide that. yet, we like to pretend it does. It's comical and sad at the same time.


To me, that's the point though - that people don't know the number on the scale. They can look at me and see I am fat but they don't know if I weigh 200 lbs, 250 lbs or 300 lbs (most people anyway). And I don't think they need to know that because the fact is that people make judgements about the number as well as the appearance. So when there are many of us who get the "you don't weigh that much!" type comments, it's not that we are hiding our fat, making it invisible, it's that people are judging us less harshly because they don't add in the stereotypes that they sometimes make in the abstract about someone who weighs 250 lbs.

In the abstract, it's not uncommon for someone to think about a 250 lb woman as unkempt, lazy, constantly eating junk. That isn't who they see when they look at me, regardless of the fact that IS the number I see when I look at the scale. And I don't think I have to make it my job to tell them that they maybe should see me that way, as that 250 lb woman with the negative things they might think about someone who weighs that much.

That's why I may be more comfortable sharing numbers once I've lost a lot more weight, because by then, I won't the risk of those negative judgements even when they do the math and realize how much I must have weighed at one point. By then, they will see the achievement instead, and losing weight is considered a laudable, good thing despite the fact that having the weight to lose in the first place is considered a very bad thing.

Now of course, I'm not saying I agree with those stereotypical judgements or that I think they are correct in any way. But I don't think that it would benefit me to take on the battle of trying to change people's perceptions - I've got enough battles of my own to fight right now as it is, and I need to keep my energy focused on my own health and weight loss.

elvislover324
01-23-2013, 01:01 PM
Yay Mozzy!!! Somehow I missed this thread. So happy I just found it!!!

I never tell anyone how much I lost including my mother, but she is always the first one to notice (but she never tells me when I am gaining as she doesn't want to hurt my feelings?!).

I always just say that I don't go by the scale, I go by my clothes.

But if one of you here at 3FC or my husband should ask, I know down to the OUNCE how much I lost and will gladly tell you!!

Mozzy
01-23-2013, 01:52 PM
Thanks everyone for your responses. It's interesting to see how varied the reactions are to the same situation/question.

Vex
01-23-2013, 01:53 PM
It really blows my mind on how many comments or snippy remarks people get about their weight or weight loss. Why is it even anyone's business?

I have no qualms about telling someone my weight either back at 280 or now, but what else do they want to know? How often to I dye my hair, use the bathroom? Geez.

berryblondeboys
01-23-2013, 02:05 PM
To me, that's the point though - that people don't know the number on the scale. They can look at me and see I am fat but they don't know if I weigh 200 lbs, 250 lbs or 300 lbs (most people anyway). And I don't think they need to know that because the fact is that people make judgements about the number as well as the appearance. So when there are many of us who get the "you don't weigh that much!" type comments, it's not that we are hiding our fat, making it invisible, it's that people are judging us less harshly because they don't add in the stereotypes that they sometimes make in the abstract about someone who weighs 250 lbs.

In the abstract, it's not uncommon for someone to think about a 250 lb woman as unkempt, lazy, constantly eating junk. That isn't who they see when they look at me, regardless of the fact that IS the number I see when I look at the scale. And I don't think I have to make it my job to tell them that they maybe should see me that way, as that 250 lb woman with the negative things they might think about someone who weighs that much.

That's why I may be more comfortable sharing numbers once I've lost a lot more weight, because by then, I won't the risk of those negative judgements even when they do the math and realize how much I must have weighed at one point. By then, they will see the achievement instead, and losing weight is considered a laudable, good thing despite the fact that having the weight to lose in the first place is considered a very bad thing.

Now of course, I'm not saying I agree with those stereotypical judgements or that I think they are correct in any way. But I don't think that it would benefit me to take on the battle of trying to change people's perceptions - I've got enough battles of my own to fight right now as it is, and I need to keep my energy focused on my own health and weight loss.

This is an interesting discussion point. I think people get shocked by numbers as no one knows what the numbers mean or look like because we are all so secretive about it.

Even now in our weight loss group that I'm with at the gym, I'm one of the heaviest of the 4 women, but I'm the fittest and look the trimmest because of body build and fitness level. We simply are CLUELESS as a society what a number looks like or means.

With more of us sharing it, it's less of a shock.

freelancemomma
01-23-2013, 02:24 PM
Hmmm. I guess I'm an outlier here. I have no problem telling people my high weight, my current weight, my age, my salary... None of it changes who I am or how I look(ed).

Freelance

chubbiegurl
01-23-2013, 02:41 PM
I never wanted to disclose my weight, even If u could clearly see how big i was. I just kept thinking I wear it well, until I stood next to someone that weighed less. Now I am not worried so much about telling what I weigh, but what I used to I don't say. I guess anyone can do the math if I tell them how much I have lost. I am a numbers person always adding everything but I don't think everyone is like that.

eliza422
01-23-2013, 04:34 PM
I have only told one friend how much I lost. I never told anyone I was even dieting until my Mom this past summer was worried that I looked "ill" in a bunch of pictures. It was easy for me to hide my efforts because I work from home for a company that's one state away, and I only have a few friends and I don't have any kind of relationship - it's easy to diet when you are essentially a hermit!

I've been big since I was a kid, so I've always had a lot of shame around my weight.

I never volunteer anything. Some people have mentioned, because even *I* can tell that I've lost a lot :dizzy: ... I usually say "quite a bit, I'm still going" or just "thank you" and try to change the subject.

I wish I could be like all these folks who can share all that kind of stuff, but I've never been able to, and I'm not going to start now!