Weight Loss Support - Is anyone else just getting really fed up?




kimberleyanddarren
01-13-2013, 08:28 AM
I don't know what is going on with me at the moment. I am really sick and tired of sticking to a sensible 'diet' for months, losing several stone, then suddenly one day fancying something like a Chinese and suddenly it all just piles back on?
I don't know what it is, but if I have something like a treat now and then it all begins to unravel. For example, I went to a friends do and ate far too much, then I just couldn't get back on plan and now I am heavier than I was when I began. I always manage to loose about 3-5 stone then just pile it all back on again.

I feel down about it at the minute and I guess just looking for some encouragement or advice, I have a lot to loose (about ten stone) and it seems such a long road. After so many ups and downs I am not sure I will ever actually be able to manage the entire journey.

Help??!


Misti in Seattle
01-13-2013, 08:42 AM
Hang in there and please don't give up! It is so easy to get to a certain point in our weight loss and then get discouraged and give up. Been there, done that... so I will just tell you what is working for me.

You say you follow a "sensible diet" but don't specify what that is. I am not "knocking" diets as apparently they work for some people, and I am mindful of just where I am posting this. Personally I do not believe in "diets" -- we need to find a way of eating we can live with and learn to love. Note I said "learn" because it does take a while for all the junk to be out of our system and to enjoy our new style of eating... but it can be done.

Just because we crave something does not mean we have to give in to it. We CAN learn to say "NO!!!" to our cravings. It is not about "motivation" -- which is fickle and leaves us very quickly. It has to be a *decision* that we are just flat out not going to eat that stuff... and if we do "mess up" not to be too hard on ourselves but just get right back to doing what is right again.

You don't say how old you are... but at my age I finally came to a place where my health is very much starting to be affected... that WILL happen for you if it hasn't already. I realized that if I don't do something about this, I am going to end up disabled just because I am so fat. It is causing other health problems as well. Since I've been losing (and I have a super supportive doctor) I have watched all my medical labs drop down into the acceptable range, and my blood pressure drop dramatically. It's worth it!

This forum is also very helpful. I notice you have been a member a long time but have not posted much. Let me encourage you to become involved here.. it is SO helpful to be involved with others who understand and are in the same boat. There are a lot of "fun" threads here... it helps to make this fun!!

If you are not sure where to start, feel free to join us in our daily check in thread

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-support/272202-daily-accountability-lifestyle-change-january-2013-everyone-welcome-9.html

Ready2Lose2013
01-13-2013, 08:55 AM
Hi Kimberly -

You did the right thing by reaching out here! Support and accountability is so important to keeping the fire burning, and this place is a great space for both.

I know how you feel - after gaining 60 Ibs over a few years after having my thryoid removed (and a crappy diet) I joined WW and lost 30 Ibs. But then I got stuck at 180 and I was so tired of making my diet a priority and I didn't hate how I looked anymore, so the treats got more frequent and the focus got lost. In 2010 I looked at myself in the mirror one day and realized I wasn't back where I had started - I was 10 Ibs heavier!

It has taken 2.5 years from that horrible revelation to get to a place mentally where I feel strong enough and ready enough to so this. I had a lot of false starts over that time, that was a few days or maybe a few weeks of good behavior followed by a hard and sustained fall off the wagon. Each time that happened, i would get so upset and think that I was doomed to be 220 forever. That there was nothing to be done.

But I'm still here, fighting the good fight. And so are you. We are here together, and we need to forgive ourselves for our previous stumbles and acknowledge the strength we have in ourselves, hidden in there somewhere, to try again and get where we want to be.

And from where I sit, the fact that we are here reaching out for support is a reflection of that strength. Keep you chin up!!!!


bargoo
01-13-2013, 08:56 AM
Kimberly. I sometimes get tired of dieting, too. I wish I didn't have to do it, but those feelings are minor compared to the feelings I will have if I regain and have to start over. Yep. we can get sick and tired of sticking to a sensible diet but sticking to a diet is preferable to what will happen if we don't.

Misti in Seattle
01-13-2013, 09:07 AM
Kimberly. I sometimes get tired of dieting, too. I wish I didn't have to do it, but those feelings are minor compared to the feelings I will have if I regain and have to start over. Yep. we can get sick and tired of sticking to a sensible diet but sticking to a diet is preferable to what will happen if we don't.

Well said!!! There are times when what keeps me going... especially when it come to exercise or when I am tempted to eat junk or too much... is reminding myself of the consequences if I don't!!

Also... my doctor told me... regarding food... to always ask myself "Do I need this?" Often times that thought has kept me from overindulging.

Another thing... in the grocery store I will pretend that when I walk around the corner, I am going to meet my doctor standing there! Would I be GLAD to see her and have her see my cart... or would I cringe? :) (I have a VERY kind, supportive doctor!)

JoJoJo2
01-13-2013, 09:25 AM
If you could view this whole weight-loss business as a "challenge" rather than pure drudgery, it might be helpful.

No, losing weight isn't easy, in fact it is quite difficult. But doing it has so many positive results that it is well worth the effort.

Good luck. :wave:

Sheridan
01-13-2013, 11:04 AM
Hi,

Better than a challenge would be if we were famous and could get some company to pay us $60,000 for each pound lost. Now that would be motivation. lol

Good luck everybody.
Sheridan

kimberleyanddarren
01-13-2013, 11:08 AM
Thanks for all your advice all, I need a good kick up the bum I think!

I have been trying to learn to change my eating ways rather than go on a diet. I have done everything there is. Lipotrim was great because I lost loads of weight each week, but it just isn't maintainable.
So I am now quite happy to loose 3 lbs a week on a sensible eating plan, however at times I do feel very disheartened that it is going to take so long. In all other areas of my life if something needed doing I would do it immediately and I suppose being that kind of person makes it even harder to keep going for such a long period of time.

This time I am trying to look at my future goals, such as starting a family, which I know I wont be able to do unless I sort out my weight problem as I also have PCOS and so I am already suffering health wise due to my weight. I know the longer I leave it the more health problems I will have. I need to be able to see ahead into the long term, but I just find that so hard.

I also think I will make more of an effort to get on here every day or every few days at least, so I can renew my motivation!

JohnP
01-13-2013, 11:10 AM
I would echo what Misti said. "Eating sensible" has no meaning in the context of fat loss. Calories matter.

You may want to talk to your doctor and see ifi thinks it would be appropriate for you to do a PSMF type of diet. If he clears you I would look into "Rapid Fat Loss" which is a PSMF but has built in breaks to help deal with diet fatigue and ward off binging which you clearly have an issue with.

Lyn2007
01-13-2013, 11:13 AM
I absolutely go through bouts of diet fatigue. I try and remember that the more days on plan I do now, the sooner I will be at my goal weight. That is a wonderful reward to look forward to, so I don't want to prolong getting there by eating junk. Try to stay focused... I know people say you have to "do this for the rest of your life," but maintenance is, I think, different from the weight loss stage enough that the diet fatigue will fade.

Bellamack
01-13-2013, 11:18 AM
I feel for you because it is an uphill battle, esp with Thyroid issues, which I also have and I am post meno and I just got out of a cast for a torn tendon,which has been no exercise since the end of august, then when I weighed a couple of weeks ago, I was in shock.

I won't give up. ever.... 3FC is a wonderful place to come for encouragement.

Also, 3 lbs per week is very aggressive when you have Thyroid and PCOS, you should be happy with 1- 2 lbs per week. I don't know how much a stone is????

TwirlingStar
01-13-2013, 12:17 PM
Just stick with it! Weight loss is frustrating I know. If you get cravings like that or what to splurge a little just remember to eat in small portions.:carrot:

kaplods
01-13-2013, 12:55 PM
I really think we're culturally programmed to fail at weight loss. Getting "fed up" going off plan, and regaining as a result, is one of the socially-ingrained traditions/rituals of weight loss. We do it, because on many levels we're taught to do it.

I suspect that the main reason "this time" has been different than all of the thousands of other failed attempts because I decided that I had to not only do something different, but I also had to think differently.

When I thought of weightloss-related eating as a punishment, of course I periodically felt frustrated and fed-up. But when I looked at it as a way to indulge in the best food nature had to offer, and a way to pamper myself healthier and thinner, there was nothing to "quit."

I started shopping for low-calorie, high-nuntrition food the way I used to shop for high-calorie indulgences. Now when I want to pamper myself, I don't immediately think of a high-calorie comfort food.

I still struggle with eating perfectly, but I also now realize that eating perfectly doesn't matter at all. Progress will get you where you need to go. You don't need perfection.

If you're fed up with deprivation, then stop depriving yourself. Personally, I find that high-carb indulgences do trigger an almost addiction-like response, and I do find it hard to get back on plan when I eat them. I still do sometimes eat them, but I do get right back on plan, even though I do make lots of mistakes because I've learned to "unlearn" the tradition of deciding that the appropriate response to off-plan eating is to take a break from weight loss.

We're taught to "white knuckle" it through weight loss. We're not taught to make weight loss easier (in fact, we often see anything that makes weight loss NOT a living ****, as a cop-out, as a sign of weakness and laziness).

Maybe it is, but I've had a lot more success with pleasant, rewarding methods of weight loss (although at a slower pace) than I ever did with punishment.

It's human nature to resist and avoid pain and discomfort (and yet we're taught to make weight loss as uncomfortable as possible). It's likwise natural to embrace reward and work harder to get more of it.

The number on the scale isn't enough reward for me, so I had to encorporate a whole lot more reward into my weight loss. Now that I have, I truly am never tempted to quit. I do get derailed occasionally, but I'm not discouraged by that either, because I've stopped viewing mistakes as portends of failure and doom, which makes it a lot easier to get right back on track quickly (rather than wallowing in what seems like inevitable failure).

Mozzy
01-13-2013, 01:11 PM
Hugs.
Tomorrow is a new day to make better choices

gailr42
01-13-2013, 01:59 PM
I am really sick and tired of sticking to a sensible 'diet' for months, losing several stone, then suddenly one day fancying something like a Chinese and suddenly it all just piles back on?

I don't know what it is, but if I have something like a treat now and then it all begins to unravel.

In my opinion, when you find the answer to this question, you start earning $60,000 per pound lost. You write a bestselling book, everyone gets thin forever, you are famous and rich and all of us on here can brag that we knew you "when". Ahh, what dreams we have.

Eating is a natural part of life. It is tiresome and burdensome to have to think about not doing something so natural every single moment of the day. At times, it pretty much takes the fun out of life.

Many years ago, I quit drinking and I quit smoking. I was a heavy smoker and a heavy drinker by anyone's standards. Quitting smoking was the harder of the two substances to eliminate. I almost never think about alcohol or cigarettes anymore.

Many years ago, I went on my first weight loss adventure. I was quite successful at loosing weight, but here I sit today on about my 5th weight loss adventure. I think about food, eating and recipes all the time.

I am not optimistic about my chances for maintaining my weight loss. Statistically, maintenance is unlikely. I quit smoking, for some number of years, four times before I "got it". Perhaps the same will be true of weight loss. Maybe this will be the time I "get it".

I have one small victory to report.

Over the holiday season, I ate several Hershey's Symphony bars. I made a few batches of oatmeal cookies and chocolate chip cookies. I ate batter, I ate the finished product and licked the crumbs off the plate. I ate lasagne and garlic bread. My DH made Rocky Road candy and I ate that. I bought little individual cups of ice cream for when the grandchildren came. I ate those because we didn't get to the ice cream when the kids were here. I ate a couple of bags of some kind of "good for you" chips. You get the picture.

By the end of this orgy of eating, I had gained a few pounds and had a serious sense of impending doom about my healthy lifestyle and weight loss. I had those feelings that many of us get when we recognize that we are about to go over the cliff.

So what was my victory? Somehow, between spending way too much time on 3FC, reading my Martha Stewart Everyday Food: Light cookbook, buying and practicing the newest Volumetrics book by Barbara Rolls, lots and lots of "self talk" and not buying any chips or candy, I have managed to get back on track. I have been on track for about ten days now and have lost the pounds I gained over the holidays. I also switched calorie counting websites, not so much because I like one better than another, but because it feels like a new start to enter my current weight like it was a starting weight.

That feeling of impending doom is awful, and I am so relieved that I might be back in control, just for today.

Kimberley, I think most of us have been where you are. I certainly wish you the best, but as you said, it has to come from within. I didn't mean to make my post all about me, but I hope if nothing else, you realize we are all in this together. Good luck.:hug:

Radiojane
01-13-2013, 02:09 PM
I don't have anything to add to what other posters have said, except to say that I struggle with this every. Single. Day. Even with progress, it's a battle every time I approach the fridge, go out, or even just think. I'm currently struggling with the idea that there will be no "end" to this. I won't get to "stop" watching my weight. It would be so easy to give it all up. I've come very close several times.

I've seen the other side though. I had a front row seat when my father lost his battle with his weight and died shortly after wls at over 700lbs. Of course his was an extreme case and most of us will never get that far. But we all lose out on life when we're heavy and unhealthy.

You know you can do this. And you know why you have to. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, providing you get up.

baker23
01-13-2013, 04:51 PM
I can't really say anything new, that hasen't been said by everyone else but I do understand how you feel... Its a difficult journey, filled with many moments of questioning, self-loathing, and frustration. Many moments of wanting to give up, and go back to eating how you used to, because it's easier...

But you have to remember, the rewards are far greater in every aspect...Health, better apprication for your body, being able to do things you didn't think you'd ever do again and so much more.
Try and not look at it like a "Diet," but rather a lifestyle change to become healthy. Its ok to splurge once in awhile...sometimes we just need to...for that one meal, one day...but whats important is to hop right back to it and not let that one time derail every hour, every minunte, every second, and every bit of hard work and energy you poured into this..

Time will continue to go by, whether you stick to this commitment to be healthy or not... So where do you want to be in a year, or two, or even three?