100 lb. Club - I totally don't have a relationship with my body...




lunarsongbird
01-17-2013, 11:08 AM
It's my second winter here in Colorado- and it's SO very dry. Yesterday, for the first time in my life I had to put on body lotion.
http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/lunarsongbird/getty_photo_of_steamy_mirror_zps51bd2e13.jpg
(Not me- just what I think avoiding the mirror looks like)

"Whose leg is this?! And where in the heck did this tummy come from? How long has that roll been on my back?"

I don't know my body. Is this why it was easy for the weight to creep on? (It didn't actually creep....I gained over 70 pounds in one year after an ovarian cyst was removed), but this lack of relationship- was that how I have been able to carry around this extra 70 pounds for 4 years?

My denial is called clothing. But my denial...I can't wear it in the bedroom. So denial turns into avoidance. So denial and avoidance no more. This January I took before pictures...nude. And I think I will continue to put on body lotion this winter- and when the weather warms up, I think I will put on some nice sun screen, because I will need it when I'm in my bathing suit.

Do you have a relationship with your body? Do you think if you did- it would be easier for you to lose weight? Do you think if you did- you would begin the journey to loving yourself and never turning back on your wellness journey?


Angihas2
01-17-2013, 11:48 AM
Do you have a relationship with your body? Do you think if you did- it would be easier for you to lose weight? Do you think if you did- you would begin the journey to loving yourself and never turning back on your wellness journey?

I thought something similiar the other night in the shower. I was shaving and had my foot propped on the rim of the tub, and kept thinking, "I have 4 thighs to shave". My real ones, then the fat that droops below them. My NSV's are almost always body related, feeling the curve of my hip bone, bras fitting better, looking down as I sit and realising that white patch on my upper thigh is NEW skin showing through from my belly sitting on it in shorts. When I stay in contact with my body, when I pamper my skin, when I dress to show off what I do like about my body, I have a much better handle on my weight, my feelings about my weight and how I look. When I begin living in yoga pants and tshirts, when I quit spending the time to oil and lotion my skin after a shower and when I quit shaving every other day, thats when it all seems to creep back on. A year ago, I was in Onderland, going to uni full time, working at a bar 3/4 time and raising two kiddos and pregnant. A lot was going on. Now, I've graduated and while looking for work and interviewing, I'm being picky about where I work, I'm a SAHM, with a 9 month old, 2 older kids, no uni and no work. It's easier to disconnect from the reality that is my body and not pay attention to the small things. Like those extra thighs. However, this morning, I noticed my arm pits are beginning to become hollow again, as opposed to poofing out.

lunarsongbird
01-17-2013, 12:14 PM
My NSV's are almost always body related, feeling the curve of my hip bone, bras fitting better=

Yes, Yes!! Darn it! I want sexy CUTE bras. I want to have at least one knock out sexy bra before I get pregnant and those boobs take on a mind of their own again.

I know that there are sexy bras in my size...but I want CUTE/sexy bras...and those only come in smaller sizes, IMO.