[momz of three]

Hi everyone so ive started this weight loss journey on Jan 2(and my husband)...im down 8lbs so far and have 45lbs to go until my goal I have a friend who was over 350lbs and opted to have the gastic bypass a year ago...she lied and told them she had tried everything to lose weight so that they would approve her...she has lost alot of weight...dont get me wrong she looks great, but wow she is so full of herself and conceited now!!! its driving me insane...shes engaged to be married(was before the surgery) she clubs 3 nights a week, tells me all about these men that are all over her now, and how she met this guy and that guy...I havent heard her mention her wedding in months...I think that now shes lost weight she thinks she can do better..as she says "a different calibur of men" hit on her now...people always praise her on her "hard work" im probably going to get hated on for this..but I think doing it the good old fashion way ie: diet and exercise is hard work..not getting a surgery done that forces you to not be able to eat(or eat smaller quantities) shes faked passing out multiple times and lied to doctors that she cant eat or keep anything down so they went back in and did a different version of the surgery..which she new would cause her to lose more weight...some may say im jealous..maybe I am?? although I am smaller and weigh less than her....she is a fantastic and convincing lier!!! She even faked cancer, pregnanices etc...Im all for losing weight and feeling great about yourself..but it shouldnt make your head swell, make fun of those who are over weight, forget where you came from and think your better than every one else...thanks for taking the time to read this..I just had to vert and had no one to talk too

[mandalinn82]

Surgery IS hard work. People who want to "cheat" their surgery definitely can, so the same willpower is involved.

That said, any major life change can affect anyone's personality. It isn't any more normal to be "conceited" after a weight loss than to be kinder after a weight loss. Or sometimes people have their true personalities revealed after becoming more comfortable with themselves after weight loss.

I will say, it sounds like she may have some issues (compulsive lying among them), so I wouldn't worry much about what she thinks either way.

[Vex]

I'm not going to argue for or against surgery.

It does sound like though your friend has some sort of issue - especially with lying. Have you thought about distancing yourself from her? Do you get anything positive out of the relationship with her?

[momz of three]

Thanks for the responses, very much appreciated I have been distancing myself..I think its for the best

[BreathingSpace]

Originally Posted by momz of three

She even faked cancer, pregnanices etc..

The conceit after weight loss sounds like the least of her problems if she's lying about CANCER (wtf?!) and pregnancies.

You might want to ask yourself if you really want this type of a person in your life, especially as it seems you are trying to move in a more positive direction with your own health.

[XLMuffnTop]

I would run, not walk, from a person like this. She's obviously having a negative impact on you and everyone else around her.

[Radiojane]

I can understand conceit to some point. Heck, I can't put down the mirror and stop checking myself out (and I'm nowhere near done), but I can understand where it would be hard to watch.

I've also been jealous, and I can see where maybe this might be a part of what you're feeling. You have a lot of work ahead of you and a lot of weight to lose. Your friend is near the finish line. That would inspire a little bitterness.

Mandalinn is right, surgery is very hard work and not an easy out for most people, so give your friend credit where it's due. But with all the other issues you mentioned, I think that maybe this person has some problems that you need to step back from.

Focus on your progress and your success.

[LockItUp]

Surgery doesn't equal an easy way out for sure. So many people have surgery and don't really lose much, or lose and gain back -- just like "normal" weight loss. Not to mention you still have to do the work.

Anyway, sounds like she has a history that you are aware of, is it much of a surprise she's acting like this?

In general (let's say there wasn't a history of lying etc), it's very normal to be in a sort of social SHOCK after a large amount of weight loss. People do treat you differently, and it can really take some getting used to. I definitely consider myself to be conceited at this point, definitely vain, I feel I kind of deserve to be, I've worked my butt off and I look good! I certainly wouldn't make fun of someone else overweight, but a large amount of weight loss can mess with your head BIG TIME!! But it seems like there's a set of issues aside from just that with your friend. And you know, maybe there is a twinge of jealousy there as well, only you know that for sure.

It doesn't sound like she, at this point, is capable of being a decent friend and she is obviously causing you some stress. Distance yourself from her, would be my advice.

[huntress]

I don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. I've had 2 friends have surgery to lose their weight and they began acting very similar to the way you describe your friend. Put some space between yourself and this person, it sounds as if she's cheating on her fiance and you don't want to be caught up in that nor do you want her attitude to hinder you in your weight loss efforts either.

[momz of three]

"You have a lot of work ahead of you and a lot of weight to lose. Your friend is near the finish line. That would inspire a little bitterness"

Yes there may be bitterness I think because the weight seemed to fall off of her..but as I stated I am smaller than her and I weigh less...she still has a ways to go until the finsh line as do I...
I have moved away which has made the distancing easier..I do not need bad energy in my life...but then again who does? It does sadden me though, even with all the horrible lies she was always there for me when I needed her

[EagleRiverDee]

When the Fen-Phen (Phen-fen?) craze was out, my boss went on it and rapidly lost a lot of weight. She went through the conceited phase, even though she was still considerably overweight. Started wearing tank tops and just acting really haughty and she developed a real attitude.

I think sometimes when we change physically very rapidly- especially in a way we want to change- it can make us temporarily act crazy. She certainly did.

[misspixie]

This isn't a gastric bypass surgery issue at all. This is an issue where a person who you think has some sort of personality disorder that involves lying isnt meeting what you need in a friend and also perhaps some of your issues are being brought into it. Really, does the way or how much weight shes lost really affect your weight loss journey? Cause it shouldnt. You do the work the way you want to do it and what someone else does is their thing. I think your a little jealous of her results which is normal but thats really your issue. The other thing coming up is that you dont approve of her lifestyle and the fact that shes not gonna take her marriage seriously. Again, not your issue cause its her life, she wants to club and so on thats her.
The only thing here and I mean ONLY thing here is do you want to be friends with someone who has in your view is a conceited chronic liar and is not the kind of person you wanna connect with? If the answer is NO you dont like what your seeing in her then let her go. If the answer is YES you want to be friends then you gotta let go of your issues with her behaviour as you cant change her behaviour you can only change how you deal with it. She might be acting a little crazy now but it sounds like shes acted crazy for a while, so why are you still giving this friendship a shot if you dont like what you see?

[joefla70]

My guess is that your *friend* was a beeeotch all along. However, when she was fat, she did not have enough self-confidence to letter her inner-beeeotch out. Its understandable for people to experience changes in the way people treat them (i.e. extra attention from the opposite sex). However, that doesn't explain or excuse their change in attitude and behavior. The fact that this woman would do the things you talk about (i.e. go out to clubs to seek out a "higher caliber of men" while she is engaged) is despicable. This woman is trash, pure and simple. Always was. Always will be. Her weight loss merely revealed her true-self.

[IAmTheGlue]

Faking CANCER??? & pregnancies Sound like your friend has more than few screws loose.

Anyway, I think I would put some distance between her & myself if I were you. It definitely sounds like since she lost some weight she is trying to find a new man. It happens. People decide they can trade in for a better model or whatever. I wouldn't want to hang around her though.

[zoritsa]

Sounds like she has other issues besides being conceited.It sounds like she's an attention seeker.I know someone like that,and it's quite sad.If she doesn't get all the attention in the room,she will make something up or start some drama.Basically anything to get everyone to pay attention to her.

I would distance myself from her as much as possible if I could,but unfortunately,I'm related to the one I know.Sounds like you can do that though,and I would encourage it if it will make your life easier.