Living Maintenance - Maintainers Weekly Chat Jan 21 - Jan 27




BillBlueEyes
01-21-2013, 05:49 AM
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Perhaps motivated by all the movie talk on this thread, DW and I saw Amour. Dramatically good movie, but sobering as a view of how we might exit this place. It's hard to recommend to anyone unless they want a heavy dose of reality - albeit very well done - but both of us are glad we went. We talked about it more than we have any other movie lately.

I'm getting in more walking as my leg heals from its break in November, although limited to only two miles before it objects. Only my Physical Therapist can tell its not perfect. I'm impressed that a broken leg can heal itself so quickly. Yesterday's two walks in forty degree sunshine were joyful. January without ice and snow is good for walking - not so good for plants that wish to hibernate for the winter.

Eating has been good at meals but with some extra snacking when I feel tension. Trying to remember that food doesn't cure tension.


paperclippy
01-21-2013, 09:44 AM
Bill, sounds like you're healing up well!

We had some nice weather a few days back . . . but now it's snowing and freezing again. :lol: Oh well.

I made my goal 175g of protein yesterday. I feel like a farm animal being fattened up for slaughter. :lol: We bought some high quality protein powder that is supposed to be safe for pregnant women, and now I'm starting my day with a protein smoothie (protein powder + milk + frozen fruit) before I even get downstairs in the morning. It makes the difference between getting to 145g and 175g of protein, so I'll take it.

How do you folks on a high-protein diet manage? I feel like after I've stuffed myself with enough protein to make my protein goals, there's no room left in my stomach for vegetables. It's kind of rough because the diet I am used to involves mostly fruits, veggies, and carbs, with a little bit of protein. I can't get over this mental block that eating a massive quantity of meat and cheese is somehow bad for me.

bargoo
01-21-2013, 09:54 AM
Jessica, follow your doctor's advice and pay no attention to those offering advice no matter how well intentioned.'I got a kick out of your statement that you feel like farm animal being fattened up for slaughter, NO ! You are a about to be a new Mom giving two babies a healthy start in life.


alinnell
01-21-2013, 10:46 AM
I'm back.

I'm stressed!

I haven't had time to go over last week's chat, but I intend to once I get caught up here at work.

\rant: Who decides to take a vacation to visit people when those people themselves are on vacation? My SIL and BIL (DH's little sister) needed out of the snow and decided to come to visit us while we were on our cruise. Okay, fine, we made sure everything was ready for them before we left as we knew they MIGHT come. Well, they did. And boy did they make themselves at home. We got home late last night and I felt like a stranger in my own house. They had commandeered the counter where I put my "stuff" (purse, phone and charger, stuff I need to haul to work the next day). I had to find a new outlet to charge MY phone in MY house! And Coke and diet Coke litre bottles on the counter (you know we don't drink soda and they bought like a case at Costco!--they'd better take them with them when they leave!). And why not put them in the fridge rather than leave them out on yet another kitchen counter?/rant

Needless to say I need to bite the bullet and get working on my diet again! My skinny jeans are feeling a bit tight today.

MIL decided to invite us over for dinner tonight so I don't have to cook. Um, yeah, so just WHEN am I supposed to do my laundry? Thankfully I have this WONDERFUL son who volunteered to do it for me today on his day off from school! (He didn't actually volunteer, but he said he'd do it when I asked.) I love my son!

So I was terrified of catching a cold or the flu on the trip. Yeah, I was the ONLY one who didn't! DH lost his voice and he, my brother and SIL all got chest colds! I blame it on Belize where our zipline and rappelling trip was done in a torrential downpour and we didn't have dry clothes to change into for the 2 hour bus ride back to the ship!

Shannon in ATL
01-21-2013, 12:58 PM
That is annoying, Allison. I would be frustrated, too! How long are they staying?

Jessica - I also laughed at your 'fattened up for slaughter' reference. LOL You'll appreciate the extra protein I think - those babies are going to start pulling nutrients right out of you I would imagine. Totally worth it. Eat the cheese and enjoy it. :)

Bill - I also have a hard time not remembering that eating doesn't stop tension. Case in point, the twizzler I had this morning... Sounds like you are getting some good walking on the leg and it is healing nicely, I'm glad.

I have a friend in this week from London - due to some schedule changes we are going out to dinner with him tonight instead of Wednesday as I'd originally figured. I'm a little anxious over scheduling with the MLK holiday today, the restaurant I've searched out is in historic Atlanta and I'm wondering if there will be a crowd. It has been there since 1947 and was frequented by Dr. King and other civil rights activists back in the day. My friend won't be here until later in the day today and is picking his aunt up at the airport, who wasn't originally going to dinner with us but who now I feel kind of obligated to invite as it is her first night in town. Meh. I hate schedule complications.

alinnell
01-21-2013, 01:34 PM
Shannon~they are staying until Friday, I think. Which makes it even weirder for me. The only time we'll get to visit is after work. And if I'm going to be cooking, they darn well better clean up my kitchen first!

That would be complicated going to that restaurant, but you're right, the aunt should be invited as well.

I have a story to tell from the cruise: One afternoon, we were sitting by the pool and the "house band" was entertaining the crowd. Basically we were reading. Anyway, the singer was suddenly joined by this older black gentleman who had been swimming. He'd get up, sing a duet or part or one verse of the song and then dive back into the pool. I thought he was some random guy from the cruise (who obviously had a great voice) only to find out two days later it was Jonathan Butler! You really never knew when you'd run into one of the stars of the shows!

saef
01-21-2013, 01:39 PM
Bill, I know I'll be going to see "Amour," and I suspect it will be the best movie that I see this season. But I've also heard that older couples among my acquaintance who are frequent movie-goers have found it almost unbearable to watch, because it mirrors their current lives and their fears about the future. Which, to me anyway, means it is likely a superior work of art. Just as "Zero Dark Thirty" left me thinking that I must be careful about pursuing obsessions, lest this pursuit leaves nothing else of value in my life and I am alone at the end with no one near me (because the obsession left no room for relationships) and nowhere to go.

Anyway, "Amour" is lower on my list because it's been expanding its release and adding theaters, and will be around for a while longer. I'm trying to catch things that will be disappearing from theaters. Yesterday I saw two documentaries, "How to Survive a Plague," about ACT UP and AIDS activists, with a lot of archival footage, and "Searching for Sugarman," a really splendid movie about an unknown early 70s singer/songwriter who was dropped from his label after two records, had no career to speak of in the U.S., ended up working on demolition crews in Detroit -- but became famous & sold a half-million copies in South Africa.

Jessica, if I were you, I'd be in line at Murray's in the Village, getting a couple pounds of white goat Gouda and Humboldt Mist, Manchego, Idiazabal, Cabrales & God knows what else, whatever slivers they cut and handed out to me. Heck, I'd demand that they make me up a Spanish cheese plate, and don't be light on the membrillo and Marcona almonds. Everyone else has been chowing down on Spanish cheeses for the past five years & I have not, and yes, there's a bit of resentment in this post.

Shannon, if there's a crowd, it'll be okay. You can wait in the bar and catch up with your friend. Maybe you'll be so engrossed in talking that the time will just fly past.

Me, I'm trying to make notes toward my 4 PM interview with my boss's manager. Oh, he is a cold fish, with very little small talk whatsoever, and is well-known as being uncomfortable with women, and loves his PowerPoints and graphs and charts. The last time I interviewed with him for a managerial position, he instead chose to annoint a male rival of mine in our Egham, U.K. office. So we meet again. I must try to mute myself and talk to him the way he likes to be talked to. Statistics -- I need some statistics -- I'd better go round some up now.

Ishbel
01-21-2013, 02:08 PM
paperclippy Twins are exciting, my gf is having twins and was told there might be a third (that didn't go over well). I won't be trying for a baby for a while - it's on the horizon though. I spent enough time getting to this size that I want to enjoy the wedding dress. Freaked out the soon to be hubby when I said "if we're getting married on the 29 June can we start trying on the 30th?" Note to self: don't say that while he's driving. :D However, I consider my diet (way I eat) relatively low carb and higher in protein but I'm generally 100-130 grams a day for protein. I was concerned about how I was going to eat that much protein if I got preggers so I'm interested in what protein powder you found. How did you decide it was 'safe'?? Did the doc help for guidelines? Sorry if you find that ultra nosy...:/ You don't havta answer.

alinnell You are pretty gracious to let someone hang out in your house while you're gone...even for family. Good on ya!

saef Good luck on your interview!

So even after a coritsone shot in one hip my bursitis isn't going away but I've been approved for biking at least and some 'just for fun' cross country skiing. Appointment is made for a Physiotherapist for the 4 Feb. BUT, this weekend I'm going out cross country skiing and I'm going to wear my racing suit from Grade 7...just because I can! :D

Sheila53
01-21-2013, 02:18 PM
Saef, good luck with the interview! At least knowing what he's like you can play to his pecularities--dazzle him with PowerPoint, pie charts, bar and line graphs, and talk about how much you love Tufte.

Alison, some people just really like to make themselves "to home," as they say. Are you really going to have to cook for them? I think they should cook for you--and clean up the kitchen. What's that they say about guests and fish? :) Cool about Jonathan Butler.

Shannon, I hope it's not too crowded and that you can enjoy yourself.

Jessica, your nightmare, my dream. Lots and lots of cheese. Cheese, glorious cheese.

Bill, love your last sentence--definitely something to remember.

The deep freeze continues where I live. The weather people keep pushing the end of the freeze back--first they said Tuesday, now they're saying we won't see 32 (which will feel balmy after 9 and 10) until Saturday. My sister encouraged me to fly to the Oregon coast where it's supposed to be 52. I can only dream!

My DH has a FTF interview tomorrow and two phone interviews this week-all in our town. Our hope is that we won't have to move so we're crossing our fingers.

traveling michele
01-21-2013, 02:24 PM
Allison-- I would be super annoyed by having house guests right after a vacation......

Jessica-- I hope you are feeling well? How many weeks are you?

Ishbel-- when is your wedding? How exciting!!

Saef-- let us know how your interview goes!!! Good luck!

Hi everyone else!!!

I'm mildly annoyed by the inaguration coverage today. I have one day off and I'd love to watch dumb TV like the Today Show or Good Morning America but the coverage is on all day!

I've been productive though so far. I had my appointment this morning with my endocrinologist. He wants to adjust my thyroid meds as one of the levels is high. When I mentioned I was having trouble maintaining my weight, he asked if I can't gain weight! Ha! Ha!!!! I spluttered-- no-- the opposite. So he's going to check my hormone levels too to see if I'm peri-menopausal. Sigh. I'm fighting my advancing age but I may be losing.

Then I went to Marshalls and Costco. Later today I'm meeting a friend to walk and have coffee and then to the gym after that.

I worked out massively this weekend and ate on plan and gained a pound..... so, what's new?

bargoo
01-21-2013, 02:31 PM
I worked out massively this weekend and ate on plan and gained a pound..... so, what's new?

I feel your pain.

paperclippy
01-21-2013, 02:43 PM
Michele, I hope your endo can get you sorted out! I'm about 17 and a half weeks right now, and feeling pretty good other than still recovering from the cold/flu I had (still congested, yuck). The only major discomfort problem I'm having is lower back pain that might be sciatica. Not much to do about it other than grin and bear it. :shrug:

Sheila, LOL about Tufte. Good luck to your DH for his interviews.

Ishbel, I don't think most pregnant women need to hit 175g protein with single pregnancies. My doctor wants me to because it's monochorionic twins and apparently a high-protein diet can help prevent twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. He did give us a list of protein powders and shakes that were recommended, plus DH did some research online. Lower-quality protein powders often contain trace amounts of heavy metals -- not enough to harm an adult, but who knows what might happen to fetuses? We ended up buying Bluebonnet brand and picking a flavor that didn't have any stevia in it.

Saef, good luck on the interview!

Allison, it sounds like they only wanted to visit you as a way to get to a warm climate without having to pay for a hotel! :lol:

Shannon, can you make a reservation at the restaurant?

Shannon in ATL
01-21-2013, 03:26 PM
Jessica - I didn't realize that was the reason for the high protein intake recommendation. I have a friend that I've known since childhood who has twins who experienced TTTS in the womb. She and I have never talked about her protein intake, but I remember her diet being one I wouldn't imagine was high in it now that I know more about nutrition. Definitely eat that protein.

Steph7409
01-21-2013, 07:22 PM
I'm also trying to remember that food doesn't cure tension. Or sadness. I'm heartbroken right now: one of my cats died suddenly, unexpectedly, last night. Saturday afternoon, we were having a lovely nap in the sun. By sundown, he was at the emergency hospital. All I've wanted to do since then is eat my way through my unfortunately well-stocked cabinets.

Much less importantly, my legs have been sore and achy since Friday so I've barely worked out, which means I'm not even getting my usual endorphins. Life is sucking at the moment.

But I'm watching the inauguration coverage that I DVRd and it's quite a spectacle. I generally eschew pageantry, but I find myself feeling patriotic and proud to be a member of a democracy.

Good luck to saef and Sheila's DH on the interviews. I'm pinning my hopes on the one I have on Wednesday. Here's hoping we all get what we want!

CherryPie99
01-21-2013, 07:53 PM
I feel your pain.


ME THREE! What is the grand conspiracy against some of us maintainers lately? I was so frustrated this morning I almost kicked the scale. Which would have hurt!


Sheila - so sorry about your kitty cat. We have one elderly cat that I'm getting very concerned about!

Mudpie
01-22-2013, 05:30 AM
Steph :hug: I'm so sorry about your cat. They do tend to keep illness and injury very much to themselves. We generally don't know something is very wrong with a cat until it's too late.

Dagmar :(

Megan1982
01-22-2013, 08:48 AM
Morning all,

I was not a productive human being over my long weekend. My BF tells me to not be so hard on myself, that it's ok I relaxed. I'm not very good at doing that. I'm dreading a phone call I need to make once 9:00 rolls around at work. I have some researchers coming in the spring, and had talked with my supervisor about what parts of our facility they could use unsupervised, what resources we could offer them, etc, told them this. I spoke with my supervisor's supervisor and he (who is in fact the one in charge) is on a totally different page. I feel terrible they've been planning their research thinking they will have resources they will not - this will drastically change their project. And I'm the one who has to deliver this news. This isn't the first time my supervisor's lack of communication has caused me to have to backtrack. At this point I feel like I should "check" anything she tells me w her supervisor, which is awkward. It is frustrating.

Life lesson: Communication skills are important, people! Very, very important.

Michele, hopefully your doctor's close attention to your thyroid & hormone levels will result in him being able to help you. I hope so. You've had a tough go with the scale lately.

Saef, how did your interview go? Did you "speak his language" to your boss's boss?

Shannon, how was the dinner?

Allison, sorry about the unwanted houseguests. I would be telling my BF it's his duty to cook, clean, and entertain, it's his family! How was the cruise?

Steph, I'm so sorry. It is so difficult when we lose one of our furry companions. :hug::hug::hug:

Off to work. I hear the boss coming. Have a good day all. :)

paperclippy
01-22-2013, 09:12 AM
Steph, I'm so sorry about your cat. :hug: :grouphug: :hug:

ICUwishing
01-22-2013, 10:19 AM
Steph, I hurt with you. I lost my bunny last July; rabbits are the same way - hard to know anything is wrong til ... it's awful. :(

traveling michele
01-22-2013, 10:24 AM
I'm so very sorry Steph. I understand your heartbreak. Hugs to you.

alinnell
01-22-2013, 10:52 AM
So sorry about your cat, Steph. It is so hard to lose a pet--and to have it so unexpected makes it much worse.

Megan~the cruise was spectacular! The music was absolutely to die for. There were so many people who had done this cruise several times before and they said we'd love it and we did.

I thought I'd get home and get right back on the diet bandwagon but with house guests it is not to be. Last night we went to MIL's for dinner. Burgers on white buns with baked beans. No salad except the lettuce and tomato for the burgers. Tonight we're on our own, but she made spaghetti the other night and there are tons of that left over. Tomorrow everyone is coming over for pizza. Thankfully the house guests leave Thursday (and the house cleaners come then, too!).

So while MIL stayed with us she did some grocery shopping for me (I wish she hadn't). Non-whole wheat bread (that is already feeling stale), sourdough muffins (instead of my whole wheat), a red pepper that should have been eaten a week ago (I'll throw most of this out). And half a dozen avocados which will probably go bad before I have a chance to eat them.

krampus
01-22-2013, 11:11 AM
Steph, I'm so sorry about your cat :( They really do keep their pain to themselves until it's too late.

Jessica...CONGRATS!!!!!!!!! I had no idea.

Shannon in ATL
01-22-2013, 11:25 AM
Steph - I'm so sorry about your kitty. :hug:

Allison - this too shall pass, they will be gone soon. I'm glad that you enjoyed the cruise, though! :)

Megan - it seems like we talk to people all the time, communication should be so easy but it isn't. I'm sorry you have to give bad news to your researchers.

Michele - exercise always makes me swing up in weight, too. Makes me crazy. I don't actually know what peri-menopausal means in the real world, but I hope that the doctor sorts things out for you.

Sheila - I hope DH's interview goes well today, honey!

Saef - how did your interview go yesterday?

My dinner went well last night. The restaurant was not busy at all for dinner, they were busier during the day apparently but died after 6. They were listed on the website and on FB as open until 9, though as we were leaving at 9 we realized that they were actually only open until 8. Eek. As there weren't very many people there when we arrived at 7 anyway we just figured it was slow on Monday, had no idea we kept them an hour late. They didn't give us a hard time at all - they sold us fantastic desserts after 8, didn't pressure us to leave, didn't let us know that they were closed, nothing. And the food was fantastic. My friend wanted southern food, so I found him southern food. I considered other things on the menu, but when in Rome. :) We had fried green tomatoes and handmade potato chips with melted cheese and hot sauce for appetizers, I had fried chicken with collard greens and cheese grits for the entree, mini cornbread muffins, some of my friend's macaroni and cheese, shared pecan pie and peach cobbler for dessert. It was fantastic. Just fantastic. And my weight was the same today as it was yesterday - a little high from popcorn on Sunday, but not nearly as bad as expected. Back in the real world today I hope. LOL We have the potential of dinner out with friends again tonight, I'll pick somewhere with healthier choices.

Steph7409
01-22-2013, 03:45 PM
Thanks, all, for the sympathy. He was a really good cat and I'll miss him.

Shannon, homemade chips with cheese and hot sauce sound fabulous. I may have to try some variation of that.

Allison, think how nice it will be to get your house and routine back! I have a hard time with house guests for more than one night. Fortunately, my house is tiny and I have no guest room so no one wants to stay anyway.

Megan, you are so right about communication. Sometimes it's irritating to have to continually confirm what other people are thinking but it saves trouble in the long run. We humans do a lot of talking but rarely say enough that matters.

I'm having an oddly good day at work which is making me feel guilty about my hopes to leave here soon. I think I need therapy, or medication, or something. Maybe chips with cheese and hot sauce...:)

saef
01-22-2013, 03:58 PM
Steph, I'm also sorry to hear about your cat's death. I don't have my own cat, but I love deeply my mother's cat, Fritz, as we developed a close relationship when I stayed with her for almost a year while my apartment was renovated. He slept with me every night, and since I was up and about very early in the morning, before going to the gym, I always fed him and let him out & then in again. And when I was working at the desk in the living room, he always walked past to get his ears rubbed, and if he felt so inclined, jumped up on the desk and walked over my laptop keyboard. When I am in my blackest moods, I think of my mother losing Fritz -- because that's what happens with animals, no matter how much you love them -- you lose them. But it's better than never having had them at all, isn't it? And they know when they're loved and safe. That is what you gave to your cat, that kind of love and reassurance. I have to think we're better people for loving & caring for our animals.

I'm here procrastinating over writing my interview thank-you note. I know I did better than when I interviewed with this man last year. Parts of the interview went splendidly. At some points, I know I babbled. I have to remind myself that it's okay to be silent for a moment, to reflect on what I want to say, and also that I must listen. I'm like Scheherazade & think my life depends on my keeping talking, that amusing the sultan can fend off any danger to me.

It's so cold in my apartment today that I'm on my sixth cup of coffee of the day. (I went to decaf by the third cup.) I'll recommend it here: It's New England brand, sold at some mini-marts around here, and the flavor is French Vanilla.

Jen, when I saw those pictures of you in the other thread wearing the bikini, I thought: "This is the woman who doesn't like her thighs?" Um, are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high. And yeah, I understand that totally, as you & I are on the same wave length on so many things. I have to admit, I think I'm trying, without stating it outright or admitting it to myself, for a fitness model's midsection. On some level, I know that's insane. On some level, I know it's beyond mere maintenance. It's overcompensation on my part for years of being fat, unfit, far from hot. It's me trying to see how much control I can exert in shaping my body. But this is what I worry about: Will I get to a state where maintaining my appearance crowds out all other interests & hobbies, and can't survive the minor derailments that life throws at us all? How sustainable is this routine of mine? I keep saying, yeah it is, but the truth is, if I get this new job, or if I go back to writing for myself, not just for my job, those things could enrich my life, but it will make it hard to keep up exercising two hours a day & doing all the cooking, recipe research and marketing required to eat as I do. So do I say no, I won't advance in my career, or let the wings of my mind unfurl any further, because I have to use all my energy and time to concentrate on my appearance? That is the hard question that keeps facing me these days.

saef
01-22-2013, 04:03 PM
And the food was fantastic. My friend wanted southern food, so I found him southern food. I considered other things on the menu, but when in Rome. :) We had fried green tomatoes and handmade potato chips with melted cheese and hot sauce for appetizers, I had fried chicken with collard greens and cheese grits for the entree, mini cornbread muffins, some of my friend's macaroni and cheese, shared pecan pie and peach cobbler for dessert. It was fantastic. Just fantastic. And my weight was the same today as it was yesterday - a little high from popcorn on Sunday, but not nearly as bad as expected.

I'm considering this a major victory, and also, that you had a great time at the restaurant when you'd worried a lot about your evening -- that is a sign of successfully jumping the tracks.

You know, I think I can feel you getting stronger as the days go past, or maybe it's just that you're posting here more, and I have some greater visibility into someone who **already** was strong but underestimated herself.

CherryPie99
01-22-2013, 09:04 PM
Jen, when I saw those pictures of you in the other thread wearing the bikini, I thought: "This is the woman who doesn't like her thighs?" Um, are you a perfectionist, by any chance? You look like one of the fittest beings I've seen lately outside of professional trainers and high-ranking amateur athletes. Your standards for yourself are very, very high. And yeah, I understand that totally, as you & I are on the same wave length on so many things. I have to admit, I think I'm trying, without stating it outright or admitting it to myself, for a fitness model's midsection. On some level, I know that's insane. On some level, I know it's beyond mere maintenance. It's overcompensation on my part for years of being fat, unfit, far from hot. It's me trying to see how much control I can exert in shaping my body. But this is what I worry about: Will I get to a state where maintaining my appearance crowds out all other interests & hobbies, and can't survive the minor derailments that life throws at us all? How sustainable is this routine of mine? I keep saying, yeah it is, but the truth is, if I get this new job, or if I go back to writing for myself, not just for my job, those things could enrich my life, but it will make it hard to keep up exercising two hours a day & doing all the cooking, recipe research and marketing required to eat as I do. So do I say no, I won't advance in my career, or let the wings of my mind unfurl any further, because I have to use all my energy and time to concentrate on my appearance? That is the hard question that keeps facing me these days.

Saef, your response totally and completely threw me - because I don't see this AT ALL! I mean I know that I'm in decent shape, but I don't think of myself at all as being towards the top of any fitness standard! And I know you'll laugh at this but the way I was standing in that pic made my thighs look better then they really do.

But I was thinking of this over the weekend when my scale number was pissing me off - and I think it's along the lines of what you are saying - when I first started this journey, I didn't even want to be "average" I just wanted to be not so fat anymore. At what point did I "have" to be "better than"? I realized this weekend for the first time, believe it or not, that I'm thinner and more fit then the average american woman and it's still not good enough.

I certainly know what you mean about sustainability as well as sacrificing other parts of a quality life for looking good. If anyone here figures out the answer to this, please let me know!! :)

Mudpie
01-23-2013, 05:39 AM
We all are surrounded by images of women in the media who are unnaturally tall and painfully thin (or photoshopped to look thinner). Since this is mostly what we see we think we have to look like this. Even if our rational minds say "no, regular people don't look like this" we are still awash in a sea of images of unnaturally thin people. I find that this tends to subconsciously colour my impressions of what women "should look like".

I go to the mall sometimes to pick up mail, grocery shop, etc. I get a pretty good reality check of what size and shape a lot of people are in from there.

And most of the other dogwalkers are about my size and roughly my weight or bigger. I am in better shape than most of them as I work out on top of all the walking and I watch what I eat etc. I am quite proud of being one of the oldest dogwalkers in the beach and keeping up with the younger folks.

Speaking of I better go do my yoga - it's minus 20C outside and I need to be limber today to get through the 5 dogwalks.

Dagmar :brr:

paperclippy
01-23-2013, 09:54 AM
Good morning folks!

Saef, when do you find out if you got the management job?

Shannon, sounds like your dinner was lovely!

Jen, now I want to see your bikini photos. :lol: Can you link me to where they're posted?

Dagmar, it is quite alarming when you look at the difference between the women you see on TV and the women you see in daily life. There are also regional differences for sure -- I find that here in the midwest there are far more extremely overweight people than there were back in LA.

DH is working from home today because we are getting a new dishwasher! Our old one was leaking, and when DH investigated how to repair it, it turned out that half of it was rusting away anyway so we decided to just replace it. Hopefully the installation will go smoothly. It will be nice to have a working dishwasher again so DH does not have to spend so much time doing dishes (it's true, he does all the dishes, I do none).

In other news I went to Goodwill last night and scored myself a winter coat that will fit my giant belly. I can barely zip up my current coat -- I'm expecting by next week I won't be able to zip it. It was kind of funny because I'm pulling all these gigantic coats off the rack -- men's coats, size 20 coats, etc -- and they look absolutely ridiculous because the shoulder seams are at my elbows and such. Then I found this coat that actually fits my arms and shoulders AND has a gigantic stomach! No tags in it, so I'm not sure whether it's a coat someone made themself, or they just removed the tags, but I'm fairly certain it's either a maternity coat or one that's designed to be super-drapey. The outside is black and some kind of waterproof material, which is fine, but the lining is leopard-print faux fur! :lol: Not my style at all, but it only shows at the collar and cuffs, and the coat was only $10, so I will deal.

CherryPie99
01-23-2013, 11:30 AM
Jen, now I want to see your bikini photos. :lol: Can you link me to where they're posted?


Here is the direct link to my blog post that includes the pics:

http://jenhudsonmosher.blogspot.com/2013/01/9-months-post-op.html

Keep your expectations low :D

Jen

Sheila53
01-23-2013, 11:37 AM
Jen, you look wonderful! I know you see all the "flaws," but truly you look great. The muscles in your arms are amazing. That's a lot of hard work showing.

Jessica, congrats on scoring such a great find at the thrift store. It takes a while to pick through the stuff, but you can get such good deals if you're willing to put in the time. And since you know you're only going to need the coat through one winter, why pay big bucks in the maternity store?

alinnell
01-23-2013, 11:41 AM
Jen~yesterday I sent the link to your blog to my DD (who has lost about 70 pounds and is interested in becoming a personal trainer). She was amazed at how far you've come. I agree. You really look good! But we all see our own flaws magnified tenfold.

Megan1982
01-23-2013, 12:08 PM
Hi all,

More work frustrations here. Anyway blah blah blah. I know I post this type of thing a lot. This is just not sustainable long term. These frustrations are bringing so much negative energy into my life. At the same time, I live in a rural area with very few jobs in my field and my BF does not have a job that is transferable to other areas. I like where I live and I love my BF, which is why I haven't made a change. I feel rather stuck in some ways. Anyway, thanks for listening and I apologize if I post about "work frustrations" a lot.

Jessica, glad you found a coat! My DS made the "mistake" with her second pregnancy of not being pregnant during the same time of year. She couldn't use all of her same maternity clothes, and her second daughter has a lot of hand-me-downs but some aren't seasonally appropriate. Thank goodness for Goodwill and hand-me-downs.

But this is what I worry about: Will I get to a state where maintaining my appearance crowds out all other interests & hobbies, and can't survive the minor derailments that life throws at us all? How sustainable is this routine of mine? I keep saying, yeah it is, but the truth is, if I get this new job, or if I go back to writing for myself, not just for my job, those things could enrich my life, but it will make it hard to keep up exercising two hours a day & doing all the cooking, recipe research and marketing required to eat as I do. So do I say no, I won't advance in my career, or let the wings of my mind unfurl any further, because I have to use all my energy and time to concentrate on my appearance? That is the hard question that keeps facing me these days.

I can certainly relate to this. Every week day I work 8 hours, I have my exercise time, and I have to sleep. It takes effort to prepare any food, let alone healthy food, on top of that and when I add something else to the mix or I have a 12 hour workday I feel totally thrown off and often fail to meet my health goals on those days. I recognize that I have a short commute, a job that is only an 8 hour days most of the time, the weather around me is pretty conducive to exercising most of the time. I don't have a lot of the obstacles others may have to keep me from a healthy lifestyle and have no idea how people who work 12 hour days or have 2 hour commutes do anything else. (I must add I really have no idea how any mom out there finds time for exercise. Kudos to you!)

Wow Jen, you look great!!! Congrats to you for all your hard work. We are definitely our own worst critics.

paperclippy
01-23-2013, 12:25 PM
Jen, thanks for the link, you look great! In the distance shot the scars and stretch marks aren't visible at all. Speaking of stretch marks, I saw something motivational online the other day that was intended for women who have stretch marks from childbearing, but I think could apply to people who have lost a lot of weight too -- you're not a woman with ugly stretch marks, you're a tiger who's earned her stripes!

Sheila, exactly, it seemed ridiculous to spend $100+ for a maternity winter coat that I'm going to wear for 2 months and then never again.

Megan, vent away about your work frustrations. :)

As far as balancing life opportunities with weight maintenance routine, I think it's important to work on learning to be adaptable. Life goes on, regardless of whether or not you can keep up your routine. Perhaps if you make some small changes as "practice," then when you have a big life change it will be easier to adapt. It's important to remember that while right now you are eating and exercising a particular way to maintain, that routine may not be appropriate in the future and may need to be modified. This could just be because of your body aging, even if you're careful to keep your other life events tightly controlled -- it's not really avoidable. Humans are remarkably adaptable creatures. Take the job, take a chance, and you will be able to find a way to modify your routine so that you can still maintain your weight. It might involve changing your cooking/eating or exercise habits, but it is doable!

Mudpie
01-23-2013, 07:00 PM
I have just installed the "cadillac" of dishracks on my counter - 4 parts! (one of which doesn't make sense). My Oxo "good grips" metal steamer is in the cupboard (DH refused to eat thing steamed in the plastic one). And my other ridiculously expensive toile de jouie oven mitt from Williams-Sonoma (a Christmas gift I reqeusted from my now wealthy cousin) arrived in the mail. I am now truly well equipped with awesome kitchen stuff.

And I made a pizza for dinner - vegetarian from scratch. Somehow I feel like I should be preparing beef wellington or something. :lol:

Dagmar :brr: (thank goodness this day is over)

Steph7409
01-23-2013, 08:44 PM
Dagmar, I'd much rather have pizza than beef Wellington. I'm not much of a cook myself but I do love the gadgets. I recently got a mini pie crimper thing that you use to cut the crust, then fill and crimp it. Fun. (And I hear you on the cold! I was glad to be in my overheated office today.)

Jen, let me also say that you look great. I'd love to have those arms. And I'd love to be able to run as much as you do.

Megan, you have my sympathies on your job frustrations. I know how all-consuming that can be, even when you don't want that to happen. I used to get really annoyed with one of the partners at my old firm when he'd say that people should do what they love. For many of us, that's a luxury we can't afford. I'm pretty sure I couldn't make a living baking cookies and making little beaded purses. I'll settle for a job that doesn't make me hate my life.

Speaking of which, my interview this evening went well. The two partners I met with seem very nice and I get the feeling that it's a friendly office. I'm pretty sure they'll offer me a job, so it's just a question of whether they can pay me what I want - which isn't that much, but they're a small firm.

I've been thinking about saef's post, musing on balancing control and sustainability. I've convinced myself that losing 10 or 20 more pounds won't make my stomach flap go away or my breasts any perkier, so why bother? But the truth is that it would make me look and feel better, and that I have to be much more vigilant about reverting back to my old eating habits. They've been creeping back - actually, not so much creeping as stampeding - and I need to stop making excuses about it.

Ishbel
01-23-2013, 10:18 PM
Steph I was so sorry to hear of your kitty :( I have two and I snuggled mine closer tonight.

traveling michele We're getting married on the 29 June, I try hard not to think of it actually unless I'm prepared to focus on it. He's pretty awesome, gave me a good story and asked me to marry him while we were at Edinburgh Castle Scotland. :)

paperclippy Thanks for the info on the protein. :) Babies are exciting! :)

Megan1982 If it makes you feel better about your relaxing weekend we went a week over the holidays doing nothing but puttering around the house (small do to lists but most only took an hour so we could spread them out over a few days). In fact, one day I got ready for work to feel 'normal' and the VIP said "where ya going?" and I said "no where, I just want to feel normal". Although it did feel slightly odd, it felt like we both had the rest we needed during that time.

CherryPie99 You look FAB dahling! :) Thanks for sharing so much, I really appreciate it! :)

I'm feeling under the weather, have a sore throat and have purchased nyquil tablets and sugar free halls. Bah!

On a lighter note my VIP recieved the Queen's Diamond Jubliee medal today for all his volunteer work over the last probably 20 years (He's been volunteering for a long time as he's only 39). In typical 'medal' fashion you cannot pin the medal on unless it's been offically delgated by the Queen/Governor General of Canada (lots of rules with medals) so his boss's boss's boss gave him a hand shake and handed it to him. Once it's awarded he can wear it...and put it on himself or have someone help him...so I took it and said "let me do it, I'm a princess!". :queen:

I'm pretty proud of him! :)

Shannon in ATL
01-23-2013, 10:25 PM
I'm considering this a major victory, and also, that you had a great time at the restaurant when you'd worried a lot about your evening -- that is a sign of successfully jumping the tracks.

You know, I think I can feel you getting stronger as the days go past, or maybe it's just that you're posting here more, and I have some greater visibility into someone who **already** was strong but underestimated herself.

Thanks for this, Saef. I'm working hard on being strong again. I was proud of myself as well - in the recent past I would have locked down looking at the menu and either found a way to cancel or moved us to a different place with a big salad. Or, eaten badly and beaten myself up over it. I think that the 'controlled eating' I worked on Monday was a victory. I didn't eat all of anything, except the collard greens, didn't eat past the point I was full, and haven't been angry over it at all. I think I'm coming back and getting some confidence in my decisions again. You guys have been a big part of that.

Shannon in ATL
01-23-2013, 10:54 PM
Jen - you look fantastic! You have made such progress, it is inspiring to see.

Megan - vent away about work all you want. I'm not in the happiest work place right now, so I am likely to start venting about mine any minute. LOL

Ishbel - congrats to VIP! :) That is a great recognition for a wonderful thing he's doing.

Steph - I hope that they are able to offer you what you need. Do you have a low limit that would be acceptable if they can't get to what you are asking for? And yes, the chips were AWESOME. :) I love hot sauce on anything anyway.

Dagmar - I would much prefer your pizza as well. Sounds like you are stocked and ready!

Jessica - great coat find! You can rock the animal print for a few months. All the kids are doing it. LOL

Saef - I have asked myself that same question more than once. Can I keep this up forever? What am I giving up to do this thing? I turned down social events because I had an exercise plan, I didn't join a bookclub I looked at because I had to work out and they might have finger food, etc. I did become obsessive and quite single focused, and the answer for me was that I couldn't sustain it. I crashed pretty hard this summer and am working on coming back with things I can manage again. I've found crock pot meals I can put together in the morning and have dinner waiting after I run. I just ordered a small deep freeze actually, so I can prep lots of meals at the start of the month and freeze them so I can just pull a bag and go on busier days. I'm finding workout routines that are shorter with more impact so I can limit exercise time and still feel good about the workout. I've become somewhat dissatisfied with my career choice lately and have considered going back to school or looking for something different, but my job has flexibility that allows me to control diet and exercise and work from home and exercise on lunch. A new job wouldn't do that, and school would take that time. I've avoided those two things out of fear, but I might not be able to do that anymore. Reading your post actually made me take a hard look at myself as I was thinking of my response to you - I say to you take the job, write for yourself, take the risks. If they are what you want. Like Jessica said, you can adapt to the new situation and still take care of yourself. If you don't do those things out of fear of what might happen you walk closer to closing yourself off completely and giving over to the obsession of maintaining that image. You have to trust yourself to continue to take care of things, so you don't crash. And you can take care of things, you're awesome.

I spent more time with my friend today - we drove down to where we went to college - neither one of has been back since 1995 when he graduated. Everything looked so small. Our residence hall is gone, they razed it and the one next door and built a four building residential complex connected by a central area with offices and meeting rooms. The path to get to our building is still there, and leads to the new one. We stood at the student center and looked down that path and remembered how long it used to seem, how much we complained about that walk. We crossed over to the building, walked through it and across the parking lot and up the hill to the science building. I remember that hill being so steep and such a long walk every day that I changed a major over it. We passed by and continued to the dining hall, which we never went to, again because of the long walk. Kept walking, crossed up past some other buildings and circled back down to where we started. All we could talk about was how we used to fuss so much about that, and drive and park illegally and get tickets, or not do a thing over it when it was so close. I can't believe the perception now compared to then. I'm running a freaking half marathon in three weeks and I couldn't walk what I know now was about 1/4 mile if that much from my residence hall to the student center? I was that lazy, really? Yes. Obviously. And all the buildings looked small. The library we used to think was huge looked small, and kind of sad. And they've changed the mascot, so even the signs didn't look right. It was good to go back and look around and remember things that we loved about it, but I'm not going to picture what I saw today in my memory. I'll still see my residence hall and the huge library and the long path to the science building and my mascot is an indian brave not a bright blue timber wolf.

ETA: I forgot I had on my BodyMedia Fit today - I just checked the pedometer. In the hour and a half roughly that we were walking we went 4012 steps, so roughly 2 miles. And that was a circle of all of the places we never wanted to walk to, and across campus to classroom buildings. A walk to any of those on a regualar day back then would have been significantly shorter. Wow.

saef
01-23-2013, 11:24 PM
Take the job, take a chance, and you will be able to find a way to modify your routine so that you can still maintain your weight. It might involve changing your cooking/eating or exercise habits, but it is doable!

Jessica, thanks for this encouragement. I'm still waiting to hear what my manager and her manager have decided. I'm at peace with both interviews and feel I've done the best that I could, that my performance ratings for the past two years speak for themselves. I don't know who's competing with me for the position. They did say they wanted to make a quick decision but that's a comparative term in this corporate world where paperwork goes back & forth.

Megan1982
01-24-2013, 09:19 AM
Jessica, you are right that adaptability is very important. I don't think I'm great at it, but I am continually trying to flex my adaptability muscles. I'm a creature of habit, routine, and comfort. I'm not saying that is always a good thing, lol. I keep trying to find a balance.

I think our society dictates that should individuals be offered a promotion, or step up in their workplace, it's the "right" thing to do to take it. I might worry about my healthy habits if offered a promotion with more responsibility, but I don't think I would turn it down. It's easier for me to turn down things that are "just" social occasions to keep my routine. This doesn't make total sense. I know it's important for me to relax and spend time with my friends. It makes me a happier person. I just keep striving for balance here, too. One skipped workout to spend time with friends, even if there might be off-plan food, ok. Two nights in a row, gotta get a workout in there somewhere, and can't overeat two nights in a row. I think I can "handle" about two social occasions a week. Three is pushing it. I hate going out of town for work meetings. :p Balance, balance, balance.

Saef I've got my :crossed: for you.

Steph, I'm glad your interview went well. Let us know what happens.

Ishbel, congrats to your VIP! 20 years of service is very impressive. Good for him.

Dagmar, I love my kitchen gadgets, too. My kitchen is well-stocked but I do try to consider everything I bring into it, as I have very little storage space.

saef
01-24-2013, 09:38 AM
Speaking of which, my interview this evening went well. The two partners I met with seem very nice and I get the feeling that it's a friendly office. I'm pretty sure they'll offer me a job, so it's just a question of whether they can pay me what I want - which isn't that much, but they're a small firm.

Isn't interviewing fun -- when it's over? I always feel as if I'm going before a dissertation defense committee or some kind of oral exam (and I don't mean by a dentist). But to calm myself, I keep telling myself, "It's just two people having a civil conversation about a job."

I've learned that my experience on the other side of the desk in interviewing candidates over the past year has not helped me see interviews as a routine occurrence. We added four positions within my department, finally hiring the last candidate just a few weeks before the year closed. Each time I interviewed someone, I got a little nervous before doing the interviews, because I felt I was also under scrutiny. But, of course, the internal uproar was nowhere near what I felt when I was the supplicant, hoping to get something that someone else had all the power to confer or withhold.

Good luck to you on getting what you want and at obtaining your price.

bargoo
01-24-2013, 09:45 AM
saef, I hope your interview works out positively for you. I can think of two intereviews that I had that I thought went really bad, in both cases I was offered a job and accepted.

paperclippy
01-24-2013, 09:46 AM
Megan, it's true, society says taking a promotion is always the "right" thing to do when it's not really the case. Saef's post made it sound like she wanted the new job and it would be a benefit to her, which is why I suggested she take it (if offered). I think if I were to be offered a step up job, it would depend on the expectations. If they wanted me to work overtime or travel a lot, I wouldn't take it, but if it was more responsibility that was with the same amount of travel and the same hours, I'd definitely take it.

In other news, we got our new dishwasher yesterday! We ran it empty to make sure it didn't leak or anything, and I'm running the first full load right now. The rack is set up very differently from our old one so I'm not entirely sure how to load it. The manual has a "suggested loading pattern," but the shape of my dishes is so different from the ones in the photo that my dishes don't fit in that pattern. This may require some trial and error! It is far, far quieter than our old one though which is very nice.

Shannon, I am so with you on the college campus laziness. I was at my high weight in college, and I often avoided going places because they were "so far away" when really it was like 1/4 mile. I rode my bike everywhere that I thought was "far", and looking back, none of those places were more than a mile away from my dorm. (To be fair, there was one class I biked to because there was no way I could make it from there to my next class on foot without being late, but still.)

saef
01-24-2013, 09:47 AM
In fact, one day I got ready for work to feel 'normal' and the VIP said "where ya going?" and I said "no where, I just want to feel normal". Although it did feel slightly odd, it felt like we both had the rest we needed during that time.

After about two days of loose old Gap jeans, no makeup & perfunctory blowouts of my hair, it actually feels good to me to thoroughly "do" my face, put about three products in my hair and slip my feet into a nice pair of shoes. It really brings me back to attention. Also, this is probably weird, but when I am that relaxed and sloppy, I feel "fat" & am convinced I've gained weight, even if I haven't. I think I equate being "thin" with standing at attention and maintaining a certain level of tension in my life. I am really trying to figure out what "feeling fat" really indicates because it's way beyond a scale reading or a number.

saef
01-24-2013, 09:56 AM
Reading your post actually made me take a hard look at myself as I was thinking of my response to you - I say to you take the job, write for yourself, take the risks. If they are what you want. Like Jessica said, you can adapt to the new situation and still take care of yourself. If you don't do those things out of fear of what might happen you walk closer to closing yourself off completely and giving over to the obsession of maintaining that image. You have to trust yourself to continue to take care of things, so you don't crash. And you can take care of things, you're awesome.

Shannon, yes, you understand. I've added boldface emphasis to the part of your post that speaks to my greatest fear, which is crossing the line into complete rigidity & obsession, probably clinically classifiable as an eating disorder. Yeah, let me call it what it really is: An eating disorder. That's the shapeshifting monster that I wrestle with. There is a really fine line between vigilance in maintenance and in dropping into those behaviors. Sometimes I'm on a balance beam, sometimes I lose my balance and fall off onto the unhealthy side. It doesn't help that, technically, it's not **physically** unhealthy, as I never eat more healthily or get more exercise than when I'm lost in the obsession.

I don't want my life to be all about defending and protecting my eating disorder and exercise obsession.

traveling michele
01-24-2013, 10:15 AM
Jen-- you do look absolutely amazing! As someone else said (I'm too lazy to look back to see who), you are your own worst critic. I say that as I'm grumbling about my tummy today hoping no one asks if I'm preggo! I'm sure it isn't that bad but that's the way it looks to me!

Shannon-- those are difficult life contemplations you are considering and I totally understand. I was debating joining the meetup bunco group because I know there will be lots of unhealthy food and I won't get to exercise most likely on those days, but I joined anyway (haven't gone yet but it's a step!)

Ishbel-- congrats to your VIP-- that is something to be proud of. And can't wait to hear more about your upcoming nuptials!

Fingers crossed for you Saef. Hope you hear something positive soon!!

alinnell
01-24-2013, 11:00 AM
The house guests are leaving today. And the housekeepers are coming, so my house will be MY house once again this afternoon!

In retrospect, it wasn't nearly as bad as I had said. I was just stressed with coming home from vacation with a sick husband (he caught a cold which I've gotten from him) and the stress of needing to get back to normal. It is Thursday and finally everything feels normal.

I need to remember that things like this are temporary and there will always be a way to make it all work out.

So I'm now focusing on the next 7 weeks--a week at a time. The rest of this week will play out nicely: Thursday night will be leftover pizza and salad (and no wine). Friday will be salad and something easy (and no wine). Saturday will be grocery shopping, golf and the Wine Women dinner at a fabulous restaurant (where there will be wine, but in small tasting amounts and food that is wonderful, but in small portions). Sunday starts with golf and hopefully a movie and then something I've FINALLY gotten to cook! I haven't cooked for over two weeks and I'm sorely missing it!

Next week, my Nutrisystem food ships so except for weekends there will be no cooking until after my birthday. I'm planning on quitting NS after this shipment. I think after all this time I can manage on my own.

CherryPie99
01-24-2013, 11:43 AM
First off, I want to thank all of you guys for your compliments. I'm sure I don't have to tell anyone here how INCREDIBLY uncomfortable it made me getting those compliments, though! I am not good at accepting compliments at all, especially when I don't see it myself.

Anyway, interesting discussions about work this week. I am in a bit of a weird situation - and no one hate me for this. I work for the state of NY. Which means I get paid really well, have extremely good benefits, and a great retirement plan - not to mention pretty sweet hours - 8-4 with an hour lunch! When I was younger, I never envisioned myself as remaining in New York once I graduated college, but then I met DH who was caring for his elderly parents and had no interest in leaving NY so I stayed here.

Now DH's mother is gone and his father is turning 95 this year and he is open to moving out of state! But I feel "trapped" because I will never be able to find such a good job with the pay and flexibility that I receive now!!

Shannon in ATL
01-24-2013, 11:49 AM
Saef, I wonder sometimes what I would be doing if I lived by myself. I have DH and DSS to pull me out of myself and not let me go too far into the obsession. If I didn't I suspect that I just might find myself spending all of my time defending and protecting my own obsession. I've not thought of it as an eating disorder before, but you are right. That is exactly what it is. It is likely a manifestation of my already obsessive and controlling personality, but it has been allowed to take over into eating disorder territory. I don't want my life to be that either. The question I can't find an answer for right now is how do we get away from it?

Allison - I'm so glad that your house guests are heading out! Welcome back to your house. :)

Michele - I've thought that about my tummy, too. I remember you said that you had joined a bunco group, I hope it goes well.

Megan - I also am a creature of habit. I made a comment yesterday to my friend about being somewhat resistant to change even as a younger person and he laughed out loud and told me he was proud of me for admitting it. LOL

Thinking about the getting dressed sometimes just to feel normal - I tend to wander around the house in pjs or workout clothes, but if I find myself putting on sweatpants or other slouchy clothes I also feel fat. Even if I weigh less than the day before I feel like I've gained weight. I wonder if that is because I'm programmed to sweatpants and 'comfy' clothes to be worn when I'm up in weight? Not acceptable to be worn just to be comfortable? I have some yoga pants and some long nike ad adidas exercise capris - I'll wear those around the house on days I'm working from home when I'm feeling good, aren't they really just as slouchy?

Shannon in ATL
01-24-2013, 11:51 AM
Missed your post Jen - speaking as someone in a state without a lot in the way of benefits, I don't know if I'd be able to leave the job situation you have either. My DH has a great benefits package - 31 days of PTO, 15 of it from day one for a new hire, great insurance at low cost to the employee, flexible work hours, lots of great things. BUT - his company is based in Israel and they don't really think like most American companies. That would be a tough decision to make... Does DH want to move out of state?

paperclippy
01-24-2013, 12:04 PM
Jen, if you want government job benefits, you could look for a government job in another state if you want to move. I know a few people who work for the government (and my parents both worked for the county government) and benefits and hours are pretty good across the board. Typically you have a bit of a trade-in for salary though -- you get better hours and benefits but a slightly lower salary working for the gov as opposed to private industry.

Shannon in ATL
01-24-2013, 03:28 PM
I've been thinking about Tomato (Alena) today, she's been gone for a long time. Does anyone ever hear from her? I miss her.

alinnell
01-24-2013, 07:02 PM
I've been thinking about Tomato (Alena) today, she's been gone for a long time. Does anyone ever hear from her? I miss her.

I don't remember her. I do often think of Lilybelle and wonder about her.

saef
01-24-2013, 09:11 PM
I think I remember "Tomato" and "Let's salsa!" or some combination thereof, and liking that person, at least as much as you can like someone solely based on their posts when you are a lurker and don't interact with them.

Shannon, I am thinking the only way to get away from rigidity and obsession is to make ourselves do things or agree to things that scare us a little or make us want to hunch inward on ourselves protectively. Sometimes we'll be able to, sometimes we won't. Sometimes it will turn out well, occasionally it won't. I just know that there have been obsessive and phobic women in my family & they led very small lives, such that I looked at them & thought: "I don't want to be that way." I understand them a lot better now than I did then. But still, I don't want that kind of life.

Steph7409
01-24-2013, 09:42 PM
saef, your use of the word "supplicant" is spot on. That's always how I feel in interviews. It's why I hate the whole compensation question, because I always feel like I'm asking for more than I'm worth. Here's wishing us both luck, and quick results! I so hate waiting for the news.

I'm interested in the ongoing discussion about self-restriction. I worry that those of you who have successfully maintained for an extended period of time have a degree of control and commitment that has helped you to be successful in maintenance and that I lack. If smart, capable women such as yourselves need to impose rigid limits in order to continue to be successful, I fear that I am doomed to failure. I enjoy my daily exercise but the time some of you put in makes me feel like a poseur. And my eating habits are almost as bad as they were when I was at my heaviest. But while I envy your self-control, I sympathize with your concerns about the cost. Maybe it's because I'm older, but I find myself more and more feeling like I'd rather trade a few pounds for more social interaction, or more time to pursue my other interests.

What are people's plan for the weekend? I'm going to visit my favorite canine friend, a sweet Newfie who will give me a hug and make me feel less sad. And I've started watching Fringe on DVD, so I feel a marathon coming on.

neurodoc
01-24-2013, 10:51 PM
Saef, for me, "feeling fat" always equates to my having let go. Let go of my diet routine, or my exercise, or my grooming, or even my work discipline. For me, feeling fat is the negative consequence of losing my self-control.

At the same time, I don't need as much regimentation as some in order to feel in control (and therefore, not fat). If I've exercised at least 3 times that week, if I've managed to stay at least approximately in maintenance range on calories, if the scale hasn't ticked upward more than a pound or so, I'm ok, even if I overate, had a mild binge (or two) or skipped exercising 2 days in a row.

bargoo
01-25-2013, 09:01 AM
Weii, I am feeling a "little fat" but I know why, ate too many soda crackers, soda crackers with lots of butter, that indiscretion caused an increase of 1.2 pounds.

traveling michele
01-25-2013, 10:11 AM
Steph-- are you maintaining? If so, it doesn't really matter how others are managing. It matters what you are doing. Please don't be so hard on yourself. We long term maintainers have been through ups and downs (on the scale and otherwise) and have learned through our trials and tribulations (hopefully-- more or less!).

I am sick today and not happy. I don't have time to be sick! It isn't an option. I was fine yesterday but there have been tons of sick kiddos at my school. I usually escape everything but on Wednesday morning I had close to 200 kindergartners all coughing and sneezing and one in particular looked very ill and sneezed all over me. I was so proud of myself for managing to go to both Zumba and Hot Yoga yesterday-- but I was thirsty and sneezed a few times-- didn't think much of it. But during the night I couldn't sleep-- my throat and head are killing me. I almost stayed home but then all of my classes can't come to the library. Some of the kids only come every other week as is. So, I'm going to try to push through. We'll see how it goes. I'm just bummed that my weekend plans may be derailed-- not that there were too many-- but dh is coming home tomorrow night.... I was planning on meeting my friend in the morning to weigh and have breakfast-- which meant I really needed to go to yoga again today......

I'll see how I feel later.... sometimes I can push through-- other times-- not so much.

alinnell
01-25-2013, 10:14 AM
My vacation weight is slowly coming off. It would be faster if I were a bit more diligent.

Weekend plans might be slightly derailed. We've had two days of rain and the weekend was supposed to be rain-free, but now they're saying differently. We had planned on golf Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning. We'll see if that pans out or not.

paperclippy
01-25-2013, 10:43 AM
Michele, take care of yourself. The bug that has been going around town here is pretty nasty. It's been two weeks since the last day I had a fever and I'm still coughing and congested, and that's par for the course with this bug.

Steph, what Michele said is spot-on. If what you're doing to maintain works for you, it doesn't matter what anyone else does. I've had some ups and downs, but have maintained for seven years (pre-pregnancy), and my routine doesn't look anything like some of the people around here. I don't need to count and measure in order to *maintain* my weight, only in order to *lose* weight, I generally eat a high-carb diet, and the only time I ever exercised for two hours in a day was when I was training for a triathlon. Everyone is different and what's important is finding what works for YOU.

So I just got to work after having the most hilarious doctor's appointment ever. The OB's have this little handheld doppler device that they use to listen to the babies' heartbeats without needing a full ultrasound. Apparently the device has been getting interference from local short-wave radios lately. She turns the thing on and there's a bunch of static, then puts it on my belly, and a man's voice comes out of the speaker saying, "Hello!" I was laughing so hard it took a while to manage to keep still enough for her to find the actual heartbeats. (Ever time she moved it and we heard a snippet of people talking, I started laughing again!)

Weekend plans for us: haircut and highlight for me, which will make me feel much better and less frumpy (or less "fat", as the case may be), either dinner or brunch for FIL's birthday, and Sunday dinner with our cooking club. We're making French onion soup and DH is going to spend tomorrow making broth out of beef bones. Sounds yummy!

CherryPie99
01-25-2013, 10:46 AM
Missed your post Jen - speaking as someone in a state without a lot in the way of benefits, I don't know if I'd be able to leave the job situation you have either. My DH has a great benefits package - 31 days of PTO, 15 of it from day one for a new hire, great insurance at low cost to the employee, flexible work hours, lots of great things. BUT - his company is based in Israel and they don't really think like most American companies. That would be a tough decision to make... Does DH want to move out of state?

Right now it's a non-issue, because we would never leave until Father in law passes - we live 1/4 mile from him and DH checks on him daily and helps him out with everything in his life. But I have always HATED the cold and snow, and DH is sick of the weather, too, so we'd like to move some place warmer.

I could get a government job in another state, but I'd be starting over - right now I have about 12 years in the NYS state retirement system. Oh well, only 19 years until I can retire... LOL

Michele - sorry that you are feeling sick! This year has been CRAZY for illness! I've managed to avoid getting really sick, knock on wood! Hope it clears up soon!

I've been pretty dang vigilant for the last couple of weeks with eating and exercising and saw 118 on the scale this morning. 117 is where I want to be, so I'm pretty happy. It's a little insane, though, isn't it - I was really frustrated being stuck at 121 and now I'm happy to see 118 - like those 3 pounds make all that much of a difference!!

traveling michele
01-25-2013, 11:11 AM
Jessica-- that is hilarious! I'm chuckling just picturing it!!

Jen-- if I was you I would totally move somewhere warmer! The cost of living in many places is much lower which would help to compensate if your income was lower. I lived in Connecticut and Massachusetts when I was younger and I would NEVER live anywhere cold again. I despise the cold. The warmer the better for me!! I grew up mostly in Houston and then we lived in South Africa and now Northern California. Dh and I are both thinking Arizona for retirement when the time comes! My poor girls had never seen snow since I hate cold weather so much. When we moved to California, we took one short trip to Tahoe so they could see the snow. That was enough for me. Older dd is in grad school in Washington State-- she thought she wanted to live somewhere cold-- after one winter she was cured of that. She wants to move to Texas this summer hopefully. Younger dd is in Arizona but wants to transfer to BYU (Provo, Utah) next year-- we'll see how she handles those winters if she gets in! I told her I won't be visiting in the winter!

alinnell
01-25-2013, 11:28 AM
Michele~Utah county (where Provo is) and SL county yesterday experienced freezing rain. They had to close down SL International Airport due to ice on the runways. DH's cousin reported on FB that her 1/2 hour commute had lasted 1.5 hours and she still hadn't made it to work. My niece showed a short video of kids "walking" to class at the U of U--it was a giant ice rink. Ick! I'm so glad I don't live there anymore!

Shannon in ATL
01-25-2013, 03:55 PM
Jessica - I'm greatly entertained by the image of the ultrasound wand talking to you. LOL

Steph - you maintain in whatever way works for you, you are doing great. :)

Michele - I hope you stay well. I've been sick now twice this year and it hasn't been fun.

I got an escrow overpayment returned from my mortgage company and my payment is being dropped by $48 a month. After last year staying the same and the year before actually increasing even though my house was worth a lot less I'm pretty excited. And my freezer from Home Depot is delivering tomorrow, so I'm moving in the right direction. Now if I can only make time to exercise tonight after the boys are abed.

BillBlueEyes
01-25-2013, 04:07 PM
"We dont need no stinking freezer" right now, LOL. It's freezing outside and we're worried that the water pipes in the basement might be vulnerable. The efficiency of out new heating system means that there's less wasted heat keeping the basement warmish.

alinnell
01-25-2013, 04:41 PM
I remember winters in Salt Lake. When my Mom made a big batch of soup, she'd store it on the stairs in our garage. It was often colder in there than the fridge and we usually had to break the ice off the top before we could ladle some for reheating! Can't do that here! However, it did go below freezing a few times in the past couple of weeks and we had water leaks in both our current warehouse and the new one we purchased.

Shannon in ATL
01-25-2013, 11:47 PM
I'm feeling pretty good from a money standpoint right now - i hesitate to say it out loud so as not to jinx it... I got that escrow overpayment back and my house payment is dropping per month, I sold a piece of fitness equipment on Amazon for a profit of $256, we did our taxes and our state refund will pay our federal owed with a surplus of $400, I have a good budget in and if I stick to it I'll be able to pay off at least $5000 in debt, maybe more, in 2013. I'm pretty excited by this. Maybe we'll actually be able to afford an anniversary trip or family vacation this year. We've spent a lot of money over the years and have lived the way we wanted - dh said we live like we are dying in two years. Well, hopefully we aren't so we have to do something. My parents are the same way, so I learned living outside my means from a young age... I need to fix it so I don't teach it to DSS.

bargoo
01-26-2013, 07:06 AM
Shannon, can I send my budget to you ? Just kidding, but it sounds like you are a genius at money management.

Megan1982
01-26-2013, 09:14 AM
Morning all,

I tried hot yoga with a friend in the city Thursday evening and I think I liked it! It won't replace my hatha yoga or other workouts, but I will do it again next time I go up there. At least until the summertime. I spent so much time sweating outside in the summer - I get paid for the heated experience, don't need to pay to experience it! I'm hosting sushi night for my girlfriends at my house tonight. These will be wine, sushi, and I'm right back OP tomorrow. Today, exercise and cleaning up. Tomorrow, same thing.

It is interesting living with a dieter. I'm usually in the opposite position! I'm trying to let BF do his own thing, not intrude unless he asks me something, and cook the same healthy meals I always do. And I've been keeping the endless salad bowl full in the fridge for both of our benefit. But I have to limit my comments when he says "You can't eat steak on a diet!" Or when he only takes half a portion of the 265 calorie/portion tamale pie to eat with salad for dinner and I worry he's not eating enough. I'm trying to consider what I would like said to myself in the same situation before I speak. He hasn't said whether or not he's lost weight, but his BP is already showing signs of improvement, so good for him.

Jessica, doesn't a nice haircut just make the world brighter? I'm laughing so hard at your sonogram "hello?" Are you sure that isn't just a practical joke the doctor's office plays? It would make a good one!

I grew up between PA and CT before I moved to the panhandle of FL at age 22, which is where I still am. I could see myself becoming a "half-back" and moving to somewhere in the middle, the Carolinas or somewhere in there. I wouldn't mind a slightly colder winter, but not too much colder. I also detest the hot, humid, and endless Florida summers and wouldn't mind getting out of them. My parents are thinking of retiring in the Asheville, NC area but may end up a little further out to lessen COL.

In PA winters and now in NY, my mom would take advantage of the cold during Christmas when the fridge would be extra full. The extra milk etc would go in a cooler on the porch and stay icy cold.

Shannon, I'm glad to hear you're on-track financially, and it's great that you're trying to set a good example.

Have a great weekend all!

CherryPie99
01-26-2013, 09:50 AM
I've lived in NY my whole life and hated it literally as long as I can remember. I am about 30 miles south of Canada, right off the lake, so we get tons of snow and cold. My dream is to move to West Virginia - we vacationed there years ago and I loved everything about it!

I am thrilled today because I stepped on the scale and I am back at my "ideal" weight of 117. That's puts me at before Christmas numbers, so I'm back on track.

Hearing you talk, Megan, I have to get into a Yoga class sometime. I do a lot of Yoga DVD's, but have never done a class and have never once had anyone look at my form to tell me what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong.

Ok, off to see if I can stand taking the dogs for a walk since it is 10 degrees out!

traveling michele
01-26-2013, 10:15 AM
Glad you liked hot yoga Megan! I stayed away from exercising yesterday as I do think I have a cold. I don't feel too badly though so I may go to yoga today. I will see how I feel as I sure don't want to make anyone else sick if I could be contagious.

Good for you Jen! I haven't weighed yet this morning as I'm up early and not going to meet my friend to weigh for 2 hours but I think I'm down. Still not where I want to be yet but getting there. I'm debating rewarding myself with a lululemon yoga top or outfit when I get to a certain weight but I'm not sure what that weight is. Ideally I want to be under 120 but I haven't been there iin many, many months, so maybe 122 is more realistic. I'll have to stay there at least a few days before rewarding myself.

alinnell
01-26-2013, 10:30 AM
This is the strangest cold I think I've ever had. It started with a really mild sore throat on Tuesday. I've had a little cough tickle since last week, but nothing productive. Yesterday afternoon someone turned on the faucet in my nose and I couldn't stop the running. Last night I woke up and was so stuffed up I could hardly breathe. And this morning I feel as if it's all resolved--just a little lingering nose stuffiness.

My vacation weight is slowly coming off. I can't ask for anything more.

Golf may be postponed. It rained ALL day yesterday and it's still quite cloudy with "rain tapering tonight" and a cold snap tomorrow. I don't think either forecast is good for someone recovering from a cold.

This morning I need to go release Mama kitty who we trapped Thursday and had spayed yesterday. She went into heat while I was on vacation, but the vet said it didn't appear she was pregnant.

Shannon in ATL
01-26-2013, 11:16 AM
Shannon, can I send my budget to you ? Just kidding, but it sounds like you are a genius at money management.

Here's the funny part, Bargoo. Or maybe sad. I'm really fantastic at money management. For years I taught budgeting classes to my employees when I worked for Burger King, and I still hear from them today telling me how impactful those classes were to them. I can set up reasonable and survivable budgets that don't make you feel choked and make progress, with net worth updates and easy steps to follow. I work in HR but have a pretty good head for numbers. I however have to fight with myself to actually follow my budget, and when I'm stressed I toss the budget and spend. Or eat out every day for two weeks. DH is just like me in that respect. For the last six months he and I have both been very focused on being budget conscious - traded in my car for one with a lower payment, made some positive steps. Having both of us on board has really helped.

bargoo
01-26-2013, 11:35 AM
Shannon, do I understand, I definitely do. I was a Loan Officer and later a Branch Manager at a Credit Union. I have seen many financial statements, I could tell someone how to repair their credit or balance their checkbook but I am not so good at taking my own advice. To me money is power, not that I am going to be buying Trump Tower but I have to watch for those impulse buys. Something comes over me when I go into a store, any store, it's like the walls are calling out, it is all here for you to buy and you have money. Most of the time I restrain myself pretty well but just let me see a half off sale or buy one get one free any come on is apt to suck me in. I am better than I used to be but still have to get stern with myself sometime.

Ishbel
01-26-2013, 09:31 PM
Jessica Love the visual of "hello" during the ultra sound. Made me laugh while I read it.

Jen Yay on being happy with the number on the scale...tough decision on the job. Completely understand wanting to get away from cooler weather...as a Canadian I don't have much of a choice LOL (I want to stay in Canada lol)

I quite enjoy the posts on whether you can maintain what your doing now it caused me to reflect on my own behaviours and I ended it up in quite the thought process and the thoughts cycled a few times lol. On one hand I felt comforted by your posts that perhaps I'm not as nutzo as I think (not that I think you're nutzo...that I'm not the only one with the fear(s)) On the other hand I admited that sometimes I do feel obsessed and that my reality is that I hope it will just be second nature...this new lifestyle of ours (mine and my fiance)...and maybe JUST maybe I won't feel obsessed...but if in 5 years I still feel obsessed, I'm ok with that...as long as I feel the way I feel right now.

It also caused me to do more reading in the sticky's of 'living maintenance' which caused MORE reflection on the whole 20% less calories and 20% more exercise. Although it doesn’t make me happy (even though I knew this before I hit maintenance) I think at this point in my life it’s a ‘meh’ feeling – so I’m feeling accepting of the cards that have been given to me. There is nothing I can do it about it…so why focus on it.

I'm in awe of most of you, I'm glad you've welcomed me into your online group (THANK YOU). I don't think I'll be able to say "I've maintained for X 'years'" without the support of this forum.

Mudpie
01-27-2013, 06:09 AM
I met Bulut - the street dog from Istanbul - yesterday. Her story so far is a very brutal harsh one but she's here and she's looking forward. As most dogs do.

I tried to take her for a little walk. She is totally dog-averse - tries to run away whenever she sees another dog and gets quite anxious when she hears barking in the distance. And she's smart - already knows where "home" is. And that I carry treats in my waist pouch.

She is not going to meet bratty bully Lucy tomorrow. I'll try Bulut with the 2 softie goldens and see what happens.

DH has now decided (again) that he has to "shape up" in order to interview for a clerical job. Right now he no longer fits into his interview suit or any of the "office clothes" he bought about a year ago. And he's so broke he can't afford to get new ones. And now the only store he can go to is the "fat guys" shop across the City.

The tax preparer whose tax course he took turned him down for a job. His current very part time job will now go down to 1 day a week - not enough to pay his portion of the bills and keep his car running.

I made us a healthy dinner last night. Dessert was frozen blueberries with low fat vanilla yogurt - our answer to ice cream.

I went to bed around 9:30 and DH drank a couple of beers and continued eating.

I have thrown in the towel on his weight loss. He did promise to start making salads (a job I hate) to go with dinner. I will accept that as a gain and keep my lips zipped.

I have enough to do without being his mommy. My own weight is up - haven't been on the scale this week because I don't need any more discouraging news.

I'm hoping February brings better news.

Dagmar :tired: :(

Sheila53
01-27-2013, 12:14 PM
Dagmar, here's some good news I read in today's paper. People with dogs live longer. It's because, of course, they're walking the dog so they take more steps than people who don't have dogs. Since you walk dogs for a living, you'll be in much better shape than someone who walks just one dog. Now to get my DH on board with this wonderful piece of news. Unfortunately, our last dog, who had to be walked at 11:00 pm at night in the rain to specific spots in the 'hood before he'd potty, turned my DH completely off dogs.

Shannon, glad you went skating and enjoyed it. Your money story reminds me of the saying about the shoemaker's kids going barefoot.

Jessica, loved the ultrasound story!

Another one here with a cold or something. I spent most of yesterday in bed asleep or just lying there miserably, then managed to turn out the light at 11:00 pm and sleep until almost 8:00 am. Woke up once during the night, but went back to sleep. Now that's pretty weird after doing almost nothing yesterday. Missed a night out with friends and plan to miss church this morning mainly because I don't want to get anyone else ill. I want to feel better by tomorrow afternoon because I enjoy my coffee group that meets at 1:00 pm. Hope everyone else who is ill starts feeling better soon.

Steph7409
01-27-2013, 03:17 PM
Sheesh, lots of people with colds here. I hope you're all feeling better. My sister has had the flu for 4 weeks and her doctor finally gave her tons of meds to try to knock it out. I'm thankful to be cold and flu free so far this winter.

bargoo, I too have trouble resisting a good sale. I was very excited to score some suede knee-high boots at Target yesterday for $12! But I have to watch myself, as I often buy things I don't need all that much just because it's a good deal or I have a coupon or whatever.

Shannon, I applaud your commitment to sticking to your budget. My expenses are pretty low yet I spend too much on discretionary stuff. I did switch to Geico for car insurance yesterday and saved myself almost $600, so that was sweet. It will pay for about half of the vet bill for my poor kitty Grommet.

Dagmar, good luck with Bulut and the Goldens. I hope they help her overcome her fears.

I visited with my Newfie friend today and got a very warm welcome. I've know her for years and introduced her to ice cream, so she looooves me. It made me feel good.

CherryPie99
01-27-2013, 06:18 PM
Dagmar - Better dog averse than dog aggressive!! A little love from some friendly goldens should go a long way!

I hope things work out for your DH. I am grateful every single day that DH and I took this journey together - not sure that my commitment would have lasted on my own.

Visited my 94 year old FIL today. I feel so bad for him that his mind has totally sharp but his body fails him more and more every day. However, we did get worried as we went to leave and I noticed he had left the stove on!! Worrisome indeed.