100 lb. Club - Not Proud of Myself Anymore




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coolacrity
01-21-2013, 12:18 PM
And I just made a post crowing about my mini goal of 118lbs.

Today and was cruising through a set of progress pics on her (as I like to do from time to time), and a lot of them were people posing in pants they wore at their heaviest. Well, just for fun, I decided to do that to, thinking about how I've gone from a 34 to a twenty and how it'd probably hang off me.

Oh how wrong I was.

While the pants covered my feet completely, they didn't hang. Sure, the front did, but there wouldn't be any wardrobe dysfunction if I walked around in them. Discouraged, I took a before picture of me and a current pic of me and slapped them both into Photoshop for comparison (I lined up the noses so the distance was comparable). Hardly anything was different.

I still have the horrible arms, the gobs of back fat that makes me not even LOOK like a woman..why even bother if 118lbs can hardly put a dent in it?

Has anyone else had the same thoughts about their progress?


jenicra
01-21-2013, 12:40 PM
Trust me, there's a huge difference. 120 pounds is a small person - you've lost a runway model. Try taking another picture of you in your favorite outfit (one that doesn't hang) and see if the difference is more noticeable. You've made a huge amount of weight and your mind just needs to catch up with your body.

And yes, I totally understand the feeling. I've been there. And looking back at old pictures when I thought I looked just the same as 100 lbs ago - uh, duh, no NO I did not! So I'm trying to "see" it more as I go now. And I do see it a little more this time around!

Kat117
01-21-2013, 02:00 PM
Please be proud of yourself! 118 pounds is an incredible accomplishment!

Don't let one photo ruin the pride and momentum you have going! Look at those trash magazines, even actors and actresses can look like death warmed over in a photo.

I do understand where you are coming from. I am down 74 pounds and I just started noticing that I am down to 2 chins. Other than that, I don't see much difference in the body.

SW 280+
CW 207.8
GW 120


ghost
01-21-2013, 02:15 PM
The saying "you are your own worst critic" comes to mind here. I think you may just be experiencing a bit of body dismorphia. Trust me, 118 lbs is a huge amount of weight to shift and you deserve every bit of celebration and pride in your accomplishment, whether you can see it with your own eyes or whether, for now, you must depend on friends, family and the scale to speak to you. Good freakin job!

elvislover324
01-21-2013, 02:34 PM
Hugs coolacrity! :hug:

118lbs is amazing!!!! Please don't be so hard on yourself, you are worth so much more than that.

I can't see any change in myself in a mirror and my old clothes do "fit". Technically I can wear my 3x favorite sweatshirt and it fits me. But I can wear my new 1x one and it fits all the right places and doesn't "hang" like the 3x does.

It's a big adjustment for most of us to lose all of this weight, mentally and physically. And it's a lot of pounds in between sizes for us too, compared to the ladies in one-derland.

Now that I have lost weight, I go out of my way to be more ladylike. I am worth it! I might be wearing sweats but I have a streak of eyeliner on and earrings for sure, maybe even blingy ones that don't go with sweats! Sometimes I think I do it for my awesome DH but secretly, I think I do it for me.

You have done awesome on your weightloss, keep doing what you are doing. Don't secondguess yourself now, you are a beautiful lady and we are all here to support you anyway you need.

April Snow
01-21-2013, 02:41 PM
I'm sure if someone besides you compared the pictures, they would look VERY different. I also agree with the idea of comparing a photo of yourself in clothing that fits well now, not something big and baggy.

But I can also sympathize with things not seeming nearly as dramatic as you might expect. While I only lost ~65 lbs last time compared to your amazing 118, I still didn't see a big difference, and I had clothing I was wearing at my highest that I was still wearing when I got to my low. Sure, they were snug at the top weight and looser at the lower weight, but not baggy, falling off loose.

And no matter how much I lose, a lot of my trouble issues like the perma-muffin top (there even when I don't have clothes on!) are going to be around forwever, unless I decide to surgery. So while I think that I will look somewhat better at the end, I have to remind myself this this has to be more about how I feel and my health in general, rather than thinking that I am ever going to diet myself into an amazing body. But even a slightly better appearance in a stronger and healthier body is a goal worth working towards.

FatinSTL
01-21-2013, 03:17 PM
PLEASE be proud of yourself. You don't see yourself the same way other people do. We are our worst critics!

Don't give up and don't think for one minute that you shouldn't be able to be happy about losing weight!

Amarantha2
01-21-2013, 03:30 PM
118 pounds is an awesome accomplishment & trust me, it does show to others. Clothes are funny, a lot of them shrink with us & we can't always feel a big difference so we start dissecting things & looking at all the negativities we feel about our bodies.

I assume you are taking measurements weekly or monthly. That is the only way, in my opinion, to get objective data that can give a sense of how much we shrink when we lose weight.

coolacrity
01-21-2013, 06:30 PM
I guess I may be having a mood swing or something. I've been really pensive and anxious for the past two days over some things. This just did not help. I'll compare again with some other clothing.

As for measuring every month...nnnno, actually. Eh heh. I do take them every once in a while, but I'm not vigilant. :( It's difficult to do by yourself, and I don't want to bother people to help me do it (that's also why I don't have many pictures of myself!).

theox
01-21-2013, 06:51 PM
:hug: Losing 118 pounds is a tremendous accomplishment! I suspect that other people may notice the changes more clearly than you do. Even if the visible difference isn't obvious to anybody yet, you're still doing so much for your health and well-being. AND you're a lot closer to being one of those Skinny Minnies who can stand in one leg of her "fat pants" than you would have been if you hadn't lost so much weight already. You're familiar with the Paper Towel Theory, right?

We're about the same height. In my previous weight loss attempts I started seeing the big changes in the 220s. Depending on your build, I bet that you'll start seeing some big changes when you get down to between 230-210 pounds. You're really close! Hang in there!

:carrot::carrot::carrot:

Trazey34
01-21-2013, 06:56 PM
Not to sound harsh, but what's the alternative??

You might not be the supermodel you envisioned yourself being, but you've taken tons of strain off your heart and organs and joints, you've done yourself a HUGE favour.

teekim22
01-21-2013, 07:38 PM
coolacrity you've lost an incredible amount of weight! Im not sure of your age but regardless of age when the skin gets older or stretched very heavily it can have a hard time regaining elasticity.

I try to exfoliate and moisturize my body RIGHT out of the shower. Im a big fan of cetaphil :) patience my friend!

coolacrity
01-21-2013, 08:00 PM
@theox Paper Towel Theory? No, I've never heard of that one.

@Trazey34 Actually, no, that wasn't harsh. You're right, I've taken SOMETHING off. My legs and my back used to have this UGLY brownish black scaly stuff on them all the time, it's gone now. Yaaaay. So I should celebrate that.

@teekim22 I shall keep doing all that in mind. :)

EagleRiverDee
01-21-2013, 08:09 PM
120 lbs is an amazing accomplishment, first off. So congratulations! I'm sorry you are discouraged with your progress pictures, but I'm betting it's a more amazing change than you are giving yourself credit for. And you've done great things for your health, to boot. :)

coolacrity
01-21-2013, 08:33 PM
I have taken some earlier advice and took a pic of myself in workout clothes to compare instead (no shirt). Holy moly. The change was so dramatic that I wasn't sure I lined the pictures up right. But after trying over and over again to adjust, there it was. Feeling kind of dumb now, actually.

Thanks for all the well wishes, friends. *hugs all*

gagirl1
01-21-2013, 08:44 PM
I understand how frustrating it is to not see the visible changes you had hoped for, but remember the good you have done on the inside. I know your vital organs and joints all appreciate the 118 lbs you have taken off. When you have a chance, try to pick up that amount of weight to remind yourself what you don't have to carry any longer. You have achieved a great accomplishment!

linJber
01-21-2013, 08:59 PM
You've done a fantastic job so far. Just hang in there and wait for the mood to swing the other way! I have to agree that most people would probably see what you don't even though we are looking at the same photos. I'm sure the loss is very evident. Good luck the rest of the way down.

Lin

Daimere
01-21-2013, 10:48 PM
Do not give up! I was in your same spot a few years ago. The weight loss was getting harder and I still felt like a smaller fat person. I gave up around valentines day. Then a month later, someone posted a picture on myspace. I was blown away. I didn't look like a smaller fat person. I looked like one of those girls that looked a normal-ish weight with some extra weight. I had already thought I had ruined all my work and just stopped trying. You can do this! You've done such amazing work so far! Keep it up!

Elladorine
01-21-2013, 11:11 PM
We can never see ourselves objectively; our minds immediately recognize the very basics of our appearance and fills in the rest for us, whether we like it or not.

Sounds like you were able to see things better in your second attempt. :) Something you can always try to do in the future when you're feeling uncertain about what you're seeing is to crop your head off in photoshop. Seriously, lol. Removing the head keeps your mind from filling in the gaps with what it already knows about yourself; if you've always known yourself at a certain weight your brain has a hard time seeing anything else. I think that's why it's so easy for some to gain and not notice, and to not see a difference when we've lost the weight.

Crazy how our minds work.

SarahFairhope
01-22-2013, 12:21 PM
I am so happy to hear you were able to SEE the amazing work you've done.

I'm a HUGE believe in the paper towel theory. Maybe you'll find it helpful. It goes something like this:
Think about a full roll of paper towels. Pretend you take off the first layer. Measure how long that layer was, lets say 10 inches of paper towel. Compare that roll you just took one "layer off of" and compare that with another new one. Not such a big difference, right? Even though you took off 10 INCHES of paper towel! Then think of a paper towel roll that only have maybe 3 layers on it. Take one layer off that roll. Measure it, and say its maybe 4 inches, because the circumference of a nearly empty roll is much smaller. Compare that with paper towel roll (which now has only 2 layers) with one that has one layer. You can see much more of a difference than the first two in the other example, full roll and a roll with one layer removed. Relating this back to our bodies, the cardboard roll represents our bodies, the paper towels our body fat, a layer represents a clothing size and an inch of paper towel are lbs. It takes more inches/lbs to take off the layers/sizes on bigger rolls/bodies. The good news though, is that you'll go from dropping big lbs but slow clothing size, to dropping smaller lbs but fast sizes. :)

You and I are about the same height, and I can tell you I couldn't really see much of a difference from like 260-230, unless I was in super tight clothes. Then under 230 I started to see some serious changes regardless of what I was wearing. My guess is that you are right on the cusp of really feeling and seeing those amazing results you've worked so hard for, every time you pass by a mirror - stick with it!!

betsy2013
01-22-2013, 12:29 PM
If you're like me, those size 34 pants probably had some lycra in them. In fact, did they fit comfortably or were they a little snug. The fact that they don't fall off of you yet doesn't mean that you haven't achieved something significant -- it just means that your body is still adjusting to the weight loss. I remember you mentioned that the weight loss had been fast. It will take a while for your body to adjust. But like others have said, you have lost a small person. You're doing a great job. Focus on you and how much you've accomplished. I'm both envious and inspired by you. I hope you can be, too.

coolacrity
01-22-2013, 01:14 PM
Oh, THAT theory! Yes, I do know it, just not the name!

Thanks you all. I'm going to keep going!

sontaikle
01-22-2013, 01:25 PM
I'm glad to see that you've managed to see your progress. I can't say how important pictures are. There were (and are) so many times where I just couldn't see the difference—even when I was wearing different clothes and people were commenting. A quick picture would put me in my place—still does, actually.

Even if you never ever show those pictures to ANYONE, keep them for yourself. Take them regularly to remind yourself of how you've changed.

Also, as someone else said, try to think in terms of what weighs as much as you've lost. I know some people have donated food in the number of pounds they've lost, or they'll try to pick something up that weighs the amount of weight that they've lost. I've done that last one, it's kind of unreal to do that and realize: "hey, I carried this around for years..."

Or you could go with the fact that someone else mentioned—you've lost a person! That's totally AMAZING and you should be proud!

AwShucks
01-24-2013, 01:04 AM
[QUOTE=coolacrity;4601207]You're right, I've taken SOMETHING off. My legs and my back used to have this UGLY brownish black scaly stuff on them all the time, it's gone now. Yaaaay. So I should celebrate that.[QUOTE]sorry, my quote didn't work!

That brownish scaly stuff was acanthosis nigricans -- a sign of pre-diabetes. Eliminating that is REALLY something to be proud of! Your body is infinitely healthier now that you've shed the weight. Some things you will never realize, but that one you can mark off your list!

Relish the good feelings of doing things you couldn't before. Don't TRY to see the difference. It will sneak up on you when you least expect it - in a window reflection while shopping, as you're drying off after a shower (when did my towel stretch?), when a child hugs you around the waist.

5lbs is equal to a 12 pack of canned drinks. Picture one carton for every 5 lbs stacked in the corner of your pantry... Yes, you've accomplished more than you know. :^:SMILE!

coolacrity
01-24-2013, 01:35 PM
QUOTE=AwShucks;4604590]You're right, I've taken SOMETHING off. My legs and my back used to have this UGLY brownish black scaly stuff on them all the time, it's gone now. Yaaaay. So I should celebrate that.[QUOTE]sorry, my quote didn't work!

That brownish scaly stuff was acanthosis nigricans -- a sign of pre-diabetes. Eliminating that is REALLY something to be proud of!

Actually, I AM! That's pretty scary stuff now that I think about it. I also had that stuff on my back, I think.

EDIT: And my quote only half worked! LOL