100 lb. Club - I'm Back

View Full Version : I'm Back

05-05-2003, 12:40 AM
Ok...so I've never left. I always post. But my own weight lose journey has been on a downhill spiral. In January and February I lost 22 lbs. In March and April I gained them back. May hasn't been much better.

So tomorrow morning when I get up, I am going to gain control over my life and start doing what I know works. 1800 calories - 64 oz. water and some exercise.

I have been threatening to get back to business for some time now. But this needs to happen. I had a couple of moments over the weekend where I thought "this is not cool".

I usually put my makeup on in my bedroom. I sit on the floor in front of a mirror that's on the wall. So I think I lean forward to get close to the mirror and that may make my chins go away. Anyway, on Saturday, I was doing my makeup in the living room because of the nice breeze and was using a makeup mirror. As I looked in the mirror I saw the huge swollen face and these swollen eyes and I thought OMG!!! something is wrong, I am all swollen. But, when I went to look at myself in the bathroom, nothing was different. It was me. All 290some pounds of me. I have 3 chins, my eyelids are fatty and are dragging down my eyes and basically, I look like bad, really bad!!!!! I used to be pretty, but I am throwing it away.

The other thing is that the party that I was getting ready for was a bachelorette party in Chicago. 1st stop Topas restaurant, then a bar next store. Then down to Rush and Division where we would bar hop all night. I was absolutely dreading going bar hoping. I knew it would be crowded (REALLY CROWDED) and I had vision of following all these skinny girls through the crowds and saying excuse me...excuse me...excuse me. Because the fat girl couldn't fit. this was the 1st time that my weight really held me back.

So why the novel? Because I need you guys to know where I stand. Maybe if I fess up and tell you that I have fallen flat on my face and gained everything back , but am now ready to get back to business with no regrets (ya right!!). Then maybe, just maybe I can get back on the road to success with all of you guys. I have been gaining and watching all of you guys do so great and really stick with it. I am so proud of all of you, and so ashamed of all of me. I am just grateful that you have not kicked me to the curb.

So...here's to tomorrow!!! :D

05-05-2003, 12:54 AM
Good for you, Sandi!! :grouphug: Welcome back! I know how it is to fall off the wagon, and or get discouraged. I think we've all been there.

Was it really that bad @ the bars on Rush & Division? My friends want to take me there for my birthday, just curious.

05-05-2003, 12:56 AM
See, I don't know. I didn't go!! I left after the restaurant and the bar next store which was practically empty. Don't be a wimp like me. Go and have a blast. She did lose her shoes, dance on bars and pole dance. So it sounds like they had a blast!!

05-05-2003, 08:40 AM

Hugs!!! So glad to see you're trying again. You know what works. You can do it. We're all here for you!


05-05-2003, 09:51 AM

I know exactly how you feel, for too long I've let my weight keep me away from the things I really want to do. You're back on track now though and there's no stopping you! By the time the next bachelorette party comes along, you'll be the one dancing on the bar!!

05-05-2003, 10:33 AM

You will be back Sandi, the journey is long and there will be good times and bad. You are not giving up, and that is what is important!

05-05-2003, 11:18 AM
Sandi, it sure sounds like you are ready to start again. You can do this. Just don't give up!

05-05-2003, 12:16 PM
My goodness, Sandi, we would never kick you to the curb! :lol: We've all been where you are at one time or another.

It sounds like this time something really might have clicked for you. Hang on to that feeling you had at the bachelorette party - it will help you to remember why you're in this fight.

05-05-2003, 12:58 PM
Hi Sandi!

You CAN do this ~ you are so faithful to post and encourage others which means that encouragement lives in you and you can claim it for yourself!

I have been right where you are, and we all have, a hundred times. Just pick up and keep walking. There's a song by U2 that I love that says "Walk on." ("I know it aches and your heart it breaks, you can only take so much. . .walk on.")

On a personal level, my weight loss journey has become a matter of faith. In today's "PC" society I always hesitate to say things like this, but for me, praying gives me the strength to hang in there. . .and this time I have. God gives me strength, and He will give it to you too.

You can be right back in that good place where things just click.
We're all rooting for you!!! Pretty soon you'll be back on :cloud9:

05-05-2003, 01:00 PM
(((Sandi))) We Sandis can do this together!! I'm going to try VERY HARD to be here regularly! I've got a wedding to go later this month, and I'm going to run in to lots of my college sorority sisters who I haven't seen in YEARS!!! It seems like "the fat girl" doesn't quite fit in most of the time, but just remember there is a slim girl waiting inside!!

05-05-2003, 01:34 PM
Thanks Guys!! I knew I could count on you for support.

Last night before bed, I threw out every shred of chocolate that wouldn't fit into my plan. (left the 90 calorie puddings).

So far today, I have been 100% OP, even passed on the doughnuts. But now is not usually my problem. 3:00 pm and on are what challenges me. But I will do this, because after all...it's up to me!!!

05-05-2003, 02:34 PM
YOU CAN DO IT SANDI! I think you really have to worry when you stop checking in...that you're still here means that you're still going in the right direction, even with the occasional detour!

Goddess Jessica
05-05-2003, 06:45 PM

I'm sooooo excited because for once we're both on the same schedule, the downward spiral to fatland! Woo hoo! Maybe that means in the cosmic karmic dogma world, you're going to help pull me out of this.

But remember, there will be setback days, we just can't throw in the towel afterwards.

Mothergoose - your new pic looks AWESOME! What a babe!

05-05-2003, 07:16 PM

Thanks!!! It's the first time in years I've let anyone take my picture!!

05-05-2003, 07:22 PM
Sandi, I know how you feel. I lost and gained the same 5 pounds over and over since the beginning of this year. I am exercising now though and trying to eat 20 percent or less calories from fat but since I have not lost any weight since beginning this about 2 weeks ago, I am thinking I may need to count calories also. Congrats on your re-dedicating yourself to your goals! I look forward to sharing our journeys on this site.